what are asari

5

Kallini: Ardat-Yakshi Monastery

HEY!!! you know what’s weird????? how the Asari at Kallini in ME3 dress the same as EVERY OTHER FUCKING ASARI IN THE GALAXY so i was like “thats dumb imma fix that”

so i did a lot of research about asari culture and religion and human cultures/religions where they have monastery’s and such so uh yeah

read about all the stuff i made!

tattoos

nuns

teachers

priestesses

what she says: I’m fine

what she means: humans and asari have very similar anatomical structures except for the asari’s pigmentation and head tentacles but otherwise their bodies are very similar. Asari are canonically known for their beauty and are underestimated because of this, despite being one of the most advanced species in the milky way galaxy. In all three games the majority of species working in the strip club bars have been asari and humans wearing very revealing clothes, in attendance are usually humans and turians, with the occasional krogan and batarian or vorcha. so it is safe to assume that, universally, most species are attracted to asari and humans. So why would Garrus insist that he doesn’t have a human fetish, especially after living in the citadel for so long, where that type of thing is socialized/ normal and acceptable? Even if he himself doesn’t like them, he should have been somewhat normalized to it just from hearing his co-workers talk

I’ve always assumed the Asari do not, in fact, resemble humans.

Considering every species in the galaxy finds the Asari attractive, but do not find humans attractive, I think the Asari project a psychic field, or as Mordin suggests a neurochemical scent,  that lets any observing alien see them as an attractive female member of their own species.  This seems beneficial to a race that grows stronger on cross-species breeding.

It also opens up a lot of fridge-horror on what the Asari ACTUALLY look like, and could suggest another reason why they find breeding with their own kind distasteful and taboo.

Give me Eldritch Horror Asari with Glamours like Fey. 

At some point this stopped being a joke and became an actual thing.  Hold on to your pants tumblr, I present to you: The Kirkmall.


If you don’t know wtf this is, please refer to bettydice and Cafe Au Love (f!hawke/fenris) fic series:

LOVE IS A HAM SMOKED WITH THE FUME OF SIGHS

BONUS: THAT TIME FENRIS THREW HAM AT A PIGEON

Hot Coffee Shop/Video Game Girl AU

What could possibly go wrong.

I wonder what Asari education is like. How long do they spend in school? What age do they start going? What’s considered a kindergarten level education? A college level education? How much do they focus on Asari history vs. Galactic history? Are there separate courses on each of the council species? What about the other species? How do they do trade schools? What about colony kids and spacer kids? What’s it like having a teacher who’s been alive for centuries? Is there an equivalent of Greek life on college campuses? What are the parties like?