went kayaking

One thing you don’t often hear about Florida is all the wild fucking nature and animals. My backyard is on a canal so it can be a zoo some days, with great blue herons, osprey, turkey vultures, burrowing owls, otters, giant iguanas, jesus lizards, giant soft shell turtles, cormorants diving for fish and the usual birds, raccoons, ducks, & possums. The first time I went canoeing/kayaking it was like a religious experience. It reset my mind. It was like I forgot everything and fall into a rhythm where it all made sense. The residual feeling lasted for days.
Later, I looked at buying a kayak and a roof rack for our car. Of course first, you need to put rails on the car then the rack. And then you need to get the right paddles. It wasn’t cheap I’d have to spend almost two grand to do it right. Then I started laughing. Why is it everytime a human being has a religious experience they have to build a church or write some kinda book? Why not just merge with everything and relax? Why do we have to become experts and control everything?
Drink a good $9 bottle of wine and put on some real music. Eat some good food, enjoy yourself and other people. Get fucked. Don’t become a sommelier and start a wine collection and build a wine cellar. Just drink, eat, and enjoy. Give park ranger $18 bucks and rent a kayak for ½ a day. Or spend thousands of dollars and drag a bunch of shit around forever and join a club and online forums. Why are we such stupid boring assholes?
Maybe we’re just control freaks who have to pretend that we’re special and useful. Maybe we gotta be good or bad so we can pretend that falling in love isn’t the simplest fucking thing in the world. I guess we’re just scared and not quite ready (we’ll never be ready) Maybe it just feels good to get all tied up in knots only to come undone with so much pomp and circumstance. Or perhaps we’re just programmed to buy shit because it makes us feel good to fulfill our programming.
The point is, freedom - peace - unified consciousness - love -or whatever you want to call this deeper reality of us. It’s always available and it doesn’t require anything. That was the whole point of the buddha. You can just sit under a tree and stop.
Of course, you can claim to be god and get tortured and nailed to a tree if that’s yer kink. But it’s been done. Maybe rent a paddle boat and read poetry to the birds.

i had a dream last night that i went on an instructional kayak trip but instead of kayaks the guy just had us sit on a long plank of wood with our feet dangling in the water and then he said “were going to paddle around until we touch all the different species of seaweed in the lake with our feet!” and in that moment my soul left my body and i woke up

FEBRUARY 20TH - bye bye franz

going to franz josef was the best decision ever, i loved everything about it. in the past couple of weeks i’ve been really living it up. i went kayaking on lake mapourika and through the okarito kiwi reserve, did horseback riding which left me completely in awe, treated myself with an afternoon in the glacier hot pools, got drunk at monsoon’s, drove to lake matheson again, went stargazing and - the most memorable adventure- jumped out of a plane 16,000 feet above the earth. i’ll write a separate blog post about my skydive though. i got really close to mey and sophia and we basically hung out every single day to get coffee, bake apple crumble, drive to okarito beach, go partying or have dinner at the indian restaurant king tiger. saying goodbye to these two wonderful girls broke my heart a little bit, with some people you just click. but the reunion is going to happen! other than that i got better at my job, i became head waitress for two nights and had to open and close the restaurant, assigned the tasks and basically ran the place :D i also got to take care of the gecko village housekeeping which was nice, i liked it. today i had to say goodbye to franz josef. i spent my day with driving down to te anau and finally saw a glimpse of haast, wanaka, cromwell and queenstown. it’s so weird, i talked about these places so many times but now i finally have an image in my head. the west coast is the most beautiful part of new zealand that i have seen so far, i literally talked to myself. “oh my god”, “this is my life”, “no way”. :D especially queenstown is what dreams are made of, i can’t wait to return and take my time at all of these places. when i stopped at a lake for lunch i met this kiwi lady who told me that she drove down the west coast plenty of times but never saw it with so much sunshine. i have no words for today, the beauty of this country is beyond compare. i also got my phone screen fixed, yay! tomorrow i will have my reunion with my sweet friend jamie, very excited to catch up with her! and then i’ll already start the milford track, just nature, my backpack and i. this journey brings me more joy than i ever had in my entire life. i’ll take so many great memories from franz josef with me and capture them in my heart&soul, hopefully i’ll leave something good behind as well.

Part 1h. Nico hardcore plays SIF. Headcanon that SIF was somehow made during season 2… Woo! This is moving slower than molasses in an igloo.

Ugh. I try to post at least once a week, but it seems I’ve missed my self-imposed deadline by a day. I have shamed myself and my ancestors! *rolls into fire*

Previously: 1a, 1b, 1c, 1d, 1e, 1f, 1g.

So when we went kayaking, one of the guys posted photos on Reddit and every single person got compliments except for me???? I’m totally secure in myself but honestly how fucking dare internet strangers not find me attractive. It totally doesn’t even bother me but anyway I’m going to the gym 6 times a week now. 

The signs as things I've done

Aries: challenged three people to a volleyball match against my volleyball squad

Taurus: went sea kayaking in Alaska when it was really windy and rainy but didn’t stop even though some people had to be rescued

Gemini: Roasted my friend in front of my speech and science teacher during green team

Cancer: didn’t go to the movies with my friends because I was mad that they made a secret chat behind my back to plan for the movie

Leo: Tried to make an inside joke with my friends but ended up yelling “hail hitler” in front of my whole English class

Virgo: began to fill out my application for the tenth ranked high school in the U.S but only got past the name part

Libra: said “I needed a bobby pin, and I found one!” To an Aquarius and he responded with “one time I needed a body bag”

Scorpio: Made my web design class listen to a post-hardcore song

Sagittarius: went on a camping trip and witnessed a centipede kill a snake. Scared off the centipede and gave the snake a funeral with a Virgo and a Scorpio by making it a boat and putting it in the lake

Capricorn: Told my friends on Quotev that quotev is basically emos, fangirls, and weaboos who are freakishly obsessive

Aquarius: stayed up for hours trying to think about what to do for a science fair project

Pisces: wrote a fanfic about two of my friends that included my Algebra teacher

this weekend was filled with so much peace. i danced all while my boyfriend performed music, went swimming and rafting in clear blue water, camped at joshua tree, explored the desert, and meditated during a quartz sound bath. i feel so blessed & full of light