what a poop day it was!

A comprehensive guide to caring for your ugly lil pixel horse
  • The horse can be found if you click on the little horse icon in the bottom left corner.
  • The horse poops all the time. The poop releases a deadly, airborne toxic that will kill your horse within fifteen seconds, unless the poop is removed.
  • If the horse poops twice within a short span of time, the poop will release twice as much toxin, killing the horse twice as fast.
  • You remove the poop by clicking on it.
  • If you don’t remove the poop and the horse dies, you can hatch a new one. Presumably from an egg.
  • No, you can’t change its name.
  • Clicking on the horse itself will make a small heart pop up and then drift upwards. The heart is completely useless. It will not save your horse from the poop toxin.
  • Clicking anywhere else will do absolutely nothing.
  • Going to a different part of Tumblr - anywhere that’s not your dash - will pause the horse.
  • Shutting down your computer will pause the horse.
  • Switching tabs to another site, like Facebook or Google, will pause the horse.
  • Minimizing the horse window will not pause the horse.
  • The horse will just keep pooping.
  • The horse will die from the poop toxin.
  • That’s how I killed my first horse, True.
  • Now I’m stuck with Earl of Aegae.
  • Whom I don’t like.
  • Despite that, he’s over 100 days old.
  • So I know what I’m doing.
  • Trust me.

anonymous asked:

important question: who puts emojis next to their contacts' names? my heart says lance and coran, and hunk only has them for his friends

  • Lance is an emoji god. You can summon him w a pentagram composed entirely of 😘, 💯, 😫, 👌🏽, and 🔥
  • Coran’s contacts are exclusively in emojis and only he can understand them
  • Hunk uses lots of nicknames and cute emojis he associates with his friends <3
  • Keith has everyone’s first and last name put in all very professional like, but if you click on the contact you’ll see that he’s actually lovingly filled out the hidden box labelled ‘description’.
  • Pidge doesn’t assign any contact names and instead has everyone’s numbers memorized as a joke. Lance is so offended when he checks Pidge’s phone one day to see what his contact name is and he’s greeted just by his phone number.
  • Allura puts lots of stars and hearts next to everyone’s name :3c
  • Shiro uses pr plain contact names because he hates texting (he can only use his one hand so it’s clumsy). Allura’s name contains an embarrassing amount of hearts and heart-eyes however. Keith’s contact name is just the poop emoji.

I drew @commanderholly in a cute/witchy outfit. I was planning on drawing her in one of her Looks™ but that just…didn’t happen?

Things have been blowing up recently with YouTube and it’s genuinely upsetting. But Commander Holly is honestly such a role model. She marches, she uses her platform to speak on real issues, and she’s just an all around incredible woman. So I highly recommend watching her content, because she’s a genuinely good person with a lotta’ heart.

The future - and it is showing us this loud and clear

This episode was amazing. After flailing and basically shouting all day I am so happy and so excited that I joined tumblr - the quality of posts today has been excellent, both humorous and inciteful and I LOVE YOU ALL :)

I hope its ok I’m going to tag a few great posts in this to reference as I don’t want to go over stuff other people have already meta-d about so excellently!

This episode, titled the future, seems to me to be Dabb basically telling us what he wants for the next part of the show, the “better way” that he wants to take it.

So here are my main bullet points that I will expand on a little below and link those excellent posts to where relevant:

A. Sam 

Sam is clearly portrayed again, recurrently as the researcher, the “brains” of the operation (before you say ‘Dean is so clever though!’ I’m just pointing out Sam’s love of the scholarly side of things and how this is where he fits). Sam’s endgame must now be to head up the MoL/hunter network in this respect.

B. Sam and Dean 

They work so well as a team here, Sam putting a tracker in Cas’s phone while he’s distracted by Dean, researching v whatever Dean was doing (maybe making a pining mixtape along the lines of “all by myself” and “I miss you” “please come home”, BUT they are shown as different people, with different interests, skills and relationships - with Cas for example, & not codependent. Again hammering this home in this episode. THANK YOU DABB, GLYNN & BERENS.


This whole episode is one big love fest. We went from one ‘wow I can’t believe they just did that!’ to the next to the next with hardly enough time for us to catch out breath! WHAT WAS THIS EPISODE?!

OK, so we have :

1. My Romeo & Juliet / Gaze up Trope Balcony Meta.

2. The Mixtape Meta, another EXPLICIT romantic trope by @drsilverfish.

3. The Dean “keep it” parallels, the first one that came to my mind was Arwen (another human+ / eternal being who decided to relinquish immortality couple):

Aragon: this belongs to you.
Arwen: keep it, it was a gift… it is mine to give to whom I will, like my heart.

