A Stupid Way to come up with Original Characters and Stories (That Somehow Works)
Find a character from a work you admire. Any media will do, but Children’s media works the best.
Ask yourself a few questions about the character in question. I don’t have a complete list, and the questions are likely going to vary, and most of this is coming off the top of my head, but yeah, here are a few suggestions.
Was there anything about this character that ticked you off? Maybe this character did something that you thought was ooc? Or maybe this character is too perfect and could use a few more flaws.
Does the medium or genre prevent the character from performing certain actions? Furthermore, do certain aspects of the characters life, including sex, gender, social status, and age prevent this character from acting in a certain way?
Is there something you want to see the character do that you know will never happen in the show?
And finally, is there anything you want to change about this character?
Rant to yourself or to tumblr about everything the show apparently did wrong. Constantly switch between getting mad at yourself for nitpicking a show you love and being mad at the work itself for not being 100% perfect.
Scream into a pillow, make yourself some hot cocoa, eat a full dinner, and then take a hot shower.
Get out a sketchpad or a word document or anything else you use to brainstorm and start drawing and or writing about the character in the show. But write the character the way you think they should be, as opposed to the way their presented in canon.
Take into account that changing some aspects of your character will effect the story in some pretty big ways, especially if what you changed is an action the character performed. Maybe that Magical Princess ran away at a young age under the stress of becoming queen before joining a gang and ultimately becoming a crime boss? Maybe that Alien supervillain can be reformed by showing them the good things about the planet Earth. When you change an aspect of a story, justify the change by having it affect every other aspect of the story. Whatever you do, though, don’t handwave the change. Instead embrace it… those changes are where the heart of your story lies.
Don’t be afraid to add in elements from other works of fiction other than the one you’ve chosen. Most of the plot elements of Gravity falls and Rick and Morty, for example, are just similar enough to make a meeting between Ford Pines and Rick Sanchez possible.
Look over your work and note just how far you’ve drifted from canon. If you’ve changed the idea enough, it should feel kinda alien to the original work. If it’s too similar, then if might be a good idea to repeat the previous steps.
Some of the things to note include tone, genre, level of obscenity, and target demographic. Considering how fanworks typically go, we almost unconsciously make dark shows light and fluffy and light and fluffy shows dark and gritty. This can be a good thing when done right.
The humour of the work will also depends on the type of humour you feel comfortable writing. Sometimes your humour will be almost exactly like the original work, and sometimes it’ll be drastically different. Aim for the latter.
If you added in elements from another work of fiction, then certain patterns are inevitably going to be formed. using the Rick and Morty/ Gravity Falls fandom above, one can’t help but make Ford and Rick foils of each other; two interdimensional science dorks, but one has a stronger sense of morality. The character reactions between the two of them is dripping with potential that we’ll never see in canon, because these two shows air on different networks and are aimed at different target demographics.
If necessary, repeat the process again, but this time apply this to your version of the character. Continue until your happy with what you have.
Finally, rename the characters, and if you’re an artist, re-draw them as well. The new names and designs should reflect the character you wrote, not the character you were inspired by.
And bam, you just made something original.
Now obviously, this isn’t the only way to make characters or write stories… artists tend to draw from real life just as often as they reference other works of fiction. But the great thing about this process is that it depends entirely on your own personal interpretation of not only the work of fiction in question, but also of how the world around you works. I believe that we, as humans, are natural complainers and nitpickers, constantly believing ourselves to be the sole authority on how the world should work. On one hand, it might be easy to just rant about it and call it a day, but I believe these rants hold quite a lot of creative potential. Writing isn’t about coming up with something wholly new and original… story telling is pretty much limited to the human experience, and we’ll always fall back on something familiar (note the tropeless tale)… instead, its about writing about the familiar in a new way.
Before I get into this: I don’t have any issues with cursing, but I am seeing people jump into them quickly, and even casting them against each other on here so I’m going to explain some shit that people need to know if this is what they want to do.
Before the Three-fold law was brought to the forefront because of Wicca, there were a few commonplace ‘rules’ many, many witches followed, one of which was: To never use your power on a another witch.
This was not because of morals.
This was because there are ways of sending things back to the caster. A witch attacking another witch never ended well for either party (or their loved ones, really, because nothing ever just effects one person), it was essentially declaring a never ending war, because yeah you may have thrown up some protections, but all that has to be done is a reversal spell more potent than whatever protection you gave yourself. Rinse and repeat until one party gives up.
That being said, here’s two reversal spells I have in my book of mirrors. I have adapted them and combined other published spells to make these, so if you happen to have the same books as me some parts may be familiar.
I have tested these.
Hex & Curse Reversal Candle
Get a new candle, you’ll want it to be large. The longer the candle burns the more powerful the spell.
Turn it upside down. Carve off the bottom until the wick is exposed and can be lit.
If necessary, slice the top so it can stand flat on it’s top, upside down.
Dress the candle in any oils or herbs you find appropriate to help you with this. Meditating on it can help if need be. Different curses/hexes are better stopped by different things, so if something feels right, use it. Just make sure it’s safe.
Light the wick, while chanting “Let this evil done against me reverse itself, as I have reversed you.”
Meditate and focus your intent while the candle burns. Do it until you feel it is enough. Let the candle burn out. If you stop meditating on it and feel like you should a few hours later while the candle is still burning, do it. When the candle burns out, the reversal is complete.
Hex & Curse Reversal Spell
Gather 6 blackthorns, or pine needles.
Create a wax (or clay, if burying) image. It does not have to be specific, it can be a generic human figure. If this is a curse or hex, this spell will be able to trace where it came from.
Stick a thorn/needle through each hand, while saying “The evil you have crafted returns to you.”
Stick a needle/thorn through each foot, while saying “The evil you visit upon me returns to you”
Stick a needle/thorn through the mouth, while saying “The evil you spoke returns to you”
Stick a thorn through the forehead “The evil that you think and create returns to you.”
summary: you never thought that yuta, of all people, would be willing to help you with your salient project. though, one study session turned into two, three, and that was enough for you to get down on your knees, ready to thank him in a special way
❀ note: A sarcastic, submissive nerd yuta is such a concept ftw, enjoy~ ^~^
University had always been stressful.
Students would bustle to and fro from classes to dense libraries, or even coop themselves up in the claustrophobic comfort of their dorm room to crank in some study time. Free days were rare; you would infrequently see other students lounging for hours on end around campus. The only true breaks present would be lunch or last minute plans created after what felt like eons of being studious.
Or perhaps that was just your institute.
Prestigious as it was, that was the life behind the scene of your school. Studying appeared to be the only facet that everyone knew—that each student shared. And since it was crunch week for one of your classes, everything was amplified. There was a grand project that was assigned at the second week of class, and it would take part in a substantial amount of one’s grade. It was an individual project of a plethora of research and proper essays down to the core. There were the students at your school who had started the second they were made aware of the paramount project, and then there was people like you—the certain ones that believed procrastinating was the better option.
