well this is a mess but i loved these two in the movie

The One That Got Away

by reddit user bookshelfghost

Lily Harrison and I met at a graduation party when we were eighteen. As soon as I walked into the house, her bubbling laughter caught my attention. I couldn’t help but grin because it was so contagious, and she’d noticed. Already a couple drinks in, she pointed right at me and shouted, “Hey. You’re cute. Come be my partner.” 

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Not So Berry Legacy Challenge

Do you like the rainbow? Do you like the idea of playing with berry Sims but hate berry Sims? Do you want to mess around with aspects of the game you’ve never used before? Boy, do I have the challenge for you!

Welcome to the Not So Berry Legacy Challenge, a ten generation legacy with a focus on bright colors and new experiences.

Basic Rules:

  1. Each heir must represent the color of the generation (i.e. hair, makeup, clothing), but brightly colored skin is not necessary (these aren’t actually berry Sims, that’s the joke)
  2. The colors of the spouses don’t matter as they aren’t part of the challenge. Unless otherwise stated you can do whatever you please with them.
  3. Money cheats can be used, but not excessively. Suggestion: use freerealestate for your first home, but no cheats afterward.
  4. You may live wherever you please unless something is specified in the rules of a generation.
  5. Every generation is supposed to complete both the career and aspiration of the heir unless explicitly stated otherwise.
  6. Keep the lifespan on normal.
  7. If you play this challenge and want to share it with us, go ahead and post with #notsoberry so we can see!

My good friend @alwaysimming​ and I kind of created this challenge on accident, but I think it turned out pretty great. We wanted to make something that forced us to play with parts of the game we’ve never explored before. Hopefully you’ll have fun too. You can follow our gameplay on @mintiphresh​ and @lea-fey​ (pronounced “minty fresh” and “leafy”)!

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top 10 phan moments that make me wanna rip my heart out

yeah, just ten moments among hundreds, let it be part one or something. tell me what i’ve missed because i want more suffering in my life.

10) mind control.

i mean, i appreciate the subtlety. i crave those tiny moments that you only notice when someone points them out to you. but this! you can’t miss this one, this moment is shoved down our throats. this is so “i’m allowed to do that to you, to be in your personal space, and gaze into your eyes for no reason, just because i want to”. and phil’s face in that moment, so much joy and mischief, he claps his hands and gazes back.

9) chest touch.

drama queen howell strikes again, it hurts to rewatch it srsly, why is he so extra? but what is phil doing ladies and gents? he slaps his chest in the weirdest way possible, he brushes it, it’s like he wants to shove him but reassuringly and the movement happens so fast you have to pause for a second to comprehend it. that sweet gentle boy is so fond of dan’s unnecessary commentary and yeah, it completely distracts us from what dan is saying at that moment.

8) feel my heartbeat.

was that necessary, really? like, i don’t ask my friends to feel my heartbeat when i’m scared, that was such a “horror movie at first date” bullshit, that’s not what people do?? and when dan does feel that beautiful hummingbird heart, phil just covers his hand with his own palm because yes, you gotta feel it very close, no air between your hand and my chest. dan immediately looks into the camera to show us that yeah, i know you’re there, nothing strange, and makes a comment about phil dying. wow.

7) phil the delivery man.

i don’t know what to say. it’s so simple but why does phil have to make such an act of bringing dan his charger, why does he talk in that stupid voice?? they have a banter, and then phil FIXES DAN’S CHARGER FOR HIM, like what?? who asked you to do that? where’s my IT guy au (literally, he’s got glasses, look at him). and before he leaves he plays the piano that nerd, what an attention seeker, and then bows!! is he tipsy? did he have a pre-liveshow orgasm or something? dan laughs fondly and it’s all i need in the world.

6) child beer.

what’s happening and does it even matter. phil’s hiding on the floor, but why? to surprise us? eh whatever. so he’s got that magical japanese powdery stuff and he wants dan to taste it. the biggest problem for me here, ahem, i mean the thing that just kills me every time is that phil spends the whole time (eight minutes) on his knees and he looks so cute when he makes that beer, holds it close to the camera, and then lets the foam sit so dan can have the ultimate child beer experience.

it reminds me of that hot chocolate video, where he does something so trivial but he’s so gentle and loving about it. i still don’t understand why they didn’t do a simple taste test like bros, but phil had to make it for dan, he wanted to see his reaction. and then he tries it as well, touches the glass rim with his lips at the same place where dan’s mouth just was (gross).

and i just can’t ignore how that boy sneaks past dan’s room after that, he’s playful, he stops to say that he googled something and dan was wrong, and domesticity, i wanna die.

5) sleeping phil on tour.

i kinda wanna talk about the angle here because i don’t understand how it was filmed (camera is pretty static, dan’s hand reaches from the side, not behind), but i don’t know if it matters here. what matters is how gentle dan is. of course, he starts with classic nose tickling, which is what “messing with a sleeping friend” usually implies, but then he frees one strand of phil’s hair and just lets it fall. wow, fantastic prank, dan.

and let’s separately discuss that pout/kiss phil does after he opens his eyes. i know you want a slow mo replay, so here we go:

that’s what i call “im gonna stay asleep but i love you”. where’s the nearest cliff so i can fling myself into abyss?

4) the look.

context what context. why did they keep it? why did they put it on fullscreen instead of hiding in the corner? two full-length looks dan, really?? you know what he looks like, why do you have to examine him like that in front of us you slut. and it just passes, without acknowledgment, they just turn back at us simultaneously and I’M STILL DEAD at that moment, i don’t care what happens next.

3) snoot. proot. (i just filmed you doing that)

i don’t even care what it was. something about piano sounds or whatever, but this video haunts me. THERE’S SO MUCH TO IT. first, phil is lying on dan’s bed (at least in the official version it’s dan’s, not mutual), just chilling?? and dan’s working i guess. so they are not actually doing something together but it’s a cozy evening, why would they spend it in different rooms? dan says something, idk, and phil replies “yeah” in that deep voice I SWEAR i haven’t heard from him before. dan makes the sounds again, like can you believe he’s an actual dork in real life, it’s not an act, he’s actually the weirdest boy alive, and he so obviously doesn’t know he’s being filmed. because when phil says “i just filmed you doing that you’re so weird”, he’s so delighted, he laughs at himself, he turns around, his hair is pushed back omg they are both so sleepy and i rejoice. i think this video gives us a rare but fantastic insight in their everyday life, phil must be keeping so much silly videos like that on his google drive and we never get to see them BUT SOMEHOW he posts this one, probably because dan is cute and he wants everyone to know it.

2) you loved it. you wanna do it more.

so, yes. you know this one. where do i even begin?? they play this dragon quiz and then 1) phil says “you loved it” in the strangest voice, like the voice we never hear from him, it’s deeper and quieter, he looks at dan even though dan’s not looking back; 2) dan is looking down as if he’s fiddling with an ipad or something, it’s almost a bts moment, something they would usually edit out. AND THEN THREE SECONDS OF SILENCE while dan kinda processes what’s going on and phil still looks at him expectantly. seductive as fuck. and now this quiet “alright”, i’m just… dan looks like he’s gotten the hint, so he’s a little embarrassed and they share the softest laugh. 

the thing is, we know how often phil makes sexual innuendos and dan always reacts the same way: he looks into the camera, he throws a witty comment in, he puts it on display to show us that there’s no intimacy in that moment. but not this time. i don’t understand why they didn’t edit it out. i just… don’t.

1) pantless liveshow
this is the ultimate. this is the weirdest and the most awesome thing these two gave me and i’m not even sure what can top that. the moment when phil decides to grab the humidifier and show us, he looks at the screen, says “one second” and stands up very awkwardly while dan turns the laptop away from him and makes the weirdest “how you doing” face. 

WHAT THE FUCK. did they think we were so used to them weirdos that we wouldn’t even notice that shit? but fuck, they do it again, they want to show us the spray and dan goes “should i go get it? you have to do phil’s corner”. like, i can’t function, i honestly can’t. AND THE WORST PART is when dan returns and we can see him covering his legs with a blanket just too fast like it’s not that cold boy come on.

i have no explanation and i have every explanation. i don’t deserve all this suffering.

pidge: keith i have a gay problem and need the help of a gay who is more experienced

keith: ok. what is it?

pidge: i like this girl but there’s no way she likes me back and i dunno what to do about it

keith: nothing. absolutely nothing. you do nothing, and then you do your best to ignore it but it’s just eating at you and it’s so hard to pretend it’s not there so then you watch ten thousand heteronormative hallmark movies but eventually you start getting daydreams about how great your life would be if you actually were dating and how much fun you’d have doing the cheesiest coupley stuff and you aren’t even paying attention to the hallmark movies anymore they’re just lights and sounds in the background of your daydreams but we’re in space so you don’t even have the hallmark movies so you just go straight to the daydreams and you get this idea in your head that if you two date you’ll finally be a happy functional person and you won’t have any more problems ever and you know that’s not true but you still wanna believe it anyway and now the crush is getting bigger and bigger and you’re even more of a mess and you talk to your friend about it since he says he’s always there if you need someone to listen so you think that’ll help a little bit but it turns out it doesn’t because your friend is an asshole and says “well why don’t you just tell him?” but if i could tell him then this wouldn’t. be a problem, shiro!

keith: (breathing heavily)

pidge:

pidge:

pidge: actually i think i’m gonna go to lance

keith: …good plan.

