what am i doing i am so confused

2016 was one of the hardest years of my life, but it helped me grow. What I want to leave behind in 2016 is you. I know I can’t do that. So what I am leaving behind is bad memories. I’m leaving behind the past. I am going to move forward whether you are there or not. 2016 can have my confusion and hatred. Let’s move on to happiness and a new beginning.
—  H.M
Non-verbal forms of communication: pet version

I’ve seen a lot of posts about “littles non-verbal forms of communication” and I thought to myself… most pets are non-verbal, but a lot of people (mainly inexperienced owners) don’t know what to do with a pet that’s being non-verbal. So here is a quick post explaining some (not all) forms of non-verbal ways a pet (mostly canine) communicates and what it means.

SOUNDS:

  • murr/purr/low moan: “I am content and comfortable”
  • growl: “I am feeling threatened/scared”
  • yip/mew: “I want attention/I want to play”
  • whine: “Something is wrong”
  • snarl: “I am very angry/get away from me”
  • bark: “I want attention/I am ready for –”
  • questioning murr: “I am confused/I do not know what to do”
  • howl: “I want my presence to be known/I want my pack”
  • roar: “I am feeling – and cannot express my emotions properly”
  • baying: “I am in pursuit of my prey/toy”
  • whimper: “I do not like the situation I am in/how I am being spoken to”
  • fake sneeze: “I want your attention back”
  • snort: “I have an attitude”

ACTIONS:

  • headbutt: “I want attention/pet me/I’m giving you affection”
  • rolling on back/exposing belly: “I feel safe around you”
  • curled up: “I am feeling insecure/anxious”
  • pawing at: “I want attention”
  • sitting and staring at: “I want something”
  • lowering self to floor, butt up: “Let’s play”
  • playful stance: “I want to play”
  • lowering self, curled up slightly: “I feel threatened/get away from me”
  • teeth bared: “I feel threatened/I am angry”
  • flopping over: “I am content”
  • shaking off: “I am trying to relax/settle down”
  • curling up beside someone while touching them: “I want physical contact”
  • nudging under someone’s hand: “Pet me”
  • swatting at: “Don’t touch me/I don’t want –”

[ * This is just a quick post, these are not all of the sounds a non-verbal will make and this is not the case for every single pet; this is more of a rough guideline. ]

wings era made me so confused tbh. like seriously i don’t know who i am anymore. what ships do i even ship? it was so easy back then but now? otp? bias? what even is a bias? suddenly i don’t understand the idea of bias anymore because damn. favorite song on the album? favorite solo? yeah, as if. honestly, who am i. who. am. i.

My Name, My Clothes, and HRT

Just want to throw this out there!

Thank you all so much for your support and well-wishing lately, I really do appreciate every bit of it!  You can imagine how scary it is to come out as a transwoman, especially when there’s thousands of eyes on you on a regular basis.

But I just wanted to say that what clothes I wear shouldn’t matter to my identity, and I know quite a few people get confused by that (and that’s totally ok!), but I’m a big proponent of “clothes shouldn’t be locked by gender” and you should wear whatever you like no matter what gender you are.

Do I want to grow my hair out?  Wear dresses or leggings?  Sure, why not!  But that doesn’t “make me a woman”!

I’m a woman because that’s what -I am-.  It’s how I feel, how I’ve always felt, it’s who I am and who I’ve always been.

I’m so happy to be out now, it’s extremely freeing and the support you’ve all given me has been so incredible that I feel very comfortable about being more and more myself outwardly how I’ve always felt inside.

So will you see me wearing dresses, skirts, leggings, etc?  I mean, probably because I like that stuff.  But gender isn’t defined by clothes, and it’s that’s really something important I want everyone to understand.

For my name, Kdin, it’s pretty gender neutral, and despite my problems I’ve had with it.  I’m keeping it.  It’s me, it’s part of who I am, and I do love it.  So I will stay Kdin, it was the name I was given at birth and I plan to keep it.  Some don’t keep their names, but I’ll be keeping mine cause I feel it fits me very well!

