what am i doing with my life this is so dumb

My Mum and I get invited to lunch or dinner once a week by a good friend of ours. Mostly on weekend, he lets me decide if I want to eat Italian, Asian or something else, and then we go there.

My absolute favorite is a little Italian restaurant in our town. Not only because the food there is so tasty it should be illegal, but also because there is that one elderly waiter – Italian himself- who always makes my day.

The first time we went to that restaurant, we were not served by that guy, though, but by a younger, unlikeable young waiter. He didn’t greet us, brought the wrong drinks and didn’t once smile or anything.

The whole time, I felt quite uncomfortable around him, but I got a glimpse of that elderly waiter in the background, watching with a frown. He caught my interest because he looked just as uncomfortable by the younger’s display as I did.

And then, the young one made one last misstep – he turned towards my Mum and said, “What does the boy want to eat?”

There was a long pause where we all exchanged confused gazes, before I said, slowly but clearly, “I’m a girl, sir.”

(I wasn’t angry, mind you. It happens quite a lot to me – I close to never wear tight clothes, my hair is cut short and I never wear makeup. I see where it’s coming from, really.)

But what came then made me grit my teeth, because instead of being baffled or even embarrassed, the guy looked at me and said, “You’re kidding me, right?”

Before I could say anything – or calm my mum, because she gasped loudly in outrage – the elder waiter swooped in, bristling as he basically tore into the younger one. I couldn’t understand what he said, because he talked Italian the whole time, but my Mum later said that he had been outraged that “A beautiful young Signorina” just as me had been insulted like that.

All in all, it didn’t take very long until the young waiter vanished back in the kitchen and the elder waiter turned towards me, basically bowed to me and apologized over and over again. “I’m so sorry, Signorina, that you had to hear that! Please accept my sincere apology…!”

“No, please,” I managed, not knowing if I should be embarrassed or amused by the sight of him being so dramatic. “This happens a lot to me, please, you didn’t do anything wrong.”

“Ah, Signorina, such a gentle soul you are!”

At that point, I laughed out loud because he beamed at me with such a delight, it was just funny how passionate he was about all that.

Since then, the dear waiter always insisted on being the one who catered to us whenever we come to this restaurant. I didn’t complain at all, and also my mum and our friend were quite amused by that. The elderly man would take my jacket off, pull my chair back for me and give me a kiss on the hand once we left again, insisting that I had to be treated like “the gentle and nice Singorina” I am.

Honestly, such behavior is strange to me, since I didn’t really grow up with gentlemen, but I let him have his fun, since he always pouted when I wouldn’t let him tend to me. It was his way of showing me his respect, and if that was what he wanted, I would let him.

Today, we went there for lunch, but I wasn’t really looking forward to it. I was still deep in thought about school and that dumb group project, and the only reason I did leave the house at all was because my Mum basically pleaded me to do so.

So I was kind of staring into the air instead of making conversation, and didn’t even realize that I had taken off my jacket alone before the waiter could help me.

Once my mum left to go to the toilet and our friend went back to his car because he had forgotten his wallet there, I was startled by the waiter appearing next to me, putting down a little plate with chocolates on the table next to me.

I blinked, frowning. “Excuse me, but we didn’t order that.”

“Ah, but Signorina,” he winked at me, smiled crookedly. “That’s a little present on the house.”

I managed a little smile, thanking him.

He hummed, refilling my glass and explaining. “I missed your smile today, Signorina.”

“I’m sorry. I’m a bit… lost in thought, I guess.”

“We can’t have that, no, no.”

I shot him a glance, guessing that he was already planning something again, but he just took my order with a wide smile and disappeared in the kitchen again.

Let’s just say that he exceeded himself that day.

The pizza I ordered was not round as usual – somehow, he had managed to convince the chef to make it heart-shaped this time. In between bits of conversation, he would appear at our table, refill the little plate with chocolates again and again, shooting me a grin every time. And when I followed my Mum out of the restaurant, he waited already at the door, surprising me with a bowl full of chocolate mousse – “on the house”, he explained with a wink.

Etiquette or whatever be damned – I straight out hugged him then and there. And based on his delighted laughter and him cheering “There is your smile, Signorina!” I don’t think he really minded.

Honestly, bless this angel of a person, please. Bless him and all his descendants.

My Rich American Family

by reddit user aliceinvunderland

I am part of a rich American family, in a rich American suburb, full of rich American people.

Life is hell.

Every morning, me and the rest of the Wives get up at 5:00am sharp. Fifteen minutes of jogging around the neighborhood, five minutes in the shower (set to cold), twenty minutes for hair and makeup, and then five to get dressed. If we’ve managed that in time, meaning no later than 5:45am, we might be allowed solid food with our coffee.

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Great lines from Pokemon main series games:

  • “It’s a switch. Press it?” [Yes] “Who wouldn’t?”
  • “You daft codger, your mask’s absurd!”
  • “This is bad! Badbadbadbadbadbadbad! Bad for Team Plasma! Or Plasbad for short!”
  • “Judge an Egg?! That’s a tall order even for me!” 
  • “The train hasn’t come in… I know! I’ll carry the passengers on my back! That won’t work.” 
  • “The way it works is blah blah… radioactive energy blah blah… blah blah blah infrared technology… blah blah blah…” 
  • [Name] paid an outrageous ¥500 and bought the Magikarp… 
  • “I am at this hotel now.”
  • “I’m the Team Skull boss, and I’ve never been scared of nothing or nobody. Heck, I live my life making people scared of ME! So listen to what big bad Guzma has to say… Y'all are stupid!”
  • “I CAN’T STOP SHOUTING! I THINK I’LL FREEZE IF I DO!”
  • “Today’s smell check of our beds is done! They’re fine. They smell good.”
  • “You dim-witted…dense…dumb…daft…dippy…dorky…doltish DOOFUS!!!“
  • DDDDDDDDDDOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMM!
  • “Whoops, dropped my balls.”
  • “Verily has it been our most treasured possession, since I happened to pick it up in a shop a week ago. Or two weeks, mayhap!” 
  • “I need to find a way to get more into the character of a Pokémon… maybe I should get the Day Care to raise me?” 
  • “My Hiker friend was so pleased by your right answer that he simply had to battle you! Come, my fine Hiker!”
  • “This pretty Pokemon looks just like me when I was younger. Right when I said that, my husband spewed the coffee he was drinking. Did I say something funny?” 
  • “You compare ME, Tabitha, the next Chief Admin of Team Magma, to a Makuhita?! You’d better at least make it a Hariyama!”
  • “Truly marvelous! And also a bridge!”
  • “I’m not stuck! It’s just that a pleasantly cool breeze drifts through here.”
  • “Lighthouse Point: The point that has a lighthouse.” 

god, do i miss homestuck. 

 and i KNOW that’s standard fare, i know most of us are over it, but i still can’t wrap my head around the fact that it’s been a year already? because homestuck had been such a big part of my life for so long, and suddenly- it’s gone.

homestuck redefined fandom for me, and i know that there won’t ever be something quite like it again- the way we came together, the upd8 culture and the cons and the panels, the lyricstucks, the fansongs and animations and meetups and the way we were a family, of sorts, united by our love for this dumb webcomic that brought us together- there’s never going to be anything like that. homestuck was a cultural masterpiece, a revolution in and of itself, and i honestly don’t think anything can top it in terms of impact. 

 homestuck was just so big, so much, for so long, and it’s hard to believe that- it’s not anymore. and it’s hard to believe that everyone’s moved on from something that we loved so much, that shaped us so much, that brought us together like nothing else before. 

 and maybe there will be no more spin the faygo games at cons. maybe there will be no more lyricstucks or fansongs, no more bucket full of homestuck-style panels, no more rush to make upd8 art and cosplay new characters and update shipping charts with all new quadrants. maybe it really is over. but we’re all still here, whether we like it or not. 

we’d use to joke that “the ride never ends.” and it doesn’t, not really. because homestuck is something that sticks with you no matter what. so this is a love letter to my favorite story, the story that made me who i am. happy 4/13, everybody. thanks for eight fantastic years.

okay, so I’ve seen multiple posts just today that were basically like “haha who ever said adulthood was having your life together and everything figured out, I’m 28 and real life is drowning me as much as it ever was”

and like…the answer to that is…adults. adults said that. generation after generation, the narrative from adults to young people has been, “you are a dumb kid who doesn’t know the world or yourself but I am a Grownup with Life Experience™, and that’s why you’re supposed to do what I tell you, that’s why I don’t need to listen to your thoughts and feelings, that’s why society imagines me as a full human being and you as something that’s going to grow into a full human being.”

there’s a great book all about this that I’ve had a lot of my students read - Childhood and Society, by a sociologist named Nick Lee. Lee argues that the child/adult binary is a socially constructed one, based, like any other such binary, on an imagined idea of clearly oppositional characteristics. specifically, he says that children are imagined as incomplete, unstable (as in their lives and experiences are constantly changing, not as in mentally unstable), and dependent, and adults as complete, stable, and independent. those characteristics don’t match up to reality if you think about them too hard for even a moment - no one is truly independent, adults’ lives aren’t stable, what does judging a human being’s “completeness” even mean - but it doesn’t matter, because our culture is so obsessed with believing in them.

and adults being forced to pretend they’re complete and independent and living stable lives is one of the toxic ways all this plays on people of all ages.

I really hope that seeing my generation talk like this - just flat-out admit that we don’t know what the hell we’re doing any better than we did ten years ago - means we have the potential to break this cycle. but honestly, entering my 30s and having seen so many people my age turn into those adults who act like they have life so well figured out compared to those dumb kids, it doesn’t seem likely. we might be a little better than we could’ve been, but too many of us are going down that tired old road of transitioning from talking about how much smarter we are than our parents to talking about how much smarter we are than our kids, just like every generation does when it hits this age.

I guess what I’m saying is, please, young 20-somethings of today, be better ten years from now than we are.

The 7 Elements of a SCENE

There are few things as soul-crushing in the writing process (at least to me) than getting a bunch of characters in a room with the intention of something happening, then the characters proceed to stand around and stare at each other.  

Or worse, look at you like this. 

My characters didn’t know why they were there. I didn’t know why they were there either. I had no clue what they were supposed to be doing, so I’d start throwing random instructions at them: “Fight, characters! You guys should fight now! Maybe fighting will make this event have a purpose!” Which inevitably resulted in characters going through the motions of battle for no apparent reason, like they had all lost their minds.

What was the problem? I didn’t know how to write a scene. I didn’t know what a scene was. I had a vague definition that it was something about changing scenery, or just “something happening”.

It’s not. And once I learned what a scene was, my characters got to stop pummeling each other, while wishing they could pummel me. 

So what is a scene? 

The definition of a scene is kind of like the definition of a story. Story is change, a massive change in the life of your main character. A scene is change too, but much smaller, and part of that huge story change. You couldn’t have the BIG change without these tiny changes. Thus, a scene is not switching scenery. It’s not flipping to a new Character’s POV. It’s one segment of change, which triggers the next change, which triggers the next, which gradually build into sequences, which build into Acts, which build into story. 

So what goes into a scene? How does it work?

1. Alternating Charges

If a scene opens positive, it will turn negative by the end. If it opens negative, it will end positive. Simple. 

2. Character Goals

Everybody in a scene wants something. If they don’t want anything, they shouldn’t be in the scene. And these characters, with their often opposing goals, are going to employ different tactics on each other to get what they want. Which creates …

3. Escalating Conflict

Conflict is created when one character wants one thing and another wants something else, right? So the characters in the scene are each pushing for something different, each new tactic increasing in determination. And what are these actions called?  

4. Beats

The beats of a scene are exchanges of action and reaction. One character does something, another character reacts. All exchanges (beats) are pushing the scene onward, building tension and conflict, until finally …

5. Turns & Revelations

The scene turns. The positive has changed to negative. Something has been discovered. The story has spun in a new direction.

6. Connection to Story Objective

Every scene must be connected to the BIG goal of the story, the main character is taking small actions to reach that big goal. If it isn’t obviously connected to this big plot, it won’t make sense. Your reader won’t know why the heck they’re reading the scene. Which brings us to … 

7. Logic & Necessity  

Every scene must be necessary. It must be able to be linked with the previous scene. “Because that happened in the previous scene, THIS must happen in this scene.”

