what am i even doing with that background

TEN THINGS AN AUTISTIC PERSON WANTS YOU TO KNOW

1) I am autistic. There is nowhere that I end and autism begins.

2) Ordinary sights, sounds or touches may be difficult or painful for me. Please be understanding if I ask you to turn the volume down, turn the light off, or not to touch me without warning.

3) If I didn’t catch what you said, it may not be because I’m not listening. I sometimes have trouble processing spoken language, especially when there is background noise.

4) I like routines because I know what to expect. It’s best to not spring surprises on me.

5) Don’t ask me, “Everybody else can do X, so why can’t you?” I am not like “everybody else.” I may not even be like other autistic people.

6) I may have difficulty asking for what I need due to difficulties getting the words out or even just due to anxiety. I don’t mind if you ask me if I need something; just don’t do it every five minutes.

7) I learn better when I can learn MY way. Most people do, even those who aren’t autistic.

8) Just because I’m not making eye contact doesn’t mean I’m not paying attention.

9) Just because I’m autistic doesn’t mean I don’t want to have friends. However, I’m an introvert, and I need time alone to recharge.

10) Ask me about my special interest, but be prepared for a monologue.

Casting Glamours

What is a glamour?

Stemming from the old Scots word, a “glamour” (always spelt with the British “ou”, as we are referring to the spell not the trait) is a kind of magickal spell or enchantment that a person casts upon an object, a person, or themselves to confuse, bewitch or obscure the senses of other observers. For instance, a pickpocket may use glamours as a means of assisting in the avoidance of detection, and a secret Witch may use a glamour to hide their spell supplies. Glamours are also one of the primary spells that the Fae Folk use to hide their presence, and also to make mischief and cause harm to intrusive or blundering humans who offend them. 


Why have I never heard of this before?!

Probably because it’s not very flashy and, by its very nature, it’s centred around concealment. Glamours are very powerful, very useful spells, but they don’t involve love or money or luck or happiness and so they tend to be overlooked by most novice or self-taught Witches. They’re also quite hard to perfect, and so many more experienced Witches give up before they have mastered them.

They are simultaneously very simple spells to perform, but very difficult to perfect, as they require significant effort of Will and a lot of practice but if you achieve a true glamour it can be one of the most powerful spells in any Witch’s arsenal. It’s also worth noting, however, that glamours do not conceal things from machines. Machines like metal detectors, security cameras and proximity detectors don’t have minds, and as such they cannot be fooled by magick that affects the mind and how the brain perceives senses. They also work poorly on animals, especially cats. Do not try to fool a cat with a glamour. Dogs are often confused by glamours, but generally see through them with time, and snakes and lizards are completely immune as far as I can tell (since their minds are not concerned with things that glamours affect).


OK, but how do I cast a glamour?

The first step is, as with all spells, to decide to do it. Decide “I am going to cast a glamour”. Know it in your soul, know that what you will do is magick, it is a glamour, and that it’s purpose is to hide yourself. Glamours on yourself are generally the easiest to start with, because they are the easiest kind with which to tell when something needs improving. 

Secondly, you must visualise strongly - and I mean REALLY strongly, let it consume your being - the purpose of the glamour. Fill yourself with the knowledge how how it will work, what it will do, how it will work. If you are looking for a glamour of imperception, whereby you attempt to make yourself hard to see by convincing the minds of people around you that you are utterly uninteresting and forgettable, fill yourself with that. Let to complete and utter truth of that ring through your head; 

“I am forgettable, I’m not even here. You don’t remember me, I’m utterly boring, I’m just another part of the background. Everything about me is empty and dull. There is nothing here”

And similar such truths. Let your Willpower make them true, let their truth fill the world around you through the strength of your visualisation.

Thirdly, sustain it. This is the hardest step, but a glamour will only last for as long as it is sustained and remembered. If you are visualising a glamour on something that moves or changes (such as yourself) this can involve literally constant reinforcement - never ever stop thinking those reinforcing statements and pouring all your Willpower into them. For objects that are more static, for instance a chest containing spell supplies, this can simply involve a period of refreshment every evening whereby you place your hands upon it and refresh the enchantment you’ve placed upon the chest, reminding it of how completely ignorable and boring it is, reminding it that nobody will open it because nobody will care enough to try, that nobody will notice it because it’s so dull it’s not even there. 


That seems REALLY hard, is there a simpler way?

The short answer is, no. This is why glamours are often quite unpopular - despite their obvious power and usefulness, the sheer effort of Will that goes into the construction of a glamour, and the amount of practice you need to get really good, can scare off a lot of Witches from truly persisting. Those who need glamours are often the only ones who are really any good at them - the best glamour-caster I have ever known developed her skill during her life as a pickpocket, when she used glamours to avoid getting caught. The simple fact that she has no criminal record attests to their efficacy! But, it took her a very long time to get that good, and most Witches simply don’t care enough to try.

However, I urge you to do so! It’s such a rewarding skill, even if only so that you can be the undisputed champion of paintball and laser tag in your friend group because nobody ever sees you in the shadows. 

So there you are! The ancient, powerful, and mostly-overlooked art of glamours! I hope this helped all you lovely Witches!

– Juniper Wildwalk

Juvia isn’t a stalker

This is an old, very frustrating argument for Gruvia fans that shouldn’t even exist anymore. This post also shouldn’t exist because I am refuting something Juvia didn’t actually do, but this is what it’s come down to, sadly. The bottom line is that Juvia can not redeem herself for an issue that Mashima-sensei, the author, doesn’t believe exists (aka the non-existent stalking).

I. The amount of times Juvia watched Gray and why

Juvia did not stalk Gray EVER, but she did hang in the background. He and the guild had been the enemy. If she had walked right up to Gray and his friends, there would have been a backlash. It’s natural that she was afraid because of the damage she helped inflict. Despite this, she formed an affinity to Gray and Fairy Tail which she carefully approached to the best of her ability.

As it also shows in her memories, Juvia had a well-established history of being shunned because of her rain which further led to her tentative approach. Additionally, given the rejection and shunning of the past, Juvia lacked the developmental opportunity to refine social engagement. There was no malicious intent in her actions. She was afraid of being rejected again, so she kept her distance. 

And in fact, Juvia and Gajeel’s presence in Fairy Tail DID cause a backlash. Laxus and the Raijinshuu did get angry when they found out two former Phantom Lord members who had attacked the guild were allowed to join.

Yet, both Juvia and Gajeel made up for their former transgressions already against the specific members they had targeted by protecting them. Juvia protected Gray from Simon, and Gajeel protected Levy from Laxus. That was supposed to be their redemption…IT WAS THEIR REDEMPTION. As stated in the first paragraph, in bold this time: Juvia can not redeem herself for an issue that Mashima-sensei, the author, doesn’t believe exists (aka the non-existent stalking). 

Ultimately, Juvia did approach Gray when he was by himself to ask what he thought about her joining Fairy Tail.  This was their first direct meeting after they met in Chapter 56. Indirect encounters include chapter 67 where she observed from afar and delivered a bento and chapter 75 where we see her watching Gray and the rest of team Natsu at the resort.

It was at this point that Juvia approached Gray properly when she finally caught him alone, and they went to get drinks together. It’s supported by the manga that Juvia joining Fairy Tail would have caused a backlash, as even Gray was wary of her joining because of the things that they did, but he personally did not mind her joining.  Juvia then spent the rest of the arc openly helping Gray and his friends in the Tower Of Heaven. 

At the end of the arc, when Erza asked after Juvia, Gray was the one who knew her name, and where she had gone. Once team Natsu returned to FT, Juvia became a member, and Gray was quite happy about it. After chapter 75 Juvia has never in the manga followed Gray without his knowledge again until chapter 416, where she came to apologize for what happened to Gray’s father. 

When Gray seemed dismayed that Juvia had followed him to his parents grave, she immediately apologized

In fact, Juvia has apologized a few times within the series when she thought she upset Gray, including in 413 Days when she apologized for fearing that she ruined Gray’s day of mourning. But, in fact, Gray ended up also apologizing to her, because he thought it was his fault. He profusely apologized to her in chapter 416 as well while sobbing in her arms.

II. Gray’s feelings

If Gray was so uncomfortable and disliked Juvia’s presence, the above scene would not have happened. He appreciates and is grateful for Juvia always being next to him, which by default completely annihilates the claim that he is disgusted by her. This is obvious because we see the change in their relationship throughout the course of the manga, on panel. I repeat, Gray likes the fact that Juvia is always by his side and wants her there.

Furthermore, Juvia’s comedic advances and Gray’s reactions (which have actually become softer/changed) are exaggerated on purpose. Japanese love this type of humor use in their mangas. It’s meant to be lighthearted, not give off an awful message regarding a pairing. As with many shounen, panel space is often limited for character interactions, so “dramatic” presentations are necessary for conveying points. Mashima-sensei has only ever portrayed Juvia’s love as a positive thing for both characters. Her love for Gray has saved not just Gray’s life, but also the lives of others on multiple occasions. 