She doesn’t like to be called babe because it’s sort of a lazy way of saying baby, she loved it when I called her by nicknames, babygirl, princess, tiger (because she wants to reincarnate into a tiger if she one day dies) beautiful, etc, she doesn’t like when others call her by her name, because she prefers “soph” but she loved it when I called her by her name and she sat there smiling at me for ages. Her favourite drinks are iced coffee, those frappe things from McDonald’s and rubicon (the mango one though) she loved coffee and I’ll never understand why. Shes insecure of her face and when You look at her too long she’ll cover it, she’s insecure of her body, though it’s perfect just the way it is to me, she’s insecure of her smile but I find it beautiful. No matter how many times I called her beautiful she didn’t once believe it because she believes she isn’t. No matter how many times I tried to prove to her she was beautiful she didn’t believe it. She’s insecure, she’s scared of being hurt, she’s scared of wasting time, she’s scared of putting her all into somebody to be left alone, her guard was up, even after I showed her the craziest amounts of love, because she’s afraid of letting people in and it’ll take her ages for her to be able to trust you and open up, the way she is stubborn drives me crazy because I want her to tell me what’s wrong but she won’t. She’s spend all night crying over me but has been happy for me the next day because whose wants to see a smile on my face, she will be emotional, she’ll cry, she’ll cry and lot, she won’t tell me she’s crying though because she’s scared to bring attention to herself. She gets jealous but only because she doesn’t want to see me with anybody else. She has days where all she wants to do is be alone and cry, there’s days she’ll have no motivation but all you need to do is try to be there for her regardless of how much she acts as though she doesn’t care because deep down she does and her pain is too much to explain so she’ll keep it in rather than tell me what’s wrong. She thinks she’s stupid and not intelligent (which I think and believe she is) and regardless of what i tell her she will never believe it, she always believes she isn’t enough but she is more than enough, I look at her and see my future, I look at her and it will physically hurts me because i know that she is worth much more yet she sticks around just for me, I think back to all the times I’ve hurt her and made her cry because of stupid arguments, I’ll look at her and my eyes will light up from the way her smile forms and the way her pupils dilate, the way she turns her head to the side so I won’t see her smiling or laughing. she never wants to see me upset, she may never say much but she knows, she wants to say things but her shyness takes over, she wants to be here for me but she will have no idea what to say, she will try her damn right hardest to be there for me and even though i don’t realise how much effort she puts in she will still carry on doing so. Even though I don’t thank her enough for making you happy she will still carry on doing so because she wants me to be happy. She never really speaks about what’s on her mind until i physically beg her to, she hates to talk of her past and her future and if I’m lucky she’ll tell me a story or two about her past, I need to pay attention because she hates to repeat herself, i need to reply to her like I’m interested or she’ll think i don’t care. She hates to talk of her future because it’s “depressing” because she doesn’t believe in herself but now is the part where i should interfere and motivate her to believe that everything she wants will be hers as long as she tries. She hates it when i give her “positivity rants” on the phone because it makes her overthink. She hates feeling like I’m not paying attention to her. She hates when I don’t realise everything you do for her. She hates feeling depressed and alone so i much bring as much happiness to her as possible, she hates knowing that I’m not okay. she loves sci-fi movies and that’s another thing I’ll never understand why she loves but when we’re married I’ll sit with her through 3 hour sci-fi movies because it’ll put a smile on her face and I’d do anything for that, She loves to mess and play with her hair, she is so downright passionate about photography and she loves relating to somebody, she loves when I know things about her, she loves having deep meaningful conversations, she sometimes stays up until stupid o clock to check up on me and to see if I’m okay or just to speak to me because she craves me and the feelings I give her. She stays up some nights doing things for me which I would never expect and some nights she will cry herself to sleep because I upset her or because im not okay. She loves to play fight and she loves it when I look into her eyes and she loves it when I lay in bed with her and just talk absolute shit. She loves long walks and pleasing sights, she loves going to pretty places, she loves the nights and one day she would love to travel the world with the love of her life, even though she’s never been an an airplane before but it’s fine because neither have I. she would love a long car journey to wherever as long as it’s with somebody she loves, she loves old music and she loves to make you happy. She loves wearing casual clothes and rarely ever wants to look “feminine” but I love it because its her character and who she is and she will never change that. She will make me happy even if I’m not making her happy because she loves me and will do anything to see a smile on my face. She doesn’t like going to busy places like concerts or crowds etc, she loves dogs and practically develops bonds with them, she dislikes her dog because she’s ‘boring’ but she still loves her and sees her as a sister, because she’s grown up with her. She is sometimes so full of life and so happy that its literally contagious, her smile makes me smile and her laugh is honestly the best sound ever, I see my future every time I look deeply into her eyes and i realise that she is worth so much more than me yet she sticks around, once she loved me she has not once stopped, ever since that day 3 years ago. Sometimes she will act heartless but only because she wants me to show her that I care, sometimes she’ll cry and not tell me because she wants me to figure it out. She doesn’t like to be around many people, she doesn’t want to go to college because she hates the whole school vibe but I respect her for that because going straight for a apprenticeship takes guts, she doesn’t have many friends and although people think they know her, I can assure you they don’t, she will make you feel as though you know her but you really don’t, even I don’t know/understand her to the full extent, because she doesn’t really let anybody in unless she really wants to tell them something, she doesn’t really open up to anybody, she may talk a lot on the phone sometimes but in real life it is the complete opposite because she will become shy. She loves her dads car because of it’s blacked out windows so people can’t see her. I’d describe her as mysterious and as every single day which goes on I carry on learning more about her. She is the book I’ve opened and I will carry on reading her till I am finished reading her which will be never because she is an endless story. She loves it when I hype her up when she looks beautiful when I replay, screenshot and reply with endless emojis because her beauty takes away my breath. Sometimes she’ll have an attitude because she’s upset about something and she wants me to figure it out. But her attitude is nothing to fuck with at all because she can talkkkkk I assure you, she will fight her opinion onto you and she will make her point, but she won’t say a word in person, regardless of the arguments and regardless of the heartlessness she will love me entirely and will carry on doing so and I will never question that. Her heart is made of gold and she will always want what is best for me. I’d keep on going because this isn’t everything about her, if I could, but quite honestly I’d be going on for hours, I could never lie, me and her have made the most happiest and craziest memories together, and I could never doubt that. If forever does not last for me and her and you’re the next person who falls in love with her, take this all in and realise what you’re getting yourself into. Treat her well because she is honestly a queen, you’ll learn to love her, but let me assure you something, you will never love her half as much as I do. But for now and hopefully till forever, she is mine and I will carry on loving her till the day I die.
—  dedicated to my wife.

I have some opinions/thoughts that I’d really love to get off my chest even if other people think I’m completely wrong.

Gaston did not deserve to die, Gaston was hardly a bad person, Gaston was basically forced into being the villian of this story.

[I’m referring to the 2017 remake of BATB rather than the original animation.]

Let’s point out some difference between the 1991 Gaston and 2017 Gaston
-2017 Gaston was not a misogynist
-did not abuse Lefou
-even verbally
-Like for fucksakes, the friendship between Lefou and Gaston was so genuine. I’m frequently seeing these things around Gafou is an abusive ship, buts it’s really not? He tells Lefou ‘thank you’ says ‘you’re the best Lefou’ sincerely asks ‘how has no woman snatched you up?’, messes around with Lefou like buds (wrestling bite marks, picking him up to demonstrate strength, gets on the table and dances with him), let’s Lefou calm him down and boop his nose, and not once does he insult or hurt even when it seemed like he would (after Lefou wrapped his arms around him, or when he couldn’t spell his name, when he said ‘who needs her when you’ve got us’, etc). They’re sincerely good, close friends, but don’t worry I’m not ignoring all the shitty things Gaston did to Lefou I will get to that in a second.
-I said he’s not a misogynist, right? Cause that’s important. Big step away from the OG.
-Doesn’t insult Belle for reading
-Instead he feigns interest in the book because he knows it’s her interest
-even brings her flowers, whataguy
-Has manners (“excuse me, please let me through” going through the crowd, didn’t push everyone out of his way)
-Goes to her rescue when the town’s people are being mean (sure this is because he wanted to be the hero to seduce her, but seriously he was one of the few people who didn’t harass or bully Belle for being different)
-Doesn’t call Maurice crazy and instead offers his help to soothe the men (again, seduction, but seriously he’s still being polite and helping the underdog unlike the OG)

I’ll probably think of more things to add to this Gaston-wasnt-an-asshole list but I think this basically gets the point across that, well, Gaston wasn’t an asshole. He was immensely vain, yes, but that doesn’t mean he was a bad person.
Cus ya know who else started out incredibly vain but still managed to be the fucking prince in this story?
Yep, the Beast/Adam of course.

Time to do some comparing of the prince and the villian because spoiler alert, they basically parallel each other.

I’ll begin this part with Belle’s comment of, “No one can change THAT much, Gaston”
Ahem

LITERALLY SHUT THE FUCK UP ARE YOU SERIOUS
This line pissed me off immensely, because that’s literally Adam’s entire character arc, changing himself completely, literally and figuratively.

Like I’m sorry you wanna do a repeat of the song “Something there” aka the song where the lyrics are basically “he was an asshole brute who I hated but now he’s c h a n g e d”
Literally so pissed off at that all.

But as I was saying, Gaston basically mirrors Adam’s arc, meaning to say they’re practically the same character things going on but sorta reversed.

Like okay
-Upon first meeting Belle, the Beast locks her father then her in a tower and is a huge dick but then they bond over books and he gives her flowers and he’s nice to her.
-Upon first interacting with Belle, Gaston is nice to her, gives her flowers, tries to bond over books, but then he’s a huge dick and locks her father and then her in a cart.

Do you see what I did there? Literally the same actions, but backwards.

Let’s do some more comparing.
-They both have terrible, terrible tempers.
But you know what? The Beasts is definitely a lot worse than Gaston’s.

Let’s review how both Gaston and Adam dealt with Belle’s dinner rejection
-Beast: literally motherfucking demands she has dinner with him, bangs his paws on the door, scrEAMS at her, and then announces she can starve if she won’t eat with him
-Gaston: [not direct quotes, can’t remember exact words but basically what he says] “oh, busy?” nope “okay, then some other time?” boom that’s that. Yeah he still is persistent on winning her over even after this rejection but the man handled it a lot better then Adam (and he brought flowers for her dinner table).

I’m about to move on from Adam and start talking about how Gaston treated Lefou in a sec, but I would just really really really like to put some emphasis on the fact that both Adam and Gaston were incredibly narcissistic men. The amount of self pride and conceded they have is in the beginning is completely parallel and it leads to both of their unfortunate fates. The point in this, is Gaston is not a bad guy just because he loves himself a bit much, just as the Beast was not a bad guy for loving himself too much. Like, the way Adam turns down Agatha for being ugly seems exactly like something Gaston would do, so why does the movie end with Gaston dying while the Beast learns his lesson and gets his happily ever after?
Because, the OG Gaston was truly an asshole who deserved to die and this 2017 remake of course had to stay true to the story. Even though this Gaston really wasn’t a true villian and didn’t deserve to die – rather he deserves a redemption arc just as Adam was given – he died anyway because that’s how the story goes.

Anyway, I’ll get on with this and bring back Lefou.

Some of you have probably been reading this while thinking “But Marley [das my name], Gaston was a shitty person, he wasn’t a good friend to Lefou at all because he manipulated him, let him get punched in the face, didn’t protect him at all, and threatened to lock him up. Plus, he was only into Belle because she’s pretty.”

Alright alright alright: Lefou.
He’s an exceedingly important character as he gives us insight to Gaston’s character.
Two crucial things he reveals about Gaston … .

-Gaston has anger issues. My father has anger issues, and so do I, and we both are on meds for it. Let me say, having anger management problems and getting angry are very different things. It’s just like he having anxiety and getting nervous are very different things. I think most of you can probably relate or understand anxiety more then anger issues, so just put yourself in Gaston’s shoes with that in mind. Anyway, back to Lefou. He shows us that Gaston has anger issues when he rushes to Gaston’s aid by saying “deep breathes” and then “think about the war”. He tells us that Gaston has coping mechanisms for when he gets like this. Does it matter if Gaston has anger problems? Does it make him less of a dick? Like, seriously Marley, does this information really make up for any of the things he did? Yes, yes it does matter. It’s like when you/someone your love is having an anxiety attack, or when you fall into a depressive episode, or when a loved one acts out of PTSD [which Gaston could totally completely have], or when someone with schizophrenia or delusions starts having episodes, it’s basically exactly like whenever anyone’s mental illness starts to act up. You don’t feel like yourself and you don’t so things you would normally​ do. This is definitely the case for Gaston; he acts out of character when he gets angry like this. And that’s my second point that Lefou proves in this movie.

