well this calls for a toast

Jay-Z, captured listening to Beyoncé giving him a toast on his 37th birthday on December 4, 2006. A year later he would propose to her during his birthday trip to Paris.

“Well, I don’t know where to start… First of all, thanks everybody for coming. A lot of you guys just got the call the other day, and I know y’all had to drop a lot of things just to come. And this wouldn’t be anything without everybody here. And y’all are here because you’re special to Jay; therefore you’re special to me. Everybody he loves, I love… [pauses] This is nothing compared to what you’ve done for me. Not only me, but for everybody here. You’ve taught me so many things. I was 20 years old when we first started dating. You taught me how to be a woman. You taught me how to live. You taught me how to be a friend. You give me so much in life. And this is not enough. It’s not enough that I can do. I just want you to be happy. Every year I am even more in love with you. And I want to spend every day of my life with you. Happy Birthday. And I thank God for you everyday.”

Don’t Resist

warnings: smut !, language, public teasing, car sex, unprotected sex 

summary: one with Tom where you have a praise kink and he knows it and teases you in public with it and then it turns into smut?

A/N: look at that fucking boy, he’s so soft but also a fucking daddy lmao bye. fucking sorry if the intro was boring but i promise its sin.

There you stood in front of the mirror adjusting your black halter strap dress that had its string wrapped around your neck, matching Tom’s black suit. The dress had revealed your bare back as it’s length dropped down at your knees while the front had revealed a V shape on your chest. You looked at the mirror closely examining any flaws from head to toe.

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🍯 Honey Varieties 🍯

A short list of honey varieties in case you want to experiment with your recipes. Some have herbal remedy hints, and pairing ideas.

Acacia :Very popular with a mild flavor. The color is usually light yellow, but can range to brown or purple. Goes well with toast or tea. Medicinally, it is used to calm anxiety or help sleep.

Avacado :A warm, dark brown honey that is excellent for recipes that call for brown sugar. It doesnt actually taste like avocados, but mollasses or burned sugar.

Blueberry :Medium amber color with a medium aroma, blueberry honey tastes slightly buttery, with toasted almonds. Great for fruit pastries, it’s usually not difficult to find this variety.

Buckwheat :Dark brown, with a strong, distinct flavor of mollasses. A staple in southern BBQ recipes or other meats. Also used for coughs and sore throats.

Chesnut :This honey is usually too strong for recipes. It is very dark, with a slightly pungent smell and sweet, almost musty taste. It’s quite unpopular, so it isn’t easy to find.

Clover :Very common, known as “table honey”, clover honey is a light, sweet honey that can be used universally.

Cranberry :Medium-red colored and fruity, it tastes like figs or dates. Use cranberry honey for fall fruit dishes.

Eucalptus :Suprisingly, eucalptus honey tastes sweet, with notes of rose petals. It smells strong, almost smokey, and is very dark in color. Goes well with meats or potatoes.

Forest :Also known as Honeydew honey, it is produced by aphid excretion from trees in the area, such as pine. It tastes woody and sweet, and pairs with just about anything.

Hawthorn :Hawthorn honey has a natural calming effect, so it’s usually stirred into chamomile tea. The flavor is strong so it doesnt take too much to sweeten.

Lavender :Ranging from bright to dark colors, the smell is intense just like the flowers. However one spoonful can help with seasonal allergies, and it’s a good source of calcium.

Mountain :Bees collect pollen from wild herbs and flowers in non-polluted mountain areas so the flavor and color can vary. Excellent for coughs and flu.

Orange Blossom :Light yellow with a mild floral smell, it is readily avalable in early spring when orange trees bloom. It has a sour citrus flavor, so it is best used in citrus recipes.

Rasberry :Rasberry honey is slightly bitter, but still tastes like brown sugar or toffee. It smells almost woodsy, and pairs well with fruits or especially coffee.

Sage :Sage honey tastes sweet with hints of rose petals. The color can be light yellow to purple, and it smells mildly floral. It also has a light violet aftertaste. It has so much body it is one of my favorites!

Sourwood :Slightly rare, it’s only available in June or July before its all bought up. It tastes a bit like cloves or nutmeg and smells like cinnamon.

Sunflower :As yellow as it’s petals and smells just as exceptional. It can crystallize easily, if that happens just heat up the jar in some hot water. It can help with sinus problems and allergies.

Tulip Poplar :Tulip Polar honey can be used for almost any dish. It is dark orange, and smells like cooked fruits. It tastes buttery like toffee and a bit like caramel.

Tupelo :Comes from the ogeechee tree in Florida and Georgia. It is slightly rare, and doesn’t crystalize easily. Tastes light buttery and sweet, use with vegetable or chicken recipes.

Peaches and Sunflowers

Originally posted by lightningstorminspace

Originally posted by cindyctw75

Summery: You’re Bones younger sibling, almost the exact opposite of him, and new aboard the Enterprise. You and Chekov are drawn to each other immediately. 

