what are you doing to me kaner

  • Coach Q: So, Jonny, how long have you been sleeping with Patrick?
  • Jonny: What?! That's disgusting. And wrong. I don't even get--why would--I've never had sex with anyone, anywhere. It's none of your--you have--the nerve, the audacity. Patrick is my teammate, technically. And he's terrible, face wise. And how--how do I know, frankly, that you're not sleeping with him? Maybe you are. Maybe you're trying to throw me off. Hm? Check and mate.

anonymous asked:

hey so i have been looking every where for this kaner clip, i think he was in a gym with some buffalo friends and he was wearing black does this ring any bells with you or do you know where i can watch it?

Are you talking about the clip in this gifset —> (x) Because that’s what your description reminded me of. If that’s it, I’m not sure where the video is. Anyone?

So, @ttgg-hawks asked me to write down what Kaner said about Panarin in his WGN Radio interview, and I ended up transcribing pretty much the whole thing! Feel free to point out any mistakes guys, I tried to do my best but English is only my second language :)


Patrick Kane: Even After Three Stanley Cups We’re Not Satisfied Yet

Have you ever had more fun on the ice playing hockey than you’ve had this year?

Patrick: Yeah it’s been pretty fun. I almost feel like I need my Russian passport now to go over there and play with my two line mates. It’s been fun playing with Panarin and Anisimov, those guys want to do so well it brings out the best in yourself too. So it’s been fun so far this year.

Have you taken time to realize you’ve gotten old enough to be someone’s big brother and your little brother happens to be the goofy Russian kid who never stops smiling and scoring goals?

I never thought it was the case there. I think for a long time I was the youngest player on the team, I think my first five years. Now as the years pass I feel like a big time veteran I guess.

You’re the old guy now, dude!

You know it’s not a bad thing, it’s a good change and I like it. Especially when the young guys coming in bring in so much energy, it makes you wanna play hockey even more. So it’s been a good fit.

There was a point the other day when you got your first regular season hat trick, and Panarin had a breakaway, he did a little drop pass to you to try to get it before you actually got it later in the game. And I thought, ‘this is going to be one of those times when Panarin pretends he can’t speak English when Q reads him the riot act when he gets back to the bench. But you guys seem to know where each other is gonna be on the ice all the time, where is that coming from?

I think we just kinda play a similar style of game, we’re very similar players to start with, except he’s on a left wing and a right hand shot and I’m on a right wing and a left-handed shot. When you yell at him enough to pass you the puck he gets that in his head. I think we’ve developed some good chemistry. Even though we might have good games, you know after we score or have a good shift we always tell each other not to be satisfied and not to be happy and try to continue to push for more, so it’s been fun.

Well he was in here and and he taught us a few dirty words in Russian. We know he’s been learning more and more English throughout the year but how you guys have been communicating? Because I’m a lot of games and I don’t see the interpreter skating behind him. 

He knows more English than he lets on to be honest with you, I think he just doesn’t wanna do the interviews after the games where’s scored goals, like you said. I think it’s really not that hard, I think you almost have to talk to him and not really spell out everything, but just be patient with him and after a while he’s been understanding and I think his English has definitely gotten better since the first day, I would say a lot better, and it’s still improving too.

A couple of words words you’ve used: “energy, chemistry, there’s obviously a lot of talent”. Does their presence– Panarin, Anisimov and some of the other guys, make you guys more dangerous as team than you even were last year?

Yeah I think in ways, for sure. Like I said after a while when you get all these changes to your line-up, sometimes you bring in these new guys and they have the energy and force to try to do things that we’ve done in the past and make sure they’re a part of something special too. It kind of pushes us forward makes us want to do it with the new group and keep getting better. It’s been great, it’s awesome, these young guys come up and they have such an impact on the game, they push a lot of us to even enjoy the game more, to have more fun around the locker room, to have more fun on the ice, it brings the most out of the other guys as well.

It’s been a year of streaks: your point streak, the winning streak. What’s it like going to the rink every day when you’re on a hot streak like that?