So! To see how that all works, let’s break down a scene from Tangled. (Because I used it in the last post to map out how a premise works, and my little writer heart can’t resist symmetry.)

Which scene? The one right after this happens: 

Opening Charge: Positive. She’s realized everything. 

Rapunzel’s Goal: Rise up against her mother – finally. 

Gothel’s Goal: Regain control.

Escalating Conflict: They’re fighting over who controls Rapunzel, and this battle causes them to go from “mother and daughter” to “enemies”. The conflict builds nicely in this scene, causing the story turn.

Connection to Story Objective: Throughout the movie, the big thing Rapunzel wants is freedom, she wants her life to begin, she wants to have a new dream. This is the moment she figures out how to do that; it’s not escaping the tower, it’s escaping Gothel’s control over her.

So! Here’s the scene.

Beat 1

“Rapunzel? Rapunzel, what’s going on up there?”

Ignores her. Still processing the tremendous implications of this revelation. 

Beat 2

“Are you alright?" 

"I’m the lost princess.” (Dumbfounded. Almost whispering it to herself.)


Beat 3

“Oh, please speak up Rapunzel! You know how I hate the mumbling.” (Bullying.)

“I am the lost princess! Aren’t I?” (Fighting back. She will not be bullied anymore.)

Beat 4

Gothel stares, stunned. She’s rendered temporarily speechless, because her secret’s been revealed finally, and her victim is actually fighting against her.


“Did I mumble, Mother? Or should I even call you that?” (Accusing. Drawing herself up taller. Looking down on Gothel and glaring. She’s seeing her clearly for the first time in her life.)

Beat 5

After a pause, thinking up a tactic. “Oh, Rapunzel, do you even hear yourself? How could you ask such a ridiculous question?” (Laughs. Ridicules. Attempts to make her feel childish, dumb, worthy of being mocked. Tactics which have always worked. She even begins to hug her.)


Rapunzel pushes her. “It was you! It was all you!” (Still accusing and angry, but pain is beginning to show. It’s almost like she’s giving her a chance to explain herself.)


Beat 6

“Everything I did was to protect you.” (And Gothel doesn’t say anything redeeming. She’s holier than thou, regal, bestowing kindness on an ungrateful, stupid child. Trying to control through guilt.)

Rapunzel rams her out of the way. 

Beat 7

“Rapunzel!” (Shouting. Now trying anger.)

“I’ve spent my entire life hiding from people who would use me for my power …” (Leaves her.)

Beat 8

"Rapunzel!” (Still trying the anger angle.)

“But I should have been hiding from you.” (Throwing the truth at her.)

Beat 9

“Where will you go? He won’t be there for you.” (She’s tried everything else. It’s time to attack her heart.)

“What did you do to him?” (Fear)

Beat 10

“That criminal is to be hanged for his crimes.” (She’s keeping up the disapproving mother act, but striking her right where it will hurt her most.)

“No.” (She’s stopped. Shrinking in on herself. Staring, horrified. And Gothel thinks she’s won.)

Beat 11

“Now, now.  It’s alright. Listen to me. All of this is as it should be.” She goes to pat Rapunzel’s head, a gesture symbolic of her superiority, her physical, mental, and emotional control over her victim.


Rapunzel grabs Gothel’s wrist. “No! You were wrong about the world. And you were wrong about me! And I will never let you use my hair again!" 

Beat 12

Gothel wrenches free, stumbling backwards in shock and anger, breaking the mirror in the process. 

Rapunzel walks away. She’s escaped Gothel emotionally now.

Beat 13

"You want me to be the bad guy? Fine. Now I’m the bad guy.” (Well, now emotional control is over. It’s time to start stabbing Rapunzel’s boyfriend.)

This action has no reaction, interestingly. It leaves us hanging, a cliffhanger created with only beats. 

Closing Charge: Negative. She’s now a full-fledged villain, the motherly persona shed, and she’s determined to get what she wants whatever the cost. 

Turn: It changed from positive to negative,  and now we’ve got a Flynn-stabbing witch to deal with.  

Revelation: She’s always been evil. She has always been the bad guy. The motherly act was just that, an act. 

Logic & Necessity: This scene fits with the previous scene, and the one that follows.     

Though I’ve seen these concepts in many books, the place I first learned about it (and the best resource for scene design in my opinion) is the book Story by Robert McKee. It’s helped me countless times, is one of my favorite books on storytelling, and I highly recommend it if you write anything.

I realize that these definitions were a little vague, so I’ll be explaining things more thoroughly in subsequent posts. 

From the Other Side of the Signing Table

“I don’t know what to say to you,” the girl said. “Um, thanks, I guess.”

“Thanks is good,” I replied.

Silence stretched, punctuated only by the scuffle of a Sharpie on a page.

We were in the same boat, the girl and I — both at a book festival, both at the end of a long day full of people, both in a signing line that had been going on for an hour already. There was only one big difference between us: she was on one side of the table, and I was on the other. Sometimes that difference seems to matter more than others.

Before I was published, I read a lot of accounts of what it was like to have your work out there, but I never read anything about what it was like to have yourself out there. I suppose I never really thought about it, to tell you the truth. I thought you wrote a book and hopefully people liked it and if I thought about book tours at all, I figured they involved standing on a stage for a bit before disappearing into a rental car. The truth, however, is that now — ten years and fifteen novels in to my career — most of my hours in front of people are spent in a signing line. Forty minutes on a stage or behind a table for a panel, and then two or three hours meeting a few hundred strangers. I had no idea what it would be like.

This is what it’s like.


Keep reading

School-Related Sentence Starters

Everyday

  • “Did we have homework?”
  • “Please be my lab partner.”
  • “Can I borrow a pencil?”
  • “I really don’t want to talk in front of the whole class…”
  • “Can I copy off of you real quick?”
  • “Do you think the teacher is hot?”
  • “It’s not cheating. It’s just teamwork.”
  • “Do you think the new kid is hot?”
  • “Pretty sure the teacher is out to get me…”
  • “You are…so dumb…”
  • “Was Shakespeare gay?”
  • “Please tell me you didn’t start the project either.”
  • “If I do it at the last minute, then I’ll have a minute.”
  • “Can I borrow your notes?”
  • “This class is so boring…”
  • “Am I in the right classroom?”
  • “Someone drew a dick in my textbook.”
  • “Do you know where the nurse’s office is?”
  • “Someone put a picture of Shrek in my locker.”
  • “I can’t wait to graduate…”
  • “Meet me in the bathroom/gym/locker room later. I need to tell you something.”

Exams

  • “I forgot about the midterm.”
  • “I’m gonna FAIL.”
  • “Shut up! You always say you’re going to fail, and then you get an A.”
  • “Please help me study.”
  • “If I don’t pass, my parents are going to KILL me.”
  • “Do you ever think about how studying is just ‘student’ and ‘dying’ put together?”
  • “I live at the library now.”
  • “Do you need help with the chapter?”
  • “I don’t even know what I don’t know.”
  • “I’m afraid that they’ll revoke my scholarship.”
  • “I HAVE to be at the top of the class.”
  • “Do you even know how to read?”
  • “I don’t even get the Sparknotes…”
  • “Maybe I’ll be okay if I pick A for every answer…I have to get an A, right?”
  • “I don’t need to go to college anyway.”
  • “Sleep is for the weak.”
  • “I just did 200 practice problems. I forgot my own name.”
  • “I remember that shrimp can see more colors than we can, but I don’t remember the vocabulary words for the test.”
  • “Your notes are just doodles.”

Lunchtime

  • “What’s for lunch?”
  • “Please trade lunches with me.”
  • “I dare you to fling your peas at the principal.”
  • “There’s NO way I’m eating that.”
  • “All I have are skittles and an old Oreo.”
  • “I would kill for a taco right now.”
  • “Lunch is the only class I can do well in.”
  • “There’s pizza today.”
  • “Is that a bug in your sandwich?”
  • “Ugh, this is expired.”
  • “Is this seat taken?”
  • “I can’t eat that, I’m on a diet.”
  • “Did you make this?”
  • “If you give me a dollar, I’ll love you forever.”
  • “I made brownies.”
  • “Let’s eat outside today.”
  • “Do you think we could get pizza delivered to the school?”
  • “You’re in my seat.”
  • “These freshmen think that they can just take our table…”

Gym

  • “I can’t run for my life.”
  • “Don’t throw the ball at me!!”
  • “Why do you look so red?”
  • “I’m DYING.”
  • “It’s just sports! What could go wrong?”
  • “I can’t run anymore.”
  • “Your team is going DOWN.”
  • “Are you okay?!”
  • “You really suck at this, don’t you?”
  • “Think fast!”
  • “Is that the best you can do?”
  • “I dare you to race me.”
  • “I think the gym teacher is a supersoldier.”

Uniforms / Clothes

  • “I HATE these pants/skirts.”
  • “Do you think anyone would notice if I wore pajamas?”
  • “I haven’t washed my gym clothes in a week…”
  • “I should be allowed to wear whatever I want.”
  • “Can you believe they called my outfit ‘inappropriate’?!”
  • “I’m so sick of seeing (school color).”
  • “I wear this uniform in my dreams. I mean, in my nightmares.”
  • “Those are the most hideous shoes I’ve ever seen.”
  • “Do you think her/his girl/boyfriend got her that?”
  • “Did your boy/girlfriend really buy you that?”
  • “Class rings are overrated.”
  • “We should totally get matching hoodies.”
  • “What show/movie is your shirt from?”
  • “I can see your underwear.”

Detention

  • “Wanna skip?”
  • “I can’t believe I’m in here.”
  • “Welcome, prince(ss)! Is this your first time?”
  • “That teacher DESERVED to be cursed out, okay?”
  • “I didn’t even do anything wrong…”
  • “Fuck the police.”
  • “They put me in here just for being late…”
  • “Did you actually bash the principal’s car?”
  • “A little thing like you managed to beat the crap out of someone?”
  • “You look like you don’t belong in here.”
  • “This is prison.”
  • “I tried to stab a kid with a pencil.”
  • “They think I’ll learn my lesson in here? I’m going to do it again.”
  • “All I did was a little graffiti.”
  • “I’m taking a nap.”
Real advice

So a lot of you on here are teens and might be getting ready to be out on your own. Here are some things I learned the hard way or that are just good to know.