A/N: Did you know that sunflower seeds are a major part of Russia agricultural? Did you also know that Chekov is in fact my most precious sunflower child? 

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in the blood

presenting: the jily royal au no one asked for someone pls validate me i hate writing long fics

It starts at a party.

You’re dancing with your friends, beer in hand, hair held back with a headband, gold paint swiped down your temple, curling around your cheekbones.

Those damned cheekbones and that damned jawline. A bone structure carved from history. You are catastrophically beautiful.

Marlene waves at you; she tells me you’re old family friends. Your chin lifts, corners of your mouth lifting to reveal lines of perfect teeth. Her hands grabs mine and she’s weaving us through the crowds of hot bodies.

“Marls.” You say, pulling her into a hug and kissing her cheek. She screws up her face.

“Boundaries, Potter.”

You smirk at me. “She loves me really.” She scoffs but there is sunlight glinting in her smile.

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anonymous asked:

Supercat #28! Pretty please and thank you. ;)

28. How drunk was I?


Kara woke with a start, popping into a sitting position. The move prompted a deep pounding in her head. With a wince, Kara pressed her fingertips to her temples. Her mouth was dry and she felt groggy and disoriented.

Able to open her eyes long enough to gather that she was on Alex’s couch, Kara shut her lids again. With a groan, she collapsed back onto the sofa. Apparently her second time drinking the Aldebaran rum had gone worse than the first.

The sound of footsteps echoed loudly into the living room.

“How ya feeling?” Alex asked gently.

“Why are you yelling?” Kara mumbled.

Alex chuckled and came to sit carefully on the edge of the sofa. “Time to get up. It’s almost noon.”

“No,” Kara responded flatly.

She felt horrible. Every part of her body seemed heavy and she could swear that if she moved, she’d throw up.

“Are you sure,” Alex said, “because Cat Grant’s already called your cell three times this morning.”

Kara’s eyes shot open. Blurry recollections of Cat, wearing a worried expression, floated to her mind. I thought you said it was an emergency. Kara saw Cat’s soft smile before the memories faded.

From her place curled into a fetal position on the sofa, Kara shifted to look at her sister. “How drunk was I?”

“Well,” Alex began, clearly amused to be telling Kara the story, “you were pretty toasted, sis. You texted Cat around midnight.”

“What’d I text her?” Kara asked, anxious.

“You said there was an emergency and you texted her the address of the bar,” Alex answered, a tickled grin stuck on her face.

“And she came?” Kara didn’t trust the broken memories. Surely, Cat wouldn’t have dropped everything in the middle of the night simply Kara asked her to.

Alex nodded, her grin widening. “She did.”

Kara felt a brief moment of elation before remembering that there were missing pieces in her memory. She asked Alex a second time, “So, how drunk was I?”

“Drunk enough to kiss her.”

Kara’s face scrunched into a blend of disbelief, shock, and embarrassment. “Nooo,” she moaned, covering her face with her hands. “You can’t be serious.”

“Oh, I’m serious.” Alex was unable to contain the beaming smile. “You kissed her in front of everyone. Like, you really kissed her.”

“Oh, Roa,” Kara mumbled into her hands. She glanced at Alex. “What’d she do?”

Alex paused, schooling her open-mouthed smile back to an amused grin. “I think she liked it.”

At that, the discomfort of Kara’s hangover began to leave her. Her what-have-I-done expression was replaced with a glimmer of hope. “Really?”

“I mean, you definitely caught her off guard,” Alex answered. “But… yeah. And, like I said, she’s already called three times today.”

Snatching a pillow, Kara shifted and dropped her head into her sister’s lap dramatically. “Yeah, to fire me,” Kara said, muffled by the pillow. “For real this time.”

“Well, I guess you’ll be able to ask her about that yourself,” Alex said.

Kara popped back into a sitting position. “What?”

Her sister bit her bottom lip. “I may have-”

“May have what?” Kara snapped.

Alex breathed out and answered frantically, “I may have answered on the third call and given her my address.”

“What!” Kara’s eyes widened in panic. “Are you serious? Alex!”

Alex hastily tried to defend herself. “I’m sorry, I just, I mean, it’s so obvious that you have feelings for her, and seeing you two together last night, I think she might have feelings for you too.”

Kara stood from the couch a little too quickly, closing her eyes and catching herself as a wave of dizziness hit her. “No more rum,” she whispered.

Rushing to the restroom, Kara slashed some water on her face, rubbing her eyes. She brushed her teeth, cringing at the strong flavor of the toothpaste. Pulling her disheveled hair into the neatest ponytail she could manage, Kara raided Alex’s closet for a shirt to replace the wrinkled mess she had passed out in. Just then, a knock sounded at Alex’s door.

Kara came to stand in the frame of Alex’s bedroom door. She gave her sister an unsure glance, but Alex only smiled back reassuringly. Kara reluctantly came back into the living area as Alex answered the door.

“Ms. Grant, glad you found the place okay.” Kara could hear the amusement in her sister’s voice. “I don’t know if you remember me-”

“Alex,” Cat cut her off. “The sister. Nice to see you again.”

