what am i doing wit my life

Great lines from Pokemon main series games:

  • “It’s a switch. Press it?” [Yes] “Who wouldn’t?”
  • “You daft codger, your mask’s absurd!”
  • “This is bad! Badbadbadbadbadbadbad! Bad for Team Plasma! Or Plasbad for short!”
  • “Judge an Egg?! That’s a tall order even for me!” 
  • “The train hasn’t come in… I know! I’ll carry the passengers on my back! That won’t work.” 
  • “The way it works is blah blah… radioactive energy blah blah… blah blah blah infrared technology… blah blah blah…” 
  • [Name] paid an outrageous ¥500 and bought the Magikarp… 
  • “I am at this hotel now.”
  • “I’m the Team Skull boss, and I’ve never been scared of nothing or nobody. Heck, I live my life making people scared of ME! So listen to what big bad Guzma has to say… Y'all are stupid!”
  • “I CAN’T STOP SHOUTING! I THINK I’LL FREEZE IF I DO!”
  • “Today’s smell check of our beds is done! They’re fine. They smell good.”
  • “You dim-witted…dense…dumb…daft…dippy…dorky…doltish DOOFUS!!!“
  • DDDDDDDDDDOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMM!
  • “Whoops, dropped my balls.”
  • “Verily has it been our most treasured possession, since I happened to pick it up in a shop a week ago. Or two weeks, mayhap!” 
  • “I need to find a way to get more into the character of a Pokémon… maybe I should get the Day Care to raise me?” 
  • “My Hiker friend was so pleased by your right answer that he simply had to battle you! Come, my fine Hiker!”
  • “This pretty Pokemon looks just like me when I was younger. Right when I said that, my husband spewed the coffee he was drinking. Did I say something funny?” 
  • “You compare ME, Tabitha, the next Chief Admin of Team Magma, to a Makuhita?! You’d better at least make it a Hariyama!”
  • “Truly marvelous! And also a bridge!”
  • “I’m not stuck! It’s just that a pleasantly cool breeze drifts through here.”
  • “Lighthouse Point: The point that has a lighthouse.” 
His || Jungkook || 0.16

Member: Jungkook x Reader

Type: Angst, Fluff, Smut.

Teaser | 0.1 | 0.2 | 0.3 | 0.4 | 0.5 | 0.6 | 0.7 | 0.8 | 0.9 | 0.10 | 0.11 | 0.12 | 0.13| 0.14 | 0.15 | 0.16 |

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hazyxthoughts  asked:

"How do I send texts again? I press this?" "No, wait, don't! Oh shit you sent it to ALL YOUR CONTACTS!!" "I DID WHAT"

This prompt literally made my shitty exhausting day a hundred times brighter and I love you for it.


Draco: Listen, Weasley, I have a favour to ask of you. Humongous favour. One that you can never tell anyone about if you don’t want to lose your balls, your dick and your nipples all at once.

Ron: *alarmed* I’m listening?

Draco: See, since Harry is on a mission and I can’t physically reach him I would like to send him some photos, to, khm, keep him entertained. And I forgot how to send photos along with texts.

Ron: *nervous* What kind of, umm, photos exactly?

Draco: *smirks* Exactly the kind you’re thinking about.

Ron: Uhhh

Draco: C'mon Weasley. I will cover your ass in front of Granger for a whole year.

Ron: Really? Hmm..she does go hard on me sometimes… Circe, fine. I just hope I don’t go blind from seeing your ugly naked arse. 

Draco: Ugly? Potter begs to differ. *winks*

Ron: *chokes*

Draco: *takes out his spell phone* Look, these are all the photos I want to send.

Ron: *squints at them sideways*  MERLIN’S MIGHTY MOUSTACHE. *covers his eyes with his hand*  How much must I have sinned in this life to deserve to see this. *opens his eyes a tiny bit * NO! No! Don’t click on it. That’ll only enlarge it and I don’t think I’ll survive seeing your ass up clos-  ohmygod I see your balls too and is that your di- OHGOD *closes eyes*

Draco: Stop being so dramatic, Weasley. My ass, as well as my other parts, is exquisite. Now, how do I send these again? I press this, right?

Ron: NO! No, wait, don’t! Oh shit, you sent it to ALL YOUR CONTACTS!!

Draco:  I DID WHAT?

Ron: *whispers in shock* You sent it to everyone.

Draco: *squeaks* EVERYONE? WHAT DO YOU MEAN EVERYONE? ARE YOU TELLING ME MY FATHER WILL RECEIVE THIS PHOTO??!!

Ron: YOUR FATHER HAS A SPELL PHONE?

Draco: Of course, he does! He likes to keep up with the trends!

Ron: *doubles over, starts heaving from laughter*  I JUST WITNESSED LUCIUS MALFOY BEING SENT DICK PICKS BY HIS OWN SON THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE I AM LIVING

  • McCree: Uhh, sweetheart? What are ya doin?
  • Hanzo: I am in a battle of wits with this small child and her centaur companion.
  • Efi: We're playing pictionary!
  • Orisa: Mr. Shimada has not had the most enjoyable experience however.
  • McCree: Why's that?
  • Orisa: Everything be draws ends up being a bow or quiver.
  • Hanzo: LIFE'S GREATEST TOOLS ARE THAT WHICH CAN END LIVES!
  • Efi: I drew a cat!
  • McCree: Well yes you did sweetie!
  • Hanzo: DO NOT IGNORE MY ARTISTIC TALENT!
FF XV React: Words of encouragment for you

Noctis: Hey, c'mon look at me and listen. You want to know a secret about the future and how not to be afraid of tommorrow? Here it is: The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams. So you keep dreaming, higher and more unimaginable than anyone else!

