Fluster - Wesanny
“…Do you remember the last time we sat here together?”
“ Of course I do.”
Wes smiled sadly, tossing the last of his roll to the birds. Windsor, Hanover, Stuart or Day, it didn’t matter where you lived during finals week at Dalton, the entire place was a graveyard. Wes and Danny found themselves in the rare situation of being the first two boys to finish with their exams. Save for a handful of others, the entire school would still be clammed up inside studying away the glorious summery afternoon.
They were in no rush to get anywhere, walking leisurely from one end of campus to another after picking up some lunch. They had stopped here naturally, not meaning to out of any sense of obligation to the past. It was only after a bit of lighthearted reminiscing (“Of course I remember the sofa fiasco! We were sweeping up feathers for days after that!”) did Wes realize that this was the same bench that Danny had stormed off to, that day Wes saw the scars that crisscrossed his forearms. A strangely comfortable silence settled between them, their shoulders casually touching. Both stared out over the gardens, looking serenely over the buildings and grounds, the monument under construction to commiserate what was lost in the wreckage of the old art hall.
“You saved my life, you know.” Danny said softly.
Wes chuckled dryly.
“Come on Danny-”
“You would have realized it soon enough. If it wasn’t me, it would have been someone else. You would have realized it, you know.”
“How much your life is worth living.”
Wes looked down at Danny, who had naturally moved to return the gaze.
Danny was the first one to move. It was his eyes that slipped shut, his head tilted back just so. The air was so warm and pleasant after all, he could have just been dozing off. But when he felt the bridge of Wes’ nose brush against his, it was his lips that sought them out.
It was innocent. Mouths closed. Wes kissed Danny’s lower lip, the Hanover pressing up against him.
Danny couldn’t remember how he got back to his room. He imagined he was in a sort of shell-shocked daze. By the time he was back in Hanover however, a mix of self-doubt and anxiety had successfully rewritten the entire incident in his mind.
He had kissed Wes.
Forced himself on him, even.
Overcome by a fit of
The next thing he knew he was screaming into his pillow, teeming with guilt. Wes. His friend. How stupid could he be? How could he face him again?
Wes on the other had was a bit less phased. After all, he had no problem with the idea of kissing boys, especially with cute ones that he had feelings for which could probably be described as mildly “warm and fuzzy.”
When he returned to Windsor, he breezed listlessly through the library, humming to himself a bit as he poured over the possibility of kissing a boy for the first time. He had to admit, it did make him feel a little giddy, a tiny thrill of adventure. Suddenly Tabitha felt like a creature that existed in his life ages ago. However, any of his anxiety was forgotten at a quarter past four when the rest of Windsor house charged inside, seizing the building for a rancorous end-of-finals fiesta involving a nerf/lightsaber war, some treacherous antics with zorb balls, and a game of capture the flag with Stuart House which ended with four am hostage negotiation between Logan and Charlie over the apprehended Julian and Kurt.
Really, Wes only remembered almost a day later. Wanting some closure before heading off home for the summer, he wandered over to Hanover house to make certain Danny hadn’t left just yet.
Wes caught him hauling two large Vera Bradley suitcases out to the curb. He looked up like a deer in headlights, his eyes going wide and flitting about to find a graceful means of escape.
“Hey! Need any help?”
“Actually, I was just going, um… these aren’t mine!” He gestured to the absurdly bright flowered suitcases.
“Merril’s? I figured.” Wes tried smiling again, ruffling Danny’s hair in the way that always relaxed him when they had been roommates. This time though, it only made him tense and shy away, as if he was expecting to be hit.
“Yeah… Helping her out.” Danny mumbled, looking away from him.
“Hey, are you alright?” Wes sat down on one of the suitcases, looking up at him. Danny shuffled about, rubbing the back of his neck.
“We kissed.” He said, as if that should have explained everything.
“Did you not like it?” Wes blinked up at him. He was slowly starting to realize that this was a bigger deal for Danny than it had been for him.
“No? I mean,” Danny was starting to panic a little. He ran his hands through his hair with agitation, forcing a large sigh. “I didn’t think… my first kiss would be-”
“Your first?” Wes balked, only just now realizing what this meant. Danny’s face colored a spectacular shade of crimson.
“Look, just forget about it okay?”
“No, come on Danny this is important.” Wes grabbed Danny’s wrists before he could pull away. Danny’s eyes were locked on Wes’ feet, his cheeks burning with shame. He realized now that while he had spent all night awake in a fit of nerves, it hadn’t phased Wes one bit. Of course not, Wes had more girls than he knew what to do with. He always had.
Before he could stew any further in his misery however, he was seized once again, Wes pressing his lips firmly against Danny’s own. It only lasted a moment however before he pulled away with a cry.
“Wes, stop it! I-ngfh!”
He was thrust up against a nearby tree, Wes gripping Danny’s hair gently. He took one more kiss, sweet and brief and insistent.
“No. I like kissing you.” He breathed against Danny’s lips. He needed to try again after all, to see and be certain. Now he was. “You taste like cherries.” He laughed.
“You can’t… I’m not a toy.” Danny simpered, trying to curl back against the tree. Wes could feel how his heart was pounding.
“No, you’re not. I’m not a very good boyfriend either.” Wes apologized. “I forget important dates sometimes, and I have a hard time understanding how people feel.” He smirked, thrilled that Danny was watching him again. At least now he had been stunned into a sort of shocked compliance.
“Visit my house this summer.” Wes pressed. “We’ve been meaning to do that for the last two years after all.”
“Yeah, but Wes. You don’t really…”
“Why not?” Wes laughed. His nose crinkled as he did so, brushing it against Danny’s nose. Yes, this felt right. Maybe they weren’t soul-mates, but it was thrilling. What’s more, it felt like something that Wes ought to do. He knew Danny. He knew how to love him.
He knew how to keep him from being hurt.
And all at once it clicked. He wanted to be the one who had him, who held him for the first time.
By the way Danny’s deep red flush had turned to a gentle tinge of pink, by the way he had relaxed, his eyes now subtly following Wes’ lips… He had a feeling that Danny liked the idea too.