well not really my cousin

Our Hometown’s in the Dark

summary: Dan and Phil find themselves waking up back in time, to the day it all began. (Or, in which 2009 and 2016 Phan switch places.)

genre: fluff

tw: swearing

word count: 2.8k

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I needed to get this out of my system. 


I love them.

  • James: What’s the matter?!
  • Ted: We wanted to kiss at midnight, but nobody else is going to so y'know…
  • James: All right, I’ll take care of it.
  • Andromeda: Oh no, wait! James!
  • (They try to stop him, not sure of what he’s planning. He ignores them and goes to talk to Sirius.)
  • Sirius: (hopping) 73! 72! 71!
  • James: Padfoot! Padfoot! Padfoot, listen! Who are you kissing at midnight, huh? Marlene or Dorcas?
  • Sirius: What?
  • James: Well you gotta kiss someone, you can’t kiss your cousin.
  • Sirius: Well, who’s gonna kiss my cousin.
  • James: Ted.
  • Sirius: Awww, man! Really?
  • James: Mate-mate, who would you rather have kiss your cousin, Malfoy or Ted?
  • Sirius: That’s a good point.
  • James: Yeah.
  • Sirius: Oh well, since I have that whole history with Marlene, I guess Dorcas.
  • James: Okay, great!
  • Sirius: All right.
  • James: Dorcas! Dorcas! Sirius wants to kiss you at midnight!
  • Dorcas: (rolling her eyes) It’s so obvious, why doesn’t he just ask?
  • James: Mar! Mar! Listen, I’m gonna kiss you at midnight.
  • Marlene: What?!
  • James: Well, everyone’s gotta kiss someone. You can’t kiss Sirius you got the history.
  • Marlene: So?
  • James: So? Who would you rather have kiss you, me or Malfoy?
  • Marlene: Oh, good point.
  • James: Yeah!
  • All: (watching the ball drop) 3! 2! 1! HAPPY NEW YEAR!
  • Ted: (To Andromeda) Happy New Year!
  • Andromeda: Happy New Year.
  • Sirius: (To Dorcas) Happy New Year, Dor!
  • Dorcas: You too!
  • Marlene: (To James) Happy New Year, James!
  • James: So did that do anything for ya?
  • Marlene: ...

Can we please end this bullshit of attacking a person for not knowing every single fact of everything ever, like you do because you’re some kind of all-knowing God.