wellthatsjustducky

Me: Like your new pillow, Ducky?

Ducky: It smells like you.

Me: It’s stuffed with my old shirts!

Ducky:

Me:

Ducky: I’m sitting on a garbage bag?

Me: No! It’s a bed that’s meant to be stuffed with an owner’s clothes.

Ducky: Owner of what now?

Me: Sorry. Meant to be stuffed with clothes of doggy daddies and mommies.

Ducky: Okay. Why?

Me: Doggies like the smells of their people.

Ducky:

Me: Isn’t that true?

Ducky: Depends on the day. Were these shirts worn on pizza days?

Me: They weren’t chosen for that reason but given my diet, odds are good.

Ducky: So you gave me a pillow filled with your shirts because you thought I would like it?

Me: Yup!

Ducky: Well that’s very nice then.

Me: Yay!

Ducky: Thank you.

Me: Don’t mention it.

Ducky: But what if you need these shirts?

Me: Oh I won’t. They’re all shirts that I needed to get rid of anyway so they just would have ended up…

Ducky:

Me:

Ducky: I’m sitting on a garbage bag.

Me: I love you, Ducky.

Ducky: I love you, Daddy.

See over six years of Ducky posts at Well That’s Just Ducky and Well That’s Just Great!

Ducky: Daddy?

Me: Yes, Ducky?

Ducky: Why are we in the closet?

Me: Hurricane.

Ducky: Ah. Why do you have the shield?

Me: In case the roof falls on us.

Ducky:

Me:

Ducky: Why do you have Pop-Tarts in here?

Me: In case I get hungry before or after the roof falls on us.

Ducky:

Me:

Ducky: Why are there Go-Go Squeeze in here?

Me: In case the Lady gets hungry before of after the roof falls on us.

Ducky: 

Me:

Ducky: Why aren’t there any treats for me in here?

Me: Don’t want you to have to poop. Food could make you have to poop.

Ducky:

Me:

Ducky: I don’t want you or the Lady to poop in here. Maybe we could share. Even out the…uh…

Me: Fecal urgency?

Ducky:

Me:

Ducky: I don’t like the sound of that at all.

Me: Why don’t we all refrain from eating for awhile?

Ducky: Weird day.

Me: Weird day. I love you, Ducky.

Ducky: I love you, Daddy.

See over six years of Ducky posts at Well That’s Just Ducky and Well That’s Just Great!

Me: Hey, Ducky. Do you know what today is?

Ducky: Yes. The present day, time, or age; this day; the present time.

Me: Technically you are correct. But do you know specifically what makes this day special?

Ducky: I do believe today is Extra Treat Day.

Me: Not at all.

Ducky: According to my calendar it is.

Me: You don’t have a calendar.

Ducky: Which explains why we missed it last year. 

Me: Today is National Adopt A Shelter Pet Day!

Ducky: Hey! I was a shelter pet!

Me: That is correct!

Ducky: However should we celebrate?

Me:

Ducky:

Me:

Ducky: Hey! I have an idea!

Me: Is the idea that you and I should post a conversation where we remind everyone that shelter pets are awesome and that anyone who wants a pet should always look to see if a shelter pet is right for them?

Ducky:

Me:

Ducky: That was not my idea.

Me: But?

Ducky: But it’s a pretty good one. If all the pets in shelters had homes like this they’d be happier.

Me: And the people that adopted them would be happier.

Ducky: Did adopting me make you happier?

Me: Yup!

Ducky: I knew that was going to be your answer. But if you’re going to post this it’s helpful for you to verbalize your inner monologue so the reader…

Me: No need to pull the curtain back so far, Ducky.

Ducky: Dilutes the message?

Me: A bit.

Ducky: Stay on topic? 

Me: When possible.

Ducky: How about a slogan?

Me: Okay.

Ducky: Celebrate National Adopt A Ducky Day: Being Adopted Is Quite A Treat!

Me:

Ducky: It’s a call back. Shelter pets are famous for call backs.

Me: I love you, Ducky.

Ducky: I love you, Daddy.

Ducky: Hey, Daddy?

