well that got that out of the way

I work at a gas station. I got sick at work a couple days ago (couldn’t call in, I’m literally the only second shifter they have right now) and I get this guy. He comes in to pay for his gas and asks why it took so long to approve his pump. I tell him straight I was throwing up in the bathroom. His response? “Well, I was about to too out in that heat!” Me: *sarcastically* “well I’m sorry I got sick!”

This guy’s a regular. He’s always been somewhat on the rude side, but he reached a new level of asshole that day. I wasn’t in the bathroom more than a couple minutes, and it wasn’t more than 80 degrees out. No way was he anywhere close to throwing up. He just wanted to be an asshole

anonymous asked:

A lot of high profile kickstarter games seem to have been suffocated by "feature creep." The developers had some small core idea when they pitched their kickstarter to the public, got way more money then they expected, thought they could make a much bigger game, then ran out money before they finished even making the proper foundations of their expanded idea. I have to ask, does feature creep kill AAA games as well, and if so how common is it?

So it turns out that making video games is actually really, really hard, and that’s primarily because estimating how long it takes to complete big tasks is not very accurate. The biggest reason for this is because no single part of a game is really on its own. If we want to add or update a big feature like the animation system, it doesn’t just mean we’re affecting the animations in the game. It also means that we are affecting the AI, the riggers, the modelers, the visual effects, the level design, combat design, and all sorts of other things. Also, by taking up a lot of engineering time, it means that other lower-priority engineering tasks would have to be cut. 

I think part of it is that game development scope just isn’t as scalable as people think, and it’s really easy to make a mistake when doing so. It’s a huge pitfall that a lot of experienced developers fall into. Feature creep happens in the AAA space all the time and has killed many projects. One of the most dangerous phrases in game development is “Wouldn’t it be cool if… ?” because it can easily start with something that seems totally innocuous, but balloons to a black hole of resources that is both mission critical and requires an inordinate amount of work to bring to a shippable state. Feature creep accounts for many of the games that were delayed or cancelled, but also just as many games you’ve never heard of that were killed before announcement. Another big sign of feature creep is when a game has had a really long development time, but the finished product still feels rough or unpolished. In such cases, it’s often because the team poured resources into features and content that were cut during development, which left the core experience feeling rough, especially around the spots where the cut content was excised.

One of the biggest flaws with crowdfunding titles specifically is that the feature list and stretch goals are inviolate - in traditional game publishing, almost all features can be cut if they prove to be too expensive or just not working. The publisher understands that this sort of thing can happen and is focused on the big picture - they did not fund the game for its specific features, and will work with the developer to come up with a better solution for the project. Crowdfunding isn’t done this way - the people who put their money up in these games are often doing so for the express purpose of delivering these features, which makes them sacrosanct. If those features end up becoming too expensive, it’s not possible to cut them because they were promised to the backers. This makes feature creep much more dangerous to the crowd funded title, because a bad feature can end up dragging down the entire project.


Got a burning question you want answered?

2

After how popular the first iteration of this flowchart got (thank you all so much for that, by the way, it’s really awesome that it helped so many people out), I was inspired to create a second volume, with even more species and resources than the first. Well, after a month or so of work, it’s finally here! Just in time for the 40th Anniversary of Star Wars: A New Hope, here’s “What Species To Choose For Your Star Wars OC: Volume 2″!

For this new version, I upped the ante with everything. I went from including 75 species to a whopping 150 (which is still only scratching the surface of the full list, I’m afraid), and I tried my best to include more species from “The Clone Wars”, “The Force Awakens”, and “Rogue One” as well. Not only that, but down below I’ve included more resources as well: in addition to each species’ Wookieepedia articles, I’ve provided (where available) videos of the species in action, informational videos, and name generators, all to give you as much info as possible for your OC. Furthermore, among some other minor formatting tweaks, I’ve also added the option to choose answers via dice rolls (thanks to  @empress-only-in-name for that idea), for anyone who would prefer a more random choice in species. Finally, I think it’s also worth mentioning that the wonderful @pomrania re-created the flowchart in a text-based format here, if you’d like to check that out.

