what a bad arse

curodole  asked:

Hi! If you're still doing requests, I would like to dare companions to parody others in the room (Sole included). Thanks!

Thanks for the ask! Hope you enjoy! (and thank you for being a patient and interactive follower 😉 ) ~Lori

Companions are dared to parody others in the room

Cait/Sole: “oh, look at me pickin’ up junk like I’m a foken’ hoarder, while looking at my partners arse. What? Ya need a stimpack? Too foken bad cause i can’t spare any of my 127, heal by yourself! What do ya mean ya don’t like me being mean to that guy? Well fuck you, I like Piper more anyways!”

Codsworth/Ada: “Beep Boob Beep! I am a robot!” (ironic?)

Curie/Dogmeat: She made fake dog ears with her hands and let out a tiny bark-like noise

Danse/Curie: “I was used to be a helpful and useful recourse but now I am an abomination…”

Deacon/Hancock: “Jet for life, 420 blaze it,Of the people for the people all day loongg baby,Faarrr ouuttt man!”

Dogmeat/Strong: He chewed and destroyed a poor lil’ teddy bear on command

Hancock/Preston: “Ohhh yeahhh, help that settlement baby!” *covers crotch* “Holy shit, did you just build a radio beacon?!” *fakes an orgasm*

Macready/Codsworth: He made his best British accent, which happened to be awful; and started mimicking a stereotypical butler, not forgetting to include Codsworth’s complaints about rust and garbage all around.

Nick/ Gage: “I don’t give a damn about people out there, I only care about myself and my gangs…”

Piper/Danse: “Oh no! They entered the power armor! Gahhh! …I jazzed my pants!”

Preston/Maxson: “I can do what is want because I said so! I own the Commonwealth anyways!!” “Whoever gets in my way, I WILL order my followers to kill them while I enjoy my whiskey on my ship!”

Strong/Piper: “STRONG IS NO WEAK LIKE STOOPID WOMAN”

X6-88/Macready: “I have a deadly aim, but an even more deadly breath…. Brush your teeth…”

Maxson/Nick: “I am an abomination, a terrible mistake that aims to ruin humanity… Guess what I am…” *cold look at Nick*

Gage/X6-88: “…I just kill people…for fun! …oh wait… I do that too, shit”

Ada/Cait: With most robotic voice she had, with no emotion, she said “Top o the morning to ya”

Sole/Deacon: “Look at how awesome my hair is, and it is aallll natural … ok so I lied…”

Jegulus - Detention

I wrote this for @dying-for-jegulus.  It’s the first Jegulus story I’ve ever written, and so I’m reeeeeally hoping that you like it.

Regulus walked through the cold sixth floor corridors, shivering slightly into his robes.  He walked cautiously, jumping at the slightest sound echoing off the walls. If Peeves was to find him roaming the corridors this late at night…. 

He heard another sound and pressed himself against the wall, attempting to blend into the shadows but his pale skin made it very difficult.  Footsteps were approaching.  They were only just around the corner now, and he could see the shadow of someone. Please let it be him, please let it be him, he thought desperately, unable to peel his eyes away from the shadow.

When the person behind the shadow turned the corner, Regulus felt himself sigh with relief.  Just the person he wanted to be caught by.  He couldn’t help smiling slightly as he shifted away from the wall and walked away from the head boy, pretending he hadn’t noticed him.

“Hey!  Stop right there!” James called, his voice sounding very stern and head-boyish.  Just how Regulus liked it.  Regulus stopped in his tracks, not turning around.  He tried not to smile - he didn’t want to spoil it, he always spoiled it with his betraying smile.

James walked around him and stopped right in front of him.  His stare was smouldering, and Reg very suddenly didn’t feel cold anymore.

“Stop smiling,” James murmured.

Regulus force the smile off his face.  “Have I done something wrong?”

“It’s a bit late at night for you to be wandering around the corridors, isn’t it Black?” James said slowly, not taking his eyes off Reg.

“I didn’t realise the time, Potter.  I should get going back to my dormitory,” Regulus replied, taking a step back.  James reached out and gripped Reg’s arm, pulling him closer so that they were only inches apart.  Regulus could already feel James’s intoxicating breaths on his face.  Maybe he could spoil it again, and just lean up to kiss him…

“You do realise that you broke the rules, don’t you?” James breathed, tightening his grip around Reg’s arm.

“Oh, did I?” Reg answered, blinking his eyes with false innocence.  “I’m very sorry.”

“Sorry just won’t do it,” James said.  “I have no choice but to put you in detention.  Teach you a lesson.”

Regulus couldn’t help but smile. 

“You’re not supposed to smile, Reg,” James murmured again, smiling slightly himself at Reg’s inability to keep a straight face.

“Sorry,” Reg replied, clearing his throat professionally and getting back into character.  “Oh, detention,” he said quietly.  “But I’m a good student.”

“You’re a very bad student,” James said.  “Time to punish you.”

