what am i doing with my free time

When despair for the world grows in me
and I wake in the night at the least sound
in fear of what my life and my children’s lives may be,
I go and lie down where the wood drake
rests in his beauty on the water, and the great heron feeds. 
I come into the peace of wild things 
who do not tax their lives with forethought
of grief. I come into the presence of still water.
And I feel above me the day-blind stars
waiting with their light. For a time
I rest in the grace of the world, and am free.
—  Wendell Berry - The Peace of Wild Things
3

{03/02/2017}

English annotating of Gatsby Texts - also my trip to the Winchester Christmas Market in December (which i miss already) 

The amount of work I have to do is making me panic constantly…No free time at all! Also got my exam questions for my Photography exam project and the questions are so bad *cries* what am i supposed to do with boxes! 

A (little) Killing Stalking Rant

I’m not sure where to begin, to be quite honest. I just found out that apparently there is a chapter 18 despite everyone thinking there’d be a break after 17 and of course I instantly read it. Now me being my obsessive, overexcited self instantly went into the tag to see what kind of funny shit this precious fandom came up with this time only to be…well disappointed is such a hard word but I kind of am. Not because the jokes were repetitive (they were, but that is not the point) but because the fandom seems to be split in two entirely and I don’t understand why? Or why people have the need to constantly shade one another. 
Anyway, feel free to ignore this, but I’m going to voice some of my (probably unpopular) opinions.

1) Ji eun is a major bitch and I do not understand why people are glorifying her for punching Sangwoo in the face like she is some sort of hero. She didn’t do it for Yoonbum, but to save her own skin. It also didn’t show guts or anything, just her will to live. I wanna bet that all the girls he chopped off before her tried much the same. Nothing special, moving on.

2) That being said, she most certainly is not a bitch for offering to have sex with Yoobum. In a situation like this, live or die, every last one of us would probably offer much more than sex, trust me on this one. Nothing is more precious than survival, it’s in our DNA to do our best. That being said, she is still a bitch for offering to basically RAPE Yoobum to safe her own skin. Bitch is selfish, not a hero. Yoobum obviously wasn’t down for the idea of getting fucked by her.

3) I really do not understand how people are still surprised that most of the fandom ships Sangwoo and Yoobum. Nor why people are surprised that most of the fandom loves Sangwoo. We basically got half of the explanation for this coming from Sangwoo himself in Chapter 18: He’s pretty so people are drawn to him. Where is the big deal? It’s a cartoon, for heavens sakes. It’s not like we have a bunch of real life Harley Quinn’s running around the street. Now for the shipping part, this one REALLY goes over my head. I literally saw comments about getting help and getting Jesus being thrown around and shit like that irks me for many many reasons, but I digress. We see the story through Yoobum’s and Sangwoo’s eyes. OF COURSE WE ARE ROOTING FOR THEM! Not just them as a couple but them as people! I’m 99% sure that we are supposed to! Yoobum loves Sangwoo so we love Sangwoo.
Yoobum loves Sangwoo, so we want him to get Sangwoo.
We love Sangwoo so we want him to be happy.
We love Sangwoo so we want him to succeed in his murder spree. 

I was happy when he killed that asshole in the last chapter and I most certainly am looking forward to seeing Jieun being killed by either of them, really, because that is what Sangwoo (and Yoobum) want and since I see the story through their eyes, I want that to. Does that mean I’m about to go out and start killing people? No, because I faint at the sight of blood and really don’t like the idea of taking someones life. Nor the fact I’d get a lifelong sentence, really. Just throwing it in there for good measures. So, it’s safe to say I’m not going to go on a killing spree anytime soon. Still enjoy the deaths.

4) To elaborate on that. I really, really am surprised how people go into this story disliking Sangwoo and the relationship between him and Yoobum. Like you do realize it’s all about that, right? About Sangwoo getting satisfaction by killing and Yoobum getting satisfaction by being by Sangwoo’s side. This story isn’t about character growth , overcoming your mental illness or getting out of the shit situation you’re in. Quite the contrary. It’s about giving in to those primal urges, this quiet need to kill in the back of every humans head. The story is supposed to make us route for the killer and the psychosis and that sick twisted part of them so we end up questioning just how fragile our and societies morality is. I had Philosophy for for a couple of years and morality was a big part of that. I have my own opinion on morality and how it is a mere illusion anyway but that isn’t the point right now. The point is, let go of your false morality and get off your high horse and enjoy the comic called Killing Stalking for what it is! About two psychopaths giving in to their mental state to stalk and kill their prey together. 

 I mean seriously, what did you expect?!

dialogue prompts

FBAWTFT characters - May it inspire some people!


“Tina,” Graves sighs, pinching the bridge of his nose. “What, in the name of God, are you doing half naked in my office?” 


“Take off your clothes!” Newt yells. “Now, Tina! QUICKLY!”


“And then he ran into my wand. He ran into my wand ten times.” 

“Gellert, please.” 


“Are you courting me?” Graves asks, incredulous. “Do you know who I am?” 


“Sir,” Tina’s voice is soft, broken. “There’s been… an accident.” 


“Newt? Why is there a mermaid in the bathtub? I need to get ready for the MACUSA’s annual end of the year ceremony, Newt. Newt get that mermaid out of the bathroom. Newt.” 


“If I take into account their glares and raised wands, I’d say that they want to kill you,” Graves says. Credence smiles dangerously. 

“They wouldn’t be the first. Let them come. I’m not helpless anymore.” 


“You are, without a doubt, the worst criminal I have ever heard of,” Seraphina muses.

“But you have heard of me.” 


“Can we not do this now?” 

“Yes we can and yes we will,” Newt growls. “You’ve been putting this off, again and again and I am frankly tired of you playing hide and seek like we’re five years old instead of grown adults.” 

“This is a stakeout. We’re on a mission.” 