But also all the other ‘gift’ tropes, the standard romantic trope that when a couple breaks up you return the gifts…. I think Cas wasn’t sure he was going to be forgiven, after Dean’s outburst in the war room, so he goes to return the cassette, but Dean does forgive him nearly instantaneously, which actually makes it even worse that he has to steal the colt straight after…

5. The difference between Sastiel and Destiel again emphasised, more and more this season. I don’t think I even have to detail this, just, basically the whole episode shows this.

6. This magnificent gifset by @magnificent-winged-beast which shows the difference between Dean’s angst at actually watching the colt get destroyed and the potential killing of Cas…

Slight aside - Performing!Dean. 

This magnificent gifset that shows Dean’s facade coming down, he doesn’t even attempt to make it sound less ‘gay’ when he tells Sam that Cas came to his room, played him and took the colt from his secret hiding place under his pillow, he even looks down before he says it like he KNOWS how it is going to sound but says it anyway. 

source: @yourfavoritedirector.

And Sam doesn’t even flinch. YES THANK YOU DABB, GLYNN & BERENS!

4. SO…WHY is Dean still doing everything he did for Cas during this episode and still defending him to Sam even though he appeared pissed and Cas repeatedly betrayed him?

Well, in 12x12 Cas said “I love you”, clearly understood by Dean (and Sam to be directed at Dean). There was no real reciprocation though from Dean, other than Dean family-zoning him and Sam’s fantastic “we are doing this for you, Cas”. 

So regarding Dean, Cas is hurt and believes it isn’t reciprocated. Now Dean is pissed and still using the WE card at every turn, so what is a celestial being to do? Cas assumes this is the end, that there is no hope, he returns the mixed tape. BUT Dean says no keep it, this is NOT the end. 

Cas understands that this is therefore not the end, but it is complicated. He explains that he wanted to “come back with a win for you…. for myself”. He wants this for Dean and for himself, this is very important, everything he is doing now and in the future is NOT all about Dean, there is his own agency and morality involved here too.

For Cas, when it comes to it, he wants this reciprocation of his love of course, but right now he has bigger fish to fry and really he wants to protect Sam and Dean and save the world

Now, going back to the “what the hell is wrong with you man?” followed by an awkward silence…. and where Cas then goes to return the gift. Yes, Cas feels that he has said his piece in 12x12 and is rebuffed, but meanwhile Dean is struggling with what Cas has said and everything else that is going on. He has a lot on his plate, not only Cas but his own personal history, his deep seated issues that he is clearly working on this season (see all the performing!Dean facade crumbling meta going around), his issues around his mother, the BMoL, Lucifer, the nephilim…. I mean that is a lot for an emotionally healthy person let a lone DEAN WINCHESTER.

Dean is trying to say / show how he feels he’s just rubbish at it, but he’s getting better!

“We?” “Yes dumbass, WE.” This is his forgiveness. And it is betrayed just moments later. But does this stop him trusting Cas again? NO.

THIS IS EXTREMELY IMPORTANT. For their dynamic, to show that they still do ultimately trust each other.


Oh, and I just need to add how desperate I am for Sam to turn to Dean soon and just say “No, Dean, this is between you and Cas, stop bringing me into this”. PLEASE I SWEAR I WILL BE GOOD! I mean, how repeated, consistent and out of place it was (I mean, not only to shippers, I think anyone would think it was out of place the way it was portrayed in their personal conversation in Dean’s room) - this has got to be addressed, no?!

 5. A better way

So. What does this mean moving forwards?

Well, firstly, I have moved from being 85% sure Destiel would be endgame to about 95% sure. Lets be real. This episode cements this. Whether you like it or not, it’s happening.

So, what is the better way?

Overall, it seems that Dabb wants to move things forwards. And his key points all season are Free Will, breaking from past repressions and negative influences, moving forwards with what the characters choose and want for their endgame and for sure now endgame Destiel.

I have in the past speculated about quite a lot of stuff, some right and some… still to be seen and some not right, but the overall arc speculation that I saw foreshadowed since early season 12 is RIGHT ON TRACK.

Now, the question is will Dabb go backwards and go to the old, standard SPN ways where probably Dean and Cas will be separated, Cas will be wrong again in his trust in the nephilim - it WILL be evil (rehash of s6 and s8) and he will need to be ‘broken’ from the mind control by Dean in a stronger crypt scene etc etc etc.