  • Never smoke or quit if you are currently. The cost of addictive smoking is more than half your groceries a month AND the bodily cost will surprise you.
  • Drink water. Yeah okay I know this one sucks but water is much much cheaper than soda, trust me. Your skin will thank you.
  • Send thank you cards. Don’t have any? Get the cheap ones and send those. It doesn’t matter how nice they are, the fact that you sent a thank you card matters. Send it for gifts, people calling you to check on you, those adults who helped you move, and even people who interview you.
  • Withhold 1. Okay so speaking of jobs, on your forms (US) where you are trying to figure out your tax withholding, put one. Yourself. It’s an easy way to make sure you don’t owe $2,000 in April and you still get a pretty decent check. 
  • No pets. If you don’t have a pet now, don’t get one. It’s super hard to get an apartment that will let you have a pet when you are first starting out. Wait until you are a bit older and can afford to rent more than a one bedroom apartment. 
  • Insurance. You’re young, so why do you need life insurance? Because that’s the best time to get it. Yeah, it’s a dumb expense to pay right now, but if you get it early, you can afford it. The longer you wait, the more expensive it is. Car insurance is going to be high for a few years, but it will drop around 22 and 25 years old. Health insurance usually comes through your job and please don’t ignore it. Renter’s insurance is usually pretty cheap and it covers you if there is a fire or natural disaster and you have to go back home to mom.
  • Off brand. This goes for food, clothing, makeup, and cleaning supplies and just about anything else you can think of. For food, Aldi’s is your best friend. I can go fill up a cart of just food and it will cost maybe $70. the same amount of food at Walmart is easily over $150. You can of course be picky, but try to get the majority of your food off brand. Hygiene products too. Goodwill is great for clothes, but plan a trip. Save like 60 bucks and drive near a big city where the rich people live. Go to the goodwill there. You can basically get an all new wardrobe for pennies on the dollar. Makeup is tricky. It can be really really expensive but you don’t really have to buy all of it name brand. Pick whats most important to you. I prefer eye shadows and lipsticks name brand and I deal with everything else from the drugstore. With he right techniques, you can make it look expensive. As for cleaning, I always use dollar tree stuff minus my laundry detergent because of allergies. Bleach, stain spray, and vinegar are gonna be your best friends,.
  • Car. Okay so yeah, that brand new car is nice and sure, maybe you can afford it. For now. Disaster will strike. Something will come up and bam, you’re stuck choosing if you want to walk everywhere or eat. Try getting a slightly used car, such as one of the ones they let people test drive a lot or a car that has previously been leased. Just as nice and much MUCH cheaper. And I have gotten THREE cars with no down payment so don’t let them tell you you can’t. But it is nice to put it down,even $100. 
  • Negotiate. Don’t be afraid to haggle with people. Yeah it’s intimidating but it’s 10 minutes of your life versus hundreds of dollars a year. What can you negotiate? Almost anything. Car payment. Rent. Insurance. Hospital bills. Even due dates for the bills you can’t negotiate on. Also, if something comes up where you have to skip a payment on something, call them. Give them like $25 and explain your situation. Ask if your payment date can be moved with the $25 as a goodwill promise to pay the rest later. It works. They would rather move your date than send you to collections. 
  • Collectors. Okay so this one is tricky. If you have fallen behind and owe a collector, don’t fret. I do too, even as I write this. Owing a collector means that the original service has been paid (health bills, credit card ect) and you are now paying the people who paid your bill. (I know it’s confusing) however, they will usually want the entirety of what they paid for you in 6 months. Meaning if they just paid a bill for you that was $3,000, they are gonna ask for $500 a month. That’s rent. That’s crazy. Tell them outright what you can afford and don’t lie about it either. If you can afford $100, tell them that. If you can afford $50, tell them that. If you can’t afford to pay them anything when they call you, let them know when you can. If you can’t afford it when you told them you could, don’t answer your phone to a number you don’t know. I know that sounds horrible but if you are renting an apartment, renting a car, and literally own nothing, they can’t do much to you. Just pay when you can and try to maybe pick up some extra shifts at work to make a payment. I have been dodging collectors for about three years. I owe I think three right now. I pay ONE of them a month, but it’s a large payment to keep them quiet for a while. I do not suggest this for you, I am just letting you know what I do.
  • Credit Cards. Okay, the big one. Many adults will tell you to never ever get a credit card and that’s just not feasible in this world. However, it can be addicting to be able to go to Walmart when you are negative in your bank account and get that $10 movie. I mean, it’s just 10 bucks right? WRONG. It will build up fast and soon the one credit card you have will be maxed. So you have to get another for emergencies. And another. And so on. So here’s my advice; Get a credit card through the same bank as your checking and tell them to put a limit on it and not let it raise. Then lock that sucker away and forget you have it until a real emergency comes up like a flat tire, short on money for groceries, or that collector that hasn’t been paid in 4 months. You can make it on one credit card if you are strict with your money, which I am sure you don’t have a lot of.
  • Budget. Speaking of money, write out a budget for yourself. Don’t know how? Here’s the easiest way. Most people get paid bi-weekly so here’s how to do it. Make two columns, Check 1 and Check 2. If you have a full time job you know about how much your checks are going to be so put the amount at the top of each column. Now that hard part - figure out what is due when. Is something due June 1st? Take it out of check 2 (end of May). Is something due May 14? Take it out of check 1 (beginning of May). That main thought process behind your budget is that you want to have the money for a bill set aside before it’s due. Paying a bill a few days early is a great way to make a good financial reputation for yourself and for some things even build credit. Now if you get paid bi-weekly, you will sometimes have a month where you get 3 checks. DON’T BLOW IT. Put it right back into your budget as Check 1 and keep the flow going. If you prepay bills, like your car or your rent or your credit card, and stay a month a head of those big ones, you may need that wiggle room later. If your car, for instance, is paid ahead 1 month, you can use the car money you would normally pay that month for maybe some extra groceries or some small emergency without using your credit card and you won’t even fall behind! You’ll just be back to owing every month instead of being ahead. It’s like a savings account without the temptation to blow the money. 
  • Simplicity. Enjoy simple things. A gym is expensive, go for a walk instead. Cable is expensive, pay for internet. Phones are expensive, get on a family plan (there is no shame in staying on your parent’s plan, just pay your share). Food is expensive, enjoy leftovers. Movies are expensive, go early and resist any snacks. Shopping is expensive, go to the mall and spend all day trying on cute clothes and taking selfes in the dressing room (makes you feel like a million bucks sometimes!). Time is expensive because you don’t have a lot of it so If you want to stay in bed all day on your day off, do it. If you want to binge on your day off, do it. If you want to just play board games with friends on a Saturday night with a few beers, do it. Simple fun is way better for your pocket and your anxiety.
  • Mental Health  - speaking of anxiety, make sure you take care of your brain. Go outside, even if it means sitting on your steps. Wake up early, even for just an hour. Don’t burn yourself out at work or school because you will suffer the consequences. Make a schedule. If you have trouble with timekeeping, ask for help. If you feel you do have a real mental disorder, see if your employer has what’s called and EAP program (employee assistance program). They usually help you find a mental health provider and give you a few visits for free. This will help you narrow down what exactly you have and after you’re free visits are up you can see who is in your health insurance network that can provide you the mental care you need. if you are prescribed drugs, always get generic. If there is no generic, ask for an alternative. I will not lie to you, mental health is the hardest thing to treat. It took me 8 years and a lot of money to figure out the right medication cocktail for me and my bipolar/ schizophrenia (yes I have both). Turns out I only need two pills, and if I were to refill both of them right now, I wouldn’t even pay $10 thanks to my health insurance (which sucks but at least it’s there) and because I got generics. Also, talk therapy can be pricey but sometimes only a few sessions can change your life. I have literally only been to talk therapy 11 times in my life and that was to deal with PTSD, bipolar, schizophrenia, and suicidal tendencies. 11 sessions. That’s 11 hours. And yeah, I paid over $400 out of pocket for those collectively. But if I hadn’t I would probably be dead right now so it was worth it.
  • Connections. Calling your friends is awesome because sometimes, it’s free therapy. And okay, maybe you’re 19 and you still have a horrible relationship with your parents. It’s okay. I am 25 and I still have problems with my parents. My whole family actually. Social media is a kind of safety net for me because that’s where I can be myself. Find where you can be yourself, it will help you stay sane.
  • Clean. Sometimes when I feel crappy, I take a shower. I clean the living room. I do the dishes. I vacuum. I mop. I open the windows. I get the trash out of the house. Change into some clean clothes. Organize my desk. Clean out your closet and put all your unwanted clothes in bags to donate. Just a small amount of cleaning can make you feel like you accomplished something. 
  • Hobbies. This one is a little hard too. It depends on your personality, your budget, and how much free time you have. Drawing , singing, and writing are free. Exercising can be free if you run or walk in the park. But most hobbies do actually cost money. Video games, playing an instrument, painting, sewing, cooking/baking, making things - those all cost money. Some of them lots of money. But you have to have a hobby outside of social network, sleeping, and working. It’s another thing to keep you sane and it’s just a good idea.
  • Toxic people. Do not be afraid to cut people out of your life that do nothing but make you feel bad about yourself or insult your life. This could mean breaking up with your partner, unfriending a person from your social circle, cutting out a whole circle of people, or even not talking to a relative(s). It’s not easy for some people but if they do not build you up, they will only tear you down. 
  • Drink at home. Okay so this one might sound like a no brainer, but I’ll explain it anyway. Packs of beer and hard liquor bottles are cheaper than a pint and a shots at the bar. Bottles of wine are cheaper than a glass at a restaurant. It’s never okay to drive drunk or even after one bottle of beer. NEVER. Staying at home is cheaper all around and you can drink in your pajamas while watching Finding Nemo on loop. Or invite some friends over and create a drinking game out of a show, a game you already have, or just talk and drink. 
  • Sleep. This one is so important. You need a good bed and a quiet, dark place to sleep. If you are scared of the dark, get a night light. Can’t sleep in silence? Get a fan. I have both of these and they help. You’re brain will feel tired if you ‘slept’ for 12 hours but only got 1 hour of REM. REM can really only happen every night if you are in a calm and dim environment. Quality of sleep will effect your eating habits, your emotional state, your mental stability, and your ability to make rational decisions among other things. 

So these are obviously just a few things, but I feel they are important to share. Please feel free to add any and reblog it for those about to enter adulthood. 

Official Graveyard Shift Lyrics

Rats
Well Mrs. Pharmacist / I insist / fix me up with something quick
I’ve been a bad little boy and I think i’m getting sick
Sick to the bone / slave to the flesh
Better put on my Sunday’s best      
I’ve been bad little boy… little boy

I’ve got a dirty dirty dirty dirty dirty little secret
And I’m not not not sure that I wanna keep it
So we feed ourselves lies to submit to the shadows
Cause we just wanna dance under our pretty perfect halos

Everyone’s got a secret
Whats yours? whats yours?
Don’t be shy, i’ll never repeat it  

Oh Mrs. Pharmacist / if I resist / lock me up and bind my wrists
You’ve been a bad little girl…. little girl.    
Close your eyes and listen close
I know just how much you love it
If you speak you lose your turn
So shut your mouth before I fuck it

Everyone’s got a secret
Tell me all about yours

Love. Hate.
Oh how we play the game
Cold soul
No sense of self control
Love. Hate.
Unsure to pass or play
Cold soul / now  we’re out of control

Roses are red, and my heart is black
We creep about the floor to indulge like Rats
Enraptured, we walk to nurse our obsession
Cause the roles that we play are paved with cruel intentions

Well  Mrs. Pharmacist… If you insist

I’ve got a dirty dirty dirty dirty dirty little secret
And I’m not not not sure that I wanna keep it
So we feed ourselves lies to submit to the shadows
And I just wanna shake you by your little perfect fucking halo

Everyone’s got a secret
Whats yours? whats yours?
Don’t be shy, i’ll never repeat it.


Queen For Queen
If you wanna soar with vultures, you’ll have to swallow bone
The saint charade is over / plastic royalty exposed
You wanna play the victim, to preach upon your throne                                  
No semblance of virtue as your relevance erodes

We go queen for queen  and move just like this

When you fall down
Will you back out
As you crawl through life with no crown?
Though you preach love, you package lies
Just a pawn in a kings disguise

I never said I’m perfect, there’s a guilt behind these eyes
So check me If it helps you fall asleep at night

Your skeletons are building / your closet’s getting tight
Are you the prey or spider in the web of all your lies?

When you fall down
Will you back out
As you crawl through life with no crown?
Though you preach love, you package lies
Just a pawn in a kings disguise

Don’t stop breathing in the chemicals
You don’t know humble… though you play the role
Pockets of evergreen are your amphetamine
Please stop feeding what you can’t control

YOU’LL FALL.
You’ll bend, you’ll break, (you’ll) trip over your “fame”
Be careful, or you’ll run your mouth off your face


Necessary Evil (Feat. Jonathan Davis)
Strip off the weight of morality, and check it at the door
I’ll show you the worst in me
…what i’ve become
 
Blow out the candles I need not a wish
For I am everything
Now crawl to my boots and lick
Kneel before me

Imma have my cake and fucking eat you too.

It’s my party and i’ll die when I want to, die when I want to, die when I want to
The monster you’ve made is wearing the crown
I’ll be the king and you be clown
I’ll take the blame (and) parade it around.
You’ve made me the villain you can’t live without.

Reciting violence like poetry
No you can’t sit with us
Too fashionably plain  
Now say my name
Forget everything you think you knew of who I used to be
I look much better as… as the enemy

Imma have my fucking cake and eat yours too.

I want you low
I won’t let you die
(I’ll) keep you alive
Just to remind you of what you are not

It’s my party and i’ll die when I want to
you wanna see me fail, but I won’t die for you.


