well that's one way to do it :')

Every OJST Comic
  • Erika Moen, buried neck deep in the ground: Hey, guys. Today we have a special guest comic from the guy who lives in the sewage pipe behind my house. Hopefully this one doesn't get too FILTHY for you.
  • Some Guy: Gee, it sure is boring around here.
  • Dirt Monger: *poofs out of nowhere*
  • Some Guy: Who are you!!!????
  • Dirt Monger: I'm the dirt monger and I love eating dirt for sexual pleasure.
  • Some Guy: You mean shoveling tons of dirt into your mouth!!!!!?????????????????
  • Dirt Monger: Yes, it's a completely valid normal way of exploring your kinky identity.
  • Some Guy: But, isn't eating dirt SUPER UNHEALTHY.
  • Dirt Monger: Not at all if you follow SAFE DIRT PROTOCOLS. Always make sure to wear dental dam while consuming dirt sexually and to never actually swallow dirt because you don't want that shit in your stomach. Set up code phrases with your partner like "More Dirt" and "Not Enough Dirt" if you don't think you're getting your fair share of dirt shoveled directly into your stupid fucking face.
  • Some Guy: Wow, I'm so turned on right now.
  • Dirt Monger: That's the spirit. Consuming dirt like a human backhoe is a great way to bond with your partner and discover more about yourself as well.
  • Some Guy: I can't wait to eat dirt like the disgusting troglodyte that I am. Actually, can we mud too?
  • Dirt Monger: No, you dumbass! Dirt and mud are completely unrelated things! I'm the dirt monger, not the mud monger! Do you think I'm stupid?
  • Some Guy: Jeez, sorry I asked.
  • Dirt Monger: Hahaha! One more thing, eating dirt has a direct connection to several radical far-right subcultures. Googling dirt eating may take you down a dark path. I just want everyone to know that they do not represent the whole of the dirt eating community. You can practice the sexual consumption of dirt without turning into a nazi. We completely and entirely disavow fascist dirt eaters. THANKS FOR READING.
I was doing well, and then one thing hit and after that I can barely lift my head up from everything thats crashed down onto me.
And half of it is because of you.
After you left, I hid my feelings so well that I even forgot I felt them. I used forgetting as a way to heal, I forgot to feel the emotions that come after a breakup and I was doing so well because of that.
But now I’m remembering. And since I’ve started I cant stop. I remember being there the first time our hands intertwined and I remember the way it felt to be so close to you. and I remember every single phone call that we had. And all that may sound nice, because it did make me smile, it did make me laugh thinking about the things you’d say but then it just hurt because your not here. none of that is here anymore.
You use to text me in all caps saying you loved me and now you don’t even look in my direction. You can’t even say hello anymore..
And it hurts, because now that I remember how it felt to be there, to have you, to love and be loved, I miss you.
I miss you so damn much and I can’t breathe because suddenly I’m reminded of when you ended things. and then the picture flashes through my mind of you with her.
And now I can’t even get out of bed anymore because life hurts too damn much.
Because I’m reminded of how people can wake up one day and decide that they don’t love you anymore. and I’m so scared that everyone I have ever known will leave.
.
—  you screwed me up
Petition to change captions 2.0.

YouTube, I know you are not going to listen to me and thanks to Mark & Ethan I now 100% sure know you are not going to listen to your creators, and even less so to your fans..

Why are you like this YouTube?? Why don’t you see that people are being so terribly ableist.
Examples I’ve seen for the past weeks
- Excess use of some emojis and people being proud of using them
- Septiplier in the captions (  you are a gross disgusting being if you do this )
- People saying throughout the video, things like “ My captions were messed with im sorry i tried to fix it “
- Use of Zalgo Text ( a glitch font ) in captions.
- Selfpromotion
- Own commentary in brackets after the original captions ( seriously get that shit out of there, put that in a comment section )
- People claiming to it being okay to put bullshit captions in if there is no talking going on ( You know that, a deaf person wouldnt, because surprise surprise, they dont know when someone is talking or not. )

I know you are meaning well, but thats not going to fix it.