Gladiolus: You’ve got the makings of greatness in you! But you have to take the helm and chart your own course! Stick to it! No matter the squall! There’s gonna come a day when you’ll really get to test yourself and show the world what you’re made of! And I hope I’m there, seeing the light come off of you that day.

Prompto: Now you listen to me and listen good! A winner is just a loser who never learned to give up! So you be the best loser you can be and keep going! I’ll be cheering for you in the stands even if I cheer alone!

Ignis: Everything may seem hopeless right now, but there is a law in the world that is an undeniable truth. Good and better days will, and have to come. This storm will pass as all things do, and then you will be laughing at such a thing that you once feared.

Cor: In all my years I’ve learned many truths. Some that sound too good to be true, but they are. Let me tell you that what I am about to say is true; A life spent making mistakes is not only more honorable, but more useful than a life spent doing nothing.

Regis: There now, dry your eyes and lift your head up. Keep it up and may it never lower. Why you ask? Your crown might fall if you do so. A crown alight with all those brilliant ideas the world has yet to bare witness in this cold dark reality.

Cid: Take some advice from this old man, just do what you got to do to be happy. Life’s too short to be doing stuff to make other people happy. It’s real simple thinking, but too many folks don’t do it. Do whatever; sleep in a little, splurge a little, eat that treat youve been craving it dont matter what you do as long as it’s for yourself. Selfish? Maybe, but is it so selfish to take better take care of yourself?

Clarus: Walk tall and do not falter. You might think that it’s for a lost cause for you don’t see an audience, you don’t recquire one. Do it for yourself first and foremost, and if others are in awe of you wish that they can do the same for themselves.

Iris: Hey listen me! I know you might feel like a mess and that’s okay! Sleep it off or shake it off, but don’t let it stay! If it’s too much then let me carry some of that weight so you can stand tall again!

Cidney: Dont listen to the people who talk behind your back. You’re just two steps ahead of them is all! Instead of walking down other peoples paths, you go on ahead and make your own so other people can follow!

Gentiana: I know the days appear without end, a cold, dark barren wasteland. But it is in a wasteland where storms can be the strongest, and the deadliest. You are that storm. Nothing is in your way.

Lunafreya: Do not hide away your emotions. If you are sad, then cry. If you are mad, then scream. It is a reminder that you are human; and as any human you evolve. Stronger than ever before.

Ravus: Give no satisfaction to those who are attempting to destroy you. What words they speak they merely wish unto themselves, but are cowards to do so. You are no coward.

Areana: You beating yourself up? You a masochist or something? Heh, we’re our own worst enemies, but like they say; keep your friends close and your enemies closer. Even if that enemy is yourself, with each time you decide to keep going you’re beating yourself for entitely different reasons. That’s the way it should be.

Ardyn: Now, now my dear, no need to fret. You may think you’ve lost and failed at everything. But to have never tried, is never to have lived and besides - when you have nothing to lose, you have all to gain.

Nyx: Y'know, most people would have given up a long time ago. They wouldn’t have even bothered at all to keep going…So why do you? Heh, dont know? ‘Cus you got “something” to still keep you going even if you dont know what that is yet. Keep going to find out what it is, and if you can’t find the reason - then keep going for me, cus I’ll always give you one.

Libertus: Listen to me, you might say I’m just telling you this cus I 'oughta but I say it cus I really do care 'bout ya.The world would be more dark without you here. I mean it. You’re one little light out of a million, a billion out there and you might not think that you stand out or shine - but you do. Sometimes one little candle is all you need to not be afraid of the dark.

Crowe: You know when all is said and done at the end of the day, no matter how horrible it was - you’re still you but only better. It may not be by much, you might not even notice it. You survived and you learned, so that’s an accomplisment unto itself.

Drautos: I’ll tell it to you straight and simple; just do it. Whatever it is or whatever it may be, go on and try. Learn from it if you fail, keep trying if you want to. Kick ass and take names.

Luche: Head back, back straight and deep breaths. Take your own time when it comes to things, at your own pace. No one is rushing you, only yourself.

Dino: Listen 'ere kid, greatness ain’t born, it’s made. Like a diamond. Little peice of coal takes forever to be something that everyone wants. So take your sweet 'ol time and be the diamond everyone wants, and then dont! 'Cus a precious stone like you belongs to nobody!

@prairiepanic I wanted to do some dialogue practice and I remembered this bit you put with some art once and ta dah!

-

Tony was having none of it.

‘No. No, I don’t believe it,’ he said, looking from the holo-image to the alien prince on his couch and back. ‘I won’t believe it. You. Tall, dark, and- okay you’re not bad looking, but married?’ Tony crossed his arms over his chest. ‘Nope. I refuse.’

‘I don’t care what you think.’ Loki replied nonchalantly. He absently examined the drink in his hand while Tony turned to the holo-image.

‘I know there’s a whole lot of weird things out there,’ Tony continued, ‘sentient flying artificial life and alien armies- there’s gotta be a line. No offense, there has to be a line.’

‘This,’ Loki lifted his glass, ‘doesn’t mean we are friends.’

Tony stood his ground. ‘There’s a line. What am I willing to believe?’ He jabbed his thumb behind him. ‘Not that.’

A look of irritation passed over Loki’s features before he drained the glass. ‘Any other time I would care to banter with you. Assert my superiority in a battle of wits- but I am not in the mood.’

