what can you say about this picture

Chris Pratt covers the May/June 2017 issue of Cigar Aficionado magazine

“It’s tough sometimes, the amount of management you need to do on things you used to do spontaneously. What I really miss is sitting down and talking to strangers who don’t know me, so we can discover each other. I’d say the majority of people I meet have an idea about me before they meet me. There’s something nice to being able to surprise somebody.”

anonymous asked:

I don't understand the post about Karlie, can you explain it to me?

social media posts planned out on the white board behind her. What pictures she will take and caption with. One says contract/must, etc. lol

anonymous asked:

Headcanons for the chocobros with a SO who has narcolepsy if that's okay?

Hi anon friend!
I’ve been pondering on this request since I received it, which you know has been a long while… (sorry for the wait.) I’ve been trying to work on it on and off, but I always end up deleting my progress (not that I made much progress lol). I don’t think I’d be able to fulfill this request just because I do not know enough about narcolepsy to write an accurate headcanon/or story involving it. I don’t want to *trying to think of an appropriate word*…. condescend on narcolepsy? I don’t know. I can’t find the right word atm. Lol.

Basically what I’m trying to say, I don’t feel comfortable about writing this because I don’t want to offend anyone in anyway incase I get important information wrong. I hope you understand, love!

Here is a picture of Ignis being cute instead. 

Originally posted by winsaa

Requests will be open again once more really, really soon, so please do drop by with some more requests and I’ll be happy to do them!

Sorry again! <333 

anonymous asked:

Original anon about the lea sponsored post. Im not hating nor do i care *that* much about what she posts on her ig...i just feel uneasy over the fact that all those followers are skam fans some of whom are really young and comment stuff on her pics like "my self esteem is even lower now" and she doesn't seem to acknowledge it which i don't think should be her job plus she's only 17 (even tho she doesn't act like one). Im just pointing out that those (cont)

~50k followers are getting her jobs she wouldn’t have gotten other wise even tho she was pursuing a modelling career before henrik. She wouldn’t have signed with norway’s top modelling agency so quickly. And yes she’s doing what’s best for her and capitalism money yeah ok so? Does that mean someone can’t be uncomfortable with it? I know im not the only one bothered by the fact that people are benefitting from henrik and they never acknowledge him or his accomplishments at all

“it’s not that i care that much, but.” you do care, just accept that you care.

so you not only think you’re entitled to comment on a complete stranger’s life but you also think lea should praise henrik 24/7 for being a part of skam and for signing for norway’s top modeling agency on her social medias? (like! you do know that she’s… his girlfriend. they see each other. every other day! they talk to each other! every day!) and btw, it might not matter that much, but lea was signed by team models before it was official that she dated henrik!

she isn’t forcing anybody to follow her on her social medias. the thing she does? posting pictures of her boyfriend, which, by the way, every couple does.

if you feel uncomfortable? unfollow her. it’s that easy! 

dadvans  asked:

TOP FIVE STORIES PEOPLE HAVE ABOUT VICTOR "MY HUSBAND" NIKIFOROV

HOW CAN I PICK JUST FIVE, DADVANS, HE IS LIKE, A CRYPTID THAT JUST WANTS TO SHOW YOU PICTURES OF HIS BEAUTIFUL HUSBAND AND ADORABLE DOG. WHO PROBABLY DON’T EXIST. HE PROBABLY BOUGHT OUT SOME DUDE’S STOCK OF MODELING PHOTOS. THERE’S NO WAY A DUDE THAT CUTE EXISTS IN THIS TOWN, WE’D KNOW ABOUT IT.

  1. “okay you know that guy who comes in, the russian one that tips well?” “wait, the one that’s always talking about his husband and their dog?” “yeah, that guy! he came in with cupcakes he said his husband made, they’re in the break room.” 
  2. “so we had this girl being harassed, and like, this super gay dude just sat down beside her, whipped out an ipad, and started showing her pictures of his husband and their dog like he’d known her for years, and the guy trying to hit on her tried to tell him they were talking, and the super gay dude says, in this super Russian accent ‘don’t be stupid, nobody would want to talk to you. go away. we’re looking at pictures of my husband’.” “LMAO that’s My Husband, he’s always here when his husband is travelling.”
  3. “this guy came in to get an actual fucking blue rinse on his hair and spent the entire time talking about how his husband learned how to knit and made him a scarf and he went on and on about how talented he was” “was the scarf good” “lmao it looked like someone threw yarn against a wall and picked it up all tangled” “what did you say?” “what do you think I said, he tipped me 40% and took ten cards.”
  4. “I think My Husband is catfishing us, because I looked at the pictures he has of My Husband and lmao that’s like, Yuri Katsuki the skater.” “what, really?” “I mean, My Husband is hot or whatever, but can you imagine being married to him?” “lmao he probably downloaded the pictures and built this entire imaginary life about him and Katsuki, poor dude.” 
  5. “GUYS. GUYS, THIS IS NOT A DRILL. ALERT. ALERT. GUYS. MY HUSBAND’S HUSBAND IS AT THE BAR, AND HE HAS OUR DOG WITH HIM. ALERT. ALERT. MY HUSBAND’S HUSBAND AND OUR DOG ARE REAL, AND THEY’RE SITTING AT THE BAR. ACT CALM.” “holy shit it’s actually yuri katsuki.” “are you fucking kidding me.”
Yuri on Ice interview translation - PASH! 2017/05 (p24-25)

I am pleased to bring you the very first interview with director Sayo Yamamoto!!! You don’t know how much I’ve been waiting for this… This one is pretty general because of course she has never been interviewed before so they are asking her the basics, but it’s very interesting to finally hear things from her perspective too, since she’s the one who started it all. More interviews with her will be appearing in other magazines in the near future, I’m looking forward to those ones too.