While it’s true Mashima-sensei loves using Juvia for comic relief from time to time, it’s important to not let the jokes outweigh the serious moments. In reality, we are not supposed to put so much stock into comedy. Adding to the fact that Juvia’s fight with Meredy proved her love for Gray to be genuine, there’s another factor some people seem to miss.  

In the final chapter of the Tartarus arc, Juvia was about to give up on her love for Gray because she believed she did not have the right to love him anymore. She truly thought it was for his sake, and was prepared to be hated by Gray forever. An obsessive person or crazy stalker would never do this. But Juvia did, expecting this would ruin any chance she had with Gray, and was positive she would be loathed. However she knew confessing what she did was the right thing to do and came clean. Here, Mashima-sensei is showing the difference between an unhealthy obsessed individual and someone who’s love is selfless as they put the other person’s feelings above their own. Above all, Gray didn’t let Juvia give up on him. He embraced her, thanked her, and cried in her arms.

Chapter 499 speaks for itself, so I really don’t see the need to touch upon it other than the fact that the Japanese raw text confirms that Gray does see Juvia as more than a friend, aka, a love interest. As if his actions in the chapter and prior to weren’t enough. Double suicide in Japan is one of the most romantic acts of love based on samurai history.

III. The definition of a stalker

  • a person who harasses or persecutes someone with unwanted and obsessive attention.
  • a person who harasses another person, as a former lover, a famous person, etc., in an aggressive, often threatening and illegal manner.

Neither of the above definitions describes Juvia’s character. Juvia would be the last person in the world to harass or threaten Gray in any way. The two times she watched him were harmless and there were justified reasons behind them. Back to the definition; Juvia doesn’t need to do any of these things, because she is Gray’s friend, and at this point, so much more than that. She’s a partner, they go on missions together, socialize together, and have even lived together. 

Real cases for stalking often involve the stalker having control over their victim, sometimes employing fear in a desperate attempt to maintain control, which Juvia has NEVER done. Admiring someone from afar is not the same as stalking them, especially when you don’t have the courage to talk to them. That’s why Juvia quickly threw the bento in Gray’s hands without trying to be noticed. She wanted to do nice things for him, but couldn’t do them directly out of nervousness. That’s not what stalkers do. And of course, as stated above, Juvia was about to give up on Gray. Stalkers aren’t willing to give up their ties with the person.

Juvia does not need to “stalk” Gray. She stands proudly by his side with no reluctance from him.

And even more importantly Gray has never expressed any adversity to Juvia’s presence. If anything, he has expressed the opposite. Gray of his own accord hangs around her. And Gray had mentioned once in 338 that he would say no to the things he dislikes from then on. Yet he had never said no before, nor after that statement. In fact, he contradicted his own statement later on by eating the bread Juvia offered him, and holding her hand in comfort during the Tartarus arc.  

We also have to keep in mind Gray falls under the tsundere character trope, which means his actions often contradict his words, and as stated above, his adverse reactions are often played off comedically, because he is not being honest about his actual feelings. Juvia’s earnest feelings towards Gray usually cause the cool and collected character to lose his composure. That’s the joke. 

IV. Conclusion

Juvia is often labeled a stalker while we look past Gajeel crucifying Levy or Jellal trying to murder Erza. All of these things occurred at the beginning, but have ceased to be current habits. That’s character development. It’s one thing to not like a ship because of the dynamic. But it’s a double standard to hail the development of one ship and ignore another. People simply cannot move passed Juvia’s first impression, and that is sad.

Every pairing has its shtick, such as Natsu touching Lucy inappropriately and breaking into her house, and Levy hitting Gajeel often. Humor is completely subjective, that’s true, however it’s obvious what Mashima-sensei intends to fall under the umbrella of humor, and that absolutely includes Juvia’s antics and Gray’s reactions to them. Saying they aren’t meant to be funny is just being purposely oblivious and contrary. You don’t have to think it’s funny to know it’s meant as a joke. Gruvia gets condemned by the fandom the most when it comes to their particular aspect of humor, and that is unfair. 

This is a fictional world, they are fictional characters, and they do not have to meet real life standards. Many of the characters within Fairy Tail have quirks or perform actions that are not acceptable in reality. Fairy Tail itself is a fantasy manga. The world and the characters are exaggerated for the purpose of drama and comedy. This fantasy world is also based on Japanese humor and storytelling conventions, and ignoring this fact can lead to misunderstanding characters. 

Juvia has not watched Gray from a distance without his knowledge since before she joined Fairy Tail. That was at least 8-9 years ago in both our timeline and the manga time line (counting the 7 year time skip). No one in the Fairy Tail universe, nor Mashima-sensei, seem to think Juvia’s actions from her introduction need to be addressed or redeemed, because it is a non-issue that only certain parts of the fandom can’t let go of. She will not vocally apologize for a problem that doesn’t exist. 

Gray, especially, has gone so far passed his initial relationship and dynamic with Juvia. It’s sad that so many fans are concerned on Gray’s behalf, but never truly take Gray’s actual feelings or words into consideration. He cares for Juvia, he almost definitely loves Juvia romantically, and he is grateful she is by his side. He’s willing to go above and beyond, including sacrificing his life for her (twice) just to ensure her safety. Those are not the feelings of someone who is a victim of stalking. 

The Adventures of Sutha, the Half-Orc Bard

A little context: my little brother DMs and 3 of 4 of my campaigns I’ve played are with him. Our dad and step mom expressed interest in trying D&D, so he and I gave them the introduction to playing. I have an undying love for Druids, but I decided to try something new this time. Insert my pure-shenanigans character, Sutha the Half-Orc Barbarian. Low intelligence, lower wisdom, high charisma and constitution. My proposal of this character was “They love music, but are not the greatest player. For whatever reason though, people love it.” Cue our introduction:

DM: So, you are all in a tavern in the evening. Why has each of your characters chosen to be there, and what are they doing?

Dad (the blue dragonborn ranger): I’m looking for someone. I am sitting in a dark corner watching everyone.

Stepmom (elf druid with the sage background): I’m in the city looking for knowledge, and stop by the tavern. I settle at the bar.

Me: I am of course, standing on a table, playing a song on my harp, singing along– I should mention, Sutha cannot sing– and when i finish each song, I down a pint of ale, and begin anew. There is a steadily growing pile of empty tankards around my feet.

DM: How big are you? How much do they weigh?

Me: uhhh… 200lbs, and 6ft 7.

DM: Roll to see if the table holds your weight.

*rolls a 17*

DM: Well, okay then. It is rocking back and forth a lot, but seems to be holding. Roll constitution to see how well you hold your liquor.

*rolls a 15+ 3*

DM: Theres a dozen or so tankards at your feet, and you’re slightly buzzed, but otherwise are fine.

I’m trying to let our parents take it upon themselves to push the introductions, let them find reasons for us to all interact, encouraging them to start roleplaying. I’m using my ridiculous character to make them laugh and get rid of any nervousness. It’s going slowly, my step mom is very quiet, but my dads getting right into character and playing around with voices. Finally, after about 5 minutes of awkward bumbling, I decide to try and give them an opening.

Me: At this point, my table breaks under me.

DM: *Smiling* roll dex saving throw.

Me: * rolls 18+3*

We all laugh.

DM: the table splits clean down the middle, the tankards land all upright, and you land on your feet on top of them.

Me: I look down in shock, and then cheer loudly over the hushed silence, arms raised in the air. I down another pint and start a new song.

Eventually the DM intervened, inserting an NPC who drags us on a quest. I tried, anyways.

Badly

Jungkook x reader

theme:Jungkook and you always had tension between and one time he comes out of the shower and you are in the room…so things get a little steamy

requested by: taetaesbooty

genre: smut

word count: 5.5K


“I’m so excited!“Jimin said suddenly.

Everyone else agreed but you.
“I would be equally excited if I wasn’t fucking suffocating between these two.“you grunted trying to make yourself more room.

“Y/N no swearing!“Hoseok scolded you at what you just rolled your eyes.

Currently you were sitting in a car, struggling between Hoseok and Taehyung, while Yoongi was driving, Jimin sitting in the seat next to him.

“I just don’t understand why I couldn’t go in the other car? There would be room for everyone!“you said, still fighting elbows with Taehyung.

“Because I want my sister to be with me in the car!“Hoseok exclaimed.

Keep reading

Poor Ciao Ciao…

The song in question.

I’ve had this in my head since reading chapter 8. I cannot really art, and what even are your eyebrows, Cestino?  but I had to get it out of my system, and it wouldn’t have worked as a text post or chat.

I’ve finally depleted my stock of stupid posts about UMFB&MHA, at least until Sunday. Welp. So soon. Am I even ready?