I have realized that there is no way I’m going to be able to reach out to YouTube itself and tackle this problem there. So instead I’m taking it to the ones who can really change this. The creators.

So here comes my tag list of people who can hopefully change this system for the better
YouTube is not going to change its own system.
So here is my idea on how we could do this: Hire people to change your captions correctly. Some of you might be happy with the idea of captioning being a community based thing, and I know for a fact there are fans out there, who are able to do this professionally. Or people who would be willing to learn how to do it professionally.
Captioning works educational aswell for therapeutic.
I’ve always said I would take a job in captioning in a heartbeat, sadly some companies are really strict on stylesheets and their own rules.
I wish YouTube and its creators would realize how many people out there wish to do this as a freelance thing.
Simply as video-editors, there can be video-captioners.

@therealjacksepticeye @markiplier @crankgameplays @pewdie @wiishu @pixlpit @danielhowell @tyleroakley @cinnamontoastken @lordminion @gamegrumps

Feel free to reblog & tag any other YouTube creator you can think of.

Save CC for safe CC

Original post:
http://chaenir-sam.tumblr.com/post/161444355919/petition-for-safer-captions

Well, that's one way to do it.

[ The PCs are interrogating a crying, mentally disabled teenager about an escaped zoo animal. ]
Bard: “I want to sense motive on him.”
DM: “Really?”
Bard: “Yeah! He’s shady! I think he’s lying!”
Rogue: “What? No! He’s upset, he’s not–”
Bard: [ rolls ] “Twenty-three.”
DM: “With that roll, you realize with perfect clarity that he is a sobbing, mentally disabled teenager who feels terrible about what just happened.”
Bard: “…oh.”
Rogue: “How else was that going to go?!”

orangesanddoorhinges  asked:

What do u think would happen if lars went into lions mane

I think that could be one possiblity to save Lars! Steven can come back with Lion and pick him up! (As what would happen to Lars inside Lion’s mane? I’m pretty sure it would be the same as when Steven goes inside)

but i’ve also been thinking- you know how Lion can do the roaring-portal thing?

Well what if (assuming Lars has all Lion’s powers and abilities) he can somehow learn to teleport as well and teleport his way back to earth

littlestartopaz  asked:

What about the humans' reaction to the aliens though? Like, Deoxys is a thing, so can you see some of them going "Are you a Pokemon? Oh! What are your types?! What do you mean you don't know what we mean?"

“please human, slow down, our translators are not fully calibrated yet, could you repeat yourself slower?”

“yeah okay so! questions!!! are you a pokémon? and what is your type?”

“okay human i think i got it this time, no, i am not a pokémon, i have never heard of them! i thought my species were the first aliens you humans made contact with?”

“no no no, pokémon isnt the name of a alien species, its like.., oh how do i put it? see that pidgey over there? yeah, that bipedal feathered blob, yeah the one who just flew away. Thats a pokémon!”

“oh, it must be the translator then! well, I dont think i am a pokémon? at least not the way you put it. im not from this planet, but i am a living creature, if that is what you mean. that is to say- im not a robot”

“no…. thats not quite what i meant either”

“could you elaborate, human?”

“well, pokémon are what we call ALL the creatures on our planet(except us humans) everything living, sometimes even if it is in one sense mechanical or made by humans, is a pokémon! one pokémon is even confirmed to not be from our planet, so its an alien- like you, so you must be a pokémon too, right?”

“an alien pokémon? could you elaborate? i have not heard of humans making contact with other aliens”

“oh yeah its called Deoxys, it came and destroyed some stuff but Rayquaza chased it away or something, i dunno i was like 5 year old then… lemme just find a picture…HERE!”