-Gaston is not being himself when he starts doing all that terrible shit that leads him to his demise. Lefou makes it fairly obvious that that is not how Gaston usually acts. He does this in numerous ways which I will quickly try to summarize and go through:
1) Questions Gaston. Obviously if Gaston often tied up old men to trees or in general left people to die, Lefou would have just went with it instead of going “are you sure?”
2) doesn’t immediately lie to save Gaston’s ass. Again, if Gaston frequently had Lefou lie for him, then it would have came to Lefou like second nature and he wouldn’t have hesitated.
3) Once more, questioning Gaston. The scene I’m about to refer to is when Gaston locks Belle and her father in the carriage. Lefou grabs Gaston’s arm and goes to question him again, but before he can Gaston threatens to lock him up as well. Dick move on Gastons end, no? But this isn’t something he would normally do or say to Lefou, for if it was Lefou wouldn’t have bothered speaking up because he would have known what Gaston’s reaction would be. Instead, Lefou is used to being able to talk sense into Gaston and reason with him (refer back to nose boop scene).
4) Running to Gaston’s side for protection during the fight [castle scene]. Lefou is probably used to having Gaston protect him during fights (war time) and obviously didn’t expect Gaston to throw him to the enemy. Like, yous guys heard him shriek Gaston’s name before the piano fell on him, right? He was obviously expecting Gaston to rescue him. Even after he’s trapped under the piano, he still reaches and calls out for Gaston. The way Gaston is acting is not the Gaston he knows.
5?) “I was on Gaston’s side, but we are so in a bad place right now” [however he says it you know the line I’m referring to]. Aight I think this is the one line that really captures the point I’m trying to make. Lefou has switched sides because Gaston is being a major douchebag and Lefou’s not having it. Lefou doesn’t put up with being treated like shit [MrsPotts saying he deserves better and Lefou agreeing]. So o b v i o u s l y Lefou is not used to Gaston being so cruel and angry. If Gaston treated Lefou like this all the time, then Lefou wouldn’t be by his side [because he left his side once he started acting like this]. Lefou knows how he should be treated, and how he’s being treated is not what he’s used to.
You dig what I’m saying? I’m kinda rushing through these points because I’m getting tired of this.

*deep breathe* Alright, last point, as I mentioned above, ‘Gaston only wanted Belle because she was beautiful’ Alright alright alright I’m not even going to talk about the Gaston in this point, I’m just going to talk about the huge flaw that is Beauty and the Beast.

Adam is turned into the Beast because he needs to learn to not judge people by how they look, he needs to learn that it’s what’s on the inside that matters.
Right.
So why is Belle the one that learns this lesson?
Adam falls in love with a gorgeous girl, meanwhile Belle falls in love with a hideous monster who turns into a nice dude on the inside.
Belle is the character who learned to not judge a book by its cover [cover being a monsterous beast but inside he is a gorgeous prince].
As soon as Belle walked into the castle, all the furniture was like “yooooo she could be the one, master hit her up” and instantly Adam’s like “well I need a girl to fall in love with to break my curse and she cute yeah let’s do it”. Like of course there’s more to our then this, but what I’m trying to say is Adam had already planned to try to charm Belle before he knew what kind of person he was because he was desperate to break the curse.
So he and everyone in the castle just saw her and was like “she was a girl, he was a boy, can I make it anymore obvious?”
So anyway anyway anyway, Gaston was only interested in Belle because she was beautiful and he wanted a wife, but Beast was only interested in Belle because she was beautiful and could break the spell. See the parallels again? Like, Beast later fell in love with Belle for who she was and she made him a better person, Gaston could have totally done the same thing.
And okay, there’s no proof Beast cared that Belle was beautiful or not, but yo, Disney definitely should have made Belle ugly af so when Adam met her the snob in him would have been “ew she’s ugly, next” and then Lumiere and Mrs. Potts woulda been like “boi Imma whoop yo ass if you don’t give that girl a try, I don’t care how fucked up her teeth are smfh” and then Adam would have learned the lesson that the enchantress was trying to school him about in the first place [this applies to the 1991 animated film, not directly at the 2017 btw]

Well I was trying to keep this professional and moreso eloquently written but you can tell I’m coming out of my cage and I’ve been doing just fine gotta gotta be down because I want it all

Okay okay okay
Okay okay
Okay

I believe we’re nearing the end. I believe I’ve said all I needed to say made all the points I could [honestly definitely not because I’m constantly thinking about this and arguing with no one in my head, I have a lot to say and later I’ll be making toast and be like “anD ONE MORE THING”]

I’m very upset Gaston died because he wasn’t a terrible enough character to deserve death.

So Dear Disney, either make Gaston more of a shitty person, or bring him back to life. I’ll be waiting for an apology letter until this is done.

Of course I’m kidding.

I just have such a love and passion for Gaston and I’m truly sick of hearing people tell me that Gafou is an abusive ship and Gaston is a villian.

And if you refuse to see that Gaston wasn’t a bad guy but still believe that Adam is such a prince than you’re insanely hypocritical.

People just see what they want to see.

Also I’m terribly sorry for making this so diddly damn long, I honestly have no idea how to do the cutoff “Show more” thing, I’m on mobile. So sorry if you’re trying to rapidly scroll past all of this and it’s taking forever.

But honestly fuck you don’t scroll past my argument.

And also if you legit read all this then motherfucking congratulations to you. Like I don’t even want to read all of this shit to edit it.

Thanks for the attention. Marley OUTT
He tries to make you jealous (Zach Dempsey)

shit, so i’ve been in love with thirteen reasons why recently. it’s got me hooked. zach dempsey has been one of my crushes on the show, so here’s one based on this prompt. i’d love taking suggestions! ring me up if you have any ideas- or, better yet, drop by my ask if you want me to make any more for you.

prompt: “i like you a lot, so i tried getting you jealous,” ft. zachary dempsey

Originally posted by pitterpratter


“Ah shit, Y/N,” Jess Davis groans as she wiggles into the tight row of cushioned chairs, trying to make her way to the middle of the line next to you. You giggle as the popcorn spills all around her clenched hand and into the laps of everyone nearby. There are whimpers of “Sorry, sorry!” and grunts before she finally lands into the cushioned chair next to you and sighs. “Ah Jesus, I didn’t know that would be so hard.”

"Maybe you should lay off the gummy worms,” You put in, and laugh as she glares at you and hits your arm. Your hand digs in the popcorn and you stuff a handful into your mouth, the satisfying crunch as you chew making you moan. Ah, popcorn. Jess rips open a pack of the gummies and snorts at you. “Maybe save those noises for Dempsey, hon.”

You choke on a kernel as she purses her lips trying not to laugh, her eyes steadying on the previews onscreen. A few snickers make it out either way, and you scowl at her and stuff more handfuls in your mouth.

Zach Dempsey and you, to put it lightly, were not friends. It was difficult to push you into a room together and not expect a night of sour jabs and endless bickering. Everyone at school knew it, and it was something that happened way before you were even freshmen. There was never a time you weren’t at each other’s throats. One time, he’d spilled liquor down the front of your dress at some party and you’d hidden his pants in a bush while he was in the hot tub later that night. Lately it’d been more of a joke between your friends, with Jessica mockingly swooning how romantic you two would be. 

The lights start to dim and you wiggle back into your seat, ready for some good old romcom- and then the Paramount clip cuts into black for a moment, making you groan and try to dodge whoever was blocking your view. You crane your entire body and glare daggers at the idiot who interrupted your film before it even started. You loved your movies, and you were pretty serious about getting the “full movie theatre experience” (which Jess liked to mock). Please, you were paying a good four dollars for a movie you could watch for free online. Your eyes rise up to the back of his head, taking in a mess of straight black hair, broad shoulders and the school’s infamous Letterman jacket hanging on them. You memorized the back of that head. You knew those shoulders.

It was Zach Dempsey. With him were Jason Friar and Justin Foley, all wearing their Lettermans. You felt Jess shift in her seat at the sight of them. Wrapped in Zach’s arm was a smaller girl, snuggled into his shirt and playing with his fingers around her neck. They scooched into the seats almost directly in front of you, with the girl turning her head suddenly and getting the tips of her ponytail in Zach’s mouth. He swats it away, annoyed, but smiles instantly when she turns her head to look at him.

“Oh no,” You moan, making Jess snicker at you. You don’t miss the way her eyes flicker to Foley and turn away. “Just what I needed.”

"Who’s the girl?” Jess wonders, squinting. “Not a cheerleader. That’s Jenny, I think. Or her friend Bryana. I can’t be sure. We have Com with them.”

"Ugh, who cares,” You roll your eyes and try to turn to the movie. As long as they don’t ruin your film. This was some good stuff showing- if you focused enough, maybe you could ignore them. Jess shrugs and follows suit. You take a sip of your cherry cola as Martin Freeman jogs up into the scene.

The movie drifts by, but you find that you don’t enjoy it as much as you would have. Your eyes keep landing on the back of Dempsey’s head- and as much as you hated it, his arm around the girl’s. Your popcorn started tasting sour. You focus on some surfer guy’s abs an hour in but your mind keeps drifting somewhere else. Suddenly, before you can even blink, Zach cranes his neck slowly and looks directly at you, as if he knew you were there the entire time. He catches you looking and his cheeks tinge pink as he whips back around. Jess snickers. “That’s like, the fourth time he’s done that.”

"What?” You blink. Wouldn’t you have noticed? Jess takes a slurp of her drink. “Yeah, didn’t you notice? I mean, he’s had like two bathroom breaks. Both times he’d looked right at you before he took his seat.”

You decide not to say anything and reach out for a gummy worm. You keep watch, but Zach never craned his head again.

The movie ends before you know it, and Jess is a mess. You can’t stop laughing at her state, and after a while she laughs with you and dabs at her tears with paper napkins, but her mascara’s everywhere. “Shit, Y/N, why aren’t you crying with me?” She scowls, and starts hicupping. You try to hide your smile. You find it best not to tell her that you were staring at other things than the movie.

The lights flick back on and the people file out. You grab your empty popcorn buckets and leave, but not before Jess excuses herself to the comfort room to freshen up. You drop the buckets in the trash can near the snacks counter in the lobby and wait for her, waving a hand at Hannah Baker, who was filling up drinks at the soda fountain. Your hand travels to your back pocket and realize your phone is missing, so you run back into the cinema’s swinging doors hoping not to find it lodged in between seats with a wad of chewed up gum.

You find something even more tramautizing. Sitting on Zach Dempsey’s lap was his date, clutching his face with her pale hands and making out with him. He’s fidgeting in his seat, but trying to keep still. You note that his hands are on the cup holders and not on her waist. Your face screws up and you groan in disgust, picking your phone up from floor. “Christ, Dempsey, get a room.”

Zach’s eyes widen and he scrambles up, pushing the girl out of his lap. “Yeah? Well, this was an empty room ‘til you showed up, Y/N.”

You snort, tucking your phone into your back pocket. “You’re a pig, Dempsey.” There are mumbles of "Ooh”’s from Foley as you stalk back to the entrance, where Jess was waiting for you, ready for some milkshakes at Rosie’s. You loop your arm in hers, failing to hear the “Shit, man,” and swears from inside the theatre.

-

You head into school next Monday with a great start, munching on your bagel as you make it to your locker. You’re wearing an oversized hoodie and high waisted jeans, but it doesn’t stop the jocks from whistling when you pass by. You roll your eyes at them and chew on your bagel as you turn the corner. High school boys were too immature. No wonder you never found the want to date one.

Passing by you in the hallway was Zach Dempsey, crowded with his band of loud friends who are laughing and pushing each other. You meet his eye and he stops, slinging his backpack over his shoulder. You roll your eyes and look away, and you can almost hear him sigh in defeat. Someone slaps him on the shoulder and whistles as you walk by. “Daaamn, Dempsey, you gotta let us share.” You don’t see him shove the guy and stalk off.

The first half of the day passes by like a breeze. By the time fourth period ends, you barely feel like the day has started. You head out for the cafeteria, stacking all your books in your arms and making it through the door, but it wasn’t long before you could hear footsteps running after you. “Hey, wait up, Y/N!”

You turn around and groan, continuing to walk. “Dempsey.” You try not to glance as he jogs up next to you and ruffles his hair, staring at you with this half grin of his you didn’t want to admit you liked.

“Uh, hey.” “Something you need?”

“No, uh, actually, I wanted to talk to you.” He looks at you sheepishly.

“Okay, talk.”

“Um, you look nice today,” He offers, biting his cheek. You stop, staring at him in disgust. “What?” He trails. “You’ve got to be fucking kidding with me.” You shake your head in disbelief and keep walking.

