well that's just ducky

Ducky: Hey, Daddy?

Me: Yes, Ducky?

Ducky: That’s a lot of leash.

Me: It’s two leashes.

Ducky: Seems like a lot.

Me: Only one more than usual. 

Ducky: Feels like twice as much.

Me: That is also correct.

Ducky: Math.

Me:

Ducky: It’s because last time I de-leashed, isn’t it?

Me: Yup.

Ducky: I got excited.

Me: I know.

Ducky: I like rides.

Me: Yup.

Ducky: I like being places.

Me: Yup.

Ducky: It can cause me to get a bit twisty.

Me: Also a yup.

Ducky: So double leash?

Me: Makes me feel safer.

Ducky: And if you feel safer you’ll take me on rides and to places.

Me: When I can.

Ducky: Double leash is okay then.

Me: I’m glad. Oh and one more thing.

Ducky: What?

Me: If anyone asks, you’re a dingo.

Ducky: What?

Me: Never mind.

Ducky: I love you, Daddy.

Me: I love you, Ducky.

Me: Hey, Ducky. Do you know what today is?

Ducky: Yes. The present day, time, or age; this day; the present time.

Me: Technically you are correct. But do you know specifically what makes this day special?

Ducky: I do believe today is Extra Treat Day.

Me: Not at all.

Ducky: According to my calendar it is.

Me: You don’t have a calendar.

Ducky: Which explains why we missed it last year. 

Me: Today is National Adopt A Shelter Pet Day!

Ducky: Hey! I was a shelter pet!

Me: That is correct!

Ducky: However should we celebrate?

Me:

Ducky:

Me:

Ducky: Hey! I have an idea!

Me: Is the idea that you and I should post a conversation where we remind everyone that shelter pets are awesome and that anyone who wants a pet should always look to see if a shelter pet is right for them?

Ducky:

Me:

Ducky: That was not my idea.

Me: But?

Ducky: But it’s a pretty good one. If all the pets in shelters had homes like this they’d be happier.

Me: And the people that adopted them would be happier.

Ducky: Did adopting me make you happier?

Me: Yup!

Ducky: I knew that was going to be your answer. But if you’re going to post this it’s helpful for you to verbalize your inner monologue so the reader…

Me: No need to pull the curtain back so far, Ducky.

Ducky: Dilutes the message?

Me: A bit.

Ducky: Stay on topic? 

Me: When possible.

Ducky: How about a slogan?

Me: Okay.

Ducky: Celebrate National Adopt A Ducky Day: Being Adopted Is Quite A Treat!

Me:

Ducky: It’s a call back. Shelter pets are famous for call backs.

Me: I love you, Ducky.

Ducky: I love you, Daddy.

Me: Hey, Duck…

Ducky: HAPPY DADDY’S DAY!!

Me: Aw, thanks, Ducky. Hey…

Ducky: Is it “Daddy’s” Day, like “the day belongs to Daddy?” or is it “Daddies Day” like “a day to celebrate all Daddies?”

Me: Not sure. Hey, Duck…

Ducky: The Lady wasn’t clear when she told me it was Daddy’s Day again. The seven years since the last one sure did fly by.

Me: Yes. So, Duck…

Ducky: See because seven years…

Me: Yes. Dog years. Always clever. Anyway, you…

Ducky: You know it’s actually a little dark. Because the whole seven years thing is because a dog’s life span…

Me: Yes, I l know. Do you also know that you’re lying on my…

Ducky: HEY, WANT YOUR PRESENT!?

Me:

Ducky:

Me: You got me a present?

Ducky: Yes.

Me:

Ducky:

Me: Is it a pillow?

Ducky:

Me:

Ducky: How did you guess?

Me: Is it MY pillow?

Ducky:

Me:

Ducky: You’re good

Me:

Ducky: Or did The Lady tell?

Me: Ducky, you’re lying on it.

Ducky: I resent the implication. And I believe the correct phrase would be that I am lying ABOUT it.

Me: No. You’re lying on the pillow.

Ducky:

Me:

Ducky: Well I couldn’t wrap it. No thumbs. And it would have taken over seven…

Me: You’re lying ABOUT it being a present now that I caught you.

