well this was fun to make~

anonymous asked:

for the tropes! maybe a matchmaker au?

[put a fanfic trope in my inbox and I’ll describe the fic I’d write!]

OKAY BUT HOW CAN I DO THIS WITHOUT MAKING SHITTY THE MATCHMAKER.

Shitty knows a lot and he knows he knows it. So when the illustrious Jack Zimmermann comes into his “relationship clinic,” Shitty has a thousand pieces of advice for him. First of all, Jack should learn to enjoy himself a little. Nobody wants to date a boy who’s not into having fun. Loosen up. And learn how to make conversation. And maybe learn to flatter a little. Shitty will fix him up with a nice girl, but Shitty’s going to recommend his favorite dating coach, Eric Bittle, to give Jack some lessons on how to treat a lady.

Eric Bittle has a thousand words of advice for Jack as well. They do a mock date, and Eric says things like “Okay, Jack, right now I’m eyeing my phone about to send a text to my best friend telling her to rescue me.” “Jack, I’m stifling a yawn and starting to look at the cute guy in the booth behind us.” “Mr. Zimmermann, that is the sort of thing that would make some girls walk out.”

Jack’s frustrated. Shitty fixes him up with a girl named Samantha, and Jack finds that Eric’s admonishments were scarily accurate. They break down the date later. Eric assures him that he’s not a hopeless case, that he gave it a good honest try, and that’s more than a lot of guys will even give.

Next lesson with Eric. Technique. Literally, how to eat and drink. How to dance. Eric’s as small as some girls, so he gives Jack a dance lesson. Jack’s never enjoyed dancing before, but holding Eric by the waist and guiding him around the dance floor is fun. Fun, due in no small part to the sparkle in Eric’s eyes.

Shitty matches him up with a girl named Camilla. This one goes a lot better. They talk sports, which is great, and Jack pretty much succeeds at the whole technique thing. But the thing is, Jack’s not feeling it. It’s one thing to perform well, but it’s another to have it feel like a performance. He doesn’t have the same rapport with Camilla as he does with Eric. It doesnt feel right.

Shitty frowns at this. “Brah, can I ask you a question?” he says to Jack. “Are you into men?”

Jack shakes his head fiercely. “It has to be a woman,” he says. “It has to. I’m in the NHL.”

Shitty looks at him for a long moment, opens his mouth to speak, and then sighs. “All right,” he says. “You’re the client.”

Third lesson with Eric devolves into a conversation on expectations and feelings. “How will I know when it’s the right person?” Jack asks.

“Oh, honey. You’ll know,” Eric says. “She’ll be easy to talk to. You’ll want to spend more time with her. You won’t want the night to end.”

Jack doesn’t know about that, but he does know that he doesn’t want this lesson to end. Ever.

Jack returns to Shitty and tells him he needs a girl who’s easy to talk to. Shitty frowns and says, “Okay, all right. I don’t usually do this, but I’m gonna set you up with a close personal friend of mine. Larissa’s low-key, she’s smart, she’s interesting… she might be perfect for you. Sound good?”

She does sound good, and Jack’s actually finding he’s somewhat excited for this date. And Larissa is easy to talk to. Better yet, she’s easy to not talk to… the pauses in their conversation are not awkward. Jack definitely feels a connection with her. If there’s a hitch in this date, it’s that Larissa seems to talk about Shitty a little too much.

But when the end of the night comes, and they’re at Larissa’s door – Jack doesn’t want to kiss her. He wants her number, but he wants it so he can text her. Maybe hang out once in a while. But not date. Not kiss, not hold hands with.

Larissa frowns at him. “You’re thinking of someone else,” she says flatly.

And she’s absolutely right.

Jack makes an appointment for a lesson with Eric, and the minute they’re together again, Jack tells him. “I want you,” he says. “I want to date you. No one else.”

Eric’s hesitant, but his eyes are shining. “Oh, Jack, honey,” he says. “That’s not uncommon, for people to think they’ve fallen for their dating coach. It’s an illusion. Because we connected during lessons, it doesn’t mean we really–”

“We really,” Jack says. “I really.”

Eric stares, lost for words. Jack fills in the blanks. “I want to go on dates with you,” he says. “I want to hold hands with you, I want to dance just like we were dancing before. I want to talk to you all night long. I want to wake up next to you. You’re who I was thinking of when I was on those dates. I’m not making this up. It’s for real. You said I’d know…. and I know.”