Me: Yes, Ducky?

Ducky: That’s a lot of leash.

Me: It’s two leashes.

Ducky: Seems like a lot.

Me: Only one more than usual. 

Ducky: Feels like twice as much.

Me: That is also correct.

Ducky: Math.

Me:

Ducky: It’s because last time I de-leashed, isn’t it?

Me: Yup.

Ducky: I got excited.

Me: I know.

Ducky: I like rides.

Me: Yup.

Ducky: I like being places.

Me: Yup.

Ducky: It can cause me to get a bit twisty.

Me: Also a yup.

Ducky: So double leash?

Me: Makes me feel safer.

Ducky: And if you feel safer you’ll take me on rides and to places.

Me: When I can.

Ducky: Double leash is okay then.

Me: I’m glad. Oh and one more thing.

Ducky: What?

Me: If anyone asks, you’re a dingo.

Ducky: What?

Me: Never mind.

Ducky: I love you, Daddy.

Me: I love you, Ducky.

Me: Hey, Duck…

Ducky: HAPPY DADDY’S DAY!!

Me: Aw, thanks, Ducky. Hey…

Ducky: Is it “Daddy’s” Day, like “the day belongs to Daddy?” or is it “Daddies Day” like “a day to celebrate all Daddies?”

Me: Not sure. Hey, Duck…

Ducky: The Lady wasn’t clear when she told me it was Daddy’s Day again. The seven years since the last one sure did fly by.

Me: Yes. So, Duck…

Ducky: See because seven years…

Me: Yes. Dog years. Always clever. Anyway, you…

Ducky: You know it’s actually a little dark. Because the whole seven years thing is because a dog’s life span…

Me: Yes, I l know. Do you also know that you’re lying on my…

Ducky: HEY, WANT YOUR PRESENT!?

Me:

Ducky:

Me: You got me a present?

Ducky: Yes.

Me:

Ducky:

Me: Is it a pillow?

Ducky:

Me:

Ducky: How did you guess?

Me: Is it MY pillow?

Ducky:

Me:

Ducky: You’re good

Me:

Ducky: Or did The Lady tell?

Me: Ducky, you’re lying on it.

Ducky: I resent the implication. And I believe the correct phrase would be that I am lying ABOUT it.

Me: No. You’re lying on the pillow.

Ducky:

Me:

Ducky: Well I couldn’t wrap it. No thumbs. And it would have taken over seven…

Me: You’re lying ABOUT it being a present now that I caught you.

Ducky:

Me: ...

Ducky: Technically you are correct. But it’s the thought that counts.

Me: Uh huh.

Ducky: They say you should get someone something you would like to get yourself

Me: Uh huh. And you do like my pillows.

Ducky: That’s no lie.

Me: I love you, Ducky.

Ducky: I love you, Daddy. Happy Daddy’s Day.

Ag & Ducky

Remember that weekly Ducky posts go up every Sunday at 7:00 pm ET!

Me: Want to go for a ride, Ducky?

Ducky: Rhetorical question?

Me: Because Duckies always want to go for rides?

Ducky: Bingo.

Me: Want to know where we’re going?

Ducky: As long as it’s not the Post Office, I don’t care.

Me:

Ducky: Just kidding. I heard you tell The Lady you were going to the Post Office.

Me: Ah.

Ducky: I’m funny.

Me: Often times, yes.

Ducky: I do have a question, however.

Me: What’s a Post Office?

Ducky: What is a Post Office?

Me: It’s a place where people go to mail letters.

Ducky: Uh huh. Uh huh.

Me:

Ducky: Two part follow up.

Me: “Mail” and “letters?”

Ducky: You could explain while we ride.

Me: Good idea.

Ducky: Yay for rides!

Me: Yeah. Yay for rides.

Ducky: “Mail” sounds familiar.

Me: Well you know about the mailman.

Ducky:

Me: The one you bark at.

Ducky: Mailman wants to get in the house. Hate the mailman.

Me: He doesn’t actually try to get in the house. 

Ducky: Not when he hears me bark. I’m all that stands between us and his evil plan to take all our stuff.

