what books do

nicky forces neil to get a new phone and eventually neil makes an instagram and as he starts getting more followers he gets more comfortable with having social media and does 60 second Q&A’s with the team at the fans request

  • the first one he does is with kevin because of popular demand
  • neil does it on the court after night practice with kevin and he reads a few questions that exy fans have commented on his previous posts
  • ‘kevin, what are you a queen of besides exy? no I’ll answer this, the answer is nothing, kevin sucks”
  • “fuck off neil” kevin gets serious and the rest of the video is kevin extensively and aggressively talking about exy until the timer cuts off
  • he does dan next and it’s the cutest 60 second video out there okay dan is sitting next to matt on the couch while neil is filming
  • he asks her how it feels to be “the best female exy captain in the NCAA” dan gets the biggest smile on her face and scrunches up her nose before she answers
  • ‘oh that’s sweet, who wants to know? I like this person. It feels great! but it’s stressful at times, there is a lot of sexism in the world but I usually ignore it in favor of focusing on how lucky I am to have such a great team.”
  • matt’s looking at her while she’s talking and u can literally see the love and admiration in his eyes, fans are crying in the comments about how cute they are, so am I
  • when he does renee, most of the comments are asking about her hair so she explains how she dilutes the bright colors by mixing them with conditioner to make them more pastel
  • “but that’s the easy part, root upkeep is the worst tho, I hate touch ups.”
  • neil vaguely knows what she’s talking about cause he’ll sit in the room when andrew helps her with her hair
  • nicky manages to tell half his life story in 60 seconds
  • neil uploads a second video of nicky giving advice to queer kids afraid to come out because of strict and religious parents or unsafe home lives
  • aaron walks away when neil tries to do his so instead neil uploads a five second video that’s just him zooming in on aaron sitting in a beanbag chair playing video games “aaron’s a dick.”
  • matt gets asked about his boxing background and he beams at the chance to talk about his mom
  • “she’s so badass, she taught me everything I know, she could kick anyone’s ass” he points at the camera “she’ll kick your ass. better watch out”
  • allison gives fashion tips, she also roasts neil for how he dressed when he first joined the team “god u guys should have seen him, fucking awful. nicky and I fixed him up tho, but it took a lot of work cause neil likes to make things difficult” 
  • when neil gets to andrew nobody expects him to actually upload anything but when he does the results are hilarious
  • neil sits next to andrew with the camera frontfaced so half of neil’s face is in the frame, andrew is curled up on the couch with a pint of ice cream and his glasses on “it’s time for your interview andrew”
  • andrew just stares at him
  • “why didn’t you sign with the rav- wait that’s a stupid fucking question, we’re not doing that one. alright. how many times have you and aaron been mistaken for one another?” 
  • andrew stares at the camera in silence
  • “tragic. next question. how are you so good at blocking goals?
  • silence
  • “incredible. what is your honest opinion about kevin day?”
  • andrew stares for a couple seconds before rolling his eyes and getting up to walk away, neil laughs and nods “I agree” 
  • BONUS: andrew has neil’s phone while they’re on the roof, neil is holding his cigarette and andrew starts filming, pointing the camera so you can only see neil
  • “hey junkie, it’s your turn to be interviewed” “alright” 
  • “how does it feel to finally have a real home?” 
  • neil smiles softly, but he’s looking at andrew not the camera “like I’m finally living, like I’ve got everything I could ever want”
  • there’s a short pause before you can faintly hear “285%” and the video cuts off

The death of Finnick was, devastating…Him screaming in pain and then his last scream were he yells “Katniss” was the end of me.

Please fire me. I work at a small bookstore in an airport. Because of our limited space, we’re very strict about what titles we carry: we only keep books that sell. Sales are carefully monitored and if something isn’t selling at a sustainable rate, it’s pulled from the shelves.

One book we don’t sell is the Bible. We periodically have customers asking for a Bible, but aside from mild annoyance, they rarely make an issue when we inform them we don’t have any. However, I had a customer come in a few weeks ago and ask where we kept our Bibles.

“I’m sorry, we don’t carry any Bibles,” I told her.

“Why not?” she demanded.

“Our store is small and we don’t have the room for them,” I said.

“No room, huh?” she said. She pointed to a book on display called Ghost Bride. “But you have room for books on ghosts?”

“It’s one of our staff picks for the month.” It was my staff pick, actually. “If you’re interested, we do have a small religion section.”

She grumbled a bit, but let me take her to the shelf of religion books to browse. She returned to the register a few moments later with a used copy of A Purpose-Driven Life. I rang up her book and handed it to her, thanking her for her purchase. She lingered by the register, packing her book into her luggage, gathering up her bags, checking to make sure she had her boarding pass and ID.

Once she was all situated, she straightened, looked me in the eyes and announced, “I will PRAY for this store,” and swept out.

The next day I told this story to a coworker who’s been at our location for 7 years. After I’d finished the story (and he’d finished rolling his eyes), I said, “Why don’t we have any Bibles? Enough people ask for one, I’d think we’d be able to sell a copy or two.”

“We used to have Bibles,” he said, “but they barely sold. People would come in and ask for one, but not buy it. They were just checking to make sure we had them. I think we were being tested.”

  • I'm trying to write an essay, so obviously my brain goes nope instead
  • Neil: Andrew dance with me
  • Andrew: Ew no
  • Neil: Matt dance with me
  • Andrew: Move out of the way fucker