“h-human thats not a ‘Deoxys’ thats a Thre’ticaton! its one of the most dangerous space faring species on this side of the galaxy!! o-oh no is it still on this planet? its not safe! they can completley destroy a ship and regenerate whenever they get hurt! that Rayquray-thing, if it chased it away, its just gone to regeneratre! WE NEED TO LEAVE THIS PLANET THIS INSTANT, ITS NOT SAFE, IT MIGHT HAVE GONE BACK TO GET MORE”

“its not-”

“NOT BE FOOLISH, YOU HUMANS BARELEY HAVE SPACETRAVEL AND THIS THING HAS DESTROYED FLEETS, ITS NOT SAFE HERE”

“some 12 year old caught it like 5 years ago, its no threat”

“what”

anonymous asked:

Heyho Maddox! So I need advice. I'm a 12 year old artist. Everyone in school refer me as a "young artist" and I love drawing. It's my passion. But, my parents aren't supporting me and tend to get mad at me everytime I want to draw. They want me to stop and be a doctor but I don't want to. I want to be a successful artist like you. Help please?

My parents didn’t really supported me being an artist till I was 18 (when I decided to do art for good). But I understand why they push us to do something else besides art. They worry and they know its an unstable/unpredictable job. 

You are also really young at the moment. When I was your age, I wanted to be a Fashion Designer or a Veterinarian but ended up doing Animation because believe me when I say ART is just a general term of so many other specialisations that you have to consider.

Its just like if you wanna be a doctor, what kind of doctor you wanna be. Same applied with art, what kind of art based job you wanna pursue? I am currently studying animation but I like illustration very much. And there are a lot more like graphic design, interior design, fashion design, comic artist, and etc. So you do need to do more research and put more thought on what you really want focus on for art.

I will also be very real with you since you are considering this as your future and job. Art is something you really need to love and have 100% passion in doing because there are a lot of factors like rejections, criticisms and conflicts that may make you feel like shit.

If you are very sure if you are gonna give art your all, then go for it. Convince your parents in every way possible because thats ONE of the few conflicts that you need to over come. Its like an endless battle when it comes to the creative industry. Do what you strongly believe in. 

Convince yourself before you convince others.

House Rules

So for those of you that are spirit keepers/companions, or are spirit workers of any frequency, you may know a bit about house rules. Now keep in mind, you don’t need to have house rules. Some don’t find that they need them, some prefer not to have them. I choose to have a set of house rules because I find that for me, it helps bring a little peace and harmony to my house, and that if anything did go wrong, I have something to refer to. Anyone in my house, be it astral being, spirit or entity, from white arts to dark arts to black arts, is expected to follow these rules while they are part of my household/in my house.

These are my house rules. Feel free to use them if you like, modify them, add/subtract as you see fit. I have had a lot of success with these so far, and no incidents. Depending on who is in your family/keep/court, you may need to add rules, or subtract them. But these are what work for me & my family. What is in bold is my actual rule, and then I will expand upon the rule if I see fit.

1. Never harm or show disrespect to myself, my significant other, any other member of my family, friends or welcome household guests. This is obvious… I don’t want any of my spirit family hurting each other, nor do I want them hurting any human or animal that is welcome in my house.

2. Never harm any children or pets.

3. Never show yourself to anyone besides myself in your true form, unless your true form is something that would not scare them. (Example: If it is a child, appear as something child friendly.) I have a few not so pleasant looking family members, or some beings that in their true form are pretty terrifying. I wouldn’t want them showing themselves to a child or an adult.

4. Sexual contact is only welcome with me and will not be permitted with anyone else. Basically just don’t go touching my boyfriend or anyone else, they don’t appreciate it. 

5. No physical manifestations at work in front of anyone but myself. Patients and coworkers are not to know about you. Some of you may not need this, but I work with the public and don’t need a spirit manifestation scaring patients away.

6. Protect yourself at all times. If something comes up and I can do something about it, I will help. 

7. Do not hamper with communication. This covers and includes communication between yourselves, or with me. If I am working specifically with one or with one group, I don’t need anyone else butting in and hampering that communication. Wait until I am done.

8. Do your part for the highest good of the household, including all spirits, entities, astral beings & other. All living people, spirits, entities, astral beings & other shall work at living together peacefully. Bullying wont be tolerated, if you have an issue, contact me.

9. We work as a team, with me being the team leader. If you have suggestions, tell me. If you are unsure to my wishes, ask me or look within. If they have doubts about something, my family is always welcome to “look within” for my wishes, if I am for some reason unavailable to ask. 

