well worth it i think

6

imagine steve making a youtube channel to share his coming out story, just fully embracing who he is. he has to introduce bucky bc no one has actually saw him on video of his own free will but they know who he is (former pow/former soviet assassin/caps wwII boyfriend/childhood best friend/super soldier). the camera pans to him with his hair loose, sleeveless shirt that shows his metal arm and on his face is a deadly WS glare. steve just wordlessly leans over and kisses him, shows the world the softer side of bucky barnes just by existing and gently touching. from that moment on he becomes the internets fav smol adorable trained killer (though he only appears in the background of videos like when he’s walking to the kitchen in his boxers)

A-Z NSFW: Jaehyun

Originally posted by markleesdoft

Cr.

Donate | Masterlist

A = Aftercare 
Despite his erratic sex life with you, he does really care about you and can’t walk away without knowing you’re 100% on the up and up after his  jackrabbit fucking. Making sure you’re okay, 100% pleased, whatever marks he’s given you(even just hickies) aren’t like…deadly. Jaehyun’s pretty adamant about making sure the mood is toned back down, and he gets really lovey with soft forehead kisses, hugs, and coos about how he loves you before he lets you move on with the day. 

B = Body part (Their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s) 
Hands down his favorite body part on you is your hands, he loves feeling your hands grasping at his biceps, clutching his back, gripping his neck as he takes you, he just loves how he can feel the desperation for his touch in your touch. On the flip side, if he had to pick on himself, it’s his mouth. mostly because he’s a talker. He loves how just a trace of his lips against your neck, breathing words of lust against your skin has you shuddering and begging for him to do what he says he will, for him to please do something. Just his words can turn you to mush, and that’s true power in his mind.

C = Cum 
Nana says Jaehyun is a very dirty kind of boy, he makes a goddamn mess when he comes. If you’re in bed, he can’t just be a normal person and do it in you or on you, no he’s just got to make a mess so it’s a definite need to change the sheets afterwards. If it’s outside the bedroom, you need to mop the floor, he’s done dripped it everywhere. It’s honestly such a problem you’ve started to make him carry a handkerchief because it’s too stressful to find something to clean up with when you’re in a goddamn empty practice room with jizz on the floor. 

D = Dirty Secret (a dirty secret of theirs) 
Lord knows how you didn’t wake up, but he’d worn you out and you were sleeping so peacefully, he’d feel horrible if he woke you up just to deal with his hard cock again. What choice did he have…besides jerking off right beside you in bed while he got an eyeful of your naked body from your activities just hours before? Again, how did he not wake you up…a mystery, but he’s not going to mention it.

E = Experience (How experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?)
Ok y’all, we know Jeffrey lived in America for four years, we’ve tainted him as a person. He’s breathed our air long enough, we’ve infected him.Top that with being close to Johnny aka America’s #1 Fuck Boi, if he hasn’t done anything, he sure as hell knows too goddamn much, especially thanks to being around Mr. Oh Daddy telling fucking everyone about our kink secrets. He knows.

F = Favorite position
No matter what, if it’s against a wall, bent over a table, in bed, he’s a very big fan of taking you from behind. Jaehyun thrives off being able to control your hips, either pulling you to meet his thrusts or holding you stationary as he pounds into you, that he can easily trace his fingers up your spine and watch your back arch in response, how he can tug you up so you’re flush against him so his hands can wander over your tummy and chest, softly holding your throat with your head tossed back against his shoulder. Yes…

G = Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment, or are they humorous, etc)
Honestly, have you seen Jaehyun??? He goes from 0 to 100 back to 0 in 0.421 seconds. How he is during sex is like flipping a coin to see if a Targaryen will be mad, you just never know my dudes, gotta just roll the dice and hope for the best.  One second you’re just rolling around the bed and giggling and you blink and suddenly you’re both sweating and he’s pinning you down and pounding in to you for all he’s worth. I’ll pray for you.

