“I want to take a moment to talk about you and your idea, because it’s something I always need to remember.
“So, you, as
a screenwriter of a story that you came up with—you are the only person in the
process who will ever truly be alone with that story. You are a mother holding
their baby. You are pregnant with it. It’s in your head. No matter
how complicated the process of writing it, ultimately it is a piece of you.
This is a business and it’s also an art. I always get kinda disgusted when
people talk endlessly about the idea that their art is “part of them”—but it is! It is! It’s as part of them as the words coming out of their mouth, as the things
they say to their friends, as the things you build with your hands, the food
you cook… It’s all a sort of extrapolation of you.
though things can get diluted and get ruined—or never sell—or never make you
any money—or come out and do badly—or get torn apart by a director who you
thought would be perfect and then betrays you—or get torn apart by critics—or,
you know, succeed: always keep in mind that the thing you do when you’re alone,
when you’re writing it, when it’s still part of you, is special. That’s special!
That’s the act of creation! Not even most humans can do that! So if you wrote
something—maybe it sucks. Maybe it’s great. I don’t know. I haven’t read it. Maybe
you think it sucks. Maybe you hate it. Maybe you’re like “I hate everything I
write!” Maybe you’re one of those people. I don’t get those people, but maybe
you’re one of those people. Maybe you’re someone who’s a fanboy of their own
stuff. Great! Please never forget, no matter how far you feel from the work,
that it started inside you. That’s special. That’s a unique thing. And on some
level you should—even if you’re just writing fanfiction for the internet—be proud
Note: Aaaaand I really suck at keeping up with the ‘deadlines’. This was supposed to be posted ages ago, but life happened, a.k.a. school. Plus, my dread with writing endings. But hey! at least I got to write it. Hahaha!
Special thanks to Sikah, as always, for getting this far with me. Lol. And to Donia!!! ;) Your comments were really helpful.
It would be awesome if anyone reading this would also extend this thanks to these two lovely people~ haha
It evoked feelings
of carnage she didn’t know existed within the depths of her being.
held it once. In training where she was supposed to defend herself and protect
others. Taeyong had been very specific and firm in his words.
“Only use it when absolutely necessary.”
count as one? she wondered.
herself. And to protect him.
at the helpless figure lying face down on the immaculate floor of Dong
It was so
clear it even reflected her menacing figure and the bloodlust smirk on her
red-painted lips. Y/N almost didn’t recognize herself in the bright red gown
that accentuated the shade of her skin. The diamond jewelries, that must have
been Taeyong’s demand, sparkled in the light.
remembered why she was there. A gathering of Sicheng’s business partners over
was evil in her eyes.
blood pooled, gushing out of his open wound, making a small river, coming and
resting beneath her feet, staining her glittery heeled party shoes.
suit which he wore slowly became soiled. His white hair was disheveled from
their struggle earlier followed by his immediate fall.
lifted up his face to meet hers. His big dark eyes no longer sparkled. They
were imploring her for mercy.
Taeyong sounded weak and breathless. The pain from his gunshot must have been
unbearable now, Y/N deduced. Yet, instead of feeling sympathy, it gave her a
sense of satisfaction that he was suffering.
As a payment
for everything Taeyong has done to her and to him.
at him, Y/N raised her hands and locked them in position. Nestled in her
perfectly manicured hands was a silver handgun, a Magnum, the most powerful in
reflection stared back at her on the cold metal of the gun.
There was no
longer an ounce of pity within her.
With a last
smirk, Y/N pulled the trigger.
Y/N felt surreal
as she couldn’t shake off the last vestiges of her dream. No. Nightmare.
Everything felt real. From the details of her red dress to her painted nails, even Taeyong’s suit. It felt foreboding, even as Y/N tried to ignore it.
had arrived at the venue which was lavishly decorated. Dong Sicheng, more
commonly known as Winwin to his acquaintances and business partners, did not
hold back with the decorations.
had been bright. The gigantic chandelier that hung above them illuminated
everything. Elaborate floral arrangements were the centerpieces of maybe a
hundred cloth-covered tables, each with expensive china for dinnerware.