“I care more about saving this relationship than the fucking mission.” 


“Aren’t you supposed to do my biding?” Graves asks, incredulous.

“Not interested, thanks. However, your cat looks cute, so I think I’m gonna stick around.” 


“I can’t believe you summoned a demon into our apartment, Tina. What will Mrs Esposito say?” 

“He’s cute?” Tina says weakly, staring at the man-demon-thing with curly hair and freckles currently sleeping on their sofa. 

He’s a demon.” 


“Let go of me,” Credence snarls. “Let go of me or I swear I will kill you.”

“With what? You’re unharmed. You don’t have a wand.” 


“Ahah, very funny. I didn’t know you were capable of humor, Madam President.” 

Silence. 

“You are joking, right?” 

“You’re fired, Mr Graves.” 


“Is that a phoenix?” 

“Yes.” 

“Why is there a phoenix flying around in the office, burning my paperwork?” 

“It hatched this morning,” Newt says, cooing at the bird. “Come see mummy. Here. Good.” 


“You know what I need? I need a good, old fashioned banging,” Tina slurs, taking off her shirt and stumbling around the room drunkenly until she finally falls on the bed.  

“While I’m not sure who you are or what you are doing in my tent,” a British voice replies, turning on the light, “I’m sure I could help you with that.” 

Tina yells.


“I’m not usually so straightforward,” Seraphina says, “but I’ll be damned if you aren’t the most gorgeous girl I’ve ever met in the entirety of my lesbian life. Can I get your number?” 

The blond waitress - Queenie, her name tag reads- blushes prettily. “U-uh, I, I mean… Sure. Yeah. I won’t be able to text back until 7 though.” 

“That’s fine. Holy shit.” Seraphina takes a sip and burns her tongue in the process. “Thanks for the coffee.” 


lorde said she was gonna release new music in 2016 and yet here, halfway through august, there is still no new album. i have descended into a lorde-gothic state. royals comes on the radio. i think about changing it every time, but i never do. i’m dancing in this world alone. i thought lorde would be here but she isn’t. i’m so tired of being told to throw my hands up in the air but i don’t know where else to throw them. so there. where is lorde. when will i be free? she said me she’d tell me what that big word means, but i am still waiting… she’s little but she’s coming for us. when lorde? when

Spells for Self Confidence and Direction

Power Thoughts

Spend some time journaling. Ask yourself, “what is holding me back the most?” Do not make this about other people! “My friends do not support me” is not a good answer for this exercise. “I am insecure,” “I limit myself,” “I do not support myself,” are all examples of a valid answer. Then, write power thoughts that liberate you from what holds you back the most. Example power thoughts are, “I am secure,” “I am free,” and, “I support myself.” Remember to make power thoughts in the positive tense (“I AM free”) and not in the negative tense (“I am NOT bound”).

Take your power thoughts and relax with them. Think over them carefully. For each negative thought you journaled, you should have one power thought. For each negative thought, there is one chain binding you. Think about these chains holding you back. Speak or think your power thought, and imagine this chain breaks apart and leaves you free. Speak all your power thoughts in a row. Exit your meditation being aware that you have made another step closer to being who you want to be.

Repeat this meditation as often as you want. I repeat mine several times daily. If you do not like the chain imagery, choose your own imagery – my imagery is opening a portal to release negativity from my being. Please be careful because the imagery is a powerful part of the spell, and how you choose to visualize things will have an effect on you. Message me with concerns!

Light My Path

A candle flame is most traditional for this spell, but an LED candle, a flash light, a lamp, or any light will work for this spell. Do try a candle if you can get one!

You are lost in a snowy forest at midnight. You have been driving up the mountain and the road is so narrow and twisty. You are scared of falling off the edge of the mountain. You are scared you missed the house you are trying to get to. You are scared of slipping in the snow.

But wait! There is a light up ahead – a little, glowing, glimmering light. What an incredible feeling of relief. Someone has put a lamp out in front of the house to guide the way. You can see it up the mountain. It helps you find the right dirt road to turn on. It gives you confidence. You can see the way! And several minutes later, when you pull up to the cabin, your friends are waiting with open arms. “We were here waiting for you,” they say. “We put out the light to guide the way.” You get a blankie and a cup of coco.

That is all you need. A guiding light. So we must do a little crazy magic, and place a flame in your future for you to follow. Soon, that guiding light will bring you to your metaphorical blankie and coco. Everything is going to be ok. Just trust me on that, yeah? Everything is going to be ok. Let’s just light that light.

Cast a protective circle, since we will be “going places.” Take your light and bless and purify it, to prepare it for time travel. Meditate quietly and be aware that you are in the present, but that your magic has the ability to reach the future and the past. You don’t need to go mentally to the future, and that would be a bad idea anyway. You don’t know where you’re going, you’ve never been there before; so what if you chose the wrong path and lit up the wrong road?

Focus on your light. Give it some peaceful and loving and secure energies. When you are ready, speak these words or something similar:

“This is my guiding light. When I am lost, it will show me the way. When I need help, it will point me in the right direction. This light exists before me and ahead of me. It radiates out to me. It brings peace and security to the path that is right for my soul.”

Meditate with the light and with your feelings (or desired feelings) of peace and security for the future. Imagine that the light “skips” ahead by several weeks or days or months, shining back and carefully guiding you through the winding snowy roads of life. Allow the light to burn for as long as you like. Once the spell is cast, it will exist for ages. But repeat this spell whenever you mentally would like those same feelings of security again.

Tarot Meditation

Tarot, when pulled randomly in a spread, is a powerful tool for divination. When the cards are selected and placed in to a spread, it is a powerful tool for manifestation magic.

Take your #17 Star card, or any card which represents destiny, future, and hope. Meditate on this card and what it would mean for you to have a positive, happy future. Your future should NOT be what others expect from you. It should not be what you expect from yourself. Release expectations, release burdens. Let it all go. Breathe in, exhale all that garbage, and focus on what truly will make you happy in your future. When you are ready, place the Star or equivalent card at the top of your work space table.