Drabble prompts! Send one of these and a ship :)

  1. “Oh go sit on a a cactus.”
  2. “The president needs me to do what?”
  3. “Do you even own a shirt?!”
  4. “Was I suppose to be impressed?”
  5. “How am I suppose to be calm at a time like this?”
  6. “Everything is awful and nothing matters.”
  7. “I forgot how much I hate you.”
  8. “Everyone knows the 90s were the epitome of high fashion.” 
  9. “Is that a dragon?”
  10. “Why is the bathtub full of gold fish?”
  11. “You call that a pizza?”
  12. “Stop complaining at least you only broke one leg?” “YOU BROKE MY LEG!” “I said I was sorry.”
  13. “Did you run a background check on me?”
  14. “How was I supposed to know there was someone in the trunk? I was just stealing the car not trying to kidnap you!”
  15. “Are you saying you don’t accept my rose?”
  16. “What do you mean you don’t know who Batman is?”
  17. “Are you trying to psychoanalyze me?” “Well I did take a psych class in college.”
  18. “Just go to sleep.”
  19. “You can’t sing and dance your way our of every problem, this isn’t a musical.”
  20. “If you frown any harder your face will stay like that.”
  21. “You’ve always been trouble.”
  22. “I heard you singing Taylor Swift in the shower this morning, are you okay?”
  23. “I’d tell you to go to hell, but I never want to see you again.”
  24. “I can’t understand a word you’re saying.”
  25. “What are you, a vampire or something?”
  26. “According to US Weekly we’re married.”
  27. “Don’t leave me alone with him, he’s got a murder-y face.”
  28. “You said you were good at baseball!”
  29. “Did you steal someone’s cat?”
  30. “I need a favor.”
  31. “Stop being such a baby.”
  32. “Who said I hate you?”
  33. “You’re not a 1920s mobster, stop acting like you are.”
  34. “Regina George would be impressed with you.”
  35. “Are you crying because we ran out of pizza?”
  36. “Wow she’s way better than you, does that make you feel bad?”
  37. “I bet you ten dollars you won’t kiss me.”
  38. “If you don’t hurry up all the good fruit will be gone.”
  39. “Since when do you have a stand at the farmers market?”
  40. “Did you actually carve that?”
  41. “I can’t get up there are three dogs on my lap.”
  42. “My dad mailed me all my old yearbooks, I never noticed that you were in ever picture with me.”
  43. “Stop playing games.”
  44. “It’s 2 AM, why are you here?”
  45. “… Where are your pants?”
  46. “Please don’t give me a ticket, my dad will kill me!”
  47. “How’d you get here so fast? Can you teleport?”
  48. “Is that my shirt?”
  49. “Are you an undercover cop or something?”
  50. “I’m not a pirate I’m a privateer.”
  51.  “Well my mom thinks I’m special.” 
  52. “I… I think I love you.”
  53. “Make that bird stop chirping, I’m trying to sleep.”
  54. “Stop running away!” “Then stop trying to protect me!”
  55. “Are you… are you growling at me?”
  56. “Look I was suppose to take my sister to the Ed Sheeran concert but she ditched me, want to go with me instead?”
  57. "You look really familiar, do I know you?” “I think we matched on Tinder a few months back.”
  58. “You brood more than Bruce Wayne.”
  59. “We’re closed.”
  60. “Shit! I forgot your birthday didn’t I?”
  61. “Just go with it.”
  62. “I need a favor, and not the sexual kind.”
  63. “Wow amazing, it’s like you’re trying to be an asshat.”
  64. “Your pickup lines weren’t cute in high school, they definitely aren’t cute now.”
  65. “Why did someone just tell me that they ship us?”
  66. “How many seasons did you watch today?”
  67. “If you make one more stupid pun, I will actually stab you.”
  68. “Never do stupid shit alone, always do it with a friend.”
  69. “Stop laughing every time the announcer says 69.”
  70. “You look good in green.”
  71. “You can’t come here and only eat the free samples.”
  72. “I’ve never lost in a bake off.”
  73. “I wrote you a song.”
  74. “It’s been 10 years how do you still look so good?”
  75. “Don’t you dare bite me, I’m mad at you!”
A Critique for myself

I just deleted some drawings of my blog (yeah, like 12 or 13 posts,, im sorry abt that,) But I know what to do abt it, to try to not do it again (but I know I will eventually delete more drawings from my blog as long as i keep noticing things I dont like abt my art)

Even tho I left some of the recent drawings, I notice that theyre not as good as Id like them to be,, but as an artist, I have now th ability of knowing What I dont like about my art, so Here I am with a little list of what to change to keep growing as an artist, but keeping the things I love about my current style:

  1. Draw Backgrounds, dont just stay with the simple grey background youre currently using,, CREATE A SCENE for the character to be in, and remember that the background has to match the style of the character, bc if it doesnt match, it looks UGLY, or WRONG, and that is not ok. You can look at refs for that, it might be difficult to learn, but it will be SO WORTH IT, 
  2. Draw DIFFERENT EXPRESSIONS for the lov e of goku,, EXAGERATE!! DRAW UGLY EXPRESSIONS!! MAKE THE DRAWING LOOK AS EXPRESSIVE AS YOU CAN!! you can Always look for tips and tutorials, and references, theres no way you can learn this by yourself, look at your current art, If you havent learnt that by yourself already, it means that you ACTUALLY NEED references,, and thats not bad in any way, theyre necessary and Good.
  3. DRAW DIFFERENT PERSPECTIVES,, this one sounds TOO complicated, but it is not impossibleto learn abt it,, Stop drawing just the front view of the character, theres so many other perspectives to draw a character!! theres a lot of possibilities,, dont just stay inside of your comfort zone, thats lazy,,
  4. CHOSE ONE COLOR SCHEME AND STICK WITH IT. dont use ALL of the colors of the fucking rainbow to make one art piece, you should just choose TWO OR THREE base colors and then make all the other colors match with those base colors… Basically, read those color guides Gato showed you 2 years ago, that you actually didnt read. They will help you a LOT.
  5. use R E F E R E N C E S,, and tutorials and tips from artists who know better abt these topics,, and KEEP RECIEVING CRITIQUE from other ppl (i AM recieving critique gracefully, but not really as much as Id like to, but anyways, yeah)

im gonna do research to find tutorials and refs that help ME with these, and im gonna link them in this post, but these are the 5 things I gotta do to feel better abt my art

On the complexity of words in our racialized and colonialized world, and my own liminality...

TW: Discussion of the term “g*psy,” which I know may be a triggering word to some of my American followers in particular. I’ve done my best to tag this. Let me know if I’ve left something out.

So I need to talk about this. I really don’t want to because I feel like I’m going to be attacked for doing so. But this is my life in a super literal way, and I am taking time to process all this, with my cultural background, and my personal history, and my non-belonginess, and all the other super heavy baggage I have, and my society has, with this word and this way of life.

I’ve seen the occasional post on here talking about the culture on Tumblr of sometimes oversimplifying their activism and not understanding the full breadth of certain issues, and I’m kicking myself for it even as I type, but… today I’d like to address the international complexity of the term “gypsy.” Specifically, its use in the UK.

(Oh god, what am I doing sticking my foot in this hornet’s nest…)

All I ask is that you really just read this before you rip my head off, yeah? Please. I need to talk about this.

That word does not mean the same thing here that it means in the US, where I come from.

In America, it’s a pretty negative word to a lot of people of any degree of social consciousness. In America, that word is associated almost exclusively with the Romani people, an extremely marginalized group of POC who’ve been subject to every type of violence in existence, up to and including genocide. It is almost always used as either a slur, or an ignorantly appropriative capitalist tool. They’re the only well-known group of nomadic people Americans are familiar with in relatively modern times (since most nomadic Natives were killed or had their seasonal routes cut off long ago), and naturally, it has therefore remained a very racialized term in America. As a general rule, all nomadic peoples known to Americans are POC who have suffered genocide, sometimes to the point of extinction.

It’s fucking heavy. And that is what my brain still emotionally understands, when I hear that word. I’ve felt, and feel, that ickiness listening to someone use that word carelessly, or as if it were a trendy aesthetic™. This post is hard to write, because I have to use it.

So, Americans, I get this. ‘K? Me too. And Brits, if you’ve ever wondered why this strikes such a chord with Americans, that’s why, and this might be some handy knowledge for you to have when traveling to the US: “gypsy” is not a nice word in the US, and “Traveller” isn’t a term most Americans will recognize. We don’t have any legislation protecting Traveller rights, the way you do (inadequate as they may be). If you want to refer to the Romani, use Romani. If you want to refer to Travellers as a diverse group, use “nomadic people.”

But now I live in the UK. In the UK, “gypsy” is a government-official term, and people refer to themselves and others by this term routinely. And most confusingly, to my American sensibilities, it has little to do with your ethnicity. Even ethnic gypsies are most frequently white British, in the UK (the UK has its own native nomadic populations, especially from Ireland and Scotland). But there are also non-ethnic gypsies. It’s a term that refers more to your mode of living than to your race.