“Nice to see you, too.” Alex glanced back to Kara. “Looks like my sister has found her way back to the land of the living.”

“Oh, well she certainly seemed alive enough last night.”

Kara was squirming on the inside. She couldn’t see Cat’s face behind Alex’s shoulder, but she knew that tone. Cat wasn’t upset. She sounded… happy, casual even.

After a quiet snicker, Alex told her, “Come on in.”

Kara tried to keep her features neutral when Cat walked through the door and their eyes met. The smirk on Cat’s face made it difficult. She was so seductive without any effort. It drove Kara crazy.

As Cat drew near, all the scents that Kara had grown to love filled her senses. The deep fragrance of Cat’s perfume, the sweet scent of her shampoo, even the smell of her laundry detergent. Kara knew them all well. However, there was something else today. The familiar scent of pumpkin spice wafted up to Kara’s nose. She looked down and noticed the cup from Noonan’s in Cat’s hand. Cat had gotten her go-to again.

When they were standing almost toe to toe, Cat said a warm, “Hi.” Kara only pressed her lips together in response, attempting not to beam like a schoolgirl. “I thought you might need this.”

Cat held the cup up between them. Kara reached for it, wrapping her hand around the cup, and over Cat’s fingers. They stood there, holding one cup with two hands, gazes locked with mutual grins.

Finally, Kara managed a quiet, “Thank you,” before Cat released the drink.

They heard Alex clear her throat and it seemed to break the two women from their trance. “I’m just gonna go get a shower,” Alex said, quickly leaving Kara and Cat alone.

Kara hung her head, her initial embarrassment at her antics the night before returning. “Ms. Grant, I’m sorry about last night.”

Cat’s answer came without hesitation. “I’m not.”

Lifting her head again, Kara saw nothing but quiet affection on Cat’s face. Hope sprung in her heart. “You’re not?”

Slowly shaking her head, Cat stepped closer. “Not in the slightest. And I appreciate how you always try to be so respectful, but you really need to start calling me Cat.”

Kara nodded. She softly confirmed, “Cat.” With a dreamy sigh, Kara’s lips quirked in a little smile. “So what do we do now, Cat?”

Cat was confident and sure when she answered, “You could start by kissing me again.”

The small smile vanished from Kara’s face, replaced with surprise. She couldn’t believe it, Cat Grant standing in front of her, telling Kara to kiss her. She’d be a fool to let the opportunity slip by.

Bending her knees to put the cup on the coffee table, Kara lifted her hands to lightly touch Cat’s face. The second she made contact, everything from the night before came flooding back. She remembered sending the text, claiming an emergency to lure Cat to the bar. Alex had tapped her shoulder when Cat arrived, pointing out the woman’s presence. Kara had summoned all her drunk bravery, marched right up to Cat and slurred, “It’s time I show you how I really feel about you Catherine Jane Grant.” She’d put her hands on Cat’s face and kissed her with abandon. She remembered Cat tensing and then relaxing as she wrapped slender fingers around Kara’s wrists, holding her in place. Kara recalled how she’d pulled back, her confidence fracturing. Cat’s shocked silence made her turn on her heels and retreat to the bathroom. Cat was gone when she’d come back.

But this time, Kara had no intention of retreating. Fingers combing back into the softest hair she had ever touched, Kara leaned in and brought their lips together. Kara almost swooned when she felt Cat’s hands settle easily on her waist. It was a quiet kiss, delicate, and full of promise. Kara released Cat’s lips only to claim them again with a slight pressure. An involuntary flush spread through her as their bodies touched. It only took a moment for the two to fall into a smooth rhythm of tender and sweet kisses.

It was Cat who broke the gentle kisses, pulling away. She looked at Kara with that patented one-sided smile at Kara adored. Kara thought she might faint.

“There’s that Supergirl courage,” Cat whispered.

Stunned, Kara nonchalantly asked, “What do you mean?”

Leaning in again, Cat pressed a small kiss to Kara’s bottom lip. “You forgot to put your glasses on.”

Kara’s hands shot away from Cat’s face and up to her own. She had no idea where her glasses were, but they certainly weren’t on her face. She stared at Cat, dumbfounded. “I… uh…”

Cat stepped back from Kara’s proximity, smirking. Turning and making her way back to the door, Cat said over her shoulder, “Pick me up at seven o’clock sharp.”

“I’m sorry?”

“You’re taking me out tonight,” Cat replied, matter of factly. “Don’t be late.”

Kara watched her walk out the door. The second the latch clicked, Kara snapped, “Alex!”

She didn’t know what to shout at her sister about first, why Alex hadn’t reminded her to get her glasses or where she should take Cat that night on their first date. Maybe Aldebaran rum wasn’t so bad after all.