Now, onto HRT.  That’s a big one, and an extremely personal one.  If I decide to do HRT, it will be something for me, not for anyone else, because it’s something I feel I’d need to do.  When or if that will start is entirely up to me, and when I share that info is also up to me.  I’m a fairly open person, so if it happens, I’m sure you’ll all get your chance to know too and I feel very comfortably that I’d have your support in it!

So!  I hope that answers some questions, please still feel free to ask me questions, I love answering them!  I just wanted to put these major questions I’ve been getting asked to rest.

I need a brief moment to address something, I hope you’ll bear with me. Over the last few days and months I have been receiving some hate and a lot of you are choosing to unfollow me for standing up and using my voice to speak for things I believe in: Women’s rights. LGBT rights. Minorities rights. Protecting the environment. Whatever and whenever I speak my mind and explain how I feel, I receive the backlash and a lot of anger directed my way and I am saddened by it. I do not mind if you disagree with what I believe in, I do not mind if your opinion doesn’t line up with mine, but what I do mind is that so much of this hatred aimed my way says the same thing: “Stick to what you know, write poetry and shut up.” I am sorry, but I cannot and I will not. I write poetry to clear out the noise in my mind, to speak the truths I believe in, and I am confused how anyone who follows me can be at all surprised that Love, kindness, and compassion are at the roots of all of the things I write, and share.

I will not and cannot apologize for standing up for what I believe in, and my heart hurts that there are so many who would walk away, fingers in their ears and hands over their eyes, because I say things they may not agree with. What we need now more than ever is a coming together; not a further splitting apart. We need More love, not more hate, we need patience and compassion, not irritation and anger. I write a lot about love, living a life filled with it towards everyone and everything, and I hope that is seen in All I post, in How I live. The same button you clicked to Follow me exists to Unfollow, and I am sorry so many feel the need to do so simply because I do not think what you think, but I am most sorry that in doing so, you believe I should not Think, at all.

I love you all, all who support, challenge, and engage with me. I see you. I hear you. Even those that throw hate this way, I love you, too. Thank you for the patience you teach me; thank you for stretching the boundaries of my compassion. I am here, and I am not going anywhere.

Meme War

Tony has created a chatroom.

Tony has invited Sam, Steve, Bucky, Wanda, Nat, Bruce, Peter, Thor, Vision and Scott.

Tony: Okay so, me and Bruce worked real hard on this one.

Nat: Bruce and I, just FYI.

Tony: We created a special program that should keep anyone out that we don’t want in.

Tony: So they shouldn’t be able to get in.

Tony: Oh fuck off.

Scott: Wait who can’t get in and why?

Bucky: So how sure are you they won’t be able to get in?

Thor: Sir Ant-Man, I believe they are discussing Lady Y/n and Sir Clinton.

Bruce: I am hundred percent positive they can’t get in.

Peter: Um guys, I am a little bit confused. What did they do?

Sam: Well Thank Goodness.

Steve: I had enough of that nonsense.

Tony: Nope, just me and my buddy Bruce.

Vision: Peter, I believe it’s called a meme war.

Wanda: My buddy Bruce and I.

Tony: Will you stop correcting my grammar?

Steve: Will you start making proper sentences?

Tony: Oh you too, Steve?

Scott: Seriously, so that’s why you blocked them out?

Scott: Party breakers.

Sam: Well Tic-Tac, you don’t see memes all around the tower.

Wanda: I wouldn’t mind seeing them, if they didn’t suck.

Peter: Well some of them were good.

Steve: On who’s side are you now Peter?

Tony: Hey leave the kid alone.

Peter: I am just saying.

Y/N has entered the chat.

Y/N has added Clint.

Bucky: WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK?

Vision: I am not fully sure how this happened.

Vision: My computer doesn’t acquire that kind of information.

Sam: YOU SAID THIS WOULDN’T HAPPEN?

Bruce: But how?

Nat: I will seriously kill you two imbecilic.

Nat has left the chat.

Bruce: There was a special password that they need to guess before entering, and it’s not that easy.

Clint: Oh you mean “Y/N and Clint aren’t allowed in this chat”?

Clint: Pretty easy to me.

Wanda: Typical Tony.

Wanda: Now you should create a program that’s not gonna allow Tony to leave the chat.

