1/Wait also what anon below is talkimg about is a sentiment I've heard gay men in general express (that is, I hear it as much from cis gay men as trans gay men). So it's even more universal than he thought! Like I'm cis and gay and literally can't watch male coming of age films bc they make me feel weird and sad bc I feel like i missed out on all these hall marks of boy childhood (being friends with other boys, ability to express sexuality openly and so explore more freely that sexuality, etc).
2/ Also just gays being explicitly excluded from straight male homosociality. Like the bonds of straight men are in some ways founded on the exclusion of gay men (hating fags and objectifying women are the leitmotifs of high school boy conversation lol). 3/ oh if not clear I’m talking about the part where he said he felt uncomfortable being around cis straight men not the other part lol.
yup! this is very true. i’m consistently viewed as cis by most people at this point, but a lot of cishet men are still very much hostile to me because they read me as gay. even when straight men are friendly to me and/or not outwardly homophobic, there’s still usually an “othered” quality to our interactions, if that makes any sense. honestly my lack of ability to relate to Male Bonding stuff and some traditional aspects of male friendship probably comes more from my gayness than my transness, because i know straight (or at least more straight-passing) trans men who don’t have any trouble at all integrating into the male social sphere.
@redruinz ok then why no one has a problem with jim and harvey ships, or freezwald (vicror is hetro) or what about shipping carmine falcone with oswald. Newsfash carnine isnt gay but should that matter absoulty not so why the hypocracy. I am so sick of seeing people get bullied in this fandom over a fucking ship.
@redruinz if you seriously concerwd about the lgbtqa community then call out the assholes who where harrassing and being homophobic towards robin or call out the homophobes that complain or make nasty remarks about oswald being gay. Fanfictions and ships are ment to be fun fictional and its all fanstasy regarding their favorite fictional characters.
I’m sorry - I know these particular comments are directed at @redruinz reply but as this is my blog and it was my post you’re gonna have to hear from me. But seriously, do you want to know what I’m fucking sick of? People trying invalidate mine and other LGBT fans comments about homophobia in the Gotham fandom as “shipping wars.” How fucking dare you belittle and trivialize real peoples worries and pain about their representation, their ONLY representation I might add because it threatens a stupid M/F ship. It isn’t about uwuwuw who do u ship oswald more with jim or ed~~~ It’s about real pain and very real erasure.
Guess what? Shipping Oswald with freeze or falcone doesn’t take away straight peoples representation, THEY ARE REPRESENTED EVERYWHERE. If you want to find a straight character or couple literally go join any other fandom on this hellsite - you’ll find plenty. ALSO, by your twisted logic “neither carmine or freeze have ever said they were straight” so there you go. Not so fun to have that so called logic of yours about Oswald’s sexuality pointed back at you is it? And full offence but part of being a decent human means you are capable of caring about more than one thing at a time and I’m sure people who care about gay or lgbt issues in the fandom also have no problem calling out people who are rude to Robin while simultaneously calling out the sofwalds shitty homophobic asses out as well.
Yeah fanfiction is meant to be ‘fun’ but your fun shouldn’t be coming at the expense of real peoples feelings, identities and representation. Gotham has a main and recurring cast of 20+ characters and Oswald is the ONLY one who has been coded as gay since season 1, I don’t think it’s being greedy to say not to take that away. If you want to prop up the real bisexuals in the show maybe you should talk about Babs and tabs once in a while - oh wait except none of you give a shit about them because you don’t actually care about bisexuality you just care about getting to watch a boy and a girl fuck because half of you want to put yourself in Sofia’s place as a self insert and the other half of you don’t give a shit about LGBT representation unless it suits you.
If you want to be a real ally put your money where your mouth is and help the LGBT fandom’s voices be heard rather than smothering them with your useless rhetoric.
Some tips to writing gay sex when you aren’t a gay guy:
When your characters are cis men:
Preparation can be key. If your character didn’t expect to have sex that night, then he probably isn’t prepared. If there is penetration going to be happening, some men prefer to get themselves ready… y’know… clean up. Otherwise bad stuff can sometimes happen and it’s not pleasant for either person.
LUBE. Not spit. LUBE. Spit dries up really easily and it can pull on that sensitive flesh and that’s not a pleasant experience for most people. There are also different types of lube which you can choose from depending on the type of situation!
There are other ways of having sex then putting dick in butt. Many other ways. Explore them! This also applies to every other gender.
Stretching before penetration is important, it can REALLY hurt otherwise. Your character needs to be relaxed, but don’t overstretch them (that can hurt too). That ain’t fun buddy, don’t put your character through that.
Don’t just… have your guy who is on top slam his dick into the other? That’s not fun, put some speed differences in there, have him pay attention to the other’s responses.
When the characters are trans men:
All trans men are different, much like all cis men are different, and all girls are different, and all other-gendered-folk are different as well. Each has their own experience with their lives, these notes are just things that I’ve personally learned along the way, so they may not be applicable to everyone!
After going on HRT (hormone replacement therapy), men can grow facial hair and get a deeper voice.
If your character shows signs of having hormones, he may not be able to produce natural lubrication anymore in his parts. Much like cismen, he also needs lube.
Some trans men prefer anal, just cause gender dysphoria can suck sometimes.
Try to stray away from calling your trans character terms like ‘tranny’ or other terms that can be hurtful. (Some older generations may find power in the term, so this can change.)
Some trans men feel uncomfortable when people start talking about their ‘pussy’, calling them ‘woman’, or wanting to ‘impregnate them’ (which for some people -not all though- is impossible once you’ve been on HRT for a while). You might trigger the aforementioned gender dysphoria again in your readers, but also in your character.
It’s not a good feeling, so maybe stray away from that! :)
Be kind to your trans man, (and your other characters of course), so give him things that make him feel validated as the man he truly is. Use he/him/his pronouns, be obvious about it.
Feel free to add more! This is not an all-encompassing list! It’s also good to note that everything changes from person to person, so feel free to do some research and talk to trans and cis men alike, go out and write what you like, what makes you happy!
I often think about the first out of two times my gay ass got “rejected”. it was back in high school, she was a straight girl, a friend, who heard from someone else that I “liked” her (which I did, she was very pretty and interesting) and she came to me telling me very gently “um so I heard you liked me and well i’m not gay so, i’m sorry but no” and I was standing there chuckling like.. “I literally didn’t ask and I knew all that but okay whatever imma go get a smoothie” and left her there; and then she spent the whole day coming back to me asking why I “wasn’t bothered” or “wasn’t even upset” smdkgsfkhfd straight girls are wild