were so many dumb faces made in such a short time

if you’re struggling for AU ideas take a look-see at this list i wrote for my friend who dubbed it “better than the 10 commandments" 

1)     Coffee shop AU

i)       Barista and person who has a ridiculous coffee order

ii)      I’m worried about your coffee dependency

iii)     you accidentally poured boiling hot coffee over me so you’re responsible for taking me to A&E

iv)     you give me a different fake name every time you come into starbucks and I just want to know your real name bc ur cute but here I am scrawling “batman” onto your stupid cappuccino

2)      Flower shop AU

i)       You buy a weird amount of flowers and I’m concerned as to why

ii)      I’m allergic to flowers but I work in a flower shop – you’re a customer who’s very confused as to why I’d do that

iii)     (this is also a good way to incorporate flower meanings eg, buying certain colours/types for person to represent feelings etc.)

3)      Library AU

i)       You’re overdue on this book and I want it so I’m tracking u the fuck down

ii)      I work in the library and I’m a little concerned for your health bc you never stop studying

iii)     The library’s pretty empty save for you and me and OH that couple making out loudly in the shelves somewhere

4)      Awful first time meeting

i)       I accidentally punched you in the face when I was too overexcited about something

ii)      I thought you were my friend who’s just done something awful to me (read: cut my hair while I slept, dyed all of my clothes pink, etc. etc.) because you look similar from behind so I stormed up to you and shoved you from behind while calling you an asshole

iii)     You get the gist to this one

iv)     Oooh when you told me your name I thought you were joking because it’s fucking awful and I made a joke about it and things got awkward real fucking fast (perfect for a Hannibal au just saying)

5)      Weird places to meet/awkward meetings in general

i)       We live in the same block of flats but haven’t ever talked and Sunday morning we were both doing the walk of shame and had to stand in the lift together

ii)      “okay I know that being in the woods at 2am is a weird thing to be doing but my friend called me and- wait, why are you in the woods at 2am, fuck I’m going to die aren’t I?”

iii)     A personal favourite of mine – first day at a new job and oh fuck my boss is the person I drunkenly hooked up with last weekend/night

iv)     We keep accidentally running into each other I’m not a stalker I swear

v)      You live across from me in our apartments and we smile when we see each other but we don’t really know each other and oh you’re the stripper at my friend’s stag do/hen night fuck this is really uncomfortable

vi)     “My shower’s broken but I’ve got a date tonight could I possibly use your shower please?” “Oh sure (neighbour that I’ve been crushing on for the past six months) of course you can use my shower to get ready for your date (fuck fuck fuck)”

6)      Friends to romance – pining and all that wonderful shit

i)       You’ve got a date tonight and you asked for advice on what to wear but I’m so in love with you and damn you look good in the outfit I picked out for you

ii)      I really like you but you’re my best friend’s ex

iii)     You’ve liked me for ages and were really obvious about it and I didn’t like all the attention but now you’re over me I really miss it and fuck I think I like you too?

iv)     Somewhere along the way of getting into bar fights together, staying up all night with movie marathons, other friendship things, I’ve fallen in love with you but oh my god this could ruin EVERYTHING

v)      Friends with benefits oh wait I like you

7)      FAKE DATING HOLY SHIT I LIVE FOR THIS

i)       It’s my highschool reunion and I need a hot date so I can rub it in the faces of the people who hated me

ii)      My homophobic parents are coming to visit will you pretend to date me as an extra “fuck you”?

iii)     There’s a person who won’t stop bugging me will you pretend to be my partner so that they’ll fuck off?

iv)     I told my sister I have a boyfriend so she’d stop trying to set me up with people but now she’s coming to visit and I’m in too deep I need a fake boyf ASAP

8)      Soulmate aus

i)       The first words your true love(s) will say to you are tattooed on you and why the fuck are their first words something really ridiculous like ‘I’ll pay you a tenner to punch me in the face’ or ‘quick what’s your favourite animal’ or ‘fucking shit hell holy fuck wow oh my god jesus h Christ fuck me’ etc. or even worse a really ridiculous song lyric like  the opening lines of uptown funk or a high school musical song or smthing did you have to serenade me the first time you saw me asshole?

ii)      You get an ‘impression’ of your soulmate when you turn 18 or something but all I got was a strong smell of bananas or an overwhelming feeling that Thatcher was a good prime minister or an image in my mind of a fucking unicorn

iii)     The more ridiculous the better actually

iv)     Something like whenever your soulmate sings a duet you can’t help but join in and my fucking soulmate is in a goddamn band but I can’t sing for shit

v)      Or maybe something like soulmates always sneeze at the same time and I cant be sure but me and this kid in my French class just sneezed at the same time are we soulmates or was it a coincidence (proceed w character trying to make themselves sneeze around said person to see what’s what)

9)      Alternate universes for real

i)       Mermaids

ii)      Siren and asexual pirate who doesn’t understand why all his crew are losing their shit that person has a nice voice sure but what the fuck is happening

iii)     Hogwarts

iv)     We live in a world where the greek gods are real and you went and got yourself cursed and now I have to go on a fucking quest to sort this shit out why do I love you again?

v)      Pacific rim au (either they’re drift compatible or one of them is a ranger and the other stresses constantly bc what if they die yes I have read a fic like this no I didn’t come up with this one but it’s fucking good) (also if you haven’t seen that film go watch it now)

vi)     Literally any movie or book universe you like tbh just go for it

10)   Other aus that I like

i)       I wanted to go on the ferris wheel but there has to be two people to a cart come on random person let’s go oh wait are we stuck at the top? Fuck

ii)      We work in the same office and you have a goddamn squeaky chair and you wONT FUCKING STOP SQUEAKING IT BECAUSE YOU KNOW IT ANNOYS ME

iii)     Our mutual friend set us up on a blind date and I thought I’d hate it but you’re actually… kind of funny? But because I expected to hate it in no way am I going to let you change my mind just because you’re gorgeous and funny and intelligent oh no my friend is not winning this

iv)     It started to snow and I’m the only one of our friends who would go outside with you – I soon found out why none of the others would go out in the snow with you (this works best if they’re new friends who don’t know each other all that well) when you shoved a handful of snow down my back and declared snow war

v)      It’s nowhere near Christmas it’s literally still November would you calm down about Christmas wait no why are you getting the tree out no stop please stop (if you do this pre-relationship you can have the grouchy one secretly finding the other’s excitement endearing and falling in love with them actually that works for established relationship too)

vi)     Current partner got a new job in America (or other country far away) and we’re getting by on skype calls and emails but it’s not easy and then I met someone new (can be poly or can be finding the OTP person)

vii)   You want us both to get in shape and I hate working out/running but your ass looks really good in shorts oh the things I do for my friends and their nice asses

viii)  Carrying on from 10.vii. you’ve caught me checking you out in what I thought was a subtle way too many times and now you’re calling me out on it what do I do???

ix)     You’re an actor/other famous person that I really admire and I just saw you in the street and as I was debating whether or not to say hi you came up to me and started flirting what do I do??

x)      You were waving at your friend behind me but I got confused and waved back at you and now I’m dying of embarrassment but you think it’s cute

xi)     I sat down in the wrong class and I’m panicking but don’t want to get up and leave because the class has started and you think it’s hilarious and shut up you dumb fuck you don’t know me aahhh

xii)   I’m a waiter at this wedding and you’re a drunk guest who will not stop hitting on me please I’m trying to work no I can’t dance with you omg let me find you some water

xiii)  Our best friends are that awful ‘cute’ couple that make-out in public and call each other “sweetie” and “sugar” and “babe” and god they’re awful let’s talk about how awful they are – develops into “shit we’re the awful couple now”

xiv)  You pissed me off in class so I threw a book at your head and now I’m in detention and jesus fuck I hate you so much and the teacher made me apologise and wait you’re cuter up close and the way you talk is kind of nice actually oh fuck no

Okay I could go on forever but this is over 1,500 words of auing already I have too many ideas christ

send me some to @theskyis-forever with a pairing for me to write :)

27 Dress Code Violations

@jilychallenge 04/2017 | @bantasticbeasts vs @anxiouspotter

Muggle AUs | “i get dress coded so you give me your jacket and we protest unfair regulations for girls together/you sass the teacher about how distracted you are by my shoulders”

Word Count: 2500

special shoutout to @jiilys. solidarity, sister

AO3


i.

She walks into English fifteen minutes late, wearing both a deeply unflattering smock and a scowl. Neither are an especially new look on her.

“Vector,” she says under her breath, as an answer to Mary McDonald’s unspoken question. It’s the answer to every question in the room. Ms Vector is notorious among them all for her very strict adherence to the school’s dress code.

“Yes, Miss Evans’ entrance was very exciting, but I’ll have your attention back to the lesson now, please,” says Ms McGonagall. James snaps back to attention. It’s for the best.

ii.

“Here,” James says, shrugging off his jacket and thrusting it toward Lily. She gives him this look like, fuck off, and James has to bite his tongue to stop from aggravating her. “They’re doing uniform checks up the hall. Just put it on.”

Evans gives him a very strange look, and it takes him a second to realise that it’s neutral.

She looks good in his jacket.

iii. 

Every third dress code violation results in a lunch time detention. It’s only October, and Lily’s already had six. She doesn’t look at James as she takes the seat three ahead and one to the left of him.

iv.

There’s a thump from somewhere in the back of the classroom, and McGonagall isn’t planning on looking up - it sounds like it came from the general vicinity of Potter and Black, and that’s certainly not a situation she wants to engage with - but the entire class is already turned around to see what the fuss is.

She strides down the aisle between the desks, and is about three years past surprised to find James Potter lying on the floor, gazing at the ceiling, glasses knocked aside.

“Am I boring you so much that you decided to take a nap?” she asks, and James gives this wicked smile, and here we go–

“Sorry, Miss, I can’t get up. It’s Evans’ shoulders - they’re overwhelming me. I simply can’t do anything until she covers them up. Sirius, tell me when it’s safe.”

He’s a funny boy, she’ll give him that. “Potter, get up. This is hardly the time for foolishness.”

Keep reading

like real people do | jungkook

summary: the feelings for your friends with benefits are changing. months pass, and you feel your gut telling you that you want more. you’re just not sure if he feels the same. 

piece 1, piece 2, piece 3

college student!reader, friends with benefits!jungkook

based off hozier’s song ‘like real people do’

Keep reading

Holding You Back (Smut)

A/N: I’m in Prague this week with a friend and I set this to upload on it’s own so hopefully it works. A little trigger warning towards the end.
Requested to write a smut about the videos of the boys playing billiard in Glasgow and using some vibes from There’s Nothing Holdin’ Me Back too.

Word count: 5,323

“I swear he’s looking at you again” Ollie grinned, smiling at me widely. He put a couple of bottles with liquor back on their place, not taking his friendly eyes of me.

“Who?” I asked, grabbing two more glasses from the counter. I poured vodka in them both first, then some red bull before putting ice in both glasses.

“The tall, dark-haired guy” he said, nodding in the direction of the billiard tables in the other end of the bar.

Keep reading

The Pawns And The Kings

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7

Originally posted by bangtanbtsmut

Pairing: Jungkook x Reader

Type: Smut

Plot: The reader is kidnapped, left alone in utter darkness. Once the day of her auctioning comes, she’s given to the head of one of the worlds most powerful gangs, Jungkook. She was nothing but a gift to him. But her little soul turns out to have the power to turn the tides in the worlds angriest ocean. And it turns out, Jungkook isn’t the only man whom eyes have settled upon her.


The devil was once an angel - a beings whom’s sole purpose was peace and love. He held the grace of heaven in his hands and the love of God carefully sewn into his skin by a master seamstress. But one day he grew jealous, the sin in the form of an emotion plagued him. He aimed his heart towards this jealousy and lurched in it, losing himself. The thread in his countenance unwound and the needle grew dull. He had lost his grace. He fell from his family, being crowned the king of despair and agony, becoming the utter essence of hatred that grew in him, becoming the nature of his still beat heart. He had lost it to the desire to be worshiped, and granted himself henchmen. 

And so he was given a new name, a name that has only been uttered from a dead mans lips. What a cold pale purple they hold, the cracks running down the skin as they shiver out the name. “Min Yoongi”

Keep reading

4

“The other reason I took this job was so I could do really cool stuff like this: it is with great pride that my first order of business as commander of this base, is the announcement of the promotion of Major Samantha Carter to Lieutenant Colonel.”

❝ So you are jealous? ❞

Plot: Jungkook jealous 

Pairing: Jungkook x Reader

Words Count: 1,5k+

Genre: Angst

For Anon, I hope you like it cutie! 

kyu.

Gif isn’t mine, credits to the owner!

Originally posted by sugutie

‘Thank’s for tonight.’ Jungkook whispered as he held you in his arms and swayed to the soft music that was lingering around.

‘Thank you for such an amazing date.’ You responded as your head rested on his chest.

Yourself and Jungkook had been together for a year and two months. You were a stylist at Big Hit Entertainment and become good friends with Namjoon. He wasn’t your best friend but he was someone you could talk to, considering your lack of Korean when you first moved to Korea. Through him, you met Kook and everything went uphill from then on for the both of you. The two of you had been busy and tonight happened to be the only one where both of you could spend time together.

Jungkook closed the space between your lips. You had kissed many times prior to this, but this one felt like it made your relationship stronger. His lips moulded into yours as if they were made for each other. Fluttering your eyes close, you wrapped your hands around his neck while his went down to your waist. His lips were warm and welcoming as you kissed him back softly. Many times had you both had heated kisses, but this one had an innocence of true love. Pulling apart, he looked deep into your eyes and placed a kiss on your forehead. Lacing your fingers together, he guided you for a walk down the parkway. He had organised a dinner in the park for the evening.

‘The stars are so beautiful.’ You marvelled, looking up at the clear evening sky.

‘Not as beautiful as you.’ He smiled, looking at your side profile in awe.

‘Yah,’ You nudged him playfully, ‘You are so cheesy!;

‘I know, but you love it.’ The maknae pointed out just as your phone rang.

You held out a finger to pause the moment while the other began digging for the phone, ‘Hold that thought,’ You answered the phone, ‘Hello?….ah Joonie.’ You blocked the receiver and whispered back to your boyfriend, ‘Sorry, just give me a minute’ Placing the phone back on your ear, you walked away to continue the conversation with the rapper.