Steve: Seriously Tony?

Thor: Interesting thinking, Lady Wanda.

Scott: Yeah, let’s torture Iron Man.

Scott: Who’s with me??

Bruce: I swear to God, I’m going to strangle you.

Bruce: Without turning green.

Y/N:        

           

Tony: Alright there buddy, calm down.

Vision has left the chat.

Tony has been disconnected

Bruce has left the chat.

Wanda: Someone’s gonna get their ass beaten.

Clint: Hey Vision

Vision: Yes, Mr. Barton?

Clint: How’s your vision?

Clint: Because

Clint:

Vision has left the chat.

Thor: Humans.

Thor: I would rather be stuck whit my idiot brother Loki, than you two.

Thor has left the chat.

Peter: Huh, good one.

Steve: I don’t get it.

Sam: This is so stupid.

Bucky: Lame.

Peter: I mean, buu, it sucks.

Y/N:

Clint: Hell yeah, Y/N, hell yeah.

Peter has left the chat.

Y/N: Yaiks, think I got him too hard.

Y/N: Poor little baby.

Sam: Then go suck his dick for comfort.

Sam:

Clint: Shit Y/N

Y/N:

Bucky: Y/N can I film it when you kill him?

Wanda: I’ll hold your hair so you don’t mess it.

Sam:

Scott: I will bring popcorn

Steve: I’ll plan a funeral.

Clint: I’ll bring memes.

Bucky: Oh dude, you know you’re going down.

Wanda: Harder than titanic.

Bucky: But not the way you’d like to.

Sam:

Sam: 

Y/N:

Bucky: GO Y/N, GO Y/N.

Clint:

Scott: Look guys what I’ve found.

Scott:

Wanda: HAHAHAHAHAHA

Steve: What is this?

Bucky: This is life

Y/N: Yasss Scott.

Clint: Good one.

Steve: I don’t get it.

Sam: Hilarious.

Steve: You gusy suck.

Steve has left the chat.

Y/N: BUT TONY SWALLOWS.

Clint: HAHAHAHAH.

Wanda has left the chat.

Sam has left the chat

Scott has left the chat.

Bucky has left the chat.

Clint: what the heck?

Y/N: They think their cool.

Clint: Let’s do something

Y/N: what?

Clint: Okay meet me in the training room in 5.

Clint: I have something great planned out.

Y/N: Can’t wait.

Clint has left the chat.

Y/N:

Y/N: Just had too.

Y/N has left the chat.


I dont even know anymore.

  • Me, who has never read Ava's Demon: why do these people have storage rooms in their torsos
the pope rap

so my wife (who was raised catholic) likes it when I get drunk and talk about popes. this is because 1) I am a delightful drunk and 2) i know a confusing amount about the history of the catholic church (especially considering that I am Jewish) and so since I am very tired, which is a bit like being drunk, I will share with you some of my favorite popes. with apologies to all devout catholics in the audience, what are you doing here, turn away now, abandon all hope ye who enter:


Pope Nope: Otherwise known as Pope Celestine V. Pope Nope was the founder of the Celestine Order. Pope Nope lived as a hermit in quiet seclusion and modesty.  Pope Nope absolutely did not want to be Pope.  After sending an angry letter to the Church saying they should pick a Pope ASAP (they’d been hedging on it for like two years), the Church said, ‘This is it. This is the guy.’ Pope Nope promptly tried to flee the country.  The Church sent people to physically drag him to Rome. One of his first edicts was to declare that the Pope was allowed to abdicate.  Surprisingly, he abdicated five months later.

Pope Douchebag:  Pope Boniface VIII.  Came on after Pope Nope. Declared first Catholic Party Times (jubilee) in Rome in 1300 (in an attempt to revitalize Rome in general, and yanno raise money, an ongoing theme in this story). This should’ve made him kinda cool, except he pissed of the King of France and the poet Dante Alighieri, who he sort of let get kicked out of Florence. This resulted in Dante Alighieri writing one of the most beautifully elaborate revenge fics in Western literature.  Now, Nope Douchebag (as a modern Dante would surely have called him)  wasn’t dead when The Divine Comedy was published, but Dante made sure that in Inferno, the chapter related to hell and all the lovely punishments waiting there, to have a character point to a flaming hole in the ground and say “AND THAT’S WHERE YOU’RE GOING, POPE DOUCHEBAG. THIS HOLE. IT WAS MADE FOR YOU,” so there’s that.