So there you were, situated at your desk during class with your jaw dropped to the floor. It was not hanging open from the lack of understanding towards your professor’s words, but because moments ago he said, nonchalant at best, “The project is due a week from today—it wouldn’t fit in with our class schedule if I made it due any later. I’m assuming you all started and some even finished.”
You wanted to clout yourself; how could you had been so off guard? Of course he was going to pull that move—he did it with the other large assignments, but what made you believe otherwise? Your eyes scanned the perimeter to catch the aghast expressions of your surrounding classmates, but each one of them appeared calm and collected—like this was a card they were well aware that the professor was going to play.
You sighed and dug your face into your palms, allowing the weight of the world to sink down on your shoulders. “You’re kidding me,” you mumbled.
And so for the rest of the lecture you were drowning in stress, unable to pay attention to your professor’s informative words until the end.
The second the professor dismissed the class you bolted out of the room and started to rush to the library—then, you became like every other student at your campus. You entered the library hastily like a veritable tornado, sending several loose papers that rested on the surface of the front desk flying like baby birds. Stress was igniting the flame within you, fueling your being to get lost in the labyrinthine of a library and search for every single book in regards to your chosen topic that would aid your project. It took a while of a desperate search, but you finally found the treasure that was the informative tome.
Now, all you had to do was find an empty place to study. Amidst the quietude your angry steps was the only sound that was audible to each person; it boomed throughout the sections you were in and traveled along your side like a penumbra. Your bag was hiked over your shoulder, arms full with notebooks and the books, and you grew tired with every step. You started to trudge after the excursion for information and, like you had seen an oasis in the middle of a parched desert, you found an open seat. You kicked up your pace and bolted for the vacancy; soon, you reached it and occupied the area with your belongings.
The frantic rustles of papers and slams of notebooks over one another caught the student’s, who was situated next to you, attention. He lifted his nose from his book at batted his lashes your way, scrutinizing you with curious eyes. You were too caught up in organizing your belongings to notice the belittling way he was gawking at you; it was not until he cleared his throat for you to come down from your clouds of thought.
“Yes?” you asked him.
The boy looked at you, his expression niche. “Is all that for Professor Sung’s psychology class?”
You blinked twice and tilted your head, wondering how he knew the reason behind your scamper. “Um,” you looked at your open notebooks and took a pen in hand, “yes, why?”
The boy nodded and turned to the next page of the novel he was reading. “It’s an easy project,” he told you. “It will only take a good three days to finish, to be honest.”
You rolled your eyes and took notice of his study area. His notebooks were closed and in a superlative condition, each stacked perfectly upon one another. He was reading a new novel from the fiction section; a sore stand out compared to the other students who were at the library to study, or catch up on the work they pushed off like you.
“How would you know?” you asked him with a sigh. “He assigned this at the beginning of the class, there’s no way. And are you even in his class?”
The boy licked his lips and hesitated. He raised an eyebrow at you, tossing out a look of disbelief.
“What?” you asked again.
“I am in your class, (y/n),” he told you straightforwardly.
“What?!” you repeated, that time with more surprise. There was more raw shock in your tone than interest, and you attempted to recall every detail in your psychology class. You thought you knew everyone’s face in the lecture room, but apparently not. “Are you serious?”
“Yes,” he responded, a little irked by your ignorance, “I’m Nakamoto Yuta.”
A/N: Happy Angst Appreciation Day round three, it’s a day late, but life happens. Reader is Dean’s 17 year old daughter who has a twin brother named Robby.
Dean x Daughter!Reader Sam x Sister!Reader
You stood at the counter of the diner trying to decide if you should go back to the booth where your father, uncle, and twin brother sat, or if you’d have a better time alone at the counter. You’d gone up to ask for more napkins to clean up a spill that Robby, your twin had made. However glancing back you saw that they had waved down the waitress who your dad and brother were both flirting with.
With the roll of your eyes you took a seat at the counter; knowing you’d actually enjoy your meal if you weren’t near your father or brother.
You loved them both dearly and at one point your entire family was so close knit that your absence would have been noticed right away. However as you grew older the bond you shared with your twin and father began to disappear and once you started going on hunts with your dad and uncle, it all but vanished.
At first you told yourself that you were overreacting; that your father was just constantly worried about you, but as time went on you saw how close Robby and your dad still were, yet you remained on the outside.
It was something that your dad and brother both seemed oblivious to. Whenever you’d try to involve yourself in what they were doing they would send you away with some excuse as to why you couldn’t participate with them and soon you just stopped asking.
This never seemed to effect them, but it sure effected you.
Your father and Robby might not have seen what they were doing, but your Uncle Sam sure did. At first he tried to stick up for you, pointing out to Dean all the times it seemed that Robby and him would purposefully leave you out. Dean would deny it and after countless arguments with no change Sam stopped trying. Instead he became the figure in your life you so desperately wanted.
Still, there were times that Sam got sucked into whatever fun Robby and your dad were having; leaving you to be the outsider in your family again.
It was a role you learned to accept and gave up hope that it’d change.
request: Carl x reader where they hate eachother so its sassy and get stuck somewhere, so reader suggests a way to get out. Carl agrees, but if their idea fails Carl gets to do what he wants. Idea fails, carls idea is to make out.
pairings: carl x reader, best friend tara x reader
a/n: this is really stupid and unedited and lame and dumb idk read at your own risk. i didn’t follow the prompt exactly, but i never do lmao… i hope you guys still like this :-)
You stood against Michonne’s back as Rick forced open the door of an old store with a crowbar. Your knife was drawn, but you didn’t feel the need to get in fighting form. Michonne felt the same way–standing casually with her katana on her back.
The door swung open with a pop, and Rick drew his gun from his holster, leading your group into the small convenient store. You waited until everyone was in before entering, making sure to leave the door cracked behind you. Tara was waiting for you at the front door when you came inside.
Tara was your best friend. She had been since she joined your group after the Governor destroyed the prison. You were young, but you had been around the apocalypse for long enough to understand that you weren’t a kid anymore. At least, you didn’t expect to be treated like one.
Tara and you connected almost instantly. She was a childish adult, and you were a mature child. You two balanced each other out, and you could never be without her for more than a day or two. You two even shared a house when she was with Denise, for you wouldn’t let her live in a house without you.
“Hey, kids, come help us pack these up!” Rick called happily. Whenever you found a plethora of supplies, Rick would light up like a Christmas tree. You were going to have to give half of it up, of course, but you had to grow accustomed to scavenging for someone who didn’t care if you lived or died.
As you reached for a bag of food to pack into a box, your hand brushed up against Carl’s. You both rolled your eyes, and you moved your hand to find another bag to begin packing. You and Carl had never really gotten along, to say the least.
You were lonely when you met Rick’s group, and everyone expected you and Carl to get along great because of your ages. They were right, at first. You and Carl were best friends for the first few years you knew him. He was your best friend, and he was always kind and took care of you.