10. No twisting my words.

11. No lying. Do not pretend to be something/someone you are not. Do not make anything up to make someone else look bad.

12. Disarm malicious magic that is sent my way by someone else or that is around by circumstance.

13. Keep watch over property & always be ready to act against any pending issue.

14. Help identify any possible conflicts. Help judge the character of people, spirits, entities, astral beings & other around us. This has actually been a useful rule in several situations. Its really two rules condensed into one, as well, but its how I have it written in my notebook.

 Thats it! They are fairly long, but also fairly basic, and cover the essentials. Most rules are pretty obvious, but I would rather state the obvious then regret not stating the obvious later on. Again, this is just what I use for my house rules (its nice to have a digital copy on here as well) - you can use them if you like, add/remove rules as needed. & if you don’t do spirit work, or have spirits in your regular household, you don’t even need to have this.

Enjoy!

Types of Overwatch Players
  • The Semi Casual: You're an average gamer whose here to have fun but still wouldn't mind wining. Maybe you just want a new loot box, maybe you've been invited to a friend's rad new custom game-whatever the reason, you have time off from work or school and need to unwind. If you need to play healer, you'll play healer. Your team could use a second tank? You can play Widowmaker the next game right? You're comfortable with almost all game modes but will dive into Competitive if you're feeling confident. Your POTG is a welcome surprise and something you likely worked to earn through teamwork.(Possible Mains: Lucio, Orisa, Zarya)
  • The Glory Hound: You have one objective and it's definitely not the one you're supposed to be defending. You want your Play Of the Game and anyone who steals your kills is getting cussed out in the group chat. You could care less about team composition, you have your main and anyone who tells you to switch is just jealous of your awesome skills. Similar to The Single Player, teamwork is not your priority as everyone is just a pawn to your inevitable success. Your team winning is cool and all, but what you really want is for YOU to be the winner. You are a monster in Competitive but in the worst possible ways. (Possible Mains: Bastion, Hanzo)
  • The Sore Loser: You define unreliable. You may as well change your last name to Left The Game, because that's what you're always fucking doing. If a team isn't upholding to your standards, you'll ditch before you even see the inside of your spawn room. If any of your teammates are any less than three stars, they don't deserve the right to brush screen names with you. And if you choose to stay with a team the whole way, you BETTER be winning or else you're out. Despite your incredibly selective choice of teammates, your friend list is completely empty and you scoff at anyone who dares send you one.(Possible Mains: Symmetra, Hanzo)
  • The Party Goer: You're here to have fun. "It's just a game" has been hardwired into your code as you don't do jack shit for your team, you're more concerned about showing off your new emote in the heat of battle. You're a talkative fella with a whole wheel of the most grating voice lines your character currently has. Who cares if you win? At least you'll be in a hilarious pose in all of the kills cams. Your teammates may admire your casual nature, though you're so casual that you've become an inconvenience. Yeah, you'll get eliminations every once in awhile but it's only because no one laugh emoted back at you yet and you have ten seconds left to move this truck (Possible Mains: Junkrat, D.Va, Winston)
  • The Grudge Holder: You are out for blood, my friend, and it's rooted in a deep, personal hatred from a certain someone on the enemy team. Your worst enemy is the kill cam because it has the audacity to catch an image of you dying and forever cementing your target throughout the rest of the game. Fuck your team, you want to get even with that one Pharah who blew you up from across the map. And that McCree who had the nerve to shoot a Deadye in your direction? He's screwed once you get out of spawn. Your teammates have been spanning Group Up for five minutes straight but you're still waiting for that bullshit Symmetra to show back up so you can kill her again and teabag the corpse. (Possible Mains: Widowmaker, Roadhog, Mei)
  • The Single Player: You are a lone wolf through and through, here to carry your team with a twenty player kill streak with a single use of your Ultimate. You're the guy who rushes into enemy lines without a plan, relying on your own bravado to keep you alive before you're spamming for heals half way across the map. You're likely oblivious to what you're supposed to be defending...Or are you attacking this time? Nah, doesn't matter! You got your main before anyone else did so you get to show off your rad skills. God help anyone playing healer. (Possible Mains: Genji, Soldier 76, Reaper)

people don’t talk about modern!newsies headcanons enough like 


-they work at Barnes and Noble
-Katherine is an aspiring author/literature student who really loves her maxi skirts and Pinterest