Or will he move forwards, onto a “better way”? Will we get another s11 ‘happy ending’? Where it appears all good but there is still stuff going on behind the scenes for s13… Or maybe a not so happy ending but that ultimately will be resolved happily? 

Maybe the baby has it’s grace removed (so glad this is an option it was driving me insane that they hadn’t mentioned it by now!) OR it’s not evil at all! it’s the ANTI-anti-Christ, it chose Cas because he is Lucifer’s mirror in that he LOVES Humanity. I mean, the whole point of the show is agency, free will and not being forced to follow the result of your parentage / past ….especially this season with Sam and Dean’s arcs….

Maybe human!Cas, potential hunter Daddies, Cas staying at home calling Dean while he’s out on MOTW hunts with Sam being all “Dean there’s poop everywhere, I’m sorry it got on your favourite shirt, but please please come home this is so hard!” “OK babe, don’t worry, we’ll be back tomorrow, the case was a milk run!” when actually Dean nearly died and Sammy saved the day and…. etc because really? what are we supposed to think from that motel scene? With Cas smiling all cute and using the world “righteous” when talking about the kids future guardian?! (and Kelly survives if we are going to be extra nice).

Maybe Lucifer will die / be dealt with and it is the MoL that are the big bad next year…..aiding the overall future arc of TFW as leaders of the MoL/Hunter collaboration (Chuck I hope so).

Or will it be a mix of the two?

Well my money is on that it will be a mix….  


Originally posted by detesntthoughts

So I just read this article about how people end up fucking up whatever task they’re doing when they feel like they’re being watched.  Scientists have discovered that the sense of being observed actually SHUTS OFF a part of the brain, the inferior parietal cortex. 

Given the fact that women are constantly watched in our society, and we are constantly REMINDED that we are being watched by people making fun of fat, “ugly”, or gender-nonconforming women, it makes me wonder how many women have messed up important tasks or projects or just day-to-day activities because A PART OF OUR BRAIN is permanently being deactivated?

Like talk about a fucking handicap.

Women are constantly held under the microscope- whether we are attractive or unattractive, the gaze of patriarchy never ends.

Just last week I was walking my dog and bent over to literally pick up poop.  Suddenly I heard whistling and looked up cause I knew I was the only person around.  Sure enough, about 300 feet away, some construction worker was perched on top of a building, grinning at me and calling out stuff I luckily couldn’t hear because he was so goddamn far away.

I wonder what it does to women to have this constant source of stress hanging over us, each and every day, knowing we are being scrutinized and examined no matter what we’re doing.  I wonder how many more accomplishments, life-changing discoveries, inventions, etc would have been achieved by women if we didn’t have this constant brain-handicap imposed on us by men.

  • me talking in normal, every day life: fuck, shit, god fucking damn it, cockwaffles, fuck is my favorite word so fuck you, suck a bag of dicks, TITS
  • me, when something bad/startling happens: oh jeez, goodness gracious me, oh dear, poOP

peanut butter stuffed dates with dark choco drizzle (maple syrup+cocoa powder) so yum next day you’ll have the best poop of your life

anonymous asked:

Headcanons on the bros taking care of their newborn children? <3 I am OBSESSED with them being dads, idek---

As you can tell by the length of the post, I am obsessed as well. I hope it’s okay that I wrote this from a post game perspective. Yay everyone is alive and not dead and they’re happy with children.  Enjoy <3

Chocobro Dad’s Taking Care of their Newborns (Head Canons)


  • Since he is the King of Lucis, he has countless people to assist him.
  • Though, he tries to avoid asking for help from anyone but his s/o.
  • This is his child. He wants to be as much as a father as Regis was to him.
  • He is a nervous, anxious mess.
  • Oh gods, it’s crying. What do I do? What do I do?
  • He’s almost too scared to hold his own child. He doesn’t want to hurt them.
  • They’re so small and delicate. IF I TOUCH THEM THEY MIGHT BREAK.
  • Despite Noctis’s ability to sleep for days, he wakes up before his s/o just to check on the baby. If the baby is still asleep, he will pull up a chair beside their bassinet and watch them sleep.
  • His s/o has found him many times asleep, with his head against their child’s bassinet. Completely knocked out. 
  • If the baby is awake, whether they be crying or looking around, Noctis will pick them up and hold them.
  • How does this little thing poop so much? They only drink breast milk. What the heck?
  • Noctis cannot change diapers. That’s when he calls for some outside assistance.
  • He’s tried to do it himself several times, but…. it doesn’t end well. 
  • He doesn’t have a baby voice, unfortunately. He just talks to his baby in hushed whispers.
  • His work doesn’t allow him a lot of quality time with his newborn, but whenever he has a chance to sneak away he will.
  • Even if he can only sneak a quick peek at his child and press a kiss to their forehead, being late to a council meeting is totally worth it.