“What’s wrong?” He keeps up. “Seriously, Dempsey, are you hitting on me now?” “And why would that be so terrible?”

“Geez, Dempsey, what is wrong with you?” You deadpan. “You are such an ass, you know that? Do you always treat girls like shit?” You gape at his blank face. “Jenny. From last Saturday. You think it’s OK to throw girls around like that?”

“What? No! I- uh, Jenny and I aren’t serious, if that’s what you’re thinking.” He winces, scratching his neck.

“Yeah, right. Of course not.”

“Look, can I take you out this weekend? To Rosie’s maybe? I’ve wanted to maybe get to be with you out of school. We could go to the movies?” You’re at the cafeteria doors now, but Zach shuts them with his left arm, blocking the way in front of you. You snort. “You can’t be serious.” You watch as his face falls and his mouth twitches.

“What’s so bad about going out with me?”

“God, you are such a jerk, Zach!” You groan, throwing your free hand in exasperation. He winces at the sound of his name being used so hatefully- he’s only ever heard you say Dempsey. He tries to forget about all the times he’s dreamed of his name coming out of your mouth, but decides he hates it when you yell it at him. “You think it’s fun, don’t you? Having no respect for girls whatsoever. You get off buttering them up with kisses and flowers and take them to the movies only to ignore them completely a day or two later. Who, in their right mind, would ever want to go out with someone like you?”

“I only ever wanted to go to that fucking movie theatre because I heard you were going to be there!” His voice rises to a shout. It echoed through the halls, and you wince knowing someone would hear. “You think I wanted to watch that stupid chick flick, with all that shit about high heels and prom? Fuck, I never even liked Jen! Why would I when I’ve always wanted someone else?”

His breath was heavy. Suddenly it was hard to swallow. You try to stand your ground, staring at him. “Nice one. You think it’d be easy for me to believe that, what with your list of conquests and a new girl making out on your desk each week? You must be daft, Zach Dempsey.”

He scowls. “I never wanted them. Never. I just- I just thought that maybe if you saw that everyone wanted me, just maybe you would have wanted me too.” His face softens, and he starts fiddling with his fingers. “Okay, I get it. You could never want me. I know, I just thought I could change that somehow. I’m used to getting my way, you know. Girls flock me, throw themselves at me. I’m used to getting everything I want, but then you’re here, in front of me, and fuck, I’ve never wanted to kiss anything more in my life.”

“Okay,” You say softly, before you can stop yourself. He barely hears it, but his ears perk up. “What’d you say?”

“I said okay,” You clear your throat, and bite your lip to keep yourself from smiling as his lips form into a helpless grin. “Saturday night, Rosie’s?”
“Fuck yes!” He fistbumps the air, then stops as soon as he realises you’re still in front of him. You giggle and hide your face in your hands as he leans forward without thinking, grabbing you by the waist and lifting you in the air. You couldn’t help your cheeks from turning red. Zach Dempsey was adorable. He really was.

“Okay, I’ll see you in Trig?” He asks, palming his phone in his front pocket. He’d have to tell Foley, he was thinking. Man, his best friend would be so proud. His head was rushing when he swooped in and pressed his lips to your flushed cheek. “I can’t wait.”




thanks for sticking around! give this a heart and reblog if you want more, and follow my blog if you want to be notified overtime i post a new imagine! this is a brand new blog and i’m so excited to see what ideas you might have for me.

MORNING AFTER WITH BTS || Friends version

waking up next to your best friend after a drunk one night stand can’t be good… right?

Seokjin:

★you and jin had shared a bed many times

★so waking up next to you wasn’t something that bothered him

★he was used to waking up with a dead arm because you were laid on it

★what did bother him was that the two of you were naked

★he’d scrunch up his face trying to piece the small bits of memory he had together

★the panic would rise slightly as he tried to remember if he was protected

★that would soon be quashed when he saw the foil wrapper on the bedside drawers

★he’d then begin to panic over what would happen when you woke up

★would you leave and never talk to him again?

★over something the two of you couldn’t even remember?

★he decided to just treat it like any other time you two wake up together

★he carefully moved you from his arm and onto a pillow

★pulled on a pair of pyjamas

★and went to cook breakfast for the two of you

★when you finally woke and went to find him in the kitchen he’d offer you a small smile

★’you’re making omelette?’

★’it’s your favourite’

★’no egg pun with that?’

★’my egg puns aren’t craking today’

★’oh thank god. i thought you were going to be off with me’

★’why would i do that?’

★’you might see me different after last night’

★’i do see you different’

★’oh’

★’i see you as a god/goddess. now sit down and have your breakfast’

★the two of you ate while talking about the last thing you remember from last night

★'it isn’t as bad as they make it look in movies. we haven’t screamed at eachother, nor do we regret it’

★’you don’t regret it?’

★’i got to sleep with the most handsome man in the world, what’s to regret?’

★’you’re such an idiot’



Yoongi:

★more like afternoon after 

★you woke before him

★and decided it would be best to let the poor guy try get as much sleep as possible

★when you move to get off the bed to dress and leave, he’ll groan as his sleep was disturbed

★he’d watch you pull on your clothes then clear his throat

★’so that’s it? you’re not even going to tell me how i was?’

★’how do you not know how you were?’

★’i was drunk’

★’so was i’

★’well we’re just gonna have to do it again’

★when you threw a piece of clothing at him he’d laugh and sit up

★’you want to go get breakfast?’

★’it’s two in the afternoon’ 

★’we’re breaking the fast, Y/N. therefore it’s breakfast’

★’here’s me thinking i would have breakfast made for me’

★’i’m just as disgusted about last night i deserve compensation in the form of food also’

★when you frowned at his words, he’ll reach to pull you back onto the bed

★’it’s called a joke, love’

★he’d wrap the covers around you along with his arms

★he’d nuzzle his face into you

★and his hands would come to rest on your stomach under your shirt

★’i was serious about the doing it again thing. i’d like to do it again many times’ 

★’is that your way of asking me to be your friend with benefits?”

★’no, that was my way of asking if you’d be my girlfriend/boyfriend’

★’will i get breakfast in bed?’

★’no’

★’then it’s a no from me’

★’you little shit’

★you’d both stay laid in bed until your stomach growled

★he’d order food from his phone

★’i could cook’

★’it would require you getting out of bed’

★’we can’t stay in bed forever’

★’not with that attitude you can’t’

★he really loves to play with your hands???

★he’ll trace shapes, lyrics, his shopping list

★when it’s time for you to leave, he’ll kinda just stretch out on the bed 

★and pout

★’take me up on my offer of going out with me’

★’why should i?’

★’because i never want to wake up without you again’


Hoseok:

★softest gentleman to ever live

★when he got out of bed, he’d wrap the covers over you so none of you was exposed

★he’d go and start breakfast and make you both coffee

★when he returned to the room to see you waking up he’d turn to mush

★’breakfast is cooking. do you want to join me for a quick shower?’  

★’that would be lovely’

★’i’ve only got shower gel for me, so you’ll have to smell like me for a while’

★he’d help you out of bed and walk you to the bathroom  

★when under the water, he’ll massage your shoulders and back 

★’i could get used to this’ 

★he’d laugh and pull you back to him 

★’do you want to get used to it?’

★he’d sway with you in his arms

★’we should go eat’

★helps you get dried 

★let’s you wear something from his wardrobe

★gushes over it

★is a big ball of mush for you

★sits you on the sofa and spoon feeds you breakfast



Namjoon:

★he’d warm with joy when he wakes up to see your naked form curled into him

★though his smile would quickly fade when he saw the bruises that decorated your skin

★his fingers would run over one slowly

★you’d give a groan in response and he’d move away quickly

★’why did you stop?’ 

★you moved to look up at him

★a frown of your own on your face when you saw his expression

★’do you want me to leave?’

★’no! no, it’s just that I made a mess of you’

★you’d look down to your chest and giggle at the purple spots you now adorned

★’it’s not funny! you should’ve stopped me!’

★’why? it obviously felt good’

★’it looks painful’

★’i think it looks pretty. a souvenir, if you will’

★his mood would lift back up at your laughing 

★he’d move to hover over you and kiss all over the marks  

★he’d help you get dressed 

★would try his best to brush you hair

★but ends up getting the brush stuck

★so he gives up and lets you take over

★this poor pup can’t cook for his life so out to mcdonalds you go

★he’d wrap his arm around you while you walked 

everything happens for a reason, you know’

★‘yeah, it was always destined for you to take me to mcdonalds for lunch’



Jimin:

★jimin took good care of you as your friend

★but after you’d been intimate hot damn be prepared to be treated like royalty

★you’d wake up on your own

★but a few seconds after you’d see him walk through the door with a tray in his hands

★’you’re not leaving until I’ve fed you’

★’who said i was planning on leaving?”

★you’d both giggle alot

★after eating breakfast together in bed, you’d flop next to him and sigh

★’tell me how much you liked it~’ 

★’it was alright’

★’alright? alright wouldn’t have made you moan like that’

★’how do you remember that?’

★’you don’t forget the most beautiful thing you’ve ever heard’

★’shut up’ 

★he’d lay over you to stop you from getting up

★’are we still friends?’

★'you wanna be friends after i had you a quivering mess beneath me? i don’t think so. we’re walking away at least friends with benefits. but me being your boyfriend would be ideal’

★soft bub would turn red when you agreed to the whole dating thing

★he’d move to pin your arms on the bed and straddle your stomach

★’tell me you love me’

★’i don’t’

★’then why’d you say yes?’

★’you got a nice butt’

★would attack you with kisses



Taehyung:

★if you think you could sneak out of bed think again

★he’d have his limbs wrapped around you so tight while you slept

★so when you woke up, you’d try to shimmy out of his grip

★but gave up shortly after 

★so you just laid and waiting for him to wake up

★and when he did you’d be smothered in kisses

★he’d be so happy that you’re still here

★’you didn’t leave?”

★’how could i leave when you’ve got me in a death grip?’

★’oh, sorry’

★he’d free you from the cage his limbs made 

★so you can finally stretch

★upon stretching you finally feel the numbness in your lower half

★b/c my boy goes h a r d 

★when he hears you wince, he frowns and pulls you close to him

★probably says ‘sorry’ 2343223 times

★will run a bath for you to ease some of the throbbing

★but ends up joining you 

★hums while washing your hair

★when you’re dried and dressed he’ll cook for you

★and by cook i mean make toast for you

★he’d sit opposite you, watching you eat

★’is there something on my face?’

★’you’re glowing’

★he’d giggle as your cheeks turned red

★’you look very pretty in the morning’

★’you’re very greasy in the morning’

★he wouldn’t let you out of his sight

★for some reason he thinks you’re ten times more fragile after sex

if another member comes near you he’ll wrap you close to him


Jungkook:

★one huge misunderstanding

★you’d had to leave for whatever reason

★so when he woke up to find your side empty he frown

★and kinda just lay there

★trying to remember as much from last night as possible

★he thought you regretted it because you left

★so he wouldn’t text you

★he didn’t want to feel uncomfortable

★and you thought he didn’t text you beause he was ashamed 

★the two of you would just mope around

★the other members would be upset by the shift of mood

★they’d plan to lock you in a room until you sorted things out and things could go back to normal 

★’so’

★’so’

★’you alright?’

★’missed you a bit, but i’m good’

★’you missed me?’

★’yeah, not having you to talk to is awful’

★’i thought you were ashamed’

★’and i thought you were embarrased’

★’we didn’t speak for two weeks because of a misunderstanding?’ 

