what can you not do baby

BTS as dirty texts pt.2

Rapmon: Baby your bone structure is giving my “bone” structure.

Jin: What do you call a penguin with a large penis? An icebreaker.

Suga: My magical watch says you’re not wearing any panties…oh, you are? Damn, it must be an hour fast…

J-hope: We should play strip poker. You can strip, and I’ll poke you

Jimin: Has any one ever told you your ass looks like a phone cause I want to hit the pound button all day long. 

Taehyung: I have a tongue like an anteater; want to go to the zoo?

Jungkook: Hey people call me the bar stool because of my third leg.

anonymous asked:

Hey i was wondering if u could maybe do a prompt where jellybean is in town and betty and jughead are babysitting her and she gets sick and they have to look after her? Btw I love your fics xx thanks

Let me twist this a little bit! Jelly beans a baby and jughead is a nervous wreck😂
***

Jughead paced back and forth, his feet wearing treads into the kitchen floor as he rocked his squirming sister in his arms. Why wouldn’t she stop crying? Why was she screaming? He’d done everything right, he followed the instructions his mother had given him word by word.

“It’s okay Jellybean. What do you want?! What can I do?!” He groaned frantically, for a split second the baby looked up at him and quieted down, Jughead eyes went wide and he let out a breath he didn’t even know he’d been holding, sure enough .2 seconds later the tiny baby in his arms was wailing again and clawing to get away.

In theory, telling his parents he could watch the new baby had been a great idea. Things were going so well since his mother had moved back home 2 years ago, she’d gotten pregnant less than a year later and his family was finally whole again…well with a new addition of course. He was a senior now so the age gap was a little ridiculous but none the less he loved his little bean. He had wanted to give his parents a night out, a chance to be on their own, however this was not what he had in mind for himself.

Jughead knew what he had to do, positioning jellybean on his hip he pulled his cellphone from his pocket he tried to listen over the screaming.

A sugary sweet voice came over the line
“Hi love.”

Jughead couldn’t help the soft smile that fell on his lips at his girlfriends voice, the shrieking of his baby sister quickly broke him out of his momentary peace

“I need you.” He spoke into the phone as Jellybean flung his beanie halfway across the room “hey!”

He heard the rustling of keys and Betty’s simple
“Be there in ten.”

He had just wrestled Jellybean out of her onesie when he heard the front door open,
“Juggie?”

“In here!” He called out desperately, holding the tiny feet down in an attempt to avoid being kicked in the face. He looked over his shoulder to see Betty leaning against the door frame, a goofy smile on her lips.

“Lookin good daddy.” She smirked

Jughead glanced down at his white t shirt, now covered in baby food as a diaper hung from his shoulder, his hair was a mess and he had a bottle sticking out of his pocket.

“Very funny, help. Please.” He held up his hands and Betty swooped in, cooing softly as she quickly changed the diaper like a pro, her nimble fingers buttoning up the onesie and holding Jellybean to her chest.

“You’re just sleepy aren’t you baby?” She swayed gently, “she just needs a nap.” Betty explained, kissing the baby fine hair on the little girls head.

Suddenly she was humming, a soft haunting song that seemed to be exactly what his little sister needed. Jughead was captured, he couldn’t tear his eyes from the Scene.

Betty had the most maternal instinct he had ever seen, even more than his own mother. She rocked the newborn with such ease he felt his own chest ache as pictures of this very scene appeared in front of his eyes, only the babies had Betty’s green eyes and Jughead wavy dark hair.

“Ah.” She finally whispered as the baby’s eyes fluttered delicately and her breathing slowed , she very gently placed Jellybean back in her crib, pressing a finger to her lips as she led Jughead out of the room.

Betty turned towards him
“See that wasn’t so bad she was just..”

Jughead cut her off by pressing his lips to hers, gripping her hips and pushing her against the wall, she gasped into his mouth and tugged in his hair.

Jughead pulled away slowly and rested his forehead on hers

“Let’s make one of our own.” He stated breathily, Betty’s eyes widening as she giggled

“Right now? We’re only eighteen Juggie.” She giggled again.

Jughead grinned, pressing another slow kiss to her lips

“Not now, but… someday.” He spoke wistfully and Betty smiled lovingly as she gripped his hand

“Someday.”

anonymous asked:

top 10 gay coded 1d songs?

ive waited like three years for an excuse to make this post i love you…. imma be real more than half of this is just wlw-coded but like its gay if you change the pronouns too so take it however u like tbh!