Let me know what you all think of the new version! I tried my best to take into account everyone’s requests and suggestions, so hopefully it all worked out to your liking! Do let me know if there’s anything I can add or change, though; it will be a while before I make a Volume 3, if ever, but I’d be happy to tweak this version if it helps. Also, if you end up using this to make a character, please consider either tagging me or using #StarWarsOCFlowchart so I can see it; I don’t care about getting credit or anything, I just want to see what you guys come up with!

Links to resources are below. My original intention was to have them as part of this post, but since Tumblr apparently has a link limit for posts, I had to split them up. I hope this isn’t too much of an inconvenience!

Species A-ISpecies J-RSpecies S-Z

anonymous asked:

Yes! Please continue your mutual pining fic aghhhhalhddkdkhf

Well since you twisted my arm! This is Part 2 of this S3 canon divergence fic. Since I got lots of ask prompts to continue the story expect more as I fill them. Again, these are timed so I can’t get as much story in as I would like but it will all spin out eventually (and be on the archives too) 

T | 1k 


Emma spent the weekend working extra hours. Running down her skips helping her to avoid thinking of other things, things that wore leather and eyeliner. But by Sunday evening she had run out of distractions and found herself wandering the apartment waiting for Henry to return. After the fifth time getting excited by voices in the hall she turned on the TV and the Xbox and did her best to sink into the quest Henry had chosen.  

A half-hour later the door banged open and Henry called “I’m home! Hey, you’re playing without me.”

Emma paused the game and turned to greet her son as he barreled into her on the couch.

“I’m trying to catch up with you,” she said as she tousled his hair. “You have a good time?”

“The best!” He pulled away “I’ll be right back.” As he disappeared into his room Emma heard a faint chuckle and she turned to see Hook standing in the entryway. Her heart did a summersault at the fond look in his eyes as he stared after Henry.

She stood and his gaze shifted to her and the fondness was replaced by something more guarded. They locked eyes for only a moment and then Emma shifted her gaze to Henry’s door.

“Seems like he had a good time.” Her voice was flat and she hated it.

“Aye.” His boots clicked on the floor as he moved closer. “Swan, I wanted to assure you that Regina didn’t inform me that you hadn’t been consulted about this arrangement. I would not have come if I had known and if you wish I will refuse to fetch him again.”

Emma looked at him as he spoke and saw the sincerity etched on his face and in his too blue eyes. He was giving her an out. She had told him not to follow her, to stay away and he was willing to still do that for her despite having the perfect excuse to see her. She only needed to say the word and he would disappear from her life and fade back into her memory.

“I–“

Keep reading

My predictions for season 5:

Monty&Murphy are best buds (as well as they can be)

They are still trying to find a way back to earth.

I hate to say it but, Bellamy shacked up with either Raven or Echo (most probably Raven)

Someone on the Arc got knocked up. (Probs Harper)

Someone on the Arc died (probs Emori or Echo)

Someone in the bunker got knocked up (Abby?? No…Octavia?? No…)

Someone in the bunker died (take your pick)

Things didn’t work out with Abby & Kane

Jaha will have new hair or probably no hair with the way it’s been evolving.

New main(ish) character will be introduced

Things between Clarke and Bellamy will not be good i.e awkward, bad, sad, heartbreaking

Really anything can happen in SIX FREAKING YEARS and seven days. And something is telling me I won’t like it.

(Just the thought of which characters could be so easily killed or written off at this point is making me nauseous…)

I rewatched the clip and saw this

I googled 96:14 to find the verse on Quran:

After they go another conversation with Quran verses, this time in English which I found interesting

After that she gets angry about the screen shots that Sana posted to his brothers Facebook. It seems that they were some kind of friends or Jamilla looked and protected Sana when she used to get bullied in Ura (the school she went before, the bullying is quit well presented on Ikke snake til meg clip). So when Sana got to the high school she wanted to change, “become” Norwegian by finding new friends and getting involved with Russ. Like showing to herself that she is Norwegian and that islam won’t stop her from experiencing things but most of all it was a way for her get friends. There are no other -99 muslims or at least we haven’t seen any of them. 
Now her relationship with girl squad is breaking up so she is thinking Jamilla again and reconsidering her choices of looking out for Norwegian friends and not islam-girls. Everything that people had warned Sana about is becoming true. She trusted those girls with her heart which must have been hard and now one-by-one she can see them turning against her. 
I hope Sana contacts Jamilla again and gets some good advice from her to get back on those bitches.

anonymous asked:

I took the "They'll only ever love each other" differently. Like it's an unfinished sentence. "But they sure will try" Or she will. I know you said they won't go the triangle route because they got it out of the way, but I disagree. Despite Will and AIDA, they haven't truly had a triangle. I know this isn't THAT kind of show, but I rule out nothing when it comes to these writers and what they do to Fitzsimmons.