Gaze Association only sent a small party of representatives: Taeyong and his
closest friends, Ten, Yuta, and Donghyuck, and of course, her.
she was thankful the firm pressure of Taeyong’s grip on her wrist, though
edging on painful, was keeping her grounded to reality.
whispered, wincing at how tight his grip was that it would surely leave a mark.
Only a cold
hard gaze met her in reply.
her to see the traces of the old Taeyong were gone. She shook her head. No. Even
if what he was showing her was the detached side he was known for, Y/N knew Lee
Taeyong was still in there somewhere.
leaving my side.” His voice came out hard like stone. Unyielding.
she couldn’t help but ask. Her stubbornness, which caused trouble for her, was
warned her. “You’re not going away…You’re not leaving me.”
part came out as a whisper.
didn’t understand was what Taeyong was so afraid of? It was not like she could
run away. There was nowhere for her to go because his mafia family will always
find her and her family.
that, she did not want to leave his side.
going to, Tae,” Y/N whispered back. She hoped her words would reassure him. “I’m
not going anywhere. I’m not leaving you.”
one last look at her and for a moment, the unfeeling shell he had put on
himself momentarily melted until he must have seen how shifty her eyes were,
trying to observe the surroundings that he decided that she was lying and was back
to being cold again.
again at Taeyong’s harsh grip on her. She met his eyes and he with hers. There
was a moment of silence where they tried to size each other up before she first
never gonna let me go, are you?” she whispered again. Her mind wandered back to
her dream. Taeyong looked helpless then, contrary to how dangerous he looked
his firm answer.
there was a mic feedback, indicating an announcement of new arrivals.
Taeyong freeze. His grip on her wrist almost unbearable. It will surely leave a
his face, she saw how his demeanor changed. His eyes became more intense and
alert, ready for any sort of confrontation. His jaw and lips were set in a
tight line. And although he kept his expression neutral, Y/N could tell they
were his enemies.
had never heard they existed until now.
didn’t understand why he was so charged towards said mafia until she spun
around to see who they were.
Taeyong and his posse wore all black, White Phantoms were the total opposites.
wore white ensembles with accents of gold-plated metal and brown leather. Yet,
Y/N had long learned to not be fooled because even the lightness of their
clothes did little to hide their ruthless aura.
And in the
middle of it all, Y/N saw a familiar face.
all of them had been familiar to her. She had met them at the front of the
coffee shop and even went to an amusement park.
‘Doyoung, Mark, and Taeil.’
focus wasn’t on them, but rather on the single person leading the group.
dawned on her why he was lethal in fights and why he was capable with a gun.
was falling into pieces.
staring into the familiar face of Jung Jaehyun.
squeezed her hand and tried to shield her from the sight. But she stepped to
side. She wanted to see. Jaehyun, especially.
How could he?
expression momentarily flitted across his face before a steely one replaced it
as it dawned on him where her loyalties lie.
The air was
charged, almost electric. She could tell both mafia groups could not be in the
same room without trouble breaking. Glares were exchanged as well as
high-caliber guns were being displayed.
so palpable one could cut it with a knife.
free out of Taeyong’s hold to run over to Jaehyun and to talk to him, but she
didn’t even get a chance.
shot rang loud and clear in the area and soon, chaos broke. She was lost in the
bodies rushing for cover.
her well-trained eyes, Y/N failed to see who fired first.
gunshots erupted. To her, it seemed to come from everywhere all at once. Women,
who came to celebrate, screamed as they sought for safety. Glasses broke as
they were shoved off overturned tables.
supposed to be a night of celebration quickly descended to hell as both groups
host, Winwin, could do nothing to stop the war-like chaos that ensued.
cacophony almost made her go deaf. She didn’t even know where to run or seek
shelter. That was until a hand reached out to grab hers.
she was staring into the wide and alert eyes of Jaehyun.
said, a little breathless from the commotion. In his hand was a silver Magnum. The one she held in her dream.
