what am i going to do with this boy

anonymous asked:

I'm so afraid...I'm feel transgender but I'm way to afraid to admit it! I feel ashamed! What should I do! I hate what I am now and I really want to be a boy!

Seems like you just admitted it.
You are who you are and as much as you try to hide from that, the longer you’re going to be unhappy.
You should be more afraid of not being who you truly are.
I was so unhappy when I was hiding my true self and since I came out I feel the happiest I’ve ever been.
I know it’s scary, but it’s also going to be the greatest thing that has ever happen to you if you let it. Good luck 😊

anonymous asked:

Girl, what am I to tell me what I gotta do 연락 연락 한녹아 내리는 날 알 잖아 넌 넌 Girl, what am i to you 보고 더 더 어하라구 하라구 좋은 사람 이고 만 싶진 않은데 이젠 이젠

go to my ask and paste the last thing you copied and send it to me without any explanation

i’m guessing its kpop? lmao i don’t really listen to kpop i don’t really know

i watched nigahiga’s last kpop video tho lol it’s actually catchy

i know as a feminist im supposed to always say that feminism is there to help men too. that the toxic masculinity they’re taught at birth is a burden for us all and that they go through things too. and i get that. i really do and i really do feel for men who have to live their lives feeling like they can’t fully express themselves or their emotions. i am heart broken by the way society raises our boys to suppress suppress suppress. but you know what? at the end of the day, it’s the women who are at the receiving end of their shortcomings. the violence and emotional abuse rooted in hypermasculnity are projected on us and we bear the brunt of it. so excuse me if it’s not really on the top of my list to help men feel like they can cry. 

someone: oh my god were you CRYING???

me, not even 4 minutes after a full on breakdown: 

2

#Helsinkihandhold <3

Straight White Boy Problem #987

last time I smoked weed (two years ago lol) I got really existential while listening to Childish Gambino when i was at Ryan’s house and i took a couple hits and was like what the hell am I going to do with my life? Am I going to find my soulmate some day? Do my friends actually value my feelings and do they value me for who I am or are friends just using me for their own gain? Is it okay to root for the New England Patriots even though I’m not from New England? All these questions were going through my mind and I was breaking down. I didn’t know what was going on I didn’t know I had all of these pent up emotions that were being brought out. I was scared. I wanted to talk about my dilemnas with Ryan but the last time i tried that, he made fun of me I need to start letting myself feel emotions rather than smoke my troubles away. So I quit weed. Granted, I still hang out with Ryan but it’s just not the same bc I dont smoke anymore :/

Dear you,
You showed me the loveliest parts of you, the most vulnerable ones. Ones you’ve probably only shown the truest people in your life. I’m glad I was once one of those people. I learned from you what it means to give your all to someone. What it means to plant your seeds inside someone, to watch them bloom. I learned what true pain it could be when you watch the winter roll over and the flowers inside of you begin to wilt. Most of all, I learned what it meant to be in love. I learned the kind of person I am when I become truly engrossed in someone, and what the word regret means. I do not regret falling in love with you, I do not regret the memories we will forever share, but I regret letting you go. I still love you, I always will.
Sincerely,
The girl you once loved.
—  A Letter To The Boy I Once Loved
(via sunnflowerso)

ngl I am low-key worried about Rogue One, but only because my boy Darth Vader is in it, and idk what incarnation of Vader they are going to use.

Filoni!Vader: yEAHHHHHHH!!! i am PUMPED to be on the DARK SIDE man I LOVE KILLING REBELS! *flies a tie-fighter with the Force so his cape can billow while he stands menacingly under a spotlight* I’m angry all of the time and I’m like OBSESSED with killing Obi-Wan! *chugs a Red Bull through his vents* WHO WANTS TO GO NEXT?

Lucas!Vader: high-key wanna die if any of you rebels could do that for me i’d appreciate it. *slaughters thousands of rebels effortlessly* come on man did you even try. damn this self-preservation instinct of mine. *sees obi-wan* HELL YEAH I’M GONNA DIE I CAN’T WAIT! *kills obi-wan in one swing* what.