★’well when we’re done here you’re coming to the dorms and staying until further notice. I have two weeks to catch up on’ 

Imagine watching your boyfriend Tom talking about you in an interview (Tom Holland x Fem!Reader)

warning: fluffy!! fluff fluff fluff, language

word count: 869

a/n: here’s a cute little imagine I wrote for u guys, i hope u guys like it xx Also, I’m trying something new with this so I’m so excited for u guys to read it!!


You opened your laptop, hoping to find some type of cure for your boredom. Tom’s only been gone for a week and you already missed him terribly. I mean, it’s kind of natural for you to want your boyfriend with you at all times. Or most of the time. Right?

You sighed, opening up YouTube and immediately letting out a little laugh as one of Tom’s interviews popped up in your recommendations. It was titled ‘Tom Holland talks relationships, romance, and more!’ Your eyebrows quirked up as you read it, curiosity getting the better of you as you clicked on it. As the video loaded, you briefly read the description and saw that it was pretty recent, only uploaded two days ago. A thirty-second ad popped up, causing you to roll your eyes in impatience.

Keep reading

Imagine - Zach breaks up with you

Originally posted by pitterpratter

@thrtreasons Request: “pls zach x reader where they dated for a long time and they were super goals but then they broke up idk why and he’s still in love with her and you know he’s not doing well after the tapes and she notices and helps him?? i mean he tells her everything and thinks she’ll hate him etc anyway thank you💫”

It has been exactly one month since you and Zach have broken up, and it was over something extremely stupid. It was over an argument that the two of you had. An argument over the fact that you and Bryce were “too friendly with each other”. Clearly Zach had gone mad. Because you would never cheat on him, and certainly not with Bryce Walker. That guy was a complete asshole and a pervert. If anything, he was always flirting with you, even though you were dating one of his best friends. But you had no intention what so ever to cheat on Zach with Bryce. You loved Zach, you truly did. And he loved you, but clearly not as much as you though because he couldn’t see how it was not you being “too friendly” with Bryce but the other way around.

It has been a painful month for you after the break up. You and Zach were perfect for each other, in your eyes and in the eyes of most of the students at Liberty high. You two were the “IT” couple. Always the talk of the school on how cute the two of you were together and how others wished that they had what you and Zach had. Why did things have to end between the two of you. You remember the night where everything went downhill, like it was yesterday…

“I’m not ‘all over Bryce’ Zach! That’s ridiculous!” You yell.

You and Zach were sitting in your living. Your parents were gone for the weekend on some business trip and Zach had promise to keep you company in the time being. So he had come over to your house so the two of you could cuddle and watch some movies. But things turned south pretty quickly…

“Sure you’re not.” Zach scoffs “You two are always flirting with each other! And right in front of me too!” He booms out.

“You know I’m really surprised that you haven’t left me for him yet, slut…” He breathes out the last word that you nearly missed what he said.

But it’s too late. You heard it. And you have never been more humiliated and furious in your life.

You look at him straight in the eyes, seething, and slap him. Hard. Right across his face.

“You know what!? Fuck you Zachary!” You spit out. “I fucking hate you! Get out!”

Zach scoffs and then says with malice, “Sure, I’ll leave, but know this, we’re fucking done (Y/N). I don’t even know why I went out with such a slut like you in the first place.” Then Zach walks out your door.

Keep reading

vernon; the boy next door (m)

genre/warnings: fluff/romance/smut, flangst, adorkableness, use of non-penetrative sex toys, (not so) dry humping

word count:  14737

feat: Hansol Vernon Chwe/Original Female, Joshua, Jeonghan + various 

prompts: roommate!Vernon, silliness, cuddles, mac n’cheese = love 

(a/n) my birthday project for my muse. thank you for everything vern:) and kisses for @vernkn​ who gifed my soft sweater vernon aesthetic. enjoy!

She loved Joshua Hong.

When she was so graciously offered to live in her aunt’s vacation penthouse close to her university of choice, the only catch was that she had to pay some of the bills. Completely fair, because it was a kind enough gesture to give away a freshly furnished space to a niece you barely talked to. Luckily, there was enough room for another guest, enough to split the rent.

So in comes the savior of her life, brother from another mother, Joshua Hong, decked out in sandy beige Sperry’s and ironed white jeans. Fresh from South California, he wore their sunshine on his smile, and their attitude in his Cheshire eyes. He was attending the same university as well, and was conveniently looking for a means to stay. Needless to say, she pounced on him at orientation before he could ask anyone else.

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“Growing Up a Winchester”  Sam/Dean x Sister Reader

Word Count: 3,867

Sam and Dean Winchester x Sister Reader, some Castiel x Reader

Summary: While on a long road trip to a hunt, you reminisce about your memories growing up with your brothers, from the best ones, to the worst, to the most awkward.

Warnings: Mentions of death, language, angst, light smut between Cas and the reader

Flashbacks are in italics.

Originally posted by whoeveryoulovethemost

                                                            -

You’re sitting in the backseat of the impala, looking out the window at the scenery. Dean, of course, is driving, and Sam is sitting on the passenger side, sleeping. You have a hard time sleeping in the car, so on long car trips like this, you have a hard time. Thankfully, Dean is usually always awake as well, and serves as your entertainment.

Growing up as the youngest Winchester sibling was not always fun and games, especially being a teenage girl. As much as your brothers love you, they know absolutely nothing about teenage girls. You more often than not felt like you were raising yourself, but you wouldn’t have it any other way. Your brothers are your rock, and you would never leave them.

You can barely remember the first time you’d met Dean. Your dad, John, had gotten your mother pregnant and throughout the first four years of your life, he was very in and out of your life. He’d only show up at your house once a year, normally on your birthday. He’d call on holidays, but you were too young to hold a conversation. A little after your fourth birthday, your mother had passed away from cancer. You had nothing and no one else, and your dad John came to your rescue.

“Hey, kiddo.” John had told you, picking you up from the hospital. He looked tired, the bags underneath his eyes more prominent than you had ever seen them.

“Hi.” You say quietly. You didn’t really know what was going on. All you knew was that your mommy was in a better place and you were going to live with your dad. You remember being nervous, because to you, your dad was like a stranger. You knew nothing about him.

“Do you have your stuff? You’re comin’ to stay with me and your brother, Dean. Dean’s excited to meet you, you know.”

Keep reading

On Camera

Or that one time Lance decided to live-stream when he really should’ve been resting. The (established) klance YouTuber AU that no one asked for, but you’re all getting. Domestic klance sharing an apartment is my jam, and throwing a little angst in there is a bonus.

I’m actually really happy with this, and if people like it I might do an actual long AU thing with this setting, so feedback is appreciated! For now though, just a one-shot. This is also proof that the best writing for me happens at 3 AM… oops. I hope you enjoy!!

Psst @taylor-tut this is that thing I not-so-discreetly mentioned in my tags, have a wonderful day.


Lance McClain was a rulebreaker in every way, except for one thing. He believed it was always necessary to have a routine, and never stray from it. If asked, he’d inform you that a steady routine was the foundation for a steady life.

Showering every morning, brushing his teeth every night, thinking of a cheesy one-liner for Keith each day without fail, the list went on. Little things.

One of his many routines was to live-stream, always on Sundays. Because who did anything besides sit at home, definitely not with a hangover, on Sunday?

New videos went up on Wednesdays, but the carefully edited ones on YouTube and his live-streams were very different. Many fans even preferred seeing him live, mainly because he couldn’t stop himself from making bad jokes, and was usually too lazy to straighten his bedhead.

And they would always ask him to go bother Keith in the next room, which Lance more often than not was obliged to do.

So when he woke up late one Sunday with a killer headache and a stuffy nose, Lance wasn’t about to let it get in the way of his routine.

He discovered a note from Keith on the kitchen table that said he’d be out running errands, and Lance lamented that he hadn’t been awake to tell Keith to get soup. After shooting him a quick text, the only response Lance got was “You don’t even like soup.”

Lance chuckled softly, which quickly led to a series of wet coughs. Clearing his throat, he began to set up his camera, wrapped himself up in blankets, and started the stream.

“Hey guys,” he said with a small wave, and winced at how raspy his voice sounded. He sniffled, and edged the off-screen box of tissues closer to him.

The chat was quickly flooded with “HELLO”’s and “LANCE!”’s. By now, all the fans knew when he went live. Lance was, however, surprised to see several inquiries about his health.

There were quite a few “Are you okay”’s, and even some “You seem sick”’s, with one of Lance’s personal favorites being “You look like shit.”

He read off the last comment with a short laugh. “Thanks, KeiththeKutie05.” Then, as an afterthought, he added, “Nice name.”

After a short pause of him continuing to scan the chat, he spoke again. “I’m fine though, just got a cold or something. Nothing could stop me from live-streaming!”

As the viewers seemed satisfied with this response, Lance wasn’t surprised to see the usual repetition of “Where’s Keith?” in the chat. He sighed.

“Mullet Boy is running errands,” Lance told them, rolling his eyes for effect. “Probably going out to buy a new pair of fingerless gloves.”

Keith and Lance had been sharing an apartment for some time now, and the Internet was very invested in their relationship, or so it seemed. Keith was annoyed by the whole thing at first, but Lance found it entertaining that his fans seemed to like Keith better than him. Lance could, admittedly, relate.

Eventually, the accidental publicity that came with dating a YouTuber inspired Lance to make a collab channel for them, though Keith never got his own. He insisted that he was too awkward to film anything by himself, which Lance secretly found adorable.

Numerous people began telling Lance to prank Keith when he came back, to which Lance grinned. Playing tricks on Keith during live-streams had become somewhat of a tradition in and of itself. “Maybe I will,” Lance tapped his chin thoughtfully. “You guys got any ideas?”

Lance read through some of the responses but saw nothing particularly appealing, then perked up at someone asking when he’d do a video with Hunk again.

“Actually, I got some good news for you guys,” Lance declared, sneezing into his elbow before continuing. “Hunk and I are going to be playing videogames on Pidge’s channel sometime next week, and Hunk has both of us coming over to his and Shay’s for a baking video. I haven’t decided what we should do for my part yet. Maybe a Q & A?”

Once again, Lance’s eyes scanned through the suggestions until his eyes snagged on one he liked. “Cards Against Humanity, huh? With YouTube’s shitty new rules it could get demonetized, but I do love that game, so why not? I’m positive Pidge owns it, and I can tell them to bring it over. Maybe I can even convince Keith to play with us.”

Lance couldn’t help but smile at the enthusiastic response that got.

“I think I’m going to get myself some more coffee,” Lance decided, looking down at the empty mug resting on a coaster. “Last night Keith made me watch this really scary movie, so I naturally had trouble falling asleep. Gotta have coffee to keep myself functioning. Do you guys prefer coffee or tea? Keith and I are both coffee people, but he likes his black. No sugar or anything, disgusting if you ask me.”

Lance almost regretted this comment as a war of opinions on black coffee slowly took over his computer screen.

“Well, anyway, I’m gonna go to the kitchen real quick. I’d bring my laptop but… I’d probably spill coffee on it, and we can’t have that.”

Lance stood, and was about to start towards the next room when his vision abruptly blurred and refocused. He knew immediately something was wrong.

His legs felt like jelly, and the room seemed to spin as he took a single step forward. Had he only been fine when he was sitting? Lance had half the mind to sit right back down, but his brain was growing muddled, and direction simply didn’t make sense.

Lance’s migraine flared abruptly in intensity, and then suddenly the wood floor was rushing up to meet him. Everything went dark.


Keith glanced at his phone as he moved around to the back of the car, where he’d stored the groceries, and had to repress a fond smile at the Twitter notification on the screen. Lance was, apparently, live-streaming. Keith thought he might actually miss his time-slot for once, but he figured by now he should be used to the Cuban boy’s dedication to routine.