‘Is this a recent thing?’ Tony questioned. ‘Do I need to buy a wedding gift? Do you have compatible power points in Asgard?’

‘Stark.’

The mortal shrugged, feigning innocence. ‘Hey, you want me to believe you’re married. Honey, I brought the milk and eggs married. Since your brother’s not here to back you up…’

‘That’s not relevant.’ Loki said returning his glass to the nearby table.

‘Is to me.’ After an empty moment it was clear the Loki wouldn’t reply. Tony turned his attention of the holo-image again. There hanging in the air was the image of a woman in mid motion. Loki’s wife, Tony reminded himself. ‘She’s uh, wow.’ He said. ‘This is your wife?’

Loki gave a long suffering sigh. ‘Yes. This is Sigyn, my wife.’

‘Seeg-in.’ Tony repeated.

‘Sigyn.’ Loki prompted moving to Tony’s side.

‘Sigyn. Huh. Well, hey we both have a thing for redheads.’

Loki remained silent.

‘What’s she doing on earth?’ Tony asked. ‘What are you doing on earth?’

‘That,’ Loki shifted as though he was uncomfortable, ‘I don’t know. I’m here in search of her.’

‘Pretty straight forward. And you want my help?’

‘I would appreciate your assistance.’

Tony eyed the disgraced prince. ‘You’re not going to ask?’

‘This is asking.’

Tony didn’t miss a beat. ‘Well, you’ve got me. I want to meet this wife of yours.’ He said with a grin.



‘I take it back. I don’t want your help.’

Yesterday, one of my discussions sessions was talking about the fear associated with wanting to be a math major, but not thinking of themselves as ‘math people.’ 

I told them I was never ‘math people,’ that I learned trig at age 23, calculus at 24, higher math at 25, and started graduate math at 26. Being ‘math people’ is a decision, and it’s never too late to decide to be just that. 

…Then they asked me what I did before age 23, and I told them about my law career…

…They expressed surprise that I had walked away from a very well-paying career to go back to school, then stayed in school after finishing my program. 

…And…

…I might have gotten too real. I say it all the time on here, but I said it to them:

There is nothing more important to me in this whole world than their understanding of mathematics. It is the reason I exist. It is everything to me that they will, in this lifetime, witness mathematics as I have come to know it. It is my life’s work that they meet this beautiful, indescribable thing that I love with all I am and everything I will ever be. I quit my career to dedicate all my time to it, traded my house for a one room efficiency so I could afford tuition and books, lost my marriage because my spouse didn’t support my decision to do this, and it was still a steal of a deal because what I got in return is the most valuable, important thing I could ever possibly do with my life. I’d live in a gutter and eat sticks and leaves and think myself a king as long as I could teach calculus all day and work on research all night. As long as I felt like I was doing a good job and my students were building a better understanding of mathematics, as long as I was ever refining my understanding of the inner workings of this incomparable abstract creature called mathematics, I would feel like a millionaire. 

I told them also that they already are math people. We talk about math all day, and we teach each other in the process. They bring new problems that I had never considered before, challenge me to think in different ways, and (for crissake) help me improve my shitty arithmetic abilities by keeping me in consistent practice. They make me a better mathematician, and it my greatest privilege and joy to think that I help make them better mathematicians, too. 

…Anyway, there were some interesting expressions on faces in that room, so they might think I’m a lil’ cray. But I don’t regret that, because I like to think it was obvious already (both that I am cray, and that I care a LOT about their learning calculus). My students deserve educators who feel that their learning of the subject matter is the most important thing in the entire universe, because it is. 

Crush

Requested By Anon

Pairings: Peter Parker x F!Reader


Peter has created a chatroom.

Peter has invited Wanda, Scott, Bruce, T’Challa, Vision, Thor, Y/N, Natasha, Steve, Bucky, Rhodey, Tony, Clint, Sam.

Scott: This is amazing! Everyone’s here!

Peter has invited Loki, Wade, Pietro.

Clint: You could have left them out!

Pietro: I know, right? Wade and Loki are weird.

Loki: He means you too, mortal.

Thor: Greetings, Brother!

Loki: Thor.

Thor: BROTHER!

Loki: THOR!

Thor: B R O T H E R !

Loki: T H O R !

Y/N: Loki, he’s not going to stop until you address him as brother.

Loki: But he’s not my brother!

Thor: MY BROTHER.

T’Challa: I would do it before you upset him.

Loki: NO.

Bruce: Thor :) Is :) Your :) Brother, :) Okay? :) :) :) Don’t :) Test :) My :) Patience :)

Loki: My brother, Thor! How nice to talk with you again!

Thor: Indeed it is, Brother!

Bruce: good.

Thor: :D :D :D

Rhodey: Anyone else really scared right now?

Wanda: I’m more scared of the fact that Thor now knows how to do this: :D

Vision: I find it rather cute.

Wade: My Peetie has something very important to say. Please be quiet.

Y/N: SINCE WHEN ARE YOU POLITE?!

Wade: I always am!

Y/N: Oh, I see. He’s trying to impress the team.

Wade: I am not!

Y/N: Let’s see how long you’ll be able to keep this up.

Thor: Wade is rather vulgar so this is quite strange seeing him like this.

Wanda: He’s swearing in his mind!

Wade: Please. I am the definition of well mannered.

Clint: HAHAHA RIGHT RIGHT SURE

Wade: LET PEETIE SAY WHAT HE WANTS TO SAY!

Tony: What’s up, kid?

Peter: I have gathered you all here to let you know of the greatness of my crush.

Natasha: Awww my spiderling, you have a crush?! Who is it?