Ducky:

Me: ...

Ducky: Technically you are correct. But it’s the thought that counts.

Me: Uh huh.

Ducky: They say you should get someone something you would like to get yourself

Me: Uh huh. And you do like my pillows.

Ducky: That’s no lie.

Me: I love you, Ducky.

Ducky: I love you, Daddy. Happy Daddy’s Day.

Ag & Ducky

Remember that weekly Ducky posts go up every Sunday at 7:00 pm ET!

Ducky: Hey. The Lady is here. 

Me: Yup. She’s keeping us company while you get your bath.

Ducky: Sicko.

Me: No. She knows you don’t like baths so she’s here to provide support.

Ducky: I could use some support getting out of this tub. Slippery.

Me: Moral support.

Ducky: Ah.

Me:

Ducky: Going to make me ask?

Me: “Moral support” means she’s here to let us know that she cares about us while we deal with a challenging time.

Ducky:

Me:

Ducky: So she just stands there while I suffer?

Me: Technically, yes,

Ducky: And she knows I’m unhappy?

Me: It’s quite clear, yes.

Ducky: But she’s making sure we know that she knows I’m unhappy?

Me:

Ducky: Sicko. 

Me: Be nice and maybe she’ll give you a treat afterwards.

Ducky: My forgiveness can not be bought with a treat.

Me:

Ducky: Rented, but not bought.

Me: Fair enough.

Ducky: And don’t think I didn’t notice that whole “we” thing you said. As if you’re dealing with a challenging time now too.

Me: Giving you a bath is not the most pleasant experience.

Ducky: You’re in my thoughts and prayers.

Me: See!? That’s moral support!

Ducky: Great. The only way this would be a challenging time for both of us is if after this the Lady gave YOU a bath. How would you like that?

Me:

Ducky:

Me: Sounds quite pleasant, actually.

Ducky:

Me:  …

Ducky: Couple of sickos.

Me: I love you, Ducky.

Ducky: I love you, Daddy.

Ag & Ducky

Me: Hey, Ducky.

Ducky: You can’t see me.

Me: Actually…

Ducky: I am camouflaged beyond all detection.

Me: Your nose is behind a towel.

Ducky:

Me:

Ducky: Completely imperceptible to human eyes.

Me:

Ducky: “Where’s Ducky?” they ask.

Me:

Ducky: “No one knows,” the universe whispers!

Me:

Ducky:

Me:  You’re still getting a bath.

Ducky: “No…one…knows!”

Me: I love you, Ducky.

Ducky: I love you, Daddy.

Ag & Ducky

Ducky: Hey, Daddy.

Me: Hey, Ducky. Did you have a dream?

Ducky:

Me:

Ducky: How did you know that?

Me: You were muttering in your sleep.

Ducky: Ah.

Me: And your piddies were twitching.

Ducky: It was quite a dream.

Me: Were you dreaming that I was stepping on you?

Ducky:

Me:

Ducky: How did you know that?

Me: Magic.

Ducky:

Me: I love you, Ducky.

Ducky: I love you, Daddy.

Me: It makes you smell better.

Ducky:

Me: And you’ll be less itchy.

Ducky:

Me: And actually the wet look is a bit slimming…

Ducky: Then you should hop all the way in, tubby.

Me:

Ducky: I don’t care for baths and it causes me to lash out.

Me: I am aware.

Ducky: Just rinse me, old man.

Me: I love you, Ducky.

Ducky: I love you, Daddy.

Ducky: That’s my food.

Me: Yes it is.

Ducky:

Me:

Ducky: I don’t see how putting my food in zippy bags makes much sense. I can’t open zippy bags.

Me: I know.

Ducky: You know why?

Me: Yes. No thumbs.

Ducky: No thumbs!

Me: The Lady’s Sister has thumbs. That’s a prerequisite for watching you while we’re gone.

Ducky: You’re going somewhere?

Me: We’ve been packing all day. 

Ducky: Oh. I got distracted.

Me: By me putting your food in bags.

Ducky: By you putting my food in bags.

Me: I understand.

Ducky: Why put it in bags? Is The Lady’s Sister scoop averse?

Me: Not to the best of my knowledge, no. But this way I can make sure your medicine is dosed correctly for each day without her worrying about it. 