Comics!Vader: *doesn’t say anything, but if he does it’s going to be one badass line like “ALL I’M SURROUNDED BY IS FEAR AND DEAD MEN”* *has a lot of flashbacks to the time when he had hair* *is sad a lot* *surrounded by quirky fun characters because this is anakin skywalker we are talking about*

Talking Comes in Handy

He knows he rambles when he’s hurt, he knows its annoying just till he knows his team is ok then he can ask for a hand.

He comes to with a gasp and a pained groan. Something was wrong, something was very very wrong.  “Whoo boy that was a rough landing am I right? But guess who stuck the landing, your ace pilot Lance” His heart is thudding in his chest, face sticky with what he knows isn’t sweat. And his arm… “Hold your applause, I know how good I am” 

He’s rambling he knows but if he stops talking “Hunk, hey buddy you good? C’mon let me hear your voice babe” “-ance.” Hunk’s voice crackles in his ear and he lets out a sigh of relief only to be cut short by a pain in his side. “There he is, Looks like I’m not the only Ace Pilot Pidge over here is probably on our heels isn’t that right Pidge.” There’s silence  and a cold fear cuts through him. “-hut up Lance.” 

His body goes boneless with relief “There she is, And Keith my main man how are you holding up?” “Shut the fuck up Lance” “Nice to hear your voice buddy. Now I know that you’re all ok, I really need help-” “Shiro’s hurt!”

I love how in the first Avengers, Steve basically asks Tony what would he be without ‘suit’. Tony’s response is, of course, “Genius, Billionaire, Playboy, Philanthropist.”

Essentially, under the armor, he had more armor. Things to hide behind long before he was ever trapped in a cave with a box of scraps. He hid behind his intellect, his money, his intimacy issues, and his need to be useful to hide that broken little boy from the big bad world. 

Update on top surgery, probably not getting surgery until next year which has really had an impact on my dysphoria and depression.

But that just means I have time to get my body in the best shape possible, KT tape has now saved me from binding and has made day to day life easier.

Happy with where I am currently however I want more so that’s what I’m going to go do.

  • Me, who has never read Ava's Demon: why do these people have storage rooms in their torsos
✨Dangerous Woman✨

Song Imagine

Author: Joi A. Wade

Requested: Yes,  (Maybe a combo of both??) Based off of Dangerous Woman by Ariana Grande, the reader is tired of Pan always being on top. She wants to test her limits, she doesn’t want permission. (..So basically she is top and Pan bottoms..) She is in charge of her sexual desires, not just there to fulfill Pan’s. The reader is a witch that pan is in constant competition with. She and Oan are always at ends with desire and anger ensuring,,,forced to work together and feelings ensure but neither will accept it

Warnings: Swearing | 18+ content | Long | smut 

Note: Gifs made by me. 


Don’t need permission
Made my decision to test my limits
‘Cause it’s my business, God as my witness
Start what I finished

“What am I going to do with you, love? You injured six to ten of my lost boys, stole from us, set fire to the camp…” He paced around the cage, arms behind his back as the she watched his every move with a smirk. “I just might have to kill you, darling.”

“You won’t kill me, Pan.”

“Oh? And what makes you say that?”

“You would have done it by now, instead of interrogating me. Am I correct?” She raised her eyebrow in a smug way, seeing his frustration starting to build up in his face. With a quick lick to his lips, he made his way closer to the cage, no expression on his face whatsoever. 

“You do realize where you are and who I am?”

“I’m very aware. I just don’t care.”

“Why are you so goddamn irritating?” He growled, his hands gripping the bars so tight she could see the whites of his knuckles. Y/n only smirked deeper, getting as close to him as she possibly could. 

“Because. It’s adorable when you’re angry. How you act so strong and intimidating, and shit. Like, you really expect me to be scared of you.”

"Hm. Expect? No. You should be. And if you need reminding of that, sweetheart…then so be it.” 