Carl changed when you two were around thirteen years old. You grew to dislike him more and more each day. You wouldn’t say you hated him, but he sure as hell seemed to hate you. Whenever you would even try to be civil, he would throw all respect to the curb.
Tara knew how much he bothered you, but she managed to remain his friend over time. You wouldn’t have minded being his friend, but you were afraid of talking with him about it, to begin with. You would never hear the end of it if he was completely unwilling to be civil with you.
A crash was heard from outside the store, and everyone turned their heads towards the sound. You tossed the bags of food you were holding into a box and picked it up, preparing to evacuate the store before you were discovered by whatever was outside.
“No,” Rick said, holding his hand up to you. “Let us get the boxes. Carl and (Y/N), I need you to stay in here with Tara. I’ll drive the car to the front of the store so we can load everything up, then we’re gonna leave. Michonne, grab a box. Tara, watch the kids and make sure nobody gets in here.”
You and Carl both sighed in sync, giving disapproving looks at Rick. Rick and Michonne were out the door before either of you could complain, though. Tara began packing food and supplies into her backpack, and you and Carl each followed in her lead.
A second crash sounded from outside the store, and Tara huffed through her teeth. “Alright, guys, stay here. I’ll be right back.” You almost told her to wait, but you hesitated for too long, and she was out the door. You glanced at Carl, who was already looking at you. He turned his head quickly.
“Why do you hate me?” you asked calmly. “I don’t wanna start a fight or anything. I’m really just curious. Did I do something to you that I don’t remember?” As soon as the words left your mouth, you realized how stupid they sounded.
“I don’t hate you,” Carl snapped. He walked away from you, but you followed him. “I just don’t think we have to be friends because we’re the same age. That’s all.”
“Well, yeah. I agree on that, but we used to get along so well! What happened?” Your voice was becoming more and more expressive as you thought about how stupid the rivalry between the two of you was. Carl chuckled and shook his head at the ground. You waited for a response, but he didn’t give you one.
“What happened?” you repeated, a little quieter than the last time. Carl must have noticed the change of your voice’s tone, for he looked up at you with a confused, yet endearing look on his face.
Carl shrugged his shoulders. “We grew up.”
The car could be heard pulling up in front of the store. Carl walked towards the door, leaving you in the back of the store. You heard the door swing open and quickly zipped up your backpack. Before you could stand up straight again, you were pulled further into the back of the store. You stood yourself up quickly, recognizing Carl as the person who was dragging you.
“Carl, what the hell!” you exclaimed.
“Shh,” he demanded, still holding you by the upper arm. “A car just pulled up outside, and it wasn’t dad.”
Your eyes widened as you heard the door swing open. Carl looked around quickly, then pulled you into a room in the back hallway. Just as he shut the door and locked it behind you, the front door could be heard swinging open. Carl wasn’t satisfied with the door being locked, though.
He scanned the room quickly and grabbed a chair tucked beneath a dusty desk and pushed it beneath the doorknob. You pushed yourself up so you were sitting on the desk. Carl turned around and began walking around the room, searching it for anything useful.
The room was quiet until you decided to speak up. “Carl?”
He looked up at you, raising his eyebrows.
“What did you mean earlier? When you said we grew up, what were you talking about?” Your feet hung off the edge of the desk, swinging back and forth.
Carl laughed to himself, shaking his head and sliding his hands over his chin. “You got hot.”
Your eyebrows raised, and you swore you could feel your cheeks flush pink.
“I got scared when I started thinking about you as… I don’t know. It was different, though. We were always best friends, and something just switched in me, and you were more than just pretty.”
Your face was probably red at that point, and you couldn’t seem to bring your eyes up from your shoes. You could have sworn that he hated you, but you were apparently far from right.
“Sorry,” he sighed with a smile. “Didn’t mean to make it weird.”
“No,” you said, raising your eyebrows. “I just… wasn’t expecting that.”
The silence that swept over the room made it easy for you and Carl to hear the sound of a shelf falling over from inside the store. You flinched when you realized how close the unknown people were to you. You had never been so alone and so scared before. There was always someone like Rick or Glenn with you to make sure you were safe, but you and Carl were alone that time.
Your eyes swept over the room once more as you searched for a way to escape the room you were stuck in. You only noticed two possible ways out, and they were both extremely risky. Your first option was to go out the door into the store and try to fight off the people to get to your car. Your second option was to climb out the window, which was only about one foot by two feet big.
“I wanna get out that window,” you stated. You hopped off the desk and told Carl to help you move it beneath the window to use as a stool.
“(Y/N), you can’t be serious,” he huffed. “There’s no way we can fit through that tiny window.”
“Well, we don’t really have any other options,” you said, letting go of the desk and deciding on climbing an old shelf instead.
“Yeah, we do. We’re just gonna wait this out until Dad brings a group back to get us out. He’s not just gonna leave us here,” Carl argued. You knew he was right, but you didn’t want to wait it out. You wanted to get out of the small room and back to Alexandria.
“(Y/N), get off the shelf. I’ll help you climb out the damn window,” Carl said, giving in to your idea.
“Thank you,” you replied.
“Under one condition,” Carl added. “If this plan of yours doesn’t work out, then I get to kiss you.”
Your eyes widened, and your face flushed pink once again. “All subtlety out the window, I guess.”
“You wanna try your window idea or not?”
If you were being honest, kissing Carl Grimes wasn’t the least appealing thing you would have had to do. You would easily pick that over several activities you had been forced to endure.
Carl helped you pick up the desk and move it beneath the window. You climbed on top of it, so you were face to face with the small glass frame, and it was clear to you that there was no way in hell you could fit through it.
“This isn’t going to work.” You turned back to him, and saw the noticeably apparent smirk on his face.
When the whole school learned that the two of you were dating, saying that they were surprised by the news was an understatement. Well, who would expect that someone like him would fall for someone like you? Him, who was practically considered as the Slytherin Prince, while you, who was a fierce yet sweet Y/H.
Yep, you were a Y/H. Not to mention that you were a half-blood too.
Honestly, some people would still look at the two of you like you were aliens. They gawked and weren’t even hiding the fact that they did — it sometimes drove you nuts. Draco, on the other hand, would smile smugly and place an arm around your shoulders, pulling you closer to his side while his eyes lingered on those boys who would look at you differently.
Some first years who had crushes on your boyfriend would either sigh or squel whenever you walked passed them with Draco beside you, his hands holding your books for you even though you already told him not to. The said students would wish that they were in your position, while some rooted for the two of you.
You see, you and Draco had a lot of differences. One of them was the obvious; having two different houses. He was considered as the bad boy, you were considered as the good girl; he came from a rich and well known family, you came from muggles who weren’t rich nor poor; he had these gray eyes, you had y/e/c; and he was mostly hated, you were mostly loved.
That’s why when the news spread, Hermione had to make you repeat your sentence over and over again just to be sure she was hearing it right.
“Wait, so you’re dating the Draco Malfoy?” she exclaimed with wide eyes.