Me: Not really his plan.

Ducky: I scare him and he drops things and runs.

Me: I know you think that’s what happens but his job is to drop things and run. Your barking has no effect.

Ducky: That’s probably what he tells his family when he gets home and has to explain why he doesn’t have his stuff anymore.

Me: Anyway, the Post Office is where that stuff he brings comes from. 

Ducky:

Me:

Ducky: So we’re going to the mailman’s house?

Me: Sort of. 

Ducky: What if he’s there?

He: He won’t be. It’s Sunday. But I need to drop something off and I thought you’d like the ride.

Ducky: I like the ride.

Me: Yay.

Ducky: I do not like the mailman.

Me: We’ll only be there a few minutes. Walk in, drop off the letter, and leave. And you get to go into a new place with new smells.

Ducky: Uh huh.

Me: Sounds like fun, doesn’t it?

Ducky: No mailman? 

Me: No mailman.

Ducky: Lucky for him.

——

Me: Isn’t this nice, Ducky? A new place!

Ducky: Smells like a lot of mailman.

Me: A lot of them do work here.

Ducky: More than one?

Me: Yup.

Ducky: How many?

Me: I don’t know. A dozen? Maybe more.

Ducky: WELL THEY BETTER WATCH THEMSELVES WITH ME HERE I TELL YOU THAT MUCH!!!

Me: Thanks for staying alert. I love you, Ducky.

Ducky: I LOVE YOU DADDY AND WE CAN TOTALLY GET GOING BACK HOME ANY TIME YOU WANT! 

See over six years of Ducky posts at Well That’s Just Ducky and Well That’s Just Great!

Me: Hey, Ducky.

Ducky: You can’t see me.

Me: Actually…

Ducky: I am camouflaged beyond all detection.

Me: Your nose is behind a towel.

Ducky:

Me:

Ducky: Completely imperceptible to human eyes.

Me:

Ducky: “Where’s Ducky?” they ask.

Me:

Ducky: “No one knows,” the universe whispers!

Me:

Ducky:

Me:  You’re still getting a bath.

Ducky: “No…one…knows!”

Me: I love you, Ducky.

Ducky: I love you, Daddy.

Ag & Ducky

Me: That is a serious look, Ducky.

Ducky: That is a big bowl of Appy Jacks.

Me: It’s a pretty standard size bowl of Apple Jacks.

Ducky: That’s one serving?

Me:

Ducky:

Me: Not according to the box, no.

Ducky: Biiiiiiiig bowl of Appy Jacks.

Me:

Ducky: Big enough to share.

Me: The Lady isn’t here.

Ducky: So no need to worry about having to share with her too, then.

Me: Too?

Ducky: Duckies like Appy Jacks.

Me: Ah. So you were less concerned that I was eating too much and more focused on getting some cereal for yourself.

Ducky: A shocking deduction. However did you piece it all together?

Me: The clues were there for anyone willing to look.

Ducky: So to keep things simple, why don’t you put the bowl down, I’ll eat my half and then you can finish the rest at your leisure.

Me: I don’t think so, Ducky.

Ducky: Is my look getting more serious? I feel like it’s getting more serious.

Me: A little. How about I give you a piece?

Ducky: Is a piece “all?”

Me: No, but it’s more than what you have now.

Ducky: Any way I can get more than a piece? How about if I crunch it and chew it a lot before swallowing?

Me: I do like that. It’s cute. That could get you up to three pieces.

Ducky: Is my look happy now? I feel like it’s getting happier.

Me: I love you, Ducky.

Ducky: I love you, Daddy

New posts (almost) every Sunday at “Well, That’s Just Ducky!” 

Ducky: Hey, Daddy.

Me: Hey, Ducky. Did you have a dream?

Ducky:

Me:

Ducky: How did you know that?

Me: You were muttering in your sleep.

Ducky: Ah.

Me: And your piddies were twitching.

Ducky: It was quite a dream.

Me: Were you dreaming that I was stepping on you?

Ducky:

Me:

Ducky: How did you know that?

Me: Magic.

Ducky:

Me: I love you, Ducky.