Don’t need no hold up
Taking control of this kind of moment
I’m locked and loaded
Completely focused, my mind is open

Y/n scoffs in his face, turning the other cheek as she pretended she didn’t know where he was going with this. Sighing deeply, she returns her gaze back to his now deep green eyes, sneering his own words right back at him.

“Let’s play.” 

All that you got, skin to skin, oh my God
Don’t ya stop, boy

Pinned to the wall of his tent, rough and passionate kisses were exchanged between then two. Clothes were scattered all over the room, soft breaths and low growls the only sounds being heard. This was how every argument ended, how every teasing moment would come to; neither one would complain, or admit that this is what both of them lived for everyday. No, not just the sex (even though it’s a bonus) but it was the intense atmosphere the both of them fed off of, the little games they played with each other. 

Pan would never admit it, but he actually had feelings for this girl. Her dominance, her arrogance, everything about her was intoxicating. The same goes for her, only deeper. She loved toying with the lost boy since day one, everything about him she wanted. She needed. But, Y/n hated being controlled, and that’s not a good thing when you live on the island of an egomaniac, sadistic bastard who loves control, fear and agony. 

“Who do you belong to, love,” He would purr in her ear, thrusting at a speed that was inhuman, his hands holding onto her thighs so tight that the bruising he left would be brutal in the morning. 

Y/n chuckles breathlessly, raking her fingers through his hair. “Not you.” 

This only made him angry, his eyes getting darker to where the green was barely visible. He hoisted her legs higher, spreading them wider to where he hit that one spot that made her beg for more. Slowing down and going deeper, he watched as her eyes closed tightly, mouth hanging open slightly, while her moans increased. Pan wrapped one hand around her throat, pulling her in closer to where their lips brushed against each other, and their groans mixed together. 

“I’ll ask again,” He growls, making sure to hit that very spot each time, grinning at every reaction he got from her. “Who..do you..belong to?” 

Y/n opened up her eyes, staring at him with such a stare that could paralyze him right on the spot. And that’s exactly what she did. Halting his thrusts completely, Y/n had him under her hypnotic stare that she learned over the years, dark magic being another thing that drew the two of them together. 

Next thing Pan knew, he was laying down on his bed, with Y/n straddling his waist, a look of pure seduction upon her face. He didn’t move, even though he could, he just chose not to. She’s done this trick before, it’s one of his favorites; whenever he pushed her too far is when the night got even better. 

Y/n placed her hands onto his shoulders, slowly swaying her hips from side to side, grinding herself onto him. Pan bit his lip hard, holding onto her hips, trying to guide her movements, only for them to be smacked away. 

“Don’t touch me. Don’t move. Don’t do shit. Just lay there, like a good boy. You come before me, injured lost boys and setting your camp on fire will be the least of your problems.”

“Wouldn’t want it any other way-fuck!” He exclaims, as they finally connected once again, riding him at a steady pace. Cursing under his breath, and clawing at the bed, Pan’s eyes were shut tight at the intense pleasure he was receiving. Y/n’s moans were groaning higher and faster, as the new angle they were in was hitting every spot and nerve deliciously; leaving long scratches down his chest only increased the burning sensation at the pit of his stomach, his member throbbing like crazy, begging for release. And if not being able to let go wasn’t frustrating enough, Y/n slowing down the pace definitely was. 

“No, love, please…” He begged, never in his life believing that it would to come to that. Y/n only smirked down at the boy, watching as his hips bucked upward, hitting her in the right way every time. Y/n leans downward to moan in his ear softly after every hip thrust he gave, practically making his head spin. 

Nothing to prove and
I’m bulletproof and
Know what I’m doing
The way we’re movin’ like introducing
Us to a new thing

“Shit, Peter, I’m close…” She whimpered, enough to push him to the brink of no control. This was the first time, in all the times they’ve messes around, that she called him by his first name. 

Unable to hold back any longer, he grabs her hips roughly before she could protest, and flips the positions. Pinning her down to the bed, his animalistic thrusts returned with Y/n wrapping her arms around him for dear life; moans and squeals spilled from her mouth like a waterfall while he chants her name like a prayer. 