James smirked at Regulus and pulled him into the nearest classroom, closing the door behind them.

“What are you going to do to me?” Regulus asked.

James smirked once more and pushed Reg up against the wall, pinning his hands above his head.

“Wait,” Reg whispered.  “Don’t forget your invisibility cloak.”

James nodded quickly and pulled his invisibility cloak out of his bag, covering them both.  They used it as a precaution.  Not that anyone ever ventured into empty classrooms on the sixth floor corridor at eleven o’clock at night anyway.

“Happy now?” James asked softly, pressing a kiss to Reg’s forehead.

“Mmhm,” Reg mumbled.  “Yeah.  Now continue.”

“So demanding.”

“James, pin me against this wall and kiss me like this is the last time you will ever see me.”

James let out a low growl and grabbed both of Reg’s arms, pinning them high above his head.  Before Reg even had the chance to say anything else, James’s lips crashed against his own, kissing him fiercely.  Regulus closed his eyes, getting lost in all things James.

He loved this boy with all of his heart.  He loved stolen moments like this.  He loved feeling exhilarated, and when he was with James, he was always exhilarated. 

James let go of Reg’s arms and wrapped his arms around him as he deepened the kiss.  Reg ran his hands through James’s hair, which was messy enough without Reg messing it up some more.  But nevertheless, he loved messing up the Gryffindor’s hair.

James stopped the kiss to regain his breath, and then began trailing kisses down Reg’s jaw and his neck.

“James,” Reg breathed softly into James’s hair.  “I love you.”

He could feel James smiling against him.  “I love you too, Reg,” he murmured.


An hour later and they were both very exhausted and very naked.  They lay together on the floor of the classroom with the invisibility cloak over themselves.

The door opened abruptly, and instinctively Reg pressed himself closer to James.  Oh god, he thought.  This is the time we’re going to get caught.

“Shhhhhh,” he heard someone say, followed by a giggle.

“JAMES POTTER!”

Regulus could recognise that voice anywhere - it was none other than his brother’s voice.  Crap, he thought.

“I know you’re under that invisibility cloak, Prongs.  Your arse is hanging out, and actually it’s not half bad.”

There was a sound of someone getting whacked.  “Sorry Moony.”

“James, who are you naked under there with?  Better be someone good because we planned to use this classroom ourselves!” Sirius continued, receiving what sounded like another whack.

“Shut up, Sirius,” came Remus’s voice.

James shrugged at Reg under the cloak and gave him a ‘shall we just reveal ourselves?’ look.

Regulus was terrified, but at the same time he nodded.

James slowly pulled the cloak off, revealing only their heads and shoulders for Sirius and Remus to see.

“Hey Sirius,” Reg said, trying hard not to laugh at his brother’s expression.  He looked a mixture of shocked, disgusted and embarrassed.

“Nope.  NOPE. NOPE NOPE NOPE.” Sirius said.

“What was that you were saying about my arse being not half bad?” Regulus teased.

“I THOUGHT YOU WERE JAMES!  I DIDN’T REALISE.  I JUST - I’M GOING NOW.  COME ON REMUS.”

Sirius dragged Remus from the room spluttering all sorts of nonsense.  Regulus could hear his name being mentioned and James’s name being mentioned.

James pressed his lips to Reg’s forehead again.  “Well, at least they know now.”

“Yeah.  But I still like this detention thing.  We should do it again.”

“I’m on patrol next Wednesday.”

“I’ll try to misbehave.”

“Mmm,” James murmured.  “You do that.”

What I want though are Overwatch character’s thoughts while they’re fighting. 

Like Tracer during the Alive video: 

“Oh my fucking god of course you’re here.” 

“FUCKING HELL STAIRS.”

“Oh, right, got to let people know that Mondatta is in danger.”

“Is she done shooting? I can’t tell but I kinda don’t want to look because what if she sneaks up on me then I’m triple fucked.” 

“HAH! Wait, where the fuck did you go?” 

“Oh, that’s where you went.” 

“Damn, that’s a nice arse.”

“OH FUCK BAD MOVE BAD MOVE WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS PURPLE SHIT.” 

“Ooh, can’t touch this!” 

“FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK.” 

“Wait, I’m alive?” 

“What the fuck do you mean that the party is over?” 

“OH MY GOD WHY. WHY. HE’S LIKE THE OMNIC GHANDI WHY WOULD YOU KILL HIM WHY?!?!?” 

“It’s going down, bitch.” 

“So I know I’m pissed because you just killed Mondatta but wow your lips look really soft and I kinda want to touch them/kiss you and you look really hot under me but we’re enemies and I think you’re straight?” 

“Wait, why did you just call me a cherry OW FUCK MY SKULL THIS HURTS LIKE A BITCH.” 

“Okay you may have won this round but in my defense your lips are like 💯💯💯 and you can’t expect me to focus when I really want to kiss you.”