And so a month after they built the fifth Wal-Mart in our county, a little coffee shop opened just a few yards away.
My coworker Rick said it looked like a giant amoeba just waiting to absorb any surrounding properties.
“The coffee shop?” I asked.
“No, Wal-Mart is the amoeba.”
When I got back to my desk, I typed ‘amoeba’ into Google and realized that I had incorrectly pictured a centipede.
“Fuck Rick,” I thought. “I don’t need any more friends, anyway. I’m on friend overload.”
At dinner that night, the Wal-Mart came up again when my wife Diane mentioned how ugly it was to see another gigantic shopping center taking up space in our town.
“It looks like a giant amoeba just waiting to absorb that little coffee shop,” I said. “And then the coffee shop is like a centipede.”
“I don’t think amoebas eat centipedes. And besides, that’s the point.”
Diane went on to explain that the coffee shop, though legitimate and functioning by all measures, was really an art piece constructed by a group of private donors in response to the new Wal-Mart.
“The idea is that we’re intentionally not supposed to go to the coffee shop. That way, Wal-Mart customers will be forced to observe the gradual decay of a local business every time they enter the store.”
“Well, I’ve been going there all week,” I said. “I think the coffee is top-notch stuff. Plus, it’s on my way to work.”
“The coffee is supposed to be mediocre,” said Diane. “Keeping within the budget of most struggling businesses. It’s supposed to be virtually undrinkable.”
“Hmm…well I really like it.”
“Well, you can’t keep going or else you’ll ruin the project.”
“This is America,” I said. “And if I want a cup of mediocre, overpriced coffee, by god I will have it!”
Over the next several months, I kept drinking the coffee. Some days I even went twice. The quality of the coffee, I was told, gradually worsened as a result of my unwavering interest, but I never noticed and so I had no choice but to doubt the rumors.
My doubt remained intact even after overhearing a private conversation between the coffee shop’s manager and the cashier. I was standing by a tree and watching a teenager back his car into another car and I guess they didn’t see me.
“I know,” said the cashier. “I’ve tried that, but it’s like he doesn’t have taste buds.”
“Well, he’s single-handedly fucking up this entire thing.”
“So what then, poison? Would he even drink poison?”
“Now, that’s an interesting idea.”
“Stupid teenage drivers,” I thought.
In the end, they poisoned the coffee. I made it a month after that, but my failing eyesight and ravaged kidneys eventually left me bed-ridden.
“Well, they just opened another location,” said Diane. “Business is booming. I hope you’re happy.”
And I wasn’t happy, but I was somehow content and I thought about everything: Wal-Mart, art projects, even little amoebas crawling through the forest, one-hundred legs working beautifully in tandem.
“Nobody ever wins in these kinds of things,” said Diane.
“But if you had to pick a winner, you’d probably pick me because the coffee shop was on my way to work.”
Diane sighed and left the room. I dozed off and in my dream, they did pick a winner. They picked me and I was led over to a small stage to choose my prize: A brand new recliner or two new kidneys!
“The recliner,” I inquired. “How far back are we talking?”
“For the world of football, Messi is a treasure because he is a role model for children around the world… Messi will be the player to win the most Ballons d’Or in history. He will win five, six, seven. He is incomparable. He’s in a different league.” - Johan Cruyff
I feel like I’m out of practice :S And I’m a day late. And I will do better next time, but I really needed to do something cute for my son so take this*tosses onto ur dash* Happy Belated Birthday to the Best Owl Bae!!❤️🎂~
Around Velaris, I was somewhat of a legend. Everyone knew my
artistic style, and anyone that had visited the city at least once had stopped
to admire my murals scattered throughout the streets. They offered glimpses of the
night sky; maps of constellations and galaxies alike.
I’d been planning my latest piece for weeks. I had scouted a
spot to paint it for twice as long, and had finally settled on the underside of
the railroad bridge at the east end of the city. It wasn’t ridiculously busy
there, so I wouldn’t have to worry much about getting caught as long as I was
careful. But there was also enough foot traffic during the day to ensure that
my work wouldn’t go unnoticed.
I packed up my spray cans and rolled my drawn-up plans,
stuffing them carefully in a canvas bag. I set out from my apartment, trekking
through the shadier parts of the city to get to my destination. I passed a few
of my old projects along the way, most of which had been at least partially
covered by the same artist.