Sam: So we’re all here… To know about your crush… Fun.

Peter: She’s beautiful.

Y/N: Why didn’t you tell me you had a crush? You usually tell me everything…

Thor: We would like to meet her :D :D

Vision: …so cute.

Peter: You will, soon!

Y/N: Oh look, I have to leave at ten to soon. I won’t be able to meet her.

Scott: This is great! Tell us more about her.

Y/N: Or keep it to yourself, that’s fine.

Pietro: I would think you would be happy for him, Y/N?

Y/N: I am.

Wanda: Suuuure you are.

Wanda: I’M SORRY! STOP THINKING OF THAT!

Y/N: Stay out of my mind then!

Peter: FIND OUT WHO HER CRUSH IS

Rhodey: Read Tony’s mind.

Bruce: What’s the pin to all his credit cards?

Rhodey: Tell us.

Tony: Brucie, Rhodey baby. I’m offended that you think I wouldn’t share that with you. Go wild. Buy whatever you want. All you had to do was ask.

Sam: Why aren’t we friends like that?!

Bucky: I blame Steve.

Steve: Me?!

Sam: You don’t buy us anything.

Bucky: Yeah, Steve.

Sam: Step up your game!

Wade: Ladies.

Steve: I help save the world. I lead this team. I went against the law for you, Bucky. I broke you out of prison, Sam! After all I have done… Yet you disrespect me like this? I thought our friendship was real.

Tony: The Captain is upset…

Rhodey: …Maybe he needs to…

Tony: …Chill out!

Rhodey: Yeaaahhhh!

T’Challa: What?

Tony: You know, cause he was frozen.

Pietro: That is the lamest joke I’ve ever heard.

T’Challa: I agree.

Wade: Laaadieeees.

Rhodey: That joke kills!

Pietro: Because it’s so bad?

Tony: Don’t listen to him, Rhodey. He doesn’t understand our humor.

Thor: Haha, Lady Y/N, Sir Scott, do you remember the time we went to Asgard and absconded with my brother’s most prized possessions?

Peter: What?! Without me?!

Y/N: Maybe if you weren’t so busy with your crush I would have invited you.

Loki: YOU OAF, I TOLD YOU TO NEVER SET FOOT IN MY ROOM!

Scott: I thought we were keeping that a secret…

Wade: Laaaadiessssss.

Y/N: Why would you bring that up, Thor?

Thor: I remembered and thought I would share the fun memory :D :D :D

Vision: Love it.

Wade: LADIES.

Clint: YOU WENT TO ASGARD WITHOUT US

Pietro: Not fair! I’ve been asking Thor for months to take me!

Wade: WHAT THE SHIT YOU SPANDEX LOVING ASSHOLES

Wade: HOW ABOUT YOU ALL NEVER UTTER A SINGLE WORD AGAIN, HUH?

Wade: YOU PEOPLE MAKE ME SICK… lovesick.

Wade: I ACTUALLY CONSIDERED JOINING THE X-MEN

Wade: EVEN BUCKY, OUR VERY OWN DORY, CAN STAY ON TOPIC LONGER THAN ANY OF YOU, AND THAT IS SAYING SOMETHING.

Bucky: Who the hell is Bucky?

Sam: That’s not funny.

Steve: Bucky?! Do you not remember who you are? It’s me, Steve!

Sam: … really?

Loki: What did you think would happen when you bring 18 people into a chat?

Y/N:… Wade beat his record. 10 minutes.

T’Challa: That’s longer than we expected.

Clint: He’s evolving.

Wade: Peetie, go on.

Wade: PEETIE.

Peter: What?

Peter: Oh sorry! I was daydreaming about my crush. She’s just so amazing.

Y/N: If she’s SO amazing, why haven’t you introduced us to her yet?

T’Challa: Someone’s jealous.

Peter: I will introduce you all to her. But I’m not sure if she likes me.

Y/N: I don’t see how she couldn’t.

Thor: You are very lovable, Spider-Boy. I agree with Lady Y/N :D

Vision: adorable.

Tony: I want to meet her. Like now.

Clint: Me too.

Tony: What if she’s not that good?

Clint: WHAT IF SHE HURTS HIM

Tony: WE WON’T ALLOW IT

Wade: Shhh. Shhhh. Shhhhut up. 

Bruce: You’re extra weird today.

Natasha: More weird than Clint.

Clint: Whaaaaaat? You dare sully my name! How dare you!

Natasha: See what I mean?

Vision: Will we finally know the identity of your crush? 

Y/N: We don’t need to know.

Wanda: Yes we do!

Y/N: No, we don’t!

Wanda: YES

Y/N: NO

Wanda: TRUST ME Y/N. YOU DO.

Wanda: I mean, we do.*

Loki: Ehehehehe, I know who it is!

Peter: How do you know who it is?!

Thor: :D Tell us :D Brother!

Vision: So proud.

Loki: … Stay away from my brother, android man.

Thor: HE CALLED ME BROTHER ON HIS OWN ACCORD!!!!!!!!

Loki has left the chat.

Thor: D:

Vision: It’s okay, Thor. Do not be sad.

Clint: The creepy snowman is gone.

Tony: Who do we thank for this?

Clint: A BLESSING!

Tony: Let us all rejoice!

Steve: … Why are all of you more intense versions of yourselves today?

Y/N: See Peter, this is what happens when you bring us all together…

Peter: I am starting to regret it.

T’Challa: If we can conclude this, I would be thankful. I have business to attend to.

Peter: So you know my crush is beautiful? But she’s more than that. So much more. She’s smart, and funny. I love all her little quirks.