Soft
You’re mine motherfucker

Let me begin with envy’s a sin
You’ll have to find new words to invent
Cause I’ve heard your broken record, and i’m not impressed

I love when you talk, I just use it to drive me
I won’t let your judgement define me
I’m not broken, so don’t fix me
I want you to hate me

Tell me what you’ve lost
Hang me on your cross
If you’re so wise, then why are you so Soft?
Do you leave your “throne” as you cast your stones?              
I’m above living under your microscope

I’m insane, I’m “insane in the membrane”
I wanna fuck your face with a switchblade
I’m not broken, so don’t fix me
I’ll leave you behind me

Internet killed the video star

Cry baby cry baby, did I just hear you whimper?
Cry baby cry…
Suck my middle fucking finger

Cry baby / Cry baby
What have you done lately?
Cry baby / Cry baby  
What have you done?

Tell me what you’ve lost.
Demonize my flaws
Do they call you when dumb needs a mascot?
Do you leave your “throne” as you cast your stones?              
I’m above living under your microscope

You dilate / god of your existence
Begging me to listen while you “pray”
Swallow in vain / sliver spoon religion
Closer from a distance

You’re mine motherfucker


Untouchable
They try to bend / they try to break me by design
But I am the nightmare that will haunt you in the light

If it’s war that you want… then I’m ready to play
And the world’s gonna know my name

Through everywhere that I go
Every failure I’ve owned
Every crack in my bones
I’m Untouchable
Like a sleeping grenade
Built to blow you away
Pull the pin… I explode
I’m Untouchable.

Born of the ground I dug myself out from the dirt
With every scar I will avow to shake the earth

Unless it’s blood that you want.. then get the fuck out my way
Cause the world’s gonna scream my name

I will never be silenced
I will eclipse the pain

You can’t let it go      
(It’s) the price that we pay
But I own the grave from which I came
You reap what you sow
We don’t bleed the same  
Cause I own the rights to my own fate
And i’ll sleep a king on my deathbed

Through everywhere that I go
Every failure i’ve owned
Every crack in my bones
I’m Untouchable
Like a sleeping grenade
Built to blow you away
Pull the pin… I Explode
I’m Untouchable.

Every mile from home
Every failure I’ve owned
Every crack in my bones
I’m Untouchable
Like a sleeping grenade
Built to blow you away
Pull the pin… I Explode
I’m Untouchable.


Not My Type: Dead As Fuck 2
She’s got no soul / heart black as coal
She’s from Hollywood Forever / dug her out of a hole
And here we go again / spinnin me in her web
She said “there’s just no rest for the queen of the dead”

Another trick to treat with candy apple dreams
Gonna rot her teeth cause i’m so sweet
One lick to rule them all
They crumble as they crawl

She loves me cause I like to give head like a zombie
(I) eat eat eat till her insides are on me
She loves me cause I give head like a zombie
(I) eat eat eat and nobody’s gonna stop me
And in the glow of the pale moonlight
She goes for a spin on my haunted hayride
Tried out the living but I don’t believe the hype  
Cause if she’s got a pulse, then she’s not my type.

She’s got a temper in stock / made of hemlock
Uses absinthe as a lip gloss
Death hawk / fresh New Rock’s                              
She’ll use your corpse as a catwalk

She’ll use your corpse as a catwalk
Plays truth or dare in the mirror
Uses absinthe as a lip gloss
Undead, but won’t shed a tear

She’s my graveyard baby
She’s my……

She loves me cause I like to give head like a zombie
(I) eat eat eat till her insides are on me
She loves me cause I give head like a zombie
(I) eat eat eat and nobody’s gonna stop me
And in the glow of the pale moonlight
She goes for a spin on my haunted hayride
Tried out the living but I don’t believe the hype  
Cause if she’s got a pulse, then she’s not my type.

D- E - A - D  
If she’s got a pulse, then she’s not my type.


The Ladder
Tragedy / a poisonous lover
You infiltrate to destroy
Vanity / a cancer unforgiving
A charlatan with poise  

Fool me once / enough is enough
Was I more than a step on your way up?
Hollowed out /  I’ve no semblance of love
Now you’re just somebody that I used to fuck.

Lest we learn / the tables turn / so i’m betting out / I’m betting out.
You can be the prey in your masquerade, but i’m getting out / i’m getting out
There’s nothing left to repair

Ravenous / self righteous and lurid
But how much more till you break?
Scavenger / so fucking undeserving
You slither in just to take what you can take

Counterfeit / I’m calling your bluff
Was I more than just a step on your way up?
Now you’ll burn and you’re flesh out of luck
Now you’re just somebody that I used to fuck

Lest we learn / the tables turn / so i’m betting out / I’m betting out.
You can be the prey in your masquerade, but i’m getting out / i’m getting out
Against insight I fed your source of revenue
But now, it means nothing to me to mean anything to you

Open grave /  I was too blind to see
That “love”, spelled to you, is “F A M E”

You fuck your way up the ladder
Going down on your way to the top
Do your arms ever tire?
Or do they heal while you climb with your mouth?  

Delete Everything
Sever the yearning / you can keep the fucking ring
Delete Everything
You can keep the fucking ring

Nothing left to repair.


Voices
Voices in my head again
Trapped in a war inside my own skin
They’re pulling me under.

I’ve swallowed myself but the fever remains
I’m numb to the pleasure but still feel the pain      
If I showed you my soul, would you cover your eyes?
If I told you the truth, would you dare me to lie?  

I keep it all inside because I know that man is every thing but kind

Voices in my head again
Beating me in a war I can’t win  
I can hear them now
Trapped in a game inside my own skin
And I don’t know myself anymore
They’re pulling me under
Voices

As I walk through this valley of shadows and death
I curse not the “wicked”, I praise not the “blessed”
If I told you the truth, you’d beg me to change
If fear were a currency, you’d own the bank

I don’t want to live so calloused and frozen / ugly and hopeless
I don’t want to live forever, I just want to live right now
You can’t take me from me

I keep it all inside because I know that man is everything but kind


LOUD (Fuck It)
You gotta be loud / You gotta be rude / so the world can hear you
You gotta be crass / You gotta be cold / it’s everything we know
Turn it up turn it up now

Another day, a double shot of hate
Drink it up like gasoline
Underpaid, you graduate, to build somebody else’s dream

With a noose as a tie… do you fantasize of a much different life?  
The fix for who they want you to be / directly streamed to your TV

And when they turn their backs on you…

You gotta be loud / You gotta be rude / so the world can hear you
You gotta be crass / You gotta be cold / it’s everything we know
Turn it up turn it up now
Loud / Rude / When nobody hears you
You gotta stand up / You gotta commit
Say “Fuck It”, make the best of it

A broken home you’re trying to mend
You’ve got one day left to pay the rent
We’re not sure, but we believe in the lie… that it’ll all be fine, when we die

It’s so easy to grant the mirror power to control what you want to erase                      
Don’t become another victim / “Put a smile on that face”

You gotta be loud / You gotta be rude / so the world can hear you
You gotta be crass / You gotta be cold / it’s everything we know
Turn it up turn it up now
Loud / Rude / When nobody hears you
You gotta stand up / You gotta commit
Say “Fuck It”, make the best of it

The money’s in the treatment, baby, not in the cure
So they fuel your pain with fear and shame and then hand you a brochure
The money’s in the treatment, baby, not in the cure
So they build you up to watch you fall and then beg for an encore

What are you waiting for?


570
Burn it down / brick by brick / Made in 2006
Lost and found / losing grip /  I needed this
Question me not, for I gave up everything
Forget me not, cause I’ve not forgotten what this means

Strip me down, tear me apart, you’ll find one theme left
No sign of stopping till my veins rust
Strip me down, tear me apart, you’ll find one thing left
I fucking know where I came from

..And nothing can replace those lessons learned
as I stood with my brothers on the side of the road
No longer haunted by the skeletons
No longer haunted by the past

For so long, it’s all i’ve known
I’m crossing over the undertow
For so long, no one was listening
Determined to make their deaf ears ring

Miles repeat / my worst enemy… is me.
But then four soon became six… to shatter the canvas
Handed nothing / loss pulling the strings
Outlived the dead trends / united by distance

I’ve been to hell and back, with no promise of return
So I made friends with fire, to keep from getting burned
No money, no sleep. dedication
10 years on the road this is sacred
And when i’m facing a wall, I do not quit
…Cause if you mean it, you will make it.

Pulled apart in a world so demanding
I’m still here, still standing
I’ve sweat blood from Stockholm to Scranton
Still here, still standing.

You can always rinse the surface, but the stain will remain

For so long, it’s all i’ve known
I’m crossing over the undertow
For so long no one was listening
I did my time

You live / you learn / you defy the terms, but this house will be my home
Beguiled / betrayed / it’s the price we pay, as trust will be our tomb

If you mean it, you’ll make it.


Hourglass
I’ve watched the whole world drowning in chemicals
Dissociative / but it takes it’s toll
Can I surpass time, or would I start to rust?
Depreciating / collecting dust

And I fear myself as I fall away  
In a cold deluded sense of fate
When the nightmares come, and the doubt sets in
Will the fever break, or will I burn from within?  

It’s too late to feel, I’ve lost my breath
With the hands of time around my neck
Am I more than the pen that wrote the past?
Or am I just the sand enslaved by the Hourglass?

Will I live again, or will I fade to black?    
Dehumanizing / when the heart attacks      
Will I expire before my dreams unfold?
But if the futures so bright, the path should glow

As the walls melt
and the light fades
I’m letting quicksand take me

If you look beyond the blindfold
You’ll find the hole in my soul
One fear, one mind, no hope, no time
If you look beyond the blindfold
You’ll find the hole in my soul

I’m on the edge of my seat
Holding out for a sign
Trying to rewrite the storyline

It’s too late to feel, I’ve lost my breath
With the hands of time around my neck
Am I more than the pen that wrote the past
Or am I just the sand encased in the Hourglass?

Fear is not my fate


Eternally Yours
Blow the bridge to the past / wipe the fingerprints
Melt your heart encased in wax / steal it with a kiss
Our fate engraved / scar enslaved / as we mutually destruct
Repose, my love, i’ve sinned enough for the both of us

In the name of love…..

I’m ready to bury all of my bones
I’m ready to lie but say I won’t
So tell me your secrets / and join me in pieces
To rot in this garden made of stones
Eternally yours

I feed like you taught me and selflessly swallow
We coalesce in darkness, so selfishly hollow
Examine the wreckage / writhing in tempo
Invisible anguish casting a shadow  

and in the name of love…

I’m ready to bury all of my bones
I’m ready to lie but say I won’t
So tell me your secrets / and join me in pieces
To rot in this garden made of stones
Eternally yours

As we rest in pieces, though I know not your name
I would suffer forever to absolve all your pain

And in the name of love

I’m ready to bury all of my bones
I’m ready to lie but say I won’t
So tell me your secrets / and join me in pieces
To rot in this garden made of stones
Eternally yours

I’m ready to bleed to make amends
And sleep in this dirt we call our bed
So tell me your secrets / and join me in pieces
To fall and rewrite the bitter end
Eternally yours

I’m more than willing to rot in hell with you.

Hello - Newt x Reader

Prompt: A little drabble! Soulmate AU where everyone is born with the first words their soulmate says to them tattooed on their wrist. Reader is completely fed up with her quest to find her soulmate, as the only hint she has is the incredibly vague black letters that have always been stamped across her wrist.

Warnings: Swearing, bullying, use of alcohol, harassment and unwanted advances

God, you hated your soulmate tattoo.

What sort of a soulmate tattoo was “hello”? You had detested it your entire life. What vague-ass higher power had decided when they gave you your tattoo to stop at “hello”? How would you know for sure when you met your soulmate? Couldn’t they have elaborated a little bit? Just a few more words? A proper sentence that you could actually recognize your soulmate with? But no, you were stuck with the most common greeting in the English language tattooed permanently into your skin. Hello. What absolute bullshit.