Ducky: I love you, Daddy.

Me: It makes you smell better.

Ducky:

Me: And you’ll be less itchy.

Ducky:

Me: And actually the wet look is a bit slimming…

Ducky: Then you should hop all the way in, tubby.

Me:

Ducky: I don’t care for baths and it causes me to lash out.

Me: I am aware.

Ducky: Just rinse me, old man.

Me: I love you, Ducky.

Ducky: I love you, Daddy.

Ducky: That’s my food.

Me: Yes it is.

Ducky:

Me:

Ducky: I don’t see how putting my food in zippy bags makes much sense. I can’t open zippy bags.

Me: I know.

Ducky: You know why?

Me: Yes. No thumbs.

Ducky: No thumbs!

Me: The Lady’s Sister has thumbs. That’s a prerequisite for watching you while we’re gone.

Ducky: You’re going somewhere?

Me: We’ve been packing all day. 

Ducky: Oh. I got distracted.

Me: By me putting your food in bags.

Ducky: By you putting my food in bags.

Me: I understand.

Ducky: Why put it in bags? Is The Lady’s Sister scoop averse?

Me: Not to the best of my knowledge, no. But this way I can make sure your medicine is dosed correctly for each day without her worrying about it. 

Ducky: Thanks.

Me: And I can make sure you get the right amount of food each day.

Ducky:

Me:

Ducky: But how do you know how hungry I’m going to be each day?

Me: I tend to assume you’re going to be very hungry.

Ducky: Good call.

Me: But still, the same amount each day.

Ducky:

Me:

Ducky: You don’t eat the same amount each day.

Me: No. And we’ve both seen the impact of that tendency.

Ducky: You seem happy?

Me:

Ducky: If I say heavy you’re not going to add any extra food in that baggie so I’m sticking with happy.

Me: Good call.

Ducky: I’m going to miss you.

Me: I’m going to miss you too, Duck. But we’ll be back soon. 

Ducky: Okay. Which day is that bag for?

Me: This is for Wednesday evening.

Ducky:

Me:

Ducky: I have a feeling I’ll be a extra active that day. Better add a little bit more.

Me: Why are you going to be more active on Wednesday?

Ducky:

Me:

Ducky: I plan to miss you extra on Wednesday.

Me:

Ducky:

Me: A little extra for Wednesday.

Ducky: I love you, Daddy,

Me: I love you too, Ducky.

Ducky: Hey, Daddy?

Me: Yes?

Ducky: Thhhhhhhppt!

Me: Almost done, Ducky.

Ducky: If you thought I was thirsty, I appreciate the thought. But water goes in the Ducky, not on the Ducky.

Me: Not this water.

Ducky: Ah. 

Me: You needed a bath. It’s been weeks.

Ducky: I see. I had not considered that. In that case allow me to reconsider.

Me:

Ducky: Upon further reflection, thhhhhhhppt, thhhhhhhppt!

Me: Almost done. I love you, Ducky.

Ducky: Thhhhhhhppt!

Ducky: What’s going on?

Me: It’s Halloween, Ducky!

Ducky: Okay then.

Me: There are gravestones! Spoopy!

Ducky: Where?

Me: In the camera.

Ducky: Okay. 

Me:

Ducky: I just realized I have more questions.

Me: What are gravestones? Why would they be floating in mid air? How are they exactly “in the camera?”

Ducky: Those are good questions.

Me: Not your questions?

Ducky: Nope.

Me: Your questions?

Ducky: Is it dinner time?

Me: Not yet. Your other questions?

Ducky: They’re going to sound a lot like the other one.

Me: “Is it dinner time yet?”

Ducky: I say, “Yes!”

Me: No. I mean was that your question?

Ducky: Was what my question?

Me: “Is it dinner time yet?”

Ducky: I say, “Yes!”

Me:

Ducky: First base!

Me: I love you, Ducky.

Ducky: I love you, Daddy.

Happy Halloween, Spoopy Buddies! See you next week!

Ag & Ducky

Ducky: Daddy?

Me: Yes, Ducky.

Ducky: That was a long walk.

Me: You like walkies!