Kook clenched his fists as he saw you lover walk away, this had been the fourth time that Namjoon had phoned and not the first time he had ruined one of his moments. He found that the elder was doing it more often these days and was starting to get fed up. He knew that Namjoon was his hyung, but this was getting really irritating. Many times he wanted to tell you about it, but he didn’t wanna sound like a jealous boyfriend. He took a seat on a park bench and tried to restrain his anger while he waited for you to finish up your phone call. More then ten minutes passed before you came back, and not with a smile on your beautiful face.

‘What did he want this time?’ Jungkook asked, looking up at you.

‘Hey don’t be like that.’ You scolded.

‘This is the fifth time he phoned tonight!’ The maknae stood up, towering over you.

‘I know but he is my friend-’

‘Exactly! He is your friend.’

You sighed deeply ‘Listen I have to cut this short because he ripped a shirt that he was meant to wear for an interview.’

‘And so?’ He huffed.

‘He wants me to fix it,’ You explained, ‘He is at a friends place.’

‘What is he doing there?’ Kook asked with a raised brow.

‘How must I know?’ You chuckle, pecking his cheek, ‘You can go back to the dorm or my place.’

‘I will see you at home.’ A frustrated groan left his lips.

‘So I will meet you at home, okay baby?’ You tried to lighten the mood

‘Yeah whatever.’ He walked away.

You watched your boyfriend walk away from you. You hated to end this short, but Namjoon needed you, even if it was for a silly thing. You loved both of them, with it varying for each but it was love nevertheless. You went and hauled a taxi while he drove the car home. The drive was boring for the sound of the radio was the only thing making a noise. He was so angry that he didn’t even know how to express it at this point. Arriving home, he kicked his shoes off and went straight to have a shower. He reckoned the shower would ease his rage. Gratefully it did, but it only heightened as hours went by and you weren’t answering your phone.

‘How did you even manage this?’ You asked for the nth time since arriving hours ago.

‘I don’t even know.’ Namjoon said with a pout, ‘All I did was try and put it on.’

‘And there’s the answer.’ You chuckled, ‘You shouldn’t be able to do anything by yourself. You are the king of chaos Kim Namjoon. Forever breaking things!’

‘This was an accident!’ He tried to reason.

‘You lucky it was just a tear and not set on fire.’ You finish the last stitch before holding the shirt up, ‘There, all done.’

‘Thank you so much, Y/N!’ The rapper had you on his arms for a tight hug, lifting you off the ground and twirling you around.

‘Look at that, the mighty Rap Monster is actually a cute fluffy troll.’ His friend teased, camera pointed at the both of you.

‘Yah! I am cute.’ Joon challenged, ‘And I’m not a troll!’

‘What ever keeps you asleep at night.’ A snicker came from him as he posted the video.

‘Are you going home now?’ Namjoon asked, averting his attention to you.

‘Yeah, I was kinda on a date with Kook before this.’ You admitted, rubbing the back on your neck.

‘And you came to me!?’ The rapper gasped, ‘Why would you do that?’

‘Because you are my friend and you needed me.’ A shrug came as you felt Namjoon all but shove you out the door with your belongings, ‘What the hell!’

‘Get going, you should be with Kookie now, not me.’ The elder pointed out, ‘Goodnight, Y/N’

With a flash of his dimple smile, he slammed the door, ‘GOODNIGHT TO YOU AS WELL, YOU BRAT!’

‘LEAVE!’

Chuckling, you made your way to a taxi while a certain boy had watched the same video over and over. His hand all but wrapped around the phone with anger. Retreating to bed, he drifted to sleep. Thirty minutes passed before the sound of the entrance code beeped and the front door opened and closed. He heard you take your shoes off and toss your bag on the table. Your soft footsteps padded across the floor as he glared at the bedside clock which blinked 12:45am. His back was to the door as he lay and waited for you to enter. The bedroom door opened quietly as you tiptoed in and closed it softly as to not wake him, not that he was asleep.

‘Do you have any idea what the time is?’ He growled as you froze in your tracks.

‘I know baby ,I’m sorry.’ You apologised, lights flashing on.

‘Sorry?’ He stood up from the bed, ‘SORRY! Why have you not been answering your phone?!’

‘It was on silent.’ You defended.

‘It wasn’t on silent when we were at dinner and Namjoon kept phoning every thirty minutes like a pest!’ Kook pointed out, stepping dangerously close to you.

‘Don’t you call him that! He is your hyung.’ You scolded, ‘What is wrong with you?’

‘Me?’ He pointed at himself, ‘The question that should be asked is, ‘why are you taking him more into account then me?’,I am your boyfriend not him!’

‘I never said he was.’

‘Then why are you in his arms?’

‘Wait, what?’ You asked in shock.

‘I saw the video, don’t play dumb.’ He hissed.

‘Don’t you dare call me dumb!’ You threatened, ‘ And he was hugging me for fixing the shirt!

‘And a simple pat on the back couldn’t seal the deal? He had to have his hands all over you?’

You snapped at what was happening, ‘So you are jealous?’

‘What?NO!’

‘Oh please, you only act like this when I get more attention from another male. You fight with me for nothing until you realise that you are being stupid.’

In quick steps he had you pinned against the wall, ‘Stupid? How am I stupid one?’

‘B-because you are being jealous for no reason.’ She gulped.

‘Oh sweetheart, I am a man and I don’t like sharing.’ His deep voice resinated through your ears, ‘I am a selfish man when it comes to you, you belong to me and no one else.’

‘Jungkook…’ You said breathlessly.

‘You aren’t dumb, that I know.’ He whispered, ‘I am sorry for call you that, but I am not sorry for what is going to come next….’

How to Become an ALT in Japan

Basic Requirements

1. A university bachelors degree
-Any degree is ok, Latin American Studies, German, Linguistics, Astro-Physics, Sociology, doesn’t matter as long as it’s at least a bachelors 

 2. A clean criminal background check
-Have you been convicted of a murder? Are you a pedo? Do you have outstanding warrants in 3 states? Did you go to jail for a hit and run? Japan doesn’t want you. 

 3. Appropriately healthy and able bodied
-If you have a something that will prevent you from doing your job well, you will most likely not be hired. For example; you can’t use stairs, you can’t stand for 45 minutes at a time, you have a severe speech impediment (I know people here with lisps), things like this prevent you from teaching at full capacity and most places don’t have the time or resources to make special accommodations for you. 

What other skills might recruiters be looking for?

1. Japanese language ability
-NOT required for most positions, but helpful for communication both in and out of the workplace. Unless you live in a metropolitan area, the average Japanese person’s English is VERY limited. I know many people who came here with zero Japanese, but nowadays there are many with at least rudimentary Japanese. People rarely come here fluent, but many people study Japanese while living here to take the JLPT and their level improves by leaps and bounds. I am not one of those people, so don’t ask me for more details lol

 2. TESL/TEFL certification
-NOT required for most positions, but some private companies are starting to lean more towards certified individuals. And honestly, those give you a lot of skills you will absolutely need when teaching English. 

3. Teaching degree
 -NOPE, not required in 99.9% of the cases. I know a few people with them who are ALTs, I’ve heard mixed opinions on how well it helps them as an ALT. Some find it demeaning to work subordinate and be given limited control/responsibilities, other find it freeing because they can spend more time teaching and less time with test related paper pushing and discipline management.

4. Good attitude, flexibility, people skills
-You need to be able to present yourself as someone trustworthy and amiable to recruiters. The environments ALTs work in are often high-paced, prone to sudden last second changes, and being able to make friends in the office and keep a happy face with students is incredibly important. 

5. Prior experience
-Have you worked in a daycare before? Have you volunteered in tutoring centers? Have you led discussion groups as a major requirement?  Have you ever studied abroad? Have you ever volunteered in foreign classrooms? Have you taken charge of a club and organized events? Did you dorm with international students in university? Have you worked for an international program before? Have you given private language lessons before? These are the kinds of things that show you have experience in things that ALTs frequently encounter.

Can I mention my love of [INSERT JAPANESE CULTURE HERE]?

Yes, but keep is professional, relevant, and brief. 

“I became interested in Japan after watching Spirited Away, the cultural aspects of the movie fascinated me and made me want to learn more about Japan.” OK
“I have a collection of anime pillow cases, my favorite is Miku Hatsune in this pose.” NO 

“I started listening to Japanese music in high school. I eventually started learning Japanese to better understand the lyrics.” OK
 "When Pierrot broke up, I was shattered that the fanfic community would move on to other ships.“ NO 

“My school offered a short course on Japanese tea ceremony, and I thought the way that it formed historically was extremely interesting.” OK
“I want to learn the way of the samurai.” NO 

“I’m very interested in Japanese video game production companies. I went to college and majored in game design and I want to further study it by living in Japan and experiencing the community in person.” OK
“I want to play Resident Evil on fiber optic LAN with Japanese players so I can pwn more n00bs when I get back to America.” NO

What kind of ALT positions are available?

First and foremost: READ AND RESEARCH

If you do not do your own intensive research, you can get taken advantage of. You hear horror stories from people here all the time, and those mostly come from people didn’t research what they were getting themselves into. I cannot make a comprehensive guide to the THOUSANDS OF KINDS OF ALT positions across the country, this is only an overview. Look at that link, and always do extensive research of the companies/programs you’re interested in working for.

1. Government
 AKA JET Program
-The JET Program is the only government ALT program. It makes the Japanese government the middleman in your arrangements, which takes less money from your paycheck and gives you a more trustworthy means of income. It’s very competitive and the application process takes about 6 months. They only hire once a year. It’s arguably the best program, as it pays well, you have a lot of guaranteed vacation time, and they pay for your flights to and from the country. On the downside, you don’t really have a lot of say in where you are placed. Also, you cannot get a transfer unless VERY specific requirements are met. Also some prefectures/localities are nicer to their ALTs than others, but if they try to fuck you over you know you have the Japanese government backing you and they will keep you from being taken advantage of.

 2. Private Dispatch
examples: Interac, AEON, Borderlink, JIEC and MANY others
 -These are private companies that workplaces hire to provide them with ALTs. Workplaces do this because some of the intricacies in hiring an ALT and getting them a VISA and housing are really complicated, and they’d rather pay a middleman than deal with it. Upsides, you get a little more wiggle-room with being transferred. Downside by far is the pay. It depends on the company, but that middleman definitely takes a big chunk of your pay. If you work for a place like this, you need to VERY carefully read your contract. Research dispatch companies carefully, check their ratings online, see what former employees have to say about them. 

 3. Private Hire
 AKA working directly under the local government office, a private company, or even one-on-one’s in wealthy households
-These are places that will directly hire you without a middleman. Obviously, you need to look carefully at the details of your contract before working privately. Most local government places won’t hire you without prior ALT experience in Japan. Private English Conversation Schools (Eikaiwa) have non-9 to 5 working hours to provide for business workers and students. They sometimes require you to already have a VISA prior to being hired. Private Hire really is outside of my experience, but from what I understand they can pay as well as JET, but don’t usually have as many perks.

Where do I look for open positions?

GaijinPot is the website I’ve heard of the most. Check there and research research research. There are scammers, be careful. 

JET hires once a year starting around September or October. It’s available online on their official webpage.

There are a bajillion different dispatch companies. I couldn’t possibly name them all, I don’t really have a lot of experience with them, and don’t know which are particularly good or not. Check Google-sensei for their applications, websites, and reputations.

Other than that, please be wary of Craigslist. Although legit job openings do show up, there are scammers. If it’s someone looking for a “private female in-home English tutor from ages 19~25” or something like that, don’t be dumb. Many will require you to have a VISA with a minimum of 1 year on it already. Many will require you to already live in the area of the position. Research everything carefully.

Words of warning

If you think mental health issues are stigmatized in your home country, oh honey you ain’t seen nothin` yet.

If you have mental health issues, Japan may not be the place for you. You may think going to Japan, being surrounded by your hobbies and interests, and just “getting away” will make things better… IT WON’T.

Please be aware that you most likely will not be able to get your meds over the counter in Japan. And it’s not uncommon for your meds to be banned entirely even with a prescription. Bi-polar, anxiety, OCD, depression? Your meds might not be available here. Oh and having people send them over from home by mail can get you detained and deported if you’re caught.

You’ll also be leaving the support of friends and family by coming to Japan. The ALT community is pretty cool, but people come and go so quickly, it’s hard to find groups of people that will stick together through really tough spots.

Supervisors and coworkers aren’t much help either. In Japan, people don’t talk about mental health issues at all. If you take meds for anything other than a physical illness, you do it in private where people can’t see you. If you see a psychiatrist, you do it in a different prefecture, where no one can see you. It’s not uncommon for Japanese people to be asked to leave their jobs because their boss or coworkers have suspicions.

If you self medicate with something like marijuana, be aware that recreational drug use here is VERY VERY VERY illegal. Marijuana use is treated with the same seriousness as crack cocaine. You WILL be caught, you WILL be detained, you WILL be tried without a lawyer present, you WILL be held in solitary, you WILL be convicted of drug possession, and you WILL be deported.

Some ALTs will replace their marijuana use with alcohol. That goes about as well as it sounds :|

For LGBT, if you’re used to a very supportive queer community, it’s not the same here. Japanese people are extremely closeted and unless you live near a large metropolitan area, getting into the gay scene is nearly impossible. I’m fine because I was never in the gay scene back home, but for some people it’s very hard.

If you’re trans and want to come here to transition, please reconsider. I would suggest not coming to Japan as an ALT if you intend to transition in the immediate future. If your gender dysphoria is pretty bad, you’re gonna have a bad time. Gender segregation and enforcement of gender roles will probably seriously affect your mental health. The paperwork for transitioning is even harder from overseas and lot of things need to be done in person so you’ll have to fly back and forth from your home country a lot (which is damn expensive and needs vacation leave). Even if you do get everything done, there’s no telling how your work will respond. They won’t outright say they’re firing you for your gender identity, that’s illegal, they’ll come up with some other reason.

People who come here with a goal like paying off college loans or wanting to experience another culture usually have a better time that people who come here because OMG I JUST LOVE JAPAN. Please keep that in mind.

Let's Pretend (Bucky Barnes x Reader) Epilogue ❤️

A/N: Here it is you guys! The Epilogue! *cries historically* I just wanted to say thank you to all of you who’ve stuck with this story! It’s my first series and y'all are hella awesome for all the positivity!! 😭❤ Pls excuse any misspelling! And most of all, enjoy! - Delilah ❤

Xxxxxxx


“Ms. Y/L/N,” Friday chimed. “Mr. Barnes requests your presence in his room.”

You couldn’t stop the grin that spread on your face. Bucky and you were an official couple now, and you couldn’t help but feel as though the world was twice the better place than before. You’d never say it out loud, but you were falling for him. And you were falling hard.