Wade: WAIT

Peter: I… was on a roll there…

Wade: We’re forgetting someone!

Natasha: If you add the olive man I will end you.

Rhodey: Who could it possibly be?

Wade has added Dopinder.

Y/N: OHMYGOD

Clint: Who… Who is this?

Y/N: WADE ARE YOU SERIOUS

Tony: Hello person we do not know. At all.

Y/N: DOPINDER HELLO

Steve: ????????

Peter: I’m really starting to hate you, Wade.

Wade: Is it because Y/N is excited that he’s here? Don’t worry, he likes Gita.

Dopinder: Hello, Mr. Pool. and friends.

Wade: Now that everyone is here, you may continue, Peetie.

Peter: It’s Y/N. My crush is Y/N. I really like you, Y/N.

Clint: WHAT

Pietro: You didn’t see that coming?

Pietro has left the chat.

Clint: Yeah, you better run!

Wanda: I was right! I told you, Y/N! But did you listen? Nooooo! Why listen to a MIND READER?!

Wanda has left the chat.

Y/N: Me?!

Y/N: So you don’t like someone else?

Y/N: But me?!

Sam: Ooooh, you were so jealous!

Y/N: NO I WASN’T

Bucky: Jealous of yourself!

Clint: Do you like Peter too?

Thor: :D :D :D :D :D SHE DOES SHE TOLD ME

Y/N: SNITCH!

Y/N: I like you too, Peter.

Peter: Thor, if you don’t mind,

Peter: :D :D :D THIS IS THE GREATEST DAY OF MY LIFE :D :D :D

Thor: :D

Peter: :D

Thor: :D

Peter: :D

Vision: What am I witnessing here? Remarkable.

T’Challa: Congratulations! Y/N, Shuri says, “I told you so.” She looks forward to your upcoming visit. Please try not to scare any of the diplomats like last time. I have to go now. I will see you and Shuri in a week.

T’Challa has left the chat.

Tony: Always so busy. I guess we all kind of knew who your crush is.

Peter: You did?!

Bruce: It was painfully obvious.

Rhodey: Same goes for you, Y/N.

Y/N: I was not obvious! … Right?

Bruce: Basically, everyone knew, but the two of you.

Natasha: We should give them some privacy! I am so happy for you two.

Natasha has left the chat.

Bruce has left the chat.

Rhodey has left the chat.

Thor has left the chat.

Vision has left the chat.

Bucky has left the chat.

Clint: I don’t know how I feel about this…

Clint: I will be monitoring the chat.

Clint: Especially you, Peter.

Clint: ESPECIALLY. YOU.

Peter: o…kay

Clint has left the chat.

Wade: Peetie. DON’T GET ANY OF YOUR DISGUSTING WEBS ON HER OR ELSE.

Wade: You can’t see that I’m making threatening hand signs, but I totally am!

Wade: I will be chaperoning all your dates.

Wade has left the chat.

Y/N: Are the rest of you going to leave too…?

Steve: Yeah. Sure.

Y/N: You’re still not leaving…

Steve: Okay, bye.

Y/N: Steve.

Steve: Yeah?

Y/N: You’re still here…

Steve: Haha, am I?

Peter: Yup…

Steve: How do I work this thing? Say whatever you two have to say. It’ll be like I’m not even here! I won’t even look at my phone.

Peter: I am really regretting adding everyone to the chat…

Sam: You’ll regret it even more if you do anything to hurt her, Mr Team Ironjerk.

Tony: So if the kid was on Cap’s side, you’d be fine with this?

Sam: Nah.

Tony: THEN WHY INSULT ME LIKE THAT

Steve: Okay, Sam. We should go.

Sam: REMEMBER, I TAUGHT HER HOW TO KILL A MAN IN 10 SECONDS!

Sam: Actually Natasha did that but you get my point!

Sam has left the chat.

Steve has left the chat.

Tony: So, kid. Y/N has always been like a daughter to me. Is it okay if I call you son now? I do expect you to eventually marry her. That would make you my son-in-law. So, son, I’m quite glad it’s going to be you instead of some of the other people she’s liked. She’s growing up so fast. I remember when she became an Avenger. Bruce and I were working on invisibility fields. Ever seen those funny videos where people walk into glass doors? She walked right into it.

Y/N: let that memory DIE.

Tony: You should bring your aunt over and we’ll all have a big family dinner. You, your aunt, Y/N, Bruce, Clint spying in the vents, Rhodey and I.

Scott: Can I come?

Y/N: Scott! You’re still here?!

Scott: I’ve been here the entire time.

Peter: I’ll ask my aunt, Mr. Stark.

Tony: Please, call me dad.

Peter: I prefer Mr. Stark.

Tony: Dad.

Peter: I’d rather not, Mr. Stark.

Tony: Uncle Tony is fine too.

Dopinder: Where did Mr. Pool go?

Dopinder: I seem to have missed a lot.

Dopinder: It is an honor to be here with you, Mr. Stark!

Dopinder: And you too, Y/N, you’re amazing!

Scott: Excuse me.

Scott: Hi, I’m Scott.

Scott: The fangirling is my thing.

Dopinder: … I’m sorry but you are?

Scott: NO WONDER HE LIKES TONY.

Scott has left the chat.

Dopinder: ?

Dopinder has left the chat.

Peter: Who else is still in the chat that I forgot about?!

Tony: I will get everything ready for tonight. Have fun kids. But not too much fun.

Tony has left the chat.

Y/N: I’m glad that’s finally over.