Take your 8 of Swords card, or any card which represents being lost, blindness, and confusion. Sometimes it is normal to be in these negative states, but for you it is no longer normal. For you, it has become a real maze, a trap that has bound you that you can’t find a way out of. So reverse this card. Place it two spaces underneath the Star (leave room for a card between these two).

Finally, search your deck for two cards: The #10 Wheel of Fortune, or another card which means change. And, a card which represents what will bring you out of the 8 of Swords maze. Could that card for you be focus and direction? Could it be happiness, support, healing, wellness? What card will elevate you the most? At this phase of the spell, going through the deck itself is a meditation. Consider each of the 75 remaining cards carefully and pull any card which seems promising. Truly ask yourself what will bridge the gap between where you are and where you want to be.

Take the Wheel of Fortune or equivalent card and place it between the Star and the 8 of Swords. Now the spell has really started cooking. Say or think something like this:

“Universe, Deep Self, listen up! It is time for you to hear me. Look at the Star, this is our future*. This is what we want for ourselves. [Speak about your goals for the future.]

Look at where we are now, though. Trapped and confused. [Speak about your current quandaries.]

But look! The gears of change are in motion. [Focus on the Wheel of Fortune.] I know the fates will change in my future, even as I speak the Fates are weaving a better future.

Here is an important message. [Place your special card on top of the reversed 8 of Swords.] This is my Power Card. This is what I am going to focus on. Please bring me the blessings of this card to help liberate me from this place and put me on the right track to my future.”

Now, meditate on how the blessings you have asked for could help you, elevate you, and bring you closer to your desired future. When you are ready, take your 8 of Swords card. Hold it up in the air, or place it in a special place away from the spread. Say or think, “I am done with this. I release my personal maze. I release my personal confusion. I am moving on.” There is a chance you will not be able to say these words, because it seems very “wrong” to you. If it seems wrong, do not force it, and send me a message. Just let that last part go :)

Spend another moment and consider your new spread, a blessing which takes motion to improve your future. When you are feeling confident, happy, and hopeful, put your cards away and go eat some pasta.

In this tarot spell, it is vital you do not pull any cards randomly. This spell is about identifying things about yourself and taking conscious control. Being given cards by the universe is counter to the meaning of this spell.

*If it is a part of your future, it is a part of the universe’s future, too.

I Will Never Abandon Myself

A big part of my current lack of confidence is abuse I have received in the past. However, I have discovered that through magic, changing the past is possible.

Return to a bad memory. Not too bad, just a little bad one. Something embarrassing maybe, or something rude that was said to you. Watch the memory start to play out, then as soon as the bad thing happens, step in. You can’t stop the bad thing from happening, I’m afraid. But you can change the outcome.

So step in to your memory and change the outcome. Be there for yourself. “Fuck you for laughing at me when I talked during the staff meeting. That was rude, that was unacceptable. You are supposed to be my friend. I do not allow that kind of treatment to myself.” Then turn around and give your past self a hug, and let the love flow out of you to your past self.

It will take more than one try, even for a little memory. Changing the past is no easy or simple feat. Whenever a bad memory comes to you, don’t try to ignore it. Step in. Take weapons with you. Take a shotgun if you need to. Deliver spiritual justice to the people who hurt you – and as you do, their memories of the event will become more and more guilty. And as you do, your memories of this event will become more and more calm and healed.

Just as a warning, if you start altering the past, weird shit will happen. You will return to a memory, and suddenly realize you aren’t the only person present – your other past or future selves are visiting that memory too, to help heal it. Your past or future self may come running to you for a hug at some point to get love when you can freely give it. It was a trip the first time I realized my younger self was traveling to the future to suck up some self-love from present me.

When you are in a dangerous or scary situation, after a while, you will realize you are not alone – you are experiencing yourself there, for you, helping to protect and heal while this event is ongoing. And you can stand confident and strong, knowing that you at your best is here to defend you.

Finally, when you are feeling your worst, think about yourself in 20, 30, or 40 years. When you have your shit together. When your life is complete, when you are happy and whole, when you have ‘made it’. And imagine you go to the future, and knock on that door, and ask Grandma or Grandpa or Grandex you to come out and give you some love. And you know what, they WILL come. They will open the door and give you the biggest and most beautiful hug, and say hey, I’m here for you. I never left you. I am you and I love you no matter what, young hurting me. Come in and have some cookies and let me take the pressure off for a while.

My only advice is to only take love from the future. Don’t start taking other things. That will fuck up your timeline. Be safe and smart.

“Hamilton” starters

There are 117 more under the cut!

  • “You gotta fend for yourself.”
  • “Just you wait!”
  • “You never learned to take your time!”
  • “Pardon me. Are you [name]?”
  • “I’m getting nervous.”
  • “So how’d you do it?”
  • “How’d you graduate so fast?”
  • “Can I buy you a drink?’
  • “While we’re talking, let me offer you some free advice: talk less. Smile more. Don’t let them know what you’re against or what you’re for.”
  • “You can’t be serious.”

Keep reading

Random Dialogue Prompts

I had some free time in class so, of course, I spent my time writing these. Feel free to use or send in requests!