Ducky: Thanks.

Me: And I can make sure you get the right amount of food each day.

Ducky:

Me:

Ducky: But how do you know how hungry I’m going to be each day?

Me: I tend to assume you’re going to be very hungry.

Ducky: Good call.

Me: But still, the same amount each day.

Ducky:

Me:

Ducky: You don’t eat the same amount each day.

Me: No. And we’ve both seen the impact of that tendency.

Ducky: You seem happy?

Me:

Ducky: If I say heavy you’re not going to add any extra food in that baggie so I’m sticking with happy.

Me: Good call.

Ducky: I’m going to miss you.

Me: I’m going to miss you too, Duck. But we’ll be back soon. 

Ducky: Okay. Which day is that bag for?

Me: This is for Wednesday evening.

Ducky:

Me:

Ducky: I have a feeling I’ll be a extra active that day. Better add a little bit more.

Me: Why are you going to be more active on Wednesday?

Ducky:

Me:

Ducky: I plan to miss you extra on Wednesday.

Me:

Ducky:

Me: A little extra for Wednesday.

Ducky: I love you, Daddy,

Me: I love you too, Ducky.

Ducky: What’s going on?

Me: It’s Halloween, Ducky!

Ducky: Okay then.

Me: There are gravestones! Spoopy!

Ducky: Where?

Me: In the camera.

Ducky: Okay. 

Me:

Ducky: I just realized I have more questions.

Me: What are gravestones? Why would they be floating in mid air? How are they exactly “in the camera?”

Ducky: Those are good questions.

Me: Not your questions?

Ducky: Nope.

Me: Your questions?

Ducky: Is it dinner time?

Me: Not yet. Your other questions?

Ducky: They’re going to sound a lot like the other one.

Me: “Is it dinner time yet?”

Ducky: I say, “Yes!”

Me: No. I mean was that your question?

Ducky: Was what my question?

Me: “Is it dinner time yet?”

Ducky: I say, “Yes!”

Me:

Ducky: First base!

Me: I love you, Ducky.

Ducky: I love you, Daddy.

Happy Halloween, Spoopy Buddies! See you next week!

Ag & Ducky

Ducky: Daddy?

Me: Yes, Ducky.

Ducky: That was a long walk.

Me: You like walkies!

Ducky:

Me:

Ducky: That was an abnormally long walk at an unusual time of day.

Me:

Ducky: And what does “Just another stupid Rattata” mean?

Me: Funny you should ask. Dont…move…

Ducky: After a walk that long, not an issue.

Me: I love you, Ducky.

Ducky: I love you, Daddy.

Me: I should probably get up.

Ducky: Is it dinner time?

Me: No.

Ducky:

Me:

Ducky: Need to go potty?

Me: Nope.

Ducky:

Me: We’ve just been lying here a long time.

Ducky: We’ve been lying here a long time because it is pleasant.

Me: Correct.

Ducky: At the moment it seems no less pleasant than it has been.

Me: Also true.

Ducky: So in absence of food or going potty I see no benefit to getting up. Keep scratching me.

Me: I have work I need to do for my job though.

Ducky:

Me:

Ducky: Work that is more pleasant than lying here?

Me: No.

Ducky:

Me: Work that will lead to food?

Ducky: Only when taking the long view.

Me:

Ducky: Keep scratching. When the food comes into close view, go ahead and get up.

Me: I love you, Ducky.

Ducky: I love you, Daddy.

Special Announcement! Starting tomorrow we will begin reposting some of Ducky’s most popular posts every day for the next week! If you think your followers might like our conversations it will be a great week to let them know about “Well, That’s Just Ducky!” We hope you’ll reblog any posts that you especially enjoy and as always we love hearing why the posts speak to you. Write a comment when you reblog, add a few telling tags, or send us a message.

Thanks as always for following and for your friendship and support!

Ag & Ducky

Me: Hey, Ducky…

Ducky: Don’t talk to me.

Me: Oh, stop. We’re just watching Lola for the weekend.

Ducky: Two cats in this house! Two cats!

Me: I know.

Ducky: A group of two dogs is called a pack. You know what a group of two cats is called?