Peter: Me too.

Peter: So, um,

Peter: Y/N,

Peter: Would you like to go on a date, tomorrow? It would have been tonight but Mr. Stark is hosting this dinner now, unless you’d like to go to the dinner with me as my date?

Clint has joined the chat.

Clint: NO DATING UNTIL YOU’RE STEVE’S AGE

Clint: THAT APPLIES TO BOTH OF YOU

Y/N: Yes, Peter. I would love to!

Clint: NO WHAT DID I SAY

Peter: Great!

Clint: NO LISTEN TO ME, UNCLE CLINT KNOWS BEST

Y/N: I’ll see you tonight!

Y/N has left the chat.

Peter: I guess you’ll be there too, Clint?

Clint: DAMN RIGHT!

Peter: You’re my favorite uncle that’s alive.

Peter has left the chat.

Clint: OOOOH TONY IS NEVER GOING TO BELIEVE THAT HAHAHA!

Clint has left the chat.

I see your Hogwarts House discourse over there and I want you to stop it at once.

So I raise you this opening to a fanfic I will never finish.


“There has got to be someone better qualified for this, sir…”


I looked across at Ebenezer on the other side of the table. My old teacher picked up his bottle and took a swig, and shook his head. “Given what happened at headquarters this summer, and the war we’re really not in an excess of people.”


I groaned, and rested my head in my hand. “But really?”


“We’re stretched beyond our limits.” Ebenezer said giving me a solid look. He lent in and spoke quietly. “The entire new generation of wardens has been compromised, and with the vampire war…”


I took a swig of my beer and placed it down a little too heavily.


“Hogwarts is an ancient establishment.” Eb continued. “Merlin, the original, went there. It helps pick out people strong enough for the council. And trains those that aren’t to a point they can defend themselves.”


“Yeah. I know the place.” I rubbed the still very angry scar over my eye from the escapades earlier in the year. “Well, I’ve heard of it. But why?”


“There was a warlock in the UK a number of years back, about 15, 14 years. Man by the name of Tom. Took a new name for himself, and caused a lot of trouble. Even our best at the time couldn’t catch him. But one day a death curse back fired, and killed him. Sent a lot of his followers running. There’s an entire government for magic in the UK below the council, and they dealt with a lot of it. But last year one of his followers managed to impersonate a teacher, and one of the students died, another one witnessed it. Boy by the name of Potter.”


“Never heard of him.”


“Potter’s the boy that the spell backfired off that killed Tom the first time.”


I choked on my beer at that. “What? A death curse just bounced off him?”


“Mhm.” Eb sipped his own drink. “Thing is Potter says that on that night he witnessed a gathering of warlocks, and they brought Tom back to life.”


“What kind of a name is Tom for a Warlock…” I moped up the beer I’d managed to spill down my shirt with a hanky from my pocket.


“He tended to go by Voldemort.”


Harry looked up. “So this… Government. They have enforcers, right?”


“Mhm.”


“Why don’t they employ someone to check in.”


“They have.”


“Then what am I doing?”


“Their official stance is that Tom isn’t back.”


I looked at my old teacher. “So one group says there’s a warlock that’s come back to life, and another group of other warlocks following him. Meanwhile the government that’s supposed to be taking care of this… sits on their hands with their heads up their arses?”


“The government is of the belief that the headmaster of the school is a warlock trying to corrupt the students.”


“Oh… Oh hells bells…”


“So the woman they’ve sent in will be there to keep an eye on that. But the headmaster is adamant that this other warlock is back.”


“So you want me to do what exactly?”


“I want you, as an investigator and a warden, to find out what’s going on. To approach the school and find out what’s going on there, whether the headteacher is a warlock, whether the boy is telling the truth and the other warlock has returned, or if his mind has been tampered with and he only thinks it’s true. It could be a ploy played on the young boys mind in order to cover up illicit activities at the school. Maybe he saw something he shouldn’t have.”


I frowned and drained the rest of my beer. “What about Molly?”


“If you need someone to watch over her, she’s welcome to stay at mine while you’re working.”


I thought about that. It did sound important, but it could take me out of Chicargo for a while.


“I need to make a few phone calls. How long have I got to get back to you?”


“Term starts on September First.” Eb said. “I’ll sort it all out so you’ve got somewhere to stay when you get there.”


I nodded. “So a few days.”


Eb nodded and finished his own drink. “You’ll be paid for your work.”


“Good. I don’t do charity.” I pushed myself up. “I’ll get back to you tomorrow.”

I’m having a very horrible day so far. I went out to look for work and now I’m extra sad cause I’m either over qualified or under and I’m literaly at my wits end. I just want a job. Why do I feel like I’m asking for to much.I figured I would sing a song about it to help make myself feel better. :p

Why I treasure BIG BANG so much.

The first kpop group that I loved is BIG BANG. It was back in 2008 when I stumbled upon their MV for Haru Haru. It struck me, knowing that I was only in 6th grade by the time. Because of that (and since I had access to the internet), I searched for other Big Bang songs and I downloaded them. It was later that I realized that I am a V.I.P. 

This is my first ever kpop fandom. I am truly happy, and feel so blissful, because I did not initially like hiphop and korean songs prior to this. I knew that they were calling out to me. The message of their songs, the depth of their videos, the hilarious and emotional aspect of their personalities. They were complete, all rolled into 5 members. It was TOP who caught my attention the most. He was my first bias, in 2008. After I had just been introduced to anime. After that, I was a V.I.P., up until now, Feb. 9, 2017. 