You simply nodded and carried on eating. It wasn’t a big deal anyway, right? What was wrong about dating him? You, out of all the people, of course did know what they thought of Draco Malfoy — the rich snob, the bully, the jerk, the son of Lucius Malfoy who was once a follower of Voldemort, and the Slytherin who hated Harry Potter.
You weren’t oblivious to those facts, but the people didn’t know how loving and caring Draco was. You fell in love with him because one time when you were running late to class and accidentally knocked him down, he was the one who apologized and picked up your books. When he saw you crying one time alone at the top of the cliff, he offered his ears to you and listened as you poured your heart out. And when he saw you inside the library, studying a lesson that you couldn’t understand, Draco sat by your side, teaching you even though you didn’t ask for help.
So when he suddenly asked you if you wanted to come with him at Hogsmeade the next weekend, you didn’t hesitate to say yes. He was more than pleased by your answer, of course, and even said that: “You won’t regret it, Y/N.”, in which you replied with a roll of your eyes.
But what entertained most of the student body about your relationship is that you are both players for your houses’ Quidditch team. Draco Malfoy was the Slytherin Seeker, while you were one of the Y/N Chasers. They found it entertaining whenever you were already on the field and Draco purposely annoys you by suddenly flying past your way in incredible speed. Sometimes you would get revenge by throwing the Quaffle in his direction when a teammate was behind him.
Your teammates were more than annoyed whenever Y/H was going up against Slytherin because of this.
“Y/L/N!” the captain of your team would yell in a high pitched voice as you crossed the three hoops. “Focus, will you? And stop messing with Malfoy!”
But you would just laugh and fly away from him, in deep pursuit for the quaffle once again.
Though just like any other relationships, you and Draco had your downfalls. The thing you two most fought about is how he always insults muggles and muggleborn students, calling them mudblood or calling the pure bloods who liked the said students blood traitors. You would always hit him in the stomach or arm whenever he sneers at Harry Potter or throw an unpleasant remark towards Hermione and Ron. Draco would just look at you then, rolling his eyes and muttering several curses under his breath that drove you to be even angrier than before.
“You know, if I didn’t know better, I would have thought that you preferred to be with Potter than your boyfriend!” he once yelled in an argument, his tone full of jealousy.
With that line, you just closed your eyes and sighed.
You always knew Draco had some deep insecurities about Harry Potter, and if you say something that might sound like you do prefer him over Draco, you knew you would regret it afterwards.
So to cause no more drama, you would suddenly pull him in a tight hug, in which he would always bury his head on your shoulder, stroking his blonde hair as you both murmur a bunch of “sorry’s” to each other.
And that’s why you loved each other dearly. No matter how much of a jerk Draco Malfoy might be, if you could have any person to love over and over again, you would definitely, no doubt in your mind, pick him.
Summary: After years of silence, you and your ex-best friend Steve start talking again.
A/N: Hey guys! This is my first Stranger Things fic, but I just had to write it, yanno? This will probably be a series if the first part gets a good reaction. Gosh Steve is so dreamy. Drop requests in my inbox if you have anyyy. I LOVE FEEDBACK, so gimme some!!!!
Also, gif belongs to owner.
You had been Steve Harrington’s across-the-street neighbor your entire life. You grew up riding bikes with him up and down the street, swimming in his pool on hot summer days, and sneaking out after bedtime to tell scary stories and catch fireflies. You were inseparable for the longest time- your parents and his even joked that you’d grow up and get married one day.
But Steve was a year older than you, so when he moved on to middle school while you were still in fifth grade, you grew apart. It wasn’t heartbreaking or anything- it happens. Kids grow apart. By the time you caught up with him in high school, his reputation as King Steve had been built. He was popular, dated all kinds of girls, captain of the basketball team, and had parties nearly every weekend his parents were out of town.
You weren’t like that. You hated big parties. You thought the concept of getting sloshed and screaming all night was idiotic (though you’d never done it before). You focused on your schoolwork, joined the school newspaper and yearbook staff. You and Steve didn’t run in the same circles hardly at all. Occasionally you’d chat in the hallway, but it was never anything important. You interviewed him once for an article regarding the basketball team. He stopped by with a casserole for your mom from his mom. Nothing crazy.
Last you’d heard, Nancy Wheeler had dumped him, after nearly a year of going out, for Jonathan Byers. But it didn’t make any difference to you. You had no feelings for Steve.
hi, it’s me, back at it again w/ the (mostly) non-sexual intimacy
I would very much like to discuss soft baths and andreil today bc i had a fucking fantastic bubble bath and i think everyone should have more of them so buckle up my dudes
(also we’re operating in a little au in which college dorms have baths bc i do what the fuck i want)
it starts mostly just bc andrew likes to have baths, he likes to sit there for ages in the soapy water and let it relax his muscles after tough training for stupid sports and adds hot water when it gets cold and he is short enough that his whole body can be under water (lucky bastard)
he likes to hold his breath under water and enjoy how everything feels muffled and distant and separate and like nothing else matters for a minute so he usually has baths when he’s having a bad day, with a locked door and soft pyjamas and hot chocolate waiting for when he comes out
it also happens in part bc Allison likes two things a lot
1 - buying things for her friends
2 - lush bath bombs
so she combines this and decides that neil Needs some bath bombs bc we all know this boy is shit at self-care so allison is trying to get him to take actual care of himself bc she is an Excellent friend
one day she comes to visit armed with a bag of lovely smelling stuff, shoves it at neil and tells him to take a fucking bath
neil is sorta stunned (poor boy still isn’t great at accepting gifts but between andrew’s eden’s outfits and allison’s enthusiasm for gift-giving he’s been getting better) and he just sort of mumbles out a thank you and allison gives his cheek a soft pat
neil takes them all back to his dorm and lays them all out and smells them all and some are too strong but most of them are so nice and he actually likes the idea of them a lot and makes plans to take an actual bath this weekend for the first time in years
It’s been awhile since I’ve posted a fic rec list, and since we are only 76 followers away from TEN THOUSAND, I figured I’d throw the latest bunch of fics I’ve read together for you guys. I know things have been slow over here lately, but I want to thank you guys for sticking with me even when I don’t post every day. Y’all are the best! Happy Reading!
Derek snaps his head up, stares at him in horror, “No, boss.”
“Yes,” Finstock insists in a steely voice. “The NSSL have been on at us for a year about some decent exposure, and I think you’re just the team to do it.”
“I haven’t done weather since college,” Derek protests.
Boyd snorts again, presumably because he’s thinking back to the time when Derek and the weather last collided and he…. well, did the guy into the weather for a brief, wonderful, terribly foolish time. But, Boyd needs to shut up before Derek punches him on the nose.
“I didn’t know you could sing.” The guy says, walking towards him, cautious.
Derek busies himself with closing the guitar case, waits for the guy to say anything else or maybe introduce himself. The bar is always crowded whenever Derek sings, and many people approach him every night, how would Derek remember who he is?