H = Hair (How well groomed are they)
I think he’s a pretty clean guy? I don’t think he’s the type of guy to completely shave it, I think he’s kind of lazy in that aspect, but I think he definitely does some manscaping. Not always, he doesn’t do it all the time, but he tries to stay on top of keeping it tamed.

I = Intimacy (How are they during the moment, romantic aspect…)
I think sex with Jaehyun is kind of like bunnies, it’s erratic and unplanned and intense, I don’t think he’s very romantic in the bed. But that’s cool, he makes up for it in your relationship, but he does try to go above and beyond for special days like holidays and birthdays. But on the norm, he’s just a horny dog that needs to bury his bone.

J = Jack Off (Masturbation)
While his secret involves jerking off beside your sleeping body, he’s not shy with jerking it. Hell, you’ve even done it together a few times, he’s definitely not opposed to it. Obviously he’d much rather be buried in you, but his imagination is quite vivid, Jae’s pretty good at remembering things you’ve done together while he pumps himself in his hand. He’ll take care of himself just fine, but the moment he can, he’s hunting you down to do it right.

K = Kink (One or more of their kinks)
Jaehyun’s a marker, he likes nothing more than to mark you. Since he often walks away with red lines down his back, it’s only fair that he gets to cover you in purple flowers. He’d have to ask one day, if he could take a picture, because honestly the trail of hickies spanning from your neck, all over your chest, hips, and thighs are definitely a work of art, he’s particularly proud of them.

L = Location (Favorite places to do the do)
As expected of an NCT boy, no one wants one of the minis to see you sinning. A door with a lock is all that’s needed. Bedroom, bathroom, broom closet, non-window having practice room, anything is idea when he’s in the mood really.

M = Motivation (What turns them on, gets them going)
Sort of like Johnny with his hair, you’ve conditioned Jaehyun, because contrary to him being a horny toad, he doesn’t pick up on your subtle hints to let him know you’re in the mood. A quick squeeze of his thigh is your signal, not just a hand on his thigh, since when you’re just chilling, that’s a pretty common display of affection between the two of you. But that one little squeeze, and he instantly knows what’s coming, and he’s on you in the blink of an eye.

N = NO (Something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)
After a scare once near the beginning of your relationship, one of the minis had almost seen you, thank god for blankets though. It’s been an agreement now that if the minis are in the dorm, or around at all, sex is off limits, we have to protect the innocent children, right? Aside from that, although Jaehyun isn’t a very public sex guy, like I said as long as there’s a lock he doesn’t care, but the genuine thought of someone seeing you two in public, literally nothing turns him off more. Jae’s not into the whole idea of being watched while you two do the do.

O = Oral (Preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc)
Jaehyun’s more of a finger guy, he likes being in you buuut he never misses a chance to be between your legs, no matter what. He’s not the most gifted oral giver, he’s kind of a mess really, it’s just a warm up for the main entertainment, the same goes for you going down on him. He’s kind of fidgety in that way, he just can’t wait to be inside you that it seems a bit tedious to him.

P = Pace (Are they fast and rough? Slow and sensual? etc.)
Jaehyun is a bit of a mix, he’s fast but sensual, he’s not rough but he’s firm with his thrusts. He knows exactly where to hit, what to do, how to work you like a fiddle. Truly, no two people match together as well as you two do.

Q = Quickie (Their opinions on quickies rather than proper sex, how often, etc.)
This plays into Risk, but he’s down for a good quickie, there’s sooooo many boys around non-stop, there’s rarely a moment when you have a significant amount of time to have privacy, there’s always a mini around of Johnny’s meme ass telling dad jokes, so quickies are a very frequent occurrence. Pulling you in the bathroom for a few minutes, so no one notices you’re both gone is pretty much the norm between you two.