Every time someone greeted you with that simple phrase, your eyes would narrow, you would square your shoulders, and you would spit back the most distinct and unmistakable response you possibly could. You were not going to be the soulmate couple that had “hello” on both of your wrists. Your lucky, lucky soulmate probably had something ridiculous, like “Whatever you say,” or “Did you know that a hippopotamus’s sweat is red?” because you absolutely had to stand out, and you made sure that your replies to “hello” always did. There was no other way to be sure that anyone and everyone who said “hello” to you wasn’t your soulmate.

What a useless tattoo.

All throughout your school years at Ilvermorny, you were completely embarrassed to show people your tattoo. Unfortunately, when your classmates found out, they had great fun sending people you had never spoken to before up to say “hello” to you.

Your reaction was always hilarious, so they kept doing it. Your responses ranged from “Go fuck yourself,” to “Nice try guys, but I’ve already spoken with her before,” to straight up punching one student right in the jaw when he got a little too friendly with his hands as he delivered his “hello”.

You started to feel a little bad for your actual soulmate as your replies increased in hostility. They probably had a particularly colorful quote of yours. “Go to hell,” perhaps, or maybe “Who the fuck put you up to it this time?”

When you graduated, your defensive nature had thankfully melted a little. You had switched to solely offering people fun animal facts whenever they said “hello” to you, and it was far less stressful. “Seahorse mates hold each other’s tails so they don’t lose each other,” was a favorite of yours, as was “Cows have best friends.”

One evening, you were at a bar with your roommates Queenie and Tina, and you were in no mood for advances from anyone. You had decided to date, as many people with soulmates do, just to pass time while you waited for your soulmate to arrive, but your recent significant other had found their soulmate and left you in the dust. It was incredibly depressing, and you just really wanted a drink.

A man waltzed up to you, sliding into the chair beside you and offering a hand to shake. “Hello,” he said with a grin. You looked over at him, as annoyed as you were drunk, and reached out to flip his arm over and look at his wrist.

“Alright, let’s get this over with I’m not in the mood to think of a fun fact,” you grumbled, pulling back his sleeve to look at his wrist.

It wasn’t really with disappointment that you read the words “I’m so sorry I ran over your dog,” in black ink on his wrist, and you patted his hand drunkenly.

“Good luck with that one, buddy,” you slurred, getting to your feet and heading toward the door. He blinked after you, bewildered, and then returned to his drink.

Such was a usual encounter for you, and by the time Tina dragged a certain magizooligist into your home, you were sick and tired of your goddamn animal facts.

“Queenie, (y/n)!” Tina called out to you. You peeked your head around the corner where you were helping Queenie mend dresses, and you saw with a pang of confusion that Tina had brought two men along with her.

Queenie voiced your amazement, grinning and chirping “Teenie! You brought men home!”

You approached your friend, not bothering with the fact that you were clad in only a slip, and you blinked at her in disbelief. “Who are they?”

“This is a no-maj, and this is Mr. Scamander. He’s responsible for his injuries,” Tina said wearily, pointing her finger at the sweaty, overwhelmed man who offered you a disoriented half-smile before fixing his gaze back on Queenie, who giggled.

Mr. Scamander gave you a little wave. “Hello,” he said.

You let out a slow puff of air, your frustration resurfacing as your hand shot forward to grab his wrist. “Merlin’s Beard, just show me the goddamn tattoo,” you grumbled without thinking. You were in total shock when you slipped his sleeve back and found yourself face-to-face with your own words.

You looked up at him with wide eyes, and he looked just as startled. A hush fell over the room, and you felt your face grow hot. “Sorry about that,” you mumbled apologetically, unable to drop your gaze from his.

“That’s quite alright,” he said softly, his lips twitching upward in a small smile. “It’s quite the conversation piece,” he teased, and you found yourself chuckling.

“You had better be worth all the trouble my ridiculous tattoo has caused,” you teased back. The other three people in the room were watching the two of you, completely taken aback.

“I think for the most part people usually find me to be more trouble than I am worth,” he confessed, his eyes sparkling.

You dropped his hand at last, your face red and your heart pounding with embarrassment. “We’ll see about that,”

This is such a silly idea but I had to write it down so here u go

def not my best work but I hope u enjoy!! I literally didn’t even proofread this so it’s probs full of errors and bad transitions but pls enjoy this dumb little drabble!! (two fics in two days, who am I and what have I done with puk)

I Don’t Mean It (pt 9)

Taehyung ran as fast as his legs could take him, not worrying about who noticed him this late at night on the streets. He couldn’t believe how all these events had played off. He couldn’t believe he didn’t trust you, especially when you told him that you didn’t do it. The image you crying kept replaying in his head as he ran towards the building. He was suddenly scared to approach you. 

He thought back to the conversation you both had months and months ago. You both sat on the couch, while you had the TV on in the background as the two of you chatted. That was the first night that Taehyung realized he had fallen in love with you. The way he was so comfortable to open up with you and how you felt the same about him. It was like a connection he never felt before. 

He remembered you saying that you value trust as one of the single most important things in your life. And once that trust was broken, it would never be whole again. 

Not only did he probably break your trust, but he felt like he broke you too. He remembered the words he yelled at you, now realizing how hurtful they really must have been. 


As soon as Taehyung reached his building, he was waiting for the elevator with what little patience he had left. Seeing as you both lived on the 8th floors, he thought the elevator was his best bet but it seemed to be taking longer than usual. Just as he was about to start running up the stairs, the door belonging to the landlord on the first floor opened. 

Out came a rather old man and Taehyung knew he had to at least say hello, even though he wanted nothing more than to run up. 

“Oh hi there Taehyung…you look rather out of breath,” said the landlord

“Oh…haha yeah sort of” said Taehyung, awkwardly fiddling with his hands, waiting to be excused.

“Oh..you must have been helping your neighbor bring boxes down!” said the landlord. This caught Taehyung’s attention. 

“N-neighbor?” Taehyung asked.

“Oh yes! That lovely girl next door to you boys. She said she was moving soon” said the landlord.

Taehyung didn’t even say anything before he rushed up the stairs, knowing he had to stop you at all costs. He ran to your door and before he knocked, he tried to catch his breath and tried to think of what he was going to say to you. He knew earning your forgiveness was no easy task, but you would always forgive him in the end…right? You both had a few small arguments here and there but you had always forgiven him without much effort on his part. Would this time be any different?

Taehyung finally knocked on the door, anxiously waiting for you to open the door. While waiting, he thought back to all the times you opened the door for him with the biggest smile on your face. Was he wrong for wanting that again?

He could hear the door unlock and he let go of a breath he didn’t know he was holding. Thankfully you were home. 

“You’re ear–” you said, but stopped as you finally saw who was at the door. You were expecting the movers to come by today, but you were surprised to see Taehyung at the door. You gulped, wondering if he had wanted to come to yell at you some more. 

“You..you’re moving?” Taehyung asked. He didn’t mean to start with that, but he couldn’t help himself when he noticed all the cardboard boxes that stood behind you.

You only stare at Taehyung, confused with the tone of his voice. You didn’t know what to say. “Y-yes” was all you could bring out.

“w-why?” he continued.

“I don’t have any reason to stay anymore” you said, tears starting to well up in your eyes again. Before he could say anything else, you tried closing the door on him, but he grabbed the door and pushed it back. He let himself in and you stared at him, wide-eyed.

“Y/N.. I’m so sorry” he said looking directly at you. His tone was guilt ridden. He almost couldn’t meet your eyes after noticing the tears, but he knew he had to stand his ground.

“For what exactly?” you say emotionless. If it weren’t for your tears, you could have been mistaken as a statue. 

“For..what I said before. I- I don’t know what I was thinking” Taehyung started, finally tearing away from your eyes as it was getting to much to take.

“You were thinking that I was some low-life scum who was only friends with you to make a few bucks” you said, finally letting the tears flow freely down your slightly rosy cheeks.

“No..I don’t think that of you. I didn’t mean it” Taehyung started pleading as he inched closer to you.

“No, you did mean it” You said, backing away when you noticed him trying to get closer to you.

“Y/N, please, i’m so sorry. I shouldn’t have said the things I did…I’m so sorry” Taehyung continued. His stomach started to turn when he thought that there was the chance that you didn’t forgive him this time around. “I heard my manager. He said he made the whole thing up to keep us apart, Y/N please….” he tried again.

You snickered back. “So…you only believe me now because you heard the truth from your manager….otherwise you still wouldn’t have taken my word. Am I right?” you said, with a sudden anger surging through your veins.

Taehyung thought about it for a while, and he knew that a part of what you said was true. He didn’t believe you when you said you didn’t do it, and he knew that he didn’t plan to hear you out either. But a part of him also wanted to keep on holding onto you, even if you had betrayed him.

When it took him a while to reply, you continued “I guess I have my answer….please leave” you said, wiping the tears away from your eyes.

“No, Y/N please hear me out. Please, I’m begging you. Just forgive me this one time please? You’ve always forgiven me in the past, Y/N please” he pleaded, tears threatening to form in his eyes.

“You didn’t want to hear what I had to say, which I should do the same for you?” you asked as you glared back at him.

“I was dumb, Y/N you know me. I always make stupid mistakes, but you always found it in your heart to forgive me. Please, just this one last time, forgive me. I don’t want to lose you….There’s so much I wanted to tell you….” he said as his voice cracked a little at the last part.

You didn’t like seeing Taehyung like this. You always had wanted him to have that box smile on his face, and be the little ball of happiness that he was. But you didn’t know if you could ever be the same with him again. If he doubted you then, what’s to keep him from doubting you in the future? He broke your heart before you even had the chance of giving it all to him, before he even knew that it already belonged to him in the first place. Now, you were just trying to pick up the pieces of your shattered heart, hoping that one day it will be like it was before. 

The eerie silence once again filled the room. Taehyung tried to walk to you again, hoping that he just had you in his arms, you could find it in yourself to forgive him. But you stuck your hand out, signaling him to stop.

“No. Leave.” you said firmly.

“Y/N…p-ple” he started

“LEAVE” you screamed back. You let out your sobs and fell to your knees, not having any more energy to continue.

Taehyung wanted nothing more than to run to you and hold you. To let you cry into his arms as he would probably cry back into yours. But he knew that you weren’t going to let him near you, even in your current position. He didn’t want to, but he walked out of your door, finally letting the tears fall. His vision blurred from the tears as he walked back to his own apartment, just a few feet down.

He walked into the silent and dark room, not bothering to turn on the lights. He felt his phone buzz in his pocket, but he already knew that it was just the boys looking for him. 

Eventually, the phone stopped buzzing after a few minutes and Taehyung plopped himself onto his bed, finally letting his own tears fall freely.

He just lost you. He lost the girl who he feel so deeply in love with. He didn’t even have the chance to tell you how much you meant to him, or how much he wanted to make you his. Instead, he took the heart he wanted to badly and broke it. He didn’t know why chose to believe his manager’s lies, because deep down he knew you would never do something like that. But it scared him nonetheless. He thought that if his manager was right, then he would end up hurting. So he hurt you instead.

And now here you both were, lonely, in pain, and broken.


A/N: So like…The series is not over. For those of you guys who like pure angst, and don’t want a happy ending, then I suggest you stop here. In the future part(s), I’m writing with the intention of a happy ending. Do y’all want part 10? What do you think is going to happen to Y/n and Tae?! Let me know~ I love hearing from y’all. The support I’ve gotten from this one series has been amazing and it’s been so much fun writing for you guys. Part 1 has reached over 1.8k notes and I’m still in awe. 