  1. “Whoa, take it easy there.”
  2. “You really think you can handle this?”
  3. “Wow, you look, uh…interesting.”
  4. “Oh, come on, you’ll be fine.”
  5. “You know I didn’t mean it like that.”
  6. “Why would you go to all this trouble?”
  7. “You’re incredibly persistent, I’ll give you that.”
  8. “You don’t deserve this.”
  9. “Close your eyes.”
  10. “What are you doing under there?”
  11. “You need to stop before someone gets hurt.”
  12. “Where the fuck am I?”
  13. “You look like you could use some help.”
  14. “Why are you looking at me like that?”
  15. “Hey, quit laughing!”
  16. “Nope, no way, not a chance.”
  17. “I’m fine, just tired.”
  18. “Why did I even try?”
  19. “You don’t scare me.”
  20. “Hey there, sleepyhead.”
  21. “I’d rather jump out a window, thanks.”
  22. “You’re such a dork.”
  23. “I can’t believe you!”
  24. “Oh my god, your hands are freezing.”
  25. “What did you expect?”
  26. “Any chance I could get you to stop staring at me?”
  27. “Can I pet your dog?”
  28. “Holy shit.”
  29. “Dude, it’s like three in the morning.”
  30. “Hey, slow down!”
  31. “Are you feeling alright?”
  32. “It’s not my fault!”
  33. “Dance with me.”
  34. “Listen, I’m running on two hours of sleep here.”
  35. “I can’t feel my toes.”
  36. “You look absolutely stunning.”
  37. “You sure you’re okay?”
  38. “How are you so perfect?”
  39. “I’ve never seen snow before.”
  40. “I can’t tell if you’re joking or not.”
  41. “Are you— are you afraid of thunder?”
  42. “How did I get so lucky?”
  43. “I don’t know what I’m supposed to do.”
  44. “Would a hug help?”
  45. “You’re safe, I promise.”
  46. “Goddamn, that’s strong.”
  47. “Babe, you’re shaking.”
  48. “Okay, I know this looks bad…”
  49. “Listen, don’t freak out, but there’s something moving on your arm.”
  50. “I don’t want to go.”
Supernatural Library (Dec. Week 3, 2016)
  • All are linked (as long as Tumblr is being a team player)
  • Refer to each fic for triggers
  • Feel free to tag me

A/N:- There is still time to take part in my music challenge so feel free to send me a request.


One shots/Drabbles/Imagine

Misha/Castiel

Jensen/Dean

Jared/Sam

AU/Multiple/Other


Series

Misha/Castiel

Jensen/Dean

Jared/Sam

AU/Multiple/Other

Thank you all for writing and sharing it with us

A/N:- There is still time to take part in my music challenge. If interested shoot me an ask. The details are near the top of my blog if you wanted to check that out first.

I am alarmed by the fact that antis are out there intentionally doing physical harm to Yixing. They are out there doing an intentional act of physical harm to someone who they don’t even know personally. They are so blinded by their pointless hate to the point that they have failed to realize that what they are doing is immoral and just so inhuman. I wish that they would reflect on themselves, what would their parents think of them if they learned that their children are out there doing this kind of act. How the fuck can you hate on Zhang Yixing, he’s such a hardworker sunshine that we do not dererve. This world doesn’t need salty ass inhuman antis.

Testing the Theory

Hi all! This is just a ficlet to commemorate my awesome evening. This is, in fact, based on true events, to an extent. If you would like to know what really happened, feel free to message me. But I thought this would be a lovely chance to write something, as I haven’t for a while. Do enjoy this Mystrade take of my first real date in a long while. For elucidation, I am Mycroft, and my date is Greg. :) Enjoy!


His foot tapped against the floor, a deep sigh escaping him. He leaned back in his chair, readjusting his already perfect tie. A slender-fingered hand reached down to the watch chain and withdrew the pendant of the watch. A quick glance and a scoff as he took in the time. Another sigh.

Mycroft Holmes’ gaze flickered over to the umbrella propped up beside the window, chewing the inside of his mouth in disdain. This establishment was not his natural milieu. The Italian restaurant was shabby, dingy, and overall not a place he would care to frequent again. But, he was here because one Detective Inspector Lestrade had convinced him of something.

A dinner date.

As Mycroft recollected the agreement, a few more seconds ticked by. He did not tolerate tardiness, and the DI was testing the government official’s patience. The elder Holmes was this close to leaving.

Or so he told himself. Deep down in that cavity where allegedly no heart resided, Mycroft had felt a small tug when Lestrade had fumbled into his office for one of their unscheduled meetings where New Scotland Yard had to meet with the government and discuss future plans. Mycroft always looked forward to those meetings, especially when it was with the DI with the glistening silver hair and the fantastic stubble that would feel great against his—

Mycroft stopped that thought when he heard the bell of the door jingle. His narrowed eyes snapped onto the scene at once. At last his, the Detective Inspector had arrived for their dinner date. Mycroft smiled civilly and nodded to him, gesturing a hand to the chair across from him. Greg beamed and took the seat opposite.

“Sorry I’m late, Mr. Holmes. There was a brutal double murder and Sherlock wouldn’t give me the a—

Mycroft cut him off with a raised hand. “Can we not discuss my brother, Detective Inspector?”

Lestrade chuckled. “Right, sorry. How are you doing?”

Mycroft took in the other man’s unseemly appearance, immediately cataloguing it with a sigh. His normally spiked and gorgeous hair was flattened, an unkempt mess. His face was smeared with dust and what appeared to be blood. Whether it was his own or not, Mycroft had not yet deduced. There were the beginnings of a shiner sporting against his left eye – the British Government winced inwardly for the other man – and his suit was disheveled, his tie torn down the middle.

“Much better than you, Inspector.” Mycroft said. “The culprit must not have come quietly, I take it?”

Lestrade laughed. “Oh, yeah. Right, sorry about that. I just came from the crime scene, and the perp returned to the scene of the crime and we nabbed him. Well actually John did. It was all very insane, but I got into a scuffle with the man and he did not go down easily, no.” Another chuckle escaped him. Mycroft’s lip twitched, and he decided it was best to change the subject.

“So, this place is quite… quaint.” He remarked, a small smirk on his face, a hand gesturing around them.