My gypsy neighbors are Irish, English, and Romani. The Irish Travellers and Romani obviously have an ethnic history of nomadism. But the ethnically English do not. He’s a Traveller, legally speaking, and part of larger gypsy society. And here, that is legally and culturally legitimate. He isn’t considered an ethnic minority, the way ethnic Travellers are, but culturally has a home under both terms.

There are other slurs in the UK for Travellers, of course. And there are also people who talk about them in a racist way (*cough* Tories *cough*). If I were to draw a comparison to American linguistics, “gypsy” in the UK is much like “queer” in America. It is simultaneously a neutral and inclusive word, and a word which is often found in the mouth of bigots. It has a complex history that has both highs and lows.

I still prefer to use Traveller, because I’m American and “gypsy” leaves a weird taste in my mouth. But that only works in writing, where it is capitalized. In speech, that term could just as easily mean kids on a gap year, and it isn’t useful for specifying nomadic people. So in speech… the word everyone uses is “gypsy.” This word which gives me the willies is now a normal part of my life. It is hard for me to get used to that. But also, apprehensively positive. What a wonderful community this is. It isn’t any stupid stereotypes. I mean, the dude a couple caravans down from me is a graphic designer. It’s just a really solid community of people who are just… really wonderful.

So… this is a major part of my existence right now. Please remember that Tumblr is an international community. Not everyone you see using that word is a racist throwing out a slur. Some of them aren’t even referring to the Romani. If they’re British, they’re probably more likely to be referring to the Irish, or to people of diverse or unknown ethnic backgrounds.

It may also be something I start talking about more often, because this is now my life. I live on wheels, in a mostly Traveller community. Legally, I’m a “New Traveller” (and the idea of referring to myself that way sends off a degree of appropriative heebjeebies that’s just unbelievable, but that is the fact of the matter). That is, I would be if anyone knew I was here. But the way these things are interacting for me, and how simultaneously uncomfortable and necessary it is to learn about them given my cultural background, means that it is something that is likely to come up. Something I will need to talk about. A consuming part of my life at the moment.

These people have taken me in, in a very real way that pretty much makes me cry when I think about it. They’ve fed me, and kept me warm, and helped me keep this hell shed from tipping over. They’ve gifted me things for my craft – the part of my life this blog is about. I don’t want to avoid talking about them as they talk about themselves, or understanding the way my self-perception is changing as this is happening, for fear I’ll be mistaken for an asshole. It feels like hiding who they proudly are, because the culture I come from has a different history than they do. I don’t live in that culture anymore, and probably never will again. I need to find some way of reconciling the dissonance with the way my life is now.

I don’t think any of this takes away from the complexity of that term. And to all you goddamn Nazis, don’t you dare take this as a reason why it’s ok to fucking harass the Romani, or I swear I will hex the shit out of you. And since the UK tends to follow American trends, I wouldn’t be surprised if that term eventually goes out of vogue.

But today, it is a very different word from its American counterpart, which is essential for me to fully understand in the context of both my own life, and my experience of adopting my new culture as an immigrant. And I want people to understand where I and other people in Britain are coming from when we talk about it. And I feel a need to be understood in my own life right now.

So… This was probably unwise. I’ll take my blows I guess. I’m just reaching into the dark and hoping I’ll find some understanding. This is very much part of what kind of witch I’m becoming, and more broadly, what kind of human I’m becoming.

anonymous asked:

scooby doo ep where a background object clearly shaded differently from the rest, yet left ignored and untouched, instead an object indistinguishable from the rest of the background being used. a chase where the gang come out of the same doors they came in. daphne falls into a trap mid-episode, and nobody acknowledges it, talking as if she's still there. pulling the mask off the bad guy, and there's nothing underneath. vhs glitches near-constantly, even beyond the tv, on the edges of your vision

Carl the Animator: “That… ok, that’s freaky.”

Ted the Animator:’Was I sleeping, while the others suffered? Am I sleeping now? Tomorrow, when I wake, or think I do, what shall I say of today?’

Carl the Animator: “…huh?”

Ted the Animator: ‘That with Carl my friend, at this place, until the fall of night, I waited for Scooby-Doo errors?’

Carl the Animator: “…I don’t….”

Ted the Animator: ‘That fans passed, with their messages, and that they spoke to us? Probably. But in all that, what truth will there be?’

Carl the Animator: “What are you even– what’s going on?”

Ted the Animator: ‘He’ll know nothing. He’ll tell me of the weird faces he drew, and I’ll give him a carrot.’

Carl the Animator: “Ted, you’re freaking me out.”

Ted the Animator: ‘Astride of a grave, and a difficult birth. Down in the hole, lingeringly, the gravedigger puts on the forceps. We have time to grow old. The air is full of our cries… but habit is a great d–’

Carl the Animator: “TED!”

Ted the Animator: “What?! Relax, I’m doing Waiting for Godot, that message reminded me of it.”

Carl the Animator: “I don’t know what that is, but it’s weirdin’ me out, so stop.”

Ted the Animator: “It’s a Beckett play, and that was all a rather clever paraphrasing of Vladimir’s monologue, if you ask me.”

Carl the Animator: “I didn’t ask you. I did, however, ask you to stop, if that’s any consolation.”

Ted the Animator: “Come on, everyone likes a good post-war existential tragicomedy now and then.”

Carl the Animator: ”…this is why we don’t let you do PR for the show, Ted.”

I...just...what?

Sherlock made a quick call to Angelo’s. From the level of noise I could hear in the background the place must be packed. Yet he managed to get them a table.

Now they are both getting ready to go out. John even went upstairs to put on a nice shirt. (Sherlock was already wearing one, otherwise I am sure he would have done the same). I think I can even smell a hint of aftershave.

I don’t believe this. Am I the only self-reflective person in this room? Has everyone else lost their collective minds?

I mean…LOOK AT THIS!

Originally posted by twocandles

What do they even THINK they are doing? I just…I mean…HOW do they justify this kind of behaviour to themselves? How…I just can’t.

Originally posted by twocandles

No one can be this blind. Right?

I think John just had the same thought when he found Sherlock looking at him. He quickly averted his eyes and cleared his throat and he hasn’t stopped fiddling with his tie ever since.

J: You know what, this is ridiculous.

He is looking at a spot on the carpet now, hand going up to scratch his head in what can only be described as bashfulness.

S: What is?

J: This!

He gestures at his own appearance and shakes his head.

J: You know what? I’ll be back in a second. I’m just gonna get changed.

Sherlock looks utterly bewildered.

S: But you just did.

J: I…I know, just, I’ll be back a minute.

S: But…

John is already up the steps before Sherlock can get another word out.

S: But I liked the shirt…

Someone save me and them from themselves.

ER JEG SEN? [AM I LATE?] Translation

[TEXT MESSAGE]

MUM: Join the theme night in mosque on Friday, about the women’s role in Islam
SANA: Is Jamilla coming?
MUM: [reprimanding] Sana
MUM: I don’t think so
SANA I’m in ❤️

ISAK (BACKGROUND): We gotta celebrate
EVEN: Yeah, yeah, yeah. With sparkling drink
ISAK: Sparkling drink?
EVEN: Isn’t that how to celebrate?
ISAK: But I want beer, though. I want beer.

EVEN: Oh, now you’re here!
SANA: Am I late?
ISAK: We’re done
SANA: Oh nooo. Sorry, I messed up, I took the tram in the wrong direction, and…
MAHDI: Yeah, I’ve heard that one before
ISAK: Took the tram in the wrong direction?
MAHDI: Took the tram in the wrong direction
JONAS (TO SANA): YOU?
MAHDI: Yeah that’s what I use to do when I can’t be bothered to show up to stuff
ISAK: But, then you can come along with Even and I and help us unpack. That takes time.
SANA: That sounds like a lot of fun, but I’m super busy. Are the girls upstairs?
ISAK: Go ahead
MAGNUS: Sana, can you tell Vilde that I miss her. Already.
JONAS: What
MAGNUS: What I meant is that you gotta tell them you miss them, so they go like “aww”
EVEN: It’s just like that with girls
ISAK: You are cute together
MAGNUS: Cuter than you two