“Do I know you?” He ends up asking, not being able to hide the annoyed tone. He just wants to go home, take a shower and watch some stupid TV show.
To his surprise the guy flinches. “I don’t think so.”
There aren’t really words for this – “sure, dude. Let’s hang out sometime and bond over the fact that our lives suck and we’ve both basically killed a bunch of people by accident” somehow doesn’t roll off the tongue. –
Prompt: In the aftermath of 3B, Stiles and Derek learn to trust, learn to fuck, and learn to love themselves, each other, and their pack.
Summary: After a summer of messing around, you were now ready for your first day as a NYPD officer. However, nothing could have prepared you for the surprise that was in store for you. Your team consists of all your summer one-night-stands. What are the odds? (Modern-Day Alternate Universe Drabble Series, based off of ‘Mamma Mia!’)
Author’s Note: I made this one nice and long since you guys were so patient with me. Thank you guys for all of your feedback! It means a lot.
Pairing: Steve Rogers x Bucky Barnes x Pietro Maximoff x Reader
Jake English fucking loves booty shorts, guys. Also: Dirk Strider.
I really could not believe it when I heard some people say Jake wears booty shorts because Dirk is a Predatory Gay and made him do so, but here we are. In any case, it took me forever to realize this, so it’s worth pointing out.
Jake uses his clothes to express his inclinations more than maybe any other one of the kids. Jake himself foreshadows his future inclination towards gear that shows off his ass…ets:
Frankly, I don’t think much else needs to be said there? There’s a canonical reason Jake dresses the way he dresses, and that reason is that Jake likes tomb raiders and sexy-looking action heroines, and he wants to be a sexy action hero and look sexy doing it. That’s really all there is to it.
…Or it would be, except that unlike Jake’s relationship with fighting, Jake actually experiences struggles and complications relating to looking sexy, and becomes insecure and vulnerable due to the way people treat him as a sex object.
It’s no surprise this happens. Jake has a list of sexual/romantic voyeurs and aggressors, and his discomfort and trauma in this area is an integral part of his character.
Early on, Obviously, there’s the AR, who’s lasciviousness is so well-documented I don’t think it’s worth repeating here.
Brobot is often accused of being a sexual aggressor as well. This belief is based on two quotes from the story:
This one, from AR. The thing is, AR is known for being pretty hyperbolic and overly sexual about pretty much all situations–kind of like a 13 year kid would be, you know?
What Jake himself says about the Brobot’s actions is much more indicative of the nature of the Brobot’s actions. Specifically:
Jake describes the Brobot as tender. And Tender is a specific word with specific, almost memetic meaning in Homestuck:
A meaning that only a juvenile teenager LIKE the Auto-Responder would consider sexual. Or at least, someone similarly trapped in immaturity.
Yeah. I know fanon is really pervasive about this idea that the Brobot was on the list of sexual aggressors, but the only real implication the canon itself makes is that it was doing tame proposals and handholds like this. That’s what Jake is referring to. It becomes problematic for him, but only because of the AR’s taunting and the fact that he and Dirk can’t figure out how to talk about it.
Brain Ghost Dirk makes some comments to this effect, however–likely reflecting the way the AR has messed with Jake’s head and successfully made him conflate the way the AR sees him and the way Dirk sees him. Even after the AR stops being an active presence in Jake’s life, it still makes its impact known through BGD’s characterization.
We also have no reason to believe Dirk even knows Brain Ghost Dirk exists, let alone has any active say in what he says or how he acts, either. BGD is, after all, predominantly Jake’s brain–and thus a reflection of, at best, how he THINKS Dirk sees him.
Note how even though Jake fully expects Brain Ghost Dirk to make lascivious and leery comments to him, he never expects Brain Ghost Dirk to try to touch him in a way he doesn’t want to be touched. On top of that, In fact, Jake makes a point of noting that Dirk is more conscientious towards him than either the AR or Brain Ghost Dirk:
And then, of course Jane literally threatens Jake with sexual slavery (while corrupted by an evil supercomputer):
So yeah, Jake is pretty uncomfortable with being seen as sexy by the time Aranea gets to him. It wouldn’t be unreasonable if the idea of being seen as sexy–or even just wearing short shorts–was ruined for him completely.
It wouldn’t even be unreasonable if his image of Dirk was tarnished, even though Dirk wasn’t really responsible for what was happening any more than he was.
But different people respond to trauma differently. And once Aranea objectifies him completely and renders him a tool–literally lightning him up and making it so ALL EYES are on him right when Jake feels most exposed and vulnerable, Jake responds in a pretty peculiar way.
With his Hope powers unlocked, Jake could theoretically do anything. Send hordes of angels to attack, make himself invisible, bring Grandma back from the dead…given what Jake actually ends up doing, it doesn’t make much sense to imagine arbitrary limits on his power. Because what Jake does when he needs to feel safe is make his imaginary friend real.
Again: Making something fake real is, by definition, pretty much the hardest thing to do–both in real life, and to convey compellingly narratively.
Even Jake teleporting his grandma from the past and reviving her to come protect him would be more reasonable a storytelling move than Jake being able to create matter and a personality out of thin air. You would only need Time and Space powers to theoretically pull of that absurd feat, so it would technically be possible to accomplish.
Making your imaginary friend real, though? That’s completely impossible for everyone, everywhere. Except for Jake English.
But Jake English can do anything, which means what we actually does reflects not only what he wants, but what he wants MORE than anything else possible to him.
And what he wants is Dirk Strider, coming to his rescue and keeping him safe from his latest aggressor. Kinda like Brobot always protected Jake from feeling unsafe when he was threatened:
Brain Ghost Dirk even calls himself Jake’s boyfriend, and this is after Dirk broke up with him and he worried about not being able to love anyone:
And right before Dirk breaks them off, while Jake is in trickster form and completely uninhibited, he confesses feelings to Dirk and makes a point to note he was willing to be romantically involved with him:
And luckily, as for his relationship with his shorts, Jake had a good pal give him some advice and boost his self-confidence:
And over the course of [S] Credits, Jake apparently patches things up enough with Dirk that they’re living together and can comfortably fight for fun like he always wanted. On top of that, he’s recovered his confidence in his image enough that he can act out the sexy superhero fantasy he loved so much:
Both his relationship with Dirk and his relationship with his body are sorted out, and Jake’s now happy and comfortable with himself. How it happened, exactly? Who knows–there’s as many different ways it could’ve gone down as you can imagine. But the fact is, it did. And it was laid out this way from the beginning.
What’s the exact nature of Dirk and Jake’s arrangement? Not really relevant. What we know is that they’re living together, that Jake was always willing to have a relationship with him and that never stopped being a thing, and that Jake trusts Dirk with his safety over literally anything else.
What we know is that they’re best friends and mutually romantically interested in each other, whether or not they decide to pursue that.