  • Fatherhood comes to this boy so easily. 
  • He’s always been great with kids, but now that he has his own child… wow.
  • He’s been preparing for fatherhood the second his s/o tells them their pregnant. He’s ready for all the challenges.
  • The second his child is put into his hands, he does not want to let go.
  • What does his regular voice sound like again? No one can remember…
  • Prompto has taken on diaper duty.
  • So many poop jokes.
  • Whenever Prompto goes out shopping to restock on baby supplies, he comes back with numerous stuffed animal moogles and chocobos. This baby is so spoiled by their father. It’s precious.
  • If the baby wakes up crying during the night, Prompto and his s/o both wake up.
  • It’s a team effort.
  • They take turns trying to calm the baby down by holding them close and rocking them back and forth.
  • If that doesn’t work…. Prompto breaks out the funny faces.
  • There has never been a baby that smiles so much.
  • Hates leaving the baby when he needs to go to work. Calls his s/o at least a dozen times and ask to talk to the baby over the phone.
  • When he goes to work at the citadel, he brags about how his baby is the cutest creature that’s ever lived on Eos. He brings his camera to work to just show off pictures.


  • Tries to keep his cool, but is internally screaming.
  • He’s nervous to be a father but he loves his newborn more than the air he breathes.
  • Most protective dad award.
  • If anyone but he and is his s/o wish to hold the baby, he becomes very defensive.
  • What if they don’t hold them correctly?
  • Just don’t touch his kid, okay?
  • Doesn’t mind being waking up in the middle of night with the sounds of crying and screaming.
  • Only he can lull the newborn back to sleep.
  • Totally sings them to sleep.
  • Like Noct, he doesn’t have baby voice. He talks to his baby like an average person.
  • “You’re hungry? You don’t have to cry and scream. Just tell me.”
  • Gladio and his s/o take turns on diaper duty. He hates it, but he gets the job done. That’s all that matters, right?
  • Once the baby is old enough to leave the house often, Gladio puts the baby in their stroller and take them on his morning jogs. The baby loves it. Usually they doze off during the duration of the jog.
  • Gladio loves to hold his baby while he lounges on the couch after a long day of work.
  • They both fall asleep. It’s precious.
  • Can’t wait for his kid to be able to eat cup noodles


  • Ignis has always wanted to be a father.
  • He’s cared for the prince for so many years… he’s had some good practice of taking care of others.
  • Though he’s a blind man, his disability doesn’t stop him from being a great father.
  • He can change diapers perfectly. His s/o has no idea how he does it.
  • He has the cutest baby voice but lets no one hear it. Only his s/o has caught him a few times using it. When addressed about it he says, “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”
  • Makes sure the house is spotless and 100% baby proofed.
  • His s/o doesn’t allow him to get up and take care of the crying baby in the middle of the night. Ignis works too hard during the day. He needs sleep.
  • Ignis gets up anyway. 
  • He always teases his s/o by saying that the baby “Only just wants to see their father’s face.”
  • Baby will instantly stop crying once Ignis takes them in his arms.
  • “Told you, darling.”
  • Already thinking up new recipes for baby food once the child is weening off breast milk
  • Though he can’t see, he knows his baby is the cutest baby on Eos… He and Prompto get into arguments over who’s baby is cuter.

kymochii-deactivated20170117  asked:

For your adopted brothers au what if when they were younger and Keith wouldn't stop doing something that Shiro didn't want him to do so he would always count down from 10 so then one day Keith decided he wouldn't fall for Shiro's countdown (he always stopped when Shiro said "10") so he doesn't stop doing the thing and Shiro's like "10...9...8...7...6...5..4...3..2.." aND BEFORE HE SAYS 1 KEITH JUST STOPS THE THING IN PANIC

They totally would

My sister pulled this shit on me 24/7 when we were kids and let’s just say I’m glad I never had to experience what happened first hand if she reached 0 so I feel Keith

My Timeline of Top Surgery & Recovery with Dr. Raphael in Plano, Texas.

This is just a master post of my top surgery experience & recovery. I had double incision mastectomy with nipple grafts in Feb of 2016. I also had lipo. The total was $6,750 ($6,000 for the masc and $750 for the lipo on the sides.)
Pictures will be made available at request.