Don’t Say It - One

summary: you and steve are roommates and have been all throughout college. he’s constantly bringing home dates and watching them leave the next morning, and he’s perfectly content with it. you only ever planned on being friends, but sometimes, things don’t go as planned.

warnings: mentions of sex, swearing

word count: 1,165

masterlist | read on ao3

Originally posted by officerrfriendlyy

“Another date tonight?” You asked as Steve stepped out of his bedroom, dressed a hell of a lot nicer than his usual jeans and a t-shirt. He ran his fingers through his hair, shooting you a smile as he slipped his shoes on, grabbing his jacket, which was thrown over the back of the couch.

“Yep. But I don’t expect it to go anywhere.” He admitted, his smile still preset.

“Then why are you wasting your time?”

“…She’s hot.”

“You’re a pig.”

“Maybe so.” He chuckled, pulling open your creaky apartment door before happily stepping out.

He’d been on eight dates with eight different women so far that month, and he never expected any of them to get further than the bedroom. You kept telling him that it was pointless, that he should actually try to make it work with one of the many women he’d gone through. He said he did. You had to explain to him that meaningless, one-time sex was most certainly not “making it work”. And that’s usually when he started ignoring you.

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Long Distance (Chapter Seven)

So! So this chapter was originally over 5000 words and I split it in half. There is a really good conversation in here about how the relationship between the three of them will work, and I didn’t want that lost in the cuteness/sexy times of the last half. Polyamory is something I think is very misunderstood, and I wanted to make sure not to skip over it or make it seem like this was a “threesome” fic because it’s not, it’s about these three guys finding love together.

Anyway, enough of the PSA. Our boys meet up and it’s adorable. Also we learn how Stucky hooked up. So cute. Can’t wait to hear what you guys think.


Enjoy :)

Tony smoothed the wrinkles out of his shirt nervously, staring at himself in the mirror. Pepper had insisted on the dark red shirt, saying it looked the best on him, and even he knew his ass looked amazing in these particular pants.

He was killing time, waiting for a text from the guys saying that they had arrived at the hotel.

They had opted to meet at a Four Seasons about halfway between Boston and Manhattan, not wanting to be anywhere crowded, trying to keep it nice and simple. Tony had paid for the reservation- two adjoining rooms. Partly because he didn’t want Bucky and Steve worrying about the money, partly because he was worried they would just book one room and he didn’t really know if he was ready for that.

Tony had driven, taking one of his cars out for the couple hour trip up the freeway, but he knew Bucky and Steve hadn’t been able to leave until after Steve’s last class, so they wouldn’t be in until closer to seven.

It was seven thirty now, and Tony waited nervously for his phone to ring. They were supposed to have dinner at the hotel restaurant, maybe drinks out at the outdoor bar that overlooked the golf course and resort pools. And if everything went well… well. Tony couldn’t think that far ahead.

If he was being honest, meeting the two of them was making him so nervous he was nearly sick to his stomach. It was nerve wracking enough thinking about meeting Steve, who he had been talking to longer than Bucky, but to meet both of them, to see them together….

Yeah, these last few weeks of video chats and group texting had been fun and flirty and yeah, he was into both of them but…but…

Tony’s phone trilled and he lost his train of thought, opening it quickly.

{Group Text}

From Steve– we are running late, just barely got checked in. Let’s just meet in the restaurant, Bucky and I can find our room later.

From Bucky– Steve’s being nice. I’m starving so get your perfect ass down here so we can eat

From Tony– see you guys in a minute.

Tony took a deep breath and looked in the mirror one more time before heading out.

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no one else

the morning after a few too many drinks, you discover you called someone you haven’t spoken to in months, someone harry’s not too happy you contacted.

i always feel really uncomfy writing smut its just not my thing but i’m trying for you guys lmao

that said, warning: smut.


let me know what you think

There was a soft knock at my apartment door and my friend Julia kicked me in bed, “Get the door,” She muttered, “Pro'ly your boyfriend.”

I took my time getting out of bed and Harry knocked again. I swung the door open and barely looked at him before climbing back into bed.

"Hey,” Harry said, scanning the room full of scattered alcohol bottles all at various stages of emptiness, “Heard you had a rough night.”

“Don’t talk so loud.” I said and pulled the covers over my head. I felt the bed shift as he sat down and rubbed a hand down my back. I sighed and pulled the covers down so I could see him and he was smiling slightly at me, a bit of sympathy in his eyes. “Can you hold me for a bit?”

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emmafromthatonenight - A CS AU

7,500 words of what happened after Killian and Emma met at a bar one night, and then when she contacted him via instagram 10 months later. I know that many amazing, wonderful, lovely readers do not care for CS baby fics. So this is a warning- this fic is not for you. 

The bar was exactly what he needed tonight. Dark. Dingy. Someplace no one would ever expect to find Killian Jones. He’d been invited to many parties, all at trendy places a few miles to the west in hipper areas of Boston, but tonight he just wanted to drink around real people with real lives and real problems. Not people whose sole purpose in talking to him was to see what he could do for them. To see if any of that “Killian Jones” magic could transform their lives. It couldn’t. He couldn’t help anyone.