We also know Jake always liked dressing sexy so long as he was safe and didn’t have to worry about people dehumanizing him. And in this new world, he can do that as much as he wants, too:
Anyway Jake English is the best character in Homestuck and he’s happy with his boyfriend Dirk canonically, and he’s also happy and comfortable with his body while doing it because that was never the issue when he was with Dirk.
Tomorrow I should be following this up with one last Jake post–this one talking about how Jake is way way smarter than everyone thinks he is. You know. Except for Dirk, who explicitly knows Jake is smart.
Dr. William Sack on Kip Kinkel
In his psychological evaluation of 15 year old mass shooter Kip Kinkel, Dr. William Sack cited paranoid schizophrenia as a psychological disorder that Kinkel suffered from, as well as a contributive factor to his crimes. He noted that Kinkel also experienced prominent symptoms of depression that often worsened his schizophrenic psychosis as they arose.
Kinkel had evidently been hearing voices consistently since he was twelve years old. He told Dr. Sack that there were 3 different male voices that he heard regularly. One that would insult and berate him, another that encouraged him to kill, and a third that would repeat or respond to the other two voices. Along with his hallucinations, Kip Kinkel also developed delusions that were paranoid in nature. Dr. Sack recorded a total of five main delusions that he observed in Kinkel, all of which made him paranoid. The most noteable delusion was his belief that there was a chip implanted in his brain. This delusion derived from an attempted rationalization of the voices that he’d been hearing since age 12.
Dr. Sack concluded that Kip Kinkel’s schizophrenic tendencies directly influenced his crimes. He felt that the buildup of stress and the development of the psychosis had overwhelmed Kinkel’s self control.
After being convicted of the murder of his parents and those killed in the mass shooting, along with attempted murder of those injured, Kinkel was sentenced to 111 years without parole. He was put on atypical antipsychotics and antidepressants including Olanzapine. Dr. Sack reported a positive response to the medication on his visit ten days into treatment, as Kinkel told him the voices became much less aggressive and persistent.
Okay guys. Here it is. After 11 years the story of Fairy Tail finally comes to a close. So let’s dive into Chapter 545 “Irreplaceable Friends”
We open at a big fancy party thrown in Lucy’s honor for her best selling book, “The Adventure of Iris”. Honestly… Good to know Lucy gets a successful career in her ending.
and we now get the cover page…
It’s a little crowded, and I think there has been better shots of all of Fairy Tail together, but nostalgia is really kicking in.
The next few pages is just shots of FT being FT.
So Lucy begins to narrate some things that have happened in the last year. First about her book and then…
Oh god. Not you. Yes, Anna gets to live in this time period, with no consequences and not even a meaningful conversation with Lucy. To top it off, she’s now a teacher. Yeah, seeing as how all of Anna’s “intellect“ just kept making things worse and worse, I don’t think those kids are in for a good academic future.
Seems like Levy is pregnant. Cool. Not that this isn’t bad, but after the whole Bradman thing, this was kinda obvious.
We then cut to other guilds. Like Lamia scale and we find out that Chelia…
Are you fucking kidding me? I guess this war really did have no lasting consequences for our heroes!
This is the last of Sabertooth. Which I swear is just a copied image from the Avatar arc when the “Tora Tora eating festival” was introduced.
I guess Ichiya is Blue Pegasus’s master now? Well he did survive a suicide trip pushing Acnologia into a portal, guess he earned this title.
Wow this arc has done well at stripping away Kagura’s dignity. From getting striped by Dimaria, to giving Jellal CPR shirtless, to being given a magic induced orgasm, and now she’s a model. Okay there’s nothing wrong with being a model, but this is Kagura. Stoic, Badass Swordswoman, I didn’t see becoming a magazine model as a future for her character. She doesn’t even seem to like this! Actually wait! The caption says that Mermaid Heel’s girls all became models… Wow, way to treat the female only guild.
We cut to the party where…
Oh god, Gildarts no… Also Juvia, I know you spent time with Gray and developed the striping habbit, but you usually did it in combat… I don’t get why you’re doing it now.
Gray drags off Juvia and begins to lecture her on her scar…
So they’re canon… I think? Kinda… Sorta… No well explained… Hey wait! I just realized that this whole big plot point about how Gray will give Juvia an answer and keep her from being left hanging, doesn’t end in a straight answer, but a maybe?! AKA still left hanging! Dude, grow a spine and say it!
Wait… what’s this…
I love this scene! Mashima you glorious bastard~
We then cut to see that King Toma has abdicated, making Hisui queen. Yeah… Hisui… She totally earned it… What have you even done?Well she does make peace with Alvarez. Which is most likely going through a civil war to determine who is now the ruling body given the emperor and most of his top men are dead.
But Hisui also pardons Crime Sociere…
Y’know her telling them to live, would be a bit more powerful, if she interacted with Erza and not Lucy.
Yeah now the most controversial part of the chapter…
Erza and Jellal don’t get together. In fact, they don’t even talk. Y’know I did a brief post on my thoughts about this and I still stand by, Mashima is under no obligation to get them together, but he does at least owe them a conversation. At least. Because when you tease something like that, you really can’t leave open ended. If they aren’t going to get together you should at least give them a conversation that at least leads to them making the decision not to get together.
(Also Erza’s hair was that gorgeous without brushing it?!)
And Makarov can’t walk anymore… Oh god it must hard for him to make it through each day now, old, numerous heart attacks, lost the ability to walk. At this point just mercy kill him. Wait, he’ll probably live through that too.
Oh yeah and the other controversial scene…
Yup. Mavis and Zeref have been reincarnated and are now destined to fall in love again… Oh god… Why? You concluded their story! The whole journey of them as a couple had a great ending. Granted I felt it was weighed down by the Alvarez arc really dropping the ball with the whole relationship thing, before their conclusion. So this really feels like it ruins that big curse breaking moment, because they actually don’t escape their eternal cycle. Instead of being immortal they’re just reincarnated. Also one month is a short time for these reincarnations to be born and then make it to their teenage years
We get a montage shot of FT acting like FT and…
Wow… A ship with no canon interaction gets acanon ending. Mashima, you glorious bastard…
We cut to the next day in Lucy’s home, where… (For old time’s sake)
Natsu is in her living room. Appears she passed out after getting drunk, and brought her home.
And then this scene.
I know there are some upset that Natsu and Lucy didn’t get together, but this scene is really heartfelt. Regardless of the quality of every arc in question, I genuinely feel that these are two people who’ve been through thick and thin.
So they run off on another adventure… But not just on any adventure…
A 100 year quest.
So we close out on another montage showing off FT.
Umm looks like Fairies don’t have tails…
Anyway that is the conclusion, and after 11 long years the stories of Natsu, Lucy, Gray, Erza, Wendy, Happy, and Carla, come to an end, but the adventure of Fairy Tail lives on…
Post Chapter Follow Up: I’m going to start with the negatives only because I want to end on a positive note.
The biggest issue with this conclusion, is a lot of the individual ends feel iffy… Weather they don’t seem to fit the character like Kagura, or give a level of finality to their story like Jellal, or even acknowledge there has been a change to get us to this point like sabertooth. It really hurts because these are the last time we’ll see these characters and leaving them off with those conclusions is bitter sweet.
