what a dumbie

Number 1 Fan

Request: Can you do one where the reader is the number one crime boss/villain and Jerome admires her so much that he follows them around until he gets caught. Maybe they become partners, he gets jealous and stuff, and it has a pretty happy ending.

Smut warning

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(Y/n) POV:

“Move it into the van boys! Don’t leave a dime!” I laugh as my henchmen load the bags of money. “Ohh this is gonna make me the richest woman on the planet!” I say joyfully spinning around.

“Hey boss! We got company! We got to hurry up!” I turn my attention to the banks to see them being scoped up and down by the GCPD. “I’ve got this boys. Just get the bags in there and don’t leave me like last time. If that’s done then you’ll all be dead! Understand?” “Yes ma'am!” They yell in attention.

I smile and stroll into the bank making my presence know to the cops. “Hello hello hello! How ya doing boys? Good I hope! Harvey! How’s the drinking problem? John! The kids doing good? Mollys rash ever clear up? That thing was nasty! Ah and Jimbo! How’s the air in your big fat head? Still clean I hope!” I giggle walking along the counter tops making fun.

I walk to the indoor flag pole and look up to see the open sky light. “Enough of your chit chat!” “Aww! But I was getting to the good part! Ya see. My self esteem has been kinda low lately. So I was wondering if I could show you guys a magic trick. You know the saying what goes up must always come down? Well how about what is down must go up? Any takers? No? Well fine I guess I’ll test it!” I kick the latch of the pole ties and it flings me up into the air to where I’m flying out of the sky light. “See ya around dumbass’!” I laugh as I exit through the roof.

I hop onto the top of the van and hit it twice. “Go you idiots!” They drive at 90 mph to my place and as soon as we get there they start unloading the bags into the room matching the others.

“Drink m’lady?” My butler asks as I enter the door. I smile at him and take the blue drink. “Thank you David. Any news for today?” I ask as I go to the living room. “Crime rates are as high as ever thanks to you miss. Fan basis is at it’s highest. Little girls are wanting to buy anything related to you!” I smile and look out the big window to Gotham. “Wonderful! Get Samantha for me will you?” “Yes miss.”

In seconds my maid comes running in. “Yes miss?” “Care to run me a bath? Crystals, and lavender soap as always.” I say sipping my drink. “Yes of course m’lady.” She bows to me and scurried off to the bathroom.

“Your bath is drawn m’lady.” I wave my hand away and make my way up to the large scale bathroom. The tub itself can fit 4. I strip myself of my clothes and sink into the relaxing water filled with soap and moisturizers.

My personal line begins to ring bringing my attention away from my thoughts. “Hello?” I ask into the old fashioned telephone. “Darling! It’s so good to hear your voice!” “Mom. Hey how are you?” I ask with a smile on my face. “Oh just find. Yourself?” “Just fine.” My mother scoffs into the phone. “What?” “Just fine? Come on darling! No drama? Men? Nothing?” “Mom. We’ve discussed this. I’m far to busy with business.” “Oh don’t play that game! A beautiful 17 year old woman like you is a the top of the world right now! You can have some fun!” “Business is fun.” “But doing business alone isn’t. Don’t you want to share that with someone?”

I sigh into the phone and sink further into the water. “Fine. Yes it’d be nice to have someone along, but I’ve tried the whole partner thing. It didn’t work! He was to slow! Couldn’t keep up. I need someone exciting! Someone to make me laugh, but still keep success rates at high!”

My mother laughs into the phone. “You sound so much like your father. Do me a favor darling. Put on a sexy dress, go to a club, and meet a man. Plenty will show if they hear the most feared woman in Gotham is coming. They’ll be trying to impress you left and right! Promise me you’ll give it a shot?” I sigh and smile. “Yes mother.” “Good baby! Call me tomorrow love! Goodnight!” “Goodnight mom.”