1. happily

i don’t care what people say when we’re together
you know i wanna be the one who holds you when you sleep
i just want it to be you and i forever
i know you wanna leave so come on baby, be with me, so happily

2. they don’t know about us

people say we shouldn’t be together
we’re too young to know about forever
//
they can say anything they want cause they don’t know us
they don’t know what we do best
its between me and you, our little secret
but i wanna tell them

3. end of the day 

my priest thinks its the devil
my mom thinks its the flu
but girl its only you

4. alive

my mother told me i should go and get some therapy
i asked the doctor can you find out what is wrong with me?
//
she said hey! its alright
does it make you feel alive?

5. strong

but i don’t care, i’m not scared of love
cause when i’m not with you im weaker
is that so wrong? is it so wrong?
that you make me strong

6. does he know

does he know that you’ll never go back?
he’ll never know the way you lie when you look at me
so keep trying but you know i see
all the little things who make you who you are

7. she’s not afraid

she walks in and the room just lights up
but she don’t want anyone to know
that I’m the only one who gets to take her home

8. best song ever

which is only on this list bc of that time harry changed the pronouns mid song to make it literally a gay song

9. i would

also only on this list bc the lyrics got changed again and now its literally! a gay song

10. more than this

i don’t even know what they were up to in their early days but apparently they used to do really wild out there lyric changes and one of them was more than this where harry sang his solo as “i can love you more than stan” ?? listen whatever dude im interpreting this exactly how it sounds

Mini ladd: Do you think the ocean is salty because the land never waves back?

Ohmwrecker: Why are babies in the womb for nine months but aren’t nine months old when they’re born?

H20Delirious: Why is Monday so far from Friday but Friday so close to Monday?

Cartoonz: Can a crip donate blood?

Panda: Can a teacher give a homeless kid homework?

Bryce: What color are mirrors?

Nogla: What does water taste like?

Vanoss: If I weigh 99 pounds and eat a pound of nachos, am I 1% nacho?

Terroriser: If sperm makes babies and is found in testicales then ball really is life.

Wildcat: WHAT THE FUCK IS HAPPENING!!

Watching the ‘no man’s land’ in wonder woman I realised that even though it might not be every woman’s story, it surely was mine. 

She climbs up, deflects one bullet with her arm. Looks at it and realises her power - what she can do. She is not surprised, its just an affirmation of the capabilties she always thought she had. As she steps forward there are more bullets, more challenges and she starts gaining confidence as she starts running towards danger. 

Metaphorically thats how patriarchy in Pakistan works. You start small, you deflet one challenge, realise you do more and then go on from baby steps to full blown running and then a point comes where you stop and hide behind your shield, screaming knowing you have reached your limit. You can’t make it alone. 

That’s where your friends come in and help you, people who inspired by you believe in the same cause. They come and help you cross that final mile. That scene spoke to me on so many levels because that is EXACTLY scene by scene my life story of how I became a courageous young woman from a meek little mouse. 

WTF PLL

Wren Kingston ended up a fucking nECKLACE
Toby was raped aGAIN and it wasn’t even addressed
Spoby was basically spat on and my babies deserve so much better
You really expect me to believe Toby doesn’t know what Spencer’s vagina feels like yeah ok hun 👀
We were told questions were gonna be answered. HA HA HA
Tf was that ending? Because I’m not gonna sit by and watch another train wreck happen
Marlene King, 🖕🏻
Sincerely, one of the fans you’ve fucked over. I’m gonna make sure to stay clear of anything else you create, which is gonna be hard anyway since you can only steal fan theories and not do anything yourself.

I know we all complain about marlene and what she’s done to the show, but let’s be real for a second. she’s spent 7 years of her life dedicated to this show, imagine all the nights of hard work, long days on set, business meetings, interviews she’s had to do. whether she like the direction of the show or not, it was her baby. she really cared about it, you can’t dispute that. so seeing her little cameo at the end really made me smile because she deserved that moment of actually being in the world she helped create over the years, even if it was just for a few seconds. you can’t really begrudge her that.

anonymous asked:

What sims characters do you play with

Oml so im playing the not so berry sims challenge rn and the second gen is a teen now and im like ‘good i can focus on getting her ready to take over’ and then my fucking first gen sims gets pregnant AGIAN and im like ’,,,,fuck’
So now i have anothe goddamn baby

Music Series: Smother Me by The Used

Thank you…me too…and thanks again! 😚

This is another one that I had an entirely different story written, then had a better one pop into my head last minute and changed the whole thing up! So I hope you all like it!