Hi Anon,

Yes, we technically haven’t had the traditional love triangle.  I know I said they’d done the love triangle and they wouldn’t do it again.  And that WAY back when AIDA first showed up they would never do a relationship between her and Fitz and well the writers found a very creative and painful way around that.  I’m good but in early A I did not see Fitz being kidnapped, brainwashed, and manipulated into a relationship with her in an computer world coming. 

So at the risk of tempting the universe and the writers I don’t see them going there.   There are a few factors in play some ‘business’ and some story wise.    

  • By business I mean those who consume their product, the fandom.  I’ve said many times there is a fine line between keeping it fun and interesting and frustrating and painful to the point where people don’t want to watch anymore.  And for some, they already crossed that line with the Framework Arc and Fitzsimmons, it went too far, and the pay off wasn’t enough to compensate for the level of pain it caused.   We even see it in articles and interviews too with the “you certainly have put Fitzsimmons through the ringer” in that its getting old for them too.   Then we have non shippers where its getting ‘old’ for them too.  
  • Story wise it makes absolutely zero sense for them to go that route especially now.   Both Fitz and Jemma are going to be healing from the events of last season.  Its confirmed they both love each other.   Fitz is coming off some serious trauma and the idea that either of them would enter into a relationship with someone else on the heels of this literally makes me sick.  Fitz wouldn’t have started up a relationship with someone as he was helping Jemma recover from Maveth just as Jemma wouldn’t have started something with anyone while she was helping Fitz heal from his TBI.  That would be an unforgivable level of character assassination as it would make zero sense especially after everything we saw and heard last season.   It would also completely throw away what they have set up, and that is Fitz’s healing arc and Jemma helping him to do that. 
  • Character and story assassination aside, if either Fitz or Jemma got involved with someone else, we already know they wouldn’t love them, they’d still love the other person. So there’d be absolutely zero point to it, either narratively or in terms of characterization. Jed wouldn’t keep saying “they’ll never love anyone else” if he was planning to introduce a love triangle. He’s already told us the outcome.

The arc we are set up for next season is one of healing and them fighting together.   Its time their story comes full circle.

  • Season 1:  Practically inseparable but not a couple
  • Season 2:  Angst…so much angst as Fitz healed.  Jemma left him then because she thought that was what he needed to get better.  She knows now that that is not the case and I do not see her willingly being away from him.
  • Season 3:  Jemma was taken, the whole contrived roadblock Will fiasco, guilt that kept them apart most of the season.  We knew the feelings were there and we finally got them together towards the end of the season.
  • Season 4:  Started with professional separation Jemma’s new job and Fitz working with Radcliffe.  Then it moved to physical separation when Fitz was kidnapped and then thrown into the Framework Hades.  

So my hope for season 5 is we are back to being practically inseparable.   Them working together, working on healing together, and the the bigger issue being getting Fitz wanting to work and create again and seeing he’s not a bad person.  Them fighting to get home so they can move onto the next stage of their relationship.  Get engaged at the very least.  That to me is far more interesting than throwing an rando into the mix that will only serve as a wedge for a few episodes.  

There is also a much bigger targets for the Love Triangle Trope.   We have two other ships on the show right now that they would have an easier time doing that with.   I don’t think they do it with Philinda, they’ve had weird versions of the ‘love triangle’ too already on top of missed windows.  They had their “Maybe there is moment,” in the finale and Coulson was promply taken off to space (so lesson learned never say that unless you want to be taken to space).  We won’t know for a bit if May and the others are there with him.  Or if the team is there, how long the writers drag that out for, what kind of roadblocks they have in store.  Meaning I worry that the couple that could see a love triangle will be Mackelena if they wanted to go that route.  They ended the season on the best note out of all the couples but at the same time they are the newest, still getting to know each other, and they haven’t been/worked with each other for an extended period of time.  Its a whole new ballgame for them if they are indeed living and working together and they will face some of the growing plains that we saw even Fitzsimmons having as they adjusted to their new relationship ‘on the job’.  