I paused outside an abandoned 7-11, creeping around the back
to check on the status of the mural I’d spent four nights working on earlier
this year. It had been untouched since I’d painted it, almost as an unspoken
rule between us underground street artists.
“No way.” I stopped in my tracks, gawking at the new art
that now covered the brick wall.
Oversize sparrows flew between buildings in a silhouetted
skyline, chasing each other in an infinite circle. It was a nice piece, I had
to admit. But there, in the bottom left corner, in sparkly gold lettering, was
a name I had come to loathe.
“The Dreamer strikes again.”
Whoever this “Dreamer” was, they certainly spared no
expense. Each and every work was as elaborate as possible, and always centered
around social injustice. And they were beginning to seriously piss me off.
They’d re-tagged six of my projects in the last two weeks alone, and had
quickly become the talk of the town.
“What’s a guy gotta do to keep a piece uncovered around
here?” I stalked off, intent on making my nect painting my absolute best.
My hopes were soon dashed, however, when I made it to the
“You’ve gotta be fucking kidding me.” My perfect spot, the
one that I had monitored for weeks, had been snatched from under my nose, and
by none other than my self-proclaimed rival.
The sour-sweet scent of paint still hung in the air, and I
knew I had missed them by an hour at most. The paint was still tacky to the
touch, and I ground my teeth to keep from exploding.
“You know what?” I slung my bag to the ground, taking a deep
breath. “I don’t even care. This is my wall.”
Arranging my tools and spray cans in front of me, I unrolled
my plans and got to work.
• so he would’ve had a crush on you for a while but was too afraid to speak up and say anything
• bc he didn’t really know you that well and he didn’t wanna ruin any possibilities of getting to know you better
• but working and being around him was becoming kinda awkward bc all he wants to do is impress you
• so you’d catch on pretty quickly and put 2 and 2 together
• the other guys TOTALLY being childish around yall bc they know you’ve got a little crush on their mom too
• it’d take no time for them to set up a little plan to hook yall up
• which ofc doesn’t work bc Junmyeon ends up shying out of it last second
• but omg he’d be so sad for standing you up
• so in the middle of the night-
• HE’D SHOW UP WITH FLOWERS AND THE BIGGEST SMILE ON HIS FACE BUT HE’S TRYING TO HIDE HIS TEARS BC HE’S SCARED YOU’RE GONNA SHUT THE DOOR AND NEVER TALK TO HIM AGAIN my soft heart
• still getting flustered when the members bring you up
• bc he’s wow like I’m actually blessed to find someone that loves me like that and tbh I don’t wanna jinx it :)
• but that’s a dang lie bc he’s always talking about how your cute lil hand fits in his
• and how you press your lips against his neck when you’re sleeping
• and how you always have a habit of wrapping yourself around him from behind when you’re scared
• so at this point they don’t even bother bringing you up
• being kinda shameless around you the longer you’ve been together
• like trying to make you flustered when he’s walking around your place shirtless and eating an apple
• being hella romantic and corny when he wants to kiss you
• like he’ll grab your chin with his forefinger and and give you an Eskimo kiss and then finally pressing his lips against yours
• he probably wants to grab all over your thighs when making out tbh
• oml but pull on his hair and he’ll be putty in your hands
• dad jokes central
• you can never go a day without hearing him crack up after a joke, even when it didn’t make any sense or when he said it wrong
• this goes without saying but he’d spoil the heck out of you
• and going out of his way to show his love
• having to scold the members when he’s not there bc he actually trusts you to handle them
• but you’d just end up wreaking havoc when you’re all together
• and blaming it all on baekhyun yikes
• but tbh he loves seeing you with them bc he’ll keep thinking of what it’d be like to have children one day
• him wanting to do cheesy things like dancing and kissing in the rain
• having lots of playful fights that end up in him tackling you with kisses
• bc all he wants to do is tease you and he loves how the both of you can act like kids around each other
• having those lazy days with nothing to do but pressing a kiss on each others lips every now and then
• and tracing his fingers over your delicate skin
• bruh he’s so in love
• pls treat him well and love him and help him take care of those kids bc tbh he’s getting too old 💙
I have alot to say about stranger things season 2′s take on my OT3. Great season. SPOILERS AHEAD.
please note that this is anti-jancy, but also not really since i don’t care one way or another, its more anti-nancy.