I think it’s the same every day, even when we’re winning nine times, eleven games on a row, I don’t think we thought about it too much. It was probably that game in Nashville where we knew if we reached twelve in a row we were gonna break the franchise record, that’s probably when it got into our head a little bit. And when you win that many games in a row, you play that well for so long, sometimes there can be a little bit of a downfall like there was in Tampa and Florida, then we came back with a big win against St. Louis at home the other night.

But the thing is, the streak that you were on that’s being in the zone for a long time. Baseball players talk about how the ball looks bigger, basketball players talk about the hoop looks bigger. Does the net get bigger, does the game slow down? What does it feel like?

Sometimes you feel lucky, I had a few games there where I got some lucky points at the end. I think when the media starts talking about it, I think it was around maybe fourteen, fifteen games when they started talking about the American record at eighteen games, you wanna make sure you’re able to reach that.

It was making Eddie’s (Olczyk) hair fall out, when you got close to his record it was making his hair fall out, that’s when he went to the guy.

Eddie’s been great about it, he’s one of those guys that told me about his record even a few years past and said that it would be awesome if it was something I could do, so it was great to do that.

How great is that?

And once you get past that you start thinking about the franchise record, and it’s just a lot of attention that you just want to keep building it, keep continuing that on.

Andrea say hi to Kaner.
Andrea: Hey Kaner, I know fans see your camaraderie on the ice, but off the ice it’s great to watch as well. So my question to you: I know you’ve taken Panarin to some of your favorite places, but has he taken you for tea at the Russian tea room yet? Tea’s very big with the Russians.

No, but I’ve seen them in the locker room every day, they kinda sit there for about ten or fifteen minutes with their tea and their legs crossed , the two of them just *guy starts laughing so I don’t know what Patrick said* in Russian. It’s pretty funny, sometimes I go over there and kind of joke around with them and cross my legs and I just kinda laugh, who knows what they’re talking about and who they’re making fun of on the team. It’s pretty interesting to watch.

*Tries to speak Russian* That means 'stop by for some tea’ in Russian.

Oh ok. I know one phrase it’s 'davai, davai’, which means 'let’s go, let’s go’.

I hope it means 'let’s go’.
Anisimov told us that last week.
The thing is when Panarin was here you know he was giving us words that were filthy. By the way *tries to speak more Russian*.


When you scream 'puck’ does he know what you’re talking about?

Yeah I think he does, I just say 'pass to 88’ and he kinda figures it out.

And then he pretends he can’t hear you he just wants to shoot himself. Hey your first landlord in Chicago got some good news today, Stan Bowman’s contract was extended, no surprise. But I don’t know how many people realize, when you first came to town didn’t you live in his basement?

Yes, my first year I did. When I was eighteen years old, it was actually great, just to kind of get accumulated *he means acclimated* to the city and adjust to everything that the Blackhawks did and the way it was to be a professional hockey player. I really enjoyed my time there, it was fun spending time with his kids and his wife Sue, and they really took care of me when I was coming in from high school  and to the big league. I’ve got nothing but good things to say about Stan. He’s a guy that over the years with all the roster changes and different things we’ve had to make after Stanley Cup runs and long playoff runs, it seems like this team continues to win, he knows what he’s doing, he’s doing great things for the Blackhawks obviously, and congratulations to him.

It’s gotta be exciting to you to see him get an extension, Q gets the extension a couple of weeks ago, you and Tazer just in the first year of your new deal, Seabrook extended. You kind of have that confidence that these guys are gonna be around for a while, that you all are gonna be together and that you can keep this thing going.

I think it’s great, the more there is change the more things stay the same. It’s great for all of us, obviously we talk about that core group of guys that help lead our team on the ice, I think it’s the same thing off the ice for the organization too, you have those core guys, you wanna keep them around, you wanna keep them together because they’ve been successful and you know they’re not satisfied with what they’ve done. I think it’s great for the whole organization.

You’ve got your old buddy Steeger coming back with Carolina when the Hawks play Carolina tonight. If you do what everybody else does online and just reads the headlines, you’d think Steeger and Toews were having a fight, because Steeg said something about Toews being a big cry-baby. It’s just a joke, right?