Pope Evil: Pope Alexander VI aka the Borgia Pope aka that guy you get into a slapfight with in Assassin’s Creed 2.  Alleged crimes include extreme amounts of nepotism, murder, rape, bribery, etc, etc.  He probably wasn’t actually necessarily as evil as everyone always says (most of the incest and murder stories were told by his political enemies) but bribery and nepotism was sort of just what you DID when you were Pope back in the day. He probably did not look like Jeremy Irons. He did, however, paint really tacky images of his favorite mistress all over the papal bed chambers which led to…

Pope Badass I:  aka Pope Julius II deciding ‘screw this I am NOT sleeping in a former Borgia love nest’ and so he decided to commission the building of Saint Peter’s Basilica aka one of the the biggest loudest holiest of holy ‘oh father in heaven how will we even do this?’ pieces of catholic architecture in the world.  Pope Badass did not believe in doing things half way. Pope Badass wanted to be remembered. He commissioned an assortment of remarkable artists at the time.  Bramante, Raphael, Michelangelo, like, a ton of ninja turtles. In the mean time, he also did little things like decide to retake the Papal states, the territory around the city of Rome, which the Church had lost over the last few centuries. How did he decide to do this? By ordering all the cardinals to suit up, get their armor on, go on a road trip, they were going to war.  If a local government didn’t do what he wanted fast enough? He excommunicated the whole city.  Pope Badass didn’t do anything half way.  He originally commissioned Michelangelo to build his future funeral tomb, but forever annoyed the grumpy artist because he kept pulling him away to work on new little side projects

like

yanno

the Sistine Chapel.

Yeah.

Party Pope: Pope Leo X, Medici Pope – yeah, from those Medici. Party Pope was not about to let being a member of the Catholic Church stop him from living the high life of Florentine nobility. Party Pope believed in huge banquets for all his friends and selling lots of indulgences to pay off that big basilica Pope Badass decided to build. Party Pope held a big banquet in which gold plates were thrown in the river. Party Pope had an actual real live pet elephant with red shoes. Party Pope kept conveniently putting off the letters written by a fellow by the name of Martin Luther, who kept writing him to be “uh, hey Party Pope, maybe you are partying a bit too hard, maybe you should like, cut down on that a little….” Party Pope did not stop partying.

Look, we’re not saying the Protestant Reformation was kind of his fault.

But

The Protestant Reformation was kind of his fault.

Pope Buzzkill: Pope Adrian VI. German. Didn’t change his name upon accepting the papacy. Arrived in the massive Roman hangover left by Party Pope. Decided “okay, yes, Catholics, we are partying too hard, let’s do something about that” and proceeded to try and pass a number of very strict laws and measures to try and curb the partying ways of the Church at that time. He was deeply unpopular for this. Because COME ON, Pope Buzzkill, it’s the RENAISSANCE.

He was so unpopular that, after his death, the Catholic Church did not elect another non-Italian Pope for some 500 years. Pope John Paul II. Yeah. As in the guy who was Pope 20 years ago.

They really didn’t like Pope Buzzkill.


Pope Weenie: SO THEY ELECTED ANOTHER MEDICI TO THE PAPACY. YEAH! CLEMENT VII!  PARTY POPE II! THINGS WILL BE AWESOME NOW! WE CAN HAVE MISTRESSES AND BRIBE EVERYONE AND GIVE OUR NEPHEWS HIGH POLITICAL POSITIONS AND

wait

France and The Holy Roman Empire are at war right now?

wait, why is Charles V coming over the scenic Italian countryside with all those really angry men

Yes, ladies and gentleman, through a general inability to manage the conflicting pressures from France and and the Holy Roman Empire, Pope Weenie wound up preciding 1527 over the Sack of Rome, in which the Holy Roman Emperor parked his expansive army in that big half constructed basilica that Pope Badass had decided to start building way back when.