Giving Friday a subtle okay, you made your way down the corridors to Bucky’s room. As you walked, the memories of your drunken endeavors replayed in your mind. In some weird way, you had Tony to thank. If he hadn’t have stumbled upon Let’s Pretend, you and Bucky wouldn’t be in the very happy relationship that you were currently in.

Opening the door, you were met with the sight of your boyfriend on his bed, the laptop once again on his lap. He grinned at the sight of you and patted the empty space on the bed beside him. He looked so handsome it was almost painful.

“What’s up?” You ask, sliding into the space and throwing an arm over his middle. You rested your head on his shoulder and looked at the glowing screen.

“The fans are going psychotic over the videos,” he says, peering down at you with a smile. And he was right. The video had been posted two days ago and the entire site was losing their minds. The three videos were released at the same time, but of course, the real one was the highest in views.

The fans were literally divided. The first half argued that the first video was real because of the subliminal messages (even though there were none). The other half believed that the third video was real, based on the fact that instead of the usual background, the video took place in a swimming pool; thankfully they were wrong as well.

Now the third half, those were the smart ones. Instead of looking at the whole plot, they noticed small details. Like how Bucky’s hair was shorter the last time he wore the 40’s uniform. Why would he have longer hair? Why couldn’t one of the girls shapeshift him with short hair?

Another huge giveaway was your tattoo on your hip. You hadn’t told anyone that you had it, even your close friends didn’t know. So when the fans caught a glimpse of the small heart on your hip, it raised some eyebrows.

But despite all of the solid evidence, the fans were certain it was real, not because of the physicality, but the chemistry. You and Bucky were in love and it only made sense that your first time would be rather passionate. In the previous videos, it was mostly sexual playfulness between your characters. But when they saw the way your eyes stared into Bucky’s with pure passion and the way he made you orgasm so hard that you cried, they instantly knew.

The comment section was an adorable war zone.

LuckyDucky97:
“@NuggetQueenxx no it’s the first vid! Her hair is darker!!”

Mr.PizzaGod123:
“U guyz r hella dumb. It’s totes vid #3. Bucky’s dick is bigger!”

WadeWilson1982:
“Guys trust me, I’m THE Y/N expert! It’s the second video.”

WhiskeyxPrincess
“It’s the second vid y'all! Look @ how he kisses her! They never kiss!!!!”

TunaMaster99:
“@WhiskeyxPrincess I SAID THE SAME THING OMG!”

CindyTheFairyQueen:
“It’s definitely the third one. Bucky’s arm looks shinier!”

Bucky-Owns-This-Azz:
“Nah the first one is real. My friend knows them! (;“

TheRedQueen:
“@Bucky-Owns-This-Azz LIAR!”


You and Bucky continued scrolling through the comments, giggling like children at the crazed fans. As much as you wanted to, you couldn’t reach out to them. If word got out that The Winter Soldier and Y/N Y/L/N had a sextape, no one would take the Avengers seriously anymore.

Not to mention, your family would be extremely disappointed in you. And Tony would be there cackling like a crow through all of it.

You felt Bucky press a tender kiss onto your forehead.

“At least we look hot,” he says cheekily, making you both erupt in laughter.

Xxxxxxx

A week later, Bucky’s in Tony’s lab getting his usual repairs for his arm. Everything was going great, until Tony brought up his beloved missing camera that he had mysteriously stumbled upon in his old room.

Bucky nearly fell off the chair. He must’ve forgotten it after moving out of his room. You both decided that he should keep the camera, as he’d be suspected less. Everyone always suspected you when it came down to missing stuff and you never knew why.

“Maybe you left it there?” Bucky murmured. He needed to stay calm. Maybe he hadn’t seen it yet, and all Bucky need to do was sneak back in there later and delete it. Problem solved! No need to lose his head ye-

“I found a rather interesting video on there,” Tony says with a smirk as he tinkered with the super soldier’s arm. “Care to elaborate on that?”

Oh God, Y/N was going to murder him.

“I don’t know what your talking about,” Bucky meant for it to be a plain statement, but instead it came out like a question. A very squeaky question.

It’s as if life had a personal vendetta against him. Of all the people to need assistance from Tony, Steve walked in, broken iPhone in hand with a small sheepish smile. This was the fourth time cracking his screen.

“Speak of the devil,” Tony smirked. “Bucky here was just telling me about the ol’ war days.”

Steve cocked his head to the side curiously and eyed his best friend. “Oh really? You’re memories are getting better, Buck.” He pats his friend on the shoulder and pulls up one of the metal stools.

“Yeah! He was telling me about the time you got shot up and the nearest hospital was like….ten years away, haha!”

Oh no….

Steve followed Tony’s laugh with his own. “You’re gonna have to be more specific about that,” he says. “It’s happened more than I can count.”

Tony let out a cackle, clapping his hands together. Bucky was never going to get out of this. Why did life hate him so much? This is not what he had in mind when it came to karma. Death by humiliation sounded like an inane way to go.

“Well, from this particular story, a LOT happened after that, if you catch my drift.” The black haired man said with a wink. Bucky covered his face with his hands in shame.

Steve, being the pure angel he was, was completely oblivious to the innuendo. He stared at his friend, trying to recall the many near death experiences that ended in anything peculiar. But alas, he found none.

“I’m not following,” Steve admitted after a pregnant pause. Bucky let out a sigh of despair.

“You know what,” Tony says, walking to his toolbox and digging around. “I think this’ll help refresh your memory a bit.” In his hand, was THE camera that Bucky and Y/N used for the video.

“YOU KNOW WHAT,” Bucky exclaimed as he stood from the chair and began to drag Steve away. “I FORGOT WE HAD TRAINING!”

Steve wiggled in his friend’s grasp, grabbing onto various things in an attempt to make him stop. What had gotten into his friend?

“What the hell is going on?” You say, crossing your arms over your chest.

The three men freeze, staring at you with wide eyes. Tony didn’t plan on having this conversation with you present, but now he had no choice. He might’ve been a egotistical little shit, but he was certainly not a whimp.

You narrowed your eyes at him.

Okay, maybe he was a little bit.

“Tony was just trying to show me this video Bucky made for me, but he won’t let me see.” Steve replied, straightening himself up.

Your eyes widened when you saw the camera in Tony’s hand. “It’s really nothing, Steve!” You tried your best to convince him. “Like, really. Nothing.”

“Oh, it’s definitely SOMETHING.” Tony chimed in.

You shot Bucky a panicked glance, trying to fight the urge to cry. You just KNEW Tony would do something with it. He might go as far as posting it on the Stark Industries website, because that’s right up his alley.

The sound of metal being crushed broke you from your trance. Bucky had grabbed the camera from Tony’s hand and slammed it into the floor, shattering it into a million tiny pieces.

“WHAT THE FUCK, BARNES!” He shouted, his face turning an angry scarlet.

Without another word, Bucky had scooped you up and threw you over his shoulder, running as fast as he could out of the lab. The last thing you heard was Tony’s angry swears and threats.

Impressively, Bucky didn’t let you down until you both were in the safety of your shared room with the door locked. He set you on the bed gently before plopping beside you with a satisfied sigh.

You turned to him and gave him a small smack on his behind, making him jump. He frowned, turning his head and looking at you.

“I told you like ten times to pack the camera!” You pouted, narrowing your eyes at your boyfriend.

“I’m sorry, doll,” he sighed, propping himself up on his elbow. “You know how forgetful I can be.”

You roll your eyes playfully and run your hands through his hair. He leaned into your touch, putting softly.

“You know,” you say. “We could always make videos on our phones. No one will find those.”

His eyes flew open in surprise, making you laugh.

“You promise?” He asks adorably.

“Promise.”

Xxxxxxx

Steve and Natasha stared at the purple fluorescent background of Let’sPretend.com. Their eyes trailed over video after video of the pair. But what caught their attention the most was a certain video in particular.

“Captain America Gets A Fourth of July Blowjob By Black Widow!”

The thumbnail was a picture of Natasha with her finger on her lips in a shushing motion. She was dressed in only a bikini with little American flags printed on them, the top was a few sizes too small and barely covered her nipples. She was kneeling seductively in front of a semi nude Steve, who was wearing only the same white cotton briefs from before.

And dare she say it, they looked hot.

The blond took her silence as a sign of discomfort, to which he let out a small cough, gaining her attention.

“I-I’m sorry if this is too weird,” he says, reaching for the laptop, only to be stopped by Nat.

She grabs the collar of his shirt and pulls him closer, ghosting her lips against his.

“You’ve got two minutes, Cap. When get back here I want you on your hands and knees. Got it?” She asks, her eyes burning with desire.

Steve’s eyes widened at her sudden dominance before nodding, his erection already forming a tent in his gray sweatpants.

“Yes, Mistress.”


FIN. ❤


Tag List of Super Cool People That Are Awesome!!

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A mission with Yoongi

Genre: Smut

Tags: kinky sex / dominating Yoongi / orgasm denial / swearing/ sex talk

MAFIA AU

Pairing: Min Yoongi/Reader

Related fics (not necessary to read them in order to enjoy this story)

First part: Jungkook: When you catch him masturbating

Second part: Jungkook: When you grind his thigh

Third part:  Jungkook and Tae’s mischievous plan

Setting: A background story depicting the relationship of Min Yoongi and the sister of the head of a mafia organisation. Both of you are sent on a mission and forced to play out the roles of husband and wife.

Characters:

You: The sister of the boss of a mafia organisation. 

Min Yoongi: A genius hacker and a hit man. Due to some unfortunate events, your relationship with him can be best described as the mixture of love and hate. He’s a member of the same mafia organisation, which makes him your fellow co-worker. One day you’re both sent on a mission and forced to pretend to be happily married. 


Originally posted by hidden--demons

“Fucking shit-head,” you spit out while adjusting your dress.

It might be a bit too tight and it rolls up every now and then, exposing even more of your flesh. “Why him, of all people?” your hands gently running through the locks of beautiful long hair and then you freeze. Flashbacks from the past, the day when you first met Min Yoongi, creep into your head all over again. It’s like an endless cycle of trying to ignore his malicious presence that threatens your sanity and ability to think straight each and every day.

 “Fucking impossible,” you hiss, fixing up the dress for the umpteenth time, this time around your boobs area. It’s maybe not as much that he is a complete jerk and bastard. He really can be sweet, for example to your sister. Yes, he certainly can. Your sister is his boss and he looks up to her, also, they seem to be pretty fond of each other and it’s all perfectly fine. You can understand it all. She is the boss of a Mafia organisation and he’s just been doing his job, doing it pretty well, if you were to admit, resulting in their friendly bond. They hit it off pretty well, though. Something that you can’t really say about you and Yoongi. Some time ago, maybe a year or so… 

“Has it been such a long time already? Gosh,” you ponder out loud.

 But yes, indeed, it must have been a year since that day when you were given orders to kill one, particularly nasty and uncontrollable, associate of your sister’s organisation. Yeah, usual stuff. Find the guy, corner him when he least expects it, and then get rid of him, in a most cautious and quiet manner. Nobody wants to deal with problematic shit, for sure not your lovely sister. The thing is, on the way you encountered some bothersome issue, something that can be exactly labelled as problematic shit. The night when you stepped into the house of the soon-to-be-dead guy, you knew you weren’t alone in this lavishly decorated villa. Somebody else was there, not a member of the target’s family, maid, hooker, whatever, it was another hit-man. A very wily and clever one, to put it lightly. You weren’t exactly sure who was his target. At some point it crossed your mind that he could’ve been after you, but no, it wasn’t the case. The two of you finally confronted each other in the living room, two bullets killing the guy immediately. You aimed for his heart, while the black-clad stranger chose to drill a hole in his head. Disgusting…

 “Crazy mother fucker,” you still cringe at the memory. 

Anyway, the moment when the guy collapsed on the ground drawing his last breaths, you and that intruder stood motionless for a couple of seconds to assess one another’s intentions. You remember that at this point your mind was completely blank. Without much thinking, you pulled the trigger, but this sneaky little bastard must have anticipated your hasty decision cause he ducked down and then jumped in your direction, landing basically on you and immediately straddling you. His grip was strong. What really puzzled you back then was the fact that he didn’t kill you, although he really could have just taken out his gun and make a hole in your head, same as he did with this unfortunate guy. It would have been easy, taking into account your shitty mistake. Yeah… He really got you there. Something he’s been continuously reminding you about on every possible occasion. You were struggling for some time, trying to wriggle out of his grasp and somehow maybe still come out completely unscathed of this crappy situation. Not much time had passed, though, and then you heard the sounds of the police sirens. Both of you realising that the party was over, and that it was high time to clear out, ASAP. He let go of you and chuckled a little. You couldn’t see his face because of the balaclava, but without a single doubt he must have been smirking like a fucking madman. He sprang to his feet and run away using one of the back doors. You followed his lead and got the hell out of that place. He was nowhere to be seen, though. You simply lost his track. The mission was a complete fiasco. Sure, the guy was dead, but due to the mess that thwarted your plans you didn’t manage to fulfil the orders completely. You didn’t bring back with you the set of jewellery that had been your sister’s object of desire. Before kicking the bucket, the targeted guy committed one single, but what a grave mistake. The mistake that ultimately cost him his life. He robbed your sister of that fancy necklace and earrings, hoping to get away with it.

 “What a fucking imbecile,” you mutter to yourself, applying a red lipstick on your lips. 

More memories of the past events flowing into your head, and sadly, you have to admit that you really fucked it all up. The outcome was that you didn’t retrieve that necklace. Worse even, you were fucking out-fooled by some other hired killer. And later, it obviously turned out that it had been none other than Min Yoongi. You still remember the day when he appeared in your sister’s office carrying a little silk drawstring bag in his hand. He introduced himself as the man who… Oh my God… Your fist clench at the sheer reminiscence of his self-confident rant.

He said that he was “the man who is capable of carrying out the tasks that other people screw up.” 

He was standing there, looking deeply into your sister’s eyes. Then, he showed you the bag, ostentatiously waving it in front of your faces.

“Do you want to have what`s inside?” he asked. 

Your sister didn’t respond, keenly observing his actions.

“Do you?” he nagged, opening the bag in order to take out the stolen necklace. At this very moment your sister’s eyes were shining just as bright as this breathtaking piece of jewellery. 

“Let me work for you and I’ll give you this and many other things,” he offered, smiling cunningly.