He’d turned his sorrow and skill with a guitar into a successful career, but that was it. It has brought him no happiness, and he had nothing to share with anyone else.

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French Toast and Families

Characters: Logan, Patton, Roman, Virgil

Pairings: Prinxiety (can be read as platonic) and Logicality (can also be read as platonic, idk there might be others but that’s the only subtext I intentionally put in

Word Count: 1710

Summary: A few weeks after the ‘Fitting In’ video. Virgil is becoming more comfortable with his identity as part of the group, but still has some lingering doubts. Lots of fluff.

Warnings: negative self-talk, angst; I think that’s it, but please correct me if i’m wrong

A/N: This is my first fic, so feedback would be appreciated. I’m sorry for any typos or ooc behavior. So anyway, here goes… (I am afraid.)

     Virgil awoke to the noise of the other sides clattering in the kitchen. “Oh crap I overslept I was supposed to help with breakfast and- Hey. It’s okay. Deep breaths.” As he practiced his usual 7-4-8 rhythm he focused on the sounds of the others from down below his room. It had been a few weeks since that whole Harry Potter incident, and he was still trying to get used to the idea that Thomas, Patton, Logan, and Roman all needed- no, wanted him around, that he belonged with them, that they were his friends, his- family. The word tasted so sweet and strange on his tongue, almost too beautiful to be real. More often than not he woke up convinced it was all a dream.
    “Speaking of waking up, I should get downstairs before they somehow manage to burn down the mind palace…” He quickly changed into his new attire and went downstairs.  

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Set Up- Jughead Imagine (Riverdale)

A/N: This is my first Riverdale imagine!! I hope you enjoy and please leave feedback or a request of your own!

Requested by anoymous:  I wanted to request a riverdale imagine. Could it be something like your Betty’s sibling and jughead has liked you for a while so Betty and Archie set you two up?

Word count:1013

Warnings: N/A

Sat in a booth at Pop’s you sighed in frustration as the chemistry stared back at you, unanswered. Looking up to the ceiling for inspiration, you failed to notice the raven haired boy sliding into the booth opposite you.

“I’m not sure if praying for the answers is really your best bet” Jughead said with a small smirk

“Its chemistry” You told him rolling your eyes at the thought of the work in front of you

“Well in that case praying probably is your best bet” He replied his smirk growing even bigger as you smiled

“So” You began “Is there a particular reason that the Jughead Jones has decided to grace me with his presence?” You asked whilst taking a sip from your milkshake

“Oh I dunno I just thought maybe you could use some distraction from your chemistry” He mused whilst opening his laptop

“Trying to make me fail I see” You smirked with a raised eyebrow

“Wouldn’t dream of it” He smirked back

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Lenasdayoff part 9

1 / 2 / 3 / 4 / 5 / 6 / 7 / 8 / 9 / 10

Past Lena was a dick.  That was all she could say right now.  The early morning sun was blasting through the opened curtains that she’d been far too preoccupied to close the night before.  She growled, burying her face in Kara’s hair in an attempt to ward off her hangover.  

Kara let out a soft whine, dragging Lena in close.  “Stop moving.”

 “Don’t tell me what to do Danvers…”

Lena watched one of Kara’s blue eyes open and fixate on her, “If you know what’s good for you, you’ll revoke that.”

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One Wish, One Night- An Ivar Imagine

So our lovely sister wife @splendor-e sent me the following prompt:

Ok, so there goes the prompt! In the celebrations in England (we will pretend that nothing happened with Sigurd), the shieldmaidens proposes a small competition between them. Each would choose one of Ragnar’s sons to represent, as well as the Kings and Earls. They must approve that they represent them, because if they win the competition, they win a wish that cant be denied. There will be three modes: archery, sword fighting and target shooting with the ax. (1) there’s more. Only those who win two of them win the wish. What happens? *—-*~

I tweaked it a little bit, but I hope you still like it dear! It was fun to write, thanks for sending it to me!

TW: very very mild sexual content


Of course it was Ingrid who suggested the competition. The girl was calculated and cunning and always looking to improve her status in the eyes of their leaders. She had called out her idea during a lull in the post battle celebrations, as they were all drinking and toasting to their victory against the Saxons.

“Let us shieldmadiens have a competition, to celebrate,” she had said. “Each one of us chooses one of our leaders to represent. Then we compete against each other in a battle of skills. The last two women standing are allowed to ask a wish that must be granted from the man they have chosen. What say you, my princes?”

The Ragnarssons had all welcomed the idea enthusiastically, as well as King Harald Finehair. The maidens who wished to compete began assembling themselves. You shrugged and decided to join them. You had become bored with the feasting and were looking for a little more excitement.

In the end, six of you stood ready, one for each leader. Ingrid, being the one who came up with the idea, got to choose first.

“I will represent Bjorn Ironside,” she said, and Bjorn raised his drinking horn in acknowledgment.

“I will represent King Harald Finehair,” said a tall blonde woman whose name you did not know. She must be a shieldmaiden from his own forces, you thought, as the King nodded at her with a grin.