R = Risk (Are they game to experiment, do they take risks, etc.)
America is hyper sexual and he’s breathed us, he is infected. Literally people at my old high school just go across the street where there’s these little hidden(not really) cubbyholes and fuck in broad daylight. Bitches got an army of cars lined up and down the streets trying to pick their kids up and you standing over there on the sidewalk with a dick in you smh. Welcome to the good ol’ U S of A. Jaehyun isn’t afraid to do..well anything, with you. Honestly, you call the shots in your relationship, because he complies so easily. It’s not a surprise when he’s pulled into the McDonald’s bathroom for a quick one, he’s down for anything. Truthfully, 90% of your sex life with him, is just experimenting and having fun. Again, I’ll pray for you.

S = Stamina (How many rounds can they go for, how long do they last…)
Taeyong deadass about to pass out on the floor, then there’s Jae’s ass going from 100 to 0, how is he not dying rn. I suggest you drink lots of water before getting into bed with him, you’re going to need to stay hydrated, this boy has no off switch. I’ll pay your grave a visit, ‘died because of the dicc. rip.’

T = Toy (Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?)
Jae and you’ve certainly tried a few, handcuffs and vibrators, all that good stuff, but he’s not really into it? Don’t knock it till you’ve tried it, that his motto. He tried it, didn’t like it. He’d much rather the fun be between you and him, not between you, him, and a plastic dick.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)
Jaehyun is quite the antsy boy, he can’t handle the teasing. The fun doesn’t start until he’s in you, after all, so thank the stars that he’s too impatient to actually tease you.

V = Volume (How loud they are, what sounds they make)
I don’t think he’s very loud, he’s a talker, he likes dirty talking his way through it. A very moans might escape when he cums, but as for the sex itself, it’s him winding you up with him telling you how perfect you are, how good you feel, and what he wants to do with your pretty lil self.

W = Wild Card (Get a random headcanon for the character of your choice)
Your first time together was so laughable, of fucking course while his dick is in you, Taeyong just had to be calling Jae’s phone to see if he wanted dinner, and of course it had to be Baby Don’t Like It because what else would it ever be? Just the sound of the bed springs in the song and the bed sounds you two were making, you two just had to stop and burst out laughing. Never did call Taeyong back though…poor leader…

X = X-Ray (Let’s see what’s going on in those pants, picture or words)
I asked Nana about this lmao, she’s the dick whisperer……anyways, she said he’s not very long, pretty average(average is like…5 inches hard)in that area, but he’s got the girth to make up for it. Add that to his jackrabbit self, and you got yourself a good dicc.

Y = Yearning (How high is their sex drive?)
I think he has quite a high sex drive, one of the highest of the members, he’s ready to go at any moment, just give him the signal.

Z = ZZZ (… how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)
Again, how is he not passing out?? Jae isn’t one to get tried easily, you might be passed out cold the second his dick leaves you, but he’s fine and dandy. He might go make tomorrow’s lunch or something, he’s not tired at all, if anything, he’s more energized than when you two started.

Jake English fucking loves booty shorts, guys. Also: Dirk Strider.

I really could not believe it when I heard some people say Jake wears booty shorts because Dirk is a Predatory Gay and made him do so, but here we are. In any case, it took me forever to realize this, so it’s worth pointing out.

Jake uses his clothes to express his inclinations more than maybe any other one of the kids. Jake himself foreshadows his future inclination towards gear that shows off his ass…ets:

Frankly, I don’t think much else needs to be said there? There’s a canonical reason Jake dresses the way he dresses, and that reason is that Jake likes tomb raiders and sexy-looking action heroines, and he wants to be a sexy action hero and look sexy doing it. That’s really all there is to it.

…Or it would be, except that unlike Jake’s relationship with fighting, Jake actually experiences struggles and complications relating to looking sexy, and becomes insecure and vulnerable due to the way people treat him as a sex object.

It’s no surprise this happens. Jake has a list of sexual/romantic voyeurs and aggressors, and his discomfort and trauma in this area is an integral part of his character. 

Early on, Obviously, there’s the AR, who’s lasciviousness is so well-documented I don’t think it’s worth repeating here. 