And now there are tears in Eric’s eyes. “Are… are you sure?”

Jack nods emphatically.

“I– I told myself I was just imagining it,” Eric mumbles. “I told myself, now look here, Eric Richard Bittle, he’s just another client. Another one of the hot messes Shitty works with. Just because he’s doing well at the lessons doesn’t mean–”

Jack shuts him up with a kiss.

Afterward, as they hold each other, Jack says, “You know, Shitty’s a really good matchmaker.”

Eric laughs. “You think?”

“Absolutely.” Jack gives him a grin. “I fell for the very first person he recommended.”

anonymous asked:

headcanons for how the guys react when they find a cute little list their s/o make in a journal or something about all the things they appreciate about them ♥

So because of my tattoo placement, I have to hold my arm really awkwardly over my keyboard so this’ll be a few weeks of fun and shoulder pain on this side hahahaha oh well…This is an adorable idea so I have to do it. It’s also mashing with another request of giving it to the boys as a gift!

When you hand a little, blue leather-bound journal over to Noctis, he’s a little confused, like, what is it and why are you giving it to him? Sit him down somewhere and get ready for him to become a stuttering mess as soon as he opens the cover and sees a little heart drawn around your scrawled handwriting that reads: to my prince. His jaw drops and his eyes light up, but he can’t find the words to express just what he’s feeling. Page by page, he flips through and reads all of the little things that you love about him: his eyes, his laugh, the way he holds you close early in the morning when he hasn’t woken yet, his compassion, the way he sings…And it goes on. There’s a reason that you love him for every day of the year, and on each page are little stickers. Some are fish, some are puppies, and then you’ve also doodled little figures of you two holding hands. Noctis is smiling ear to ear, cheeks are flushed, and his whole body feels warm and happy. Rather than express his thanks in words, he sets the book to the side and wraps his arms around you, pulling you against him in a tight embrace. Noctis considers himself imperfect, and yet you spent your time to make this to tell him that he is perfect. Every single part of him, body and mind, was worth the time and love. He was a prince with a doomed fate; how did he get this lucky?

The cover of the scrapbook is a pale shade of yellow, but not quite pastel, and it honestly makes you think of chocobos so it makes a perfect gift for Prompto. Inside, the little pictures sleeves are filled with some of the pictures that you’ve secretly taken with your own camera. There’s candids upon candids of Prompto, a few selfies, and even more shots of where you’ve traveled to. When you tell him you have something for him, he’s immediately a giddy mess. Surprise presents are the best! Of course, it makes him feel like he owes you something in return, and he’s rocking from one foot to the other until you hand him the scrapbook. Prompto stills, now cradling it in his hands carefully because these are the kinds of things that people put a lot of time and thought into, so he sets it onto the coffee table and sinks down to gaze at it, running his fingers across the cover. Frankly, he’s in disbelief that you took the time to do this, and he’s in even more disbelief when he opens the cover to find big, bubble letters saying you are my sunshine alongside a doodle of a smiling sun. The pages have all of your wonderful photos, but it also has stamps and postcards that your purchased in your journeys…And when you look over, he’s crying. You wrote that you love every inch of him; every freckle, every stretch mark, every little thing. You love his bad jokes, and you love it even more when he sings. Congrats, you made him cry, but it’s happy tears. He’s thankful someone like you loves him this much.

To make this a perfect gift, get one of those brown leather moleskines, the ones that are soft on the outside and feel as though they’ve spent all of their little journal lives out in the field. The cover feels worn and well-loved, and the pages smell delightful; it’s something Gladio will love. Fill the pages with stories from camping trips and adventures that you’ve had with him, and recount them in amazing detail with little dates by them. “July 15th, waterfall hike,” and then write something you love about him. There’s a lot to love about him, really. He’s dedicated, he’s loving towards his friends and his family, he’s selfless, and he’s such a big sweetheart. It isn’t often that these aspects of Gladio are complimented, so it’ll take him by surprise. Plop down into his lap one evening and replace the book he’s reading with the one you’ve made for him and watch as his eyebrows arch as if to ask what the heck you’re doing. The front cover falls open in such a familiar way, as if it had been bent like that many times before, and using a fountain pen, you had penned his name in huge, looping letters inside it. Beside his name is a little pressed Gladiolus flower, and just seeing it makes his lips soften into a smile. As he flips through the pages, he finds more and more pressed flowers and ferns from different locations, and they’re absolutely beautiful. It’s amazing, and he thinks you’re even more amazing for doing this. He can’t stop smiling, and he’ll hold you close as he reads through all of your shared stories. Inside, his heart is absolutely melting.