This is “Smother Me” by The Used, which can be heard HERE on Spotify. xo

Shelli

******************

Let me be the one who calls you baby

All the time

Surely you can take some comfort

Knowing that you’re mine

Just hold me tight, lay by my side

and let me be the one who calls you

Baby all the time

Keep reading

khsupergeek1288  asked:

Hey Osomatsu if Choromatsu doesn't want a kid like with Ichi why not adopt? It's a start

Oso: See Choromatsu? We can still get our baby!

Choro: I already said no so stop insisting!

Oso: What’s your deal?! I thought you didn’t wanna have one because you saw how Ichimatsu handled his pregnancy and with this you won’t have to!

Choro: Either way we can’t!

Oso: Yes we can you just don’t wanna!

Choro: …Do you even know the reason why I’m refusing so much?

Oso: Because you just don’t wanna?

Choro: Because of us!

Oso: …Us?

Choro: Not in a relationship way. I do love you but I know our situation. We’re NEETs I hate to say. We don’t have jobs, even if we have one we don’t last in them, you mostly don’t like to work and don’t plan on working any time soon. So how do you plan for us to have a child when we still live with our parents and jobless? We wouldn’t be able to afford looking out for our selves, and with a child even less…Do you understand what I’m trying to say?

Oso: …Whoa…I uh, didn’t really see it that way. I just thought we were gonna stay here and all.

Choro: Mom and Dad already have their own business and they need a break from all this. Look…it does sound like a good idea to have a baby, even better with someone like you, but maybe later when we get our life settled and have a proper home for a baby, ok?

Oso: …Ok :)

Choro: …I love you.

Oso: Love you too, babe.

Choro: Babe?

anonymous asked:

2D obviously doesn't get much sleep, can you pretty please do one for a s/o who worries abt him and helps him sleep (and maybe punching muds in the face for trying to wake up the precious blue baby) ?

( ;v )

  • You had noticed that 2D didn’t get much sleep and it honestly worried you. You weren’t sure what would keep him awake at night.
  • To help him sleep, you made him lavender tea at night. He would fall asleep sometimes but sometimes it didn’t work.
  • Most of the time, you would hold him in your arms and stroke his head. He would become so relaxed that his mind drifts off and soon enough, he’s asleep in your arms.
  • Whenever 2D managed to sleep on his own, you made sure that nothing would bother him so he could get a healthy rest.
  • One day, Murdoc tried to interrupt his nap. You constantly told him to leave 2D alone but he kept trying to wake him so you punched his arm.
  • “I said NO.”
2

The cauldron arrived two days ago, and after an hour of scrubbing with salt, and four hours of curing with some remaining lard, this baby is looking good. It cut the shit out of my finger while I was scrubbing, so there’s definitely something to be said for the spirit within taking what belongs to them. It’s not completely ready, though. I need to do some more internal scrubbing and at least a few more curing sessions, but soon this phenomenal piece will be put to use on my brewing.

…you know…IF I CAN EVER FIND A SUITABLE STAND!!!!!!

Event: 100 Days Celebration since Lily’s birth

it’s already that time huh… Time went so quickly and little baby is growing up so fast! *CRIES

What is 100 day’s celebration?  It is old tradition to celebrate a baby’s arrival and introduce him/her to family and friends on either their 30 day or 100 day birthday.  
When does is start? 1st of July
How long will it last? Till 1st of August! ^W^
What I have to do to join? It’s simple! Just send me a message or ask that you want to join or simply reblog this post so I can see that you joined! OWO 
Do I need anything additional? Well… it would be great if you could attend in formal outfit, happy mood and maybe something for the baby! ^W^
What will I get from joining? Possibility to interact with other awesome muses and mun’s that you never had interacted before! OWO 
If my muse is England or Latvia, can I still join? Absolutely! OWO The more the merrier 

Event starts: 1st of July 
Event ends: 1st of August
Requirement: wear formal wear, smiles and good food! Just joking! 

All things related to this event - Please! Tag it under lily100 tag! Thank you!
Want to join? Reblog!

Hair Color

Out of all the fucking arguments that people can have about the finale, the babies being blonde is one of the stupidest.

Let me explain something: A lot of kids that are born blonde do not stay blonde. Around their teens their hair can change color to brown. Sometimes it even goes full on black.

Those babies being blonde is not the slightest bit unusual, especially as twins. What will most likely occur is that their hair will darken as they grow up.