Let’s also talk about the controversial stuff. The biggest is the ambiguity. The “story” has to end without the story ending, thus it doesn’t go against a never ending adventure. There are things I think you can leave ambiguous, like Natsu and Lucy going off on an adventure, or what happens to all of the guilds as a whole. But there are some stuff that really you can’t do given the time spent on it. As I said, I am fine with Mashima not making pairs canon. Afterall, he isn’t under obligation to, just because the ships have large fanbases. That said he needs to at least give a straight answer. WIth all the time spent, you need to show us how you come to the end for these pairs and why that might not get together.
Another thing that really hurts is the Zeref and Mavis thing… Why? It’s not a bad scene, but it’s bad because it really ruins their already good conclusion. Doesn’t destroy it, but does make it a lot lesser.
So with all that said… Lets get to the positives,. First of all, I really do want to give Hiro Mashima for attempting something different for his conclusion than the typical shounen ending. I do think it is muddled a bit in execution, but this could’ve very well been just a repeat of Rave’s ending. I’m glad he ended it, his own way.
Another thing is the FT hijicks. I know a lot of the cast of FT didn’t do much this final arc, but it’s so nice to see them all get to show of their personalities one more time before the curtain draws to a close.
And finally, that moment with Natsu and Lucy. I know people are upset that the two are not together as lovers, but that doesn’t take away this really is two characters that share a genuine bond. Maybe not romantic, but it really feels like a finale for these two.
So this is the last time I’m going to do this for FT…
Final Verdict: 5/10
It’s too ambiguous
It does have some head scratching edings for characters
It has very sweet moments of characterization
Reminds of the jiy these characters brought me.
Before we go,This is it, this is the last review for a chapter of Fairy Tail I’m going to ever write. It’s been an honor and pleasure bringing you a review week to week. I wouldn’t be anything without this series, I could’ve never made my blog what it is without this series help, and all of your help dear readers. We had a lot of fun. Sure, at times it wasn’t always good, we had ups and we had downs, but that was what Fairy Tail was, a ride. And it’s a ride I don’t regret getting on. I hope it left everyone with some good memories. So till we see each other again, stay gold!
This is quite easily the dirtiest thing I have ever written and I hope you enjoy it…bringing 2k16 out with a bang…quite literally I guess? There’s no backstory to this…just pure smut…ten pages of pure…smut…
Warnings: Spanking, verbal degradation, DP (double penetration for you virgin souls), boy x boy, anal, mild choking, Dom/Sub…I think that’s it. If you see anything else, let me know
“No, Luke, the other one,” Ashton’s voice commanded. Y/n pulled lightly on the ropes binding her arms, her skin tender from the initial pulling, quickly learning it wasn’t a good idea if she wanted to finish this with skin around her wrists. Her world was dark, line of vision completely blocked from the blindfold covering her eyes trying to listen to the voices just on the other side of the door wondering what their plan was.
She didn’t know how she was feeling about this, the entire scenario starting because of a small, blown out of proportion argument she had had with her boyfriend Ashton about him being too soft on her, somehow ending in the challenge that he wouldn’t share her with his band mates…and here they were, not even twenty-four hours later, her pussy already sore from the pounding Ashton had already given her from the argument, not slightly regretting edging him on, but there was enough lust flowing through her veins to push any of those feelings away quickly.
request: “Hey can I request prompt 92 with Draco Malfoy? It’s okay if you don’t want to 😊” - by anon
a/n: what do you mean it’s okay if i don’t want to? OF COURSE I WANT TO IT’S DRACO MALFOY. (hope you like this ahaha. also, let’s just pretend they’re not 14-year-olds in this imagine bc it takes place in the goblet of fire lol)
92. “Not that I’d prefer him, but he is definitely more handsome than you are.”
“Draco, look! There he is!” you whispered to the boy beside you, slapping him repeatedly on the arm to gain his attention while your other hand was pointing quite excitedly to the middle of the Great Hall where the Durmstrang students were now doing a very impressive entrance.
Draco Malfoy scoffed, scowling at the sight of Viktor Krum walking along with his schoolmates. To be honest, he was definitely jealous by how you were giving the International Quidditch player so much attention as soon as he arrived that Draco didn’t even bother to please you by joining along the cheering.
“Holy cow.” you gasped just as Viktor Krum took a seat not far from yours. “Do you think he’ll sign me an autograph if I walked out there and asked, Draco?”
“I don’t know, Y/N. Why don’t you throw yourself at him and try?” he deadpanned.
You sent him a glance of annoyance before leaning in slightly on your table to look sideways where Krum was chatting with some of your housemates already.
Draco scoffed, “What’s with him, anyway? Anyone could play Quidditch -”
“You got to be kidding me!” you cut him off. “No one plays Quidditch like Krum. And not only that, he is so …” you dreamily stared at him.
“What?” Draco urged you to continued and finally, you flickered your eyes on him to see that he was grimacing.
“Handsome.” you grinned.
Draco clenched his hand into a fist. “Y/N, you might want to check your eyes and visit Madam Pomfrey.”
You laughed at his expression, placing a hand over his. “Come on. It’s not that I’d prefer him, but he is definitely more handsome than you are.” you carried on teasing him.
For a few weeks now, you and Draco had been going on dates after admitting to yourselves that the both of you indeed fancied each other much more than a friend. That was why he was so jealous and you were having so much fun knowing that he was, much to his disapproval.
“Hey,” you shook the hand you were still holding when he gave you no response, the platinum haired boy didn’t look at you as he glumly picks on his food. “Draco, I was only kidding.”
“Didn’t seem that you were.” he murmured.
You were biting your lip to fight off the smile that was beginning to show. “Of course, I was. You are definitely, no doubt, one hundred percent, more good looking and attractive and handsome than Krum.” you over exaggerated, finally making Draco to look at you.
You could see that he was trying hard not to laugh. “You are ridiculous.” he said, only chuckling.
“Am I forgiven then?”
Draco smirked. “I’ll think about it.”
“Now you’re the one being ridiculous.”
“Well, sorry, but I’m not the one who was fawning over another guy when she already has a boyfriend.” the scowl was on his face again.
"Boyfriend.“ you repeated. “Is that what you are? Because honestly, you haven’t even asked me to be your girlfriend.”
Draco was about to say something but decided against it, closing his mouth afterwards.
Truth was, you were right. The two of you have been dating for a moderately long time now and still he hasn’t bothered to ask you to make it official which made you annoyed a little bit. But even though you felt that way, you never confronted him about it - until now, that is to say.
“I thought I didn’t need to ask.” he murmured after a good minute.
“How come?” you crossed your arms.
Draco turned to you. “Because I thought we already were. I mean, Y/N, we’ve been kissing and going on dates - isn’t that what couples do?”
"Yeah, but -“
"And you know I’m only yours.” he raised an eyebrow.