Me:

Ducky: Twice as many cats punching me in the face as usual.

Me: That’s pretty good math for you. Good job.

Ducky: Don’t talk to me.

Me: And they’re more swats than punches.

Ducky:

Me:

Ducky: Come here. I’m going to swat you in the face.

Me: Thank you, no. You have claws. Scooter and Lola don’t so it doesn’t really hurt.

Ducky: Oh! I had no idea that was the benchmark. If it doesn’t hurt it’s okay to do, huh? Well then I know a Daddy who is going to be waking up to some half eaten socks that, not to worry, will be completely pain free.

Me: Stop.

Ducky: We’re living in a society, Daddy. And no o culture can survive an unfettered influx of cats. You know what happens when cats take a position of prominence in a society?

Me:

Ducky: Does Egypt ring a bell?

Me:

Ducky: If you want to end up mummified, fine, but I’d like to hold onto the 60% of my body that is water for awhile longer thank you very much.

Me: Wow. There’s a lot to unpack there. Your science was pretty solid for a dog but Egyp…

Ducky: I don’t like cats!

Me: I know, Ducky.

Ducky: There’s nothing good about cats. Nothing! Even their food is mediocre at best.

Me:

Ducky: Or so I hear.

Me: Have you been eating their cat food?

Ducky:

Me:

Ducky: I don’t believe there’s any evidence of that.

Me:

Ducky: Have I mentioned the face punching?

Me: Did you eat their food while I was in the shower?

Ducky:

Me: …

Ducky: I love you, Daddy.

Me: I love you, Ducky.

Me: Duuuuuuucky…

Ducky:

Me: Duuuuuuuuuuucky…

Ducky:

Me: Comfy Duck?

Ducky:

Me: Sleepy Duck?

Ducky:

Me: So sleepy you can’t even hear me?

Ducky:

Me:

Ducky:

Me: Ducky? I think it’s dinner time.

Ducky: Hey, Daddy?

Me: Yes, Ducky?

Ducky: I think it’s dinner time.

Me: I love you, Ducky.

Ducky: I love you, Daddy.

Me: Hey, Ducky. There’s a lot of fuzzy stuffing all over the living room.

Ducky: Shhhh…sleeping.

Me: No, you aren’t. Your eyes are open.

Ducky: No they aren’t. You’re dreaming. 

Me:

Ducky: Or I am. Whichever. Shhhhhh. 

Me: So I think it’s time for kitty to go away.

Ducky:

Me:

Ducky: If you think you can take her then you’re definitely the one dreaming.

Me: Really? Because if I try to take her you’ll do what?

Ducky: You don’t want to know.

Me:

Ducky: Technically you can’t know.

Me: Because?

Ducky:

Me: Because you don’t know?

Ducky: Just sounded good.

Me: Uh huh.

Ducky: Thought it might bide me some time until you woke up.

Me: I’m not asleep.

Ducky: So we have agreed that I am the one asleep!

Me: No we…

Ducky: Shhhhh. Sleeping.

Me:

Ducky: Sleeping comfortably with a perfectly semi-unstuffed kitty right under my neck that only a very mean Daddy would attempt to remove.

Me:

Ducky: I mean, “Zzzzzzzzz.”

Me: You do look comfy. You can keep the kitty until you get up. But then we have to throw her out.

Ducky: Agreed.

Me: Really?

Ducky: Sure.

Me:

Ducky:

Me: Because you’re asleep?

Ducky: And agreements made whilst one party is slumbering are non-binding.

Me:

Ducky: You’ll be laughed out of court. Trying to form a contract with a sleeping dog. You know what they say…

Me: Let sleeping dogs lie?

Ducky

Me:

Ducky: You calling me a liar?

Me: No. It’s the other lie. Like lie down.

Ducky: Ah. Never heard that one.

Me: Really? And yet contract law…

Ducky: “They say” that dogs cannot enter into legally binding contracts when in an unconscious or semi conscious state  as they cannot give willful consent.

Me:

Ducky:

Me: Who is the “they” in this situation?

Ducky: Dog lawyers mainly.

Me:

Ducky: Dog judges.

Me:

Ducky: Canine legal correspondents for major newspapers.

