Date a boy who
1. Has eyes like the sea after a storm
2. Has a snarky sense of humour
3. Wears a black mask
4. Will come back from the dead
5. Is called Westley
6. Date Westley from the Princess Bride that’s what I’m saying
Once upon a time, a ten year old girl named Paige went to her best friend’s birthday slumber party. “Let’s watch The Princess Bride!” squealed the girls. “Westley is my favorite!” Paige did not like this and searched the room for dissent. There wasn’t any. “But I don’t like The Princess Bride,” grumbled Paige. “The romance is cheesy, I don’t like Westley, that kind of stuff isn’t real, I just don’t get it.” The room fell silent. “But you must not have seen it enough,” pacified the birthday girl. “We’ll watch it now!” Paige kept her mouth shut and sat through the movie. Her heart of stone went untouched.
Over a decade later, Paige watched BBC Sherlock. She immediately fell in love with the characters but didn’t know why. “Sherlock is my favorite!” she’d squeal to her friends. “I don’t see the appeal” her friends would say. “That’s because you haven’t seen it enough,” Paige would pacify. “We’ll watch it now!”
Little did she know the writers of Sherlock cite The Princess Bride as one of their favorite stories of all time, a great influence on their writing careers, and that every romantic trope from the movie is in Sherlock, too. Little did she know the stories are almost exactly the same.
And that, dear children, is when Paige realized she was a homosexual.