VILDE: No, I prefer– No, there’s something with that ocean blue colour that’s
EVA: Ocean blue?
VILDE: Ocean blue
CHRIS: Is it like royal blue, or? Is it blue?
NOORA: No, royal blue is like that sweater–
VILDE: It’s like, Marbella Beach
EVA: Marbella Beach?
VILDE: Yeah, that’s how the beach looks in Marbella
NOORA: Have you been there a lot, or?
SANA: Halla!
EVERYONE: HEY!!
SANA: What’s up?
EVA: Noora got her room back!
VILDE: But what I was saying was that, er,
EVA: Pizza?
VILDE (BACKGROUND): We tried a new position, which was-
EVA: We have one with beef as well
SANA: Thanks
VILDE: Which is like, I’m sitting on top of him, just like cow girl. But I reverse– it’s reverse cow girl. So then he sits– It’s a little bit uncomfortable at first, because I felt like he could se straight up– Because his head is, like, on – Well, if we did it right– And that was so incredibly good, because it hit something, that– it hit the g-spot.
CHRIS: No… isn’t the g-spot on the upper side?
VILDE: No, I’ve heard that the g-spot is in the anus
EVA: Isn’t that with boys?
CHRIS: What?
VILDE: There’s pretty many ways– you have multiple g-spots.
VILDE: But, anyway, the thing is, I have never had it that good with anyone before. I have never come as much as I do when I’m with Magnus. It’s just like I’m coming, and coming, and coming, and coming–
SANA: Do you have, like, no boundaries? For what is okay to share?
VILDE: How do you mean?
SANA: Do you really have to share every detail of you guys’ sex life?
VILDE: I get that it’s tough for you to listen to, since you can’t have sex
SANA: I CAN have sex, Vilde. I just choose not to have it.
VILDE: Yeah, I’m just saying that it’s okay if you get sexually frustrated.
SANA: I’m not sexually frustrated! It’s not like I walk around thinking a lot about boys and sex and… feel as if I’m missing out on something!
SANA: I just mean that sex should be something nice between you and Magnus… and not the whole world

NOORA: Would anyone like some tea?
VILDE, EVA, CHRIS: Yeah!
NOORA: Then we’ll fix that right away

EVA: Okay… I gotta say something, but I don’t know for sure if it’s true, but I’ve heard that William has a new girlfriend in London
VILDE: What? Are you for real?
EVA: Chris said so. Should I tell her?
SANA: Of course you should tell her
EVA: But… shouldn’t William be the one to tell her?
SANA: Uh, yeah. But he clearly hasn’t done it.
EVA: But then, I don’t know for sure that it’s true. And I still don’t get the thing between William and Noora. Are they, like, together or not?

NOORA: What’s up? What are you talking about?
VILDE: Anal sex. Magnus and I were thinking of trying it.
VILDE: Have you tried it?
NOORA: … No.
VILDE: No, you and William, you didn’t–
EVA: Vilde!
NOORA: No.
EVA: Speaking of William, how is he doing?
Noora: …Fine
CHRIS: We have never really understood the deal… Like if you’re together, or… not, or… not, or?
NOORA: It’s always going to be me and William

Updated Skincare Routine: Winter 2017

Morning:

  1. Pre-Cleanse: Dermalogica Pre-Cleanse Oil
  2. Cleanse: Micellar Cleansing Water or Cosrx Good Morning Gel Cleanser
  3. Tone: Scinic All Day Fine Pore Toner
  4. Chemical Exfolation: Cosrx Blackhead Power Liquid (AHA)
  5. Serum: Innisfree Green Tea Seed Serum
  6. Sun Protection: Dermalogica Solar Defense Booster SPF 50
  7. Moisturize: J. One Jelly Pack or Mac Strobe Cream
  8. Eye Cream: Skinfood Salmon Brightening Eye Cream


Evening:

  1. Makeup Remover: Banila Co Clean It Zero Purity/Makeup Wipes
  2. Double Cleanse: Innisfree Jeju Volcanic Pore Cleansing Foam
  3. Tone: Scinic All Day Fine Pore Toner
  4. Chemical Exfoliation: Cosrx One Step Pimple Clear Pad (BHA)
  5. Serum: Innisfree Green Tea Seed Serum
  6. Ampoule/Essence: Secret Key Multi Cell Night Repair Ampoule
  7. Treatment Serum: Dermalogica Overnight Clearing Gel
  8. Emulsion: Tonymoly Tea Tree Sebum & Pore Lotion
  9. Moisturize: Tarte Maracuja Oil or Elmaju Cactus Aqua Cream
  10. Eye Cream: Skinfood Salmon Brightening Eye Cream


Weekly: Night Masks (so as not to over hydrate my skin)

  • Clinique Turnaround Overnight Radiance Moisturizer
  • Sheet Masks

Twice a Week: Exfoliation

  • Milky Dress Oasis Peeling Gel
  • Neogen Bio-Peel Gauze Peeling Lemon Pads

If I over exfoliate my skin gets red and starts to dry out.


Notes & Common Questions

1. Do you do this EVERY DAY?

In short, yes. While I used to just do a basic cleanse, tone, and moisturize, I have noticed a huge turnaround in the moisture and health of my skin since expanding the steps I take. If I am particularly lazy (which happens every once in a while) I will downgrade my evening steps to cleanse, tone, serum, and moisturizer but this only happens rarely. When I started expanding my steps, it was a chore but now it feels weird if I don’t do each step, and it’s as routine as brushing my teeth before bed. Let me put it this way, when I had invasive gallbladder surgery, I still forced myself out of bed to hobble over to my sink to do my skincare — I’m a freak, I know.

2. I’M TOO POOR TO DO THIS. YOU MUST BE RICH?!

Haha…no – not. at. all. if you are serious about upping your game there are plenty of drugstore priced brands you can choose from, and I typically get mine from Ebay, Amazon, or beauty subscription boxes that allow me to use higher end samples of great products. I certainly haven’t just gone out and bought 80 products at one time — instead I focused on developing a regimen that I added to over the last year and a half. One product at a time until I found something that worked for me.

3. WHAT IS YOUR SKIN TYPE/AGE/CONCERNS??

I’m a 31 year old woman with combination skin (oilier t-zone and dryer perimeter) and am prone to redness, hyper pigmentation, uneven texture and the occasional breakout. If you have severely acne-prone skin, you really should consider seeing a dermatologist. I have no background in skincare so I am not at all qualified to recommend products for a chronic condition. I can only speak for my own skin condition.

4. WHY DO YOU DO SO MANY STEPS??

This is the Korean method, and there can be even more steps than the ones that I do. Since the goal is to maintain skin health, I feel it’s important to spend as much time on my skin as I do on applying my makeup. So if I don’t apply makeup, I don’t tend to do every step. Once you reach your mid-twenties you can start to notice considerable changes in the way your skin operates and what may have become acceptable before (cleansing and moisturizing) naturally would need more steps if your skin is aging. At 31, I am lucky to have very little permanent damage to my skin and almost no fine lines or wrinkles yet. The key for me is prevention – I refuse to spend $300 on some wrinkle repair cream because I chose to ignore my skin until I turned 45.

There are a lot of information that can be found online and Youtube is a great place to find recommendations. Here are a few that I suggest:

  • The Beauty Breakdown
  • Glow Recipe
  • Lia Yoo
  • Nadine Baggott
  • Wishtrend TV
  • Caroline Hirons
  • Gothamista
  • Edward Avila
  • Joan Kim
  • Soko Glam

If you ever have any questions about this let me know. Do you have a favorite product that you love using?


Originally posted by teenvogue

i?? literally?? can’t?? believe?? what?? we?? saw?? today?? isak and even making out on the windowsill. isak being so fucking confident. SO THIRSTY. oh boy. i still can’t believe how much this guy grew up. he went from “that doesn’t mean i am gay”, “i’m not gay. well, maybe a little gay”, from being ashamed of kissing even in public to making out in a classroom at!! school!! my son!! like literally someone could have entered the classroom at any moment but he wouldn’t give a shit! he noticed sana coming and still!! he continued kissing his boyfriend like it’s fucking normal for him now. and also all of this was so pure? you know when at high school you have a boyfriend/girlfriend and you just want to skip classes and kiss in the hallway during the breaks or something alike. and the background convo, tho? they just can’t quit each other. they need each other so bad. in every moment. they are so in love with one another it makes me cry. isak literally can’t do anything when even’s there! just! being! even! even! himself! i am so glad isak found a person that makes him that happy. that makes him feel free to do what he wants to do and makes him feel comfortable and protected and loved. a person that noticed him and appreciated him from the very first moment. today all i saw was isak, the happiest and chillest person on earth. and when he noticed that photo of mikael on sana’s laptop? oh my god. sana avoided the talk but isak. isak had that expression on his face. he was worried and confused. worried for something he knows nothing about! but yeah, that totally said isak will stand up for his man no matter what. i’m so proud of my boy

karstenharrington  asked:

Hello! Thank you for the advice and listening to my question (even if you probably heard it secondhand from Meg) but at the very end when I asked for advice, i was asking specifically for coloring because I am a hopeless mess when it comes to that. So if I do have to go it alone (which I probably will, not expecting a miracle), what are some tips and advice you can give me on how to color well?

Sure thing!  I have a short write-up/mini tutorial on how I organize the colors for DotL, which you can find HERE.

In simplest terms, It’s best to break down a panel/page into groups, background and characters.  The object is to create as little work for yourself so you use less time.  This also makes adjustments/mistake fixing in general a little easier on yourself.