Make sure it’s a surprise and be very secretive, or else Ignis will see this coming for miles and he’ll constantly insist that you don’t need to give him a gift.Too bad. One way or another, you make it work, and you fill a little red journal with gold-stitched edges with cute poems and the tabs off of tea bags; one from every time you’ve gone to a cafe with him and ordered tea. Each of the tabs has a little inspirational quote on it, and they’re wonderful to read on a bad day. Fill the remaining pages with everything you love about him; when he wakes in the morning with his hair a floppy mess, when he comes home from work late and still spends time doting on you, when he’s selfless enough to throw himself into danger for his friends. Make sure to stick in little recipes that you want to try to make for him, or even short little songs to play on the piano. When you tell him that you have a gift, he’ll immediately try to downplay it and say that you didn’t have to get him anything, but his eyes will sparkle upon hearing that you made it. As he flips through the pages and reads everything you’ve written for him, he’ll soften and lean against you, sighing contentedly. You did this for him, just a servant to the crown all his life, because you found his qualities to be likable- no, lovable. He appreciates nothing more than you in that moment, and he’ll find some way to show his gratitude whether it’s making cookies for you or just holding you and pressing soft kisses all over your cheeks.

also speaking of names: why do all indian characters that are implied to be hindu have english names or are named raj or another 3-4 letter name??? like i can assure u……the large majority of indian hindus do not have english names if ur gonna give ur indian character an english name at least make them christian as well so u can give rep to at least one subset of indians. and literally all of us see thru how u wanna make our names “easier to pronounce” as if u shouldnt just idk like. Learn how to pronounce them. this is also biased to some extent for north indians bc people Love to make fun of south indians for our long names

anonymous asked:

storytime: when i was in like 3rd grade i was one of the tallest kids and idfk y but i always made one of this boy (im female) bc of how short he was like he was literally a nub 😭😩 anyway rah rah rah now we're best friends in our last year of hs and he's the one making fun of me bc im literally the shortest in my grade 😭😩😂😂👏🏻👏🏻 i do deserve it tho

LMAOOOO KARMA!!! 

Okay story time for me 

Freshman year of high school, I was 5′2 or 5′3 idk I don’t remember but I had this friend name Jason. He was a sophomore and he was in the varsity basketball team. He was 6′5 :O he was so fucking tall. When it was sunny outside, I love standing behind him because he was like my personal tree 😂😂😂 and well he started to use my head as a legit arm rest and I would get pist >:O so he kept doing it and one day he took it to far and nicknamed me Simba. Because he believed he could do this to me 

And I was so fucking mad like no bitch. So the whole basketball team started calling me fucking Simba. I tried to smack his head but I couldn’t reach LMAO so my ass legit dragged his ass to a bench I got on and I slapped him 😂😂 

by FAR the most under appreciated dc animated shows are The Batman and Static Shock.
The Batman is adorable, well written, well acted, and so much fun. bruce is in his early less dark batman days, dick and barbara are hilarious and cute and really make the show. unpopular opinion but i like watching it more than batman the animates series.
Static Shock is legitimately one of the best cartoons ive ever seen. virgil might be the most all around likable protagonists on tv. the worldbuilding is smart and realistic. but its big strength is its willingness to tackle social issues in a genuine and meaningful way. not to mention that static is one of the few not only black superheroes, but who has his own show that never shies away from being about being black. its the only superhero show ever written /for/ black kids. its a very good show doing very good things.
appreciate The Batman and especially Static Shock!!!!!

anonymous asked:

Hello, I'm a freelance writer for Real Simple magazine. I'm working on a story for their June issue called "How to Make a Happier Office." I thought you might bring a fun perspective to the story and wanted to see you'd be available for a phone or email interview one day next week. Thanks!