As you know, I’ve been a huge proponent of Steve Harrington coming out of season 1. I said my boy is an asshole but he learns and I applaud the Duffy brothers keeping that character development that occurred in SEASON 1 to transition to season 2 so now I can rub in all my friends faces that Steve was always a gem to the world and a great single dad to Dustin and this fandom is too quick to judge. Thank you.
I also think its known that I liked the way that Nancy was able to make her own choices and it always bothered me that throughout the entirety of Stranger Things that the characters kept telling Nancy who she should be, how she should act, who she should like, etc. I really like the idea that Nancy did want to party and wanted to be dumb high school kid and wanted Steve Harrington as a boyfriend and wanted to get A’s in all her classes and be a boss. She wasn’t trying to act out or play a part, she just wanted to be and I really connected with that. I knew they couldn’t do it, but I really wanted her to have both Steve and Jonathan and be a 80′s triad because they would’ve worked really well together, I think. Fuck Love triangles, really, they ruin everything.
But now I find out she was playing a part and it was all bullshit and everybody was right. So yeah, I hate Nancy Wheeler. And to all of you who want to tell me that Nancy was feeling guilty about Barb dying and is now realizing that Steve and her aren’t good together and that I shouldn’t hate her guts, Answer me this. How the fuck do you excuse, knowingly leading a guy on for a year, because the one you really wanted didn’t have the balls (but actually called common etiquette because its not like he knew you were waiting on him—oh wait) to step in and be an aggressive asshat. How do you excuse when you finally spill the beans, less than a week later, go off on a getaway with the guy you actually want, sleep with him, without verbally breaking up with your first boyfriend. How do you excuse that when she came back, she didn’t admit to it. It was Steve that had to call her out and give her a free pass. Oh, you want to say that Nancy’s just not over Barb and angry that Steve is trying act like everything is okay when its not? Did you not see the bat in the back of his car. Did you not hear him when he said, its not that this isn’t wrong, its that he fears for Nancy’s safety and her family’s safety. You think Jonathan went with her to blow this whole cover up open because he believes that same thing she does? That he wants justice for Barb too? He just loves Nancy. Did we not watch when they got back to the car, Jonathan asked her if she still wanted to do this? Can you imagine what would have happened if they ran the story and Eleven wasn’t there to close the breach and all those news cameras and people came to Hawkins, not knowing the danger they were going into or how about the breach wasn’t acting up and spreading underneath but when the government came to close them down, the breach was allowed to spread because no one was watching it anymore? yeah no.
They had shared trauma? yeah, but trauma doesn’t automatically equal love and you forget that while Steve wasn’t there for all of it, he was with them too. It all comes down to this: Steve loved her and she didn’t have the balls to admit she didn’t love him back and that is cruelest thing a person can do in my book. You know what she became when did that? She became her mom, staying with someone she doesn’t love because it’s expected and its safe and she’s scared to rock the boat. The worst part of it all is that in getting together with Jonathan, there wasn’t a choice. Not really. They were shamed into having sex, because this random Jancy shipper after 2 hours of meeting them laid out their entire romantic subplot and told them how it’s going to go and then they went through with it. Fuck her. You know what? I hope those two are happy together. Nancy Wheeler and Jonathan Byers deserve each other.
I hope Steve survives whatever happens in Season 3. I hope the boys reluctantly show Steve how to play D&D and he reluctantly gets into it. I hope Steve helps Dustin become the hottest thing to hit high school. I hope Steve beats the shit out of Bill and helps him become less of a racist abusive asshole. I hope Dustin and the group helps Steve write an awesome college application essay and he gets into college. I hope Steve finds someone(s) there who loves him and is loyal and good and heals him and makes him even more of a better person and is 10x better than Nancy Wheeler this season. I hope they come back and “adopts” all those little shits and he become a million-dollar CEO, or the next Sheriff, or a baker i dont fucking care.
“well that doesn’t look very much like bobdude” you said, astutely. That’s cause it’s only half bobdude cause this is another collab sweetie. This sweetie comes to you courtesy of @lamphoera who draws some seriously cool stylized horses, if you’ve never seen em go check em out.
I really like this one actually, it’s got a sort of grim fairytale vibe to it that I’m really diggin. I’m normally shooting for in your face cute so this was a great way to stretch that bit of creativity. Got to play around with color on some “darker” more desaturated tones that I think fit really well with the overall.
Anyways, thanks for letting me ruin your sketch lamp! I think I learned a lot from this one.