Previous Parts: Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8

Problems with the Witchblr Community

There are some serious fucking problems occurring on this website, like:

  1. Peoples’ grimoires are way too artistic. Like seriously you all need to tag that shit like “hey this may trigger you because this Van Gogh beautifully-crafted art style might blind you and gush your morality with its beauty and cause your perspective of your own grimoire/BOS to wilt like a flower on fire”. I don’t take the time to even update my BOS, never mind decorate it with these gorgeous illustrations.
  2. The quality of pictures are way too high. I don’t know where people are getting all these professional cameras. Like I take pictures with my phone or shitty Samsung and post them, and I know I wouldn’t even reblog that shit, the quality is way too low. This results in a standard of high quality Instagram-worthy pictures that is too high for me to keep up with, y’all need to lower your photography skills.
  3. Peoples’ altars are too perfectly positioned in the sunlight, like bathing in the holiness of the sun or moon and washing any of vestige of mortality away from that spot. This kinda weaves into the photography complaint but basically, y’all stop being so artsy.
  4. Digital sigils are too easily and perfectly displayed. I don’t know how people make those sigils, it’s like an elusive angelic society that just sprinkles down talent and useful spells like falling stars. Seriously y’all need to post a how-to on that shit because I don’t have a tablet and just take pictures of hand-drawn sigils, but even those who post their hand-drawn sigils draw them incredibly better than I draw my sigils. 
  5. The witches on this site are way too creative. They’re all thinking of tips and techniques I never thought of before, and it makes everyone else feel dumb because they didn’t think of them first.
  6. Pretty much every witch on this site seems to have a green thumb. They say taking care of plants doesn’t require a green thumb, but I beg to differ because pretty much every plant I own dies. Like I don’t know if it’s because I’m a death witch and am literally radiating death energy, but I can’t keep plants alive for my own life. Green witches gotta share their real secrets, HOW are you keeping your plants alive.
  7. Then there are some problems like elitism, transphobia, homophobia, racism, nazism, blatant disrespect for peoples’ religions and cultures, the hatred with which we argue, and the fear that I’m always being scrutinized and that no matter what I say extreme SJWs will cherry-pick the things I say and misconstrue my argument into something i never said in the first place so i might as well just not even say my opinion on anything which i’m doing right now so i’ll just shut up and continue the joke
  8. The spooky and ethereal Witch Aesthetic™ is too on point. All the hanging herbs and lit candles and smoke from incense are too entrancing and immediately calm my mood and cause me to daydream about the eloquence of the witchy aesthetic. It’s too romanticized. It causes me to enjoy my own craft too much, and I reblog too many of them. We need to cut those down by a bunch.

Just had to get that off my chest.

✰ * º ❛ even more popular text posts ask meme. ❜

‘  my kink is getting some fuckin sleep.  ’
‘  omg here goes your lil crybaby ass.  ’
‘  the beatles wouldn’t even fucking exist if big time rush hadn’t paved the path for them so shut the fuck up.  ’
‘  don’t start buddy. don’t you dare.  ’
‘  gay rights? true, as a gay, i am always right.  ’
‘  not to vent, but: fuck.  ’
‘  the worst pain is to make small talk with someone you once told everything to.  ’
‘  i think i accidentally break my own heart a lot.  ’
‘  sometimes ‘brb’ stands for ‘be ready bitch’ so you have to be careful.  ’
‘  i want to kiss you in a way that makes you not want to kiss anyone else ever again.  ’
‘  shout out to the people who are still friends with me even though i’m a fucking idiot.  ’
‘  it’s safe to assume that at any given moment i want to go back to bed.  ’
‘  i’m a big fan of anything that will help me chill the fuck out.  ’
‘  i don’t go through people’s pictures on their phone cause i wasn’t raised in the jungle.  ’
‘  i think we, as a people, just need to have a glass of water.  ’
‘  i don’t have enough black clothes.  ’
‘  sweetie, i could sleep for ten years and i’d still be tired.  ’
‘  i would sleep so much better with your arms wrapped around me.  ’
‘  me??? tired??? sleepy??? yes, constantly.  ’
‘  i’m pb&j – petty, bitter, and jealous.  ’
‘  the fact that sloths aren’t extinct somehow proves that if you go at your own pace and mind your own fucking business you too can succeed.  ’
‘  i wish i could be the person i want to be, but i’m too tired.  ’
‘  i always look sleep deprived. is that hot?  ’
‘  just because there’s always room for improvement doesn’t mean you’ll never be good enough.  ’
‘  my heart is a soft and sensitive mess.  ’
‘  all i want is a big garden and no responsibilities.  ’
‘  honestly someone not liking beyonce is a deal breaker and not for any political reasons, but just like you’re probably, definitely really boring.  ’
‘  hey guys, i’m a huge fan of genuine love and affection.  ’
‘  now i’m falling asleep and she’s calling a crab and he’s having a smoke and she’s kissing the crab.  ’
‘  i’ve been ever since i heard ‘lonely’ by akon at 9 years-old.  ’
‘  my new years resolution is to stop.  ’
‘  i’m irritated cause i’m not lovable in a romantic soulmate way.  ’
‘  i hate knowing that people that ruined parts of me still live and function like nothing ever happened.  ’
‘  i know i’m cute, but you can remind me.  ’
‘  hey, just wondering, but are you fucking kidding me????  ’
‘  i can’t wait to be in love with someone who is also deepfuck in love with me and we love each other forever n’ ever.  ’
‘  me? clingy? yes. please don’t leave me.  ’
‘  girlfriend application compatibility question: do you keep your depression pile on the bed or on the floor?  ’
‘  anything heart shaped is automatically 200% better. this is a fact.  ’
‘  today’s agenda: screaming into the abyss.  ’
‘  going from ‘today is a good day’ to ‘i hate my life’ takes me approximately 2.6 seconds.  ’
‘  everyone needs to wash their face and go to bed.  ’
‘  i’m worth so much more than the ways i’ve been treated.  ’
‘  hey, can i claim you guys as dependents on my taxes?  ’
‘  i really just ignore phone calls. like leave a message. i don’t check those either but like  ’
‘  i honestly just want to pack my bags and go travel the world and see and explore everything possible.  ’
‘  remember being little and thinking dandelions were fun or a pretty color or something and every adult in an 80 mile radius wouldn’t let you say that without screaming IT’S A WEED.  ’
‘  why did we just accept catdog?  ’
‘  my ‘stay in bed all day’ game’s too strong.  ’
‘  you deserve to be loved without having to hide the parts of yourself that you think are unlovable.  ’
‘  i always forget that i literally don’t owe anyone anything!  ’
‘  i wonder what it feels like to know what the fuck is going on.  ’
‘  honestly… us girls? us women? we always out here, knowin.  ’
‘  would an alien think i’m pretty?  ’
‘  i love boys, but only as a concept.  ’
‘  why do parents get mad when you sleep in all day? like i’m staying out of trouble and i’m not spending your money like what’s the issue here????  ’
‘  i identify as an inconvenience to the world.  ’
‘  i seriously regret telling anyone, anything, ever lmao  ’
‘  dating me is like dating a five year-old. i need all of your attention and i’m cranky if i haven’t had a nap.  ’
‘  i’m literally tired of myself.  ’
‘  don’t introduce me to ur parents unless you plan on marrying me because they’re going to love me and ask about me for the rest of your life lol  ’
‘  what the hell is a straight person? only straight thing i know about is the edge of my beloved sword.  ’
‘  i highly recommend never having feelings.  ’
‘  self care is going into a cornfield at night to get abducted by aliens.  ’
‘  staying up late with another human is such a weird thing like you get this special bond and a what-is-this feeling  ’
‘  do u ever feel like ur not even friends with ur friends?  ’
‘  um no offense but whom’st’ve going to loveth me?  ’
‘  date a girl who fucks everything up.  ’
‘  not all who mcfreakin wander are mcfreakin lost.  ’
‘  i may legally be an adult but don’t be fooled. i have no idea what i’m doing.  ’
‘  a fun and interesting fact about me is that i’m a fucking idiot.  ’
‘  you can start again anytime!  ’
‘  all you can do is learn your lesson. there’s no point in wishing you had did differently. the past is the past.  ’
‘  i can’t believe an angel like me has to suffer so much.  ’
‘  you’re all so obsessed with love and being loved. what about just going to sleep?  ’
‘  i’m smart, but i do dumb shit anyway.  ’
‘  tbh i never deal with my emotions. i just let them ravage my body and then go to bed and then i wake up and do it all over again.  ’
‘  first of all: i don’t know shit, so jot that down.  ’
‘  i’ll just ¯\ _(ツ)_/¯ my way through life.  ’
‘  i’m tired of things costing money.  ’
‘  don’t you hate it when you’re dead inside and run out of apps to refresh?  ’
‘  who cares? do better, move on.  ’
‘  i don’t need a significant other. just a significant income.  ’
‘  appreciation for everyone who’s ever talked to me bc i’m annoying and dumb.  ’
‘  thnks fr th mntl llnss.  ’
‘  what  hasn’t killed me has just made me overly sensitive and defensive.  ’
‘  i don’t know shit ya’ll!!!!! i’m just out here.  ’
‘  binge-watching is great until you run out of the show and have to start watching it weekly like some sort of medieval peasant.  ’
‘  i’m in the wrong realm and i think everyone can tell.  ’
‘  this might come as a shock but I’m Not Feelin too good my dudes.  ’
‘  i’m alive, but only ironically.  ’
‘  there she goes again being over dramatic and by she, i mean me.  ’
‘  do you ever feel like have tried Too Hard to a friend and now you have become That Obnoxious Weirdo?  ’
‘  lgbt: lasagna! garfield’s beloved treat.  ’
‘  my favorite phrase in the english language is ‘i shit you not.’  ’
‘  i’m a real boring bitch! a snoozer!  ’
‘  i honestly look so good lounging in an oversized t-shirt and no pants. when will someone experience the blessing of domestic living w/ me?  ’
‘  you don’t understand how hard it is to take a selfie when you’re ugly.  ’
‘  you son of a mumford!  ’
‘  hi, i’m here to ruin everything.  ’
‘  you can tell a lot about a person by looking at their hands. for example, if it’s a skeleton hand then they’re dead.  ’
‘  the year is 2020 and i am found guilty of treason against the united states for vague blogging that i hate someone and donald trump thought it was about him.  ’
‘  everybody calm down, we’re going to be fine! :))) we’ve weathered worse than this! :) :) :) :) really all this panic just seems like a huge overreaction imho   ’
‘  no beta readers. we publish our crap writing like men.  ’
‘  i need $$$$$ not feelings.  ’
‘  ‘idk imma see’ = i ain’t coming, never was coming, never considered it, never gave it a single thought, only remembered cause you asked again.  ’
‘  oops, i don’t care lol  ’
‘  why girls always crop the halo out of their selfies? stop being so modest. we know the truth.  ’
‘  maurice, you’re not gonna fucking believe this,  ’
‘  i always get told i look like a bitch bc i’m always glaring while i walk, but i’m not glaring, i’m squinting. i have sensitive eyes. they’re watering.  ’
‘  concept: it’s 3 am. candle lit room. a record is spinning. you’re kissing me. we have no worries in the world. we’re warm and content.  ’
‘  i need to go into the forest and scream for an hour and a half.  ’
‘  pls kill all men who yell at girls from cars.  ’
‘  life really isn’t what i expected it to be. less quicksand. almost no quicksand to be honest. lots of metaphorical quicksand tho.  ’
‘  i have a question for u: like are u done… like is it over?  ’
‘  we all have that one person who ruins your day by being alive.  ’
‘  we all have that one person who ruins your day by being alive. for me, it’s myself.  ’
‘  whenever i see police i always try not to act suspicious and fail internally even though i never did anything wrong.  ’
‘  new years resolution: less bitter, more glitter.  ’

AMERICAN GODS SENTENCE STARTERS

episode one - the bone orchard. ( contains violence and nsfw themes )