Lance’s channel got some negative feedback from more ‘sophisticated’ YouTubers for being… all over the place. A dedicated beauty guru, or PrinceLotor as his channel was called, had dragged Lance on Twitter on more than one occasion.

Lance was anything but consistent when it came to videos. He did whatever he felt like doing that week, and the fans loved it. Sometimes he played songs on his guitar, sometimes he did prank-calls. He would film Q&A’s, or tell stories about all the interesting stuff that happened in his life— Lance’s bad luck was rather famous. He recommended TV shows, did hauls of what he got for holidays, vlogged on occasion when he went to stores, you name it.

But Lance’s favorite thing to do were collabs.

Hunk, an incredibly smart engineer, had a baking channel as a hobby, and Lance was his favorite assistant.

Pidge was a newer gaming channel, but their obsession with theorizing about the game’s lore while playing and busting other fan theories made them grow in popularity quickly. For two player games, Lance was ideal.

Allura was an extremely popular beauty channel, and Lance let her give him makeovers whenever she wanted to. Shiro could use extra actors in his short films.

And Keith… well, the two of them had a channel together that had no pattern whatsoever, much to Lance’s dislike. Absolutely spontaneous and random, usually doing things by popular fan request, like dancing or karaoke. And uploads were by no means regular.

Keith was surprised at how much he had started to enjoy it. Lance had been telling him he should start an art channel, with animations and speedpaints and the like, and Keith wasn’t… that opposed to the idea. It could be a useful source of income, to help with all the debt he would come into after graduating college. But he’d never tell Lance.

Without thinking too much of it, Keith swiped right across his screen, taking him to Lance’s tweet about the live-stream in order to like it. He was about to close his phone again and begin taking groceries up to their apartment when his eyes snagged on something odd.

Lots of the replies to Lance’s tweet mentioned him, particularly the recent ones, even tagging him in it. Keith couldn’t fathom why they would be talking about him if he wasn’t on the stream, unless Lance was complaining about him live again.

Keith bristled. Lance better not be still annoyed at him for the movie the last night. Signs wasn’t scary at all, and not even a real horror movie! Lance simply stated that ‘he didn’t mess with aliens.’

But when he looked at all the mentions, Keith felt his irritation give way to confusion, and then panic.

“KEITH GET TO UR APARTMENT”, “YOU BETTER GO CHECK ON LANCE”, “HOLY SHIT HES COLLAPSED KEITH HURRY YA ASS UP”, and the one that really sent Keith reeling “UH GUYS IS IT JUST ME OR DID WE WITNESS LANCE’S DEATH ON CAMERA?”

Keith slammed the trunk, all groceries forgotten as he sprinted into the apartment building and ran for the stairs. They only lived on the third floor, and he was not about to wait for the slow, crowded elevator.

He fumbled to fit his key in the lock and opened the door to the living room, only to spot the live-streaming set up, with no Lance. Keith rushed forward, but drew up short when he realized that Lance was in fact passed out on the floor in front of the couch.

“Oh my god— Lance!” Keith sank down beside him, turning his boyfriend over. “Lance, are you okay? Can you hear me?”

Lance’s eyes opened slowly, and Keith felt relief flood his system, despite the uncharacteristically pale skin. “K-Keith? Wha… I thought you were shopping?”

“I’m back,” Keith answered shortly, wincing as he pressed a hand onto Lance’s forehead. “Jeez, you’re on fire. Why didn’t you tell me you were this sick?!”

“Are you a fire?” Lance mumbled under his breath, and Keith furrowed his brows in confusion.

“What? No, Lance, I was saying you have a fever.”

“Because you’re hot and I want s'more,” Lance continued, as if he hadn’t heard him at all. Keith was suddenly painfully aware that the live-stream was still going, and that his face was even more flushed than Lance’s, and not because of a fever.

Keith glanced at the computer sitting on the coffee table briefly, noting that most of the chat was full of random keyboard smashing. He smiled apologetically. “At least he’s conscious,” he shrugged, hoisting Lance up off the floor and propping one of his arm’s around Keith’s shoulder. “I’m going to take this idiot to the hospital, he’s way too hot.”

“So you finally admitted it,” Lance’s voice was barely audible, and Keith glanced back down to see him grinning up at Keith tiredly.

“I meant your temperature, dumbass. Next time, tell me when you’re not feeling well.”

And with that, he shut off the stream.

Paper Stars

Summary: Dan starts to get love notes in his locker in the form of origami stars, so he gets the help of his best friend, Phil, to figure out who it is.
Word Count: 2,398
Warnings: cussing
A/N: Thanks to @insanityplaysfics as always for giving me ideas. I’m a fucking sap recently because my boyfriend proposed to me and I just wanna write a crapton of fluff and puke rainbows everywhere. This is short and sweet, which is very rare for me! I hope you like it anyways!
Read it on AO3

-

The day Dan opened his locker to a strange slip of paper folded into an origami star was one of the strangest moments of his life.

“What,” Dan said simply, giving the offending paper a strange look. He bent down and retrieved it, staring at it long and hard. It was thin, made with a flowery paper, and he could just make out words written in very small print on it. “What,” Dan said again.

With a small amount of struggle, Dan managed to unwrap the star, revealing the writing inside. The script was sloppy to the point where Dan thinks it was written with the wrong hand. Dan said “what” again and the word didn’t even sound like it was real anymore. It took him a few minutes to read what it said due to the scribble, but he eventually managed.

‘i used to stare out the window because i thought the scenery was beautiful. Then i saw you and suddenly the world didnt seem nearly as captivating as before.

Keep reading

i like you (this is a problem)

“Here’s the thing-” Lily said, marching into the pub and pulling out a stool.


“We’re closed.” James interrupted without looking up from wiping down the bar.

“I want a dog.” Lily barrelled on without hearing him. “But my landlord doesn’t allow pets so I was wondering-“

“I’m not getting a fucking dog for you.” James said firmly.

Lily blinked at him. “I was going to ask if you thought it was morally wrong to raise it in my air-vent.” There was a silence. James was caught between hoping she wasn’t serious and knowing that she was. “Your idea seems better.” Lily admitted.

“Really. Talk me through that, is it because there is no animal abuse involved?”

“I was thinking more along the lines of then you’d have to clean up the poo, but the no animal abuse is also good.”


“Y’know” Sirius was lying on top of the bar, waving around a beer and staring at the ceiling. Nobody looked up. “I always thought once we owned a bar we would spend a solid 60% percent of our time drunk, and that hasn’t happened.” 

Remus, still wiping down tables, said “I shudder to think what you’d be like on your own.”

“Since we bought the bar we spend more time drunk than we used to?” Peter consoled, baffled.

Sirius sat up. “I would say we spent about 15% percent of our time drunk before the bar, and after the bar we spend about 25%. That is an increase of only ten percent.”

“Where are you pulling these numbers from?” Lily asked while holding the ladder for James, who was avoiding the dishwasher by pretending to fix the squeaky window.

“On top of being an excellent barman I double as a statistician.”

“You are neither of those things.” Remus said. Sirius glared.

“Fuck you Moony. At school you were always saying I didn’t do enough math, and here I am, doing math, and you’re abusing me.”

Remus threw a dishtowel at him and gestured to the kitchen. “Go unstack the dishwasher.”

“Fantastic.” Sirius said, throwing his hands in the air. “This is what I get for my brief foray into math. Insulted and unloading dishes.” He jumped off the bar and mockingly gave Remus’ back the finger. James laughed.


Keep reading

Who says I love you first - Boyf Riends

• ALRIGHT ITS TOTALLY MICHAEL HOWEVER STUFF HAPPENS TO not bad stuff. It’s the cute stuff

• so basically they start dating after the whole squip fiasco, after dating Christine for two weeks Christine realizes that Jeremy likes Michael and that she didn’t like Jeremy as much as she thought so she decides to be Jeremy’s wing women for getting Michael

• Michael finds out they broke up and is ECSTATIC

• Eventually Christine runs up to Michael, shoves Jeremy into his arms and screams ‘THIS BOY HAS A HIGE FUCKING CRUSH ON YOU SO DATE HIM’

• Michael is confused, but takes him to Dave and Busters that night and they totally dominate every game (I might do a little head Cannon or one shot on this later )

• jump forward three weeks and Michael and Jeremy are in Jeremy’s basement playing video games together

•Michael looks over at Jeremy and stares at him, taking in his lovely little features and quirks

• he loves how Jeremy sticks out his tongue when playing a game, and concentrating v v v hard

• he loves when Jeremy’s eyes light up in amusement when Michael accidentally messes up

• he loves Jeremy’s snicker when this happens as well

• he loves when Jeremy pumps his fist in the air when they beat a level/ win a thing (yes I know video games(no, no I don’t))

• he loves - oh fuck he loves JEREMY

• Michael has a brief mental freak out

• he did just realize that he’s in love with the guy he’s known since he was little

• what Michael doesn’t realize is that Jeremy is also mentally freaking out cause he just realized that he didn’t just love

• Michaels soft hair

• Michaels slight accent

• Michaels joy in retro shit

• he loved Michael in general

• neither of them say anything for about two weeks, both thinking it’s to soon and WHAT IF THEY THINK IM WEIRD WHAT IF THEY THINK ITS TO GAY oh wait. We are gay.

• eventually, its late at night, the boyfs are once again in Jeremy’s basement, they’re watching a marvel movie cause Michael fucking loves marvel AND CAPTAIN AMERICA MMMM YES

• Jeremy has his head in Michaels lap, Michael is stroking his hair.

• half way through civil war, Michael leans down and kisses Jeremy’s forehead

• Jeremy just smiles up at him and Michael fucking M E L T S

• “God Jer, I love you.”

• Michael freezes when he realizes what he said

• Jeremy does too

• then he slowly whispers

• “Shit man, I was gonna say it first damn it.”

• Michael takes in a deep breath, slowly releasing it

• then he smirks

• “Well sucks to suck babe, player two has you beat”

• “okay well, I’m initiating the next mile stone so fuck you”

• and he does. When they’re 22 Jeremy asks Michael to marry him

• obviously he says yes

It was kinda short but yeah I got that idea last night. I always get my ideas at night

I Miss You (One Shot)

I Miss You: After weeks of being apart from your boyfriend, Bucky, the distance become a bit too much for you to handle.

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader

Warnings: Phone sex. Dirty talk. Mentions of past injuries. Graphic details of sex. Porn gifs are used. Super NSFW. (If you’re not comfy with phone sex or anything else listed, keep scrolling.)

A/N: I have no idea where this idea came from, but just know that it’s for a good cause! ;)

Keep reading

Thoughts on The Emoji Movie

           It came as no surprise to me, or anyone else, that The Emoji Movie was a disastrous train-wreck of a movie with no redeeming qualities whatsoever. From the moment it was announced, The Emoji Movie was a joke, little more than a punchline of what corporate Hollywood would make just to pander to a younger audience. Yet, by creating the shoddy garbage pile of a “film” (I use this term sparingly) that is The Emoji Movie, Hollywood has done something incredible—they have killed art.

PART ONE

           The “plot” of The Emoji Movie is one that has been presented countless times before: a misfit must leave home to change himself but learns along his adventure that his true value lies in his uniqueness. In this iteration of the “finding yourself” story the hero is Gene, a socially-outcast “meh” emoji who is terrible at what he does—he has all sorts of “non-meh” feelings that he simply can’t contain. On his first day of work, he is called upon from his emoji station to be used, but he freaks out at the last minute and causes a glitch in the sending of the emoji, leading to Alex (the phone’s user) embarrassing himself in front of the girl he likes. Because of this, the smiling emoji, Smiler, who is the “big status quo boss lady” decides to kill him. Gene, however, runs away from the antivirus software and hides in the “loser emoji” section of Textopolis (the city where all the emojis live together). There he meets Hi-5, who was once a famous and well-liked emoji who got to stay in the “favorites” section of Alex’s phone, but hasn’t been used in weeks and now seeks to regain his lost fame.