And she agreed. Yes, she fucking agreed. As a consequence, this overconfident prick and annoying jerk, Min Yoongi, has become your co-worker. He has been a member of the gang for almost a year now, pissing you off whenever he just as much as appears in sight. Not to mention the moments when he opens that dirty mouth of his. To your misfortune, he’s one of the most trustworthy people here, and certainly does his job extraordinary well. He’s so full of himself that sometimes you just want to tear him to pieces and make that shitty smirk fade away once and for all, but you can’t. He’s supposed to be your partner, duh. 

“Over my dead body,” the thought flashes through your head, making you frown and cringe. 

You’re also painfully aware of the fact that Min Yoongi occupies your head all the fucking time. An unpleasant and self-loathing feeling creeps over your entire being. You can’t help thinking about him. It’s like the more you try to control yourself the more difficult it becomes. The truth is, you aren’t exactly a good girl. No, not at all. You’ve always teased guys and made them chase you, only to leave them hanging in the end, when you decided you’ve had enough of them. You simply love the feeling of being in power, seeing guys on their knees, ready to cater to all of your whims. Min Yoongi, though… He’s been persistently ignoring you and your presence, something that you’re not exactly used to. He behaves as if he didn’t give a single fuck about you, mocking you all the time and teasing whenever the occasion allows for some little chit-chat. You hate him so much. You despise every single thing about him, and yet… Yet, you keep thinking about him, and it’s all his fault. You know the exact source of your distress. He’s been giving you a roller-coaster ride, being a complete dumb-ass one day and then casually complimenting the way you look the other. Sometimes you’re not even sure if it’s a compliment. He’s been so sly and smug about everything and the way he approaches you that it’s fucking unbelievable. Another flashback troubles your pretty head. The night when he came to your room and kissed you. 

He fucking kissed you. He gripped you roughly to keep you still, and then he fucking kissed you. You were so speechless and utterly shocked you didn’t even know how to react. The kiss was oddly delicate, and should you say, affectionate even? He barely brushed his lips over yours and the grip on your shoulders suddenly became even tighter. He stopped for a moment and then softly licked your lower lip, asking for permission. You let him. You let him do that and shortly afterwards he was pressing you to the wall, kissing fondly and greedily. When both of you were short of breath, he let go, arms still wrapped around you. The look on your face must have been absolutely ridiculous because he laughed out loud, not being able to hold in his amusement.

“You can now close your mouth, silly. I’m not gonna kiss you anymore today,” he whispered tenderly, placing a finger on your lips.

The smug smirk on his face then… You’re going to remember it till the end of your days. You’re so lost in your thoughts that you are completely oblivious to Yoongi’s presence in the room. You jump, startled by the deep and rough tone of his voice that breaks the silence in the bathroom. 

Originally posted by beui

“My wife wouldn’t ever wear such indecent clothes,” he comments mockingly, eyeing up your figure from head to toes.

“Oh, really?” you question, looking at him and trying to hide your state of surprise. You continue, facing him, “Do I really have to say it out loud how much I care about your thoughts on my fashion choice?” 

He tilts his head to the side, raising an eyebrow, “Personally, I think it is not much of a fashion choice if you wear clothes that barely cover your ass.” A smirk follows. You turn around to look at yourself in the mirror again, announcing, “No fucks given, Yoongi. Not even a single one.”

He teasingly keeps on bringing up the main idea behind your mission tonight, that is - you and Yoongi pretending to be a happily married couple, attending to a party organised by your gang’s foe so as to steal some data from his private laptop. You lure the guy to distract his attention, and in the meantime, Yoongi takes care of the laptop. Easy, in theory at least. 

He picks up the topic yet again, purposefully trying to anger you even more, “Please, don’t swear. It is not fit for a lady. Not to mention my wife.” He takes a couple of steps towards you, dangerously closing the distance between you. If he reached out with his hand now he would easily manage to scoop you into his arms. 

“Oh, my. You’re so in character tonight, Yoongi. Does the thought of being my husband excite you so much?” you retort, pretending to be busy with fixing up your hair. 

“Who knows? If I worked a bit on that foul mouth of yours then maybe you wouldn’t turn out to be half bad?” he wonders out loud, staring at your expression in the mirror. 

“For fuck`s sake, why does it have to be you of all people? Couldn’t I go on that mission with Jungkook, or Tae Tae?” you whine  while washing your hands, “Anybody, just not you, dammit.” You pull at the towel angrily, wanting to dry your hands. 

“Maybe we’re meant to be? Try to think about this that way,” he chuckles. “I’d rather die a virgin than be with a jerk like…,” you don’t finish your sentence because the moment you feel Yoongi’s hot breath on the nape of your neck your mouth goes dry. Your hands frantically grip on the washbasin when he abruptly tugs on the hem of your dress in an attempt to cover your ass. You would surely lose balance if not for Yoongi’s rough grip on your hips. Nails digging into your skin and then he hisses into your ear, “I told you to cover it up, didn’t I?” He breathes out, annoyed and then takes a step back. Your body shivers a little. He keeps on observing you attentively in the mirror and then he says, “I’m waiting in the car. We’re going to be late if you continue dolling up like that.” He gives you one last look and then turns around, aiming for the door. When you’re left alone in the bathroom you can feel your legs giving up. You slide down and end up sitting on the cold tiles.


The chauffeur opens up the door of the black Bentley as soon as he notices you going down the stairs. You get into the car, sitting right next to Yoongi on the back seat. 

“I’m sure you’re aware how much depends on our close cooperation tonight,” he clears his throat and then carries on talking, “I’ll need you to divert his attention for approximately 10 minutes… Yeah, I think it should suffice.” The driver starts the engine and your body slightly rocks to the back. Yoongi resumes talking, “Providing, of course, that the guy will be stupid enough to leave his office unattended. If there are thugs keeping an eye on his shit then we’re fucked. And this will be most probably the case… Sometimes I wonder if we’re paid enough here. Your sister’s orders are getting more and more ridiculous.” 

“Wait a minute, dear husband. Aren’t you the man who ‘is capable of carrying out the tasks that other people screw up’, hmm?” you question him, sarcastically. “I’m sure we’ll be all fine, right?” you turn your face to smile gently at him. He is visibly amused by your back talk, but he doesn’t ease up on you, “As long as you make sure not to do more harm than good then yeah, I’d say we’ll most probably be all fine, Pretty face.” That seemingly affectionate pet name he’s just used to address you makes your blood boil. Your press your thighs unconsciously, doing your best to hold your emotions at bay. You promise yourself to pay him back by the end of that evening. You’ll turn the tables tonight, no matter at what cost.

When you arrive at the mansion, it quickly turns out that the place is virtually filled to the brim with the owner’s muscle-men. Not a very promising perspective, unfortunately. You’re sipping your drink at the bar when you feel somebody grabbing at your elbow. It is Yoongi. He drags you to the nearest secluded place and pulls you closer to him. 

“I’ve checked the office. It seems we’re going to have a huge problem to get there,” he informs you, looking around to double check if you’re all alone.

“Seems like it’s the moment for plan B,” you respond nonchalantly. 

“What plan B, Baby doll?” he asks, his pupils getting bigger. 

“Just make sure nobody interrupts me,” you shake of his hands and walk past him, disregarding yet another questionable nickname. 

He watchfully eyes your figure and cautiously follows your lead, keeping his distance. To his surprise, you openly approach the owner and initiate a friendly small talk. It doesn’t last long before he can clearly see, even from afar, that the guy is simply drooling over you. The last thing he registers is how you and your target disappear behind the door of the guy’s office. He swallows hard, his stomach clenching in an unpleasant manner. “Mr Min, would you like a glass of champagne?” a waitress politely offers him a drink, but he blurts out furiously, “Get the hell out of my sight, woman.” He walks away, clenching his fists.


Less than two hours later both of you arrive home, your purse hiding today’s mission loot- a pen drive containing data about the guy’s shady business. A victory. A tremendous success, even. All thanks to you. Yoongi can fuck himself. You walk into your bedroom and immediately collapse on the bed, satisfied. Yoongi enters just after you, loudly slamming the door behind him. 

“How did you get that data? I won’t repeat myself,” his voice as cold as ice. 

“In fact, you did anyway,” you start counting on fingers, “like three or four times already?” God, finally. Finally, you’re the one in control, having him in the palm of your hand. You’re fucking overjoyed, eyes sparkling with excitement. Min fucking Yoongi got what he deserved and you’re certainly going to savour this moment. “Yoongi, why are you so tensed? What happened to your good mood, darling? Tell me, you know you can confide in your wife,” you tease, riling him up even more. Hands gently brushing away some locks of hair that kept on tickling your neck. You flash the most bubbly smile you’re capable of making, eyes gazing into his.

Originally posted by talk-me-down-troye

“What the fuck is there on your neck?” he hisses out, making you jump on the bed in alarm.

“My neck?” you ask, totally unaware of the hickey. The look on his face sends a cold shiver down your spine. He comes up to you in three large steps. Your body unconsciously moves backwards, but he catches your elbow and forces you to get off the bed. His grip is so tight and forceful that you whimper in pain.

His nails bite into your arm and the sudden jerk makes you plead him to stop “Yoongi, please!”

“Did you let that bastard touch you?” he asks, doing his best to control his shaky voice. A vein on his forearm swells up, slowly changing its colour into a more bluish shade. 

“Did he fuck you?” he spits out through clenched teeth. 

“No, no, he didn’t. Please let me go!” you cry out, doing what you can to wriggle out of his grasp, but he only squeezes you tighter, bringing you close to his torso. Your eyes meet for what seems to be like an eternity. He looks hurt. You cannot believe in all of that. You want to look away, but he cups your chin with the other hand, forcing you to look him directly in the eyes. Does he actually care about you?

He whispers dryly, “You’re now going to fucking tell me what happened in that stinking office and you’re going to give me even the smallest details. Do you understand, or do you want me to repeat?” 

You nod in response, deciding that perhaps now it’s not the time to carry on with the teasing. “Fine, you fucking psycho. I sweet-talked the guy and he took me to his office, hoping to get laid, I presume. When we were alone I teased him a little and…” you hesitate for a moment, thinking about the best way of saying things out loud, but Yoongi doesn’t appreciate this pause and rushes you to proceed with the answer, “And what?” he blurts out. 

“I can’t fucking believe it. Nothing. Do you hear me? Nothing. I let him kiss me once or twice and then I asked him for a drink. He nibbled at my neck one last time, probably leaving the hickey, and then got up with his ass to take care of the booze. For both of us. I was lucky, because he announced that he has to take a piss. I used my chance and I poured some shit into his drink. He gulped the entire thing at one go, so it didn’t take too long before he was sleeping on the couch like a fucking baby. What else do you wanna know? Eh? Is that detailed enough for you?” you’re almost breathless when you’re done with the story. Yoongi’s piercing gaze makes you feel anxious. What the fuck is wrong with him… You wish you could disappear from this place. His grip loosens a bit, but still, he’s so close that you can feel his hot breath on your cheek. He’s not that tensed anymore, as if a weight was lifted from his heart. 

“Is that supposed to convince me, Baby doll?” the tone of his voice slightly changes, “You’d have to try a little harder.” He smirks, mockingly. You suddenly miss the view from a couple of minutes ago. Insecure and jealous Yoongi is better than that cocky ass. Wait a minute… Is he really jealous? You are determined to check it now. 

Originally posted by jjks

“Actually, you can think what you want. Maybe he fucked me senseless on his fancy desk, maybe he didn’t. Who knows?” you smile playfully, “You have no way of telling.” Your words are like a red rag to a bull for Yoongi who must have run out of patience by now. He pushes you and then you land on the bed, completely bewildered. 

“What the fuck, Yoongi?” you snap at him, propping yourself on the elbows.

“If you are so unwilling to cooperate I, as your husband, feel compelled to examine the things personally,” he informs you while placing his knees on the bed. 

You want to pull both of your knees to your chest but he forcefully grasps your thighs in order to spread them. You blush, embarrassed and furious at the same time. 

“What the fuck do you think you’re doing?!”, hands on his shoulders in an attempt to push him off you. 

“I know a very efficient way of checking your faithfulness, darling. Just don’t fucking move for a moment. Could you, Baby doll?” he questions, tenderly. 

You want to punch him, but he grasps your hand and pulls you in for a kiss. You forget to breathe for a moment, obviously caught off guard. Unlike the first time, he is very rough and pushes his tongue inside your mouth, without waiting for your consent. His tongue expertly swirls around yours and then he seductively nibbles on your lower lip. He purrs softly, vibrations making you shiver in response. He’s very passionate, the tip of his tongue playfully rolls over yours. You melt into the kiss, mentally cursing Yoongi. Your arms are awkwardly spread on the sheets. What are you supposed to do? Hug him back? You are torn. He can’t possibly get to know how much you are enjoying this. Oh lord, but you’ve been itching to have him do dirty things to you for so long that you can’t take it anymore. His kisses are gradually getting more sloppy and desperate. A hand experimentally sneaking under your dress to fondle with the soft flesh of your thigh. His hand is so cold that it makes you squeak. Yoongi smirks into the kiss. He caresses your inner thigh in a circular movement, light strokes barely touching your skin, yet you involuntarily spread your thighs even wider. He takes that as an invitation and confidently pushes his entire finger into your tight pussy. You groan in pleasure, hands now roaming his body. He muffles your desperate moan with the kiss, but pulls away shortly after. You look at him through half-lidded eyes, totally gone at this point. 

“Baby doll, you’re so tight I seriously doubt that ‘he fucked me senseless’ option” he whispers breathily, lips brushing your earlobe and then he tugs at it with his teeth eliciting a whimper from you. He hooks his finger inside you, moving it in and out of your pussy. Your stomach clenches each and very time he hits the back walls of your vagina. You’re still a bit too dry for such a violent penetration, but he doesn’t seem to care at all and keeps going with sharp, deep strokes. His long finger goes all up inside you and then he puts his thumb on the very tip of your clit, brushing it gently. This is the exact moment when you lose all self-control and jerk your hips, wantonly fucking yourself on his finger. Strangled moans escape your lips as he goes on with the rubbing on this extremely sensitive organ while fingering you. He is in so deep that you can feel this familiar pressure just underneath your belly button. It hurts but you want it to be this way. He’s so violent and unforgiving. You raise your head a little and then you meet his piercing dark eyes, clouded with lust and anger. You look away, sheepishly. Face blushing all shades of red as you close your eyes, not being able to bear that intense gaze. He notices your insecurity and fondly rests his forehead on yours. You’re a bit stunned for a moment, obviously surprised at the affectionate gesture. Right then, he inserts a second finger and you arch your hips to help him a little. He smiles softly, so unlike his usual eat-shitting grin. He fingers you so well that soon enough you can hear these wet, sloppy sounds of your slit getting fucked. You’re sure that by now his finger and hand must be covered with your juices. You’re short of breath, wriggling underneath him as you chase your orgasm, uncontrollably clenching around his finger. Just when you’re about to climax, Yoongi withdraws his finger and leaves your pussy clenching around thin air, hips jerking desperately into void. 