  • Because I do not live in the Plano area I drove 5 hours to Plano the day before my surgery and had my pre-op apt that same day.
  • At pre-op I met with one of the nurses and with Dr. Raphael. This is your opportunity to talk to him about your chest, incisions, to bring up concerns and so on. In my case, my mom asked all the questions because she wasn’t as versed as I was on what was going on. 
  • At pre-op they give you a lot of things to sign, they take before photos, and just go over the basic run down of everything you need to do before surgery.
  • Try to plan your pre-op apt as early as possible that day. You will have to go get your prescriptions the day before your surgery and you don’t want to run into the pharmacy closing on you or any issues with the pharmacy not accepting the scripts. I went to Walgreens to get mine filled and they gave me a hard time which led to an hour run around between Walgreens and the doctors office.
  • I was prescribed extra medicines because I had issues with nausea in previous surgeries. If you have concerns about nausea tell the nurse at your pre op and they will get you what you need to prevent you from getting sick. They will walk you through possible medicines you may need based on your medical history and/or allergies you have.
  • The anesthesiologist will call you the night before your surgery. They will tell you not to eat anything too heavy for dinner and to make sure it is pretty bland. I couldn’t eat any dairy either. Also, clear liquids for the most part. Of course they advised me not to eat after 10pm for safety. 
  • Make sure you have a support system with you. First of, you can not have surgery without someone to be with you but I took my mom, my best friend and his brother with me. The surgery center also will not let you have surgery without people to care for you afterwards.
  • Pack or get yourself some button up shirts. You will not be able to get into t-shirt well if at all that first week or so. If you are trying to get into t-shirts that first week you will more than likely pull something as you are not supposed to be lifting your arms at all. (Think about the arm range of a T-Rex. That will be you.)
  • I am a pretty hairy individual so I shaved my chest a couple days prior to surgery. About a week before surgery you should start prepping your body for surgery. You will wash your chest with Betadine Skin Cleanser. You should get this information when you set your surgery date. If you don’t get it, email the office.
  • You will take 500mg of Vitamin C daily in addition to any multi vitamin you may be taking. DO NOT take any extra Vitamin E because it may cause some bleeding.
  • Do NOT take any aspirin or ibuprofen one week prior to surgery and up to two weeks after surgery. (i.e. Bufferin, Anacin, Advil, Motrin, Datril, Excedrin, Anacin-free, etc.)
  • NO SMOKING. Especially 1 week prior and two weeks after surgery.
  • Also, you will have to stop testosterone 2 weeks prior to surgery.


  • My surgery was at 7am and lasted about 3 hours according to my best friend.
  • When you get there you will check in at surgery check in desk on your right after you go through the doors.
  • When they call you back you will change out of your clothes into the hospital gown and socks. (I took this opportunity to take my last selfie in my binder.)
  • You then will be escorted to your surgery bed. The nurses will get you all cozy and warm (I personally overheat easily so I had to have them cool me down a little bit) and start your IV. The anesthesiologist will make an appearance to just walk you through some things. Dr. Raphael will also come in and draw the incision marks and other surgery related things on you.
  • After everything they will use your IV to put you to sleep and start wheeling you to the surgery room. I remember being wheeled to the back and everyone being all smiles. I knocked out right when then they put me on the surgery table.