I hang up the phone and ring the bell for Samantha to enter. “Yes m’lady?” “Lay out a dress along with pumps, call a driver, and make sure the owner of Flaims knows I’m coming to have a fun night.” “Fantastic choice! I’ll be right on it!”

I step out of the tub and wrap a towel around myself drying my body. I walk into my room to see my favorite dress set out. “Oh Samantha how you read me well.” I drop the towel and get into my makeup and hair. A nice clean sexy eye with a simple puff to my lush (h/c) hair ties it all together.

I walk down to the door and David opens it for me. “Shall I stay awake to let you in?” “You know what? No. Have the rest of the night off! You too Samantha! I’ll see you both here tomorrow morning!” “Of course! Shall I make breakfast for two?” David says with a smirk. “We shall see.” I say skipping out and into the car.

I arrive at the club to see the best types of people there. The crazy ones. I step out of the car and immediately get howled at. “Hey baby! Wanna test me out? I can make a good girl into a bad bitch!” I roll my eyes and continue my way inside.

I see many cute men scattered about but non that immediately catch my eye. I’m not going to work for them. They’re going to come to me. That’s what mom always taught me.


I order my favorite drink and scroll through my phone enjoying the night out. “Well well well. Lookie here! Never thought I’d see you in the flesh.” I removed my eyes from my screen to see a well known criminal. “Do my eyes deceive me or is it Jerome Valeska?”

The red head leans up against the booth with a stretched out smile. “So you’ve heard of me?” “Well a new rising villain appears and we all want to know more. Have to keep tabs on you. Been out of the limelight for a while now.” “Well ya know. Been dead for about a year. No big deal.” I laugh and scoot for him to join me.

He can make me laugh

We talk for hours, laugh for hours, he had me smiling for hours.

“I’ve got to say. I’m a big fan. My favorite crime scene is when you hung your victim from the center of the hotel. Burnt fingerprints and face! DNA unrecognizable! Never figured out who the victim was.” I place my hand over my head. “Aww Jerome! That’s so sweet! No one’s ever kept up with a case like that before! Well except for those cops. Care to know who it was?” He leans in dazzled. “A bartender who got my drink wrong.” I shrug. “Fantastic! It’s all just fun and games anyway! If they don’t play by the rules they shouldn’t have been in the game to begin with!” “Exactly!”

I laugh and look at the time. “Past your bedtime princess?” I smirk at him and lean into him feeling the full effects of the alcohol take over. “No. Usually it’s time for someone to help me wake up. If you understand what I mean.” I smirk and toy with his fingers.

“Ohh any choices yet? Will I have to fight my way through them to get my shot?” I move my fingers to his shirt and pop one of the buttons open. “I think you have a pretty good shot already.” I smirk and stand up walking and swishing my hips for his pleasure. “Then what are we waiting for hm?” He growls in my ear biting it lightly.

Jerome opens my door for me and lets me in. My driver says no words but does raise the black window for some privacy.

I bring my lips to his in a rush for lust and passion. “Oh you’re bad.” He breathes and run his hand down my body to between my legs. “Make me worse.” I moan into his lips.

Jerome pushes my panties to the side and pushes one finger inside my pussy swerling my insides to make my body rock. “Someone’s wet babydoll. Care to tell me who that’s for?” Jerome asks adding another finger and pushing them in and out. “You’ve got to earn me screaming your name. Do that and you can do whatever you want.” I moan as he pumps his fingers faster.

I toss my head back moaning out. Jerome then attaches his lips to my neck sucking a visible mark. “Marking what’s mine.” I laugh and straddle him. “You’ve got to take it first.” I say out of breath.

The car stops and the driver lowers the black window. “We have arrived m’lady.” Jerome smiles and opens the door for me grabbing my ass as I get out. “Hm about time.” He says gripping my body in lust.

We quickly open the door and waste no time rushing to the bedroom. Jerome closes the door with me against it and strips me of my dress. “Oh a true beauty below the soft cloth you are!” He moans. I strip him of his shirt and pants and he attacks my lips the moment we’re both rid of clothing.