Ducky:

Me:

Ducky: That was an abnormally long walk at an unusual time of day.

Me:

Ducky: And what does “Just another stupid Rattata” mean?

Me: Funny you should ask. Dont…move…

Ducky: After a walk that long, not an issue.

Me: I love you, Ducky.

Ducky: I love you, Daddy.

Me: Well, Duck, plenty of people were glad to hear that you’re okay.

Ducky: Uh huh. That’s very nice. But you know what?

Me: You don’t feel so good?

Ducky: I don’t feel so good.

Me: Jinxed it.

Ducky: Does that mean you started spinning the house?

Me: Not literally, but in practice, kinda’.

Ducky: What happened?

Me: The vet called it “idiopathic vestibulitis!”

Ducky: Good for the vet.

Me: Nobody knows what causes it.

Ducky: I know what “idiopathic” means.

Me:

Ducky: But vestibulitis? 

Me: I jinxed it and now the house spins.

Ducky: It’s getting better now.

Me: Yeah. The vet said it should get better in about a week.

Ducky: Why did I get it?

Me: It’s fairly common in older dogs.

Ducky: Uh huh. And why did I get it?

Me:

Ducky:

Me: Anyway, I’m glad we took you to get checked out but it looks like this isn’t a big deal. Looking like you’ll be back to normal by Thanksgiving.

Ducky: Thanksgiving?

Me: Uh huh.

Ducky: Mashy tatoes?

Me: Well, the lady and I are going to her parents’ house for Thanksgiving this year. So we’re not making mashed potatoes here on Thursday.

Ducky:

Me:

Ducky: SPINNING!!! SPINNING!!!

Me: You’re bluffing.

Ducky: It’s idiopathic. Could be caused by disappointment.

Me: I’ll figure something out. I promise. I love you, Ducky.

Ducky: I love you, Daddy.

Me: Hey, Ducky. Someone thinks I should celebrate my run by giving you mashed potatoes. Isn’t that cute?

Ducky: The logic behind that is sound.

Me: I didn’t provide any logic and in fact it doesn’t make a lot of sen…

Ducky: MASHY TATOES!!!!!

Ducky: Mmmmm. Logic.

Me: I love you, Ducky.

Ducky: I love you, Daddy.

Thanks to @pulchraetlibris!

3

Ducky: I know that smell.

Me: Yup.

Ducky: That smell is a harbinger of mashy tatoes. 

Me: You know “harbinger” but pronounce mashed potat…

Ducky: Less talking. More…whatever it is you do that brings the mashy tatoes unto us.

Me: You’re being a good boy with those potatoes right there.

Ducky: Yup.

Me: Nothing stopping you from diving right in.

Ducky: There’s also nothing stopping me from biting your face off.

Me:

Ducky: Just choices and time. That’s all life is.

Me:

Ducky:  Choices to be made and how much time we take to make them.

Me:

Ducky: So how long until…

Me: Not long.

Ducky: That’s seven times “not long” in dog time so let’s not dawdle, Daddy.

Me: I love you, Ducky.

Ducky: I love you, Daddy.

Ducky: Hey, Daddy…

Me: Yes, Duck?

Ducky: Fleas Naughty Dog!

Me: Ah…

Ducky: Fleas Naughty Dog!

Me: Yes, you know I like…

Ducky: Fleas Naughty Dog. Protect the perro he’s a fleecy dog!

Me:

Ducky:

Me: “Perro” means dog in Spanish. So that’s pretty goo…

Ducky: I WANNA WISH YOU A MARRIED FISH MASK!

Me: So you know “perro…”

Ducky: I WANNA WISH YOU A HAIRY DISH MUSH!

Me: But you don’t…

Ducky: I WANNA SQUISH YOUR BLUEBERRY WISH MATS FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART!!!

Me:

Ducky:

Me: That last part was half right.

Ducky: And the rest? ALL CUTE!

Me: I love you, Ducky.

Ducky: I love you, Daddy. Merry Christmas.

Me: I love you, Ducky. Merry Christmas.

Fleas Naughty Dog to one and all!

Ag & Ducky