-Davey takes up a part time job to help his parents pay the bills but he gets stuck babysitting Les so he sets him free in the children’s department of the store-
-Jack totally runs an aesthetic blog 

-that’s full of lots of pictures of nature
-and stills from old western movies
-the lodging house is probably a foster group home 

-store manager Wiesel overworking them and cutting their hours

-Spot Conlon works at like Books-A-Million on the other side of the mall
-Jack Kelly in skinny jeans, a flannel, and a beanie
-I’m putting it out there that Crutchie and Davey are total theatre geeks and probably cried watching Les Mis together or something

Think about it this way:
  • Jace: I got laid in my sixth book
  • Will: it only took me three
  • Julian: armatures, one.
  • Me: that's all good and well but..
  • Will: knew Tesss for several months and when it happened, they thought it would probably be the last nonviolent touch she ever would feel as she would be with Mortmain who planned to rape her and torture her into doing whatever he wants. It was One night of love and gentleness for her to hold onto.
  • Jace: knew clary for about a year and a half and I would say he was only himself and not avoiding her because incest is wrong for about half of that so 3-4 months and on that might they were more than likely going to die the next day.
  • Julian: knew Emma for about 16 years, she had almost died and he with her. They have raised children together. They have suffered unimaginable loss and survived extreme trauma and trials together.
  • Me: So now let see who really 'got lucky' first.
  • Jace: is in love with clary about 4 months
  • Will: is in love with Tess for about 5 months
  • Julian: is in love with Emma for about 5 years AND that was also the evening of his first kiss.
  • And just because: Jem had to wait 153 years.
Dish Nation Interview
  • Chuey Martinez: Who's your biggest girl or guy crush of all time? Who is it and why?
  • Chyler: *points to Floriana*
  • Floriana: My gosh, I don't know, this is hard.
  • Flo: *turns to Chyler and points at her* Her
  • Chy: *still pointing to Flo* That one!
  • Flo: *points at herself* Flo-Lo
  • Chy: Flo-Lo!
  • Flo: I mean- I would say, I don't know, I kinda like this one. *locks arms with Chyler*
  • [Insert literal gazing into each other's eyes]: *Also lot's of Chyler looking at Flo in certain ways*
  • CM: Alright, I like that
  • Flo: Yeah
  • Chy: We're not going to lie
  • Flo: We're not going to lie, we match pretty well
  • Chy: We're not going to lie
  • CM: Yes you do. Ying and Yang
  • Chy: That's right
  • Flo: Yeah
  • CM: Perfect
  • [Insert even more gazing]:
  • Chy: Yeah, that's right
  • [Insert an small pause of just Chy and Flo looking at each other]:
  • CM: ... They're having a moment, alright
  • Flo: *laughing*
  • Chy: *pat's Chuey's back* And you are too
  • CM: I'm just here hanging out, they're having a moment
  • Chy: We're just gazing adoringly
  • Flo: *slightly inaudible* gazing(?)
  • Chy: as our significant others are probably watching going "KISS HER!"

Fixing Septiplier

I saw this tweet and, yes, I can kinda agree.

People say its because Mark and Jack aren’t friends anymore, and I think thats not the case.

They still are friends, a lot, there are some parts in the livestream where they smile and talk to each other, but the thing is.

Its done where they’re not in the spotlight.

For example, Mark and Jack were tossing the toilet paper to each other and they were smiling at each other, but the camera men didn’t put them on the spotlight.

Also, Mark told Jack something and a big smile went on Jack’s face, but they were in the background, and the camera weren’t on them the whole time.

Mark and Jack always fueled the Septiplier ship back then and why don’t they do it now?

Well maybe they’re scared too?

Because back then:

The Septiplier ship was smaller, and people didn’t ship it as hardcore as they do now. They used to ship it as Mark and Jack did, in a silly, cute way.

But later on, people shipped it to a level that Mark and Jack never expected/wanted-

What I mean is smut, and people who believe they’re gay and they do love each other romantically.