  • I woke up and I only remember them asking me if I wanted something to drink (sprite? ginger ale?). I also remember being wheeled out to the car and my best friend and his brother getting me in the car. I remember being placed in the bed in the room. I remember taking a post op selfie and being able to use the restroom by myself.
  • Wearing sweat pants and/or athletic shorts are a must after surgery.
  • My first meal after surgery was mashed potatoes and gravy. Something pretty light is always best.
  • You can only sleep on your back and you have to sleep elevated.
  • I personally had a problem staying awake the first 3 days after surgery or so. I would fall asleep in the middle of doing things. 
  • You will have a post op the day after surgery. Here they will teach you and whoever taking care of you how to care for your dressings for the next week.
  • Your chest is dressed with pads to soak any blood from your incisions. If you had lipo you will have a half pad on those entry points below incisions. Over that is 2 ace bandages that are wrapped tight to deal with swelling. (They are meant to be tight but if you have trouble breathing then loosen them. They are there for support.) The ace bandages will be wrapped over your chest and your lipo points. The ace bandages stay on majority of the time unless you are changing the pads. DO NOT MESS WITH YOUR TAPES OR ANY OTHER BANDAGES! Only change the pads once a day.
  • Dr. Raphael does not use drains.
  • I developed a minor rash around my lipo points because I had to much moisture there from the neosporin. If that happens to you stop putting the neosporin there.
  • At your one week appointment they will remove the dressings and you will see your chest for the first time.
  • Reveal day is very emotional for most people and I knew that I would forget everything that the nurses told me in terms of my continued aftercare. My tip is to have someone record the entire exchange so you can re-listen to the aftercare instructions later.
  • At one week I was told I could drive again, I could sleep on my sides, I could shower again, and that I could wear t-shirts again. (I personally waited to drive longer than that though because I did not feel comfortable at all.)
  • You will continue to wear the ace bandages for a month. It’s hard to think about binding after surgery but its to contain swelling, so don’t cheat your recovery.
  • For your nipple care, you will be given Adaptic (non-adhering dressing) that is meant to keep your nips moist. you will apply some vasoline to the Adaptic. Then you cover that with a gauze pad and medical tape or fabric tape. (All things you can find in the first aid aisle at the store. The nurses will give you some to get started.) You will do this until you run out of the Adaptic they give you. Which should be about a month to 6 weeks.
  • The tapes on your incisions will fall off on their own. Don’t pull them off. They should all fall off on their own around 4 weeks to 6 weeks.
  • After they fall off you will place provided silicone strips for your scars for a while.
  • At the time of surgery, I was delivering pizzas for a living. I will admit that I jumped the gun on returning to work too early. I ended up going back after 3 or 4 weeks. When you can go back is determined by what kind of work you can do.
  • At 6 weeks, my left nipple looked to have healed wonderfully. I pulled the last of my visible sutures, as instructed, that day. My right nipple still had a little spot to heal but seemed to be healing just fine.

Random Tips:

  • If you have a hard time taking pills like I do. You can try taking them with apple sauce.
  • Make sure you have Miralax and Fiber. Pooping after surgery is really important because the pain meds will stop you up.
  • Don’t over do it. Sit down and rest. I am the type of person that will do everything but I can not stress how important it is to sit down and rest and not try to be Superman. Watch your range of motion, even if it feels, “just fine”. It will have effects on your healing.
  • Netflix. Netflix. Netflix.
  • I don’t hear this referenced too much but for those of you who play instruments, I play violin among others, I would suggest waiting the entire 6 weeks before playing again. 

The nurses will honestly give you everything that you need for recovery. There is no need to worry about recovery supplies. They really give you everything. Make sure you read all of the paperwork they give you in terms of pre op and post op. I did have surgery in Feb of 2016 so things make have slightly changed. This is also MY experience and MY experience alone. My health is different than yours so please listen to the nurses and doctors. I shared my experience to help others have an idea on what to roughly expect.

If you have any questions, feel free to message me or send me asks!

It is the season of the goose.

There is a goose couple that have built a nest on the corner of our building. The mother sits on the eggs all day while the father keeps watch. 

This consists mainly of him catching his reflection in the windows of our building and honking threats at the ‘other goose’ while leaving a line of goose poop on our sidewalk. 

Let me explain something for those of you unfamiliar with geese. 

Geese do not understand fear. 

Walk up to a goose, I fucking dare you. 

You: an animal twice it’s size and easily four times it’s weight on a low-carb day. Walk yourself right up to that honker and see what he does. 

An adult goose will attack your car before he lets you get within four yards of his nest and will go out of his way to attack OTHER GEESE from ACROSS THE PARKING LOT. 

They give you a warning hiss and then they will try their best to kill you. Not a joke. Will try. 

And last year, we had to discourage people from taking selfies with the geese in the parking lot.

Geese are short-tempered battle tanks and humans are hardly even capable of surviving as a domestic species. 

Geese don’t give a fuck. 

That Special Time of the Month

Originally posted by antisepticdark

Summary: Fem!Reader wakes up to find that her period came during the night and now she has to deal with the guys being annoying at the office… Well mainly just Mark. Hope you guys like!

A/N: Hello! I wrote a fic, and trust me its not very good and it’s waaay longer than it needs to be. Be gentle, I’m new to the whole posting my writing thing. Also! I speak fluent Spanish so i used some slang in the fic!
“No mames”- Spanish slang/curse for “no way”/“no fucking way”
“Sentida”- Spanish for upset or offended (in this context reader is sad)
Lastly there’s a text conversation in the fic so ‘-’ is Ethan and ‘=‘ is Tyler.

Wordcount: like +2k I’m sorry this is too long bye

Requests are open? This is no good so I don’t know why anyone would be requesting but yeah you can do that if you want. Hope you guys enjoy!