Why do so many of you have to jump to the conclusions that are guaranteed to trigger your self-righteous anger? There are so many things to have a problem with in that finale, but people are going on about hair color.

What the hell?

anonymous asked:

"if you ever feel embarrassed just remember that in middle school I tried to convince myself that I wasn’t gay by making a compromise to myself to “only be gay at night”" You put trigger warning for slur ?? what's the slur?? sorry I'm a total baby gay I honestly didn't even know queer was a slur until recently... like if call myself gay n queer all the time.

one of the urls for the post had the word queer in it and I tag for that slur because although many people have reclaimed it and are totally comfortable with it there are others who are not and I have over 8000 followers so I do my best to tag general triggers

you can absolutely call yourself that if you want and have the right to reclaim it but not everybody is in that position and I want this blog to be safe for those people as well #q slur tw (I am on mobile and can’t tag, for blacklisting purposes)

anonymous asked:

Could you do hc's about Vincent or Rachell? (doesnt matter what kind)

                                                                                                                              Anonymous said: helloh, could you do Vincent or Rachel headcanons?            

anonymous asked: Yo, can you write Vincent HCs?

yall are thirsty for vincent xD

  • Rachel is one of those moms that defiently screams the loudest at every soccer games
  • meanwhile Vincent has never been seen by one, but insists he was there before getting all the teams mixed up
  • Vincent is also a very carefree person, he often forgets what he was doing and decides that “well I guess I’ll just chill here now” before remembering what he wanted to do 15 minutes later
  • “OH MY GOD I DID IT AGAIN”
    “did u leave the baby in the bathtub again”
    “Y E S”
    “oh gdi Vincent”
  • Rachel never stays mad for long, she just can’t
  • Vincent is the “take a fucking sip, babes” person while Rachel is the vodka aunt with halfassed advice that actually turns out to help
  • Rachel has mastered the sunglasses-looking-at-your-ass-but-you-don’t-know-that look
  • Vincent thinks dirty dirty thoughts out at a meeting and is never noticed
  • Rachel, with her hair infront of her face: “hey look I’m Samara”
  • Vincent is never to old to play pirates with kids and Rachel decides she’ll be the badass princess in distress
  • Rachel: “I’m cracking a cold one with the boys”
    Vincent: “why lol”
    Rachel: “I’m thirsty and need to get drunk”
  • Rachel is often seen passed out in chairs, while Vincent never gets enough sleep
  • Vincent reads a lot and has the plan to read the entire library
  • He managed it and then felt empty
Queen of Air and Darkness snippet

“I can’t do this.” Helen tried to keep her voice steady, but it was nearly impossible. She hoped the strain would be covered by the sound of the waves crashing below them, but Aline knew her too well. She could sense when Helen was upset, even when she was trying hard not to show it.

“Baby.” Aline moved closer, wrapping her arms around Helen, brushing her lips softly with her own. “You can. You can do anything.”

Helen relaxed into her wife’s arms. When she’d first met Aline she’d thought the other girl was taller than she was, but she’d realized later it was the way Aline held herself, arrow-straight. The Consul, her mother, held herself the same way, and with the same pride — not that either of them was arrogant, but the word seemed a shade closer to what Helen imagined than simple confidence. She remembered the first love note Aline had ever written her. The curves of your lips rewrite history. The world is changed because you are made of ivory and gold. Later, she’d found out it was an Oscar Wilde quote, and had said to Aline, smiling, You’ve got a lot of nerve.

Aline had looked back at her steadily. “I know. I do.”

They both had, always, and it had stood them in good stead. But this —

“This is different,” Helen said. “They don’t want me here –“

“They do want you here.”

“They barely know me,” Helen said. “That’s worse.”

4

Mark is happy where he is and enjoys what he likes best: rapping!

sometimes harry puts his hands on his hips

alternatively titled: The Reason I Don’t Sleep At Night

look at this u can see his nipple how iconic

wow baby! pop ya hip! 

How To Flirt With Older Men: a guide by Harry Styles

his lil face he’s so cute what a little enraged duckling

look at his tummy and nipples fhkjhffncmsne 

s a s s 

remember 1d day lol he was so done 

he rly looks like a frog here but he’s cute (even his hand looks similar to  frogs? bye)

i honestly dont even know what this is but he’s working the duck lips and that stance?? only the Best Models can master

iconic amazing spectacular wonderful beautiful 

this isnt even in HD but you can tell he’s doing his Creepy Frog Stare and it’s so adorable i love him

anyways this post is really short but i hope u enjoyed this bc look at him he knows what he’s doing