Also, I believe a bright future is to be expected for Yuri on Ice, since she seems to have lots of plans…!! (I was shivering typing out the translation, lol)

Translation is under the cut.

***If you wish to share this translation please do it by reblogging or posting a link to it***

***Re-translating into other languages is ok but please mention that this post is the source***


Interview (first appearance in media!)
The world of “Yuri on Ice” that director Yamamoto wanted to create
With 8 notebooks full of notes in one hand, director Sayo Yamamoto has answered our interview for the first time. We have asked her how this new animation that no one had ever seen before was born.

Keep reading

chris evans has the same dreams as a ten year old girl and I LOVE HIM FOR IT

I don’t know if I will have the time to write any more letters, because I might be too busy trying to participate. So, if this does end up being the last letter, I just want you to know that I was in a bad place before I started high school, and you helped me. Even if you didn’t know what I was talking about, or know someone who’s gone through it, you made me not feel alone. Because I know there are people who say all these things don’t happen. And there are people who forget what it’s like to be sixteen when they turn seventeen. I know these will all be stories some day, and our pictures will become old photographs. We all become somebody’s mom or dad. But right now, these moments are not stories. This is happening. I am here, and I am looking at her. And she is so beautiful. I can see it. This one moment when you know you’re not a sad story. You are alive. And you stand up and see the lights on the buildings and everything that makes you wonder. And you’re listening to that song, and that drive with the people who you love most in this world. And in this moment, I swear, we are infinite.
—  The Perks of Being a Wallflower (seex)
Dance With Me - Jeff Atkins Smut

Jeff Atkins x reader

Request: I wanted to ask for an imagine. So the reader and Jeff are a couple and they are at the prom and in a dance the things got a bit hot so they go to Tony’s car. And you are a really good friend with tony so when they finish tony knocked the window of the car telling her he has to take her home. Please i’d love you a lot if you write something with this 😍. Thanks anyway ☺️

Warnings: Smut, swearing


“Mom I’m about to leave! Tony is almost here” I pick up my gold clutch and start to head for the door.

“Wait! wait! wait!” I hear my mom running down the stairs and I try to hold in my giggles. She comes running down with her camera.

“Where is Jeff? is he still coming?”

“Yes mom, he’s walking over here now, which why I need to go”. She walks over to me and fix my curled hair and smooths out my dress.

“You look gorgeous hunny. I want to wait for him to come so I can pictures.”

“Moooom” I whine. Leave it to her to be totally embarrassing. She loves Jeff. We have been dating for over a year now and the minute she met him, she thought of him as her child. She practically begs him to come over and even cooks for him. As she’s in the middle of taking pictures of me, the doorbell rings.

“That’s my sweetie Jeffy!” my mom says as she jogs to the door. I shake my head at her sudden change in sweetness. She swings open the door and crushes him in a hug.

“Hi Ms.y/l/n. These are for you.” As I look over her shoulder, I see Jeff give my mother a bouquet of peony flowers. This is exactly why she loves him. I wouldn’t be surprised if she loves him more than me.

“Oh my goodness! how sweet, Thank you Jeffrey, I’m going to go put these in a vase.” As she speeds off I shake my head and laugh. I look back at him and see him holding another bouquet of flowers, but its stunning red roses. My favorite.

“And these” he says as he pecks my lip, “Are for you my lady”. I grab the flowers and can’t hold in my smile.

“Why thank you sir.” I say as I kiss him again. I put the flowers down on the table beside the stairs and look back at him, taking in his attire. He looked amazing, although I’m not surprised. He’s the only guy that I feel can pull off a white top tuxedo. I noticed that he’s doing the same to me, taking in my outfit.

“Wow” he says with his mouth parted. I look down thinking something is wrong with my dress.

“What?” I say looking down. “Nothing, you just look beautiful.” I smile again, pushing my hair behind my ear. Even after a year with Jeff, he never fails to still make me feel special. After about 10 minutes, my mom comes jogging back in with her camera. She was probably in a daze with her flowers. 

“Okay you too, pictures then you can leave.” We spend the next 5 minutes taking different pictures together and my mom even sheds a few tears. After a bit, I finally get a text from Tony.

Hey y/n/n I’m outside

“Okay mom, Tony is outside, we have to go” I say, looping my arm through Jeff’s.

“Okay, okay have fun you too. Not too much fun now.” Jeff glances at me from the corner of his eye and I blush.

“Of course mom, we know” I grab my bag again as we walk out the door and skip down the stairs to Tony’s car.

“Be safe love you! Hi Tony hunny!” My mom calls out. I scream a quick ‘love you too’ as me and Jeff get into his car.