  • ❝ no expertise can surmount a sea that does not wish you to reach shore. ❞
  • ❝ wind can be reasoned with. ❞
  • ❝ celebration was cut short. ❞
  • ❝ only good thing about being in prison is the relief. ❞
  • ❝ tomorrow can’t do anything today hasn’t already managed. ❞
  • ❝ this country went to hell when they stopped hanging folks. ❞
  • ❝ no gallows dirt, no gallows deals. ❞
  • ❝ you know, i’m not superstitious. ❞
  • ❝ i don’t believe in anything i can’t see. ❞
  • ❝ i feel like there’s a fuckin’ axe hanging over my head. i can’t see it, but i believe it. ❞
  • ❝ i can see it fine. ❞
  • ❝ prison has a way of trying to keep you in prison. ❞
  • ❝ i smell snow. ❞
  • ❝ i love you. something feels weird. ❞
  • ❝ i love you too. what feels weird? ❞
  • ❝ the air feels constipated, like if it’d just push out a storm, it’d be okay. ❞
  • ❝ a hundred twenty hours till you’re home. ❞
  • ❝ waiting for the sky to fall is gonna cause more bother than the sky actually falling. which it isn’t. ❞
  • ❝ do not piss off those bitches in airports. ❞
  • ❝ i guess this must be your lucky day, huh ?
  • ❝ you nervous ?
  • ❝ just sit back and be a bird. ❞
  • ❝ i offer you the worm from my beak and you look at me like i fucked your mom
  • ❝ you’re just the first person i’ve met who isn’t an asshole. ❞
  • ❝ give me time. ❞
  • ❝ what would you have done, my boy
  • ❝ seems like a firm decision made for good reasons, i can respect that. ❞
  • ❝ you lost something vital in there, and not just time. ❞
  • ❝ what might i call you, if i were so inclined
  • ❝ always good to meet a fellow traveler. ❞
  • ❝ i usually end up getting what i want. on average, over time. ❞
  • ❝ it’s all about getting people to believe in you. it’s not their cash, it’s their faith. ❞
  • ❝ now, what’s keeping us aloft ? faith ? or newton ?
  • ❝ don’t rush into this, take your time. ❞
  • ❝ there’s always work for a big guy who’s smart enough to know he’s better off letting people think he’s dumb. ❞
  • ❝ by the end of your tenure, you could be the next king of america. ❞
  • ❝ a man gets out of prison, he should be focused above all on not going back. ❞
  • ❝ believe. ❞
  • ❝ i don’t think i have the talent for it. ❞
  • ❝ you … like me
  • ❝ i’m not what i once was. ❞
  • ❝ you’re perfect. ❞
  • ❝ i don’t know what i’m doing. ❞
  • ❝ what man does ?
  • ❝ do something for me. worship me. ❞
  • ❝ worship me. pray to me like i’m your god. your goddess. ❞
  • ❝ you feel so good. i could keep fucking you forever. ❞
  • ❝ say my name. ❞
  • ❝ beloved, i worship your breasts and your eyes and your cunt. and i worship your thighs and your eyes and your cherry red lips. ❞
  • ❝ i am yours, my beloved. ❞
  • ❝ go on, let go ! give me everything !
  • ❝ i love you. ❞
  • ❝ not that rushing into things can’t be a good thing … ❞
  • ❝ sex rushed into tends to work out best for all involved. ❞
  • ❝ okay, i’ve said ‘fuck off’ politely as many ways as i’m gonna. now i’m fixing to be direct. ❞
  • ❝ what the fuck do you know about [ ] ?
  • ❝ more than you, it seems. ❞
  • ❝ i’m not gonna work for anyone who’s got worse luck than me. ❞
  • ❝ call it. ❞
  • ❝ rigged games are the easiest to beat. ❞
  • ❝ you’re a little creepy, and you’re forward, and familiar, and i don’t like it. i don’t like you. ❞
  • ❝ who’re you ?
  • ❝ i’m a leprechaun. ❞
  • ❝ we don’t come from moscow, russia. or moscow, idaho, for that matter. ❞
  • ❝ no details. ❞
  • ❝ devil’s in the details. ❞
  • ❝ do you know who he is ? who he really is
  • ❝ he’s hustling you. he’s a hustler. ❞
  • ❝ damn right. i’m a hustler, swindler, cheater, and liar. it’s why i need assistance. ❞
  • ❝ name your price. ❞
  • ❝ how’d you do it ?
  • ❝ with panache. ❞
  • ❝ simplest trick in the world. ❞
  • ❝ i’ll fight you for it. ❞
  • ❝ win or lose, and you will lose, it’s yours if you fight me. ❞
  • ❝ can you feel the joy rising in your veins like the sap in the springtime ?
  • ❝ i wanted to be a part of your history. ❞
  • ❝ it’s just anger ––– makes you feel like you can change the outcome. ❞
  • [] had the nerve to ask me what i wanted him to do with it. i told him leave it where it found it. ❞
  • ❝ target would be more interesting than here. ❞
  • ❝ if there isn’t some kinda life after death, i’m gonna be so fuckin’ pissed. ❞
  • ❝ there is no closure from the dead. ❞
  • ❝ i’m sorry for your loss, [] , i really am. anyone tell you that yet ? anyone even hug you ?
  • ❝ hear me out, this is a good one. lex talionis. an eye for an eye. a blowjob for a blowjob. ❞
  • ❝ jesus, who knew i could be so angry ?! 
  • ❝ i am trying to get my dignity back here
  • ❝ don’t fuck with me, [
  • ❝ what’s he doing here ? what’s the plan ? what’s the game plan, man ? ❞
  • ❝ how auspicious, you must be special. ❞
  • [ ] is history. forgotten and … old. ❞
  • ❝ we have reprogrammed reality. language is a virus. religion, an operating system, and prayers are just so much fucking spam. ❞
  • ❝ the dominant fucking paradigm, [] , that is the only important thing. ❞
  • ❝ by the way, i was sorry to hear about your wife/husband. tough break. ❞
  • ❝ so, i will ask again: what is it [ ] is up to ? ❞
  • ❝ you saying you don’t know ? … would you tell me even if you did ?
Soulmates (AU) Part 2

Pairing: Harry and Y/N

Word Count: 2677

Prompt (AU) : Harry took his anger out in sex-and you weren’t supposed to do that. He would go to the bar and find others just as terrible and lonely as him, drink, and then sink his sorrows into anything with breast and a hole were to put it. Niall always rolled his eyes the next morning and say to Harry “you’re a proper dick, yeh know that right?”, to which Harry would lift his middle finger up and respond with, “if soulmates are real she would love me anyhow.”

“Harry when you meet her your life will change,” Anne says, handing him a cup of tea.

Harry rolls his eyes, “I don’t care to meet her. It’s all bullshit,” Harry grumbles.

Part One


There were very few things that bugged Y/N in life. Y/N hated when people didn’t use their turn signals when driving, or when people walked too slow in front of her, or when people rolled their eyes or stared at her, but she absolutely loathed when people wouldn’t respect her choice and try and force her to talk. It was clear, crystal clear, that she wasn’t much of a talker, and yes or no questions where the good route to go, but when people edged her on she got upset.

For example, Harry just couldn’t wrap his mind around how his other half would not utter a single word to him. Y/N had written down on a whiteboard that she was ‘mute’ and would really prefer if Harry stayed away from the label. She explained that even though he was her soulmate (and she would love to be open with him) talking just didn’t seem like something she was ready for.

She watched as Harry rolled his eyes, crossing his arms, and frowned. She could feel his annoyance (literally) and she wanted to stub her toe on the table just to tick him off, but she felt like it was rude and she didn’t want to put herself through the pain as well.

“So like what? I’m supposed to spend the rest of my life with someone who won’t talk to me?” Harry asked, his eyes on her as she walks down the hallway of her apartment complex.

Y/N shrugs, ‘learn asl,’ she signs.

“The fuck does that mean?” Harry spat.

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Dear White People.....

Y’all, really have been trying me lately, so with inspiration from the movie and Netflix show and all shit that has been happening lately, here is a list of things to not do or say to POCs

*DISCLAIMER* THIS IS NOT A RACIST POST! THIS IS JUST AN INFORMATIVE POSTOF THE SITUATIONS THAT POC PEOPLE DEAL WITH! PLEASE DON’T BE STUPID

Dear white people

-I am not a petting zoo. When my hair is curly, don’t randomly come up to me and start touching my hair without asking me. It’s rude and disgusting.

Dear white people

-If I see you with cornrolls, don’t tell that it’s a “style and that anyome can wear”. NO! Having braids isn’t just a style to us, it is our culture and there is a reason for why we get out hair braided.

Dear white people

-Don’t you ever fucking say “well its culture appropiation if you straighten your hair” because now you sound dumb. Here’s a fun fact, POCs can have naturally straight hair too.

Dear white people

-If you support Miley Cyrus on her “transitioning” back to her old self, don’t talk to me, don’t follow, unfollow, I don’t care. I will NEVER support a person who culture appropiated and then talks about is it was just a phase and that she doesn’t do that kind of stuff. It pissed me the fuck of that she could just sit here and “rap”. To us, rap isn’t just entertainment but it is an outlet for us to  give out messages on all of the this we go. She really just disrespectedall that we have done, made it into a shit show to get ratings, and tossed it away like it’s nothing.

Dear white people

-Stop telling me “you talk proper for being black.” EVERYONE TALKS A DIFFERENT WAY SO SHUT THE FUCK UP!

Dear white people

-STOP FUCKING CELEBRATING CINCO DE MAYO, IT IS NOT OUR HOLIDAY!!

Frankly, I don’t even know if Mexico considers it as a holiday, but we should not be sitting here, “celebrating” anothers country’s victory, from a battle they had to fight,

How would you feel if other countries went out and “celebrated” Memorial Day by partying, getting drunk, wearing Trump shirts, talking with country accent, while listening to Taylor Swift.

Yeah, now y’all quiet.

Dear white people

-DON’T FUCKING SAY NIGGA!!!!!! I DON’T CARE IF IT IS THE SONG, DON’T FUCKING SAY IT!!!!!!!!!!

Dear white people

-If there is a post about a POC, DO NOT: Comment, retweet, or reblog, with the comment of “all peopl are this…” NOBODY FUCKING ASKED YOU, AND THAT IS NOT THE POINT OF THE POST! IF THE POST SAYS “BLACK WOMEN ARE BEAUTIFUL” JUST GIVE IT THE CLAP EMOJI, THE HEART EYES EMOJI, THE THUMBS UP EMOJI! THAT’S IT!!!! NOTHING MORE!!

Dear white people

-I’m allergic to watermelon and kool-aid is disgusting.

Dear white people

-My braids do not indicate that I smoke weed. I actually have asthma, so even if I did want to, I’d die.

Dear white people

-”I’m not trying to be racist, but….” THEN DON’T FUCKING SAY IT!!!!! SIMPLE AS THAT!!!!!!!!

Dear white people

-Once you get done asking me “is there anything I can help you find” and I answer with “no thank you”, leave me the fuck alone and go help Debbie in the panty department! I don’t want to see your face while I am in the juniors department, I don’t see you while I’m at the makeup counter, I don’t want to see while I’m at the shoe section. I’m not stealing shit so leave me that fuck alone!

Dear white people (makeup companies)

-I’m pretty sure that there are other names for darker foundations than just food

-Nude colors do not just stop at the pale pinks.

-Please make fondations with yellow undertones, because I am so tired of looking like Trump, when the foundation has an orange/red undertone.

-How hard it to find a POC, to do swatches on them!?!? Like come on! I want to know how it will look like on my skin tone, before buy it!

-I’m going to need y’all to go back to school and you know what Rich, Deep, and Dark look like.

Dear white people

-My race is NOT a fetish, stop it with the ra.ce pl.ay shit!

Dear white people

-My race is NOT A WEAPON! STOP “FEARING” FOR YOUR LIVES!

-My race is NOT A SCAPE GOAT! IF I AM YOUR FRIEND, DO NOT USE MY RACE AS AN EXCUSE TO DO INAPPROPIATE THINGS!

-My race is NOT UP FOR DISCUSION! I am black, native american and caribbean. Don’t tell me what I am because of my skin tone. That goes for all other races and ethnicity.

So is what I have dealt with, within the last month and all my life. I hope you guys take something out of this.

