were hot stuff

ALRIGHT MY DUDES I’M NOT GONNA BORE YOU WITH THE RABBIT HOLE I WENT DOWN TO FIND THIS BUT JUST LOOK AT IRL KEITH

His name is Ernie Reyes Jr. but he played a character named Keno (KENO?? KEITH?? COINCIDENCE?? I THINK NOT) in the 1991 movie Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II: The Secret of the Ooze (again, don’t ask how I got here)

He’s a pizza delivery boy that gets caught up in turtle shenanigans and literally only exists for one movie but please just look at him.

The black t-shirt, the bright red jacket, tHE MULLET. Did I also mention he’s Filipino because I could go for some Filipino!Keith headcanons like sign me the fuck up

AND WHAT’S THIS??? Have you always wanted to know what Keith would look like reacting to meeting cryptids irl well HERE YOU FUCKING GO. THROWBACK TO THE OG CRYPTIDS OF MY CHILDHOOD: GIANT RATMAN AND HIS GREEN DISCIPLES

Here’s him ready to fight a bitch in a tank top because he loves fisticuffs and is a hella good martial artist. Within the first like four minutes of the movie, he sees these dudes robbing a store and goes up to them ALONE telling them “you’re under arrest” HOLDING A BUNCH OF PIZZAS and attempts to take all of them out alone. I mean he beats the shit out of them but like then a bunch more guys come running out and then he’s like oH SHIT I DIDNT THINK THIS THROUGH but luckily the turtles come to save his ass.

Did I also mention that out of all the turtles he is most similar to Raphael? The red turtle. The most impatient and impulsive turtle. Always ready to fight. PLEASE. Also Raphael doesn’t really like him at first but then Keno suggests he use himself as bait to find the baddies and suddenly Raphael is like “I hate to agree with him but he’s gotta point.” So even though Splinter is like “TOO DANGEROUS” the two of them break off from the rest of the team and do the mission anyways (um) and accidentally find The Big Bad™ (uM) and then get into hot shit (UM) and Raphael sacrifices himself for Keno (UMMMMMMMMMM). But don’t worry Keno brings everyone back to save him.

And then later there’s a scene where Splinter tries to teach him how to meditate but Keno physically can’t do it and runs off to fight instead because fuck patience he needs to kick something. Here’s this idiot literally back flipping onto the stage to fight Shredder one-on-one like wtf he’s so extra™

He also had an action figure even though he was only in one movie and HOLY SHIT THIS IS MORE KEITH LIKE THAN THE KEITH ACTION FIGURE????

In conclusion: WHAT THE FUCK WAS KEITH DOING WITH THE NINJA TURTLES IN 1991?? IDK BUT I FOUND HIM

Bonus: Keno sticking his leggy out

3

Imagine Tina Goldstein having a huuuge crush on this famous senior back in her Ilvemorny days, but she was too shy to talk to him, he didnt even know who the hell she was. Tina kept it a secret for years, until, said senior in Ilvemorny happened to be her senior Auror at MACUSA and he, hulla, started hitting on her.

It’s funny I talk about Sherlock’s military kink so much, and then I just realized

I have a military kink. 

sooo this is from a drawpile doodle session i did w/ @kumquatstar back on 12/3/16… full of OCs n some mp100… hopefully u can tell who drew what lmao cuz our styles r pretty different.. anyway this was fun and i hope we can do it again sometime ;w;

Matchmaker_El Diablo x Reader

Anon asked: Reader having a Low key crush on el Diablo and him having a crush too, then the squad finds out and tries to pair them. Just wonder if you could, even if it’s not the most nice idea (: thanks I love your blog!

Here we go….

Disclaimer. I own nothing but the plot.

Warnings: Alcohol use.

WC: 651

Originally posted by therisingalleria

“What’cha lookin’ at Y/N?” Harley chirped, startling you

“What? Nothing.” You quipped trying, and failing, to hide your blush.

“Liar. You were looking at hot stuff again weren’t ya?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Oh. My. God! You like him! I knew it!”

“Oi! Keep it down.” You scolded.

“I’m totally getting’ you two together!” She squealed

“Harley…” you whined as she skipped away.

               Over the next week of the mission everyone starting acting differently towards you and Chato, even the American Flag.  You were assigned guard duty together during sown time you two were almost always left alone together. It’s not like either of you minded though, you got along fine. You knew she had gotten Flag to take part. Her plan wasn’t very effective until the last day before extraction. The mission was a success to her and Floyd had looted the ground zero ghost town of every drop of liquor. Everyone got at least a little tipsy save for Diablo who refused to touch the stuff. Within an hour of getting completely wasted yourself, everyone made an excuse to turn in for the night. For a little bit you two just sat in thick silence.

“You know what’s been up with everyone?” He asked.

“S’ Harley’s plan.” You said, slurring slightly. “Sh’ ships us.”

He raised a hypothetical eyebrow at you.

“Sh’ found out I like ya. Now she’s tryin’ta get us together.”