“Hey y/m/n, I’ll get her home safe!” He gets into the car and turns on his loud indie music that he loves. Jeff got into the front seat while I sit in the back. Tony drives off as we all make small talk, laughing together like we always do.

“Is Ryan going to be there?” I ask over the music.

“Yeah, we are doing the music together and hopefully squeeze in a dance.”

“Nice man” Jeff says, “If you guys don’t dance, I’ll grab you guys by the hand and force you.” I laugh at my boyfriends comment. He loves meddling in other peoples love life. That’s probably why we are so good together, he genuinely loves happy relationships. 

“Let’s get ready to fuck the night up!” Tony screams.


As we all walk inside, the music is blasting and there are a bunch of people dancing and grinding against each other. With my hand in Jeff’s, we walk through the crowd, chatting with different people here and there. 

“Jeff! Y/n! Tony!” We look and see Jessica, Justin and Monty waving us over to the center of the dance floor. we waltz over to them and I laugh at how wasted Jessica is almost getting, dry humping against a very happy Justin.

“I’m glad you guys came!” she screams. We all talk and laugh over the music and just have a good time bumping and dumb dancing to every song. Tony taps our shoulders and talks over the music.

“Guys I’m going to go up there with Ryan to help my boy out. You dudes have fun!” 

“Ada boy Tony! Go have fun!” Jeff laughs. Tony playful rolls his eyes and disappears into the crowd. We all continue dancing and laughing at a now drunk Jessica. Jeff slides his hands on my waist and whispers in my ear.

“Do you want a drink babe?” 

“Yeah I’ll go with you.” He grabs my hand as we head over to the food table.

“Jeff man, there is vodka in the left punch!” Justin yells over the music. Jeff turns his head back to look at him, “Nah I’m fine, but thanks”.

We get to the table and Jeff pours us some punch from the right. He seems to be looking around the gym a lot looking for something, but I already knew it was someone.

“Babe, Clay is sitting on the bleachers over there” I point. He looks at the direction of my finger and smiles at me.

“What I would do without you, I’ll be right back baby”. He pecks my lips and walks over to sit next to Clay. They talk for a few minutes and I can’t help but smile. Jeff is such a sweet person, and I love him so much for it. I continue to drink my punch as I look around at the people dancing. Soon a slow song comes on and I see Clay walking towards Hannah, and Jeff smiling at me from the bleachers, heading my way. He grabs my hand and pulls me towards the dance floor. He puts his hands on my waist, while I wrap my arms around his neck, swaying slowly.

“Is your job done?” I smile at him, “Yup, for now. Now I can focus on my beautiful girlfriend.”

I lay my head his shoulder, closing my eyes as I smell in his cologne. As we continue to slow dance, Jeff’s slides his hands down to my butt. He lightly squeezes and I look up at him.

“Jeff babe, what are you doing?” I ask slowly, looking around so no one sees him grabbing my ass in public.

“Hmm?” he hums. He starts kissing my neck and pushing me closer to him. 

“Jeff” I whisper, “stop babe, before people see.” He ignores me and starting sucking my sweet spot, not caring that people would see my soon to form hickey. I bite my lip, wanting to tell him to stop, but can’t. He’s turning me on and he knows it. I open my eyes and see people occupied with their date, either dancing or sucking their face off. Still sucking another part of my neck, Jeff is now full on squeezing my ass, pulling me into him. He stops and go straight to my mouth kissing me softly. I put my hand to his face, lightly moaning into his mouth. I can tell Jeff is forgetting we are in public once his hand goes to the back of my dress, tugging on my zipper. I move his hands and break our kiss. 

“Jeff, we are still in school” I laugh, softly panting. As I look at him, his eyes are filled with love and more importantly, lust. He grabs my waist and leans his lips against my ear.

“Then lets not be” he says deeply. I look up at him and bite my lip, nodding my head. He smirks and grabs my hand walking towards Tony up in the music area. As we walk, I noticed how wet Jeff as gotten me already just from giving me a hickey and feel hot from him not caring that we are around a bunch of students and teachers. As we get to Tony, Jeff whispers something in his ear. Tony laughs shaking his head and then reach into his pocket grabbing his keys. He hands him his keys, saying something back, earning a laugh from Jeff. As we walk towards the exit I look back at Tony smiling at us. 

“What did Tony say to you?” I ask as we walk outside.

“He said don’t stain his seats” he laughs. I flush from the embarrassment that Tony knows what we are about to do. We walk to his car, feeling the thick tension in the air around us. We clearly both can’t wait to rip each other clothes off and it’s exciting me. When Jeff unlocks the back door, he doesn’t even waste time. He pulls us in and locks the door behind us, starting back to kissing my neck.

“Since I say you in this dress, I wanted nothing than to rip it off of you” he says in his husky voice. I moan at his words and climb on top of him. 

“Not this one” I say smirking, “You already ripped my other dress.” He bites his lip to hold in his laugh.

“I said I was sorry baby.”

“I am too.”

“About wha-” before he can finish, I grab his shirt and pop all his buttons, revealing his hard abs in front of me. His mouth drops open as he looks at his now ripped shirt.

“Babe!” he yells as I smile innocently and start sucking his neck. He leans his head back and grab my waist. I’m glad I chose to wear a thin pair of thongs, feeling him get hard under me. He unzips my dress and I wiggle out of it, getting up to take it fully off. I am now only left in just my thong, now feeling conscious that someone could see me. We are parked behind the school away from other cars and houses, but I’m still nervous. He looks up and down at my exposed body and I can’t help but love the way he was looking at me. 