Being a VIP gave me a rollercoaster ride. I had many doubts about my favorite group in years 2010 onwards, mainly because of their scandals. But I came to realize and know the truth. I forgave them, they are only people. Faults do not define people, but their actions do. And what are their actions so far? They have been the best group of boys I have ever witnessed. I can’t believe they’re real, to be honest. This group, is just so HUMAN, so REAL. I only saw this kind of friendship and bond in fiction, but this, THEY EXISTED IN REAL LIFE.

I loved, love, and will love BIG BANG with all my heart. I became stronger through them. I felt their struggles, and had went through 9 years of my life WITH BIGBANG. It was a journey. They may not know who I am, and they might not even know that I exist, but I just want everyone, EVERYONE IN THE WORLD, to know that they played A HUGE PART IN MY LIFE. I would not be ME right now had I not known Big Bang. The values, the morals, the principles, my joys, my sorrows, my laughter, my emotions all have a part of Big Bang in them. They made an impact so strong to me, that I will never forget our boys, and I will always recount the 9 years (and counting) [that I have spent from elementary school, to highschool to college, and after college graduation] with BIGBANG. A person cannot truly know me if I failed to tell him/her about what made me. It is BIG BANG. 

I always had hobbies, obsessions, idols, and people whom I truly admire. Big Bang is on the TOP of that list. Other than family and friends, I have developed a bond with them, which makes them inseparable from my heart, soul, and mind. I liked other kpop groups, and other bands from other countries, but nothing touched my heart as much as Big Bang. So I just want to thank YG Entertainment also, for making bringing these 5 people, these 5 kindred souls together, and showing them to the world. I am proud of Big Bang and will be forever greatful to them, their music, and just their existence.

Predebut photo of my first ever OTP:

My fetus bias:

Big Bang who is my first love:


My favorite people in the world. Thank you for existing:


And of course, our forever sexy bingu art nerd, Seunghyun:

I am only a teenager and I have already felt my mind turn bitter and cynical. I am only a teenager and I have also realized the flaws in that way of life and know that there is a phase beyond. I am only a teenager and I have tried stopping feeling anything to make the pain go away. I am only a teenager and I now understand that the good is worth the bad, and that numbness is the only feasible hell on earth. I am only a teenager and I have been a prejudiced person. I am only a teenager and I know that what I thought, said, and did in the past is wrong. I am only a teenager and I used to blurt out any opinion that I had without caring if it was educated or not. I am only a teenager and I now understand that many of my opinions are unfair, a result of my own bias, and should not be voiced until I actually know what I’m talking about. I am only a teenager and I see people destroying themselves every day. I am only a teenager and I know how to and have to talk to people about trauma they’ve endured without being overbearing. I am only a teenager and I regularly witness the horrors that are the lives of people I love. I am only a teenager and I have matured far beyond my years. I am only a teenager, and I am much much older than most adults.
—  So do not EVER tell me teenagers have no life experience
Pocket Bestfriend (Part 1)

Summary:  Modern AU. This series is loosely based from a manga entitled “Dengeki Daisy”. It’s about a girl (the reader) who finds herself comforted by the words of an anonymous message-sender.  

Pairing:  Bucky X Reader, Steve X Reader

Warning/s:  Fluff (FOR NOW), Sick brother, Language

A/N: Y/N = Your Name. Enjoy reading!

Number of Words: 1,723


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The results would not be pleasant...
( darkiplier )
The results would not be pleasant...

Anonymous asked: Dark. what would happen to us if you let loose on your power? and do you and anti eat? i just am assuming that you both might not.

“For the first question… My powers can be very overwhelming for many of you to witness. Directly at one person, you would suffer migraines and even be subject to tinnitus after a time, as well as out-of-body experiences, shallow breathing, and frequent mind-blanks, at the most. It would be as if your own world had violently turned upside down, and you would fear for your life as you frantically ponder, in your mind, what horrors would await you from the eternal darkness. True fear comes from the unknown, after all.

Now, imagine all of that affecting a larger amount of people all at once, the magnitude multiplying by how many fall under my power. If you are confused, don’t worry your little heads over it. You may be better off not knowing. “Ignorance is bliss,” am I right? (chuckles) 

As for the second question here, yes, Anti and I do eat, though I don’t require constant sustenance like you humans do. Starvation and dehydration do not affect me at all. And Anti’s prefer type of cuisine is… well, I’m sure you all know what cannibalists typically dine on. I’ll spare you the details there.“

anonymous asked:

do you enjoy a little that tests you with her brattiness?

no. i dont. at all. only a maniac would.

the thing about brattiness… is that littles, contrary to popular belief, are not naturally bratty.  A good daddy… one who does his job correctly and efficiently never has to worry about having this issue

the bratty sub/little most commonly ends up being bratty as a result of the daddys incompetence as a caregiver or really human being in general. Its because hes failing at his job and she can only be so patient.. its because shes not getting what she wants and shes been incorrectly trained to deal with it through acting out in the past… its because she simply carries an attitude or a stigma that every relationship will be the same, so she ultimately tries to self sabotage as an effort of making things come to and end.

That way at least she can feel that it ended for a specific reason, by her own doing, and she can own it and feel ok instead of fearing abandonment, abuse, cheating, and anything else that some half wit jackhole who read 50 shades of grey would do to her…

however… 

What separates me from most of the daddys that I end up hearing about… is the fact that I am genuine, real and actually have a good record in the lifestyle of experience and training, and as such, I dont tolerate shenanigans.