You blushed in embarrassment and also because of his statement. “Okay, fine, I’m sorry. It’s totally my fault.”
He snorted. “Well, now that you mentioned it. Would you be my girlfriend?” he was now grinning.
"Your lack of romanticism still amazes me, Malfoy. Jeez, I was kidding.“ you quickly added the last part when he gave you the look. "And yeah, I’ll be your girlfriend.”
“Good.” he was about to lean in and give you a kiss when your eyes widened and you pointed behind him.
He rolled his eyes and cut you off by pressing his lips on yours like originally planned. Some of the Slytherins that were on the table whistled and shouted at the scene in front of them while you laughed against the kiss, the both of you pulling away shortly after.
Your eyes were shining and your cheeks were crimson red. “What was that for?” you asked him breathlessly, Draco shrugging with a smug grin on his face.
"Had to show Krum that you’re taken, of course. It occurred to me that he might be the only competition that I’m going to have.“
"Believe me, there’s no competition.” you assured him.
Draco nodded, leaning away from your face to start eating again, holding your hand the whole time as Viktor Krum walked passed behind the both of you.
Stiles did not hesitate outside Derek’s door. He hesitated in the parking lot, far enough away that Derek wouldn’t be able to hear his heartbeat and know that he was there for ten minutes before actually coming in. After those ten minutes were up, he took a deep breath and forced himself out of the Jeep.
He barged into Derek’s loft without bothering to knock, just like he usually did, and Derek didn’t even bother looking up from his book. It was something in French, it looked like, which was just not fair because how dare Derek be both ridiculously attractive and also fluently multilingual?
Sties did not let himself be distracted by the hot professor look Derek had going on with the French book and the steaming mug of tea and the argyle sweater, all laid out on the leather couch and soaked in sunbeams from the large wall of windows.
“Derek, my main man, I have a proposition for you.”
Derek looked up then, but only to raise an eyebrow at him. When Stiles didn’t break under the force of his judgment and go scurrying back from whence he came, Derek reluctantly closed his book and set it aside.
“I’m pretty sure Scott is your main man,” he said lightly. “And what proposition is this?”
“How would you like to help me stick it to some bigots?”
Both Derek’s eyebrows went up this time and Stiles mentally patted himself on the back for making him look so surprised. Getting any expression out of Derek Hale that wasn’t judgy or unimpressed was an accomplishment and Stiles kept a running tally of how many times he managed it.
“What kind of bigots?” Derek asked with caution that was both insulting and also probably warranted considering some of Stiles’ past shenanigans. “And stick it to them how exactly?”
Stiles took another deep breath and hoped his erratic heartbeat wasn’t giving him away. He was not going to let his awkwardness and inability to control his autonomic functions around Derek ruin his plan, not when the plan was so wonderfully petty and promised to be so very satisfying.
“Okay, so…” Stiles clapped his hands together and then held them out to the side, barely restraining the urge to do jazz hands. “I don’t know if you heard, but I came out at school a few weeks ago,” he said. “One seriously bisexual dude, right here, newly out and proud.”
“Oh,” Derek said, his beautiful face—a face worthy of a sexuality crisis, not that Stiles was ever, ever going to tell him about that—not really looking any more or less surprised than before the big revelation. “I hadn’t heard,” he said. “But that’s good. The out and proud part, I mean,” he added quickly. “Not the bigots, which are unfortunate but do make more sense with some context.”
“Yeah. Overall, it’s been fine,” Stiles said, tucking his hands into his pockets so he didn’t do something stupid like make finger guns. He had a tendency to make finger guns at inappropriate moments. “You know, most people really don’t care. But some people are just naturally douchebags.”
“Are they giving you trouble?” Derek asked, a frown creeping onto his face.
Stiles waved him off, then re-pocketed his hand.
“Keep the claws in, Sourwolf. I’m not getting shoved into lockers or anything. It’s just like…”
Stiles chewed on his lip, fighting back the wave of irritation that always accompanied his run-ins with the douchebags.
“Like, some of them insist that I’m actually gay and just too much of a coward to say it outright,” he said. “Others say I’m actually straight but can’t get a girl to sleep me, so I thought I’d try my hand at guys instead because I’m that undesirable and desperate to get laid. I’m just indecisive and greedy and afraid of commitment. That kind of bullshit.”
Derek was scowling outright now, hands fisted like he might actually pop his claws on Stiles’ behalf.
“That is bullshit,” he said heatedly. “But what do you want me to do about it? I’m assuming you’re not here to get me to tear their throats out.”
He looked like he might actually do it, though, if Stiles asked him to, and that warmed Stiles’ cold little heart.
“Uh, no,” Stiles said with a chuckle. “No, that seemed like a little much in the circumstances.”
“Then how am I supposed to help you get back at them?”
“By going to prom with me.”
Stiles was not surprised that this proclamation was met with silence.
“Prom,” Stiles repeated. “My senior prom. With me. As my date. Well, as one of my dates, actually.”
“These assholes keep insisting that I have to ‘pick a side,’” Stiles said, air quotes and all. “They think I can’t like both women and men, or that neither women nor men could ever like me. I want to prove them wrong. I want to show up to prom with two dates, a boy and a girl, and rub it in all their faces that both my dates are hotter than any of theirs.”
Stiles ran a hand through his hair, his confidence in his brilliant plan waning ever so slightly in the face of Derek’s lack of reaction. He was just kind of staring. Maybe Stiles had finally come up with something so outlandish that he broke Derek. Or maybe Derek was going to clock him in the face and be horribly offended that Stiles was objectifying him or something.
“Erica already agreed to be my girl-date,” Stiles told him. “She’s actually really excited about it. A chance to flaunt her stuff and deliberately make a scene all night long? That’s right up her alley. And you…well, you are by far the most attractive guy I know, so I just thought…”
“You want me to go to senior prom with you, just to be your arm candy?” Derek asked slowly.
“Uh, yeah, that sounds about right. But it’s for a good cause!”
There was another excruciatingly long beat of silence, and then Derek laughed. He laughed hard, head thrown back against the couch cushions, hands slapping against his knees, face scrunched up and shiny bunny teeth on full display. It was the kind of laugh that made Stiles’ heart skip a beat and he was very glad Derek was too preoccupied with his amusement to notice.
“Is this a good laugh or a bad laugh?” Stiles asked.
“Good laugh,” Derek choked out through continued chuckles, wiping at his streaming eyes.
“So does that mean you’ll do it?”
“Yeah,” Derek said, looking up at him with a smile that could stop wars. “Yeah, I’ll do it. Sounds like a good time to me. And, like you said, it’s definitely for a good cause.”
Stiles fist-pumped, already reveling in triumph at the thought of the looks that would be on those biphobic douchebags’ faces.
“I do have one condition, though.” Derek said.
“Anything, dude, you’re the best and I owe you, like, every favor on the planet.”
Derek’s smile widened, a gleam in his eye that made Stiles the tiniest bit hot under the collar.