Greg blushed. “Oh, yeah. It’s a family thing. We used to come here a lot…”


And so the date progressed. The conversation was lively and amusing, and the meal even more so. Mycroft was amazed that such a place could have food that was that enjoyable, no, even that edible. He had become much more relaxed during the evening, enjoying his time spent with the DI.

“So… Mr. Holmes…” Greg said, scratching his face.

Mycroft clasped his hands together on the table and shifted his gaze to the man. It was a fond look, his face softer than it had been in ages. “If this is an outing to test the theory of romantic entanglement, Gregory, I daresay you should call me by my first name.” A laugh escaped him, his eyes dancing with the light around them.

Greg nodded. “Right, yeah. Sorry. I haven’t done this in a while. And you’re… you.”

Mycroft let loose another laugh. “What on earth does that mean?” Try as he might, the government official could not read what was on Greg’s face. Sentiment? Most likely. How tedious.

Greg’s face blushed even redder, as if that were possible at this point. “I mean you’re Mycroft Holmes. You’re that scary voice on the end of the phone, the one who calls when things get too messed up even the Chief Superintendent can’t make amends.”

Mycroft furrowed his brow. “Is there a point to this babbling, Gregory?”

“Yes! Yes, Mr. Holmes, Mycroft. Sorry.” Greg glanced away, feeling like an idiot. Then, he began speaking very fast and his words were garbled as he did so.

“I’m just trying to really say that you look great tonight. With the suit and the tie and just, I am at a loss for words. I’ve been meaning to tell you all night, but I’m a bloody idiot and I don’t know how to do it. Well, I guess I do, all things considered.” Greg smiled at him, his face steaming now.

Mycroft squirmed in his seat, unsure of what to do with the compliment. He’d never received one. Well, that was a lie. But it was never about him. Just his job. He failed to hide a smile. It was a genuine smile that stretched across his face, his eyes lingering on the man across from him.

“I would return that sentiment, but you don’t exactly look… good.” Mycroft rubbed his face. Do better, you idiot. “What I mean is that you’ve been through hell this evening. I’m sure under other, more usual circumstances, you would have cleaned up quite nicely.” It was the Holmes’ turn to blush. Greg met his fond gaze and reached out for his hand. Mycroft tentatively met him in the middle and leaned forward, brushing a thumb over Greg’s rough skin. Then, he spoke.

“I am very pleased that you asked me to accompany you, Gregory. I was honestly starting to find myself going stir crazy in that old house of mine. Perhaps Sherlock was right. Maybe I am… lonely. Maybe caring is an advantage after all.” Mycroft said softly, his voice just a whisper now. “We’ve known each other a long time, Gregory. I am honestly amazed that you would even consider doing this with me.”

Greg furrowed his brow, running his free hand through his hair. “What do you mean?”

“I’m implying that I don’t normally do this. Romantic entanglement is tedious. And often dangerous for whoever is involved.” Mycroft explain, his grip tightening slightly on Greg’s hand.

“So, how are we going to leave this dinner? I’m honestly getting mixed signals.”

That was when the waiter dropped off the check before disappearing again. Greg reached for it with his free hand. As he was the one who initiated the date and chose the place, he insisted on paying. Mycroft watched him, amused. “Although tradition dictates, I will gladly assist you in paying, Gregory.”

“No no, it’s fine. I’ll use my card.” Greg smiled at him, not letting go of his hand. Not letting go of his opportunity to impress the Holmes brother. Mycroft nodded.

“Very well. I’ll get the next one.” His tone was certain, but his face was questioning, unsure if he had said the right words or not. This was new territory, and he only learned so much from his silent film collection. Greg nodded.

“Sounds like a plan.” He said, placing his card in the little black book and returning his attention to Mycroft. The waiter immediately came over to grab it, taking their dishes with it.

“Tonight was… lovely. Thank you for agreeing to come with me. I’ve been meaning to ask for years.”

Years? Mycroft maintained his composure, wondering why on earth neither of them had made the first move for so long. He had always admired the DI from afar, but now, when he was so close? What did he do with him?

Before the government official could respond, the waiter was returning with the book and Greg’s card. “I’m sorry sir. Your card was declined. I tried running it twice.”

“Declined? I just got paid today!” Greg said, clearly vexed. His brow creased and he met Mycroft’s eyes. “Sorry, give me a second. Need to check my bank account.”

Mycroft nodded. “Not a problem, Inspector.”  He leaned back in his chair, admiring the gaze from the window for a few moments, his thoughts on how splendid the evening had been for the both of them.

“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me.” Greg said, tossing his phone down on the table with a sigh. He put his face in his hands for a few moments, dragging them across his features. Mycroft looked over at him.

“I’m sensing a problem.” He said, brows raised in concern. He could have just read the conflict, but he honestly didn’t want to show off anymore. He felt he was already in Greg’s good graces and stayed calm.

Lestrade nodded. “Damn right there’s a problem. My account is 30 pounds overdrawn even though I got paid today. Ugh, my life is a disaster – if only I hadn’t wrecked my account with that last hospital bill.” He withdrew his wallet again, leafing through the notes he carried. “Shit.”

Mycroft chuckled at his reaction, evidently amused. “I can cover the bill, Lestrade. It is hardly an issue.”

Greg pointed a finger at him. “No, no. I asked you. It’s only right.”

The Holmes brother rolled his eyes, but smiled. Greg was stubborn. He already knew this, having seen it in his mannerisms during meetings and when observing crime scenes via CCTV when he wanted to keep tabs on the lovely man across from him. However, he had never dealt with it firsthand. “If you insist on paying, which you clearly cannot today, you can return the favor in the future. Just let me cover tonight’s bill, Gregory.”

Greg sat there for a few moments. “Alright, but I am paying you back as soon as I can. Got it?”

Mycroft nodded and withdrew his black credit card. Greg watched him, an evident question on his lips. With a laugh, Mycroft placed it in the checkbook. “There now. All taken care of. See?”