He whispers unholy things into her ear, biting the said area roughly while keeping his pace fast and deep. Now with her scratching down his back, he had to fight to keep his release at bay, while trying to chase hers. It was as if they were both holding on, neither of them wanting to give up so easily. Putting up a fight, Y/n flips the positions back to what they were before, riding him as fast as she can with her head tilted back in pure bliss. Pan watches her in awe at how hard she’s trying to make him release first, not wanting to be the weak one in this situation. But, he could also see how badly she wanted release, tears starting to stream down her face in desperation. 

Gripping onto her hips one last time, Pan thrusts himself into her sharply, pivoting his hips in an angle that sent Y/n’s eyes to the back of her head and her toes to curl. Repeatedly doing that motion, while whispering encouragements to her breathlessly was more than enough to send Y/n beyond the edge. Arching her back and letting out a large and long scream of pleasure, Y/n finally was able to let go. Her pulsating walls had the same effect on him, as she kept thrusting to ride out her orgasm, his hips stuttered with his release coming fast and abrupt. 

“Oh, my fucking-!” He chokes on his words, his back arching off the bed as his euphoria finally hit. Pan came in long, hot spurts that painted Y/n from the inside, leaving a warm feeling deep inside her. Catching their breaths, glistening with sweat, and the smell of sex surrounding them…it was as if they were in their own little sick heaven. 

I wanna savor, save it for later
The taste of flavor, 'cause I’m a taker
'Cause I’m a giver, it’s only nature
I live for danger

As they were finally calming down, sitting in silence and still connected as one, this was the time where they would just sit and…stare. Watch each other, and just memorize one another’s features. This was a time where they weren’t at each other’s throats, where everything is calm and quite…

Y/n leaned downward to the boy, an exhausted look upon her face, while his wore nothing but a content smile. Keeping the intense eye contact for a little longer, Y/n pulled off him swiftly, wincing slightly at the emptiness she felt afterwards. Sitting up on the bed, she ran a hand through her hair, calming down from earlier activities. 

“Why do we keep doing this, Pan?” She rasped, sighing heavily as he sat up as well. Looking at the back of her head in confusion, he shrugged. 

“Because it’s fun. Satisfying.”

“But, we do this all the time, and go right back to hating each other. I’m starting to grow bored…” 

“I don’t think I ever asked for your opinion, I don’t care if you’re bored.” That was a lie. Inside, he was terrified of her being ‘bored’. What did that mean? Did it mean she was bored with him? Would she move on to someone else? He wouldn’t let that happen, not if he had any say in it. Turning her head toward him, the anger was evident on her face after he said what he said. Quickly, but carefully standing from the bed, she starts to collect her things, ready to leave. 

Like always. 

“Where are you going?” He asked, slowly starting to panic at how fast she’s trying to leave. Usually she would stay a little longer…what’s different now?

“I’m a fool to think that for once you would think of me. To think that maybe instead of these childish games, you would be a man and actually move past this useless bickering and bullshit. But, who am I kidding? We can never be anything but enemies, who fuck each other after every fight.” She snapped while getting dressed, not daring to make eye contact with him. Standing as well, Pan watched her with wide eyes, and mouth hanging open for a moment. He didn’t really know how to respond.

Finally finding the words, he spoke. “Wait, love. Don’t go. I…I do think of us as more…many, many times. I hate having the only way to talk you is by yelling, screaming, and constant headaches. You’re a bitch, of course, but…you’re a bad bitch. You’re a dangerous woman. And I love that about you, so much, darling. I wouldn’t trade you for anything else in the world. I love you.” 

Y/n continued to get dressed, before turning to look at the boy one last time. That angry scowl still colored her face as she glared darkly at his naked form, suddenly disgusted. “You can’t even respond to me. Pathetic.” 

His eyes widened as he realized he didn’t actually speak those words out loud. Pan only imagined himself speaking such words to her, but didn’t dare to utter any of it. He was too cold, too proud of his dark ways, such as an emotion as ‘love’ had no room in his brain, nor his heart. He’s been hating for far too long, cursed to possibly never be loved. 