Keep reading

Things Said/Heard on a Trip to New York, Sentence Starter Style
  • “Screw you. Stop talking.”
  • “Three cheers for poop?”
  • “I’m just letting all you motherfuckers know that I will be the last one standing.”
  • “I have been wanting to fight someone all day. Don’t test me.”
  • “This is the worst game of Uno I’ve ever played.”
  • “That’s because you are a loser.”
  • “I will shoot you six ways to shit lane.”
  • “I bet the scientists haven’t tried this yet.”
  • “What barf bag?”
  • “Wait, did you say ‘axes’ or ‘taxes?’”
  • “For once in my life I’ve done nothing wrong.”
  • “There’s a dictatorship in the basement.”
  • “I just get upset when they try to kill me.”
  • “The good news is I got some really good photos of him lying on the concrete in pain.”
  • “I didn’t even know where Mount Sinai Hospital was before yesterday, and now I’ve been to two of them.”
  • “Oh. So that’s what an appendix looks like.”
  • “Everyone needs a surgeon. I’m yours now.”
  • “I puked in Central Park and all I got was this lousy scar.”
  • “What are you fucking doing? Excuse my French.”
  • “Me, I just suck the tears right back into my skull, because I’m metal.”
  • “You just don’t want to check the mortality rates.”
  • “This seems a little bit illegal, but ok.”
  • “You don’t give your infant a live squirrel. That’s just not something that you do.”
  • “I feel like my body is sobbing for a vegetable right now.”
  • “Paul Revere banged metal for a living and was essentially useless.”
  • “I mean, you can spend 14 hours in a car, but you’ll only be sane for the first 12 or so.”
  • “Shh. I want to hear how my plant sounds.”
  • “See, that’s what I’m talking about with the insanity.”
  • “It’s just like they say: Time flies when you’re unconscious.”
  • “I don’t want to spend the last minutes of my life listening to Rush.”
  • “The world is my porkchop. I shall not want.”

I know the original ‘bat cave’ was… you know….. a cave where literal bats lived, but I bet a lot of them left with the construction of the computers and the artificial lights, especially because most of the commotion would be at dawn and dusk, when the bats were heading out or trying to come back to rest.

BUT I’m sure there are some bats that give exactly zero shits, and live in the cave anyway (the unshakeable Alfred-like bats).

But like…bats poop?! So Bruce and Alfred, in the really early days, must have made a breathable tarp that hangs a respectable distance from the ceiling to catch the poop so it doesn’t land on a) million dollar prototypes b) evidence, or, the most valuable of all c) Alfred’s cookies.

Every now and then the tarp has to be taken down so it can be replaced, but it is 100% IMPOSSIBLE to remove the tarp without getting bat poop ALL OVER yourself.

What I’m saying is that at one point every single Robin and Batgirl has committed an offence that got them on bat-shit duty

(It’s almost as as bad as being grounded from patrol)


criptictangerine  asked:

I FOUND THAT BUG IN A RIVER LAST SUMMER! I ALWAYS WONDERED WHAT IT WAS THANK YOU! it had a shell made out of little pebbles it was so amazing. These bugs are amazing!!!!

Yeah! I found a few in the frog pond the other day, but all their cases were made out of mud and rotting weeds and just looked like little poops. Almost makes me want to catch some and dump little pieces of sea glass into a tank for them.

smowkie  asked:

Hi again. Sorry to bother with another question when you haven't even had the chance to answer my first one, but this bothers me a lot and I will write about it in the future so I want to be able to make it right. If a person is unconscious for say 3 days, reason not relevant (magic, post apoc with no medical personell available etc), and they're not at a hospital with catheters and stuff, what happens with the body waste? Like, will they pee themselves? Poop? Thank you for an amazing blog! ♥

Content Warning: This is messy, gross, stinky, shitty, and describes very graphic and uncomfortable things happening to people, including animal predation.

Some are theoretical. Some are things I’ve seen.

So here’s an unfortunate, uncomfortable truth. Anyone who is unconscious for more than a few hours will, indeed, void their bladder onto themselves. And when the time comes to poop, they will, in fact, poop. These things happen even when someone is conscious but unable to move, whether that’s from physical confinement or from orthopedic issue.

And they’ll stay there. The ugly truth is that we find people in this state all the time. They reek of the acrid urine smell of piss, the foul, feculent stench of shit.

If they’re exposed–specifically outdoors–that waste will draw bugs. Flies, dung beetles, ants, whatever’s around that could find a tasty snack.