           In order to reprogram Gene’s malfunction and get Hi-5 back into the favorites section, the pair leave Textopolis and go to a piracy app that Alex, a fifteen-year-old boy, has on his phone for some reason. Gene’s parents then leave after him to try and find him and Smiler sends her antivirus robot soldiers outside Textopolis to apprehend Gene. Meanwhile, in a story beat stolen straight from Wreck-It Ralph and The Lego Movie, they meet Jailbreak, a hacker emoji who serves as the purple-haired punk love interest for the movie. Jailbreak refuses to help them at first, but when she sees Gene’s ability to express multiple faces, she agrees to work together to get to “the source code” in “the cloud.” Then, the antivirus robots appear in the piracy app, (despite the fact that they were given orders to follow Gene’s parents, who are nowhere in sight) and the hero trio escape through a tunnel to Candy Crush where Gene gets trapped and they have to play the game to help him escape. This scene has absolutely no bearing on the rest of the film and is only an overblown advertisement for a phone app, which one will likely notice as a reoccurring theme in this movie.

           After escaping Candy Crush, they take a tunnel to Dance Now (available now in the app store) and they have to play the game because Hi-5 pushed a button for some reason. Here they reveal that Jailbreak can’t dance, and the dramatic stakes are heightened, except they aren’t because Gene teaches her how and then they do the “Emoji Bop” together in what I assume is supposed to be a display of self-love. But oh no! The antivirus robots show up again somehow, so our trio has to escape fast, or risk being deleted. Then, because his phone is playing Dance Now music during class, Alex deletes the app, and Hi-5 fails to escape, sending him to “the trash.”

           Naturally, because of the friendship that the three characters have cultivated together after knowing each other for two hours, Jailbreak and Gene decide to use Spotify to travel to the trash and rescue their companion. Meanwhile, Gene’s “meh” parents have had a falling out because each one blames the other for their son malfunctioning. It’s ok though, because they meet in an Instagram photo and Gene’s dad reveals that he malfunctions too, so naturally they make it all up it each other Alex also decides to delete his entire phone because it sent the wrong emoji one time and made noises on its own. Gene and Jailbreak then save Hi-5 from the trash and they’re chased by a bigger, badder antivirus that follows them until they get to Dropbox, where it can’t get them for some reason.

           They then have to upload themselves to the cloud, and each character uses their own talents to get past the firewall. At this point the movie realizes it makes no sense and in a series of nonsensical rapid-fire events proceed as follows: Gene professes his love to Jailbreak, who it turns out is actually a princess emoji, Jailbreak denies him because of a throwaway line earlier in the movie about her being an empowered woman, the antivirus appears somehow and takes Gene back to Textopolis so he can die in front of the other emojis, Jailbreak and Hi-5 fly back on the Twitter bird to rescue him, Alex begins to delete his phone but chooses not to when Gene sends himself to Addie and she responds with “that was a cool emoji” (verbatim), Smiler is crushed by a giant robot, the emojis have a dance party, and everyone lives happily ever after.

           Watching the shoddy piece of work The Emoji Movie calls a story, I felt my head spinning with questions—not just regarding the plot holes and contrivances, but to the world itself. How do emojis reproduce? If emojis age in years, as is stated in the movie, how could any emoji be older than the amount of time Alex has had his phone? What if an emoji isn’t at the station when it is called upon? How does time flow in the phone as opposed to outside of it? Are all the emojis that marry the same emojis incestuous? Why do some emojis have names like “Gene” while others are simply called by their appearances, like Hi-5? Why is the Christmas tree shown in public in the first scene but then shown in the loser lounge two scenes later? How do the emojis know the history of their app? Why do actions in some apps affect Alex’s phone while actions in other apps do not? How to the antiviruses find Gene and his crew over and over again? Why didn’t Smiler send any antiviruses after Jailbreak when she first left Textopolis? Why does Alex try to delete his phone after sending one incorrect emoji and having it make noise in class twice? How does the illegal antivirus get into Dropbox? How did Smiler get the illegal antivirus? Why did Smiler feel the need to kill Gene in front of the other emoji? Why did Smiler feel a need to kill Gene in the first place? Why does the girl on the Dance Now app ignore jailbreak messing up after the second time? How do all the emojis come back from deletion? If the trash is emptied out daily why is an email from weeks ago still in there? And, most importantly, why did I choose to watch this movie. The Emoji Movie does not answer these question, because it doesn’t care.

           The Emoji Movie doesn’t care about its story, its congruity, or the specifics of its world, because none of it matters. The story beats, directly stolen from other, better, movies, are still in place, and none of the specifics beyond set up for this formulaic and unoriginal wholesale feel-good message have any relevance to the story. The pink-haired rogue stolen straight from The Lego Movie has no personality beyond what the plot demands, and the same can be said for almost any of the other characters. Gene, or, discount Wreck-It Ralph, has the defining personality trait of “feeling things” and his story arc leads to him “feeling more things” and Hi-5’s slightly more defined emotional journey leads from him wanting fame to wanting friends. All the other characters in the story are even less one-dimensional, somehow, with personality traits that are all literally written into their very names and appearances.

           But ultimately, these characters are simply set pieces. There is no investment in the world of the emojis, no feeling when the entire phone is deleted. Half the scenes in the movie are just cash cow product placement filler, and it becomes clear when one realizes halfway through the movie that none of the adventures they have seem to matter, even within the context of their own story. When the characters themselves seem to realize that their journey is pointless, it becomes impossible for an audience to care about or interact meaningfully with the film that they’re viewing, and the best that any viewer can conjure is a “meh.”

PART TWO

           The story of The Emoji Movie is a clear cash grab, and rivetingly unengaging in its poor execution, but more lies beneath the surface. The morals that The Emoji Movie tries to impart to its audience are well-intentioned (as any moral is), but also inherently flawed, and violently mangled in every scene where they are introduced. Indeed, the heaping dumpster fire of a film that titles itself The Emoji Movie exists on multiple levels of terribleness, not using poor storytelling techniques, but imparting poor morals through these techniques as well. It often contradicts itself, falling flat on its face and hopelessly bumbling between individualistic self-love and a quite utilitarian doctrine—almost impressive.

           The Emoji Movie has all the markings of a summer Hollywood “live your true self” movie at its beginning. The main character has a specific, boring role that he is expected to serve unquestioningly, and is made a pariah for breaking from this role. His sidekick also rebels against the system in his own right, trying to cheat his way back into a position of power. By focusing on these two, the story accentuates the flaws with the emoji system and how it emotionally damages those who are forced to suffer under it. Even the villain, Smiler, is affected in her own right—he constant need to maintain happiness seems to have driven her to a place of near insanity. In the opening monologue (a completely different problem), Gene points this out this flaw to the audience by noting how the laughing and crying emojis can never break their character and the viewers begin to see the thriving city of Textopolis as a flawed dystopia. However, after the first scene, little attention is given to these flaws, instead focusing on Smiler herself as a villain. The plight of the “loser emojis” (emojis that don’t ever get used) is also fantastically mishandled. They are only seen twice in the movie and the second time is in a post credit scene where they remain in their basement, unaffected by the event of the entire movie. After sitting through an entire movie with the message that we should be ourselves instead of acting how society tells us to, we see that by nature, some people will (or must) always be excluded from the metaphorical “emoji dance party” for being themselves. The “self” that The Emoji Movie pushes is not just a best self, but also a “most useful” self.

           This is expanded upon in Gene’s journey, where he goes from being a hyperactive “meh” emoji to (briefly) being a good “meh” emoji to finally learning to use his true power as a multi-faceted expression emoji. In the stages before he discovered his true potential, Gene was outcast by his peers—and any viewer could argue that this was rightfully so. Gene broke the emoji picking device and injured dozens of emojis in the process of his one mistake and possibly endangered the safety of the entire phone. Gene then realizes his mistake and goes off to “fix” himself, only to come back stronger and more useful than ever. As is the case in many stories, Gene is accepted only after his usefulness becomes apparent, and the villain is revealed as a bloodthirsty authoritarian rather than the level-headed leader the denizens of Textopolis cited her as being. All is forgiven for Gene and the emojis are given a world where they can serve their own purpose to society, whatever that purpose might be.

           Utilitarian theory is nothing new, and it has both its merits and its flaws, but the type of utilitarianism presented in The Emoji Movie is inherently flawed, as it places Gene’s happiness above the well-being of the collective for the majority of the movie. The ending in itself is also serves as a perfect propaganda point for the utilitarian theory that it begins to uphold later on. Gene obtains happiness when he is most useful to the group collective—and thus, happiness becomes associated with utility to the group. Instead of positing that happiness can be found through the self, or that the self can and should be used to help others, The Emoji Movie combines the two, raising the idea that true bliss can only be achieved when your “self” is given to others.

           Ultimately, this idea is an idea that I disagree with. Whether or not you choose to side with me is up to you, but, speaking objectively, the romanticizing of self-sacrifice is an idea that has tangible harm on audiences who are fed it without question. Modern Japan, for instance, continued to have problems with high suicide rates due to the presentation of hara-kiri, or suicide by sword as “altruistic” in many historical texts (Suicide in 20th Century Japan, 150). This is not to say that using one’s self to assist others is harmful—good deeds are the basis of a functioning society—it is simply to note that the mixed messages that The Emoji Movie gives point towards both complete discovery and complete subjugation of the self in an unhealthy and shoddy portrayal of a moral that has always been cliched at best.

           The Emoji Movie also makes the mistake of attempting to tackle “women’s issues,” despite not even passing the Bechdel Test. Throughout the movie, Jailbreak’s primary motivator is that she wants to be free to express herself however she wants, which she will obtain by reaching the cloud. The movie attempts to attach this to womanhood by attaching this to Jailbreak wanting to escape the oppressive strictures of heteropatriarchal femininity—except, in the finale, she is framed as being in the wrong for not reciprocating Gene’s feelings for her. Not just this, but the day is saved by her using her femininity and consenting to be with Gene, despite her feelings on the matter never being brought up for discussion. Despite the single throwaway line about “men getting credit for women’s work” The Emoji Movie is not pro-woman, and could easily be interpreted as the opposite of that. It defines traditional femininity as being the most useful aspect of a woman to a society and inherently ties all its female characters to something within that stricture, pushing its heteropatriarchal utilitarianist propaganda points deep into the dirt as it tries the make the point that “sensitive guys are cool too.” This is not to say that women who embrace their traditional femininity are by any means being women incorrectly—The Emoji Movie just happens to portray its women poorly, using them always as tools for the man-driven plot and never fleshing them out as characters.