Not to mention we have Daisy in the mix too, they could pull the another trope with her where they introduce two prospects and do the whole “who will she chose” crap.  For the record I do not want that!   And like you said AOS isn’t that kind of show.  If they went anywhere near this it would be super low key and likely slow burn.   

Yes, the writers can do anything, but its not what they have set up or where I feel the story is going to go.  They’ve set up the endgame (Marriage and Perthshire), they’ve even set up the next obstacles (possibly being kidnapped to space and both needing to heal from the Framework).  If this is the last season we’ve got 22 episodes to get us a good way into the Endgame.   And I’ll be blunt, a love triangle for Fitzsimmons after everything we had this season would just be the straw that broke the camels back.  I survived the Framework…barely (I even designed a T shirt)…I won’t stick around for a contrived love triangle.  

Featherbrain

Author: Reioka @reioka
Fandom: Avengers
Pairing: Steve/Bucky/Tony
Rated: N/A
Where I read: AO3

Review: I loved this entire fic so much! From the relationship between Steve, Bucky, and Tony to the friendship between Natasha and Tony, as well as Natasha and Bucky this fic was a gem. I love how specific reioka got with the wing descriptions and how she even named the birds who inspired the Avengers’ different wings. It was a great way to make the fic more realistic and interesting. I really liked the fluff and humor that was present throughout the entire fic and the writing was superb. This fic makes me want way more wing!fics than are out there and I hope there will be more in the future. But what I’m really looking forward to is more writing by reioka!

2

Raider. Brute. Smith. Mute–though that’s just a misconception. Kolgrim simply has very little to say. The rich red of his eyes against his dark skin unnerves even some of the hardened fighters. Deadly with a broadsword as well as a look, Kol made an obvious addition to the Warlord Arslan’s force. He never complained, did his duty and did it well, and often took cheap commissions to fix chipped and battered weapons. He listened, but he never really joined with the ruffians’ sort of sport, and as a rather big man, no one derided him to his face for the poor attitude he often was accused of perpetuating.

It was that last kid, though, the one Arslan had with one of his women, that really got to the guardian. Kol only ever saw the tyke once. Kid must have escaped his mother inside the women’s tent and made his way to the entrance, poking his head out to see why everyone yelled. It’d just been a brawl, nothing serious, and Kolgrim stood nearby the tent entrance just to make sure none of that nonsense found its way inside when he spotted the flap movement, looked to the left, then down. Spotted the kid. Raised a silent brow.

Someone yanked him back inside within seconds, though, and Kol caught a glimpse of tanned arms and wide, frantic green eyes, bits of a hushed conversation between frightened mother and child, but it happened. That telling crawl down Kolgrim’s spine, assuring him that his Charge was indeed nearby.

Not real happy about it, but what can a guardian do?

When it all went to hell in camp and the revolt fires burned, Kol made sure and got the two of them away before anyone else slaughtered them. Now out in the middle of nowhere with a woman and kid and suddenly Kol’s the responsible one. Could be worse. Definitely could be better. Oh well.

misskatieleigh  asked:

the last train to jedha (for the made up fic title)

Okay, this, to me, screams Old West AU, more specifically, a Magnificant Seven/Rogue One mashup. 

We’ve got Jedha, a small mining town that was happy enough once, prosperous enough once, but then wealthy industrialist Orson Krennic discovered that there was Niter in the coal mine. He muscled into town with his paid-off gang, the Death Troopers. Krennic locks down Jedha, his personal train the only fast way into or out of the town.

In this chokehold, people start dying, and eventually, longtime resident Chirrut decides that Enough is Enough and goes off with all the wealth the town has left to hire some gunslingers. 

Well, at first he’s just looking for one gunslinger. A gunslinger with his own damn gatling gun. He finds Baze Malbus, throws a pile of money down in front of him. “Jedha is dying. Is this enough to make you come back home and fight for it?” 