Shippers who don’t ship it that way, or at least still know Septiplier won’t happen still [smut shippers], don’t worry, this isn’t completely your fault. I’m a shipper myself, so I know.

Like, do you really want drawings of you naked with a friend on the internet, especially when you’re as popular as them?

No, why would you?


Honestly, I think they might actually still wanna make those Septiplier moments keep going like they used to, but maybe they’re scared it’ll blow up and the shippers will take it too far?

It seems likely because,

it has happened.

They do sonething cute, it blows up, and now its madness and nobody can calm down.

Because if you’ve ever noticed, if you look at a Septiplier moment, its clear they’re extremely happy in each and every one.

But now they have to be cautious at every move they do on camera or else things will go nuts.

I don’t think they’re trying to sink the ship, I think they’re trying to make it back to the way it is.

But before you say “Then why don’t they just say they want the ship to calm down so they can be silly again?”

Well of course, THATS going to blow up. It doesn’t matter whether they giggle at each other or they actually do something cute, it’ll blow up either way. Its like some crazy curse. Literally, anything that includes Mark and Jack, there’s always someone going “OMG SEPTIPLIER AWAY, THEY LOVE EACH OTHER!!!” Like, come on dude, these are real people who don’t love each other romantically. Let them be them. Everything doesn’t have to be Septiplier. Why can’t it be just two friends being friends?

And just so people know, thinking Mark and Jack are actually gay, even though having girlfriends, IS NOT AN OPINION. NOT IN THIS SITUATION. ITS JUST WRONG.

There’s a difference between a fact and an opinion. And Mark and Jack being straight is a fact. They have girlfriends, who are each wonderful people, but they ALWAYS, constantly state they’re straight, they are NOT attracted to men. They are straight and have amazing ladies as their girlfriend and if you can’t respect that, then I don’t think you should be here. Think about it. (Thank you to anyone who said about Mark and Jack stating they’re straight constantly)

And if it gets to the point where Mark or Jack have to make a video on this topic, thats it. We can’t fix it then. Because if its so effective on their lives that they have to tell millions about it, is not only dissapointing, but clearly fuckin shows our fandom can’t control ships.

Because Mark and Jack are not the ones changing.

The Septiplier ship is changing, and not in a good way. We fucked up. They didn’t.


And how do we fix it?

Well, Septiplier is huge, A LOT of people ship it. Its literally the second most searched option when you type ‘Sep’ in the YouTube search bar.

And it won’t be something we can do overnight. Its going to be a slow process.

There’s a lot of us and we have to all agree.

We can’t just lay around, waiting until everything gets better. WE need to be that something that brings the ship back to the light.

The Septiplier ship ran into a harsh, big storm and we have to work together to get it out onto the right path.

I want this ship to how it started, where everybody shipped it for fun, and we didn’t attack other ships. Not saying all of us attack other ships, its just some Septiplier shippers actually do attack, I’ve seen it.

Because the more smut and hardcore shippers that join this ship, the more Mark and Jack have to be cautious.


AND THEY’RE ALREADY PRETTY FAR APART AND CAUTIOUS.

They’re not sinking the ship.

They’re warning us to fuckin fix ourselves and the flaws of this ship, before its too late.

And honestly, Septiplier isn’t just a ship anymore, its a community that needs some fixing. Its also a place where Mark and Jack fans join together. Because Mark and Jack have a beautiful bond thats brought their communities together. And lets not break that bond.

Because Whats better?

Don’t do anything and Mark and Jack grow farther apart on camera.

Or fix our ship, bring it back to the light, and have Mark and Jack be able to have things normal again.

Now, how?

Well, all hardcore [smut, sex related] shippers and people who believe they’re gay have to stop. (Or keep the smut as far away as possible)

Its not right or polite and Mark and Jack wouldn’t appreciate or even consider you a fan at all if you continue.

Ship Septiplier as a bromance, or in a fluffy cute way, nothing too extreme like sex, or kinky shit.

I know this isn’t how Mark and Jack really act with each other, they most likely do a bunch of shit together off camera where we don’t ruin their fun.

We can fix this ship.

