@scarsworld2 … Stay true to those who were there when you didn’t have a dime , or a pocket to put one in for that matter … My Brodie working crazy , I’m working crazy , JUST KNOW WHEN WE WORK TOGETHER IT’S CRAZY…. Who wants new music from scar and vino ? I need ig to talk to me I talk back … #scarAndVino #buckwild #westV #weComing 💯
I have an interview at ASMPH today and I feel very nervous. There’s a lot to be thankful for, I know that, but i cant help thinking of the hindrances before i got here.. I cant help but think “are these signs from the Lord where he wrecks my plans before my plans cd wreck me?”
Or im just really nervous about this. I really hope i wont mess this up.. I should stop thinking about everything else for a moment and just FOCUS. Im actually at my favorite coffee shop trying to calm down. I pushed the kalmado look in fromt of my aunt, uncle and my boyfriend. But my mind is absolutely in chaos right now.
So much is going on in my mind namely:
- my ticket to get here is so expensive.
- mom half heartedly wished me goodluck. I dont know if its because of her hormones, her preference for WestV over Ateneo, the expenses or other reasons and it really upsets me because i usually to turn to my mom for making big decisions and this time, im not sure if her preference is much to my liking.. she’s been weird the day before i went here. Maybe the reason is unrelated to Ateneo but Only God knows..
- It was a struggle to get to my tita’s house. And they weren’t really the welcoming bunch.. I stayed at the mall until 9pm to wait for the love of my life because he promised to accompany me home but it turned out that the transportation there is very difficult. He stayed with me and spent the night there.. Which is not part of the plan. I felt really guilty that he has to suffer that with me. Im really thankful, but at the same time guilty. I now realized that he love me trully.
- their remarks about me, about my stay is not really that kind at all. It was half joking But everybody knows jokes are half meant. I have to not take it personal… but you know, i get offended too. I actually just want to cry but i dont have time for that.
- i have to stay with them til Monday becasue Kaebe cant hang out on sunday.. I set my flight to Monday because i thought we cd be together for a day tomorrow. But I guess i should not be stubborn. ai have to understand he’s trying too.
- im torn between Ateneo and WestV. Even though im not yet sure if they’d accept me.
I want to let it out first, self awareness, me time before i go for the interview. It’s a one time chance. I thought i couldnt get in because they have a cutoff. they just reconsidered me because i wrote a letter. I know God’s plans are better than mine. I just have to give it my best too, show Him im cooperative and willing to work with Him. I knwo His plans are better than mine. I should just lift all of these burden up to Him. Im letting this all go and just FOCUS. I cant even write properly im sure when i read this again my eyes will bleed from the wrong grammar and sentence construction.
Here you go Lord, it’s all You now. Just work in me.