“Still though. How embarrassing. I score a date with one of the most handsome men I know and then learn I have no money.”

Another laugh, and Mycroft picked up his wine glass, sipping it. He licked his lips afterward, his eyes staying right on Greg. “If it is any consolation, it makes for a fascinating story to tell in the future.”

Greg burst out laughing and he nodded. “That it does. I would have loved to continue the evening, but it seems that I need to call the bank and figure out what in the hell is going on? Can we raincheck the rest of this evening, Mycroft?”

“It will be my pleasure. I do trust it will be sooner rather than later, though.” Mycroft smirked at him. “I’ll send a car for you. After all, it is my turn to plan the next outing, is it not?” His gaze was solid, unwavering, but incredibly kind. Greg shifted slightly.

Greg blinked, taken off guard for the moment. “Um, yes. If you like. Also here is… my… private number.” He withdrew a business card and slid it across the table. Mycroft looked at the card. The corner was bent over, so he could only read part of the DI’s name. He smiled and pocketed it.

“Thank you for the lovely evening, Detective Inspector. I eagerly look forward to the next one.” Mycroft nodded to him as he grabbed up his coat and umbrella.

Greg frowned at him. “You’re not just leaving, are you?”

“Isn’t that what is normally done when a date has reached its conclusion, Gregory?” Mycroft said, donning his coat.

“Well yeah, but something usually happens before it ends.” Greg said, getting to his feet. Mycroft’s face twisted into confusion. And that was when Greg hugged him.

The warmth of the hug spread across the Iceman, melting his cold exterior and bringing his walls crashing down around him. It only took one evening, one hug, for Greg to get further than anyone else had. Mycroft swallowed and set the umbrella down nearby, his arms coming up to wrap around the other man. He felt safe; he felt at home here. He hadn’t been hugged like this in years. If he wasn’t careful, if he got too sentimental, he would have teared up. But he didn’t. The elder brother had more control than that. He was Mycroft Holmes after all.

 @shag-me-senseless-watson @sherlockprettydamngayholmes @love-in-mind-palace @the-loving-detective @rosecoloured @john-sherlocked-af @acciojohnlock @johnlock221b123 @loveteaelephants @chinike @weneedtotalkaboutsherlock @toewsgirl42 @daringlydomestic @impossiblyshycollector @calliopecookiejar @gryffindorks27 @hopefulnostalgic @theblogofbec @221b-sh @kiwitentacles @shadoclowd @shurplepurpofsex @tali-zora @jeremiebrett @griffxtrn @slytherinlock @hoodie-overlord @salve-regina-mills @thekats @sarzipanbatch @slingblade125 @skulls-and-tea @inevitably-johnlocked @anorwegiannotnamedsigerson @consultingeastwind @consultinghubbies @slytherinlock@slytherlock @merrrrrrrr @johnlocktrash124 @vitruvianwatson @i-detect-your-queerbaiting @thelostsmiles @chriscalledmesweetie @addignisherlock @the-7-percent-solution @kimbiablue


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All Started With a Song Part 8 // Conor Maynard

Word Count- 2304

Summary- conor sees your cover and contacts you

A/n-(feel free to change the friends name I was just too lazy to write y/f/n that may times) ok so i hd to repost it bc i forgot to put part 8. im so sorry omg. but this will be last part for a few days. hope you enjoy.

~~

“Oh. My. God.”

“LA is so beautiful, and we haven’t even left the airport!” Alice giggled.

“I am so excited,” you smiled, walking towards the luggage claim.

“What are we doing first?” Olivia asked.

“Checking in at the hotel, then we can find somewhere to have lunch. Sound good?”

“Sounds perfect,” she stopped. “Thanks again Y/n/n. It means a lot that you chose me to come with you.”

“Of course Liv, you deserve the world and more. The least I can do is take you on a mini adventure with me,” you smiled.

She pulled you into a hug, muttering another ‘thank you’ into your shoulder.

~~

You guys had some trouble checking in at the hotel.

“What do you mean we don’t have a room?” you sighed.

“I’m sorry, ma’am. There is no room reserved under Y/l/n.” he gave you an unapologetic smile.

You walked away from the counter and called Sabrina.

“Hey girl! How’s LA?”

“It’s nice, but the hotel is saying they don’t have a room for us,” you were trying your hardest not to cry.

“Really? That’s odd. You said my last name right?”

“What? It’s under your name?”

“Oh my gosh, did I not tell you? I’m so sorry!”

You chuckled, “Its okay.”

“To make it up you girls, I’ll take you out to lunch,” she said.

“Sounds good! Meet you in 20.”

~~

You ended up going to In-N-Out, it was the greatest thing you’ve ever had.

“This is so good, why doesn’t London have this?” Olivia moaned into her burger.

“So what are your plans for today?” Sabrina asked, munching on a fry.

“Hmm, I don’t quite know. We were probably just gonna chill at the hotel.” Alice sipped on her drink.

“Well, I know that you two,” she said pointing at Alice and Olivia. “Probably don’t have plans tomorrow while Y/n is with Anth.”

“Not really. We weren’t going to explore LA until Sunday and Monday.”

“I may or may not have scheduled you guys’ spa appointments,” she smiled.

“Really?” Olivia asked.

“Yeah, but if you guys aren’t up for it, I can cancel.”

“Who would turn down a spa day??” Alice laughed.

After lunch you parted ways with Sabrina. The three of you went back to the hotel, had a swim, took lots of pictures, and just had a great time. The girls also helped you practice for tomorrow.

You were really nervous about tomorrow. The last time you went to sing a duet you were humiliated. So who knows how tomorrow will go.

~~

You weren’t supposed to meet Anth until noon, but you were wake by 7. You just couldn’t sleep any longer. You had to get everything ready and make sure it was perfect. You couldn’t be late or early. Everything needed to be planned. You weren’t going to ruin this collab as well.