All girls wanna be like that
Bad girls underneath, like that
You know how I’m feeling inside
Somethin’ 'bout, somethin’ 'bout

Shaking her head, Y/n looks at the ground, shame starting to fill her from the inside. “These late nights that we’ve been sharing are over. From now on, I refuse to be played with, like some cheap sex toy, Pan.”

“Love-”

“I’m done wasting time playing these games with you. To think you were ever a challenge is what really baffles me.” He bites his tongue, while staring back at her in shock. Hurt and offended, he verbally growls at her, that anger starting to boil up from inside him again. On the inside, Y/n was beating herself up. She couldn’t stand making him angrier with her than he already was. The only way she knows how to talk to him would to just provoke him. It’s not her fault, it’s just how she was. Maybe it was for the best…

“Fine. If that’s what you want…prepare to be hunted down by my lost boys, like the filthy animal you are.” He spoke with bared teeth, fist clenched, as his soft green eyes returned to their piercing color from before. Rolling her eyes, Y/n only scoffs at his words, taking out one of the knives from her holster and pointing it in his direction. 

“Prepare to lose more of your lost boys.”

Pan started to stride closer to her, nostrils flared as he threatened. “I will make sure that they show no mercy to you when they catch you. That pretty face of yours won’t be pretty no longer.”

“Aw, then what will you masturbate to at night?” Y/n spat right back, also getting closer and closer to the boy. The last comment left Pan speechless, but it didn’t stop him from throwing another comeback. 

“There are other girls in the world, love. You can be replaced.”

“Can I?” Her eyes flickered downward for a split second, the sight she saw bringing a delightful glint into her eyes, as her smirk grew deeper. “Good luck finding one that can excite you as much as I can, just by using sarcasm.” 

Pan blushed slightly, looking anywhere but at her. Waving his hand, his lower half was covered again by his trousers, but the tent in them was still noticeable. Chuckling slightly, Y/n took a few more steps closer to the boy, to where she close enough to wrap her arms around his neck lazily. He wanted to push her away, but they both knew he couldn’t. 

“Face it, Pan. I weaken you. And you love it.” 

“I thought you were leaving. I recall you being done with my games. So go on, then. I’m not stopping you.” This only made Y/n chuckle more, as she grabbed his jaw to turn his attention right back to her. 

“I’m not hearing you deny it.” Leaning in slightly, she brushed her lips onto his for only a moment, sighing heavily in the process. “I hate that you can make me feel conflicted, Peter Pan. I want to leave, and just throw you out of my mind…but we both know that’s far from possible now. We’re in too deep.” 

Without realizing what he was doing, he had pulled her in closely, kissing her deeply but as softly as he could. Afraid that he might not get the chance, he was going to make sure that this kiss was memorable. Pulling away slowly, Y/n couldn’t hold back the little whine that escaped passed her lips one his were no longer there. Coming back to earth, she pulls away from him fully, seeing the mischief in his eyes, but the evident scowl on his face. 

“Get out. I suggest you start running. The hunt starts at dawn, which mean you have less than an hour to hide.” He crosses his arms, watching as she cracks her neck, grinning at the boy, while he fought not to grin right back. Already knowing where this was going and how it would end up, the both of them ended on the same page. 

“Let’s play.” 

somethin’ 'bout you.

A lot of theories have been made for the “I’m just a boy from Cuba” comment and at this point if it’s not langst I’m gonna be disappointed. Anyway, here’s multiple ideas for how this could go!