Oh, and Pope Weenie didn’t grant Henry VIII that anullment he wanted. We’re not saying that the formation of the Anglican church was his fault. But it was kinda his fault.

Pope Badass II: Common lore says Pope Badass II aka Sixtus V got his start as an illiterate swineheard born to a peasant family in the Papal States. He rose his way up through the ranks through guile, beautiful oratory skills, and a will of iron. Pope Badass II was aware that as Pope, he did not have long on this earth, and he would get shit DONE.  When he looked at that unfinished basilica that Pope Badass I had started, Party Pope had sold indulgences to fund, and Pope Weenie had let troops run through, he said “You know what this needs? A finished dome.” He asked his architect how long this would take.

“Five years,” said his architect, trying to be optimistic. It would really take more like ten years, given all the work that still needed to go into and–

“Great,” said Pope Badass II, “Do it in two.”

AND THEN IT HAPPENED.

Pope Badass II also is amazing for his response to the sinking of the Spanish Armada, in which Queen Elizabeth managed to blow up a ton of ships belonging to Spain, which was at that time only, you know, the most powerful catholic nation in Europe. Was Pope Badass II pissed at this defeat against protestant forces? Who knows, but HE ALSO SEEMED TO THINK THIS WAS THE FUNNIEST THING HE’D EVER HEARD AND PRETTY MUCH WENT AHAHAHA THIS WOMAN WHO OWNS HALF AN ISLAND JUST TOTALLY WIPED THE FLOOR WITH THE SPANISH THAT IS AMAZNG HE WOULD TOTALLY MARRY QUEEN ELIZABETH IF HE WEREN’T POPE.

“Imagine what progeny we would have!” <— pretty much the quote. yes, ladies and gentleman, this is the VICAR OF CHRIST declaring that he would totally do Queen Elizabeth I.

Sadly, Pope Badass I also did some things that were not so badass. He was responsible for a lot of the Catholic Church’s harsher stances on birth control and abortion, of which we still see many the effects of today, so perhaps this puts maybe a bit of a damper on the true badassery he could have otherwise attained.

But one cannot deny he had excellent taste in ladies.

And also he got them to finish that dang dome.


And that’s my Pope Rap. Please feel free to add to it if you are a giant nerd like me and have collected random trivia about medieval and renaissance artists and political figures.  Perhaps, now that I have written this, my wife will no longer have to hear me talk about this every time I have like, half an appletini.

Perhaps. Perhaps.

But probably not.

Love Thy Enemy: Choices

Subtitle: No one’s going to read this today, but that’s ok, that’s what reblogs are for eh

Sub-subtitle: WHAT AM I DOING POSTING FIC AGAIN I AM A MENACE AND I MUST BE STOPPED

Sorry, this starts pretty abruptly and will be confusing without any context so:

PREVIOUSLY ON THIS TRAINWRECK OF EMOTIONS - The Emperor’s attack on Luke was quite a bit more brutal than what we saw onscreen, driving Anakin to kill Sheev-o with his son’s lightsaber so that he can live long enough to ensure that Luke can make it off the Death Star.  He intends to stay behind and die, but of course Luke’s having none of that.  With an appropriately schmoopy speech Luke lovingly twists his dad’s arm to come along, until they both have to book it out of there anyway when the docking bay’s atmospheric shields short out.  They blast off in Vader’s personal shuttle, and Luke doesn’t bother waiting for the inertial compensator to kick in before gunning it, so he passes out from the g-forces…

MUSIC: (because y’all know I’m gonna) A Place Among the Stars, Hans Zimmer, Interstellar // Will You Help Me? James Newton Howard, The Village // Special Delivery, James Horner, Bicentennial Man

I LITERALLY COULDN’T HAVE DONE THIS WITHOUT Y’ALL.  I have attacked many of you lovely peeps on my dash as I’ve agonized and torn my hair out and rewritten this disaster like 6 six times over and you’ve been patient enough to read my Google doc and brainstorm and everything aND…*SQUEAK*

SO HERE.  HAVE MY FEELS (again).  (ಥ﹏ಥ)  (ノ◕ヮ◕)ノ*:・゚✧



The air was escaping.