You try to grab him and force him to continue as he gets off the bed, but you can’t reach him. Your heart is pounding so loudly that you’re afraid he might actually hear it. In silence, he languidly moves in the direction of the door, which pushes you almost on the verge of tears. You call out his name, voice all shaky, “Yoon… Yoongi!” No response, though. You stand up from the bed, legs trembling as you go after him. You stumble and almost collapse, gripping his shoulders at the last moment and clinging to him in a needy way. You’re afraid to speak because of the lump that formed in your throat. You dig your nails into his back, swallowing a sob. Is he going to leave just like that? He reaches for the doorknob and locks the door. A shiver runs down your spine. 

“What are you doing, Baby doll?” he questions and exhales sharply. 

Then, he places his hands on yours, caressing them tenderly and turns around, wrapping his arms around your waist. 

He purrs softly into your ear “I had to lock the door, I’ve been waiting for too long for this to let anybody disturb us.”

“Fuck you, Yoongi. Seriously, fuck you!” you press your knotted fists into his chest, angry at yourself for losing your cool. 

He abruptly pushes you against the wall, pinning your wrists above your head and sucking the skin of your neck into his mouth. He sucks and nibbles at the sensitive flesh, as if trying to cover the place of the unfortunate hickey with his own mark. Suddenly, he stops and carefully examines the outcome, frowning his eyebrows. 

He cups your cheek, forcing you to look at him, “You better listen now, Baby doll. It was the fucking last time you let anybody touch you, apart from me. Are we clear?” You swallow hard. 

“Are we clear?” he repeats enraged and irritated with your lack of response. You simply nod absent-mindedly, staring at his wet lips. He hikes up your dress, ass and pussy on display, and grasps your leg to hook it around his waist. He starts grinding against your wetted core. Your hips rocking in unison. He pants heavily, lips hungrily looking for yours. He sets up a steady rhythm and you do your best to roll your hips together with him. 

“Baby… Baby I need you naked, so badly,” he murmurs, his hands finding their way under your dress, stroking your back and rolling up the material even higher. Seconds later, he simply rips off your dress, taking in the view of your naked body. 

He grunts, satisfied, “It’s even better than I imagined, and believe me, I had high expectations.” Your ears burn with embarrassment at his blunt words. “Has he been imagining things with me?” you think to yourself, digesting what he has just told you. He takes a step back and you find it hard to stand on your own, without his body pressed to yours. He ogles your perfect figure, slowly unbuttoning the white shirt. You haven’t noticed it before, but now the wall feels so unpleasantly cold that you really wish he was closer again, petting your skin and warming you up. With shaky hands you reach for the buttons. He smiles. 

“I wanted to fuck you so roughly you’d never even think about looking at another guy but if you continue being so cute I doubt I’ll be able to do that, Baby,” he whispers in a low voice, leaving the buttons for you and hastily unbuckling his leather belt. 

“Rough or gentle, as long as you make me cum I don’t really care,” you flat-out state your eagerness which makes him chuckle again. 

Finally, you take off his shirt, admiring his torso and perfect stomach and then you help him get rid of the trousers. You gaze down, eyes glued to his boxers that are drenched with pre-cum. You reach for the waistband, not being able to hold back anymore, freeing his cock from the irritating material. His breath hitches when he feels the cold air on his rock-hard cock. 

“Oh fuck Yoongi,” you instinctively press your thighs together when you lay eyes on his erected penis. 

“Yes, baby doll?” he hums softly, pushing you against the wall again and squeezing your ass with all his force. You bite back a moan, unexpectedly wrapping your palm around his shaft. He loves this and encourages you to go on, gently stroking your hair, “Baby doll, you know… Ahh,” he stutters when you grab his balls with the other hand, massaging them lightly while still jerking him off. He takes a deep breath and continues in a strangled voice, “Do you have any idea, how much I’ve always wanted you to do it for me?” The sinful whisper makes your head feel dizzy. His penis is so slick that your hand easily goes up and down his entire length. Then, you start twirling your finger around the head of his penis. At first slowly and sensually but then you go faster and faster and you can literally feel him throbbing. His knees buckle.

 “You have to stop, now,” he orders, weakly trying to push your hands away.

“Do you really want me to stop? I thought you wanted it oh so badly,” you tease, biting on his collarbones. 

He is so riled up and needy at this point that he violently turns you around and forces you to bend down with your ass high up in the air, hands resting on the wall for support. 

“Sure, but there is something I wanted even more… Can you guess what it is, Baby doll?” he mutters, positioning himself and placing one hand on your hip. 

You can feel as he brushes your clit with the tip of his erection and you moan so loud, pushing your ass back into his erected member. He digs his nails into your hip and you writhe underneath him because of the stinging sensation that makes your body shudder. You lift your ass wantonly and accidentally graze his dick with your soaking wet cunt. 

“Can you fucking stay still, fuck…,” he pleads through clenched teeth. 

“Can you fucking get inside already?!” you start grinding him with your ass to get him going and then he shoves his cock inside you, freezing for a moment to calm down his throbbing member. 

Your tight entrance swallows his entire length and his body goes all tense. You cry out his name, begging for more. He takes a couple of deep breaths and then begins moving in a steady rhythm. After a while, he slides all out and rams back in, barely being able to contain a throaty moan building up inside him. He repeats the rough movement a couple of times, making you feel light-headed. Once again there is that burning sensation inside your belly, and then suddenly, the grip on your hips becomes even more desperate, bruising them and causing you a bit of pain. 

“Ahh… How can you be so tight? Dammit,” he questions in a weak voice.

 His dick relentlessly pounding into you, hitting the right spot each and every time. The sounds of his hips slamming into your heat and your lewd moans fill the room, making you lose yourself completely. He rotates his hips a little and then rams back in, and you almost hit the wall with your head. 

He growls low in his throat, “Baby doll, I’m gonna cum soon, and you’re going to cum with me.” 

Your body twitches uncontrollably, you would come anyway… It’s not like he has to make any special effort. Your legs are not far from giving out and your vision is blurry. The only thing that you need now is to feel his cum filling your pussy. 

Suddenly, he pleads, “Y/N, please look at me. Please, I need to see your face,” the grip around your waist makes your skin burn, you can already tell how fucking bruised you will be tomorrow. 

You look behind, gazing into his unbelievably handsome face. A drop of sweat pours down his forehead, his cheeks are flushed and lips swollen. “Son of a bitch,” you curse him mentally but you can’t help staring at him. 

He smiles fondly and suddenly begs once again, “Baby doll, give me your hand, I want to touch you, ahh.” 

“Yoongi, mhm…,” you squeak, reaching to his extended arm. 

He holds your hand tightly and with a couple of rough thrusts your pussy starts clenching around his dick, the waves of pleasure run through your body. Yoongi moans a mixture of curse words and your name when he rides out his orgasm, cumming into you. He loses his pace, being totally lost and pounds into you erratically, never letting go of your hand. When both of you come down from your high, he gently pulls out his now limp cock from your cunt and embraces you, both of you sinking to your knees. He sits down on the floor and lets you collapse on him, positioning you between his thighs. He strokes your back helping you to relax after this roller-coaster of emotions. His cum drips down your leg and your body shudders. You’re so tired your eyes involuntarily close on their own. 

The last thing you hear before drifting off in his arms is his soft whisper, “Baby doll, you’re only mine.”

Realizations

           The first thing Jason realizes once he gets Tim out of his clothes is just how fucking small he is. His hands are on the boy’s hips and he can almost stretch them around his entire waist. And yea, he’s got big hands, but what the fuck? How does Bruce even let Tim out of the house, much less on patrol? Jason suddenly has the strongest urge to keep Tim locked away in his safe house for an immeasurable amount of time like it’s some ivory tower where nothing can ever hurt him and Jason is the big mean dragon hell bent on protecting him.

           It’s a ridiculous thought to have, because if anyone knows first hand just how well Tim can protect himself it’s Jason. Barely a week ago he’d had his head slammed into a wall a bit too hard for even his helmet to take, and he’d been able to do nothing but watch as Tim took down six mobsters twice his size with an empty utility belt and a butt-load of determination. It had been one of the hottest things Jason had ever seen, and if he hadn’t been suffering from a severe concussion at the time he probably would have kissed Tim. (He did get to kiss him later, at least, when Tim was laying with him in his sickbed at the manor after getting Alfred to patch him up. It had even made him a little less salty about Tim having taken him back to the Wayne center of operations).

           But shit, the kid has to only weigh about a hundred pounds. To test the theory Jason picks him up and throws him onto the bed of this month’s safe house. Tim looks taken aback for a very brief moment before his eyes become hooded and focus directly on Jason. He practically purrs, reaching out for the other man, and shit, the nerd liked it. Well, with how easy he is to toss around there’s certainly more where that came from.

           Jason climbs on top of him, pressing Tim’s petit body into the mattress with his weight and keeping him trapped there. He could just keep him like this forever, completely shielded from the world, warm and pliant in his arms. Well, until the next time some little old lady needs help crossing the street and Tim feels obligated to rush out and do the world some good, but hey, a man can dream.

Keep reading

For those of you who write military fics

If you have never been in, or aren’t around people who’ve been in, I would dearly love to give you a few pointers.

Let me preface this: I love it when people write military fics (be they AU or canon-fic). I love the characterizations, the story arcs you create, and the love with which you create the stories.

But I’d like to help you make the actions of military personnel as accurate as possible, so someone who’s actually in doesn’t start to read your fic and roll their eyes at some of the things you unknowingly write.


-First off, you do not salute in civilian clothes. It’s actually unauthorized. There are only two exceptions to this rule: the President is allowed to salute in civvies, and if the national anthem is playing outdoors, combat veterans are now allowed to salute. (That came about in 2010, for accurate reference.)

-Do not salute indoors, unless during a formation (but I doubt people who don’t have intimate knowledge of drill and ceremony would bother writing about a formation, so that point is mostly just thrown in for shits and giggles). 

-The army and air force do not say, “sir, yes sir”. That’s a marine thing (I’m not sure about the navy, since I’m not in the navy, but I’m sure someone else could help out if there’s a question about it).

-Saying “black ops” isn’t really something we do. For the army, you’ve got SF (which is how we refer to special forces–the guys you’re probably thinking about (”green beret” is an old term for them that’s not really used anymore)) and Rangers for the two big special operations forces. SEALS are the navy force, and I apologize, but I don’t know the other branches’ special forces. Again, ask someone who’s served in that branch.

-People don’t usually refer to themselves (or others) by their ranks. Exceptions are usually made if hanging out with people from your unit speaking about a superior, such as “Yeah, LT and I were talking the other day and …”. 

-Sergeants are not referred to as “sarge”. You have no idea how many people got the shit smoked out of them in basic for that error.

-Army goes through Basic Training (or Basic Combat Training now; BCT for short), and marines go through Boot Camp. Yes, there is definitely a difference in terms. Army people tend to refer to their initial training as simply “basic”. I don’t know about marines or other branches.

-Calling someone “Soldier” is really something only done on TV/film. It’s usually mocked by people who are in.

-In the army, it is against regulation to just stick your hands in your pockets. We mockingly call them “Air Force gloves”, though I don’t know if they typically put their hands in their pockets. There is also a big stigma against wearing “snivel gear”: the poly pro cold-weather protection gear worn underneath your uniform.

-The everyday Army uniforms are called ACUs (Army Combat Uniform). They are never called anything else, but especially not fatigues. If you’re going back to 2003 or earlier, the uniform was BDUs, or the Battle Dress Uniform. The tan uniforms worn during the Gulf War and first few years of Operation Iraqi Freedom (OIF) and Operation Enduring Freedom (OEF; Afghanistan) were called first chocolate chips (gulf war-era) and then DCUs (Desert Combat Uniform). 

-The dress uniform is called something different depending on what time period you’re going for. Saying “dress uniform” is usually a good bet, because you’ve also got Class A’s, Class B’s, ASUs, Dress Blues, Khakis, etc. 

-Typically when meeting someone else who’s in, the first things you ask are, “What’s your MOS (military occupational specialty–your job)? Where were you stationed?” Giving out rank and deployment backgrounds out of the blue don’t usually happen. 

-Time spent in the military is usually referred to as simply being “in”. “How long were you in for?” is heard way more often than “how long did you serve for?” That question is usually asked by civilians. 

-There are enlisted, and there are officers. Enlisted are those who start out as privates, work their way up through the NCO, or non-commissioned officer ranks: sergeant (called “buck sergeant” in a derogatory term for someone who has been freshly promoted), staff sergeant, sergeant first class, and eventually get to first sergeants and sergeants major after fifteen to thirty years in. Officers also usually start out as privates and specialists, then graduate from college and commission as second lieutenants (the derogatory term is “butter bar” and is usually used in reference to said officer’s lack of experience and knowledge) before working up to first lieutenant, captain, major, lieutenant colonel (”light colonel”), and colonel (”full bird”). The general timeline is making captain (”getting your railroad tracks”) after about 5-8 years for competent officers, and spending 5-10 years as a captain. 

-We do not stand at parade rest unless forced. Ever.

-Or at attention.

-When talking to an NCO, a lower enlisted will stand at parade rest. When talking to an officer, an enlisted will stand at attention.

-The highest ranking NCO is lower ranking than the lowest ranking officer. 

-If you want to throw in some humor, if there is a lower enlisted (E-4 (specialist) or below) joking with an NCO, and the lower enlisted says something, the NCO can snark back with, “I’m sorry, I didn’t hear you because you weren’t standing at the position of parade rest.” It’s a dick move usually to call people out for that, but it happens often enough that if you put that in a fic, someone who’s in will likely laugh at that for a few minutes.

-There is a term for a slacker in the army called POG (pronounced “pohg” with a long o). It stands for Personnel Other than Grunt, meaning everyone who’s not infantry. The term has transformed to mean anyone who shirks their duty or is kind of a shitbag and should be kicked out. 

 -There’s also a bit of a stereotype that infantry are made up of dumb guys, because you don’t need a high GT score to get that MOS. Their nomenclature for their MOS is 11B (eleven bravo), which is often referred to as an “eleven bang-bang” when trying to insult them. 

