I am a bit ticked off.
Hello, @garr9988 . You may or may not remember, but I was the first person to respond to your reblog of that Bering & Wells post, in which you called out @ellabellbee . In the Ask I sent to you, I said the following: “Hey man, just FYI, you don’t need to ‘explain’ things to anybody in the B&W fandom, and particularly not to @ellabellbee. We’ve been here a lot longer than you and know what went down just a tiny bit better. For real! Thanks.”
To which you responded publicly, saying that I sounded condescending but that I probably hadn’t meant to. (For the record: meant to, but only a little.) You also said that you “felt the need to correct people” when they held “incorrect beliefs” about things. I didn’t much like your response, I’ll admit, but okay. I said what I said, you said what you said, and you made those words public.
I bring this up only because you deleted my Ask and your
answer: you erased me, and my voice, from the situation. And I don’t often express anger publicly, but erasure is one of the things I REALLY DON’T LIKE.
You say you’re a feminist, and you support that by citing the dictionary definition of feminism. I really, genuinely hope you won’t find it condescending if I point out that dictionary definitions tend not to cover lived experience in its fullness. I’m a feminist too. My lived experience of that—as a gay white woman, one who has spent most of her working life in fields dominated by men—probably gives me a different perspective than yours gives you. Anyway, my lived definition includes the importance of not erasing women’s voices. Maybe take that into consideration the next time you decide, first, to insert your voice into a conversation that is mostly (but of course not completely) among and about women, and second, to mostly disregard, and then delete, what was intended as a friendly warning from a woman who is fully informed about said conversation.
They’re good captains, Bront.