Baze looks at him. “Jedha hasn’t been home for me for a long time.” 

Chirrut sighs. “It could be, again. Please, come home. It’s been so long since you’ve left that I can’t even remember why. We were a good team, once. We could be again.”

Baze has never been able to say no to Chirrut for long. (it was part of the reason why he left) He pushes the money back across the table. “Alright. But we can’t do it alone. We need help.” 

They find law-abiding Marshall Cassian Andor first. Yankee Intelligence Captain in the Civil War, went into peacekeeping afterward. Never lost the taste for wanting to see Justice done. He knows it’s a lost cause, but he’s got some ideas. 

Cassian goes and sends out a message to Kate Euesso, his old partner in the intelligence game. Kate is an enormously tall woman (we’re genderbending! What even is a droid gender, anyway) who is good with her fists and even better with her rifle. Cassian pitches their lost cause, and she looks at him and says, “You know your chance of success is less than two percent and casualties are a certainty.” 

“Yes.”

“Well, I’m in.” 

Their recruiting party is crashed by a young woman with a six-shooter at her hip and a truncheon in her other hand. She’s accompanied by a twitchy young man who nevertheless covers her back with quiet competence. “Name’s Jyn Erso. I understand you’re going after the man who killed my father. This is Bodhi Rook. He can get you in to Krennic’s base.” 

“Assuming they haven’t changed the codes. If they have, all I can get you is blown up.” 

And then Bodhi helps them hijack a train and they make it into Jedha and everyone does a lot of kicking ass and Baze finally confesses that his long love for Chirrut was what made him leave and they kiss in the middle of battle and  they set the town free. 

And despite being a mashup of two movies where everyone/nearly everyone dies in the end Gosh Darnit They All Live Because This Is My House.

The call will come in through the office phone when I’ve finally caught up with all the filing from the week. “Hello?” The grandmotherly voice was paced and deliberate, “I’ve got Ed for you on one.” I thanked her and picked up the security officer, “Good morning, Ed.” Waved to him on the first floor every morning and lunch.

“Morning. Say, are you the owner of the gray van parked on the seventh?” I sighed, scratched the back of my head, “Yes, yes, I am.” He breathed out in a way that whistled, “Well, someone smelled smoke coming from it and part of your engine was on fire, I think it was the transmission. Anyway, we have to tow it.”

A variety of responses came to mind, but the most suitable seemed to be a laugh, and I did, “Ah. Well. I’m sorry for the inconvenience.” Ed returned a chuckle, “I’m sorry for yours too. Here’s the tow company’s number.” I took it down, thanked him. Then I leaned back in the chair in the windowless office, yawned. It would be a mystery on how I’d get to work now, but at least I’d have a reason to get a bike.

Arrow season 5 finale

damn this was an amazing finale

first with getting Slade Wilson back, that was a long time coming. I wondered if he would betray Oliver, but ultimately he didn’t and he is an ally now. I wonder what will happen with him next season

so Malcolm sacrificed himself for Thea. that got pretty emotional, despite the crap he’s put her through and the shit he’s done in the past. (is he really dead? I guess it was a decent way to go out, but part of me hasn’t accepted it)

Nyssa and Talia faced off, and it was kickass

so did Black Siren and Dinah Drake, and that was pretty awesome too

Deathstroke taking out ninjas was glorious

Rene and Diggle did pretty well against the League also

the flashbacks show us who Oliver was; the present show who he has become: a hero

that phonecall with his mom made me tear up

that little Olicity kiss, just in case, gave me feels

Oliver never gave in to what Adrian wanted, never went back to who he used to be, and I’m so proud of him for that.

and he saved William, so that’s a win.

but now, the island has been blown to bits. Of course I’m sure everyone is safe, but we’ll have to wait until season 6 to find out how.

for now, this has been a wonderful season, better than the last one, and the finale was no exception.

peace out.

Can you imagine the betrayal people must have felt when Lord Snapcase turned out to be just as bad as Winder?
Maybe when he didn’t disband the Unmentionables, people thought, well, the city can’t function without them.
BUT they actively got WORSE after Snapcase!
The people remember The People’s Republic of Treacle Mine Road, their dreams for a better future, a better way of doing things. All for nothing. All those deaths, all that idealism and bravery. For LORD SNAPCASE.