-If someone is making someone else do push-ups, they do not say “drop and give me x number”. They’ll tell them either to push, or tell them to get in the front-leaning rest. The front-leaning rest position is the starting position for the push-up. 

-Usually referring to basic training and AIT (advanced individual training, where you learn your military occupational specialty), you get “smoked” on a regular basis. This refers to PT (physical training), usually in the form of push-ups, flutter kicks, and sprints. It’s not fun. One of the least favorite phrases to hear in basic is, “Platoon, attention! Half-left face! Front leaning rest position, move. In cadence! Exercise!” Because that is the full command for getting people to do push-ups. There is literally no other reason for the half-left face movement. It honestly exists only for push-ups.

-It is awkward as fuck to be told “thank you for your service”. It’s wonderful that people want to show their support, but it is very difficult to respond to that without sounding like a douche.

I know I said a lot about basic training in there, but that’s because I tend to read a lot of fics that are either about basic or about deployments. I can give some pretty firm answers on basic, but everyone’s deployment is different, and I also could be violating a shit-ton of OPSEC (operation security) by telling you guys specific details about deployments. Everything I’ve told you is information you can look up on your own on the internet, but this is a bit more insider’s culture for you to help make your stuff more accurate.

And if you ever find yourself writing a military fic and have questions, by all means, inbox me. I’ve been in for almost nine years and I do have one deployment under my belt, so I can give you accurate army info. I’ve never served in any other branch, though, but I can probably give you a little bit more accurate info than what the movies do if you’ve got general questions.

Also, if you’ve got questions about PTSD, I can help with that. It’s not the cake walk that a good deal of fics portray it as, and it doesn’t always involve nightmares and aversion to touch. It can present as depression, intense anger issues, pulling away from loved ones, driving in the middle of the road, freaking out over pops, bangs, crashes and other unexpected noises, being easily startled by things other than noises, hypervigilance, the inability to sit with one’s back to the room, sudden bouts of anger, depression, tears, silence, or mood swings, among many others.

-Also, please, please, if you’re going to write about someone with a disability, or something that gave them a medical discharge, talk to me about the VA first, unless you’ve got a lot of knowledge about them. Not only am I in, but I’ve also worked professionally for the VA, some of that time in enrollment and eligibility, so I know a lot about disability pensions, who would qualify, what type of benefits they would qualify for, etc. I also know the ways that people can accidentally get screwed over from the VA. (It’s actually one of my long-term professional goals to change some of those things, so I am very passionate and very knowledgeable about it.)



TL;DR: I know shit about the military and the VA. Ask me if you have accuracy questions.

anonymous asked:

That video was so soft tho in my opinion, I love how they talked about dan and kept adrressing him as if he were their own child. They also made a few random comments here and there that really made me think about their relationship and their future. I'd love to hear your thoughts, you are way better at articulating things! :D

YES dude (though idk about me being better this summary is SPOT ON!!!!) lots of cute moments and parenting insights in this. i loved it!!!!! i’m just gonna copy paste my running commentary while i watched hahah :)

  • ok right off the bat I’m just. laughing. dan’s words in the intro are so confusing hahaha. “‘won’t somebody please think of the children?’ we’re not. too late for all of you.” ……… what? i mean i think they’re referencing this clip from the simpsons and i think dan is trying to say they’re not ‘thinking of us,’ like to make a joke that they’re inconsiderate or that their content is bad (in the way he always does when he’s like ‘i’m so sorry this is a complete disaster,’) but instead he just sounds very much like he’s saying he and phil aren’t thinking of ‘children’ right now, like not thinking of having children right now esp bc he mumbles the ‘too late for all of you’ bit so it was all jst very jarring and i began this video w heart racing and eyes wide, ready to ~pick up on anything~ and for daniel howell and his dumb way of speaking to always keep me on my toes ugh what a mess
  • regardless. phil sassing dan at the beginning for talking over him,,,, yes. ‘i’m trying to do an intro! let me finish!’ the sweetest words in the english language
  • dan’s summary of toddlers: they run around, they get very angry, and they slowly learn to poop
  • musings on the audience: we’re ‘ready to pick up on anything’ and we ‘can see it all’ love this self-aware, multi-layered, meta humor, kings of comedy
  • 1:47 dan saying ‘how many years would you have to use a toilet and not clean it,’ made me confront the reality that dan cleans toilets at least once in a while. stars! they’re just like us
  • ‘dil get your hand down that u-bend stat’ is honestly so funny. phil’s giggle when dan is ‘not particularly comfortable’ is so cute
  • their sharing in a bit of nostalgia for their daycare memories and bonding over the similarity of their experiences. stop. i love how dan knows the distance from wokingham to manchester off the top of his head and characterizes their age gap as ‘a couple of years.’ i feel queasy
  • dil is werrrrqing it according to dan. he is also party miami dad
  • phil acknowledging the existence of the ripped jeans and envisioning them turning into ripped shorts. didn’t know i needed that. very into it
  • dan committing to wearing a crop top in the event that he ever has abs. can phil please tell him to stick to his guns about subverting society’s standards for male beauty and to therefore go ahead and rock a crop top regardless of his abdominal musculature, if that’s what he wants??? ?
  • phil actually hates the crop top and shorts. dan says it’s amazing and starts to criticize phil (‘phil stop be—‘ in his typical higher-pitched tone of indignation) but then gets thoroughly distracted by dil doing crunches lmao
  • this might be really weird but I’m obsessed w watching the way phil uses his hands when he gets excited. just like. watch his hands from 4:38 to 5:15 it’s the most heartwarming thing u will likely ever see. i think in this vid in particular he was even more expressive than usual and i noticed he clasped his hands near his chin or grabbed his own face a number of times and it was so cute. phil lester, actual king of gesticulation. i always wonder if this tendency is natural for him or something that he kind of forces in order to sort of appear more animated/performance-y when he’s filming (cause something about it sort of feels like a nervous tic at times!!! but idk!!!! body language experts, weigh in!!!)
  • 5:37 dan is confused then starts singing along and they make weird noises i have no idea what they’re referencing and i have never hated their connection more. i feel so left out
  • dan’s idea of a school-aged child is obsession w playstation and pokemon
  • dab is sprinting maniacally and in my current state of mind i find it fucking hilarious
  • dan has mentioned dil’s abs like 10 times in  7 mins
  • i like how they both immediately agree w no discussion that creativity is the most desirable trait of those options
  • also cheerful. dan says ‘i like cheerful’ and fuck I’m soft
  • dan is genuinely emotional about child dab which is so cute
  • i love how actually disappointed phil is that this child’s fav animal is a frog and how dan immediately comes to his defense. this feels like eerily realistic insight into a situation dnp would def get into with their child
  • ‘easy beans’ phil owns my heart
  • they buy dab an art table thing and phil says ’we need to make him the most creative child possible.’ i love that with minimal discussion they immediately want to get stuff for dab to encourage his talents it reminds me of dan ranting about what makes a good parent (someone who equips their child to pursue their passions)
  • dan says he needs to be connected to the internet and phil hesitates bc he’s so young and dan is immediately outraged. and then phil immediately caves. this also felt so insightful to me, like we were watching them kind of talk out their real life approach to parenting and exposing their child to technology 
  • 16:01 their enthusiasm about dab’s drawing like y’all i know this is a sim but they’re rly treating it like a real kid and it’s just too vividly mirroring how they would obviously react to their real child’s first ever drawing and I’m emotional
  • phil immediately suggests hanging it up and they both have a long awwwwwww aiwejroaiejroaier this is Too Much
  • omg the exchange at 16:54 about cake made me wanna die i feel like first off it is v rare to hear phil call dan by his name in videos (other than when he’s exasperated and yells ‘dan!!!!’ as an interjection bc dan is being a shit) so it immediately just felt like a more personal moment and then the way that dan was like ofc we can and must cater to ur random craving and order cake delivery immediately after filming like he just rolls w it and it’s just such a spontaneous and sweet little moment and godddddd they def curled up and ate cake after they were done w the video, on their new couch, in their new fancy lounge, in their new home, bc they can just do that. fucking hell their domestic bliss is giving me so much envy my heart physically ACHES with it
  • ‘baking a cake in your bikini that’s quite iconic’ phil is just out here empowering women to love themselves
  • then dan butting in with ‘what a milf’ nice, it’s been forever since he’s been that explicit about female attraction i was shook. i like that he immediately asks if he’s allowed to say it and phil immediately shuts him down. i mean there’s a slight chance that’s just for comedic value but it feels sort of in line w the notion that they (esp dan) have consciously toned down and all but eliminated female attraction mentions (or sexualization) from their dialogue in videos bc they’re aware of their mostly female audience (this speculation aside in all honesty why is eliza’s bod low-key bangin)
  • 18:16 when dan is like walking thru his vision for dab as the social arty kid and evan as the shy genius he is literally writing fic in his head idk why he’s even tryna make fun of tumblr’s interest in this ship he’s the biggest stan out there all of the dab x evan entries on wattpad will be by dan under various pseudonyms
  • para-BOWL-uhs is this how brits say parabola or is dan just terrible
  • 19:54 dan wants them to hook up confirmt

lol fuck this video was good and dnp are going to be fucking amazing dads idec that’s the only conclusion from this video that matters

(sims #39)

Delta (Bucky Barnes x Reader) Pt. 10 ❤️

-A/N: I’M SO SORRY FOR THE WAIT BB’S!! I HOPE YOU LIKE THIS ONE! i made it extra smutty! (; ENJOY! - Delilah ❤️  




You stared at yourself in the mirror, running your eyes over your current outfit.

The summer dress you wore hugged your curves perfectly, especially around your tummy. You tugged at the material, trying to see how far it would stretch before letting it go against your skin. You usually did that nowadays; trying to get an idea when you’d eventually have to stop wearing it. Bucky had bought you this dress and you loved it with a passion.

The sound of a knock on your door broke your thoughts. With a smile, you turned around to be greeted with an excited Pepper, who held your jacket in her hands.

“It’s gonna get a bit chilly tonight,” she squealed, slipping it over your shoulders.

You giggled, moving your hair to the side as she did so. You turned around, holding out your arms so that she got a view of your outfit. “Do I look okay?” you asked, looking down at your dress.

Pepper placed her hands on her hips, a small impressed smile on her cherry red lips.

“You look amazing, Y/N. Bucky’s gonna be blown away.”

Now that you and Bucky had the waiver out of the way, you could focus on the baby that was growing inside you. After many days spent contemplating on your future, you decided that you did in fact want a future with Bucky by your side. You wanted him to be your alpha. He practically cried when you told him that you wanted to bond with him.

But, you wanted to do it the right way.

It wasn’t traditional by any means, you knew that. Even though you were pretty much going backwards, you both decided to take it slow, which meant doing things people in relationships did. Like go on dates, watch movies together, all that stuff.

And Bucky, being the 40’s gentleman he was, was more than okay with that. He practically jumped at the opportunity to take you on your first date.

That’s how you needed up spending hours on your hair, makeup and outfit. You wanted to look good for your alpha, meaning you’d put in the largest amount of effort possible.

You had no idea where he was taking you.

You honestly had never been courted before, as you would never let any other people anywhere near you. But now, you had found your other half and you wanted to be as perfect as possible.


Bucky stood in the lobby of the tower, nervously waiting for you to arrive. He stared down at the bouquet of roses in his hand.

Man, this was so much different from the last time he did this. In the past, he was hardly ever nervous about the omegas he courted. Well, he didn’t really court them, he just slept with them for a night and then disappeared. That sounded so bad from that point of view.

It should’ve been easy for him. After all, he’s been on countless dates. But for some reason, he felt like he needed to impress you -which is something he hardly did with the other girls he took out.

He was your alpha and he felt the intense feeling to provide for you and give you countless amounts of attention. He felt it the day he met you and it had only gotten stronger.

He wanted you happy and he was willing to do anything to make sure you were.

“Bucky?”

He spun around, ready to give you the roses, but as soon as his eyes landed on you, his eyes widened.

You looked so damn beautiful.

When his eyes landed on your tummy, taking in the sight of the woman of his dreams carrying his pup, he felt his heart swell. The dress he bought you enhanced every little curve on your body.

“Jesus, doll…” he gawked, taking in your being. There was no way he was going to be able to get through dinner without at least needing a uh…bathroom break once or twice. You just had that effect on him.

You blushed, pulling a stray piece of hair behind your ear. You weren’t used to components, especially from the opposite sex. And Bucky, being the insanely handsome alpha he was, was like getting complimented from a celebrity.

A really sexy celebrity who you’ve been lusting after since middle school.

“Hi,” you giggled, awkwardly fumbling with your hands. Bucky bent down and placed a kiss onto your lips.

And god damn, did that intensify everything.

When you closed your eyes, you immediately felt a slight heat rising in your chest. Your legs began to shake and you went a bit lightheaded.  You dismissed it as heartburn.

When you pulled away, it suddenly stopped. You peered up at Bucky, who stared down at you with a matching confused expression.

“We should get going!” He chimed, wrapping his arm around yours and guiding you to the lobby doors. You could tell he was trying to ignore what had just accused, but…you felt something back there. You didn’t know what, but you did.

And you wanted to know what it was.


“Have you thought of any names yet?” Bucky asked you as he took a sip of his wine, his eyes never leaving yours.

You totally hadn’t thought about that.

The baby was going to be due in no less than four months now and you had yet to pick a name. You always had trouble picking things out or simply making decisions; it must’ve been your Delta nature. After all, deltas weren’t the most efficient when it came to make decisions.

But you wanted to pick the name. At least one of them.

“What about…Jane?” He asked, sensing your inner conflict. He raised his eyebrows, searching your face for any signs you liked the name.

You crinkled your nose and shook your head.

“What about Lana?” You asked, a small hopeful smile on your lips. It was a pretty name.

Bucky let out a small snort, causing you to raise an eyebrow. Was it that bad?

“Uh….I don’t know about that one, doll.” You frowned.

“Why not?”

“Spell Lana backwards.”

Instantly, your face broke out into an embarrassed blush. Oh god, your poor baby would be a target for bullying if you named her that.

“Have you thought of any, alpha?” You asked. When he didn’t answer, you raised your eyes to give him a smile. Instead of getting one back, you were met with Bucky’s lustful blue eyes staring back at you.

He cleared his throat before taking another sip of wine.

“Isabel?” He offered. You couldn’t help the grin that grew into your lips.

“Isabel Barnes,” you spoke. Bucky’s eyes lit up when you said that. “I like how it sounds.”