At least, that was Luke’s first conscious thought, in reaction to the faint hissing noise somewhere nearby.  His fogged brain conflated the docking bay’s explosive decompression with the idea that a piece of debris might have punched its way through the shuttle’s hull.  Alarmed, he tried to move, but his limbs weren’t inclined to follow orders at the moment.

Wherever he was, it was bright, with light passing through his closed eyelids, and he was curled up in a rather awkward position on something curved and pliable with his legs wedged up against another much harder surface, almost as if he’d fallen asleep spilling out of a chair.  If he didn’t know any better, he would have sworn he was simply hungover and waking from a very unfortunate nap underneath the Falcon’s gaming table.

It was all just a bad dream, huh, Han?

Keep reading

I’ve made my decision for 2016,” she announced proudly, sitting up. “Fire away then,” he said, his grin matching hers. “I am done,” she paused for effect. “I am done crying over things I regret not doing and I’m done regretting things I did. I’m done worrying myself sick about what the future will bring and I’m done trying to change my past.” He’d expected her to announce how she’d stop smoking, how she’d quit drinking, so he couldn’t help being confused at her words. “What are you gonna do?”
“I’m going to live my life to the fullest. I will burst into tears when I feel like it and I won’t stop until I feel better. I will laugh until my stomach hurts. I will embrace heartbreak and pain as much as joy, because without sadness there is no happiness. I will let go of people who make life hard and will welcome people with open arms who make life beautiful. I will scream at the top of my lungs, dance in my underwear, sing in the shower and spill my feelings to anyone who will listen. I’ll take care of myself. I want to be happy. And I will be. What else would I want for a new year, a new start?
—  2016
n.j.
THEORY TIME 2 (spoilers inbound)

OK so some stuff has happened, and i am having quite a bit of trouble processing it so this is gonna be super long and jumbled. lets see how this goes.

WHAT WE KNOW NOW:

-isabella was killed by oswald

(-but people tend not to actually die on gotham so im not even counting this as solid fact)

-oswald is doing everything in his power to force ed to forget about her (even if he has to use some pretty nasty manipulation)

-oswald feels at least a little bad about killing isabella, mostly bc he knows how much it hurt ed and bc hes scared ed will find out

-ed knows isabella was murdered, and he at least claims to think it was butch who did it

-(according to the next episode promo) tabs and butch are missing, and babs is on the hunt

-ed is going to seek revenge (most likely on butch, but possibly oswald depending on the situation)

-babs will give ed info about isabella in episode 11

-oswalds dad will be back in some way in a later episode

WHAT I WANT TO KNOW:

-who is isabella? im 98% certain she has some bigger significance - she’s too perfect to be a coincidence. same face and personality as miss kringle, only tailored to be perfect for ed in every way. obviously still suspicious

-is anyone in the gcpd going to question why there was an identical clone of miss kringle dating ed nygma and mysteriously dead in a train accident

-what role does the court of owls play in all of this? did they send isabella? who knows

-who actually kidnapped butch and tabs - was it ed and os or someone else?

-does ed believe it was butch, or is he just tricking oswald so he can get revenge?

-what info will babs be giving ed; are they going to team up to take down oswald? 

-when will fish come back into play? will she at all?

-in what way is ozzies dad back? who is he with?

SOME THEORIES:

Isabella

-isabella is a spy for the court of owls (a possible option ive seen is that shes actually isabelle cheranova (echo) from the comics, a russian telepathic spy)

-isabella is some sort of clone or something sent by butch/tabs to get revenge on ed and ozzie. where would they get the resources for this though? is fish somehow involved?