           Tony Leondis offered his own interpretation of The Emoji Movie’s story, calling it a “coming-out story” which is significant, as Leondis is both the director of the movie and a gay man. If one looks from a distance and squints, the similarities between The Emoji Movie and a coming-out story can become visible. Gene is outcast for his “malfunction” as many gay teens will be. The butchering that follows this plot point is incredibly poorly done, and leads to something to utterly offensive and heterosexual to be called a “coming-out story.” First and foremost, a “coming-out story” needs to reach the very low bar of deviating from traditional heterosexuality in its story’s romantic subplots, somehow. This seems to go without saying, but the team of The Emoji Movie conveniently forgot this, instead tripling down on the action and giving the audience three heterosexual romantic subplots, those being the ones between Alex and Addie, Gene and Jailbreak, and Gene’s Mother and Father. None of these deviate at all from a traditional heterosexual romantic story, and, if anything, Gene and Jailbreak’s story enforces obligatory heterosexuality instead of contradicting it. Not only that, but the farther one goes into the plot, the less a coming out story makes sense. When Gene’s father reveals that he has the same malfunction, is he being implied to be the emoji version of “gay?” In a better movie, this could have been used as a tool to foster an emotional connection between Gene and his father, but The Emoji Movie is not that better movie, so this plot point is essentially forget after it becomes irrelevant. In the finale, Gene actually watches his parents get “erased” and can’t break out any expression except a “meh,” which is telling of how well the emoji movie establishes connections between its characters.

           The themes explored in The Emoji Movie are explore poorly at best, and offensively at worst, often taking a back seat to the far more important message of the film—the advertisements. Ultimately, the reason that The Emoji Movie does such a terrible job with its ideas is that these ideas are only borrowed plot points, there to mask the movie for what it really is—a massive commercial for phone apps. The true message of The Emoji Movie isn’t “be yourself” or even “make yourself useful” it’s “buy our product,” and everything beyond this is simply pointless fluff.

PART THREE

           It’s no secret that The Emoji Movie was a corporatist cash-grab, but it was astounding to see just how deeply that had sunk into the movie itself. The entire story is product placement after product placement, a journey to Dropbox, through Candy Crush and Dance Now,  so unabashed in its capitalism that it made me question the film industry as a whole. Where do we draw the line between business and art? At what point do we leave all hope of creativity behind and choose to instead sink into shameless cash grabs and commercials like The Emoji Movie? Then I realized, with a sinking feeling in my gut, that The Emoji Movie had indeed killed art.

           On its first day, The Emoji Movie made ten million dollars in box office sales—a fifth of what it cost to produce. Despite withering reviews and constant scorn from the demographics it seemed to be targeting, The Emoji Movie will chuckle through its entire life as a movie, because it played us all. This movie is a Frankenstein’s monster created by Hollywood, a mishmash of everything that makes money crammed into one pandering mess of a film, and I’m sure it knows this. I’m sure it knows that it looks like a dumb, out of touch, unwatchable pile of garbage, but I’m also sure that it doesn’t care about this, because it’s found a way to make money without even trying.

           The Emoji Movie probably paid for itself in the sheer amount of advertisements it crammed into its ninety minute runtime, and the young, impressionable minds watching it will all be immediately entranced by the colorful scenery of lands like Spotify and Candy Crush. Sales will go up for the sponsors, and the Hollywood capitalist fat-cats who decided that a movie should be made out of emojis will laugh all the way to their enormous Beverly Hills mansions. They knew that they could take advantage of the “car crash phenomenon” that makes people stare at things they shouldn’t, so they sent The Emoji Movie out to their theatres and made a quick buck for Sony Animation.

           But beyond this, The Emoji Movie sets a precedent. It showed that idiots like me can be drawn to this shit like moths to a light. It showed that movies do not need to have good quality, or have be art, to be marketable, and that the film industry should prioritize business and profits above all else. The Emoji Movie has proved, statistically, that quality cinema should always come second to quality advertising. The time to organize against the Hollywood capitalist is now. A boycott of terrible Sony films is the least the we can do to stop them, even though such an action would be little more than a thorn in their hide. We Must accept that our idiocy and submission to this trash is at least partially responsible for the state of film as it is in America today, and we must break free of the chains that force us into our roles as submissive cash cows.

           Good cinema does good things for those that watch it. It can be used as a tool to convey important and revolutionary ideas, or to relay important information to those that are systemically spat on by traditional education. Historically great films have caused great controversy, such as the movie adaptation of To Kill a Mockingbird which caused riots in the south upon its release. When we let film fall to business we lose a part of our cultural identity—we submit art, heritage, and storytelling as just another part of a capitalist machine.

           We have the buying power. We choose where we spend our money, and where we place our values. No longer can I sit idly in my movie seat and watch terrible movies for fun—the time for action against the greatest threat to art in the western world is now. Resist capitalism, resist the state, and resist the attack upon the most basic human freedom of expression.

Do not go gentle into that good night.

Until next time, Comrades.

-Sunshine

Mile High Club - Tom Holland x Reader imagine

Title: Mile High Club
Pairing: Tom Holland x Reader
Synopsis: legit just pure sin on my part, i’m dragging you all to hell with me
Word Count: 1.6k
WARNING: SMUT SMUT SMUTTY SMUT SMUTTY SMUT SMUT and a bit of swearing (i’m from england, it’s what i do)
A/N: so i saw the recent pics of tom in grey sweats, as well as this old video of tom at the airport and jesus, that boy deadass knows what he’s doing to all of us so, this happened. huge creds to @boyfriendtom for helping me out on this one, i love u my angel!! also, please do watch the video because the way he whips that belt off fcks me up big time. anyways, i hope you enjoy, and let me know what you think here!!

Keep reading

Love Conquers All || Peter Parker Imagine

what is this title

Pairing: Peter Parker x reader

Word Count: 1295 

Request: shenanigans-and-broken-hearts Could you write an imagine where the reader is Tony Stark’s daughter and is dating Peter Parker (Tom Holland)? Something where the reader and peter try to sneak around and be discreet but everyone on the team knows about the relationship except Tony. Maybe Tony could find out in a very uncomfortable way or something like that? You can take what you want (if any) from this. You are a fantastic writer so I’m sure it will be great!

A/N: I had no idea how to end it but hey, at least I tried

Originally posted by spiderholland

Becoming Spider-Man was the best thing Peter Parker could’ve ever done. Without being Spider-Man, he would’ve never met Mr. Stark. Not meeting Mr. Stark ment not meeting his beautiful, amazing girlfriend, Y/N Stark.

Tony Stark was a smart man but, when it came to his daughter’s dating life, he was completely clueless. If he found out that she was dating Peter Parker, the boy would be dead in seconds.

The rest of the team, the Avengers, all knew about Y/N and Peter’s forbidden romance. Thor was the first say anything about the young couple. Do to not being from Earth, Thor was very blunt about things. When the team was training in the Avengers tower, Thor noticed the two being strangely attached to the hip. Tony wasn’t in the room at the time because he was fixing his armor, so Thor took it as an opportunity to speak. Very loudly speak. “Lady Y/N,” he shouted across the training room, gaining the attention of all the heros in the room, “Are you and Peter a- what are they called here, ah, a couple?”

Peter and Y/N stood there shocked, not saying anything but quickly separating from one another. Wanda chuckled, “They are!”

Peter went to quickly protest, “No, no. we’re not. I swear.” The boy was blushing out of embarrassment. “Oh please, we aren’t complete idiots.” Nat stated with a smirk on her face as she crossed her arms.

“Please don’t tell my dad. He-he’ll kill us. Literally. Please don’t say anything to him.” She begged, covering her face with her hands.

The older men and women in room let out a chorus of, alright’s and fine’s. “Thank you,” Y/N said softly with a small smile on her face. Peter looked at her with a large grin on his face.

Months later, the teens were lounging around the tower, watching movies and such. “When are you gonna tell your dad about us?” Peter questioned, scarfing down a hand full of popcorn, still looking straight at the TV.

Y/N sighed, “I have no idea. But when I do tell him, I will try my best to convince him the let you do your ‘internship’ here.” She said as she turned to him. Peter placed the popcorn bowl on the table in front of him before leaning over to pick Y/N up and put her on his lap. She was slightly shocked at first but started giggling. He smiled up at her, since she was on his lap she was lightly taller then him. “I love you so much, Y/N Stark.” He leaned up to kiss her as she smiled into the kiss. Y/N wrapped her arms around his neck and started playing with his hair.

She pulled away from the kiss, “I love you too Peter Parker.” She went back in for another kiss but, he started trailing his lips down her jaw and to her neck. Peter sucked on the skin of her neck before pulling away to admire the red mark that was forming. He continued to kiss and suck(cringe) on her neck before leaning up to capture her lips once again.

The two pulled away from each other as they heard a stampede of footsteps approaching the room they were in. Y/N hopped off of Peter’s lap and onto the couch next to him. Peter put the popcorn bowl back onto his lap quickly, pretending like he wasn’t just making out with his girlfriend.

Peter and Y/N looked over the couch to see who walked into the room, it was the Avengers, with Tony Stark included. “Hey-Hey, how was the mission?” Peter stuttered, still nervous around the team of heros. The couple stood up to go greet the team of heros. Clint chuckled, “Well, we didn’t have as much fun as you too did.” He said pointing to Y/N’s neck. Everyone turned to her to see what Clint was talking about. Y/N had a red, slightly bruising, mark on her neck.

Peter’s face was beet red, avoiding all eye contact. Tony stood there, eyes opened wide as he was glancing between them. “Peter,” Y/N dad said calm, terrifyingly calm, “I’ll give you a five second head start.” Tony stated clenching his fists. Peter started quickly backing away.

Clint, Steve and Natasha leaped to hold the man back. They could practically see steam escaping his ears. While the Avengers worked to hold Tony back, Y/N grabbed Peter’s wrist, to keep him from running away. “Peter.” She said turning the boy around.

“Y/N, he’s going to murder me.” Peter rushed with worried, trying to pull away from her. “No, he won’t.” She said trying to convince him. Peter stayed by Y/N’s side, watching as Tony started to slowly calm down.

“Y/N, could you please explain to me as to why you have a- a, an unholy mark on your neck?” He couldn’t bring himself to say the word hickey, but he spat the words with venom lacing his voice. The team watched the scene unfold before them. They have never seen Tony this angry before.

Still holding onto Peter’s wrist Y/N responded, “Me and Peter are….dating. He’s my boyfriend, dad.” She said as Peter moved his hand into hers, fear still in his eyes.

Tony looked at their interlocked hands and sighed. He saw how much she was scared for Peter. “I-I love her Mr. Stark.” Peter suddenly said looking at his shoes.

Tony gritted his teeth. “If it was anyone other than you Peter, I would’ve done something I would’ve regretted. But Queens needs you.” He forced the words out but, he meant them. He’s good for her, and she’s good for him. “Don’t mess this up Parker. Or I promise you that I will make you suffer.” Tony said as he walked up to the frightened boy. “I won’t m-mess this up, Mr. Stark.” He stammered.

Tony put a forced smile on his face. “Good.” He clasped his hand on Peter’s shoulder, hard enough to make him wince. Tony turned around and left the room, the rest of the team following.

Y/N turned to Peter putting her hands on his neck, “Hey, at least he didn’t kill you.” She said with a laugh, trying to lighten the mood. Peter laughed a nervous laugh putting his hands on your hips. “Now you can finally kiss me without worrying about my dad.” Y/N said kissing the boy’s lips. Peter pulled back, “Yeah, I’m still going to be worried, he wasn’t too reassuring.”

She smiled, “At least that milestone in our relationship is out of the way. Now, let’s actually try and watch the movie without making out this time.” She said grabbing his hand to drag him to the couch. Peter gave her a pouty face which made her giggle. “I don’t think that it would be a very good idea, based on past experience. And by past experience I mean like, just a few minutes ago.”

Peter blushed again muttering, “You’re probably right.”

“I love you, ya dork.” Y/N assured, squeezing his hand. “And I love you,my queen.” He said dramatically with a bow, making Y/N laugh once more. Peter corrected his posture and leaned in to give her a kiss. “Just one more kiss, please.” He begged in a whisper, placing his hands on her hips once again. “Fine. But only one.” She caved as they smashed their lips together.