And then Snapcase goes too far, for too long, and is overthrown in turn. We do not know how Vetinari got into power, but I think it is save to assume that his name wasn’t shouted in the streets.
He is an assassin, thin and sharp and deadly. Dressed in black, with a goatee, can’t you see he’s just another villain, undisguised this time?
Another Patrician. Another madman. We know how this goes. Ye gods, he is legalising the Thieve’s Guild.

Slowly, Lord Vetinari disbands the hated Unmentionables. He stops the curfews, the pointless interrogations, the torture and disappearances.
But the change is gradual. Stable. There is no revolution, just a gentle change towards prosperity, peace, stability.

When he disbands the Unmentionables, there is no cheering in the streets. It’s not like that. It’s gradual, a steady decline in power, until they are gone.

And Vetinari himself, he justifies it with the argument that they are not an asset to the city. That’s right, people say, he didn’t remove them because they are abhorrent, awful and WRONG. He did it because they didn’t get the results he wanted.

All the people see is a tyrant, more terrifying than the previous ones, with more radical ideas.
And slowly, people forget. They forget how bad it used to be, how people disappeared every night.

But the city… The city begins to work.

anonymous asked:

Hi, Rosy! Do you people had/will have babies during those 6 years? I imagine that they probably came up with rules like the ones of the Ark, but that didn't stop Octavia from being born. And if so, do you think it could involve some of the main characters?

I think people are GROSSLY misunderestimating how hard it is going to be to survive on that ship. They’re going to be starving. There’s no food up there and I don’t thing any way to grow any, unless they find some seeds. Well, it is Gosci, so as the head of science, there might be some botany going on in there. Anyway, they’re still extremely low on resources. It isn’t going to be a picnic for them. Turns out, earth was the better place again, once they got over the death wave. My guess is Clarke had it a lot easier than they did, even being alone with only Maddie.

The Locker Room

At the college I went to, after working out at the gym I always would shower in the farthest showers where no one really was because each stall had 6 shower heads and multiple guys would be in there at once. One day after working out I had started showering and another guy started showering in the same stall but on the opposite side. I am not gay, but something about being naked with another person turned me on and started to get a boner. I tried to stay with my back turned, but I kept looking to see if he was looking and would catch him glancing my way. He started to get hard as well. Since we were both hard I assumed it would be okay to quickly jerk one out. As I started he walked over and jerked off with me. We never touched each other but just looked. I came first and shot in the drain, but his load went everywhere like a sprinkler and got all on my leg. I finished washing and walked out. I occasionally see him around campus :)

Eurovision 2K17: Graham Norton's Best Bits

“It’s a grey, damp night outside so there’s a faint smell of wet dog in the arena.”

“So, the theme this year is celebrating diversity, so let’s see who they’ve got to host… Oh, it’s three white men. Well done.”

“I can’t mock the jacket because… I’ve worn worse.”

“Timur is a personality powerhouse.”

“They’re excellent at speaking at the same time, they’ve cracked that.”

“Her brother will be fiddling with her on stage tonight.”

“Nathan Trent is actually his stage name. His real name is… Very difficult.”

“If you think my job’s hard, check out the guy pretending to play the saxophone for three minutes.”

“I should tell you, the Union Jack just fell off the wall in the commentary room. Hope it’s not an omen.”

“Nothing’s gone wrong. This was planned.”

“By the way, don’t worry, he hasn’t bought his mother’s ashes onstage with him. It’s actually a mini milk churn, which- who knew- could double as a musical instrument. Well, I say musical.”

“By the way, there hasn’t been a stage invasion. The woman is a professionally trained dancer. She is meant to be there.”

“The dancer trying to hide there. Who can blame her?”

“Inside that gorilla is Italy’s leading choreographer.”

“If you’re going to dress someone as a gorilla, at least get a decent costume. It looks like two carseat covers sewn together.”

“She was born and raised there (Australia). Moved to Denmark… Suspiciously recently.”

“There is so much love in this room.”
“Not for you, Alex.”