Yeah I haven’t read that to be honest with you, I’m not sure exactly what he said, so I don’t wanna put any words in his mouth, but I’m sure coming from Steeger he’s joking around all the time.

He’s a knucklehead!

He likes to pick on guys and mess around, so I’m sure it’s nothing serious.

Of course not. We have a question from Cynthia Scott: 'any big adjustments needed since 3-on-3 came into the overtime, and do you prefer the old way or the new way?’

You know what the 3-on-3 is fun, it’s been a blast, I think it’s been one of the best changes that the NHL has made, a lot of open ice. I think sometimes I’ll be at home on tv watching hockey games and kinda looking around searching for a game that’s in overtime to watch that. I think the fans enjoy it, it’s exciting, it’s unpredictable what’s gonna happen, it’s been a great thing for the game.

And you are a captain for the All Star game coming up this weekend in Nashville, which is gonna be 3-on-3, what do you expect this weekend?

It’s a fun weekend. It’s a good way to celebrate the game, there’s really not that much to be tired about when you’re down there, it’s really a fun weekend.

But the 3-on-3 for the entire game, that’s a lot of skating. I mean Jaromir Jagr who I think is 79 years old asked people not to vote for him because he didn’t wanna skate that much.

Yeah, I mean it’s only a twenty minute game, I think there’s three different lines, it really won’t be that bad. I’m just excited I get to captain Tazer for once in my life, so it will be nice to boss him around a little bit.

Tell him where he’s gotta go. Well it’s great catching up with you man, congratulations on a just ridiculously good year. Stay healthy because there’s no end in sight. And one other thing Panarin taught us, I think this is clean *tries to speak Russian*. Which he said meant 'good luck’. I don’t know, I could have said anything to you, I apologize if I insulted you.

Yeah you know him as well as I do.

TW: Patrick Kane

When it was first reported that Patrick Kane was under investigation by the police, I was hoping it was just a simple assault or a drug-related charge.

How fucked up is that shit?

I have to sit here and HOPE that Kane JUST beat up someone or JUST got busted for coke or pot because he has been a fucking garbage heap of a human being for so long.

Yes, he’s innocent until proven guilty in a court of law. I get that. But what in the fuck has he done in his life for me to give him any sort of benefit of the doubt? Win three Stanley Cups? Oh, okay, right.

Like I told a friend of mine, Kaner is like that fuck-up cousin in your family that you have to keep bailing out of jail because no one else in the family wants anything to do with him anymore. And I’m done bailing his ass out of jail.

To all the lovely people who’ve been saying that Artemi Panarin doesn’t deserve to win the Calder trophy because he’s playing with Patrick Kane,

Have this thought ever crossed your mind that he deserves to win the Calder because he is playing with Kaner? It’s not that easy to play with Kaner because he’s very skillful and speedy. Do you know long it took him to finally find someone who complements his style? Besides Tazer, who’s a centre, he never found the right winger until Breadman. Have you ever thought how much Breadman’s having an impact on Kaner also? Maybe Kaner’s having a Hart and Art Ross trophies season because of Breadman. Don’t believe me? Here’s an example: When Hawks were playing against the Sharks, Breadman didn’t play because he had the flu. Guess what the score was? 2-0. They blanked us. So you see, he does have an impact on Kaner’s play, he’s not just riding on Kaner’s success. He has an influence on Patrick Kane too. The fact that most rookies usually debut from the third or fourth line and he started off playing in the second line speaks volumes about his skill. Oh another reason is because he played four years in KHL. Well guess what, no offence but playing NHL is much different than KHL. He had to adjust to the North American system of playing hockey. Do you know how many players from KHL came to NHL and struggled to adapt then ended up returning? Therefore, it’s not easy to play in the NHL. Look how quickly he assimilated himself. If that doesn’t make him worthy of Calder, I don’t know what is. Another factor that he’s 24 years old? Well guess what the rules clearly state that “ players could only be eligible if they were under 26 years old by September 15 of their rookie season.” Guess what: he fits in that description. In conclusion, Artemi Panarin deserves to win the Calder Memorial trophy as much as any rookie does because he is one. If you still think he doesn’t deserve it, well than I’ve nothing to say after this.
An educated, fair hockey fan