“Fuck, your so sexy y/n”. I pull his ripped shirt and jacket off of him and go back to kissing. He wraps his arms around my torso as he deepens the kiss, kissing me hungrily. I palm his member through our body, making him moan as he bucks his hips into my hand, wanting to feel more. I unzip his pants and pull them down to his ankles. He breaks our kiss, and wraps his lips around one of my breast, making me lean my head back against the head rest of the drivers seat. I hump against his hard member, making me even more wet against our friction. I moan at our movement as Jeff moves my hips faster against him.

“Fuck, babe your killing me” he grunts. I smirk at him as I pull his member from his boxers and pump him with my hands. He throws his head back and starts breathing hard. He starts to buck himself into my hand, moaning my name.

“Fuck y/n, that feels good”. I go faster, looking at him almost come undone with my fingers. As I continue, Jeff pulls my underwear to the side, rubbing his finger against my clit. As I speed my hand on his dick, Jeff starts to rub harder against my core. I throw my head back again, grinding my hips onto his fingers.

“Fuck Jeff!” I moan, biting my lip. Both of us are a moaning mess as we pick up our pace. A wave of heat rush to my core and I stop pumping him once I feel him twitch in my hand. 

“Baby, I can’t wait anymore” He kisses me, as he grabs a condom from the arm rest of Tony’s car. I stop kissing him to start laughing.

“Why does Tony have those in his car” I laugh, “Cause he’s not dumb” Jeff laughs back. He slides on the condom and positions himself at my entrance, waiting for me to go from there. I grab his member from under me and pull my underwear to the side, slowly sliding onto him, moaning at the feeling.

“Fuck” I moan, as I sit on him fully. I slowly start to circle around him, to get use to the feeling. He groans against me and starts to bounce me up and down. I move his hand away, shaking my head.

“I got this babe, relax.” He puts his hand up to surrender and puts his hand to his side. I put my arm around his neck and start to slowly ride him, teasing him. 

“Baby, please” he breaths out, with his eyes closed. I pull closer into him and pick up my pace, bouncing hard against him. He moans louder as I start pounding on him. 

“Fuck baby! I need to touch you” He goes to my legs and lightly lifts them as he lowers himself in the seat. He roughly starts thrusting into me as I wrap my legs around him. I try not to scream so no one can here, but fuck he’s making it hard.

“Jeff! my god!” I loudly moan, my arms wrapped around his neck. He picks up his pace, his nails digging into my thighs. 

“Babe, I-I’m abo-” I feel Jeff twitch inside of me as his thrust got sloppier. I start to feel myself tighten and I moan louder.

“Yes! babe, I can’t!” I yell. Jeff pounds into me full speed as we both ride out our high. I slide off of him as he pulls back up his boxers. Still latched onto him, I see how all the windows in the car is fogged up. Both panting, I lay my head on his shoulder, closing my eyes.

“I love you baby” he says, rubbing my back.

“I love you too” I say sleepily.

It seems like we have been laying here for hours before we hear a knock on the window.

“Shit!” I cursed as I jump off of Jeff, pulling my dress back on, trying to zipper it back up while Jeff laughs at me. He throws on his shirt and jacket, waits till my dress is back on, then rubs the fogged up window, seeing the back of Tony. 

“Are you guys clothes on?” he asks, still not looking at us. Jeff rolls the window down laughing. 

“Yes you big baby” he laughs.

“Good, cause I promised y/m/n that I will have her home safe and if she’s split on half, that’s not saf-”

“Ew okay Tony just get in the car!” I yell, not wanting to be embarrassed anymore. He laughs and gets in the drivers side, getting the keys back from Jeff. As he starts the car, he starts to loudly sniff. 

“Do you guys mind opening the windows, it smells like sex in her-”

“Oh my gosh Tony!” I yell, covering my face flushing. Jeff finds this all so hilarious, laughing his ass off at all of this. For the rest of the ride, Tony keeps looking in his mirror at us, trying to hold in his laugh. 

“So did you guys have fun tonight?”

“Yeah, but my favorite part was the ride” he says looking at my red face.

“It was really good” he smirks.

“Jeff!” I yell.

Coda 12x11

Sam’s trying to keep it together but it isn’t easy with Dean wandering off like a child, nothing even resembling a lead on the witch, and the metaphorical clock ticking so loudly that he can practically hear it. The television kept Dean’s focus for a while, but now he’s restlessly wandering around the motel room, complaining. Racking his brain for a game to pull up on his phone to keep his brother occupied, Sam entreats him to sit back down on the bed, but Dean shakes his head.

“I wanna go outside,” he says again.

“I need to keep working so we can get you…better,” Sam says, with a false note of confidence. “If you could just give me some time to research—“

“I wanna go outside,” Dean insists, like a child who wants to play. Sam’s trying not to snap at him when Dean’s suddenly present again with a pained lucidity in his eyes that Sam hasn’t seen for the past few hours.  “It’s too much being cooped up in here, Sammy, waiting for whatever I’m gonna lose next. I need some fresh air. I need to see the sky.”