You were next in line. You looked at the remaining four choices, and your dark eyes were immediately drawn to the youngest Ragnarsson. You had always found him very handsome, but had never spoken to him. You were the daughter of a fisherman and very much below his rank. You longed to run your fingers through that thick, glorious hair, to know what those lovely scowling lips would feel like against your own. His blue eyes were mesmerizing, and you wanted to cut your tongue on the sharp angle of his jaw so badly you could sometimes taste the coppery tang of his luscious, Viking blood.

Not only was he good looking, he was also the smartest and most cunning of all his brothers. He had drawn up the very plans that had helped win the recent battle. You were very, very attracted to him and not being able to do anything about it was very frustrating.

But as the crowd waited for your choice, you suddenly knew this was your chance to change all that. If you won, your wish had to be granted. And you knew exactly what you wanted to wish for.

“I will represent Ivar the Boneless,” you said, and you saw his eyebrows shoot up. But he said nothing, just nodded at you in acceptance. You smiled to yourself, and ran a hand over the fine sword on your belt. It was time to get to work.

Once the other maidens had picked their men, the competition began. It was divided into three parts: archery, sword fighting, and axe throwing. You were pretty good in all of those areas, so you felt confident you would be able to be one of the final two.

Archery was first. You did very well in it, you scored the second highest score out of all six. You caught a glimpse of Ivar’s face after the scores had been announced; he looked mildly impressed. You noticed he sat up straighter in his chair and leaned forward, as if to examine you more closely. You felt heat creep up your neck, but faced his gaze with a haughty one of your own. His lips quirked up in the barest of smiles, and from that moment on his eyes never left you.

Of course, that made it extremely difficult to concentrate during the next two rounds. You could feel the burning of his blue eyes into your skin, watching your every move closely. You had to suppress many a shiver that threatened to dance along your spine. He was finally noticing you, and it was scary and thrilling all at the same time.

Despite the distraction, you also did well in both the sword fighting and the axe throwing. You were pretty sure you were one of the top two shieldmaidens, but until the scores were calculated you wouldn’t know. While your friend Brunhild and another shieldmaiden added everything up, you chanced another glance at Ivar. You had to bite your lip to keep from gasping. Apparently your performance on the field had intrigued him greatly, as he was now giving you an extremely appraising look, and judging by his flared nostrils and wide eyes, he definitely liked what he saw. Oh yes, the youngest Ragnarsson was aroused by your work with weapons. You felt the hot molten heat of desire stir in your belly.

“We have our two champions,” Brunhild annouced. You couldn’t help but send a quick prayer up to the gods. Please let her say your name, please let her say your name!

“Ingrid and Y/N, representing Bjorn Itonside and Ivar the Boneless respectively!”

You let out the breath you hadn’t known you were holding. Ingrid came over and patted you on the back, beaming. But your eyes were on the blue eyed prince, who was now wearing a troubled frown. You wondered if he was wondering what you would ask of him. He probably thinks I’ll ask for land or money, you thought. Little does he know….

“What is your wish, Ingrid Torstiensdottir?” Bjorn addressed your comrade.

“Land and a title in this new world we have conquered,” Ingrid said without hesitation, and you had to admire her nerve. That was an awful lot to ask. But the wish had to be fulfilled, so Bjorn raised his horn of mead in salute. “Done.”

“And what of you, shieldmaiden?” Ivar called out to you, and your heart sank a little at the fact that he didn’t even know your name. But you forced yourself not to look disappointed, and took a deep breath. Well, you thought, here goes nothing.

“I wish to spend one night with you, my prince.”

Ivar’s eyes widened in surprise. A deadly silent hush followed your words as everyone present stared directly at you. The other Ragnarssons mouths had dropped in shock.

“You what?” Ivar sounded like he had been hit over the head with something.

You ignored the butterflies fluttering nervously in your belly. “I said I wish to spend one night with you, Ivar the Boneless. Honour my wish, or are you not a man of your word?”

They were bold words, and risky. But they appeared to be the right ones, as Ivar’s lovely blue eyes darkened, and the tip of his tongue poked out to wet his bottom lip. Your whole body tingled at the sight.

“I am a man of my word,” he said, his voice dripping confident and sin. “I shall see you in my room at sundown, shieldmaiden.”

Your legs felt weak, your heartbeat raced like a Valkyrie rushing back to Valhalla. You were finally going to get what you had wanted for so long now.

Hours later, when your hands were finally buried in that glorious hair and your body felt like it was on fire, the thought came to you.

“Orin’s beard,” you cursed with a gasp, “I should have wished for more than one night.”

Ivar looked up at you from between your shaking thighs, were he had buried his face what seemed like ages ago (to your intense satisfaction and delight). He grinned wickedly at you, teeth shining in the low candlelight.

“I think I can be persuaded to change the conditions of your request,” he said, voice heavy with lust. “If you are a good girl and do exactly what I tell you all night. Can you do that, Y/N?”