Use a color palette.  Clip Studio Paint has this nifty little window called “Sub View”.  You can drag and drop (or use the palette’s menu) to open up files, which you can use for reference, but I use for my color palette because the two tools you can use on that window is the color picker and the hand tool (defaulted to color picker unless you’re holding down the spacebar or select the tool on the palette).  You also do not need to constantly re-open a file to get the most updated version, simply save the file, click the next arrow (you can hold MANY reference images in the sub view palette, and click back to your reference, and voila, it’ll display the most recently saved version of the file)  It will make using consistent colors easier.  For reference, here’s the DotL color palette:

Obviously these colors aren’t all used on every page, but if I feel like something should be preserved (like the lighting color scheme of a specific scene, or what blending modes I used in what order while painting the Ice/water layers) I save it on the color palette for later use.

When I color, especially characters, I tend to use a specific order, which is reflected in the size and position of the colored dots.  In general, the colors usually go: skin, eyes/mouth, hair, clothes (innermost to outermost layer), but others, like Thistle have a different approach of a general dark to light flatting scheme.  It’s important to find what works and is the fastest for you.

That all said, this is just how I color DotL.  My approach to this comic is different from how I would color a different comic.  Your approach to color should always be about how you want it to feel and what is going to work best for your linework.  Which means there’s no “right” way to do things and it’s going to require a lot of experimentation.

On The Door Step - part 4

Parings: Dean x Sister!Reader x Sam

Summary: In 2000, John Winchester opened the door to his current motel room and found a little girl at his feet, sleeping peacefully with a fuzzy white blanket tucking her in a wicker basket. Now, nearly 16 years later, (Y/N) has still yet to find herself in the world of the Winchesters.

prologue   part 1    part 2   part 3

Warnings: Season 10/11 spoilers, cursing (I think that’s it)

Words: 2544

A/N: Y’all will never understand how much I appreciate hearing from you! I’m so glad y’all like this series.


My foot taps against the carpet floors of the restaurant my stomach demanded I enter while I wait for my food to arrive. Four hours ago I left Lebanon, driving down interstates until my gas tank needed to be filled. While I was at the pump, stretching my legs, my stomach roared to life and I had remembered I forgot to eat today.

Sam and Dean left two hours before me, heading out to find Castiel with Rowena in the backseat. I skipped breakfast and lunch because I was too busy trying to make sure Sam and Dean didn’t suspect me of anything, and then once they had left I had sent myself on a quest to find dad’s journal in hops that it would be my first clue to finding answers. It was.

There was a couple of entries from the week that I was given to them and the most useful piece of information written in any of those entries was that the Winchester boys were staying at the Travellers Inn in Circle Montana. There was bits and pieces about the case John was working on, a simple haunting at one of the residence’s houses, but most of it was John babbling about how much Sam and Dean fought to keep me as John wasn’t thrilled about me.

“Here ya go, doll,” the waiter smiles at me, placing my BLT sandwich with house-made chips. I smile at him until he leaves me be and I dig in. And man does this hit the spot. As I enjoy my food, I shift in the booth as I begin to feel the cold metal of the gun I stole from Dean’s bedroom and the rough cloth of the spell bag meant to keep me hidden rub against the small of my back.

I had to take precautions so Sam and Dean won’t know that I left home and they can focus all their energy on find Castiel and not me. So, I turned off my GPS as well as change the account information so they can’t call the company and ask to switch it back on. I grew up watching Dean chase after Sam every time he ran, and I’ve learned from his slip ups.

The waiter comes back, asking me if I need a refill on my soda and not so subtly hinting at the fact he wants to know if I’m free later. I pretend to be naive and not understand his flirting and just pay for the meal. He seems a little disappointed as he takes the cash and heads to the register while I begin to place my bag on my shoulders and tuck my helmet under my arm.

The night sky is painted a beautiful shade of purple as the sun sets behind the line of trees and I climb on my bike and strap on my helmet before riding down the main road of Valentine Nebraska and soon cross the border into South Dakota.

The interstate is an agonizingly long stretch of road surrounded by flat and seemingly endless green land that owned by farmers. If I remember the map correctly, I am actually passing through an Indian reservation.

The sky darkens and the stars take their places up in the sky while my eyes begin to struggle to keep open. I can feel my body weaken as the tiredness settles within and I pull off the main road and come to a stop at the only motel in Faith, South Dakota.

Parking my bike in the pretty much empty lot, my eyes fall onto the small picnic area in the center of the lot underneath a gazebo where a young couple sit and chat.

“Can I help you?” An older woman with glasses greets me when I enter the office and the little bell hanging over the entryway rings. She looks up at me, moving her glasses to the tip of her nose in order to see me better and then slightly scowls. She’s not thrilled a teenager walked through her door.

“Hi, I’d like a room for the night, please?” I smile brightly at the woman as I approach. “One bed would be great. She raises an eyebrow before placing her glasses back on and turning to the computer.

“You here with your parents?”

“No, by myself. I’m heading back to college but I’m too tired to continue driving.” I tighten my smile, trying to keep my irritation hidden. Why the fuck do I need parents to rent a hotel room?

“Oh, really, where do you go to school?” She asks, typing away on the keyboard and glancing at me over the top of her ugly and old frames.

“Williston State College. I was visiting my sister who’s going through chemo.” The old woman places a hand over her heart as her eyes fill with sorry.

“Oh dear,” she places a hand over mine as she hands me a room key. “I’ll pray for your sister. What’s her name?”

“It would mean so much to my family,” I smile softly at the woman, playing on her emotions. “Her name is Kim.”

“My husband died last year from cancer…” the woman begins to tell me all about her late husband and I smile and nod along, giving the responses of a concerned human. However, on the inside I’m screaming for her to can it so I can go to sleep.

My phone rings in my pocket and I politely excuse myself outside into the night. For all I know the call can be a telemarketer as I haven’t checked the name while I escape. Once outside and I search for room five, I glance at the screen and my oldest brother’s name is written across in white letters.

“Did you find Castiel?” I ask before Dean even has the chance to greet me. It’s been eating at me since I did what I did, I didn’t want to do it, but it was the only way to get them out of the room. “Is he okay? Did he hurt anyone?”

“Nah, just me, but yeah, he’s fine,” Dean sighs, and I can hear the creaking of the Impala’s doors before Dean lets out a huff when he sits behind the wheel. “Rowena removed the spell and he’s better.”

I close my eyes and release the breath I had been holding.

“Everything okay there?” Dean asks, keys jingling in the background. “Sam wants to know if you’re reading for your test.”

“Yeah, just finished studying,” I lie, unlocking the motel door and switching on the lights to the very small room. It doesn’t look too bad, compared to some of the motels Dean and Sam had dragged me to before they found the bunker. There’s no weird smells or disturbing stains on the walls or ceiling and when I lay down on the bed I feel my eyes grow even heavier than before. “I’m about to go to bed… Studying is horrible.”

Dean laughs lightly at my comment and I feel my heart sink.

“Alright, kiddo. Get some sleep. We should be home sometime tomorrow afternoon.” I nod, and say goodnight to him and then to Sam when he demands to talk to me. He gives me words of encouragement for my test tomorrow before hanging up.

I toss the phone farther up the bed and hide my eyes in the crook of my elbow. I’m happy to know they’re okay, but something keeps nipping at my thoughts.

What’s going to happen if I find what I’m looking for?


I munch on the chips I bought at the gas station for lunch, sitting on a park bench and watching a group of locals throw Frisbees and toss some footballs back and forth, the occasional soccer ball rolling pass my line of sight. I take in a deep breath, enjoying the afternoon sun before checking my phone. It’s four o’clock, school in Lebanon gets out at three but my brothers know I sometimes head to the library.

By the time it turned thirty minutes passed four, my phone buzzes to life in my pocket. I answer Sam’s call.

“Hey, how late are you going to stay at the library?”

“Sam, I’m not in Lebanon… I’m not even in Kansas.”

“What do you mean you’re not in Kansas?” I close my eyes, hearing Dean asking the same question in the background. Sam puts me on speaker and Dean asks again. I repeat.

“Where the hell are you, (Y/N)?”

“I’m looking for answers, Dean.”

“Answers? What do you need answered?”

“(Y/N), come home.” Sam softly demands and I sigh, shifting on the park bench.

“I can’t do that. I need to know what I-” I clamp my mouth shut, before correcting myself, “who I am. I’ll be home when I know.”

“Come home. You could get yourself hurt. You know what kind of things are out there.”

“No, I won’t. I was raised by Winchesters… I also have dad’s journal.” I pause, gathering my trash and belongings before heading towards a trash can. “Don’t even bother tracking me down. I’ve covered my tracks.”

For a moment, the dead silence on the other end leads me to believe they’ve either hung up or walked away, but the more closely I listen, the more I can hear their breathing.

“Did you tell Cas I was sorry?” I ask, in hopes to get a response out of one of them.

“Yes, but he doesn’t know why you’re sorry,” Sam answers, and I can hear the scraping of a chair against the floor.

“That’s good.”

“Why are you sorry?” Dean hisses, leaning closer to the phone.