“Stop.”

“And you keep thinking, ‘oh, this will make sense in a moment’ and… No…”

“She very kindly gave us some promotional chalk. I’ll be taking that home.”

“Ironically, for a man singing a song called ‘My Friend’, he doesn’t seem to have any.”

“Song 14 is Australia. Let’s not get into it.”

“My only piece of advice would be don’t start looking at his eyebrows unless you don’t want to stop”

"Does he advertise car insurance?”

“It’s got lots of things euro fans will enjoy: a beautiful woman, a stonking disco beat, and two half-naked men splashing around in a paddling pool.”

“Ooo. Some dodgy notes in there. I wonder if something’s gone wrong technically… Or maybe he’s just not great.”

“He wasn’t supposed to be singing but he stepped into the breach when the original singer… Came to his senses.”

“Comedy alert, ladies and gentleman.”

“Now… If I say this song is rap meets yodelling…”

“She claims to be the only yodeller in Romania. Probably because the others don’t talk about it. It’s the first rule of Yodel Club.”

“She splits her time between Berlin and London, so if you think you know her, you’ve probably seen her waiting for a bus or something.”

“Eurovision fans know it’s a long wait for the competition.” “A year. It’s a year, Timur.”

“The next thing you’ll ask is… How can three minutes be this long?”

“I just hope she enjoys it (performing) a bit more than she appears to.”

“This boy is a boy.”

“He’s literally just turned 17. He was born in this century.”

“We’ve done it, ladies and gentleman. This is song 26.”

“Terrific graphics, though. Mind you, if we’re looking at the graphics, something’s gone terribly wrong, hasn’t it.”

“Verka and her mother. I think it’s the same mother she had in 2008, we can’t be sure.”

“She (Verka) has already started drinking tonight.”
“Oh, I can believe that.”

“If zombies did aerobics, it’d look a bit like this.”

“Two hundred million people… Are watching this.”

“This is quite torturous. A very long minute.”

*gasp* “I smell charisma.”

“I shared a urinal with John Ola Sand earlier. I didn’t talk to him…. Thought best not to.”

“Look at us, on the left hand side of the scoreboard.”

“Do you think she gave the other half of her jacket to the man from Croatia?”

“This is like an international version of First Dates.”

“They’re like the muppets with accents.”

7

ok heAR ME OUT: Voltron Art School AU (totally self-indulgent and based off the art school I’m going to coughcough nvm) 

I wrote many cool n’ pretty wild headcanons for it so uhhhh, read under the cut: 

Keep reading

An ill-advised jailbreak

Context: My halfling bard had been seen using magic by a group that is staunchly anti-magic. He had been put in a cell, and some very significant events occurred.

Dm: You are thrown into the cell. It is padded and the only thing in the room is a toilet. No sink, no bed.

Bard (ooc): Wait I still have all my stuff, right?

Dm: Yes, you do.

Bard (ooc): I’m gonna use my miner’s pick on the toilet.

Dm (chuckling): You get in a few good hits before the scent of vanilla washes over you. Con save. (Fails) You pass out. You awaken some time later, stripped of your possessions and clothes, you are now wearing a straitjacket with markings all over it.

Bard (ooc): can I try to weasel out of it?

Dm: Strength check.

Bard (ooc): Oh I thought I was gonna like, wiggle…whatever. (Rolls strength: 20 with bonuses)

Dm: Jesus…okay, you hulk out, ripping the bindings of the straitjacket.

Bard (ooc): fantastic. How big is the room?

Dm: 10 feet by 10 feet.

Bard (ooc): …fuck it, I’m casting thunderwave as a second level spell. I’m gonna blast open this door.

Dm: OKAY. You cast Thunderwave, the force of which buckles the door significantly, though it does not give way. The force of the thunderwave bounces back off of the walls, roll 9d8 damage. (After bard got the con save, it was halved)

Bard (ooc) (sweating): 40. I take 20 damage. I’M ALIVE! Bloody and naked, but ALIVE!

Dm: yeah well now a parade of guards flood in, holding rods with electric ends.

Bard (ooc): Okay, I’m gonna intimidate the shit out of them before they attack.

Dm: One chance.