But Dirk breaks it down nicely for us. Dirk himself makes no appearance on this list, seeing as he had no control over the AR and never even remotely speaks to Jake that way when they talk to each other.

Brobot is often accused of being a sexual aggressor as well. This belief is based on two quotes from the story:

This one, from AR. The thing is, AR is known for being pretty hyperbolic and overly sexual about pretty much all situations–kind of like a 13 year kid would be, you know? 

What Jake himself says about the Brobot’s actions is much more indicative of the nature of the Brobot’s actions. Specifically:

Jake describes the Brobot as tender. And Tender is a specific word with specific, almost memetic meaning in Homestuck:

A meaning that only a juvenile teenager LIKE the Auto-Responder would consider sexual. Or at least, someone similarly trapped in immaturity.


Yeah. I know fanon is really pervasive about this idea that the Brobot was on the list of sexual aggressors, but the only real implication the canon itself makes is that it was doing tame proposals and handholds like this. That’s what Jake is referring to. It becomes problematic for him, but only because of the AR’s taunting and the fact that he and Dirk can’t figure out how to talk about it. 

Brain Ghost Dirk makes some comments to this effect, however–likely reflecting the way the AR has messed with Jake’s head and successfully made him conflate the way the AR sees him and the way Dirk sees him. Even after the AR stops being an active presence in Jake’s life, it still makes its impact known through BGD’s characterization. 

We also have no reason to believe Dirk even knows Brain Ghost Dirk exists, let alone has any active say in what he says or how he acts, either. BGD is, after all, predominantly Jake’s brain–and thus a reflection of, at best, how he THINKS Dirk sees him. 

Note how even though Jake fully expects Brain Ghost Dirk to make lascivious and leery comments to him, he never expects Brain Ghost Dirk to try to touch him in a way he doesn’t want to be touched. On top of that, In fact, Jake makes a point of noting that Dirk is more conscientious towards him than either the AR or Brain Ghost Dirk:

And then, of course Jane literally threatens Jake with sexual slavery (while corrupted by an evil supercomputer):

So yeah, Jake is pretty uncomfortable with being seen as sexy by the time Aranea gets to him. It wouldn’t be unreasonable if the idea of being seen as sexy–or even just wearing short shorts–was ruined for him completely.

It wouldn’t even be unreasonable if his image of Dirk was tarnished, even though Dirk wasn’t really responsible for what was happening any more than he was. 

But different people respond to trauma differently. And once Aranea objectifies him completely and renders him a tool–literally lightning him up and making it so ALL EYES are on him right when Jake feels most exposed and vulnerable, Jake responds in a pretty peculiar way.

With his Hope powers unlocked, Jake could theoretically do anything. Send hordes of angels to attack, make himself invisible, bring Grandma back from the dead…given what Jake actually ends up doing, it doesn’t make much sense to imagine arbitrary limits on his power. Because what Jake does when he needs to feel safe is make his imaginary friend real.


Again: Making something fake real is, by definition, pretty much the hardest thing to do–both in real life, and to convey compellingly narratively. 

Even Jake teleporting his grandma from the past and reviving her to come protect him would be more reasonable a storytelling move than Jake being able to create matter and a personality out of thin air. You would only need Time and Space powers to theoretically pull of that absurd feat, so it would technically be possible to accomplish.

Making your imaginary friend real, though? That’s completely impossible for everyone, everywhere. Except for Jake English. 

But Jake English can do anything, which means what we actually does reflects not only what he wants, but what he wants MORE than anything else possible to him. 