-isabella is just somehow a really big coincidence and is actually just a normal person who is obsessed with riddles and doomed relationships and has a weird choking fetish (and i REALLY hope this isnt true)

Ed

-he will find out oswald killed isabella, probably very quickly. 

option a) it turns out isabella was evil, ed forgives oswald, everything is peachy. option b) ed becomes furious and swears revenge then leaves                         option c) ed tries to kill oswald, resulting in an angsty and teary confession of oswalds love, which ed either accepts or gets mad at (”if you really loved me you wouldnt have tried to hurt me like this” type thing)           

-he already knows it was oswald and he’s just tricking him. his face and his stuttering before he said butch are making me a teensy bit worried

-he will team up with babs to get revenge on oswald, leading to that clip of him talking to tabs and babs

-he really believes it was butch and trusts oswald too much to suspect him (aww). he and oswald will kidnap butch and tabs to try to get revenge, babs will negotiate for them by promising info on isabella. i figure she could reveal either that isabella was evil or that oswald killed her

For the midseason finale

I can see a few options for it, and no matter what itll be super dramatic and angsty bc what else would they do.

-ed ends up hating oswald and spends the next half of the season trying to get his revenge and goes full on riddler. will he ever forgive oswald? will they somehow end up together by the end of the season? only time will tell

-somehow everything works out and ed and oswald end up together. will it be bc of a lie, will ed still believe oswald is innocent? will he not care about isabella by then? once again, only time will tell

-the court of owls was somehow behind basically everything, everyone is pretty much screwed, im not too certain of much beyond that tbh

IN CONCLUSION

AHHHHHHHH

Edit: is it just me or when eds stuttering before saying butch, does it kinda look like he’s gonna say “you”? Because if so that’s not a good sign.

when ur triggered and then u trigger urself MORE and then ur like “i know what will fix this” and then INTENTIONALLY trigger urself even further so that you totally dissociate and r confused and lost tbh

DAY 3180

Jalsa, Mumbai                Dec 12/13,  2016               Mon/Tue  12:16 am




I work for the eradication of TB in the country and shoot for campaigns for it .. I am a TB survivor and I can talk about it .. 

I am in debate and discussion on creative ideas running into hours on film and TV and biopics and so much more ..

I am in listening mode for stories and ideas, several of them, for future films to be made ..

I am overwhelmed ..

But even if I were to consent for just a few, it would take me to the rest of my life .. 

Human desires are difficult to control .. in time one would want to do all that is being offered .. but time is not on my side and so whatever comes must get immediate consent and execution .. and there lies the problem .. execution .. 

Bundles of stories discussed and narrated .. but time ..?

Living in this confused conundrum is what we are all about in the creative field .. were we to stop, we would perish ..

I am in photo shoot mode for Dabboo and his annual calendar .. 

I am loaded with a congestion that now wants to swim past and away from this over trafficked motor ways ..

I sleep .. love

I work at 6

Amitabh Bachchan 

anonymous asked:

I thought FAPuary was going to be some nsfw thing... I was so confused.

I am actually ugly laughing at every post that goes “FAPuary - really??” like I wasn’t 1000% aware of what I was doing with that tag. And it was voted as the most popular option so I’m not entirely to blame here.

Hilariously, it seems to be such a marmite thing. Some people are absolutely gleeful about how childishly suggestive it is, while others are like ugh *eyeroll* but ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ it’s just a fun art challenge with a stupid name that made me laugh. Maybe if I do this again next year I’ll come up with a more Serious and Mature tag, but we’ll see. 

being in love with me is easy. i will kiss you all the time, I will compliment you a lot, I will hug and cuddle you at every given chance, I will be silly with you, I will joke with you, I will take a million pictures of you and us, I will give you little things that made me think of you, I will tell you when I’m thinking of you, I will always think of you, you will be in all my thoughts, I will worry endlessly about you, I will always try to make you smile, I will always do my best to make you happy, I will always want you to be happy, I will always support you, I will always be there for you when you need me, I will give you space when you need it, and I will love you unconditionally. being in love with me is easy.

being in love with me is hard. I am clingy, I’m too touchy, You don’t like pictures, you will wonder why I need all the pictures, I will think of you too often, I need to much reassurance, I have a never ending need for reassurance, I will sometimes need you in the middle of the night, I have an inability to be serious, everything is a joke to me, if I have a thought I will share it with you no matter how insignificant, I will try too hard, I am too inconsistent, I will seem like I don’t care but I do, I will care too much, I will do everything I can to make you happy, I will love you unconditionally. being in love with me is hard. 

i have begun to worry that the things that make me easy to love will be the things that make me hard to love. i am not enough and never will be.