He lifts me against the door and rubs the tip of his cock up and down my slit coating himself with my juices.

He pushes in making my head hit the door in pleasure. “You’re so tight doll.” Jerome thrusts up into me causing me so much pleasure. He moved us to the bed and flips me over to my stomach.

He pushes himself back into my tight cunt and pounds me harder. “What’s my name doll? Scream it! Who’s filling your tight pussy?” Jerome grips my hair in a ponytail and pulls it back making my mouth open and loud moans to come out. “Jerome! Oh my god!” I scream and cum without warning. “That’s it baby!” He says and fills me up. He pulls out of me and rubs his hands up my back to my shoulders.

Jerome sets me on the bed and covers me up along with himself beside me. He brings me to his chest and kisses my head. “I have a proposal.” I say looking at him. “Hm I know I’m great but we just met doll face.” “Oh hush you big dumby! What I mean is be my partner in crime!” “King and Queen of Gotham.” He smirks at the thought rolling through his mind. “Seal the deal with a kiss.” I say with bright eyes. “Gladly baby.” He kisses me and kisses down my neck to make another mark. “Mine. My queen.”

Originally posted by sensualkisses

Sleeping Beauty


Sometimes, Lance swore he knew Pidge better than herself. She’d laugh whenever he brought that up, but look who’s laughing now.

Clearly not her, for she dozed off to sleep, her head resting on the keyboard like a pillow.

Lance snickered at the sight. “I told you,” Even though she was fast asleep, he repeated it aloud just in case she could hear him. “What did I tell you, dumby?” The closest he got to a reply was soft snoring.

But that would do for now.

“Alrighty, time to get you to bed.”

Making sure to not wake her, he gently slipped her onto his back. Even though a part of him would like to, just so he can tease her about his little victory, she needed sleep. All week, Pidge had been staying up longer than usual. Though that didn’t bother her in the slightest, it did to Lance.

Already, she’d barely get a few hours to rest before the next day arrived. The dark circles under her eyes proved that. However, whenever Lance encouraged her to get some rest, she’d shrug it off like it was no biggy.

And because of all that lack of sleep, her body finally forced itself into lockdown.


Pidge should’ve listened to him.

With her tightly on his back, he walked over to her bed. Luckily, the computer was in her room as well, giving him little distance to walk. And little time apart from the soft mattress she deserved.

It didn’t take long for Lance to get her there, slipping her off. The bed looked like a giant when compared to her little body. Lance always knew she was small, but not this much.

He had to cover his mouth to silence himself, the laughter already escaping.

“Goodnight, sleeping beauty.”  

Too Hot To Handle

Word Count: 4.3k 

Genre: smut  

Warnings: Grinding/frottage, rimming. 

Summary: Dan was sleeping on the couch and Phil comes in when he was having a wet dream. Later Phil finds out what the dream was about, and helps make it a reality for Dan.

Link for Ao3 ( x )

A/N: My first fanfic!? WOo! i hope you guys like it! (oh tell me if you find any grammar mistakes so i can fix them thank you!) Enjoy :)

Keep reading

[All Fired Up]

Series: Fairy Tail.
Pairing: NaLu.
Spoilers: CH. 478.
Rated: T for light sexual themes.

A/N: I couldn’t help but laugh at Natsu’s reaction to Lucy’s clothes fading away in the recent chapter and it made me wonder how things would be in the future, should they enter a physical relationship. Anyway, this little oneshot is based a couple of years in the future and is 1000000% inspired by that moment. Hahaha.

“Idiot! Idiot! Idiot!”

Natsu dodged an incoming barrage of pillows, finding shelter behind the seat at Lucy’s desk. One fist on her hip, the other in the air, Lucy was the picture of fury. She glared at him now like a woman possessed by wrath itself. His eyes skimmed over her smooth skin, up her long legs, over the curve of her hips, the lace of her panties, and then, finally, up and over the matching bra she wore. Her face burned with rage.  It was easy to tell, in her exposed state, that she was shaking. 