And what he wants is Dirk Strider, coming to his rescue and keeping him safe from his latest aggressor. Kinda like Brobot always protected Jake from feeling unsafe when he was threatened:

Brain Ghost Dirk even calls himself Jake’s boyfriend, and this is after Dirk broke up with him and he worried about not being able to love anyone:

And right before Dirk breaks them off, while Jake is in trickster form and completely uninhibited, he confesses feelings to Dirk and makes a point to note he was willing to be romantically involved with him:

And luckily, as for his relationship with his shorts, Jake had a good pal give him some advice and boost his self-confidence:

And over the course of [S] Credits, Jake apparently patches things up enough with Dirk that they’re living together and can comfortably fight for fun like he always wanted. On top of that, he’s recovered his confidence in his image enough that he can act out the sexy superhero fantasy he loved so much:

Both his relationship with Dirk and his relationship with his body are sorted out, and Jake’s now happy and comfortable with himself. How it happened, exactly? Who knows–there’s as many different ways it could’ve gone down as you can imagine. But the fact is, it did. And it was laid out this way from the beginning. 

What’s the exact nature of Dirk and Jake’s arrangement? Not really relevant. What we know is that they’re living together, that Jake was always willing to have a relationship with him and that never stopped being a thing, and that Jake trusts Dirk with his safety over literally anything else.

What we know is that they’re best friends and mutually romantically interested in each other, whether or not they decide to pursue that. 

We also know Jake always liked dressing sexy so long as he was safe and didn’t have to worry about people dehumanizing him. And in this new world, he can do that as much as he wants, too:

Anyway Jake English is the best character in Homestuck and he’s happy with his boyfriend Dirk canonically, and he’s also happy and comfortable with his body while doing it because that was never the issue when he was with Dirk.

Tomorrow I should be following this up with one last Jake post–this one talking about how Jake is way way smarter than everyone thinks he is. You know. Except for Dirk, who explicitly knows Jake is smart. 

After that, we can move on to Roxy. If you’re interested in my writing, I’m also working on a youtube series aiming to make Homestuck understandable to a broad audience you can find here. Next episode should be dropping before the end of the weekend. 

See you again soon. Keep Rising. 

This Valentine’s Day I’d like to share a few things with you. I’m 19 years old and:

I have never had sex in my life
I have never dated anyone in real life (so not on the Internet)
I have never kissed anyone
I have never been on a date
I have never even held hands with someone romantically
I literally have never even been close to dating anyone in real life

Not because I don’t want to or because I’m picky. Because no one has ever asked me out or showed affection for me or even flirted with me. I don’t think anyone irl has ever fancied me, or if they did they never let me know in any way.

And you know what? I don’t care. I moved on from feeling abnormal and broken and not whole. I refuse to connect my value as a person to those things. I will not allow myself to think of myself as less because I have never done any of those things. Yes maybe my self-esteem still relies on my uni grades or good reviews of my works but I finally stopped thinking that there is something wrong with me for not experiencing those things.

I feel happy and whole anyway. I survived every crush who didn’t return my feelings and every instance of being attracted to someone and knowing they do not like me back. I survived and moved on.

And today I’d like you to turn to things you really value in your life. Your jobs and talents and hobbies and passions. Your family and friends and pets and even house plants. Your favorite books and bands and TV-shows and video games. Your favorite ice-cream and favorite pair of jeans and favorite plush toys.

There are so many people and things you love. There are, I hope, things that make you happy. Focus on them. And screw the society that tells you that you need relationships to know that you are loved. You are already loved. Don’t let society ever persuade you otherwise.

bfu wwii era jazz big band au

i know that sounds hella confusing BUT im sososososo very distracted from my math/english homework and can’t stop thinking about this so here we go

im a Big Nerd and I when i really got into big band jazz i instantly brought my fave bois Shane and Ryan into this au (and now i guess worth it squad and potentially the try guys too) and will probably never have time to write this so here we go