Sam’s on his feet in an instant. It’s bad enough when Dean lets Sam lead him around, happy to be along for the ride and pleased with whatever simplistic answers Sam gives him. But at least in those moments Sam can pretend it’s a stranger wearing his brother’s body. These flashes of awareness are exponentially worse and Sam is determined to give him whatever he needs.

“Ok, Dean,” he suggests. “How about this?” He moves a chair into the motel doorway, propping the door open with it. It will leave him close enough to get a signal while he keeps one eye on Dean outside. The Impala is parked right at the curb and he leads Dean to it, hoping that the familiar sun-warmed feel of the hood will comfort him in a way that words can’t. Dean climbs onto the hood with his eyes trained on the clear blue sky. As Sam watches, Dean begins to relax, leaning back against the windshield. “You want your sunglasses?”

Dean doesn’t answer, just shakes his head no. Sam gets back to work.

The calm lasts about a half hour until clouds begin to move in, marring the blue with a promise of rain.

Dean clambers awkwardly down from Baby and comes to stand before Sam. “The ocean,” he says with no preamble.

Sam blinks up at him. “What about it?”

“I want to go see the ocean.”

“Dean.” Sam tries to keep his voice calm and gentle. “We’re in Arkansas. There’s no ocean here.”

“But I want to see it.”

“I’m sorry, Dean. That’s not something we can do right now.” Dean’s face begins to crumple, so Sam quickly adds. “I have an idea,” and that’s enough to elicit Dean’s interest. Back inside the room, Sam takes out Dean’s laptop and types ocean into Google image search. “How about you look at pictures of oceans and tell me which one you want to go see when we’re all done here?”

Dean’s already fixated on the blues and greens filling the screen and he reaches for the computer.

“Just click right here to make each one bigger.” Sam points to the trackpad and he’s treated to an eye roll from his brother that he finds equal parts jarring and reassuring.

“I’m not an idiot, Sam.”

You forgot your own name, Sam wants to say, but there’s no point in burdening Dean with that.

“Ok, Dean. Find the one you like best.”

Sam gets back to his research as Dean takes his assignment to heart. There’s a steady stream of clicking and muttering as Dean opens and then rejects photo after photo. Finally, he stands and brings the laptop over to Sam.

“This one.”

Sam smiles at him and takes a look to be polite. It’s a beach in French Polynesia with tropical waters as deep and blue as…

“Good job, Dean. I’m gonna call Cas, ok?”

Dean nods, never taking his eyes away from the screen.

*

On his way to meet Rowena, Sam pauses in the doorway. “I’ll be back as soon as I can,” he tells Cas, who is sitting on one of the beds.

Calmer than he’s been all day, Dean lies with his head in Cas’s lap. When Cas turns to say goodbye to Sam, Dean reaches out a hand to Cas’s cheek, angling his face so he can continue to stare up into his eyes.

anonymous asked:

"Dean says something to Mary about lying and November 1, 1983." Ohhh where'd you find that out?? It's got me intrigued

Jim Michaels tweeted a picture where we can see a page of the script.

Here’s what I can make out of Dean’s lines to Mary:

“You lied to me. You said you’d keep me safe but the deal you made with Azazel - you saved Dad’s life but there was a catch.” 

[Tight on Mary, Dean is getting to her]

“On November 2, 1983, Yellow Eyes Waltzed right into Sam’s room, thanks to your deal. After that…”


SO.

QUITE A CONFRONTATION IS COMING.

Great Balls of Fucking Fire!

(Title because everyone titles their shit ‘humans are weird’ and telling these posts apart is a pain in the ass!) So, saw a post about aliens not being all that great with human swearing. (Wish I’d saved the damn post!) And my first thought was ‘Ah, yes, good! Go with that! That is awesome!” They pointed out that aliens wouldn’t understand swearing such as “Fuck!” or “Asshole!”. I thought “Motherfucker” would be another great one to add to the list. But what about the more um…inventive swears? For example (these are all ones that I use or have heard used):


Human: “Jesus Christ on a crutch!”

Alien: “Where? And how was your deity hurt? For that matter, how did your deity board the ship?”


Human: “Well fuck me sideways!”

Alien: “I do not think that is anatomically possible for either of us…”


Human: “I’ve met some pricks in my time, but you fine sir are the fucking cactus!”

Alien: “Fucking…cactus? Why would you wish to engage in coitus with a dessert plant? Wouldn’t it hurt?!”


Human: “Son of a biscuit eating bull dog!”

Alien: ?????


(Damnit, now I’m on a roll.) But consider some of these other things. What about human name calling? Like, the original post touched on that a bit with the ‘asshole’ comment. But again, what about the more inventive name calling? Children call each other ‘meanie’, ‘poopoo head’, and ‘meanie head’. Those would be confusing enough. Now picture an alien having to deal with adult name calling. Some of my friends have been known to use the following:

  • Twat waffle
  • Cunt biscuit
  • Shitlet
  • Douchebag
  • Ass goblin
  • Fuckwit
  • Ass clown
  • Captain Obvious (and their partner, Sergeant Sarcasm)
  • Butt Munch
  • Fucktard
  • Dick face
  • Shit nibbler (or nibblet)
  • Cheeky dickwaffle
  • Pecker head
  • Dingleberry

Can you picture an alien reacting to THOSE? And what about colloquialisms? What about those stupid sayings that don’t entirely make sense, but we use them anyway? Like, check out some of these beauties, and just imagine the alien’s glorious confusion over some of these:

 Human: “I am dragging so much ass that I am wiping out the tracks behind me!”