“What did I do?!” he yelled, spinning the chair so the back could deflect her second onslaught of pillows – the same pillows she’d thrown moments before.

Heaving a sigh, Lucy sat on their bed and laced her fingers together on her lap. She looked to have calmed enough that her shoulders had relaxed, but Natsu wasn’t quite convinced. She still looked hurt – and furiously so. He could always tell when she was suffering, be it a small problem or a large one. It wasn’t that he didn’t want to help Lucy, of course he did. Rather, sometimes, she was just too difficult to understand. She’d answer his question with another, making it near impossible to find the source of her problems. 

Leaving his chosen base of operation – and emergency defence – Natsu approached the bed in small, daring steps. She watched him come in silence, her eyes bitten by an impending stream of tears. She wiped one away when he reached her, clearly irritated with herself and with him. He stood before her now with an expression of calm understanding.

“Stupid Natsu,” she sniffed. “How could you?”

Natsu bent to place his hands on her shoulders. “What’s wrong, Lucy?”

She scowled at him. “What’s wrong?”

“What did I do?”

“’Aren’t you cold?’” she quoted back to him, the words he’d said moments after finding her sitting on the bed in her underwear. “Just what kind of response is that?”

“Huh? But you had goose–”

“Stupid Natsu,” she snapped. “You should offer to warm me up or, I don’t know, something. I took the time to be, to be sexy, and alluring, and you just… I chose this underwear just for you and all you had to say was that. You’re not supposed to be used to this. You’re supposed to… I don’t know… not that.”

A rush of understanding hit him like a tidal wave. “Lucy…”

“Anybody else would have… Why do you not… You’re such a–”

Natsu interrupted Lucy’s potential tangent with a kiss – not to silence her sorrows or to prevent an argument – but to prove that he understood, truly understood, what it was she wanted from him. 

If only she knew just how much she affected him. Whether he was stealing a glance at her face in battle or holding her while she slept, Lucy Heartfilia was Lucy Heartfilia and that meant more to him than she could ever truly understand. Natsu had never thought to vocalise his attraction to her because, well, to him, it was obvious. Overwhelmingly so. Lucy was beautiful and strong and smart. She was inspiring and kind and devoted. She was Lucy. His Lucy. He couldn’t recall Fairy Tail without her.

He couldn’t recall life without her.

She stared up into his eyes, unsure how to respond to their kiss. Natsu found himself smiling. For someone so smart, Lucy sure was stupid. Grinning to himself, Natsu pressed his forehead against hers and squeezed her shoulders.

“You’re always sexy,” he told her. “Just because I’m used to seeing you without clothes on doesn’t mean you don’t get me all fired up.”

“What are you saying, Dumby?”

“I’m saying,” he lowered his voice to a whisper and leaned in to press a kiss on her neck, “that I always find you alluring.”

She let out a heavy breath. “It wouldn’t kill you to respond to my efforts once in a while.”

Natsu laughed at that. “I’m responding now, arent I?”

Her face heated. He could hear the sound of her heart racing in her chest. It mimicked the sound of his own. Even now, after all this time, Lucy Heartfilia made him nervous and happy all at the same time.

“So, you like it then?” she asked. “My underwear?”

“I’d like it better as a pile of ash on the floor.”

“Don’t you dare burn–”

She laughed when he kissed her a second time, swallowing up her anger and her displeasure along with it. She was burning in his arms and he was more than ready to breed a flame that would scorch up the entire apartment.

“Get ready Lucy,” he said between kisses, “’cause there’s a fire in my belly that’s waiting to get out.”

So my boyfriend texts me and wakes me up from my nap and says “look on your balcony” so I look and I see nothing. I text him back waiting to see what he’s trying to do, he bought me my favorite candy (skittles) and threw them on someone else’s balcony! He got the wrong house, he threw skittles at some strangers house, someone else has my skittles idk this is the funniest thing