 I especially dont tolerate unwarranted brattiness towards me when I have done nothing to deserve it. I put 100% of my best efforts into a person in order to improve their life.. and if after all that you spit in my face, youre not going to get an apology and a pat on the bottom from me while I grovel at your feet. You’ll be met with indignant umbrage and a reaction you didnt expect and wont like. 

test me with your brattiness? its a test youre going to absolutely fail.

Visions of Odysseus

Hi people!

This is something I’ve been playing with for a while. Hope you like literary allusions! Enjoy!

It was warm.

The kind of warm that sinks, fills, and comforts. A deep heat that’s centered in one spot, that would dissipate instantly if one moved. The kind of warm that urges a person to stay right where they are.

James and Thomas were curled in on one another, legs tangled up in the sheets. Skin melded with skin, sighs were breathed out as one, content and soothed. The warmth and softness contrasted with the chilly, grey London rain that pitter-pattered down outside.

Thomas’s fingers ran feather light over James’s chest, gently raking over the dusts of hair he found there. He hummed, his soft smile getting softer at the way James’s hand smoothed over his back at the found. Mornings such as these, ones when they were in James’s room, cozy and loved and lived in, familiarizing and blessing each other’s bodies, were the ones that felt most like dreams.

“Must you go?” Thomas murmured, ceasing his hand and gazing up at James, who let out a small grunt.

“Unfortunately, though I can spare a few more moments,” replied James with a smirk.

“I wish you could spare a million,” said Thomas. James chuckled and leant down, gently kissing him. Thomas rolled away from him so James could rise from the bed. The other man rose out of the cocoon of sheets, biting back a hiss when the chill of the room snaked across his skin as he gathered what he needed of his navy uniform.

“There will be a million and one moments waiting for us when I return. A month will pass by before you know it,” said James, smoothing his shirts.

“Yes, one month of Miranda and I alone without our greatest friend, leaving us to interact with stuffy nobles all on our own. They’re no fun,” sighed Thomas.

“I don’t know how you and Miranda managed without me,” James joked.

“Neither do we,” Thomas replied softly.

James turned and, seeing the utterly soft and sincere expression on Thomas’s face, laid his uniform on the table in the corner in the room, and returned to join Thomas on the bed. Thomas wrapped his arms around the other man instantly, pulling him down among the sheets.

“I can’t remember the last time a month felt so long. You have the ability to slow down time,” said Thomas.

“Do I?” asked James with a raised eyebrow.

Thomas nodded, “Yes. When you leave, one month feels like twenty years.”

“You liken me to Odysseus?” asked James, reaching out to run his hands over Thomas’s arm.

“The comparison seemed very apt to me,” replied Thomas, smirking.

“Oh? How so?” This was one of his favorite moments with Thomas, when they could forget about titles and duty and lose themselves in their books, the characters that touched them, and imagine a world other than this one.

“You’re both world travelers and exceptional sailors, seeing new places and making discoveries. Not to mention, you both are incredibly handsome,” said Thomas, reaching out to skate his fingers along James’s jaw.

“I don’t remember anything about his looks being mentioned in the translation I read,” chuckled James.

“Ah yes but that was written into the details James. Homer knew what he was doing.”

James chuckled again, low and deep in his belly; it vibrated through his body, making Thomas hum and snuggle closer to the other man.

“There’s another reason why you and Odysseus are alike.”

“What’s that?”

“You both have lovers, devoted lovers that will wait till the ends of the earth to see you return,” Thomas murmured.

“Thomas…” James breathed.

“It’s true. I will always wait for you, to see you return to my arms. One month, three, a year, ten. I will wait,” said Thomas.

“I promise you will never have to wait ten years. I can’t imagine being away from you for one year, let alone ten. I promise, I will always come back to you,” whispered James.

Thomas said nothing, but leant in and kissed James, chaste and soft, James kissing the same way. They parted, lips ghosting over each other.

“Now, sadly, I believe it is time that you must leave, yes? You don’t want to be late,” said Thomas.

James sighed, “Sadly.” He rose from the bed and began to put on the layers of his uniform. When he was dressed, he turned back to Thomas, still sleep soft and lazily smiling, legs curled in his sheets.

“Go. Help change the world, my Odysseus,” Thomas murmured as James nodded and left his room.

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Dresden at Hogwarts

Due to popular demand, this is everything I have written (including both bits I’ve posted). I’m not likely to write any more than this, so feel free to take it, run with it, add to it, change it, or whatever you like. I’m working more on Original Fiction, and going in to doing an MA in Creative Writing which is why I probably won’t get around to doing any more.

Enjoy.

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Non-traditional Way of Living: part two

Read part one here

Y/N was suspicious. There was something different about the air today and it almost made her nervous. She couldn’t quite put her finger on it, but there was definitely something. She only became more skeptical when Harry avoided her gaze at the breakfast table. He was always very chatty that one, so it alarmed her when his eyes were everywhere but on her. If she was being truthful, it kind of put a damper on her morning. She was anxious, worried she had done something to upset her sweet. 

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2

Some of you spoke to the police about what you believe you witnessed here yesterday. You wanna know my powers, know who I am, see what I can do. I’ll show you. Think of the person you love most in your life. Your wife, mother, daughter. Now that person will know what it is to lose someone they love, and live with that pain. Forever. Henryk, please. Don’t do this. My name isn’t Henryk. My name is Magneto.

anonymous asked:

How exactly did you find Evan and Connor fucking under the bleachers? I have a feeling Connor had the bigger dicc

Jared: rich and i were watching jake’s football game

Jared: i wasn’t in the mood for that. i don’t think i will ever be in the mood to witness that

Jared: *shudders*