You nodded feverishly, squirming as his hands squeezes your thighs. “I can do or be whatever you damn well please, Ivar.”

His grin turned positively animalistic. “Good. Now shut up and let me continue enjoying you. Battle leaves a man with a hearty appetite, you know.”

You smiled to yourself as he settled himself back to work. You could have wished for anything else-land, money, the best pick of the plunder-but you are exceedingly glad you didn’t. One wish, one night, hopefully turned into many.

And one very, very satisfied shieldmaiden.

Have a good day or night, sister wives!!❤️❤️


One thousand nights ago, you might have been listening to Taylor Swift’s 1989 for the first time. You might have blasting “Blank Space,” learning how to sing along to “Style” and gearing up to dance along to “Shake It Off” on the inevitable 1989 tour. October 27, 2014 seems like a long time ago now — as of Sunday (July 23), it was 1000 days ago — and since the release of Swift’s fifth album, the pop superstar has stayed extremely busy.

Could we talk about her charity work, the Kanye West-Kim Kardashian West drama, the AT&T deal, the Tom Hiddleston? Of course. But let’s focus, as Taylor often does herself, on the music. As fans await Taylor Swift’s post-1989 full-length follow-up, let’s review the songs that she’s given us (or performed, or co-signed) since her last opus.


By the end of 2016, it had become clear that Taylor Swift was not going to continue her streak of releasing a full-length album every other year, as she had done from 2006 up to 1989 in 2014. Yet three weeks before the end of last year, Swift returned with her first post-1989 song: “I Don’t Wanna Live Forever,” a duet with Zayn that was part of the Fifty Shades Darker original soundtrack. Produced by Taylor’s pal Jack Antonoff and following in the success of Fifty Shades soundtrack songs like The Weeknd’s “Earned It” and Ellie Goulding’s “Love Me Like You Do,” “Forever” became Swift’s second soundtrack hit (following “Safe and Sound” from The Hunger Games) and peaked at No. 2 on the Billboard Hot 100 chart. The song’s video, released last January, has a whopping 361 million YouTube views.

Swift has also spent the downtime between albums to collect a few songwriting credits: “Better Man,” Little Big Town’s latest country hit, was written by Swift… although it wasn’t revealed that the pop superstar had penned it until a few weeks after its October 2016 release. “Better Man” topped the Hot Country Songs chart, and has been performed by Swift exactly once (more on that later).

Meanwhile, Swift also sneakily co-wrote “This Is What You Came For,” Calvin Harris’ hit from last year featuring Rihanna, under the pseudonym “Nils Sjöberg.” She was eventually outed as having a hand in her ex’s Top 10 smash, and the song’s official credits now include Swift’s name. She has performed it exactly twice (more on that later).

Aside from those three songs, the big music news of Swift’s post-1989 run has been where her previous output has been available. After famously locking herself in a stalemate against Spotify and agreeing to have only Apple Music serve as her streaming host, Swift unleashed her catalog upon all streaming services — Spotify, Tidal and Amazon included — on June 9, 2017, the same day that Katy Perry just so happened to release her new album, Witness. Four of Swift’s albums, including 1989, returned to the Billboard 200 albums chart following the streaming free-for-all.


The entirety of the 1989 world tour was contained in 2015, and the 85 shows became that year’s biggest tour, taking in more than $200 million worldwide, per Billboard Boxscore. The big difference between 1989 and Swift’s previous tours, of course, was that she graduated to stadiums from arenas on her latest live run, and she’ll likely continue in that format whenever she goes back on the road. The tour was also captured in The 1989 World Tour Live, a concert film shot in Sydney and released in partnership with Apple Music in December 2015.


Ten months after her 1989 tour wrapped up, Swift decided to put on a one-off show last October at the Formula 1 U.S. Grand Prix in Austin – her only performance of 2016, and the first time she played “This Is What You Came For” herself (in a solo piano version, no less!). “As a songwriter, the most rewarding feeling in the world is writing something and then having the crowd sing it back to you because they know the words,” Swift said during the show.

Swift played the track again at a pre-Super Bowl performance in Houston earlier this year, in an event dubbed the AT&T Presents DIRECTV NOW Super Saturday Night. She also played “Better Man” and “This Is What You Came For” at the show, which has been Swift’s only performance of 2017… so far.


By now, we’ve all seen the seven music videos that came from the 1989 era. Some fun stats about them: the three biggest videos (“Shake It Off,” “Blank Space” and “Bad Blood”) have become Swift’s first to cross the 1 billion mark on YouTube, while the controversial “Wildest Dreams” clip is one of Swift’s five most-viewed videos ever at this point (“You Belong With Me,” from Fearless, rounds out that top tier). The live video for “New Romantics” was unveiled as an Apple Music exclusive, and has 66 million YouTube views to date. Joseph Kahn directed four of the videos, including “Out of the Woods,” which was filmed in New Zealand.