-What if he’s talking about how great the team is (like he did with the yupper) and then he says it (in Spanish) and the team assumes he was bragging about himself and so they say something rude about how he doesn’t know when to shut up. He knows that they didn’t know what he said but it still hurt, and he now doesn’t believe anyone cares about him because no one noticed his tone and how he was nearly crying at the words

-what if he says it and someone knows Spanish but doesn’t say anything because Lance still seems happy, but later they notice just how much Lance actually puts himself down. But they think he’s still fine because he’s still happy and don’t do anything. Lance figures out that they know from the concerned glances, and believes since they never said anything, they must hate him and agree

-Someone hears him say it and believes it’s a good thing and says it back to him “and you’re (just a boy from cuba), right?” And Lance smiles but he’s dying inside

-and for the sake of feeling better, maybe it’ll be like Sokka (from atla)’s quote, “I’m just a guy with a boomerang. I didn’t ask for all this flying and magic!” But for Lance “I’m just a boy from Cuba. I didn’t ask for all this fighting and aliens!”

Or something like that, I don’t know

What I love most about a lot of my favorite bands is their origin stories.

Panic! At The Disco:

“I am a high schooler and I am literally just going to annoy Pete Wentz over the Internet until he notices me.” 

Cobra Starship:

“I’m in a successful punk rock band that everyone likes so I’m obviously going to just quit doing that, smoke a bunch of peyote with some Native Americans, and sing dance pop.” 

My Chemical Romance:

“I graduated art school and have finally landed my dream job at Cartoon Network, so I’m obviously going to just quit doing that and sing about vampires.”

Fall Out Boy: 

“A pretentious teen wearing socks with sandals just interrupted my conversation to tell me I got music trivia wrong. I am going to make my entire life about him singing with me.” 

Twenty One Pilots: 

“I was in a band but literally everyone quit except me. But oh hey one other dude just showed up, so this still counts as a band, right?” 

Humans are weird prompt

With all the Humans are Weird going on, isn’t a possible outcome of explaining to aliens about i dunno- tv shows? i mean, it’d be pretty interesting, take all those people fangirl/boying over shows such as Hannibal. The aliens would be all confused like ‘What? but human Kate, i am unable to comprehend this. Aren’t these characters titled Will and Hannibal in mutual hatred with each other? Why do you love their relationship so?’ Cuz they have this mindset that humans are all about love, flufiness and rainbows of the sort and Hannibal is just dark af.

And the human just screeches as though in hyseria- goes like “NO YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND ITS LoVE THE SHIP SAiLS ITSELF YOU DoNT UNderRSTanD!!!” and the human just has something the alien interpreted as (very dangerous and rare) murder in his or her eyes and just scurries away liek what wht they are eating their own kin wtf and this hannibal is displaying corpses in public- its a form of love???? heartbreak??? 

Lance: Wait… Guys what are we gonna do when Katie gets her period?

Hunk and Keith: ?

Lance: I mean she’s 14 so technically it might not happen for another two years but we don’t know how long this is gonna take! What if Alteans don’t have anything similar and Allura doesn’t-

Hunk: I think you’re misunderstanding something here?

Keith: Yeah she’s not going to-

Katie, from the other room: I have a dick Lance.

Lance: …?

Lance: OH! Oh okay that’s why you pretended to be a boy at- oh okay nevermind crisis averted why am I always the last to know these things guys come on.

I just gotta say, the “beautiful” concept that they’re going with is done so well. Like it’s such an easy idea to screw up seeing as so many people have different ideas of what’s beautiful? I’m just so proud of starship for portraying it across so well and not feeling like each of the boys pics had to look the same. I feel like it just shows an overall maturing of they way they think and I honestly think this comeback will be amazing and unlike anything else they’ve done before.

Historical figures playing Mario kart!
  • Hamilton: Get the f*ck out of the way Jefferson!!!!!!
  • Jefferson: No way! I'm going to be in first place forever! HAHAHAHAHA
  • Washington: How do you play! Someone help me.
  • Eliza: Why do I have to be in last place?
  • Angelica: MOVE OVER BOYS I WILL SHOW YOU HOW ITS DONE!!
  • Burr: This is stupid!
  • Laurens: YOU'RE STUPID
  • Lafayette: Guys calm down it's just a game!
  • Hamilton: it's a game, ITS JUST A GAME! LAFAYETTE HOW DARE YOU SAY THAT!!!!
  • King George: HA BEAT YOU ALL!!!!!