what a cute drunk

2

Sweet like sugar but I’m good for you 🍬😏

Memory Foam - Auston Matthews

Originally posted by hockeyfanatique

Note: This request made me smile with how cute it was, I love the idea of Auston Matthews being a cute, clingy drunk, which is what he’s interpreted as here! Send some requests if you enjoy, loves. I hope it was what you wanted, anon!

Mentions: William Nylander, Mitch Marner

Warnings: Mentions of intoxication, lots of fluff, lots of ass grabbing

Requested: Yes | No

Teaser: “Wow, this bed is so soft.” He mumbled, patting the ‘bed’ and attempting to fluff it, “Auston, baby, that’s my ass.”

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RFA+SV - MC gets a...pic from...some...guy...ok, I don’t know how to title this one.

Ok, to start off:  I am ALWAYS taking funny prompts.  I’m actually a fluff writer, but there’s a lot of crossover between funny and cute.  And it’s therapeutic for me.  I can do the angst thing, but writing happy stuff makes me happy!

Secondly:  so, like is this safe for work?  Not safe for work?  I don’t know!  D8

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2

USA is a big teddy bear that doesn’t like cuddles from drunk old broke people

lucia-ik  asked:

omg drunk keith is so cute. what would happen if keith got drunk for the first time infornt of the kids when they are teen. Somehow I think lance would have blast/could not believe that this is his daddy. And would it escalate if Shiro wasn't there?(Keith doesn't seem to have any impulse control when drunk) btw I love the little knb picture when I go to your askbox it's adorable!

LMAO Yes! Drunk Keith is worse than Shiro tbh. XD 

[The Voltron Family]  Shiro was away to attend one of those conferences for doctors outside of the state and Keith was missing him so bad. It has been 8 days now and Keith didn’t wanna be clingy but sometimes he just missed Shiro’s kisses and cuddles.

The kids were at a party of a friend of theirs and it was only 9pm but Keith drove there anyway to pick them up, despite saying he’d pick them up at 10, they were teens now after all. They earned it after acing all their exams. Keith arrived at the party and he entered frowning. Ugh. Teenagers are too rowdy at parties. Back in my days…crap, I sound like an old man.

He went looking for his three kids when some dude came up to him.

Some Dude: *offers a cup of beer* Whoa. You’re a new pretty face. Might I offer you some beer?
Keith: *glares* I’m a wine type of person and I’m old enough to be your father.
Some Dude: *chuckles* Right. Of course. I’m guessing you’re about 25 or 27 by the looks of it? *gives Keith a once over* *points at the leather jacket* *whistles* Nice.
Keith: *ignores* Where’s Lance, Pidge and Hunk? *looks around*
Some Dude: They’re by the library last time I saw them. 
Keith: Thanks. *leaves*
Some Dude: Hey! I have wine. Can’t have a guest walking around without a drink of their choice. *smiles*
Keith: *stops* Do you have 1947 Cheval Blanc?
Some Dude: *blinks* What? I have no idea what you’re talking about but we could check it out by the bar? *points at the bar* The bartender might know. *eyes Keith* You looked so stressed, man. You okay?
Keith: *sighs* I am the epitome of stress. 
Some Dude: Awww, sorry for hitting on you, man.
Keith: It’s fine.
Some Dude: I’m Leonard. Finals are over but you’re probably the type to stress over results, huh? Forget about it tonight. C’mon, let’s get you a drink. You need it. *places an arm around Keith’s shoulder*
Keith: Oh boy, do I. *rubs temples* 

Lance, Hunk and Pidge were about to leave the house to wait for their Daddy Keith to arrive to pick them up when Pidge spotted something.

Pidge: Oh sweet baby mac and cheese. Is that Dad by the bar?
Hunk and Lance: *turns around and sees Keith*

Keith was drunk and he was ranting and ranting to their poor friend Leonard who had to hear everything. The three teens approached the bar.