  • set around 1944
  • Shane plays the piano mainly but he can also sometimes sing [see piano player in this video and now imagine shane as the pianist and ryan as the singer k bye also yes this is where i keep on basing most of my au from] and play the alto sax
  • Ryan is a trumpet player
  • the band is rather mixed in race, which would cause it to be unpopular/controversial at the time, but because of the raw talent in it made their songs hit the charts anyways
  • you bet my ass that as soon as soon as they found out famous Glenn Miller disappeared december 13th of 1944 that ryan and shane teamed up to investigate this
  • for the try guys in the band, ned is definitely a trombone (sorry i dont make the decisions), eugene is that one (tenor) saxophone who was originally a clarinet but plays both better than you can ever hope anyways, zach is an alto sax, and keith is also a trombone
  • steven is a trumpet too (two lol) and andrew is the bari sax
  • help i need at the very least a drummer and bassist and a guitarist if not more horn players they can be side characters for now tho
  • of course theres war angst if they go and travel to europe to perform
  • look i hastily and disorganizedly slapped together a set of songs (from my own playlist) on spotify that theyd play for example from that era (hopefully before 1944 otherwise soon after)
  • originally, it was shane who actually recruited ryan to the band cause they met somehow and jammed and was really impressed with ryan’s skills
  • they still jam a lot just the two of them, and shane will often just play stuff for ryan like axeman’s jazz and any scott joplin
  • all of them just being all around great and a saving grace to everyone in war times, even if they aint as popular as the tommy banks big band or the glenn miller big band
  • guess itd have to be called the buzzfeed big band
  • brent was once in it but left (probably a saxophone) and wasn’t very remembered (was in it before they really hit it big)
  • edit: two words - fancy suits

please add anything else to this/i will add more on later but it is also midnight and have no idea what im doing

Prof: You should publish this essay in this specific journal.

Me: No. This was for your class. I don’t actually know anything.

Prof: This is my area of expertise. These are interesting arguments.

Me: Haha. No. This is not good enough to be published. 

Prof: I’m literally the person who decides that. 

Me: …If I publish it other people might read it.

Prof: …What do you think grad school is for exactly?

Me: 

anonymous asked:

Hey, I really like your fic recs and wanted to let you know I appreciate them , also could you recommend me some super long fics , I'm kinda new so I don't mind the #classics Thank you and 😘😘

Thank youuuu! So nice! Let me present to you, the 10 longest Drarry fics I’ve read* (*that I love enough to want to rec to you & everyone else):

Secrets by Vorabiza (411k)
Beginning with Draco’s unexpected arrival at the Dursleys, Harry’s summer after sixth year becomes filled with activity and many secrets. As his summer progresses, Harry generates several unexpected allies as he finds himself actively becoming the leader of the Light side.
(I have about ten thousand favorite scenes in this fic, it is SO much fun, I love the characters, BAMF!Harry, the sweet Drarry, the details of the plot etc.)

Cunning and Ambition by MinaAndChao (371k)
Harry Potter has found out he’s a wizard and is on his way Hogwarts. He is found by a boy on the train. Who knew one simple sentence and one simple gesture could change history? A Slytherin!Harry AU.
(Tear my heart out, why don’t you? This fic kills me, it’s the canon rewrite I always wanted. Much darker, more emotional. I’ve read it many times.)

Foundations!verse by Sara’s Girl (a total of 364k)
Harry is about to discover that the steepest learning curve comes after Healer training, and that second chances can be found in unexpected places.
(This entire ‘verse is SO wonderful, you are going to fall so hard for this Harry and Draco. A+ characterizations, such sweet domestic fluff, EVERYTHING!)

Turn, by Sara’s Girl (306k)
One good turn always deserves another. Apparently. 
(I have too many words about how much I adore this fic, see my dissertation on the topic here. Beautiful story, amazing characters, excellent writing.)

Malfoy Flavor by Vorabiza (222k)
Harry’s ready to banish the Golden Boy image and take charge of his life. Unfortunately for him, or fortunately, there are surprises in store for him.
(Fic aesthetic by me. I always have such fun with this one, I’ve read it multiple times. Very pro-Slytherin, secret identities, badass!Harry, sweetness…)

Big Dick, Come Quick by Calanthe (204k)
Draco’s got a theory. About sex. After much searching for the right candidate, it appears that only Harry Potter, his life long enemy, can help him test it out.
(This one is amazingly hot, amazingly fluffy, and sooo sweet. Might not be ideal to read in public, but I think it’s well worth a read or five. Lovely Drarry.)