You thought back to what your brother told you before he left. If it was true, you’d have little Isabel running around here in just a few short months. But for some reason…you didn’t feel so sure.

“And what if it’s a boy?” You ask, placing your elbows on the table and resting your chin on your hands. You were eager to hear him say anything, as dumb as that sounded. Just the sound of your alpha’s voice made your heart flutter.

“If it’s a boy…” he began. “I think you ought pick, doll.” Your eyes widened a bit. An alpha letting a delta name their pup? That was completely unheard of.

You thought for a while. There were so many darn names to choose from. You thought about the name Grant, after Steve’s father, but that just didn’t fit. You even thought of naming your son after Tony, but considering Bucky and his past, that was a major no-no. Hell, you even considered Peter.

“I like Noah!” You exclaimed.

“Noah.” Bucky spoke, a small smile on his lips. “I like that.”

“His middle name has to be James, though.” You blushed. Bucky let out a breathy chuckle.

He reached for your hand, running his metal fingers along the soft flesh lightly. That immediately sent shivers down your spine and you were instantly damp between your legs.

“We’re gonna take this slow okay, doll?” He assured, his blue eyes searching yours for any doubt.

“Mhm,” you nodded, biting your lip as you watched him drag his tongue along his bottom lip. You knew he wasn’t doing it on purpose, but Jesus, it was doing so many things to you.

He immediately inhaled sharply, catching the scent of your pheromones. His eyes dilated slightly, just for a second before he shook his head, regaining his composure.

“Damn, sugar,” he let out a breathy laugh. “This is gonna be really hard for me.”

“I know, alpha,” you squeezed his hand. “but we can do this. I know we can.”

Bucky nodded, pressing a small kiss to your hand.

“One step at a time, right?” You smiled, giving him a nod.

“One step at a time.”


You let out a scream as Bucky shook his head rapidly, his tongue creating an amazing sensation onto your clit. That was all it took for him to bring you over the edge once again. This was the third orgasm he’d given you tonight, and you hoped he wouldn’t stop.

So much for taking it slow, right?

Bucky crawled up your body, crashing his mouth onto yours. He placed his hand on your jaw, forcing it open so that his tongue could explore your mouth.

You let out a small whimper, feeling his tongue dominate yours. And you completely let him. You felt Bucky pull away from you and gently flip you onto his back with you straddling his body.

“Fuck, doll,” he groaned, taking in the sight of you completely naked and straddling him. The sight of your barely swollen tummy only tummy only turned him on more.

“Bucky,” you whimpered, slowly grinding your core onto his thigh. You threw your head back, savoring the sweet sensation. It’s been forever since you first had sex with Bucky and you were craving him.

“You wanna ride me, sugar?” He growled, his voice falling deeper with each word. “You wanna make me your alpha?”

You nodded, grinding down harder. You wanted that so bad. Lifting yourself up, you grabbed ahold of his thick length and positioned it at your entrance. You gently ran the tip of it along your dripping folds, circling his head on your clit.

Bucky let out a small groan and ran his hands along your hips, gripping them harshly with this fingers.

“Please, Y/N,” he begged, bucking his hips upwards. The head of his cock pressed against your clit in such a delicious way, you couldn’t help but moan.

You placed your hands on his chest and lowered yourself onto his length. Bucky’s head fell back onto the pillows, his eyes screwed shut. You could see the small veins in his neck as he tried to keep from thrusting into you.

You gave an experimental bounce of your hips, moving them in small circles. Bucky was so big, you could feel every inch of him stretching your walls, the tip of his cock nudging your cervix. You moved faster, grinding your hips onto his.

“F-Fuck, Y/N.” he gasped, his hands travelling behind you to the soft flesh of your behind and kneading it harshly. “You drive me so fucking crazy.”

The mechanical sounds of his metal arm as it flexed added onto the arousal between your legs. You couldn’t wait until Bucky was comfortable to finger fuck you. Shifting so that your knees were better placed on the bed, you began swirling your hips in a figure 8.

“Oh, alpha.” You moaned, removing your hands from his chest and placing them onto your breasts. You pinched your nipples softly, rolling them with your thumb.

“Fuck me, Y/N,” he groaned, his fingers kneading your ass harder. “that’s what you want, right? You wanna make me yours?” 

Those last few words awoken something inside you. You didn’t have a single dominant bone in your body, but you had the burning urge to claim him; Bucky was yours and nobody else could have him. 

You had no idea where this newfound courage came from, but all coyness left you. Your right hand shot out and wrapped around Bucky’s throat, squeezing it harshly. You immediately expected him to give you a warning, or at least some kind of growl, but instead you were welcomed with the hottest thing on this planet. 

Bucky whimpered. 

He trusted upwards into your heat, letting you know that he was still the alpha in this, but you were in complete control of him. 

He was your bitch now. 

And you were never going to let him forget that.

You tightened your grip around his throat, digging your nails into the flesh softly as you bounced onto his throbbing cock. You placed your left hand on his chest and dug your nails into the flesh harshly, dragging them down his body. The marks created angry little red lines, but he didn’t seem to mind. In fact, it only turned him on even more. 

“Ah, baby I’m so fucking close,” he gasped, his eyes fluttering shut. He placed his hands onto your hips again and began thrusting into your throbbing pussy. The sounds of his skin against yours, along with the slick running down your thighs was the only thing you heard, along with Bucky’s whimpers of pleasure. 

“Please come inside me, alpha!” you mewled, feeling his cock nudge against your sweet spot repeatedly. 

In one move, Bucky sat up and flipped you both over. He gave you a quick, passionate kiss before placing his metal hand onto your shoulder and moving you so that you were positioned on your hands and knees. He placed his hand on your lower back, gently pressing downwards.Taking the hint, you arched your back, sticking your ass out for him. 

“P-please, James,” you moaned, reaching behind you and placing your hand on his. “Please make me come.”

The Russian swear he let out was barely audible, but you could feel the tip of his cock gently pressing into your folds, stretching your walls. You gasped, grasping hold of his hand tighter as his hips snapped forward into you. 

Bucky’s pace was almost brutal as he fucked your pulsing pussy. You could feel him hitting your g spot over and over, making you scream. Each time he bottomed out, he let out a groan, and you loved every second of it. 

You felt the familiar feeling of your orgasm building. You began clenching around his cock, milking it with each thrust. 

“Тебе это нравится, принцесса?” he groaned, thrusting harder into you. 

“Я так его обожаю, папочка!” you replied, much to his surprise. 

With one final thrust, your orgasm hit you at full force. You let out a blood curling scream as his cock fucked into you mercilessly. Bucky’s thrusts became sloppy, full of unrelenting force as he chased his orgasm. 

Before you could think, you felt his hand wrap around your throat, pulling you backwards. You gasped as he pulled you back harshly and onto your knees. Y

That’s when you felt it. 

The warmth in your chest, the lightheaded feeling and the shaking of your legs. It was right in front of you, but you just couldn’t understand. Bucky sunk his teeth into the warm flesh of your neck. It should’ve hurt, you knew that, but whether it be from the mind numbing orgasm, you felt the most intense pleasure.

Your eyes shut completely as Bucky spilled his come inside you, painting your walls. You clenched around him once again, wanting every single of it. 


You lay your head on Bucky’s chest, huffing softly as you fought to catch your breath. That was by far the most amazing experience you’d ever had. You just hoped he felt the same. 

“Did I hurt you?” his voice was soft, barely above a whisper. If you hadn’t have caught your breath by now, you wouldn’t have heard it. You peered up at your alpha, your eyes wide. 

“N-No!” you stuttered. “I feel great. A little sore, but I loved every minute of it.” 

His eyes flickered to you, searching for any signs of discomfort. You gave him a small reassuring smile. That’s all it took. He gave you a dorky grin, pressing a tender kiss onto your forehead. 

I love her so much 

Your eyes instantly snapped open. You looked up at Bucky, completely flabbergasted. 

“Y-You love me?” You squeaked. Bucky peered down at you with an equally confused expression. 

“I didn’t say anythi- wait what?”

Is he okay?

Bucky sat up, the sheets falling to his waist in the process. He heard you, he was a hundred percent sure…but you hadn’t opened your mouth. 

“Bucky…” you whispered, your eyes filled with tears. You were sure of it now, no a hundred percent. “Did we…?”

Bucky smiled softly, cupping your cheek with his metal hand. “We did it, doll.” 

“We’re one now.”


-FIN!


THEY FINALLY DID IT!!!

Tag list of super awesome people! 

@sebbylover24 @ifoundlove-x0vanessa0x @ballerinafairyprincess @ifoundlove-x0vanessa0x @amrita31199 @harrisbn @gingerbatchwife @abigailredgrave @97britt @vivianbabz @inumorph @adrianabribiescacortes @thelostswan @c-maximoffs @calicokitkat @vibraniumdoll @sebsat-an @diana-daydreamer @phoenix21love @demonictufteddeer @babbt @livforthegames @kaykayvoltage53 @kerzenphilosophie @space-wine-and-donuts @twinklingstarlight @callmeoncette @r3stl3ss-minds @mrssgtjamesbuckybarnes @killer-stiles @shell7609 @softwintersoldier @saffreelove @koolok1996 @bad-wolf87 @allinhishands @svetlanaabril @buckbuckboobear @redroomproperty @i-write-tragedies-and-sins @melconnor2007 @kaitskennedyy @sammyissassy @dracu-ma-bucky @astralbarnes @shieldagentofthemonth @witheringblooddemon @jenna-luke @confuzzled-panda @bellaballanda @38leticia @davinaciaire @xxchexchickxx @marvel-fanfiction @ anditcametopass 

“Rum & Coconuts” - h.s Part 3

Part 1 / Part 2

—–

—–

You woke up to the feeling of the breeze blowing over your body and stretched out on the bed to find yourself alone. Sitting up and fighting your hair out of your face, you could see the top of Harry’s head over the back of one of the lounge chairs on your small deck through one of the blowing curtains. 

Pulling on a tank top over your thong, you meandered in his direction and walked around the seat to see him sitting with his legs crossed, swim trunks on, and sunglasses perched on his nose. When he noticed you, he smiled widely and closed his journal, tossing it onto the chair beside him and reaching his arms out as you sunk down next to him and curled up at his side.

“Good morning angel,” he mumbled against your hair, wrapped his arms around you as you both watched the sun continue to rise. “Sleep well?”

“I drank a lot last night,” you mumbled.

“You did,” Harry chuckled, “But you had a great time and learned many new dance moves.”

You both sat there quiet as Harry ran his fingers through your hair and you played with the end of his swim trunks, just watching as the sun shone brightly from behind your sunglasses. 

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bad | 03

 he was the cliché bad boy. he was the guy you couldn’t stand. he was the handsome, hot kid who made girls go weak in the knees. he was a brat. you had never liked him one bit, but you had also never gotten involved with anything concerning him. until one day, when you were in the wrong place, at the wrong time.

Originally posted by sugutie

TITLE: bad | 03

MEMBER: jeon jungkook x reader

GENRE: romance, smutish, fluff

WORDS: 2 856

WARNINGS: badboy!jungkook, cussing, mature

01 | 02 | 03 | 04 | 05 | 06 | 07coming soon ↠ 

A/N: I enjoy writing this, so the fact that you guys like it makes me so happy. thank you to everyone who sent a nice message, it means so much

masterlist

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Word for Word (M)

Originally posted by jeonbase

“Less talking. More fucking. Yeah?”

Part 1 | Part 2

3.4k, smut, jungkook/reader, friends with benefits au (+ college + fuckboy)


Jeon Jungkook is a fuckboy through and through. If you look at all his social media photos, all you see are countless images of him sandwiched between two girls, his muscular arms wrapped around their shoulders. Two different girls in each picture, never the same. Most of the photos are dark, dimly lit party scenes with the flash in their eyes, but sometimes there are filter-saturated beach pictures in which Jungkook’s shirtless and hugging girls in bikinis.

(Quite frankly, at times you weren’t really sure who to be jealous of: Jungkook or the girls. Both looked really fucking good. But it’s not like you were really Instagram stalking him and actually cared about his pictures or anything. Totally not.)

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My Life

Originally posted by milesheizerstuff


Pairing: Alex Standall x Reader

Request: “22 & 5 + alex standall (female reader)”

Prompt:

22. “Do you think she’s angry?”
5. “Why, all of the sudden, you are this interested in my life?”

Word count: 1.353

Posted: 10th of May 2017

A/N: (I AM A DUMB ASS, BECAUSE I ACCIDENTALLY DELETED THE REAL POST AND I AM JUST REPOSTING IT!) Another prompt request! This is sad, but this happened to me too, maybe not exactly in that way but I felt the sad feeling. It sucked. I hope that no one of you suffers in that way, but, if ever, my asks are always open.
Thank you for requesting and I hope that you enjoy reading it. Thank you so much.

P.S: I’m not accepting part 2 requests of the prompt because I have a lot to write and I like leaving the readers in their curiosity of what might happen next. I’m sorry and you can always request something from the prompt list, link down below. Thank you.

- G. x

Link: Prompt list

Warning: maybe angst and surely swearing.


“Jesus Christ, stop skipping your classes and stop sleeping late!” Alex angrily exclaimed as he noticed that you were sitting on your usual place at Monet’s alone. You moved your gaze to where Alex was and you saw him standing with his arms crossed in front of you, together with his actual girlfriend, the famous Jessica Davis.

“What the hell do you want, Alex?” You rolled your eyes as you didn’t want to be bothered during that exact moment. You decided to skip your classes as you needed to release some negative vibes from your mind, but then they were there to accompany you, trying to socialize with you.

“Pardon me?” The platinum blonde-haired boy sat on the empty seat across yours and he invited Jessica to sit beside him, holding her hands tightly and you carefully observed their hands intertwining, one of the things that broke your heart even more. “What the fuck is happening to you?”

“Uhm,” You corrugated your forehead as anger took your emotions. “it’s none of your fucking business.” You coldly answered, not minding Jessica’s judging stares, obviously because of your stubborn answers.

“Tell me what happened?!” Alex raised his voice a little bit. Luckily, there weren’t other people in the place, except for the baristas, because it would be shameful to create a scene in front of the crowd.

“Nothing has happened, okay?” You snapped at him, raising your voice too, and you grabbed your phone, that was on the coffee table, to check some of your social medias. You were obviously trying to shoo them away.

You wanted to avoid his questions, because he was the problem, your very own problem. Alex caused you the problems that you were having during that time and you never hated someone in the way you hated Alex before.