Alien: “Human you can’t leave tracks on a spaceship, nor is you posterior currently touching the ground.”


Human: (doesn’t trust some space pirate) “You can shake his hand, but you’ll have to count your fingers afterward.”

Alien: Promptly hides human’s hands, he didn’t know that that space pirate was a finger stealer! Or that finger stealers were a thing! Are their own tentacles close enough to count? Should they be worried? Don’t worry, I will protect your fingers my human!


Human: “We better dock soon, because I’ve got to pee like a motherfucker/ racehorse/ mother racehorse (that last is my families fusion of the two. Dont ask).

Alien: ???? (doesn’t compute) ?????


Human: “I’m so hungry I could eat a (insert large animal or item of choice. Such as ‘Spaceship’)!”

Alien: Races off to warn captain that they need to up the human’s food intake before it eats the ship right out from under them!!!!


Human: “He’s slicker than owl shit!” 

Alien: ?????


Human: “I’m busier than a one legged man in an ass kicking contest!”

Alien: Gets migraine trying to picture how a human with one leg could kick anything, much less as a competitor.


Human: “Stop running around like a chicken with your head cut off! Your hair is not on fire!”

Alien: Freezes mid-step to stare at human. “W-what?”


Just picture all of these guys!

My Fake boyfriend Part 9

Summary: After receiving a very rude letter of your ex on the mail saying that he is going to get married. You see yourself not knowing what to do, you can just let it go or accept the help of your hot neighbor and pretend he is your boyfriend.

Paring: Bucky x Reader

Words: 2146

Warnings: Just fuffly and maybe some aganst

Thank you @drinkfantasy you are the best

Originally posted by whohehellisbucky

You are in shock…

All happened in slow motion, one moment you are pushing Lucas away from you and the other Bucky is holding Lucas by his shirt lifting him in the air. Bucky punches him in the face, you can feel that Bucky didn’t use half of his strength and that he even pulled his punch back a little.

Sure Lucas would wake up in pain and with a black eye tomorrow, but Bucky could have killed Lucas with just a punch, after all he is a super soldier. Bucky drops Lucas on the floor and his expression soften when he looks at you “Are you okay?” He asks gently.

You nod and he takes your hand. You watch as Lucas gets up from the floor and all you can feel is rage because Lucas has a smirk on his fucking face. How dare him kiss you? Why did he think that he had the right to kiss you? For that moment you let the rage take over you.

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So a few of my friends, namely @josteninski, @tarjeiandhenrik and @mikaelboukhalls have gotten asks where they’ve directed the people asking to come to me. I have my inbox shut right now, for …. well, reasons that I think most people are aware of, but here’s the answers to those questions!

1) A few questions have come up about Sana praying,and what does it mean when she does this:

This is the first action we do when we pray Salah. This is the bit where we make our Niyyah (intention for Salah), by saying in our minds that we are now intending to pray *Fajr/Duhr/Asr/Maghrib/Isha* Salah (depending on what Salah we are praying), and then we raise our hands, like you can see Sana doing in the picture, and then we say Allahuakbar (Allah is the Greatest), and that now indicates that we are now in Salah - that we are now in direct, one to one communication with Allah. That we have shifted our focus entirely from the world outside and around us, and the only place our focus is at, is the conversation we are having with Allah, since that is what Salah is, a form of worship where we are having a conversation with Allah, 5 times a day.

2) What will Sana and Yousef’s love story pan out to look like?

I personally have never dated in my life. But from what I ~know~, urm, in our romantic relationships, there’s a lot of respect for boundaries and how far/not far we wanna take things, physically speaking. Romance in the East is VERY different from romance in the West. In the East, romance is mainly centered on building a solid emotional bond, having solid emotional intimacy first, and then from there, we build onto more physical intimacy, and I imagine that is what it’s gonna be like between Sana and Yousef. Slow burn, very heavy focus on eye contact, shyness, lingering looks, smiles, secretly glancing at one another, sweet, pure, wholesome. Standing not too close to one another, until they both feel comfortable in doing so, in getting into each other’s personal space. That’s how I imagine it. 

glaad.org
89th Academy Awards: 'Moonlight' is first LGBTQ film to win Best Picture
Moonlight picked up three awards tonight, including Best Picture and Best Adapted Screenplay.

Probably don’t need to tell you, but it can’t be said enough: Moonlight has won the Best Picture Oscar, making it the first LGBTQ film to take home the industry’s highest honor.

The film is based on the play, “In Moonlight Black Boys Look Blue,” and scriptwriter Tarell Alvin McCraney says:

Moonlight isn’t just a ‘gay film’ or a ‘black film,’” attributing an inauthenticity in limiting the film to just one category. 

It is a queer story, it is a gay story, it is a poverty story — you know what I mean? It is a story about drug addiction.”

Through its win, many are celebrating the universality of stories told from marginalized perspectives – that anyone can relate to & learn from these less visible perspectives even if the experiences between the viewer and the film’s subjects are dissimilar.