We just have to try.

I want Septiplier to become peaceful and happy again.

Because Jack used to be a fan of Mark. He started his channel because of Mark.

And even though they’re on different parts of the world, Mark managed to find a worthy person on YouTube who derserves so much more. And that was Jack.

They’ve been through a lot, from meeting in person for the first time, becoming great friends, to having a happy little ship.

Lets bring it back to those times. Mark and Jack don’t need to change. We need to.

Lets bring the happiness back in Septiplier.

And ships like Jelix or Pewdieplier, don’t become like this ship, don’t go too far. Don’t make YouTubers become seperate by their own fans.

Mark and Jack have done so much for us, now lets do something for them.


I know we can do this.

Lets fix Septiplier.

Update: For Cringemas I wasn’t able to watch the first part but I saw that Mark and Jack agreed Septiplier as a ship was pretty bad this year in that part. And that right there is why we need to fix this ship. They know this ship is getting worse. If 2016 was Septiplier’s bad year, lets makes 2017 Septiplier’s rebirth into the light. Thanks to everybody who wants this ship better, I appreciate it so much! Now I know we can really do this. In 2017, we’ll fix Septiplier. Together. [Lol a PS: I understand the people who say that we should let septiplier die, but remember they’re are still fans and hard-core shippers who will start drama and shit. I wish it can be that easy, but right now, fixing the ship and opening people’s eyes seems like the best option, thank you💕]
If BTS was a reality show Pt. 3

Jin: / in the confession booth/ So I’ve called some of the girls over for tea..since you know how us moms can be. I always enjoy spilling tea with my girls and also catching up with each other.

Originally posted by jjilljj

Suho: /pours vodka into his tea/

Key: I see you’ve started drinking again

Suho: And I see you’re still fake af

Originally posted by qrishan

Jinyoung: Hey now..lets not fight..we’re here to relax and have a good time 

Originally posted by periwin5les

N: Wow Jin you’re glowing whats got you all happy?

Jin: Oh me and joonies anniversary is this week and i’m just really excited thats all

Originally posted by myloveseokjin

Suho:/ Triggered/ oh it must be nice..at least you still have a husband that’ll come home to you

Originally posted by bemineinseoul

N :Oh honey /rubs his back/

Originally posted by shit-vixx-say

Suho: that bitch left me without saying goodbye

Key : /rolls his eyes/ every single time 

Jinyoung:/starts tearing up/

Originally posted by holyfuckmark

Jin : oh whats wrong with you?

Jinyoung: one of my youngest…bambam…he dabbed for a whole year straight /bursts into tears/ that boy just won’t stop and its driving me crazy

Jin;/ hugs him as he cries/ my youngest won’t spend time with me 

Key: Honestly all of my kids are doing great…they’re either acting, modeling or singing /flips his hair/

Suho:/glares/ Well hoe your bank ain’t doing too good from what I’ve heard

Key: The way I spend my  money is my business  and only my business..the only thing you need to worry about is which one of your sons is going to leave you next

Originally posted by rin-the-kpopper

Jin: Damn key you don’t have to bring it that far…not cool

Suho: No no Jin let the dog speak

Key: /chokes on his tea/ Dog? tf…did this bitch just call me a damn dog

Originally posted by kagayakimasu

Suho: hell yes I just did the fuck you gonna do about it

Key: THATS IT /jumps over the table and tackles suho onto the floor fighting/

Jin: NOOOOO, NOT MY GOOD CHINA / gets up to check on his fine china/

Cameracrew:/ runs in to break up the fight/

Jhope :/watching from a distance smoking his weed/ Now that is what I call good tea

Originally posted by cyyphr

N:/secretly shoving cookies into his bag/

Originally posted by muunstahhx

Jinyoung:/helping the crew break up the fight/

Jin:/In the confession booth/ And that was tea time…amazing wasn’t it…we plan on meeting next week for brunch

Originally posted by chimchams

anonymous asked:

Does Victor wax? Maybe he does it one day to surprise the hell out of Yuuri and he's stunned by how SOFT Victor's skin is? (Then again, he has enough products to ensure he'll never have a single patch of dry skin). Yuuri just touches him without meaning to at the most inopportune, unexpected times. Victor's in a pair of loose sweatpants, pouring coffee, and then Yuuri's hands are suddenly past his waistband, sliding down his thighs, and cupping him. And that's why they need a new coffee machine.