Essentially, Swift released 1989 in October 2014 and the accolades started pouring in almost immediately after. She was named Billboard’s Woman of the Year in 2014, and “Shake It Off” was nominated for record of the year and song of the year at the 2015 Grammys. The song didn’t take home either prize, but Swift nabbed the big one the following year, when 1989 won album of the year at the Grammys in 2016. After previously winning the award for Fearless, Swift became the first female solo performer to win multiple AOTYs at the Grammys.

The Grammy win (along with two others in 2016) was simply the crown jewel in a long list of major achievements in the past 1000 days. Swift also won Video of the Year at the MTV VMAs in 2015 for “Bad Blood,” was given the 50th Anniversary Milestone Award at the ACM Awards that year, and 1989 became only the fifth album ever to spend its entire first year in the top 10 of the Billboard 200 chart. All told, 1989 has sold 6.1 million copies one thousand days into its existence, according to Nielsen Music, and in June, the RIAA certified Swift for having moved 100 million song units, second only to Rihanna among all artists in their rankings.


It’s worth noting that, while never commercially released, the sound of Swift rapping along to Drake and Future’s “Jumpman” does exist in this fair world. In a popular Apple Music ad, Swift rhymes along with the song on a treadmill before face-planting in epic fashion; she also toasted Jimmy Eat World’s “The Middle” and The Darkness’ “I Believe In A Thing Called Love” in separate Apple ads. Consider the homages a subtle co-sign of not just the songs in question, but of Apple’s playlist curation.


The cornerstone of Swift’s post-1989 music activity may very well be the role of “hypewoman” — that is, building up her pals and supporting their music online. She’s got mad love for squad members Lorde, Haim and Selena Gomez, and former tour mate Ed Sheeran’s “Shape of You” might have very well gotten a mini-bump due to an Instagram post in its favor. The biggest revelation for casual Swifies: Taylor’s still an enormous Kings of Leon fan! “I’ve been waiting for this album for SO LONG and it’s insane, you need it in your life,” she wrote of the rock band’s WALLS. Same with the 1989 follow-up, Taylor.

(Additional reporting by Sabrina Finkelstein)

Headcanons - Kissing Inquisition Members (friendship):

-Dorian arches his eyebrow and grins “Well, that was unexpected. You know, in Tevinter we prefer shooting spells, as a sign of affection. But I think your method is not so bad.” and he kisses you back, your laughters echoing in all the rotunda.

- Varric is surprised and not a little, by the quick peck on his cheek during a Wicked Grace match “Your Inquisitorialness, your cards must be very bad if you have to use your charm!”. But he smiles, not a grin a proper smile, and shakes his head, patting on your arm “Your turn.”.

- Cassandra blushes “That was…?Well, I suppose I should thank you.”. She clears her throat, shifting a little, but then she smiles “You’re really an unusual person, I’m glad I can call you my friend.

- Vivienne looks at you, sternly “And what was that, my dear?”. She sighs, shooing you away with a delicate movement of her hand, and she sits again on her sofa, a heavy volume already open, the only witness of the sincere smile which blooms on her face.

- The Iron Bull roars a laughter and puts his arm on your shoulders, giving you at the same time a huge cup of… something, and squeezing you almost painfully “Well ,thank you, boss! Here, have a toast with us!”. He grinns at you and  drags you with him in the centre of the tavern.

- Sera freaks out loudly, at the beginning “Oy, you, what was that?”. She grumbles about strange people who do even stranger things, and she threatens you lightly, before admitting that maybe that wasn’t so bad, after all. 

- Cole is surprised, he asks and answers alone “Why?…I see, a fixed point in the middle of the crowd, unseen yet essential, so young despite everything. People sometimes don’t remember, but you wanted to say thank you.”.  A brief pause, looking at the  Inquisitor from under his hat, with something very close to a smile “You’re welcome.”.

- Blackwall grunts something that could be a laugh or a surprised curse, but when you look at him he laughs openly “Didn’t the beard sting you? Well, then, thank you, it was a nice thing.”. He smiles again, shaking fondly his head and murmuring something to himself.

- Solas looks at the Inquisitor, touching his cheek with painted fingers and leaving a green track on his too thin skin “I suppose I should thank you?”. He seems uncertain, even if not displeased, almost if he couldn’t remind the last time someone showed him such a simple and spontaneous affection.

- Cullen seems shocked and for a moment you fear to have dared too much, but he blushes and smiles, rubbing his neck “Uh, thank you, Inquisitor. That was… very kind.”. He smiles again, his shoulders a little more relaxed and his frown gone, leaving behind a soft happiness.

- Josephine giggles openly, touching her cheek “Inquisitor, this is entirely inappropriate!”. But her bright smile betrays the pretended outrage to the etiquette and she asks you if you have time for a cup of coffee. When the beverage arrives, she’s still smiling.

- Leliana steps back, puckered “Inquisitor?”, her voice a strange mix of puzzlement and coldness. But after a moment, a little smile appears and she bows slightly, a silent thanks, her eyes brighter and she looks at you with more tenderness.