Though you didn’t exactly ruin the last one.

“Alice, Olivia, I’m going to shower. Please get up, I want breakfast soon.” You said as you grabbed your clothes and headed to the shower.

Throughout the showers, many tears were shed. This was the only time you allowed yourself to cry, about anything you needed to.

You were mainly crying because you hadn’t gotten any answers. It had been almost 2 weeks and he hadn’t even tried to apologize. You let the tears run down your face. What did you do to make him so angry? Why did he hurt you like that? Did he truly forget?

These questions ran through your brain every day. But you only acknowledged them at these times.

After a good 15 minutes of self-pity you got out of the shower. You were careful to make sure your face wasn’t red nor puffy when you left the bathroom.

“Almost ready?” you asked as you dropped the towel in your make-shift pile of dirty clothes.

“Yes, just a few more curls to go,” Olivia said, twirling her curling wand.

“I need to do my eyebrows, then we can go.” Alice said as she grabbed her eyebrow palette and took a seat in front of the mirror.

You three finished getting ready in silence, but it wasn’t weird.

~~

After breakfast you three went back to the hotel. You had made an agreement before you got here that you weren’t going to explore until you had the entire day, cuz you all knew that you’d get sidetracked and be late.

“What time is it?” you asked.

“Ten past ten,” Alice said as she scrolled through Instagram.

“Where are you meeting him?” Olivia asked as she flipped through the channels on TV, stopping on The Notebook.

“In the hotel he’s staying at,” you answered.

“Ooooh his hotel room,” Alice wiggled her eyebrows.

“Ew stop!” you threw a pillow at her. “I don’t see him like that.”

“He’s definitely boyfriend material,” Olivia smirked.

“I don’t even know him!”

“You didn’t know Conor,” said Alice as you glared at her. “Sorry.”

“I just, I just don’t know what I did wrong! Did I say something or not say something. Was I a jerk? Was I too forward? Too clingy? I just don’t understand what I did!” you cried.

“Hey,” Olivia hugged you. “You did nothing wrong. Do you hear me? Nothing. This is not your fault. What happened was completely his fault. And I’m sorry he hasn’t given you answers, but don’t you dare blame yourself.”

“You’re right,” you sniffled. “He’s at fault here, not me.”

“You should post a picture on Instagram to show him what he’s missing.”

“I should.”

You posted a picture of you at the restaurant you went to this morning. Olivia had taken the picture. It was of you holding a cup of tea, you were looking at the camera smiling. You thought you looked amazing, because you did. Your eyes sparkled with joy and your smile was as bright as the sun.

You posted the picture with the caption that said:

the barista judged me for getting tea instead of coffee…

You decided to curl your hair for the video with Anth. So you were sat on the ground in front of the mirror as Alice and Olivia watched The Notebook.

“Oh my god.” Alice gasped.

“What?” you looked at her through the mirror.

“He liked your picture.”

“Who did?” you sat the curling wand down and turned to face your friends.

“Conor did.”

~~

You went to reply when your phone rang.

“Hello?” you stood up and walked out into the hallway.

“Who’s she talking to?” Olivia asked Alice.

“No idea. But this is getting out of hand,” she sighed.

“Conor needs to stop playing her like this.”

“We have to do something.”

“I know, but what?”

“Hey guys,” you said, walking back in. “I’m gonna head out. I’ll see you tonight. Have fun at the spa and don’t do anything stupid!”

You walked out of the hotel and waited for your Uber. The ride there was actually nice.

“So where ya headed?” the older lady asked.

“A friend’s house, we’re going to film a cover for his YouTube channel,” you smiled.

“Exciting. How’s your week been?”

“Honestly? It could have been better, but I’m on vacation so I’m not complaining.”

“Do you want to take about it?”

“Really?” you asked.

“Sweetheart, I have a 14 year old. I’m used to talking them through their problems.”

“There’s this guy, and he was really nice but then he did something really rude and he’s been ignoring me since. All I want to know is what I did wrong,” you sighed.

“Have you tried approaching him?”

“Well, he’s kind of famous. So no.”

“Ah, I see. Well do you want my advice as a stranger or a mom?”

“Both.”

“Okay, well my advice as a stranger is to block him on everything and try to forget what happened. He’s not worth it.”

You chuckled, “And your advice as a mom?”

“Try to talk to him. Don’t ask for an apology, just an explanation. If it’s a dumb one then move on. If it’s reasonable then try to work through it.”

“Wow, thank you so much.”

She parked the car and turned around, “Anytime.”

“Here you go,” you gave her your money and exited the vehicle. Once you were on the side walk you turned around, “your child is one lucky kid.”

~~

The walk to Anth’s room was quiet, which allowed you to think. This is the first time since he liked your picture that you’ve had time to think about it.

How fucking dare he do that?

He had no right.

He ignored you for almost 2 weeks then likes your photo.

You were pissed off. He was playing you, or at least trying to. You weren’t going to fall into his tricks anymore. He was a dick and he didn’t deserve you.

You finally arrived to Anth’s room and knocked.

“Hi, you must be Y/n!” he smiled, embracing you in a hug.

“That’s me,” you laughed.

“I have so many ideas,” he said, leading you into the main room of the loft.

“I’m all ears,” you said as you sat down.

“So since you have a higher voice than me I was thinking we could do a duet that was originally sung by a guy and a girl.”

“I agree, do you have any ideas?”

“I have one,” he opened his phone and a song began playing. It was ‘Secret Love Song’ by Little Mix.

“I love this song!” you stood up and began singing along as you danced around the living room.

“And I also wrote a rap for it,” he handed you his notes and you read over them.

“Anth, this is amazing!” you read the lyrics, you were in awe of this boy.

“Thanks,” he stood up. “Are you sure it’s not too scandalous?” he asked as he started to set up the lights.

You grabbed the second light and followed his movements, “Why would you think that?”