Bard: YOU DENSE MOTHERFUCKERS, I’M A FACELESS MAN (men in this group allowed to use magic), I COULD KILL YOU ALL! (Rolls intimidation, nat 20)

DM: you are nude, bloody, you just exploded the room, you yelled stuff at them they didn’t understand, and threatened to kill them. They’re pants-shittingly terrified, so they’re going for the kill, now. You rolled too well.

Bard: SON OF A BITCH.

The bard didn’t die. But bard had a bad time, after that he was strung up, suspended in the room, blindfolded, gagged, and still nude. If only he were kinky.

Marichat May Day 20: Night on the town

This is a gift for @australet789 who actually gave me this idea while we were talking. I hope you will enjoy!


When Chat landed on the rooftop next to her, Marinette was really glad Tikki flew in her purse just moments before.She had to run fast after she cleansed the akuma, it had been a really close all and she ended up on a roof. Chat saw her too, apparently.

“Hello, Purrincess.” he made a curt bow, before taking her hand and kissing her knuckles. “I see you got stranded by the akuma. And I as your loyal knight, will escort you to your tower and protect you along the way.”

Marinette raised an eyebrow, before glancing over her shoulder. There wasn’t such a long distance. Only 500 meters from her home and it was easier going over the rooftops anyway. And it was dusk. She could work with it.

“So what do you say about it, Princess?”

Marinette turned her eyes back to him and her lips curled in a smirk. The look obviously took Chat by surprise.

“You know what, Chat. I’ll race you there.”

Chat looked confused only for it to morph into horror as Marinette turned around and sprinted across the rooftop doing a handspring and landing gracefully on a chimney. To be honest, Chat wasn’t sure if he should be terrified for her or turned on. Just then she looked over her shoulder with a confident smirk. And then she winked.

Turned on was it.

He was pulled out by his little attraction induced trance when Marinette disappeared behind the chimney.

“Princess, wait!”

He was also a little bit, but actually a fucking lot terrified. Because not only was a civilian racing him across rooftops, but said civilian was also known for her clumsiness and ability to trip over air. This was not good for his health. As quickly as he could, he began running after her. And after he passed that chimney he was surprised to find Marinette a couple of meters ahead of him. Not only was she actually managing the whole running over the rooftops part, she was pulling off some tricks that were more for showing off than for helping her in this race. Chat was pleasantly surprised. Ad maybe just a little… what was the word? Enticed. Yeah, that was it. Marinette somersaulting through air and looking so happy and carefree was quite the sight and it made his heart beat faster

As for Marinette, well, she might have gained a parkour obsession in the last couple of months. It just started out of curiosity, how would it be to run over the rooftops without the Ladybug suit. At first, she just got over the chimney of her house. Then the next night after another. And another. And so on till she crossed the whole building. And after that, she began trying to scale the next building. It was refreshing. And f she didn’t know the rooftops of Paris, then no one did. She heard Chat’s steps close behind her and laughed. There was no way she will let him win. Her eyes focused on the gap between two buildings that she needed to jump over.

“MARINETTE NO!”

Chat felt his heart stop as Marinette jumped off the building. He forgot how to breathe as she rolled through the air. And when she landed on the building safely, he almost sighed in relief. Until he saw her rolling across the roof. What if she got hurt? Fuck, why wasn’t he faster? What if she injured herself badly? What if she broke something? What if she got a concussion? His mental question spree was cut short as Marinette stood up gracefully and obviously not injured. Then she blew him a kiss.

“Come on, cat boy! Don’t give me unfair advantages.”

Chat blinked before jumping as well. Marinette gave him a confident smile before beginning to run again, Chat hot on her tail. He had to admit, they got chemistry when it came to parkouring over Paris’ rooftops. It was sort of familiar, but he couldn’t pinpoint why. And while the whole race was fun, the fact that Marinette had such a cute ass to stare at as he tried to catch with her totally helped. Not that he ever stared at her super cute ass, no.

“I win!” Marinette declared victoriously when she landed on her balcony, Chat doing the same just seconds later. She turned around to face him. “So what do you think about this princess’ skills, my knight?” she asked playfully before ringing his bell.

Chat felt his face going red. “Marry me.”

“What?”

“What?”