So, basically, you’re saying I’m overreacting, with a side of what about teh menz.
I would really like to call this guy out but I just don’t have the energy. All the other textbook privilege-blind Smart White Liberal Dudes I know will jump on the bandwagon and tell me there’s no reason for me to be upset about what he said and if I would just rationally consider it I’d realize the system is just a system that hurts everybody, not a patriarchy that specifically oppresses women and privileges men… and I'd just think why the fuck did I even try.
I want there to be an internet law about how if you mention white cishet men in a discussion, no matter how slight or benign the mention, it will summon a parade of white cishet men to make the conversation all about them.
Meanwhile, millions of middle-age women fawning over an underage Justin Bieber isn't considered creepy, right?
No - that is pretty creepy. It shouldn’t come as a shock that a 40yo man might be sexually attracted to a 23 yo super star who meets every western beauty ideal. That seems pretty stock standard.
What you should be outraged about is the post that inspired thousands of votes. A post that suggested the man would ‘sniff’ Taylor Swift in front of everyone, read violate her in public, and that would be amusing. It’s not funny, it’s scary.
Also, let’s not pretend that the dialogue surrounding young celebrity men’s sexuality is the same as the dialogue surrounding young celebrity women’s sexuality with young women being described as ‘jail bait’ and ‘newly legal’.
First, I want to apologize for my recent failure to post. I may or may not have broken my elbow (the x-rays weren’t clear) so I am sprinted right now. Needless to say, it makes typing more difficult.
When I did fracture/bruise my elbow, I did not tell anyone. As the night wore on, it got more and more painful until I couldn’t move my arm at all without almost crying. Still I kept quiet.
I am not the only person to do this. It is a weird sort of masochism, one that you only really seem to find in men. Which is why I always wonder when feminists cry “WHAT ABOUT TEH MENZ!” because in my experience, no one ever asks that question. I wouldn’t even ask that question, or admit to myself that their might be a problem, until I was sitting in the emergency room.
Boys are taught to brush off injury. It’s just a scratch, even if their arm is falling off. My own father will not acknowledge his own pain while mother runs to the doctor every time a new mole is found. As a society, we have so much set up to help women. Off the top of my head, Affirmative Action (both women and minorities) and VAWA, though I am certain there are more. We have no such laws set up for men.
I say “What about men?” because no one else does. When feminism mocks the question, they are just telling another four-year-old boy to “Man up. Only sissies cry. It’s just a scratch.”
I didn’t tell anyone about my elbow because I am an idiot (I readily admit that), but I am also in a society that tells me my pain is a joke and should be ignored. After a while, you begin to take that to heart.
So apparently some people have got it into their heads that female privilege is an actual thing. And that “sexism towards men” exists.
Sexism towards men does not exist. Sexism, like with any -ism requires you to have power. Women do not hold power over men (as far as gender is concerned, when it comes to race white women hold white privilege over men of colour but that’s white privilege NOT female privilege). Women have never held authority over men and have never been in a position to oppress men. So sexism towards men is not a real thing.
“but..but..what about the fact that the mother usually gets custody of the child. Isn’t that being sexist towards the father?”
No it isn’t. But this is an example of how men can be victims of patriarchy (note: I said patriarchy and not sexism). It’s patriarchy that assumes that the mother is the more suitable parent because patriarchy perpetuates the stereotype of women are better are looking after children.
Patriarchy also dictates that men are supposed to be “manly”- all macho and shit. Making it difficult for any man who doesn’t fit into this stereotype.
I really hope to one day be a father, but please DO recognize: this whole “but what about the fathers?” thing is just another iteration of the “but what about teh menz?” nonsense
sn: just for clarity’s sake, *before* someone mistakenly attempts accusing me of being a “man hater” I’m a cishet, xy-chromosome, melanin endowed, black man (or however you want to define maleness)
Moving on…there is one reason and one reason only that U.S. Courts award parental rights to mothers so frequently: because mothers are so disproportionately left with discarded children so that men can move on with starting a new life with a new wife. That there are exceptions does not disprove the rule
In other words, after decades and decades and decades of successfully employing patriarchal norms to shame women into being the “good mom” who is most often left with the financial and emotional burdens of child rearing, suddenly poor ole “aggrieved” fathers are balking at the very patriarchal snares that a male dominated society set up in the first place —and men are still the primary beneficiaries
Yes, obviously I can name plenty of fathers who have aggressively sought custody of their children following a divorce (or very often, a breakup where there was never a marriage)—and I can count my own father among such divorces—but those fathers are NOT the norm. Anyone who argues that fathers seek child custody “just as much” as mothers is employing a disingenuous “both sides” fallacy or is not knowledgeable on the subject. Think about it empirically with one simple question: who does our society shame most for abandoning their children - men or women? And here’s the real kicker: by and large our society blindly expects the woman/wife/mother to be the primary child rearer, but then mercilessly shames them for being unwed or divorced mothers—they are still mothers…but now divorced or unwed mothers. That kind of “heads I win tails you lose” pathos favors one gender only. There is no equal stigma for being an unwed or divorced father (see also: the “motherhood penalty“ where women are paid less because they’re expected to need more time off for mothering…even when they aren’t mothers. conversely, even when they aren’t fathers, men are routinely paid more because of possible future fatherhood status)
So yeah, I can support *any* divorced person who wants custody of their children —regardless of the parent’s gender, but let’s be a little bit real here
People are so consumed by focusing solely on female issues, no one actually stops to think about the validity of the “whataboutthemen” argument. As slow as the dialog is in the video, the creator makes some good points.