Draco’s Boy by empathic siren (186k)
A mysterious little boy named Harry moves in next door to Draco Malfoy, and he’s determined to make him his friend and learn all of his secrets. Years later, he’s determined to make Harry more than a friend.
(I feel like this fic shortened my life with at least ten years, THAT’S HOW MUCH I CRIED. Sweet baby!Harry deserved better. Perfect for you angst-lovers.)

Temptation on the Warfront by alizarincrims0n (180k)
Draco Malfoy is forced into hiding with the Golden Trio and dragged into their search for horcruxes. What ensues is a journey of redemption, unexpected friendships and an unwanted, turbulent romance with Harry Potter.
(Omggg this fic. Harry and Draco have such passion in this, there’s so much desperation, and the angst, oh it hurts. Another favorite of mine.)

All Our Secrets Laid Bare by firethesound (149k)
Over the six years Draco Malfoy has been an Auror, four of his partners have turned up dead. Harry Potter is assigned as his newest partner to investigate just what is going on.
(Love. This. Fic. I have so many headcanons thanks to this one. Great writing, and wonderful pining, also humor, badass magic, Death Eather safe houses…)

Consequences of Redemption by bobbirose (120k)
When Draco makes an impromptu decision to rescue Harry Potter from Malfoy Manor, the two find themselves alone and facing the looming climax of the war against Voldemort. Harry must start from the beginning with Draco–and starting over has more consequences than either of them anticipated.
(This one is all fluffy fun and sweetness, I mean they’re ADORABLE… until it casually decides to ruin your life. It’s not like I needed a heart anyway.)

Upon realizing she was failing Potions, and possibly wouldn’t be accepted into the Auror program, Nymphadora Tonks decided to do whatever she had to do sixth year to get her Potions NEWT. 

Receiving the grade involved three things: her newfound ability to change her features to match a photograph, a picture of a young red-headed woman laughing, and Snape’s utter lack of remorse

The utter disgusting-ness of what she’s done makes her realize, six years into her Hogwarts career, that she really is a Hufflepuff after all - that she values hard work, patience, and honesty. That she should have valued them a little more before slipping behind a closed door with Snape, before letting him call her Lily, before learning things about the school’s worst teacher that she will never be able to unsee. 

It’s after that unfortunate experience that she decides, NEWT or no NEWT…she’s going to earn her grade, and her spot as an Auror. Because she’s a Hufflepuff, goddammit. And Hufflepuffs don’t cheat for the grade.

@cpt-starlord - this is your fault.

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There’s something I’d like to say about Oscar Wilde. First of, Wilde used to be my favourite writer throughout my teens and he still holds a special place in my heart. Back when it was still possible, I even went to Paris and placed a rose at his grave. That’s how much I adore Wilde. I’m sure he did some problematic stuff. I actually know he did. He was a Victorian after all. But there’s this one thing that keeps happening over and over and I’d like to see it stop. “Oh my god, Oscar Wilde was so sexist.” That. That right there. I see this backed up with quotes like, “Women are a decorative sex. They never have anything to say, but they say it charmingly.” I also see this quote and other sexist quotes attributed directly to Oscar Wilde on websites and such. But please, consider this:

Oscar Wilde never said this. You know who said this? Lord Henry Wotton did. “Who exactly is Lord Henry Wotton?”, you might ask. Well, Lord Henry Wotton is a character from Wilde’s novel The Picture of Dorian Gray, published in 1891. He is an important character and you should really read the novel if you want to know more about this, but the question is: Are we supposed to like Wotton? Many modern readers sure do. They love him. He is portrayed by Colin Firth in the 2009 film adaption and shown to be the real hero of the film (this is very different in the book. Just saying in case you only know the film). Truth is, I think you’re not supposed to like him. He is sexist. He talks about rebelling against society but he never does, just tells his friends to and watches whilst they crash and burn. And he is safe, never risking anything, never stepping out of line. There’s a subtle irony to whatever he says and does and I don’t think it was lost on Wilde’s fellow Victorians as it is lost on most modern readers.