He almost looked amused but with the dark lighting and his tattoos it was hard to tell. It took a while for your alcohol heavy brain to figure out what you said, but when it did your face was easily as red as a tomato.

“Shit, why am I like this?” you covered your face with your hands. “M’ sorry. I’ll jus’ go…”

You were about to walk away when he spoke up. Lawton said something to me the other day. I thought it was just a brother messing with me.” You stopped. “After what happened with… After what happened I never thought you’d like me back.”

The moment of confessions and cuteness would have been a ton more romantic if you weren’t drunk.  You tried to spin around to look at him, the result was a dizzy spell that caused you to fall flat on your bum.

Chato chuckled “Maybe we try this again when you’re sober.”

You mumbled out something along the lines of “Yeah maybe” before you felt him pick you up and start towards your tent. You didn’t even make the hundred feet there before you fell asleep.

~The Next Morning~

Hangovers Suck. Waking up with the equivalent of jack hammer in your skull and knives in your eye sockets was not exactly in your plans for the day. You made a mental vow, which would probably be ignored, to not drink as much next time. You groaned rather loudly and tried to sit up. Key word: Tried. A warm heavily inked arm was wrapped around your waist comfortably. It was after you gave up and flopped down that the started to stir.

“Mornin’” you croaked

He mumbled something similar and you rolled over to look at him.

“So now that I’m sober, with an absolutely terrible hangover, I think I should do something like this” without giving yourself time to chicken out you shifted forward and gently brushed your lips against his. With some newfound confidence you gave him a sloppy kiss. He froze up for a moment before he kissed you back. You could practically feel all the fears and insecurities he had melting away. You pulled away and giggled at the sleepy half smile on his face. You were about to kiss him again when Harley’s grating voice broke the silence.

“I told you I could get them together! You owe me $20 Tatsu!”

“Shut the fuck up Quinzel!” You groaned loudly, making Chato chuckle.

Slutet!

4

Lana: No, there was no tongues.
Fan: Pictures don’t lie!

Thank the lord for the 1080p version.

Thank you, Sammy -smut version-

Originally posted by out-in-the-open

Pairing: Samxfriend!reader, Deanxreader
Word count: 3,687
Warnings: Swearing, smut

Three years.

How long you had known the Winchesters.

Two years.

How long you’ve been attracted to Dean.

One year.

How long it’s been since you admitted to yourself that you were in love with him.

You had hunted on and off with them, but it was only when your paths crossed. Six months ago, however, you’d been pretty injured. They had offered you a place to stay while you healed. Thankful that you’d have somewhere safe to hide out, you accepted. It wasn’t like you had much to move, or anyone to check in on you. The hunters you had connected with over the years were your only friends. Some you called family.

It hadn’t taken six months to heal. Hell, you’d fell well enough to leave after two. It just never came up. You had fallen into a routine, and it worked. Some days you would start your mornings by working out with Sam. Others you would sleep in, having spent the night out with Dean the night before. The nights that he went home with some bar hopper, you tended to stay a bit later. Sam usually ended up picking you up.

Keep reading

Shit Rick Says In Pocket Mortys

Ah damn, we got some reeeeal Morty stuff happening.

Oh, HELL yeah!

These Mortys, they get—I keep getting older, but they keep stayin’ the saaame age.

Graaaaass tastes bad.

Geez, Morty, we came here to win, not to get our asses kicked.

Sometimes you have to stop and smell the roses. Just couple words of wisdom there.

Hey, Rick. Over here.

If you expect nothing, you’ll never be disappointed. Just a little wisdom.

I’m the Rick that can somersault!

He who smelt it dealt it. You know what I’m talkin’ about Morty?

All these Mortys, so little time.

Wubba lubba dub dub!

Rip him limb from limb, Morty!

One hell of a map we got here, i’n’it.

Ohhhh, snap!

Oh yeaaahhh, baby.

I’m the Rick that can blink fast.

Grrrr!

Look at this, another…little character over here.

Oh, you think your Mortys are better than me?

You’re goin’ down.

I’m the Rick that knows how to move my legs.

Alright Morty. Make me look good.

You think you got better Mortys than me?

This particular location? I’m the fanciest Rick.

What do you think you’re doin’, buddy?

I knew you could do it Morty.

I’m the fanciest Rick on this map.

Go, Morty!

Alright Morty!

Rip him apart, Morty!

You came in here all cocky. Look where that got you, punk.

Get him, Morty!

Attack, Morty!

It’s time to take out the trash, Morty.

You can do it, Morty, y-you, ya just gotta get in there and do it.

That’s how we do it!

And awaaaay we go, Morty.

That’s how we do it!

Time to take ‘em out.

Knock him out, Morty!

Ugh, Morty… You’re makin’ me sick.

Yeah Morty!

We gotta win this one, Morty.

Why don’t you go get some better Mortys, you loser?

Take him out, Morty!

You keep fightin’ like that, Morty, you’re gonna end up at the… top of the… charts.

Don’t let me down, Morty.