Keith: And then he would usually surprise me to a lunch date when he visits me at work. *sobs while taking another drink* Such a wonderful man and now… *hiccups* He’s not even here with me. 
Leonard: Oh damn. You have a bad case of love sickness.
Keith: *nods* I do and I hate the fact he’s out there somewhere miles away and I’m here like a mess. *turns to his side and sees a girl* *cups her face and leans in*
Hunk: Is Dad drunk?! *shocked* He would NEVER do THAT! 
Pidge: Dude, we gotta do something!
Lance: No no, wait, you guys. Let’s see what happens first. *amused* I’ve never seen Daddy Keith drunk—ever.
Girl: *smirks at Keith* Hey, pretty boy.
Keith: *scrunches his nose* Pretty boy. You’re not Shiro. *frowns* He calls me pretty boy when we snuggle at night. *cries* *hugs the girl* I miss him so much. I want to see him. *turns to another person* Do you know where Shiro is? He’s the most beautiful man I’ve ever seen. Have you seen him?
Pidge: Wow. He got drunk because of Daddy Shiro.
Keith: *gets up from his seat* *wobbles as he walks towards the dance floor*
Hunk: Uh, guys, should we do something now?
Keith: *walks randomly to every guy and cups their face to look at them* *shakes head* Nope. Not Shiro. Not you. Too short. Too tall. Too lanky. Not my type. Leave. 
Lance: Are you guys seeing this? *laughs* This is GOLD. 
Hunk: No. This is horrifying! Daddy Keith’s so broken.
Some other random dude: *walks up to Keith dancing* Hey, sexy.
Keith: *glares at him* What are you doing?
Some other random dude: *chuckles* Thought we could have some fun tonight. *touches Keith’s arm*
Keith: *grips the guy’s hand* Don’t. You. Dare. Touch. Me. Only one man can touch me.
Some other random dude: *grins* Shit, that’s hot. I could be that—
Pidge: Dad! *shouts and approaches Keith*
Keith: *turns head* *smiles* Oh, baby girl. I came looking for you and *sees Lance and Hunk* your brothers.
Some other random dude: *looks at the three teens* Hey, I saw him first.
Keith: No, you didn’t. *glares* Shiro saw me first.  
Some other random dude: Who the heck is Shiro? 
Hunk, Lance and Pidge: Our Dad.
Keith: My husband.
Some other random dude: What the shit, dude? You’re married?!
Keith: I am. *teary eyed* And I miss him. I miss my husband. *sobs as he wipes his tears* I… *walks wobbling*
Hunk: I got you, Dad. *catches Keith and embraces him*
Keith: *sobs* I miss Takashi Shirogane. Bring me Takashi Shirogane. I love Takashi Shirogane. *clings to Hunk*

Hunk drove them all back home and they put Keith to bed. The following morning, Pidge handed him the phone. Shiro was on Skype.

Shiro: Hey, sweetheart. Good morning.
Keith: Shiro. *whispers*
Shiro: I heard what happened last night. *frowns*
Keith: Oh my god. *groans* 
Shiro: *chuckles* Hey, I think it’s nice to know you rejected everyone’s advances because they weren’t me.
Keith: *whispers not looking at Shiro* I only want you.
Shiro: *flushes* Keith, you’re not playing fair.
Keith: It’s true though.
Shiro: Why don’t we go out tonight on a date?
Keith: *shocked* *looks up* Tonight?
Shiro: *smiles* Yeah, I’m coming home, pretty boy.

Seeing that pin up picture with a girl, that had the focus on her legs and some dude actually sitting in the plane I couldn’t help myself. 
I know it’s not very Barry like but imagining him showing up there for a second and do this just to mess with Hal, who is getting ready for take off is still funny in my head. But I actually think that Hal loves his legs haha

angel-of-purgatory-1967  asked:

Congrats on 5k. For the drabbles, maybe a cute drunk destiel scene?


“Did you see what I just did, Cas?” Dean chuckles as he holds his beer out, pointing at the bar. “I did, I just… they totally-” He snorts, burying his face into Castiel’s neck and laughing uncontrollably. Castiel’s chuckling as well, knowing exactly what Dean meant even though he didn’t finish his sentence.

“I- I think we should go back to the others,” he says, with only a tiny hint of sobriety in his voice. “They’ll probably think why we’ve been gone so long…” He grins at the idea.

“Oh, we were just slaying some vampires or somethin’ normal like that,” Dean says, still laughing under his breath. They walk over the grass, holding onto each other, trying not to spill beer on their clothes.

They hear the loud singing of Gabriel coming from the circle of friends spread out on the grass, laughter of Benny, soft giggling from the girls. Dean slumps down on the place Cas was sitting earlier and pulls his friend down with him.

“Dean!” Castiel says as his beer spills over his and Dean’s arm. A few of their friends laugh, but they don’t pay much attention to them.  

“Oops,” Dean grins with a failed attempt to dry Castiel’s arm with his soaked sleeve. “Sorry, buddy.”

“…’s fine.” Castiel puts his empty bottle aside and takes Dean’s. “But now you got to share.”

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fangirl-1999  asked:

Hey!! I love the thought of drunk Keith and how cute he is but what about shiro? Did he ever get drunk?

He is a cutie isn’t he? 8′D AND YES. Shiro did.