Also to POCs, if there is anything you want to add, feel free to.

i genuinely have a lot of thoughts on the hunger as a final boss, and how the final form it takes will reflect on the general philosophy of the podcast as a whole piece of art. i really like the way jon/the hunger has been written so far, because I think the only way to make a villain this abstract interesting is to make  their motivations equally abstract. philosophically it’s kind of true that if you reach a certain point from a certain perspective, destruction and ascendence can often seem like the same thing, and I think griffin is going down a very smart path by keeping his heroes normal, grounded people–the suffering game arc and this arc are doing that very effectively. it’s worth noting that so far the 7 crewmembers (and especially THB) are holding up the tolkein-esque ideal of the average, small person who can stand outside a seemingly abstract conflict where temptations and power seem insurmountable and still make rational moral decisions—not inhumanly perfect decisions, but extremely human decisions (or elvish or …dwarvish decisions. you get me.). and maintaining this balance is even more of a conscious decision when you consider that the game mechanics of d&d would 100% result in the characters going “god mode” if that was the choice griffin and wanted to make. i also am really, really feeling how much this show cares about art, as dumb as that sounds–i actually can’t think of a single piece of media that treats creativity as a palpable, powerful essential force in the universe, and that’s really fuckin cool. and while I wasn’t sold on the whole ‘bonds make up the universal power’, i think it’s becoming clear that what that actually means is that living, and more over living your life as a differentiated individual who relates to other differentiated individuals, is what runs the universe. that’s different than “the power of love”–it’s actually a middle finger in the face of a moral relativist “we are all the same and therefore no one is anything” philosophy. i can’t wait for the finale. 

“Baby Stark”

Pairing: Tony Stark x Reader

Summary: After returning to New York, Tony is greeted with surprising news that has potential to change his life.

A/N: another one from draft-purgatory. lol i’ve never written for tony stark, and i i struggle to capture his swaggering tone. however, but i thought it would be fun to write for a slightly softer tony stark.

His elbows resting on the metal railing surrounding the large helicopter landing pad, Tony Stark skims his eyes over the beautiful aerial view of Manhattan. A relaxed smile perks onto his lips as the familiar clamor of the concrete jungle sinks in. “It’s good to be back,” he hums to himself, taking in the majestic view carved around the Avengers Tower.

After rapping his knuckles against the metal railing, Tony saunters down the glass walkway leading into the tower, the eery silence reminding him that everyone is on a mission. He’s about to greet F.R.I.D.A.Y. when a smile enters his view, one that he isn’t expecting.

She sits on the counter of the bar, her legs elegantly crossed despite the restrictive nature of her pencil skirt. The sunlight streams into the room through the glass windows, creating a natural glow about her. A coy smile perks onto her lips as Tony’s drinks her in, his lower lip getting caught between his teeth as his eyes dance up her legs and body. She’s the most alluring girl he’d ever seen -he’d thought so two years ago when they first met, and he still thinks so now- and it’s one of the many reasons why he’s infatuated with her.

“I thought I told you not to wait for me,” He grins, glad that she ignored his request.

“I couldn’t wait until dinner, and I wanted to be here when you arrived. Is that such a crime?” (Y/N) hops off the counter and saunters towards him. She cups his cheek in a way that makes Tony feel like he’s the only person in the world.

“Well, counselor, I recommend -” His words are cut off as (Y/N) yanks the lapels of his jacket to bring his face towards her for a kiss. Tony laughs against her lips, but the laugh quickly gets drowned out by a rough growl as she lightly bites his lower lip. A smile creeps in around the edges of her kiss as she slides her hands down his muscular back. A nip of teeth, a glide of tongue, and she easily has him under her spell.

It’s only a matter of time when the need for oxygen brings the kiss to an end. Tony gently knocks his forehead against (Y/N)’s. “Remind me to always bring up a counterargument, because baby, I could get used to that,” he drawls.

(Y/N) laughs, a devilish glint lighting up her eyes. “Welcome back to New York, Mr. Stark. It’s been a while.” Her hand dangerously inch south as she brings his ear to her lips. “That was a little preview of what’s going to happen tonight.”

He feigns exasperation as (Y/N) playfully smacks his ass but twirls out of his arms before he can do anything. A low noise escapes his throat as she shoots him a sexy smile over her shoulder while kicking off her “ball-busting stilettos”, as she calls them.

Tony leans against the wall and watches (Y/N)’s shadow dance in the glow of the sun. Two years into the relationship, and he still gets butterflies. His fun, beautiful girlfriend, the skyline of the most magical city in America, wonderful weather - his life is perfect and Tony wishes it would stay this way for a long time.

“As much as I love pencil skirts, I need to change,” (Y/N) announces. “I have workout pants in my bag, but could I borrow a shirt or sweater?”

“Baby, at this point, you’ve stolen over half of my comfortable clothes. Why do you even bother asking?”

(Y/N) smirks and plants a kiss on his cheek before sashaying towards the door of Tony’s private apartment. Before she opens the door, she turns to him. “T, I have something to tell you.“

"Mmhmm,” Tony hums, pulling out his phone from his pocket.

“I probably should have told you, but I was kind of scared of how you would react. I thought it would be wise to tell you when you were back in New York.” She hesitates for a bit, her fingertips drumming against the doorframe. “Promise not to freak?” she asks, a slightly icy look glazing her eyes.

A small alarm rings in his head, but Tony maintains a calm expression. “I promise. Did you max out my credit card?” he jokes.

(Y/N) rolls her eyes but relaxes a bit, which pleases Tony. “No, and I never will.”

“My wallet thanks you, baby. But what’s up?”

“Tony.” She swallows. “How do you feel about becoming a dad?”

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Mixed Black African Girl (Cameroonian/French)

I’m a mixed black african girl who grew up and lived most of her life in Cameroon, in Central Africa. My dad is half-white (french) and half-black (cameroonian), and my mom is 100% cameroonian. There’s little to no black african characters in popular fiction, which has always bothered me, and it would be so nice to read about someone like me for once.

  • Culture and food

Cameroon is a country created during colonization, with borders defined by europeans. Because of that, Cameroon is actually made of 200 ethnic groups, each of them having their own language and culture. So the culture and daily habits vary a lot depending on which region of Cameroon you are in. In the big cities, though, everyone is mingled no matter where they’re from. However, so many different ethnic groups cohabiting together often causes tension. There are also a lot of stereotypes about every ethnic group.

I grew up in the central and coastal areas of the country, and I’m Bassa. The Bassa are one of the main ethnic groups in Cameroon. If your parents are from two different ethnic groups, it is decided that you officially belong to your father’s ethnic group. My mother is Bakoko but my father is Bassa, so I’m the latter. When I meet another Cameroonian, two of the first questions we usually ask each other are : What are you (meaning, what’s your ethnic group) ? and Where is you village ?

Villages are very important in the Cameroonian culture. Your village is where your father’s ancestors were born. Even if you’re not born there, you usually have grandparents or great-uncles or family friends living there, and if you have enough money to do so you must regularly visit your village. And usually, when people earn enough money, they send money to their village so that people living there can have a better life, build more houses and schools etc.

Cameroonian food is very diverse, and varies depending on the region. The national dish is Ndolé, a dish made with ndolé leaves, stewed nuts, and meat (fish, beef or shrimps). Other common foods are bobolo and miondo (food made out of fermented manioc), soya (spicy grilled meat on skewers), and plantain. My dad is half-french though, so at home we eat almost as much french food as cameroonian food (crème brûlée, shepherd’s pie, beef bourguignon, A LOT of bread and cheese).

  • Language

There are hundreds of different languages, but the official languages are French and English. Cameroon was colonized by France and England so Northern Cameroon mainly speaks english and central/southern Cameroon mainly speaks french. Most people also speak their ethnic group’s language. I don’t know how to speak Bassa, though, because neither do my parents. When me and my siblings were kids, our dad asked our baby-sitter to teach us, but she could only do so much and I only remember a few words.

  • Beauty Standards

Like most countries, there is a lot of colorism in Cameroon based on European beauty standards. When you’re a woman, the lighter you are, the prettier and more desirable you are considered. Dark skinned women are often mocked and considered not as pretty. A lot of people, mainly women but also men, use dangerous products to lighten their skin. Internalized racism and white beauty standards are very insidious, and a lot of people want to look like white people, including me when I was younger. As a kid I remember wishing i was a pretty blonde-haired blue-eyed white girl like the heroines of the books i was reading. Growing up I stopped wishing that, but I relaxed and straightened my hair a lot, wanting to have long straight hair without realizing that it was still an attempt to look like the ideal version of a white girl. I’m sure that if I had more black female characters to relate to when I was growing up, I wouldn’t have spend so many years hating myself without even realizing I was doing it.

Also, Cameroonians usually consider thick, curvy women to be the ideal beauty standard. But being thin is still an ideal broadcast by the media (especially that american and european media are heavily broadcast and consumed in Cameroon) so most women still diet a lot and go to the gym to lose weight.

  • Clothing

Women wear a lot of skirts and dresses, be it casual or for work. Most cameroonian schools have uniforms and mandatory hairstyles (either cornrows or short shaved hair).

Elderly people often wear more traditional clothes and outfits. The most prominent traditional item of clothing is the Kaba. The Kaba is a long dress made of wax fabric and other materials and is owned by pretty much every woman. The dress looks different depending on the situation : the Kaba you wear when you stay at home is usually very long and very loose, the Kaba you wear during official/formal events is more tight-fitting and stylized, etc.

  • Dating and Relationships

I’ve never dated anyone, but when I was in high school none of my friends ever told their parents they were seeing someone. Having your parents know about and meet the person you’re dating after only a few weeks or months is something that just doesn’t happen (unless someone gets pregnant). It’s when things get serious that you introduce them to your family. Also, a lot of parents would prefer their children to marry someone from the same ethnic group.

Homosexuality is still illegal there, and you can go to jail for being gay.

  • Home/Family life

My parents are still happily married, and I have 3 siblings. My parents are both close to their siblings, and I’m close to mine. Me and my siblings grew up with our cousins, we were always at each other’s houses. I pretty much consider most of my cousins as extra siblings. We have a very big extended family and every day I discover new distant cousins, aunts, great-uncles etc. My dad being half-french, when I was growing up we sometimes went to France during summer to visit his relatives living there.

In Cameroon, most people who have enough money to do so send their children to study abroad once they’ve graduated high school. I’m currently living in France for my studies, and most of my high school friends are also going to college in France, England, Canada, Brussels, South Africa etc.

  • Identity issues

Despite being only ¼ white, I’m very light-skinned. My siblings being much darker skinned, when I was a kid I thought I was adopted (i’m not, it’s just genetics). Cameroon being a black country, when someone is visibly mixed and light-skinned as i am, most people just label them “white”. A lot of people would refer to me as “the white” and it always really hurt me. My family wouldn’t understand why i was so angry and hurt, they’d say “they don’t mean anything by it, it’s just that you’re light” but the fact is it made me feel like i don’t belong. I’m cameroonian, i’ve lived in Cameroon almost my entire life, i’m black, and still some people see me as “other”, they see me as white. And so for a long time, I didn’t dare to call myself black, I’d say “I’m biracial” or “I’m mixed” instead because I somehow felt like a fraud. But I’m black and not white-passing at all, and I still experience racism abroad (but I’m aware I have a lot more privilege than dark skinned people).

  • Daily struggles

So I’m currently living in France. On one hand, sometimes white people are racist toward me, or just totally obnoxious and ignorant, trying to touch my natural hair and thinking that people in Cameroon don’t have computers or whatever. On the other hand, when I randomly meet other cameroonians and we start talking, they always assume that because i’m mixed i’ve lived my entire life in France and i don’t know anything about Cameroon. And there’s nothing wrong with being a child of immigrants and not knowing the country your parents or grandparents came from, but i know that if i wasn’t visibly mixed they wouldn’t question the fact that i know Cameroon and lived there my entire life.

  • Misconceptions

Because of how the media depict African countries, a lot of people think that everyone in Africa is extremely poor and starving, that we don’t have electricity and internet and that everyone lives in huts. Which is so false. We have rich people and poor people, we have huge modern cities and regular cities and small villages with huts, almost everyone has access to a tv and internet, etc.

  • Things I’d like to see less of

Cameroon and other african countries being depicted as poor unfortunate countries where everyone is starving and illiterate and waiting for the generous white people to save us. What we need is for people to see us as the humans we are, and to allow us to grow in peace.

  • Things I’d like to see more of

Black african characters being written as the complex human beings we are. Shy black african characters. Nerdy and hella smart black african characters. Mixed black african characters who struggle with their identity. LGBTQ black african characters.

  • Tropes/Stereotypes I’m tired of seeing.

The “savage”, “uncivilized” african. African characters who are aggressive, dumb and shout all the time. The poor africans in need of saving by white people.

Read more POC Profiles here or submit your own.