1. You slammed the door shut and locked it behind you. The sound it made still rings in my ears some nights. You left me outside in the pouring rain shivering and choking on blood and tears and all the things I wanted to say to you, I swear to god I knocked on your door until my knuckles turned blue.
2. I saw you with her through your living room window and I saw the way you pulled her into your chest and held her close to your heartbeat the way you used to with me and it made my fingers shake with envy and the fear of you forgetting about me. Your heartbeat was my favourite fucking song you know.
3. I bumped into her at the grocery store and my heart sunk to my feet when I noticed your favourite brand of cereal in her grocery cart. Who knew a fucking cereal box could hurt so badly.
4. I took 7 shots of Bacardi to try and get you out of my throat but even with alcohol running through my veins your name was the only sound in my head that wasn’t spinning. I sent you 27 text messages that night and you didn’t reply once.
5. I went to the park bench we carved our initials into when everything tasted like french vanilla and holding hands. I crossed them out with a black sharpie and regretted it the whole way home.
6. You came up in a conversation and I felt every single muscle in my body tighten with anger. I wasn’t sad anymore, I was mad. I was mad that you took everything away from me and I was even more mad at myself for letting you. You made me hate myself a lot.
7. I used to sleep in your blue sweater every night and one night I just didn’t, it was the best sleep I had in months. I realized that my dreams tasted a lot better without you in them. I haven’t dreamt about you since.