Hi, well this would be great. You didn’t leave any contact info. —Austin

Blizzard conditions made it so I had to stay with my sister again. I couldn’t have my planned snack which was at my parents’ home, so I had to improvise. There were so many safe options, and I stared and thought hard for a while while at my school’s little mart, but after a long day of bus rides, forced socialization (which went well but it draining for me), and singing in uncomfortable dress and makeup under stage lights and in front of a huge audience, I think chocolate ice cream with fudge swirls, sprinkles, M&Ms, and Rolos is needed. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Away with safe foods and food rules. A calorie is a calorie is a calorie. Either way I was going to have to eat XXX calories tonight, so why not make it fun?
It doesn’t matter that I had to estimate dining hall food tonight (portions and all). It does not matter if one of the girls is acknowledging her weight loss that was done through not-okay means. It does not matter that my dress feels tighter than I remember.
There’s no excuse.

greenplumbboblover replied to your photoset

Poor Andrei :( He’s doing really bad :(

Yes, but for science!  … did you know many interactions are completely locked unless you have an “angry ghost”?  

Or at least an angry sim.

However, most simmers try to make their sims happy.  Getting them so far in the red is usually frowned upon, just because TYPICALLY we want the sims in our households doing well.  I guess it makes us feel benevolent.  Or something.

TS4 sims will smash a dollhouse without prompting even (which used to annoy the hell out of me), but you have to work so hard to piss your own TS3 sim off to get them to do the same thing.

Fun stuff though.  xD

Okay, my final theory is…

star was doing her best to include jackie and not make her feel left out.

but marco ended up feeling left out at the duck part, and the skateboarding part cause jackie and star where talking and joking around and acting like best friends

he seemed sad and angry and then jackie asked what was wrong

and he literally said “You and star go on without me… you’ll have fun.”

then, star has her time to feel jealous.

so thats really all this episode was…

was, she invited jackie to make sure she didnt feel left out-but marco AND star ended up feeling left out, not jackie.

so i really am (HOPING) and thinking it’s just a friendship thing!!!
i mean, they legit kept using the words “best friend” “bestie” “BFF”
and star was the one who invited jackie and everything like idk

star just doesn’t know how to deal with jealousy the same way because well, she got everything she wanted back in mewni, she’s the princess of that place so there was really nothing and nobody to be jealous of there

28 year old Jeremy McDole, who’s wheelchair bound because he’s paralyzed from the waist down, was killed when Delaware cops riddled him with bullets. The cops said that after the shooting, they found a .38 caliber pistol next to the victim’s body. His relatives and eye witnesses however claim he was not carrying a gun. We know darn well how police come across guns on suspects.

The cops reportedly responded to a call that Jeremy McDole had a mental breakdown and shot himself. People apparently still haven’t learned that this is what happens when you call the cops. If somebody is trying to hurt themselves, and you call the cops on them, the cops will make sure the pleasure of hurting, or preferably killing him will become theirs. Helping people in distress is not an option, killing them is more fun, and besides, helping people won’t score them paid vacation leave.

If it’s true that Jeremy McDole had shot himself, then thank God these brave officers showed up and prevented him from hurting himself some more, or, God forbid, killing himself.

anonymous asked:

What's your favorite song lyric?

“There’s just no telling how far I’ll go.”

“Dying is easy, son, living is harder.”

Trust me, I’m not okay.”

Literally the entire opening to Lying Is the Most Fun a Girl Can Have Without Taking Her Clothes Off

“Is it still me that makes you sweat?
Am I who you think about in bed?
When the lights are dim and your hands are shaking as you’re sliding off your dress?
Well, then think of what you did
And how I hope to God he was worth it
When the lights are dim and your heart is racing as your fingers touch your skin

I’ve got more wit
A better kiss
A hotter touch
A better fuck
Than any boy you’ll ever meet
Sweetie you had me
Girl, I was it, look past the sweat
A better love deserving of
Exchanging body heat in the passenger seat
No, no, no, you know it will always just be me”


Happy birthday Tama (2/23)!
I hope she’ll be fine, please make things right Sorachi ;;


Also, for all artists out there you should try paintschainer if you haven’t yet!
It’s a website that automatically colors your line arts and you can give it hints for which colors to use as well. It’s pretty fun to experiment how your drawings can look  _(:3」∠)_

This is what machine learning decided to do with my tama drawing lol
No hint vs with hint

anonymous asked:

All the Mixers making fun of Zayn because he didn't win the Brit last night act like he already didn't have three at home . No matter how hard this fandom tries to erase he played a crucial (as did the other 4) role in making 1D successful. And one of his trophies is the global success award something LM will never win lol 😂

well sotme is about him and history is a bit too, he’s also in the music video, so basically he won all the awards he was nominated for. a legend 

anonymous asked:

Aw man, I hope your little one feels better soon! Daddy!Ignis would be all over making sure they're comfortable and feeling safe--hospitals are no fun place to be, especially for kiddos! He'd definitely be reading all the books that they want, long legs sticking over the child's size bed as he lets them curl up next to him. He's also out on food runs for you, whatever you need to feel comfortable as well and assuring that your child will be okay. You're their mother, after all.