You’ve been good friends with him for months and you loved your relationship with him, because he has always made you laugh and he had the capacity to cheer you up whenever you would feel sad or insecure. You were always with him and only God knew how many secrets you confessed to each other. He was your anchor, you were his ship and to make the long story short: you completed each other.

He showed you nice and sweet gestures and those gestures fucked your life up, because you started to develop some hidden feelings for him, but he was head over heels in love with Jessica, so he never noticed your feelings for him. Unluckily.

You hated him since Jessica came into his life, not because you were jealous, but because you became Alex’s second choice and he was never with you anymore. He left you for his girlfriend and you knew that you couldn’t compete against her, she was the loved one, you were just a good friend.

You admitted to yourself that you felt selfish, because Alex deserved to be happy, even just for once, but you didn’t deserve either to be forgotten or to be left alone. Loneliness was a bitch and it made you feel worse when it started to keep you awake at night. Gloomily.

You were alone and, unluckily, you needed one specific person to fix yourself again, one specific person that you couldn’t have right now.

Do you think she’s angry?” You heard Alex asking Jessica and you shook your head to let your thoughts go. He surely noticed the miffed expression in your face, while you were staring at your phone screen, little fingers sliding through different letters and punctuations.

“As it seems.” Jessica shrugged as she raised her shoulders in response. Alex looked back at you and you accidentally caught his gaze. You fiercely looked at him and you made him notice the anger that you felt inside of you.

“(Y/N),” Alex unleashed a long deep sigh as he tried to talk to you once again. It seemed like he had too much patience in store. “what’s the matter?”

“Amazing,” You were sarcastically dumbfounded for another attempt of talking to you. “I exist for the one and only, Alex Standall.” You nodded as you clapped your hands with class and sass.

“What the hell are you talking about?” Alex raised one of his eyebrow as he asked for explanations. “I just suggested you to stop skipping your classes. I am doing this for your own good.” He debated as he let Jessica’s hand go and he rested his arms on the coffee table.

Why, all of the sudden, you are this interested in my life?” You angrily asked to Alex as you gave him a teary glance. “You’ve been together with Jessica for weeks now and, for weeks, I’ve been alone. Alex, fucking alone! Do you know what does that shit mean? Of course not, because you’ve never been alone in your life!” Your tears started to stream down your face as your cheeks became crimson red for the anger.

“(Y/N).” Jessica pronounced your name in a moderate tone as she tried to calm yourself, but you didn’t mind her. You glanced at Alex and it seemed like he was hit by a truck full of your anger, of your peevishness, of your irascibility, and it left him speechless. Speechless, as in no words came out from his mouth.

“And I can assure you that it fucking sucks.” You murmured as you hiccupped continuously. You fidgeted with your phone, while you observed Alex’s face. You opened his eyes and reality hit him hard.

“(Y/N).” Alex tried to say something, but he couldn’t find the right words. He was shock, because he never meant to hurt you. He never meant to leave you alone.

“It’s fine, don’t bother yourself.” You stood up and grabbed your things from the coffee table. You left some bills to pay for your untouched hot chocolate drink and you started to walk from the couple away.

“(Y/N), wait!” Alex tried to follow you, but he stopped when he saw you shaking your head, as if you were barricading him from yourself. You avoided him, because you knew that you would let yourself in if he ever said his sorry.

“I need no sympathy, Alex.” You shortly said as you wiped the warm tears that stained your smooth and burning hot cheeks.

He unleashed another heavy sigh as he sniffled loudly. You couldn’t see him perfectly, but it was obvious that he was crying too. His blue orbs were watery and he silently cried as he dealt with the pain and the stinging sensation that he felt on his cheeks.

Maybe he realized who he has just lost, maybe it sank in his mind that he lost the great friend that he used to have. He lost his ship and you lost your anchor, you sank and he never realized it. After all, you were just two pieces that fit together, but of two different puzzles. You once completed each other, but you realized your differences and you had to find the perfect piece, the perfect piece that would complete you so you wouldn’t be hurt anymore.

“Standall?” You called his attention, going back to your surname basis. He knew what it perfectly meant when you called him in that way. He looked at you as he wept in the middle of the room. “It’s my life, I understand that you were part of it, but you can’t dictate me what to do or not. Not now, not ever.”

You flashed him a sarcastic and fake wide smile, before you opened the bar’s main door, making the little bell ring. You shot him and Jessica another glance and you pushed yourself out of the door as you decided to leave everything behind, not minding how Alex felt, because he never really cared for what you felt in the past few weeks. He never cared until that moment, that exact moment when he already lost you.

You admitted to yourself that you felt selfish and evil, but he never cared for you and it was the right time to have a little bit of respect for yourself. Gloomily? Yup.


Autopsy Report

You would not believe what kind of shit I’ve pulled out of people.

Hi, I’m Mike. I cut into dead bodies for a living. It’s not exactly the kind of job that gets you laid, but it pays the bills. Anyway. Back to what I was saying. Fucked up shit in dead bodies. The weirdest ‘normal’ thing I’ve pulled out of a person was a hairball out of someone’s stomach. And when I say hairball, I mean it looked like the woman had swallowed a cat. She was a suicide victim. Probably bit into her hair because of anxiety. I get it. My little sister has issues with that sort of thing.

Wow. Off topic again. Clearly I’ve pounded those beers a little faster than I thought. I’m not here to talk about hairballs. No. I’m here to talk about something really weird.

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anonymous asked:

Can you write something where the bros and cor have an S/O who is a bit of an airhead? I'm a little self conscious because people say that I am ㅠ_ㅠ

Hey there Anon :) Of course I can- this one truly hits close to home because I’ve been called an airhead plenty of times as well! (It’s not our fault we get lost in our thoughts at the best of times T.T). I’m going to write these as small scenarios because I need to be in bed really soon xD Hope that’s okay! <3


Noctis: Truthfully, Noctis is a bit of an airhead himself. He’s actually happy that you have the same tendency to get lost in your own thoughts in any given situation- whether it be during your down time, or in the middle of doing something incredibly important. That’s not to say that he doesn’t scold you a little when you zone out during a battle, or any other equally life-threatening situation. When he notices that your eyes are glazed over on the battle field, he usually moves in towards you and pinches you really hard on the tender skin of your inner arm to snap you back to reality. The glare he shoots you as he retreats back into battle upsets you greatly, and you feel absolutely awful every time this happens- but in the heat of the moment, where every second counts, Noctis doesn’t really know how else to snap you out of your thoughts. Nor does he have the time to be gentle in his manner of coaxing you out of your own mind.

Once the imminent danger has passed, Noctis immediately scoops you up into his arms and apologises profusely. He’s usually not one for public displays of affection, but he ignores Gladio and Prompto’s wolf whistles and cat calls in the back ground as he clings to you and gently scolds you about your short attention span. “I love you too much to lose you- please, pay attention next time?” he begs you. You sniffle and snuggle into your concerned and scared prince’s chest and nod vigorously.

“Okay. I’ll do my best.”

A few hours later, you’re scolding Noctis about his own air-headedness after a particularly close call with a bunch of hundlegs, and holding the young prince while Ignis lectures his childhood friend about how unbecoming hypocrisy is of a future king. Meanwhile, Gladio and Prompto cackle in the background.


Prompto: Prompto finds your air-headedness adorable. He loves it when he catches you drifting off into space, your eyes glazing over and your breaths coming out in little sighs every once in a while. This sunshine boy is mostly happy to leave you to your own devices when you get this way, and takes PLENTY of pictures of you in this dazed state. You’re always none the wiser until you and the boys are settled at a camp site or hotel.

Noctis, Gladio, and even Ignis (!) have a good laugh at your far-off expressions caught on Prompto’s camera. You usually get really sensitive about their reactions and snatch your boyfriend’s camera out of his hands. You’re about to delete the pictures when Prompto tackles you down onto the bed your seated on, in view of all the guys, and kisses you silly- gently prying his precious camera out of your grip as you easily get lost in his sudden display of affection.

Prompto finally retracts his body off yours triumphantly, pressing a final lingering kiss on your cheek before placing his camera into one of his deeper pants pockets. “Sorry, I just love it when you look all dazed. You remind me of a sleepy baby chocobo!” Prompto tries to placate you. You sigh and pout, crossing your hands over your chest, and Prompto laughs a little as your gaze grows glazed and distant once again as you get lost in your own thoughts about Prompto’s obsession with your air-headedness.

You don’t even notice the guys’ voices reprimanding Prompto as he pulls his camera out to take a few more adoring shots of you in his favourite dazed state.


Gladio: Gladiolus Amicitia loves to tease you about your air-headedness while you’re all in the Regalia, headed to your next destination. It’s his favourite pass time. You absolutely hate it. He makes you feel so DUMB sometimes, when he reminds you of all the potentially fatal mistakes you’ve made out on the field.

“Hey, remember that time you threw me an ether instead of an antidote? THAT was pretty shocking, even for you!” Gladio laughs light-heartedly, but your eyes begin to brim with tears. You’re wedged between Noctis and Gladio in the back seat, and Ignis has a clear view of you in the rear-view mirror. He’s the first to notice the tears streaming down your face.

“Gladio.” Ignis reprimands. You sniffle particularly loudly, and that’s all it takes for your sometimes-obnoxious boyfriend to immediately turn his body towards you and guide your head to his warm, bare chest. Noctis sighs and merely pats your knee in sympathy- knowing full well how bad it feels to be the butt of Gladio’s jokes. He’s been called ‘puny’ while fishing too many times to count!

“Aw, babe- you know I think it’s cute that you’re such an airhead!” Gladio tries to console you. You whine in annoyance and swat Gladio’s chest, tears of frustration running down your cheeks. Gladio could be a complete ass sometimes… but, that’s something that makes him slightly more adorable in your eyes. His naivety knows no bounds.

“And I think it’s amazing how pig-headed you are!” you retaliate, after calming down a little. Your comment elicits a short, but loud laugh from Ignis. He immediately apologises, but his sudden outburst has both Noctis and Prompto clutching their bellies and laughing at the expense of a rather shocked looking Gladio.

“Hey! I am NOT pig-headed!”


Ignis: Ignis frowns at you as you both leave the Lestallum Leville’s bar together. You and the guys had been indulging in a night of alcohol induced fun during your down time, and the money all of you had saved collectively from the various hunts you’d all completed. Ignis cut himself off at two drinks, ever the responsible one. That, and he wasn’t happy with the way you unknowingly encouraged the less-than-innocent advances of other young men present at the bar that night.

Once you and Ignis are out in the humid night air of Lestallum, you turn to your boyfriend, eyes wide in concern. “Iggy? You don’t look so good- do you need to sit down?” you ask, genuine concern lacing your voice. Ignis’ frown deepens and he immediately rounds on you. You let out a short shriek at his sudden movement, having been semi-lost in your own thoughts about how you were going to take care of your boyfriend’s less-than-ideal looking health that evening.

Ignis grasps your forearms in his large and elegant bare hands, pinning you in place. You let your eyes wander to his piercing green orbs and you can’t help but gulp in slight trepidation. Ignis has never been so rough with you. You couldn’t help but feel both confused and enthralled at the slightly wild behaviour.

“Must you look upon every man with those hooded eyes? Do you even know what you’re doing, y/n?” Ignis chides, his gaze darkening as he leans his face closer to yours. You let out a short breath and shake your head, snapping yourself out of your momentary, yet frequently occurring, daze.

“W-what do you mean?” you stutter. Ignis shakes his head, his gaze softening as he pecks your lips gently with his own. Your eyes remain wide open and unblinking. You’re utterly confused. What is wrong with Ignis? Is he drunk?

“You really don’t have a clue… absolutely charming.” Ignis whispers, pulling you into a tender kiss before withdrawing and gently taking your hand. “I really do have to keep an eye on you if I want to keep you safe from the vultures.”

You just let Ignis drag you along, deciding for yourself in your mind that, yes, Ignis is probably drunk.

He is not.


Cor: When Cor first realises you tend to get lost in your own thoughts, he finds you absolutely infuriating on a professional level- given that you are part of the Crownsguard. But being the professional marshal of the Crownsguard that he is, he’s not going to fire you on your first day simply because you have some attention span issues. That, and you are his romantic partner. He does, however, make sure that all your practical assignments are completed under his exclusive supervision. He really doesn’t want to be liable for your death if you manage to space out during a life-or-death battle out on the field.

During these practical missions, Cor is not your boyfriend, he is your marshal. And he’s terribly harsh when you mess up. He berates you openly in front of your peers, and even they linger around while you try to stop your tears from slipping down your face to cheer you up. “Don’t worry- he’s just worried about you. Next time, pay attention and you won’t have to hear him go off at you again.”

But you can’t help it. Your mind races constantly at every little stimuli you come across. You see a tree, you think they look like giant pieces of broccoli. You see Cor, you can’t help but recall the feeling of his lips on your skin so many weeks ago… you want to feel his lips against yours again…

“Y/N- FOR FUCK’S SAKE!” you jump at the marshal’s extremely agitated voice, only to realise there’s a coeurl baring its fangs right at you, ready to pounce. You shoot at it immediately with your twin pistols, effectively shooting right through its eyes and into its skull. It’s an instant kill.

You’d usually be celebrating by now, but you can’t do a thing with Cor looking at you with THAT much fury in his steel blue eyes. Your eyes immediately tear up and you can’t control your sniffles and sobs this time. Your peers all scatter, feeling uncomfortable in both yours and Cor’s presence.

Cor steps forward, not relenting in his berating the slightest at the sight of your tears. “How many TIMES do I have to tell you? Pay attention!”

“Yes sir. I’m sorry sir,” you choke out. Cor’s gaze softens slightly at the shaky tone of your voice.

“Do I have to leave you at the Citadel next time? You know you’ll be demoted if things come down to that, y/n.” Cor warns you, stepping closer- his voice stern.

You nod, unable to answer him verbally as your shoulders begin to shudder uncontrollably.

You suddenly find yourself pulled into Cor’s warm chest, his strong arms encircling your frame and pulling you flush against his body. “I can’t take my eyes off you one moment before you go and find yourself in trouble, can I?” he murmurs into your hair, pressing a kiss onto your head. This tender act makes you cry harder.

“I-I’m sorry!” you cry out, burying yourself into his warmth. Cor sighs and nuzzles your soft hair.

“Don’t apologise, just pay attention long enough to stay alive and by my side, alright?”

You nod, squeezing your eyes shut out of guilt, and Cor presses yet another tender kiss on the crown of your head and holds you until your tears cease to fall.