“Let go of
The two of
them froze at the sound of Taeyong’s harsh tone. They both turned towards the
source of his voice and saw the young heir of the Dark Gaze Association
standing at the bottom of the grand staircase.
still pandemonium all around them, but for a moment, it seemed that the three
of them were locked in their own world where time slowed down.
his golden Magnum trained on Jaehyun’s chest. Moving a single muscle, Y/N
assumed, would result to instant death, perhaps, not only Jaehyun’s but also
didn’t even get to finish his command as a shot rang from somewhere and hit him
on the back.
everything seemed to be in slow motion. There was a pounding in her heart as
she witnessed Taeyong’s body fall on the pristine floor. Her eyes could only
widen in shock as she searched everywhere for the assailant. Only, she found
when she wanted to run to him, her body remained rooted to the spot. She could
only watch in horror as his blood soon pooled underneath him.
It was just
like in her dream.
was about to run to him when Jaehyun held her.
rest of his group rushed to his aid.
fluid motion, Jaehyun cocked his gun and trained it on Taeyong’s almost still
body. Y/N watched as his eyes were drained with humanity.
intent on firing.
in her eyes as she threw her arms around Jaehyun to stop him.
like that for a moment before she heard someone grunt behind her. To her
horror, as she spun towards the sound, Taeyong tried to stand up, held by the
keeping you from shooting me?” Taeyong coughed before spitting out some of the
blood on to the floor.
get you patched up,” Ten said, face stoic but eyes worried.
keeping silent as he held Taeyong under his arms, and it was only Yuta who was
glaring at Y/N, as if already tagging her as an enemy.
replied with a leveled voice. Then with a smirk, he added, “And I’m going to
enjoy taking everything away from
Y/N by her right arm and twisted it so it was now at the back. She recoiled at
the pain. Never did she imagine Jaehyun to turn out rough.
There were a
couple more excruciating coughs from Taeyong. His breath became more ragged by
the second. However, he managed to say, “Casper…no.”
Y/N’s chest ache to see Taeyong in so much pain, but as a last attempt to save
him from getting shot, she tried to face Jaehyun with her arm in danger of
go with you,” Y/N managed to say in a calm manner even when her insides were
rattling in panic.
She tried to
look into his eyes, and it registered hurt for a moment before it was replaced
with a cruel one. A bitter smirk crossed his lips, and he no longer looked like
the Jaehyun she knew.
leaned closer to her.
itself made Taeyong’s blood boil. He would have shot Jaehyun if he weren’t in
such a weak state.
“How does it feel that she chose me, hyung?” Jaehyun said the honorific in a mocking way.
Taeyong’s eye flew to her, begging for her to stay. “Y/N, please don’t.”
face Taeyong again, she smiled bravely. “I’ll make this right again, Tae. I
Y/N.” Jaehyun tugged on her arm and pulled her away from him, from his group,
nothing else Y/N could do as she was dragged away from the scene.
“Promise me you won’t hurt him,” Y/N managed to tell Jaehyun even with her difficult position.
However, a wicked smile crossed his lips.
“I no longer make promises.”
like that, she was taken away by Jaehyun.
Note: And it’s finally done! Can you also tell that I’ve been delaying this ending because I hate writing endings so much? But now this is done, I can move on to other fics.
As always, I would like to say thank you to everyone who has read and loved this series. For sending me messages as well as participating in the polls.
And since it’s only like an hour before Christmas, I hope you all will have a Merry one! :D
P.S. This may or may not get a sequel in the future. ;)
just as he does every summer, crosby returned home. where he’s no more a hockey player than a son, brother, friend, philanthropist and hockey school instructor. this is a first person account of a kid named sidney. in the town that helped him become sid the kid. (watch here)