Me:

Ducky: Para-beagles.

Me: That’s enough.

Ducky: I love you, Daddy.

Me: I love you, Ducky.



Ag & Ducky

Ducky: You got me a thing.

Me: Yup. It’s from Hershey. It’s one of the places we went on our vacation.

Ducky: To get me a thing?

Me: Not solely. But while there we did get you a thing.

Ducky: It looks and smells like chocolate.

Me: That’s what they make in Hershey.

Ducky: I know.

Me: How…

Ducky: Doggies can’t have chocolate. Or so you have claimed.

Me: No. But it’s not actually made of chocolate. I think it just smells like that because it was in that town for awhile. 

Ducky: Like how the carpet in this house smells like a cat even though it is not made of cats.

Me:

Ducky: Chocolate smells better.

Me: And it’s only decorated to look like a Hershey bar. 

Ducky: It makes a crunchy noise.

Me: They did that to make it more appealing to dogs.

Ducky: Smart people those Hershey’s.

Me: I guess.

Ducky: But since it’s crunchy shouldn’t they make it look like a Krackel?

Me:

Ducky:

Me: You mean like a Crunch bar?

Ducky: Crunch is from Nestle, not Hershey.

Me:

Ducky: Mr Goodbar could work. Or Hershey’s with almonds.

Me:

Ducky: The crunch could be nuts is what I’m saying.

Me: How…

Ducky: Welcome home, Daddy.

Me:

Ducky: I love you, Daddy.

Me: I love you, Ducky. 

Ducky: Tee hee!

Me: What’s so funny?

Ducky: I tricked The Lady.

Me: How’d you do that?

Ducky: I wanted to be pet. So I flopped down where she was going to lie down before she could get there!

Me:

Ducky: So when she laid down she’d see me and go, “Oh! I should pet Ducky!”

Me:

Ducky: And now she’s petting me!

Me:

Ducky:

Me:

Ducky: Slowly.

Me:

Ducky: And I she’s not scratching me like she usually does.

Me:

Ducky: Did she just lie down on top of me?

Me: Pretty much.

Ducky:

Me:

Ducky: Not petting? Just squooshing?

Me: Yup.

Ducky:

Me:

Ducky: Better than nothing.

Me: I love you, Ducky.

Ducky: I love you, Daddy.

Ag

Follow “Well, That’s Just Ducky!”

Ducky: Daddy, I don’t like baths.

Me: I know, Ducky.

Ducky: I don’t like the noise.

Me: I know. The faucet makes a scary noise. I’m sorry.

Ducky: I know you know. But you still give me baths.

Me: Yeah.

Ducky:

Me:

Ducky: You don’t like giving me baths.

Me: Not really, no.

Ducky: Is it the noise?

Me: It’s more the “Chasing Ducky to get him when he realizes it’s bath time.” And the “Lifting Ducky after he has gone into dead weight mode when I try to lift him into the tub.” And the “Trying to turn Ducky when he won’t let me rinse his other side and get this over with because the faucet makes a scary noise.”

Ducky:

Me:

Ducky: I do not like baths.

Me: No you don’t.

Ducky And you don’t like giving them to me.

Me: Nope.

Ducky: But you keep doing it because I need them.

Me: Yup. Your skin gets all flaky if we don’t do this.

Ducky: I don’t like the flaky skin.

Me: No. That must feel pretty bad.

Ducky: Yeah.

Me:

Ducky: Why don’t you have someone else do it?

Me: Have someone else bathe you? I don’t know. You’re my Ducky dog. So you’re my responsibility. And if someone else did it you’d still be unhappy.

Ducky: And I wouldn’t be able to press up against you when the scary noise came.

Me: Right. So I think I’m the right one to take care of this. I’m sorry you ever have to experience anything that makes you unhappy, Ducky. But if you do, I want to be there with you when it happens.

Ducky:

Me:

Ducky: That sounds like the kind of thing I’d usually say to you.

Me: Maybe I’m finally learning.

Ducky: Thanks for taking care of me, Daddy. Even when I’m difficult.

Me: Thanks for being you, Ducky. Now press up against me nice and hard. it’s rinsing time.

Ducky: I love you, Daddy.

Me: I love you, Ducky.