He gave you a look.

“Oh, that.”

“Yeah.”

“Did he tell you?”

“No, and you don’t have to.”

“Are you sure you don’t want to know?” you smirked. “It doesn’t bother me anymore.” That wasn’t a complete lie, it still hurt but not as bad.

“Oh thank god, I’ve been dying to know,” he laughed.

So you told the story once more. Explaining what happened, how you felt, how you assumed he felt all while setting up.

“So,” you started, sitting down in front of the camera. “What’s the key to making a cover amazing?”

“All the emotion you feel towards Conor, put it into your singing.”

“All of it?”

“All of it.”

~~

The recording was amazing. Though you did have to do multiple takes due to laughing, getting distracted or crying uncontrollably.

The one thing you loved about Anth is that he didn’t judge you. The first time you cried while recording, he simply stopped the camera and gave you a tissue. He waited until you told him you were ready.

After finally getting all the footage needed you two ordered pizza.

“Would you mind if I invited my friends over?” you asked, as you took a drink of your water.

“I don’t mind, just make sure they don’t post the location.”

“Got it,” you chuckled as you sent Alice a text telling her they could come over.

“Okay,” you started.

“What’s up?” he asked, sitting next to you.

“You know my story, what’s yours?””

“Well, what do you want to know?”

“Honestly?” he nodded.

“Why do you think he did it?” you asked shyly.

“I have no clue. You’re an amazing girl and he lucked out.”

“Do you think I did something?”

“The thing with Conor is, he doesn’t know what to do when put into a situation. And half the time, he’ll pick the easy option.”

“That’s the thing though!” you threw your hands up. “I don’t know what situation he was put into.”

“Have you asked him?”

“I was going to, but he unadded me on everything. I took that as a sign to leave him alone.”

There was a knock at the door.

Anth put his hand on your thigh, “I don’t know why he did what he did. Just know, he’s the type of guy that will do anything, and I mean anything to make sure you know he’s sorry.” And with that he got up and answered the door, returning with your two closest friends.

The rest of the night was filled with lots of laughter and good music.

At first it was just videos of you four singing in your loudest voice possible but then it got serious. You got into teams and began battling against each other. So it was fair, Alice and you were on one team while Olivia and Anth on another.

It got super tense when Anth and you were up against each other.

He began rapping which honestly shouldn’t have caught you off guard, but it did. So then you started to sing You & I by One Direction, which caused him to smirk thinking he had won. But when you hit that high note everyone’s jaw dropped.

“Holy shit Y/n.” he gasped.

“Thanks,” you smiled. “Does that mean I win?”

“I’ll say you won if you agree to do another cover with me.”

“I don’t know,” you trailed off. “I’ll have to check my schedule.”

This caused all four of you to burst out laughing.

But then the door knocked.

“Who else did you invite?” Anth asked.

“No one.” You three said in unison.

“I’ll go check, just in case it’s a fan.” You said walking to the door.

When you opened the door you froze. You did not expect to see him of all people.

Conor Maynard was standing right in front of you.

“Hi.”

When despair for the world grows in me
and I wake in the night at the least sound
in fear of what my life and my children’s lives may be,
I go and lie down where the wood drake
rests in his beauty on the water, and the great heron feeds.
I come into the peace of wild things
who do not tax their lives with forethought of grief.
I come into the presence of still water.
And I feel above me the day-blind stars
waiting with their light. For a time
I rest in the grace of the world, and am free.

Wendell Berry, “The Peace of Wild Things,” Collected Poems 1957-1982 (Counterpoint, 1985)

A week ago I thought I couldn’t live without you. When you left me it kind of felt like my organs were failing. I dragged myself around for the longest time. I woke up yesterday, or the day before that, or the day before that one, and you weren’t the first or the second or even the third thing I thought of. And, for once, I didn’t die inside when I saw that I didn’t have a text from you. I used to think of you all the time. I used to dream about you even while I was awake. I do think of you sometimes, that I cannot deny. You just aren’t what my mind wanders to anymore. And I think I’m ready to finally let you go. My hands are strained from the years of holding on and my heart is tired. I am free of you. You are no longer the person I picture myself holding hands with ten years from now. You are not the person I imagine having a family with anymore. You are not the person I wish to be buried beside. It doesn’t hurt to think about you with somebody else, the thought of someone else's hands on you does not anger me, nor does it make me jealous anymore. I am so out of love with you.
—  September 20th, 2016

I’ll be entirely honest with you: I’ve read crap all this year so I’m probably going to miss many of your own favourites, but this is just a list of fics that I’ve actually read and loved in the year 2016. There’s plenty I’ve started and have loved, but am either incredibly behind on or have not yet read enough of to form a strong enough opinion on. In the new year, though, I do promise to read more and be as supportive and encouraging for this community as I can. Fingers crossed that this time next year this list will be much, much longer.

Also, because talking about fic is one of my favourite things ever, feel free to let me know if any of these are also your favourites from 2016 or even just what your favourites in general were! Let’s start the positivity and support now!

Keep reading

Considering how goddamn oblivious Simon is to literally everything, I feel like he would be really gullible too? And Baz knows this and teases him all the time by doing the ‘oh my god what’s that on the ceiling?’ thing. So eventually, Simon catches on that he’s being made a total idiot out of, so stops looking. Baz stops asking. Months go by and then all of a sudden they’re dating and Simon has no idea how they ever got to this point. Baz is still annoying (but now Simon finds it kind of cute even if he won’t admit it) but they aren’t enemies anymore and everything has changed. One day all of a sudden Baz starts trying to catch Simon out again, but Simon has learnt from years of practice to train his eyes to stay on the ground. This goes on constantly for about a week, until inevitably Simon forgets and looks up, but turns out that there is something written on the ceiling. It’s a sentence, undeniably in Baz’s handwriting, and it’s only four words long.