We hope that the Best Picture win will ignite an intellectual curiosity for many more people to seek out the film than would otherwise – but what’s assured: Moonlight is a landmark film that will enjoy a place in the studied canon for the rest of film history.

Taste The Sweet (Grayson Smut)

Summary: You’re a Youtuber, hanging around the H&M tent at Coachella. Grayson is your biggest fan.
Word Count: 2,861
Warnings: Fingering.
A/N: Thank you to the anon who sent this idea in! This is all your idea, I’m just writing it out. I didn’t want to post the request because it contains “spoilers” but this imagine is basically what the anon requested. Hope you like this one! (title from Don’t Be So Shy by Imany)


“Turn your head a little to the side…” The photographer gestured with her hand, cocking her head to the left so you smiled and complied. “Perfect. Now smile.”

The flash went off a few times as she snapped her photos, and you tried to stay still and let her do the work but you were feeling too excited. Earlier today you had arrived in Palm Springs, ready to head over to the festival and show off your outfit that you had spent three weeks planning beforehand.

You didn’t know how you had gotten so lucky. One minute you had been uploading your pictures on instagram and it had blown up, gaining over a hundred thousand followers the first few months. By the time you had reached five hundred thousand, you had started up a Youtube channel, and a year later you had gained over two million on your channel and been invited to numerous events. Coachella being one of them.

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

I dated a guy for 8 years before we decided to get married. He dumbed in the alter where I waited for two hours without him or one of the bridesmaid whom he apparently eloped with. We had sex the night before so it shocked me to the core and I only knew what he did because of a snap he took in Las Vegas about it. What would RFA + V + saeran react to that when the have crush one me. Sorry it's too personal but I'm hurt and I don't know how to cope. I know it's full of typos please ignore them.

*cracks neck* A few of these characters may beat up the fictional equivalent of that douchebag for you. I’m so sorry this happened to you. I don’t know if I can properly convey to you the sadness and anger I feel at your story. So I’m just going make sure that our MysMe friends take care of him.

Also, I make an exception about pronouns for you. It’s all you/yours for this HC.

I’m actually surprised this one flowed out so naturally… enjoy!


Yoosung

  • When he hears what happened, he’s like a deer in the headlights
  • How is supposed to respond to that?!
  • You’re crying, and it breaks his heart to see you cry, but he’s also angry that that douchebag hurt you so badly
  • And underneath it all, even though he tries to squash the evil little voice, a part of him is singing “Ode to Joy” because you’re now single
  • But not ready to mingle, so he keeps his distance in that way
  • He’s there for you, holds you, does his best to cheer you up

Jaehee

  • if she ever sees him again, she’s going to Judo kick him so hard in the head, his skull will fracture
  • When she finds out, she gets you out of the church as fast as possible, helps you change, and takes you somewhere safe from prying eyes, private, and takes your phone away
  • She calls the RFA (still at the wedding) tells them what happened, and asks everyone to clear out the guests
  • Zen’s so angry on your behalf that you even hear him yelling through the phone, swearing up and down that if he ever gets his hands on DB, he will kill him
  • She will bring you anything you need, tea, coffee, pastries, ice cream
  • Jaehee has warm blankets (fresh from the dryer), dvds, and time, so she stays with you until you need time and space, then leaves, and comes back when you call
  • You need to work your way through this? She understands if you need to take a quick cry break in the back
  • seriously, though, if she ever sees him again, she will probably Judo kick him into the sun

Zen

  • He.
  • Is.
  • Ready.
  • To.
  • Kill.
  • Zen’s never exactly been shy about flirting or expressing his feelings for you, even if it was one-sided, not taken seriously, and he never intended to seduce you away from your beau
  • But Zen is a hopeless romantic, so someone spitting on the name of love like that, regardless of you, pisses him off
  • He doesn’t play around with women’s emotions (not on purpose, anyways)
  • When he hears the two of you even had sex the night before, he’s so angry he wants to hit everything
  • But he’s here for you, and so he drags you out of the church, takes you either to a bar or his apartment (that way you don’t have to look at the place you shared with him and be reminded)
  • Zen ignores the looks two get while riding his motorcycle
  • Once your safely hidden away in his apartment, he isn’t afraid to hold you, give you anything he has- 
  • -in his fridge! That’s totally… what… um… h-he meant…
  • He has a ton of beer, and is more than willing to knock a few back with you and play games or watch TV
  • In the end, you play drinking games and watch bad TV
  • Years and years later, your in a happy relationship, married to Zen, you’re walking down street and see the guy the left you at the altar, and Zen bull rushes him and throws a few punches
  • Dude holds a grudge

Jumin

  • We all know Jumin Han and how quick he is to jump into relationships
  • He wanted a relationship with before he found out you were engaged, and was only okay with letting you go because you seemed happy
  • So, with everyone waiting in the pews at the church for over an hour, he knows something is wrong and goes looking for you
  • When he finds you crying, he asks what’s wrong, and you show him the snap of DB in Vegas, eloping, he’s furious
  • Jumin immediately tells you deserve so much better, and if you’d like, he’d be more than willing to step in as the groom for this wedding
  • If you say no, he will accept your answer, but will be there, supporting you and hoping someday you’ll say yes to a spontaneous marriage proposal
  • However, if you say yes, he walks you out there, head held high, heart soaring, a small smile on his face
  • No matter what you say, he’ll probably send a security team after him to beat him up