The hospital stay was LONG. And poor River had a really hard time sleeping. We (myself, River and ACTUAL husband) all DID sleep on the tiny bed together for a couple of hours at a time. Positively grueling. But it is without a doubt something Iggy would do. My real husband wouldn’t go for a food run for me. I mean, we only had some change, but some vending machine snacks would’ve been nice at least. >.> And I gotta believe Iggy would hook that shit UP. 

Sometimes I think things are going OK and sometimes I kind of know they’re not.

I wonder how I tell my boss that I can’t deal with being at work at the moment? He’ll be so disappointed in me. I don’t want to think about work, the constant low grade fogginess and dizziness and headache, I don’t feel I’m making safe decisions at work (and I hate that). I cant concentrate on anything (even things I might enjoy). Occasional random crying is fun too. It’s almost like when I manage something adult someone else is doing that, not me. I had a week off (annual leave) and it wasn’t enough, I didn’t feel better. I think I need more time and a rethink of how I approach my job and what is expected.

But other people deal with this, I’m just pathetic. I just need to get a grip but I’ve tried so hard for so long and I can’t make it happen and I can’t keep surviving day to day like this, waiting for one day to be over so I can survive the next one in an endless stream of days with brief interludes where I think it might be OK. But nothing to actually look forward to.

I don’t want to admit defeat, I will feel so guilty at letting people down, they will have to cover my job and they’ll hate me for it. On the outside it looks like I’m coping fine and inside I’m falling apart.

I need someone to talk to but I can’t speak to my parents and I don’t want to worry my brother further. I can’t speak to the GP until Tuesday at the earliest and I’m next seeing my psychologist on Tuesday anyway. We’re going to discuss me taking time off.

So I’m sorry tumblr, I’m just going to scream into the void for a virtual hug and keep holding on until next Tuesday. Work commitment tomorrow, family commitment Monday. Just hold on and then by the middle of next week I can collapse a bit psychologically.

I do not consent to this being my life any more. I need to work out how to change it and if all my energy is going into maintaining what I’ve got I will never escape and work out what might be possible. Something has to give and much as I hate to admit it I think that thing is work right now.

anonymous asked:

Concerning Allegiance: it just occurred to me this morning at work, what's Wedge gonna think when the truth comes out? Will he feel betrayed or will he be like "ah. In hindsight a lot of things make sense now" (possibly both of these things?) (Also I really love the one-shot you did where Wedge is the only one who knows and he's like "Well that's horrible, but I got you, man")

Lots of people are curious about Wedge. :)

I have plans for Wedge. Lots of plans. He’s a fairly major player in this fic, so I’m not going to give away his reaction just yet. :) But rest assured we will see more of him.

(Thank you! That was a fun one to write.)

Doll’s Party 36 Photos and Stuff Part 2

geez this is really late because I kept trying to make it but tumblr often does this thing where it wont let me upload any images from the computer unless they’re in an image post so I haven’t been able to, but its finally letting me again.

Anyway, now I’ll share the photos of other peoples dolls. Dolpa (as well as I-doll and presumably other doll events too) have many tables available for rent where people can display their dolls for everyone else to marvel at. It’s really fun looking at them all, and at Dolpa there are a LOT. It just kept going and going so I couldn’t take photos of every single one I saw, just the ones I found most interesting.
I was also surprised to see non-Volks dolls amongst them cos I always heard that Dolpa was for Volks dolls only, but if that rule did exist it wasn’t exactly policed. Obviously Super Dollfies and Dollfie Dreams still made up most of the dolls though. Sometimes the owners would be sitting nearby but sometimes they were nowhere to be seen. There must be a high degree of trust cos sadly all I can think of is how if this happened in the west there’d be a lot of thefts.

Look how cute this Len is? Wow.

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