“Why did you do that?!”

“I—You just looked so soft!”

“I was making coffee!”

“I wanted to surprise you! You know. In a… sexy way.”

“Well, in retrospect it was sexy, but I think ‘surprise’ won out.”

Mila likes to joke that they’re one mind split into two separate bodies, and Yuuri can’t really blame her for thinking that when he and Victor give identical grimaces and turn, as one, to look at the window. The window which now has a coffee maker-shaped hole in it. 

“Maybe nobody was there when it hit the ground,” Yuuri tries, except he can’t even make it sound believable to his own ears. The resulting crash was pretty spectacular. 

Victor gives him a half-smile, half-rictus of disbelief and says cheerfully, “You never know!”

As if on cue, from the street below comes a sound so terrifying, so horrible that Yuuri is suddenly eight years old and peeking from behind the sofa where Mari and some friends are watching The Thing. He almost grabs Victor by the arm and shouts for him to run before realizing that a man’s decapitated head isn’t mutating into a spider. 

“MY CAR!! YOU DESTROYED MY CAR!! YOU TWO FUCKING IDIOTS GET YOUR ASSES DOWN HERE RIGHT NOW!!” 

Yuuri doesn’t have to look out the window to know that Yakov Feltsman is currently scarier than a human chest that grows teeth and rips someone’s arms off. 

Yuuri throws a crazed look at Victor, who mirrors it. “Or it didn’t hit the ground at all. Victor!”

“It’s not my fault I was caught unawares when you so callously molested me!”

“’Unawares’? Who are you, my great aunt? The first thing you said this morning was ‘I shaved everywhere, Yuuri, you should make sure I didn’t miss a spot’—Wait, that’s the defense you’re going with? I didn’t do anything that you don’t do to me on a nearly constant basis!” Yuuri hisses, because seriously? Last week Victor felt him up in broad daylight. At the grocery store. In the baby aisle. While a mother and her three children watched in horror as Victor loudly proclaimed that he was going to do whatever it took for Yuuri to get pregnant. 

Yuuri flaps a hand at the window. “Go down and apologize!”

With a gasp that any regency heroine would be proud of, Victor presses a shocked hand to his heart and physically recoils. “You’d just casually send me to my own death? I thought you loved me! You took a vow!”

“He’s practically your father!”

“He likes you better!”

“Look, we don’t have a lot of time,” Yuuri says, doffing his ‘only adult in this flat’ cap and shooting an uneasy glance at the window. It’s gotten suspiciously quiet outside. “We’ll both go down, but you talk first. Butter him up and then I’ll sneak in an apology. But we have to do it before it’s too—”

It’s worse than seeing The Thing at eight years old. It’s worse than seeing Sinister at 23 and not sleeping for almost three weeks straight. The door slowly opens with a skin-crawling, drawn out moan, and a stout shadowy figure stands in the doorway, unmoving, but with waves of palpable rage wafting from it.

“—late.”

The horrors that follow are too terrible to write them here, but in the end, they get a new coffeemaker for their flat, replace the window in the kitchen, and buy a Tesla Model S AWD in ‘Red Multicoat’ for Yakov. 

2

the bar was dodgy, someplace none of the Volturi would come looking for you. you needed time to relax. to get away from everything… thats when you bumped into someone.

the familiar guy turned around and you found yourself looking into Demetri’s eyes. “what are you doing here?” you hissed, shocked to find a Volturi this high up on the chain in a dive bar like this.

“same thing as you.” he answered, “getting away.”

“well one of us has to leave.” you stated.

“or we could just head back together.” he suggested.

you looked at this man you thought you knew. he was in no way acting like the Demetri you regularly encountered at the castle. he was loose, calm looking and he didnt stand like a military-like man would. then you noticed his eyes. brown eyes. 

contacts.

maybe he wasnt such an evil-blood sucking monster after all.