Saeyoung

  • Will do anything and everything to make you smile after hearing that terrible news
  • Saeyoung will try to distract you, protect you from prying wedding guests, and hack your now ex’s life simultaneously
  • He’ll even drag Saeran into the fun! or just hand off the hacking so that he can focus on distracting you more
  • Saeyoung will try his best to protect you from the pain
  • He hacks DB’s social medias and edits  any picture of him so he has devil horns, a tail, and a hitler ‘stache
  • So when you inevitably check, possibly out of habit, you see a small part of what he did
  • Also, btw, Saeyoung hacked int DB’s credit scores, managed to drop the whole thing to zero and lock it there, and he also got the IRS to look into him, just to fuck with him 😈

V

  • When he hears what happened, he just asks what you want to do now
  • Is there anything he can do for you? To help you?
  • If you say, “Take me home” he will escort you home
  • If you say, “hold me” he will hold you and hopes never to let go
  • He take care of you anyway you ask him to
  • The only time V says no, is when you ask for something that’s bad for you (like your phone, because you keep staring at that picture of DB in Vegas for some reason, like you can’t believe your eyes)
  • V is just very compassionate and giving, and eventually helps you through things, even if it’s only piece by piece
  • might ask Jumin to get a security team to track down DB and do something about him

Saeran

  • Oh, this guy is so dead
  • He took a snap chat? Well, guess what, Saeran is a hacker and can not only trace his location, but fuck with everything around him
  • This DB is going to pay for making you cry
  • Saeran takes all the guys money, uses it on things for you to make you feel better afterwards
  • Seriously, on DB’s dime, Saeran arranges an entire day at a nice, fancy spa with a massage, a facial, mani-pedi, haircut, the works, all for you
  • Of course he doesn’t tell you any of this because you wouldn’t approve
  • He also pays a few guys off (again, on DB’s time) to go “rough up” DB
  • He watches the whole thing from a distance, recording it all with his phone

Dipped in Ink (Namjoon/Reader)

Prompt: REQUEST COMING THROUGH! Idk if you know what a stick and poke tattoo is, but I was wondering if I could have one with Joon where he gives the reader a stick and poke tattoo? I know he’s pretty clumsy but I feel like doing something like that for someone who he loves he’d be super careful. (if not pick any other member i’m cool with all my boys). I just think it’d be something sort of intimate cos it kinda hurts. and then maybe it could lead to some sexy times? THANKS LUV U

Genre: Smut

Words: 4K+

Author: Admin Kaycie

Summary: “You know,” He began carefully, voice lowering as he leaned back over your body, pushing the needle into your flesh again slowly. “I’ve heard that for some pain can be an aphrodisiac…”

Tags: Mentions of Tattooing (needles, blood, etc.), Dirty Talk, Mutual Masturbation, Daddy!Joon, Baby Girl, etc. 

Please note, I am no expert in the art of anything tattoo related, so please do not try to be rude if I messed up any of the details as far as that goes.

Originally posted by rapnamu


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casual misogyny in fandom is a hell of a drug man

i totally understand being upset that dirk was demonized a lot in the past and wanting to see him be softer – i really, really get that

but like….. you can’t say “what about the trauma mom caused rose” when you don’t like…. care.

dirk is a subject of heated debate because dave is probably the single most popular character in the webcomic. the hyperfocus on strider manpain literally helped create this problem.

yeah, it sucks that we don’t explore mom and rose’s relationship more or try to parse it more closely. many have already. but not…. THAT many. not enough that anyone like, mentions mom lalonde or roxy other than including her in the backgrounds of group pictures

it’s absolutely frustrating that anyone would imply “you just don’t want to get mad at female characters for being abusive” when some of y'all don’t even think about female characters. you don’t care! this has always been a long-standing frustration for me wrt fandom and it’s even more frustrating when people are like “why are we always talking about [bad] guys? why don’t we talk about [bad] girls?” bc it’s like….. some of you never devote that much god damn attention to girls anyway

the first like 4-5 years i was in this fandom i didn’t see a single person point out that vriska was a child abuse victim even though there were essays upon essays upon essays speculating about dave’s guardian. i had to watch strider manpain bullshit trainwreck terezi’s character in the fandom because she existed as a prop to dave for years. i cant even to this day find a fanfiction about rose and kanaya specifically without digging through hundreds upon hundreds of dave/karkat and john/karkat fics in the AO3 tag that feature rose and kanaya speaking once

like yeah dude it sucks that the homestuck fandom was really hard on dirk. but you really can’t act shocked when nobody took the time and effort to analyze morally gray female characters the way they did male characters (vriska is the exception to this rule but she’s a very rare case and that’s another can of worms), because of course they didn’t. they never do.

fandom creates these problems for a multitude of reasons mostly involving an absolute unwillingness to care about even very well-written female characters (unless they’re interacting with boys) that eventually runs into this whole idea i’m seeing that somehow we’re harder on characters like dirk than morally gray female characters, when that is not and has never been true

people aren’t harder on dirk than mom lalonde or roxy or mindfang or any other ~questionable~ female character – they just care more about him.