Lord Henry Wotton, witty Henry Wotton who everyone seems to adore these days with his sexist comments and boasting personality is not supposed to be liked at all. I’m pretty sure a lot of interpretations of his character tell you exactly that – whatever he says in these books, whatever he does, the advice he gives leads to absolute catastrophe in the end. Lord Henry is not supposed to be taken seriously and actually listened to. And yet I see him quoted all the time and – worse – I see his quotes attributed to Oscar Wilde as though he said these things, as though he really believed them, when in fact he never did. We, as modern readers, read Dorian Gray differently from how Victorians read it. Society changes, it’s perfectly normal. But I think this is well worth knowing before we go: “Ugh, Oscar Wilde was such a misogynist.” He was very much not.

I don’t want this post to continue on forever, so let’s just look at some stuff: When Oscar Wilde became the editor of the Lady’s World magazine, he renamed it Woman’s World and instead of just writing about fashion as the magazine did before, he added articles about politics, culture and the likes. Topics that in Victorian England were thought to be too much for a woman’s mind, topics that were not thought of as women’s topics at all. Wilde, along with his wife Constance, also was an advocate of rational dress – meaning dress that didn’t endanger women’s health and lives. Oscar Wilde lost both his half-sisters when their impractical, wide skirts caught fire during a party and they burned to death, so I guess he knew what he was talking about here.

And Lord Henry Wotton’s quotes? I guess it’s safe to say that Wilde fully intended each and every thing Lord Henry says to be utter rubbish. Victorian England was sexist and Lord Henry Wotton is supposed to be a mirror of that exact society – Wilde however (who never fit in himself) held a mirror up to exactly that society. The whole of Dorian Gray is actually just Wilde saying: “This is you, this is our society and this is what it does to people.” And Victorians understood that. There’s a reason Dorian Gray was harshly criticised after it was published and contrary to popular belief it was not just about the homosexual subtext (which also plays into Wilde’s critique of Victorian society as a whole) but also about how Wilde was not playing by the rules of Victorian society which made the book “immoral” in the eyes of many a reader.

So before going and declaring Oscar Wilde a big old misogynist maybe consider this and consider too that the sexist quotes you can find attributed to Wilde were actually said by his characters and meant to criticise the exact thing modern readers accuse Wilde of. There’s this lovely quote (this time by Wilde himself) about how Lord Henry Wotton is how people see him, Basil Hallward is how he sees himself and Dorian Gray is what he would like to be – in other ages perhaps. And we still make that mistake today: We take Lord Henry Wotton to be a carbon copy of Oscar Wilde himself when in fact the two are nothing alike. And I think people should know this. Oscar Wilde is often mistaken as some kind of air-headed, shallow hedonist, when in fact he was highly critical of his own society and its morals which led to his spectacular downfall only a few years after Dorian Gray was published.

I’m pretty sure all of this has been said before and said better than I ever could too but it’s been bothering me lately. I saw Wilde being misquoted and people holding up Lord Henry Wotton as some kind of witty, lovable character a lot lately and this just feels so wrong. I could say so much more but this is already too long so I’ll stop right here. Please note that I’m no literary critic, I’m a historian who really loves Wilde and researched him, his works and his significance to Victorian society and social changes a lot. I’m no literary critic but I know this: Authors and their characters are not the same thing, they’re not interchangeable. Characters are more like tools writers use to communicate messages. Lord Henry Wotton is not Oscar Wilde. Lord Henry Wotton is Wilde’s tool to criticise Victorian society and I think it’s a shame that so many people keep misreading this. 

I love Harry for who he is, not for the Harry I can put on a pedestal.

He’s flawed, he’s more normal than we pretend he is, and he’s also just as talented as we know he is. He’s a human being. He isn’t an innovator at everything he does, sometimes he’s just Harry.