Rodents also aren’t out of the question. Lots of things find flesh tasty, and an undefended human might get nibbles from rats, mice, various birds – carrion birds aren’t out of the question. Raccoons and squirrels may not be above predation of an unconscious human, not to mention wolves, wild dogs, and any other carnivores you can think of. Eyes are juicy targets, especially for birds.

Another effect you’ll have to consider is hydration. A character who’s unconscious cannot drink, and probably shouldn’t have anything put in their mouth (if we don’t know about their ability to swallow – it depends on the level of unconsciousness, if that makes any sense). Three days won’t be lethally dehydrating, but it’s probably pretty nasty for the person when they wake up.

Assuming they still have their eyeballs, because, well, see above.

I hope this gave you something to think about!

xoxo, Aunt Scripty


In Denmark, there is this one most important celebration in a year. It is not even New Years. Please, it is not even your birthday. It is Queen´s of Denmark birthday and OW DEAR this year it is at the same day as Easter! So let´s just make it clear what is the priority here, everyone go to Aarhus, where the celebration is held this year. Aarhusians almost pooped into their pants from happiness (for real and we are not even ashamed of that). Happy birthday Queen Margrethe of Denmark!

well poop. i’ve been going through a crappy situation for the past few days, and honestly, it’s draining me. i hate it. it’s blocking me from doing the things i want to do. i don’t think i can conquer it completely rn, but what i can do is prevent it from living my life!!! so here is my guide 2 how i am gna do dis:

simple things

  • i’m kind of at that point where i don’t wna do anything bc i am just so down but this is sO dumb literally 0/10 would recommend
  • take a shower!! it is so calming and metaphorical like u rinse dirt off ur body n u rinse dirt off ur mind yk
  • get out of ur bed
  • make sure ur body is in tip top physical shape aka
    • eat
    • drink
    • make sure ur temp is right (esp bc summer!!! my lord it is hot)
  • stop playing dat sad music i recommend music that u looOooOoOove (4 me it is kpop idk sm of it is trash ik but like it just gets me feeling pumped~~)
  • pls get out of ur bed. ik it is warm. ik it is comfy. ik u feel invincible there. ik u say to urself that u can get out of bed later. bc u could. but just get out and then stay out of it just to prove to me that u can, ok. bc if u stay there 2 long u do nothing and nothing happens

cheering up

  • do something u RLLY like n that makes u smile a lot. 4 me this is reading chick lit like holy crap sophie kinsella gives me warm n fuzzy feels (i rec all her books bc they r just warm fuzzies ok)
  • (if ur crappy situation is a RL situation that u need 2 fix): ignore it for a bit. just a bit. idk how long is good for u. but u need to cool down, get ur spirits back up b4 u can deal w/it properly, ok? ok.
  • go 4 a walk. i find that even if ur in a crappy mood at the beginning of a walk being in nature can help. i mean smtimes i get super annoyed bc mosquitos bugs heat whtvr but yk just get sm fresh air
  • hey do smthing productive!! ik it is summer n no schoolwork but maybe u have sm schoolwork n just take a tiny step towards doing it or update ur resume or do smthing productive it can distract u + make u feel accomplished = win win 

actually fixing ur crappy situation

  • b sure that u r calm now and u can think things through logically and reasonably
  • ok. brainstorm possible solutions. write down what u r willing 2 compromise on, and what u r not, aka rule out sm solutions
  • find a solution, now do it!
  • important: rlly forgive. rlly move on. don’t slap band aid. if u r in crappy mood, U r the loser!!! u want to win. u want to go on w/ur life bc u r a star.
  • do not be mean. u hv right 2 feel crappy!!! but find strength in urself 2 forgive, 2 be generous, 2 be kind. 
  • later on reflect on what u hv learned in a lil journal or talking to a friend or smthing :) :) :)

lil reminder things (seem contradictory; r not)

  • taking the time to mope n b sad n dwell on it is beneficial bc u need that time to accept n move on BUT my friend u cannot linger 4 too long bc then it starts eating u
  • smtimes u need sm time to sort of mull a crappy situation over in ur mind and get on w/ur life b4 u do anything abt it just to hv that distance so u can b more calm n logical
  • u can bounce back frm ANYTHING literally u r such a star i know things r hard 4 u rn but u can do it my lil star
  • i am a rlly low-energy lazy person n my trick 4 forcing myself to do things smtimes is i imagine i am pikachu like in the anime abt to do a thundershock and i imagine myself getting all this energy and abt to go pikaaCHUUUUU and then i make myself do it it’s like my pep talk ya
  • ily ur a star
  • my inbox is always open for ranting help and pep talks
  • <3 kai