why do people say that transwomen can say you can hurt transmen
thats not cool
transmen are constantly erased. most people dont know they exist. and guess what? you guys talk about wanting mroe transwomen in media, but there are tons. there is no transmen. transmen are erased, and when we try to say it, people are like “BAWWW WHAT ABOUT TEH MENZ”
ok i know you want to only be the victim(for some reason) but transmen are constantly harassed irl as well. we get called tranies and shemales and he-she’s and suffer from corrective rape and we also get murdered. not everything needs to be ab out women on here.
for a while i was scared to state my opinion on this shit here. thats a bad sign.
also being truscum in no way means you hate transwomen. not everything is against transwomen. DISAGREEING WITH A TRANSWOMEN ISNT TRANSISOGYNIST also how is transmisandry not real? it is.
“all trans men should die”
“kill all trans men”
“everything shoudl be feminine”
those arent opinions or venting. that’s disgusting and erasing identities and struggles.
in short: shut the fuck up if you hate transmen or think transwomen are more important.
About the 'leaked' nudes, it also happened to one of the Sprouse twins, and they were able to joke around about it (e.g. changing the twitter bio in 'n00d pics dealer' and the other one saying 'ooh it was so cold'); and I mean, I am okay with support, but "what about teh menz" annoys me a lot.
men need to stfu when it comes to conversations about sexism, especially about the violation of women’s bodily autonomy
I find it interesting that most references in pop culture to the execution and trials of 1612 are missing the references to the two men who were executed also - James Device and John Balcock.
I get that the majority were women, but it seems like the deeprooted witch-as-female cultural narrative is in play here.
And no, this isn’t me saying “But what about teh menz??” It’s me thinking out loud about marginal people and liminal spaces, about ambivalent shapes, deeds and forms.
The Name of A Thing as That Thing is old magic, deep magic. It’s how you make worlds and keep them together, isn’t it?
Except…that’s the world we’ve been brought up in…The pillars of our existence are that a hand is a hand, a line is a line.
But things are stranger than that, aren’t they? Fuzzier. Like the many-branching roots and the hairs on their tinier tips.
The rhizome furs up. Grows teeth and claws; portents and omens fill the air.
Powers breathe with heavy breath, the wind carrying the scent of nightherb and blood; milk and honey mixed with the odours of desire now comes - not to curdle, but to lavish.
Bathed, quite queerly, with soul of soil; an intrigue that plunges us into starry pools down deep beneath the bonedream.
Split-tongued and afire; immolatory idolatry wreathed in shining rainbow scale; doubleheaded twiceborn monsters unfurling wings that recall the screaming nightmare birds of old.
How were we conceived if not as beloved abomination? The pressures of Life select our endless freedoms, our limitless unbindings - endless cellular dividing, cankerous in our unthinking shine and gleam, our ever restless onrushing.
Words now Weird, woven from semantic drift - the flotsam and jetsam unveiled by rhythmic ebb and flow. We pick our way through driftwood long since swept away by countless Deluge, careful wading-hops and skips.
Punch the holes. Context is cut-up confetti. It rains down to curl and burn, bright and spark-blackened with pieces of forgotten shadow.
Whose wedding Is this? Whom do gods join that Man may not divide? What Bride advances down these wide aisles to meet their complementary Being before the altar on which sits that Severed Head?
There is an awful brocolage to poets’ wicker frame. The eidolon and Image flickers and shimmers in an unspoken heat haze that leaps and dances.
Streamers of thought peel off the Smoking Mirror of Mind, distant echoes of alien angels fossilized in time like bloodfat mosquitoes trapped in sticky obsidian amber.
The shewstone reveals a conman’s polyvalence. Spouses held in common, back to back, blending and bending back from behind on Enochian tantric designs that sing out like circuit boards for the psyche.
And through all this, sense is kept.
Through all this, there twines a root. A string in the labyrinth of this ambiguous, queer logic. The bent and crooked Witch-Logos. The smithstain that creeps and crawls, cold fire beyond flesh, smooth and spitslick as the piping whistle.
No end to this, no beginning. The terminal velocity is reached from an instantaneous standing start.
Each piece is All. Each word a language. A world to be explored, climbed, traversed. It is vast and Dragon-haunted, shot through with wise and greedy wyrms.
If only I could reveal to you all these fairy treasures, these impish dwarven wrightings that would vanish in light of mundane mornings. But to do that, I would have to tear out your eyes and tongues and hang you til you were dead.