“You’d would just be angrier if you knew. Look, I gotta get back on the road. I love you both.” I hang up before either one could add anything.


Finally, after a little over thirteen hours on the road, I pull into Travelers Inn in Circle, Montana. It almost looks deserted and if it wasn’t for the two grumpy looking men standing outside their trucks, I would think the place has been abandoned. I find the office and stride in and instantly I’m slapped with the strong scent of cigarette smoke that the older man behind the desk is sporting. I get the man’s attention, expecting him to turn into a grumpy old man because a teenager has found her way into his place of business, but instead, he smiles brightly at me.

“You wanting a room?” he questions, before pulling out a record book. “We’ve got some available.”

“A room would be great,” I smile back at him, oddly feeling comfortable around this stranger. “A single bed would work.”

“You’re in luck then, this is the last single bed,” he says, handing over a key and taking the cash I place on the counter. “Say,” he pauses, leaning over the counter to get a better look at me, “have you been here before?”

I shake my head, twirling the key-ring around my fingers. “No, first time.”

“Are ya sure?” He questions, his graying eyebrows knitting together as he thinks hard on where he’s seen me before. “You look rather familiar…” He shrugs before extending a hand. “My name’s George, and if ya need anything just come back here. You’ll either find me or my wife, she’s the the woman being pulled on by gravity.”

I jump as a rag hits the older man’s head, a rounded woman stepping out from behind him with her hands on her hips. I giggle at the glare she sends her husband’s way before smiling at me. “I’m Vivian, nice to meet ya dear.”

“(Y/N).”

“You’re, what, 17? You here with family?” I shake my head. “You’re here alone?”

“I’m here for answers.” I smile before nodding to both and exiting the office.

I find my room, stepping inside to find no sign of the scent of smoke and everything seems to be fairly clean. I dump my bag on the bed and check the amount of cash I have. Realizing I’m going to need more I head for the shower to rid my body of the long trip and then begin to apply a small amount of makeup and dress in a pair of skinny jeans and tank top.

My brothers might not have taught me everything about hunting monsters, but they taught me how to survive and one of the things you need to know is how to hustle.

I find a casino farther down from the motel, and as the sky darkens, the residents of Circle pile in and begin to enjoy themselves. I take a seat at the bar, asking for two empty shot glasses. I place them down in front of me, before turning to scope out the bar goers.

I search for the right type to loop into playing pool, and my eyes land on small group of guys that’s already had two beer buckets. I meet the eyes of one man in the group of three before swiveling in my chair to face the bartender. I ask for a shot glass with water and a lime. Even though the bartender gives me a strange look, she delivers to my request and I toss back the water and bite down on the lime. I turn back around, catching the guy’s eyes again before hopping off the stool and heading his way, making sure to sway my hips.

“Any of you boys up for a game of pool?” I smile sweetly, twisting my finger around a strand of my hair. One of them volunteers and I set to work. We play a couple of times, each time I fail and each time I purposely lose and beg to play again and bet some more.

“Again. Double or nothing,” I smile, leaning against the table as I watch the man rack up the pool balls.

“Double $200?” He questions, raising a brow as he approaches me. He laughs, placing the cash on the table and I do the same. “Loser breaks.” He gestures to the table, taking a step away and giving me room to break. The balls roll around until three solids sink into the pockets. I move along the side of the table, searching for the best angle to make the next shot and I sink in two more solids and completely avoiding the strips and the 8 ball.

“You hustled me,” the man says in awe as he watches me sink the 8 ball and win the game. I set the cue-stick on the table and pick the cash off the corner and stuff it in my pocket. One of his friends laugh as the others pat him on the shoulder and try to hold back their own laughter.

“This was fun, we should do this again.” I turn to walk away and grab my jacket from the back of the bar stool. The bartender laughs, shaking her head at me.

My hair is swept off my shoulders by a cool breeze when I exit the casino and climb on my bike. As I ride back towards the motel, I can hear that surprisingly comfortable bed calling out to me.


Tags: @straightasdeanwinchester , @superblyunnatural , @watermelonfruitsalad , @another-self-mutilating-girl , @soullessbabee , @mackenziewinchester , @jensen-jarpad , @spnkisum 

Next

RFA (+V and Saeran) and their first kiss with MC <3

I know that so many people did this already but I wanted to soooo badly >_< also in this HC let´s pretend they didn´t kiss okay?

_Yoosung_

° he invited you over for a round of LOLOL

° you were together for over a month now and it pissed you off that all you ever did was playing games 。゜(`Д´)゜。

° sure, you loved playing together with him but….

° all in all it felt more like a good friendship than a romantic relationship

° and you didn´t like that (;¬_¬)

° so you made up a plan and today would be the day

° the day of your first kiss with your boyfreind Yoosung

° that meant you had to be extra pretty tonight o(^▽^)o

° when he opened the door for you he was shocked

° but of course in a good way XD

° “Woah, MC you look so pretty. Is something important Happening today?”

° oh you sweet, clueless boy……

° here MC´s masterplan began

° “Does that mean I´m usual not pretty?”

° yeah, it was this exact strategy

° “No you always look pretty MC!”

° “So you want to say I look as always? Yoosung you treat me as a friend and not a girlfriend. I sometimes think you don´t even love me!”

° you took acting lessons from Zen so you even managed to cry a little

° “But MC of course I love you !!! I just don´t want  to rush things.”

° now he cried too…

° “No, you don´t. You didn´t even kissed me yet.”\|  ̄ヘ ̄|/

° so that was the reaseon you were so unhappy …..

° no Yooosung u serious??? what a brain..

° he never knew that you felt this way and he was ashamed

° so he did as asked, kinda….

° it was mostly crushing his nose against yours

° soooo embarassing (*゚ー゚)ゞ

° but hey, you had reached your Goal (he kissing you first) and now you kissed him

° but the right way, as often as you could <3</p>


_Jaehee_

° we don´t have to pretend much here…only that they´re together

° you were frustrated

° why woulden´t she kiss you ??

° you always brushed your teeth, didn´t look that bad and never ate garlic when you met with her..

° so why?

° you then did the last thing you could think of…..

° asking the one person who knew everything……….Seven (ノ^∇^)ノ゚

° you spoke with him over the phone and agreed to meet up

° his house was messy as always and there were Ph. Pepper cans all over the floor ⁽(◍˃̵͈̑ᴗ˂̵͈̑)⁽

° “Hey Seven, thanks for helping me out.”

° “No Problem MC, you helped the RFA so much why shoulden´t I help you?”

° something was fishy with how he spoke but he was alwys a bit weird

° “So MC, you told me there was something you can´t tell her directly regarding your relationship.”

° you didn´t told him everything, in case Jaehee came back or was eavesdropping

° what she would never do

° “That´s right. You know I really appreciate waht she does for me and she´s alws nice and stuff but-”

° you heard something, or someone fall over and hit the floor

° your first thought was that Saeran tripped beacuse who else should be at Seven´s house?? (・_・ヾ

° but nooo, it was Jaehee ????「(°ヘ°)

° “Jaehee, what are you doing here??!”

° “Seven tolde me you wanted to talk with him about me. And I thought you were going to break up!”

° now you were confused, why would she think that?

° you loved her with all your heart so why would want to break up?

° “ Jaehee why would I want to break up?”

° “You know MC, it really sounded a bit like that..”

° thank you very much Seven

° then she kissed you, out of the blue

° “MC don´t break up with me I love you!!”

° “Jaehee, I won´t break up with you. I just wanted to ask Seven why you woulden´t kiss me. I thought you wanted to break up.”

° and then there was a super cute confessing-scene which almost landed online thanks to Seven

° but Saeran nicely convinced him otherwise… ( ° ʖ °)


_Zen_

° this one will be quick XD

° we all know he will get to the thing as soon as he can ( ° ʖ °)

° but you were a little shy regarding this matter

° since Zen´s praying that all men are beasts he understands and protects you from the beast

° but every patience comes to an end, even Zen´s

° so he worked out a masterplan, as he called it

° doing stuff a couple would do in the publich was off-limit for you

° you didn´t want for Zen to be in a scandal or hurt his carreer

° and Jaehee would probably kill you

° so it had to be at home, where no one saw what you did and you had all the privacy you wanted (ノ^∇^)

° he only could hold back so long because you agreed to move in with him

° moving in without even kissing MC??? SRLY???

° you were away Shopping and he had one of his rare free days

° meaning it was the perfect chance for him to fullfil said plan

°  when you came back home you didn´t expect to see Zen in the livingroom

° a livingroom full of roses and chocolate

° “Zen, what happend to the living room ?”

° don´t get me wrong, you loved what you saw and were really happy but you didn´t quite undertstand why he did that..

° and then you sneezed, loud and then again and again

° allergies suck, right?

° “Zen I-achoo!, really appreciate what you did but plea-achoo, please put them out I have allergies.” 