Alright, Morty, don’t get too cocky.

I’m the craziest Rick all around this level.

You’re not getting past me, punk.

Hey Morty, how about you try…less hard…

Alright Morty. Way to go.

IN YOUR FACE, PUNK!

Just because you won, doesn’t make you the…coolest…person around, or nothin’.

AY-YOOOO! HAHA!

Yeah! In your face!

Time to take ‘em out.

That’s what I’m talkin’ about Morty!

Ugh… Worst Morty EVER.

Take care of him, Morty.

Yeah! 

Fightin’ like that, makin’ me look good, Morty.

Yeah, I didn’t think so, loser!

C-Come on, Morty, what is this, some sort of game to you?

With a Morty that dumb, I don’t think you’ll ever win…a battle…

Take care of him, Morty.

You call that fighting Morty? I don’t think so.

Pssh. You think you can beat me with Mortys that weak? I don’t think so.

Man, I’m all pumped up. From winning!

You better level up some Mortys before you think about fighting me again.

You are a dumb, weak-willed Rick.

Yeah, you thought you were real hot stuff. Not on my watch.

Oh, ho ho ho, ho ho! Yeah!

Oh yeeeeaaaah, baby!

Look both ways before you cross the STREET!

Alright alright alright!

You showed him, Morty!

You really took care of that other Morty, didn’t you.

Better watch out. Around here, I’m the craziest Rick.

Ricky-tiki-tavi!

Good work.

OH! Looks like the best Morty won!

Why don’t you get out of here and don’t let the door hit you on the way out?

Greetings. I’ve a weird question. I know Tessa and Will loved each other romantically Will’s whole life, but as Will got older and Tessa didn’t, did they stop wanting the sex because Tessa had the body of a nineteen year old and Will didnt? — penguinsareboss1234

Ha! That does not seem to have been a problem for them, given Tessa’s description of their marriage in the Clockwork Princess epilogue. 

As people get older, their desires — how they seem themselves and others — often change. When I go through old boxes of stuff I owned in high school I burst out laughing at the pictures of the boys I thought were hot stuff back then because they look like children to me now. Tessa’s body might not age, but her brain does. Desire is in your brain and heart, not your body parts. When she looks at Will, she doesn’t see “an old man”, she sees someone the same age as her. As for Will, he looks at Tessa and sees the woman he loves and spent his life with. He’s not counting her wrinkles or the lack of them.

Older people are able to have very fulfilling, satisfying sex lives, even though their desire isn’t fetishized by popular culture the way the desire of young people is. That is one of the ways pop culture does not actually reflect reality at all and we are all the poorer for it.

Anyway, I assure you Tessa and Will had a great sex life up till the last.

anonymous asked:

Midorima, Nijimura, Kagami and Akashi taking care of drunk & horny s/o? Can be nsfw or not. Your call :3

Midorima:

You were rubbing yourself against him, everything felt dizzy, but all you could think of was how to get these constricting clothes off. “Miiiidorimaaaaa~” You said in a sing-song voice. He sighed, trying to lay you back in bed for the seventh time. 

“Please get into bed, ____. You will thank me later.” You pouted at him, pulling at his shirt. 

“I can thank you now, though!” He shook his head, finally settling you down. He knew that you weren’t in your right mind right now, so he was respectful of you. You were struggling to stay up, he held your hand, and you swear you saw him smile a little.

Akashi:

“____, please stay still.” He scolded, you were whining about being hungry and wanting to have sex with him, clawing at his lap in the car. He kept calm, but he was very disappointed you had gotten drunk, though who would have known you were a light-weight? “ When we get home, you’re going to drink lots of water and take a shower, then right to bed.” 

“Buuuuu-”

“No buts, keep your mouth shut.” He was really angry, and you knew that was the end of the conversation. You moaned in annoyance, wanting to have his attention though a small voice in the back of your head said- “He’s just worried, best let him calm down.” The ride back was quiet, but the next day you would really get your punishment.

Kagami:

Kagami had to hide his face, you were currently doing a horribly done strip dance in front of him, thinking you were hella sexy though you were anything but. You hair was a mess, and you were still dirty from falling down earlier. He was laughing but was just letting you get your energy out. 

“How do I look?” your voiced slurred, giving a lazy wink.

“Like shit, I think you need to rest,” He commented. You pounced him, your breath stank of alcohol, and your body sweaty from exhaustion, though he easily lifted you off when he noticed you fell asleep. “Well, that was easy.”

Nijimura:

You were currently trying to convince your boyfriend to have some drunk sex with you, but all that came out were words that made no sense. He was smiling at you, as you rubbed his chest, thinking that you were hot stuff.

“It would be so much fun!~” You argued, giggling like an idiot. He shook his head, holding you in a tight embrace so you couldn’t let your hands wander as much. 

“I much rather you sober, that way we can both enjoy it.” He stated, rubbing small circles in the small of your back. You knew you weren;t you wouldn’t win, so you gave in, snuggling close to him.