Shiro and Keith: The Drunk Trilogy

CONCLUSION: They only want each other even when they’re drunk. OTL

8

🎉   Hey, it’s me!   🎉

● Birthday: August 5th
● Gender: agender? male? we just don’t know
● Relationship status: single
● Favorite color(s): Turquoise, black, blue
● Pets: Two siamese cats, Nerissa and Rafael
● Wake up time: Usually around 8-9 am
● Love or lust?: Definitely love
● Favorite food(s): Uh, I love spinach soup and rice pasties
● Met a celebrity?: I don’t think I actually have
● Last song listened to: Choice Millionaire by Poets of the Fall
● First kiss: I was 22. He was cute and we were both drunk. What a story.
● Tall or short: Short, only 163 cm. (around 5′4′‘)

I wasn’t tagged, but I took this from @smokespun​! And if anyone of you want to do this, consider yourself tagged, and tag me back so I can read it!

Drunk call Tony Stark x Reader

Originally posted by duckbuttt

“What the…?” You turned around on the bed when the sound of your phone woke you up. The clock said it was almost 4 in the morning. Looking at the phone you saw it was Tony, what was this? “Tony?” You said when you picked it up.

Tony and you had a huge fight earlier that day. You both had said the wrong things to each other. Everything had started with a stupid comment about one of your exes and it just escalated from there. Before you could know what was going on, he was breaking up with you and leaving the tower, fuming and not saying where he was going.

That was more than five eight hours, now it was late in the morning and you had fallen asleep as you waited for him to come back. But you didn’t expect him to call you over the phone.

“It’s not fair”, he said. You could hear how slurred his voice was.

“Are you drunk?” You asked seating up.

“Not the point”, he mumbled. You couldn’t hear anything in the background so he wasn’t at any bar.

“Tony where are-?” You said already getting out of the bed but he didn’t let you speak.

“It’s not fair. You were the one s-saying that a-about t-that dumbass and I’m the the o-one w-wasted?” He said. Biting your lip you got up and hurried out of the room willing to go and pick him up wherever it was necessary. “Y-you know how much I love you, hon, and I d-didn’t want t-to break up with you.”

“Tony, it’s ok. Just tell me where you are so I can pick you up.” You said trying to sound as calm as you could.

“I-I hate that g-guy. He p-played wi-with y-you.” He said. “And I d-don’t d-deserve you”, he was making no sense at all but he wasn’t even listening to you.

With a sigh you ran down to the lab where Tony had his cars. Before walking in you grabbed one of the keys and the typed the code before walking in. You stopped when you saw Tony leaned against one of the cars with an almost empty bottle of scotch in his hand and the phone against his ear.

You ran towards him and took the bottle from his hand so at least he wouldn’t drink anymore. He looked at you, surprised to find you there and also surprised to be still conscious. He observed you as you threw the bottle away and then took the phone to hang up the phone.

“You love me?” He asked with a tone too serious for someone that drunk.

“Of course I do, Stark”, you sighed not really knowing what to do. You had to take him to the bed but you couldn’t carry him. A drunk smile appeared on his face.

“I love you too.” He said.

After some minutes trying to figure out what to do and ignoring his stupid drunk but cute comments you decided to ask FRIDAY to wake Steve up. He could carry Tony and you didn’t care about the teasing your boyfriend would get in the next few days. He deserved it for being such an idiot. When he finally was in bed and you had apologised to Steve a hundredth times, you were left alone with him.

Steve had also helped you to put him into the shower to sober him up so now he was walking out of the bathroom looking confused and lost.

“Go to bed”, you whispered grabbing his arm softly.

He obeyed, obviously still drunk but not as much as before thanks to the shower, and laid down on the bed so you could cover him up. After putting his clothes on a chair you went back to bed, feeling honestly exhausted.

“(Y/N)…” you looked at him and bit your lip. He looked so weak in there and fragile. Slowly you moved towards him so he could hug you and hid his face in your neck.

Maybe he wanted to tell you something but soon soft snores started coming out from his mouth letting you know that he had fallen completely asleep. You had a hard time going back to sleep so you spent most of the rest of the night just looking at him and stroking his head until he opened his eyes again at noon.

You two spent a great time just looking at each other. After the previous day you didn’t know what to say, it was too awkward and apparently he felt the same way. But finally he kissed one of your hands.

“I love you and…I’m lucky you love because I’m such an idiot asshole. A hot one. But an asshole…” he said. You smiled a little and rubbed his cheek slowly. “Forgive me. Please…” He whispered.

“It’s forgiven. Really.” You said.

He looked at you before leaning in to kiss you but you pulled away quickly.

“You’re not kissing me with that smell until you brush your teeth”, you said. He looked at you surprised before groaning and getting up from the bed to go to the bathroom.

“Damn woman…” he mumbled making you laugh but letting you know you both were back to normal.

Tag: @vashanatasha

elinor. psa that i’m going to get *~WHITE GIRL WASTED~* tonight, so if i post anything that doesn’t make sense, that’s why lmao.