° okay, maybe his plan didn´t go that well

° he hurried and put all of the flowers away, so his last hope was the chocolate

° “I´m sorry MC, I didn´t knew that. But I also have some chocolate for you.”      (。♥‿♥。)

° felt bad for Zen so you took a bite

° buuuuut it had nuts in there…..

° did I mention how allergies suck?

° it ended with Zen calling the ambulance because of your allergies

° guess the masterplan wasn´t that much of a succes?

° “I´m so sorry princess. I guess you wanna break up now?”

° “No. why should I? It´s been a long time since someone did sucha nice thing for me. But why did you do that in the first place?”

° “Just forget it MC. Nothing important in the end.” sigh

° poor Zenny

° “Well, whatever, I still think your the sweetest boyfriend walking on earth.” <3

° and because the best boyfriend only deserved the best, you kissed him

° RIP Zen ( ≧Д≦)

° no, srly you almost had to call the doctor because of the bloodloss through his nose XD

° maybe the plan failed but in the end he got what he wanted now hide yourself from the beast MC


_Jumin_

° I don´t count the kiss infront of Sarah as a real couple-kiss

° so after you moved in with him permanently he still was a bit hesistant

° he already forced himself on you and didn´t want to do it again

° after all he was raised to be a gentelman XD

° you could kind of sense that but in return you didn´t want to push him and express his Feelings

° you knew it was all new and a bit difficult for him

°  but the result was that you both were Holding back for each others sake

° that means both of you were frustrated

° and when Jumin Han was frustrated he got pissed…. like really pissed

° and that means more work for poor Jaehee (⌣_⌣”)

° so she called you to ask if everything is alright betwee you two

° “MC, Mr. Han is very…. tense for a while now. Do you have any idea why that is so?”

° you did, kind of..

° “I think I have an idea why, I will talk to him today, I´m sorry if he caused you trouble.”

° you knew you had to do the second-first-step

° it shouldn´t be that hard right?

° hahaha

° this evening he came home even later than usual

° you made dinner for yuo two and played some nice music in the background

° “Hi Jumin,, Jaehee said you´re stressed lately. Is something wrong?”

° “No, what should be wrong?”

° whenever he was bound short he was stressed or annoyed

° “But you´re bringing home more work than usual these days.”

° “MC, please. I am just busier than normally. It has nothing to do with anything.”

° so he was stressed

° “Hey Juimin, I know what to do when you´re stressed and worn out.”

° he looked up, probably to hear what you had to say or say something himself

° but you were a lot quicker

° you gave him a kiss

° “MC, I think you Need to take responsibility for what you have done.”

° he got up and walked towards you, till you hit the door leading to the bedroom

° I think you can guees what happend next ( ° ʖ °)


_Saeyoung/Seven_

° after you became a couple he mostly spend his time at the Hospital with Saeran

° so no time for you :(

° but you understood, if it was your brother you´d likely do the same

° but nevertheless it hurt that he left you alone like that

° he started to build his walls again and left you out

° nooo, don´t go back there  (;へ:)

° you treid you best to help and do all the cleaning Vanderwood once did

° but it didn´t help much

° you decided it was the best to go back to your house for now

° so when Seven came back home he expected you to be on the Couch or wherever in the house

° and you were somewhere, but not somewhere in the house

° so he checked the security cameras, maybe you went Shopping?

° you did leave, but together with all of your belongings

° he panicked

° why did you leave?

° was it because he was busy with ihs brother? Because you had to clean all the time?

° but the most important question: were you planning to come back?

° who knows?

° he wanted you to come back

° being in panik-mode he did the first thing that came to his mind

° hacking into your landlord´s computer andthrowing you out of your flat

° nice ting to do Seven….

° and then, he waited

° the phone rang

° “Hi MC, whats up?”

° “Hey Saeyoung, my landlord threw me out. I don´t know why and I don´t know what to do.” 

° you were crying

° “Keep calm. First you catch your stuff and come back here. I´ll make something to eat and then we can discuss what to do next.”

° “Thanks Seven you´re the best. See you in 10.”

° did he overdo it? probably…

° you arrived at his house and when you stepped inside you could already smellsomething burnt

° “Seven, is your house in fire??”

° “Nah, it´s just the pancake.”

° he looked like he was in a dough-explosion ɾ⚈▿⚈ɹ

° you laughed, he looked a bit hurt

° “You always know how to cheer me up. I love you Saeyoung!” (。♥‿♥。)

° you kissed him and he decided to spin you around after picking you up

° so cuuuuteeeeee

° it was the best time of your life……until he told you about what he did XD


_V_

° it clearly didn´t lack any intention from his side…

° the first time he “wanted to see which eye colour you have”

° but instead of letting him get Close to your face you told him

° MC, please read the mood, would you?

° the second time he accedantly bumped his forhead against yours

° but you told him it was okay and went into the kitchen

° the third time he became desperate he grabbed you by your shoulders and stared at you (he wanted your ok at least)

° but you started to feel embarássed and excused youself to the bathroom

° it wasn´t like you don´t want him to kiss you

° it was more like you being to shy and afraid you were not good enough

°  you saw that he was sad whenever you rejected him like that

° so you made up your mind and decided to not back away next time

° unfortunately that time didn´t come (︶︹︺)

° he was sad, yes, but he respected you and your privacy, so he stopped tryind to push you

° that meant that you had to take the step, next time there was a chance

° that time came around on your next date

° you went to the aquarium and then fetched some dinner in an italian restaurant

° why? because why not!?

°  when he had a piece of pizza left on the corner of his mouth, you saw your chance

° “You have something on your face, mind if I wipe it away?”

° “Yes, that would be very nice of you.”

° imagine the shocked look on his face when you wiped it awya with your tounge XD

° but before he could say anything you shut him up with your lips on his <3

° what a lovely date (♥ω♥*)


_Saeran_

° he wasn´t that good with emotions

° still you showerd him with affection

° it took him almost a month to get used to hugging, so kissing was a far away dream to you

° it made you sad but hey, you still had the rest of your life right?

° Saeran often wondered how he deserved you…

° he was afraid of loosing you

° especially after his idiot brother told him that you would if he didn´t kiss you

° shock of his life ( ⚆ _ ⚆ )

° “MC, do you want to leave me?”

° “No, why should I?”

° you were confused, did Seven tell him some bullshit again?

° he did that nonstop so it wouldn´t suprise you

° “Saeyoung said you would if I don´t kiss you.”

° you spitted out your drink  (`〇Д〇)

° “He said what!!?”

° yes, you could take this chance and force him to kiss you

° but where was the point in that ?

° “Don´t listen to him. I won´t leave because of that and we can kiss if you fel you can manage it, okay?”

° you were just to nice to him

° he knew you only meant it good but he also saw the sadness in your eyes

° so he went to his last backup-plan

° “Saeyoung, I need your help. I want to kiss MC but I don´t know how to do it.” 

° “If you want I can practise with you.”

° “Ok, bye.”(҂⌣̀_⌣́)

° “NOOOO!! Wait!”

° then things happend that I don´t want to explain

° “Hey Saeran do you know wher I left my-”

° you walked in as Seven kissed his brother, Saeran tried to punch him but failed

° “Ooookay… I´m comming back later then.”¯\_(ツ)_/¯

° “No, MC WAIT!!”

° he punched his brother so satisfying and ran after you

° of course you weren´t mad at him if you were then at Seven

° “MC, please don´t be angry at me, it was his fault.”

° he sounded like a kid who´s ice cream got eaten by his brother XD

° I think if someone would do that he would be dead in 3 seconds

° “Saeran, I´m not mad at you that you kissed your brother before me.”

° yes, you were playing with him feeling guilty

° he was afraid

° “No, MC don´t leave me, I´ll do anything …”

° by anything he was referring to kissing and that he did

° result: he felt good kissing you so he didn´t stop you know what follows XD

° but still you punched Seven for kissing your boyfriend


Why did this turn out so long? I have no idea….¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Sorry for taking so long though, exams kept me busy so I had not too much time on my Hand

Anyway, I hope you liked it and if you did, leave a like, comment or a repost, which would make me very happy (*^▽^*)

Also if you have any requests or questions just send them nad I´ll do my best    ( ゚▽゚)/

6

Couple of things here:

The first thing he does after the explosion is to look at Aloy to see if she’s alright before looking at the ground and sitting up.

Second, he knew exactly what he was doing by sitting there and waiting for Aloy to help him up. I mean seriously.

Erend you’re like 4 times bigger than her. You wield a giant hammer for chrissakes, your palm is bigger than her wrist. You didn’t need her help to get up. You’re just giving material to the Oseram Guards to crack jokes about you and her, that’s what you’re doing.

Also, there were Guards around that were completely useless and not helping Erend, or even paying attention to the BURNING BUILDING. There is also a guard in the background, wearing the same armor, getting up without any trouble what so ever.

Don’t give me that “but he’s wearing lots of armor!” because he managed to spring up from the Box Of Blaze And Explosions And Glinthawks™ and run away as if he was wearing a pajamas.

why am i doing this