well not really because i clearly overlooked a lot of things

Yeah I know this is going back, but a lot of things in this episode always bothered me, and hardly anyone ever seems to mention them. 

One of the things I feel gets totally overlooked or brushed aside both within the episode itself and by fans,is that Amethyst was actively encouraging Peridot to make jabs at the other Gems.  It  started out as a single mildly frustrated comment about “permafusion” from Peridot and her venting about her lack of understanding,  and probably wouldn’t have gone any further, but  then Amethyst started egging her on.   

Also don’t forget Amethyst found Peridot insulting the other Gems, including Steven really funny up until a negative comment was made about her. Then suddenly Peridot was wrong, being mean, and had to apologise to Amethyst and ONLY to Amethyst (Steven got made fun of too, and at Amethyst’s request  "do Steven next!!“ ) . 

Peridot at this stage was still new to Earth social skills and what is and isn’t acceptable behaviour on Earth , so  I can understand why she was confused by Amethysts sudden angry reaction when she was doubled over laughing at similar comments made just moments before.   

 Don’t get me wrong, I like Amethyst, but I feel like she was being a total hypocrite here , and  her own blame and behaviour was never, and has never, even been acknowledged, let alone addressed.

Yes, Peridot was wrong and needed to apologise, and to Steven as well, really, not just to Amethyst,  but it wasn’t exactly unprovoked and Amethyst was in the wrong too. 

I liked the episode overall, just not how all the blame was dumped on Peridot (who by her own admission was still learning, and did feel bad that she upset Amethyst even if she initially didn’t understand how) , yet Amethyst who encouraged her to throw insults around and so escalated the whole thing in the first place , was made out to be the poor innocent victim by everyone including Steven. 

Also, getting away from Amethyst for a moment, the whole leash thing in this episode bothered me too. I can understand why Garnet would find being asked to unfuse  offensive, but Peridot didn’t, and at least tried to be polite in how she asked. Keep in mind that on Homeworld fusion is only done for practical reasons (officially anyway, the off colours prove some Gems break the rule, but its frowned on and they are severely punished if caught), and mostly that practical reason is  fighting. 

Peridot later reveals she understands and is fine with Opal because she can clearly see  and understand the practical reason for them fusing.  Peridot’s  initial discomfort with Garnet was not her objecting to the romantic relationship but her feeling intimidated because, thanks to Homeworld mentality,  she  associated fusion with violence/fighting. She’s actually fine and very quickly accepting when Garnet actually takes the time to talk to her and explain why, and that their fusion is romantic in origin, and doesn’t say another word about it. 

In fairness to Peridot if someone was hanging around me with a sharp knife  drawn and I could see no rational practical reason as to why they needed it in context,  I’d get uncomfortable and nervous too. Ok probably not the best metaphor, but you get the idea, and Peridots are not trained or meant for combat in the first place. She was probably feeling especially vulnerable from the still quite recent loss of her limb enhancers too. and all Garnet had to do was actually talk to Peridot about it. Instead Peridot was simply  tied up and kept on a leash like some disobedient animal, which would be a completely humiliating and degrading punishment for anyone, and again, no one objects  or questions it and she’s even left leashed for most of the episodes remainder. 

Apart from Steven she’s also pretty much excluded from the group for the rest of the episode too.

 This is also hypocrisy, because they are all expecting Peridot to empathise with and understand them and their viewpoint   without taking the time or effort to extend the same courtesy to her. 

 The Gems got better in subsequent episodes, but I feel like their treatment of her in this episode especially was overly harsh and very  unfair in general. 

She was not going to instantly understand or magically just know all the new rules , and confusing her by teaching her the wrong behaviour (Amethyst) was completely unhelpful. 

<sarcasm> But hey, it was all Peridots fault, and humiliation as a punishment is a great teaching tool… </sarcasm>

anonymous asked:

ur post about fic & racism in the supergirl fandom really got me thinking (especially about my own biases so thank you) but also like, how there’s this incredibly pervasive but subtle new form of racism I haven’t seen b4 in other fandoms? Like on one hand u have this loud condemnation of how racist monel is & how he was a slave owner blabh blah but no corresponding attention given to the existing Black characters. 1/4

I get wlw not wanting to write m/f fic but a lot of the fandom doesn’t reblog (or make) any of the gifsets, they don’t meta for him they don’t call for more screen time for Mehcad. Same for M’gann. SO many posts talking about how awful monel is compare him to Lena and strangely don’t mention the Black female character who also came from an oppressive society to become a hero? And there are like, idk, 4 people? Who write or post wlw fic with M’gann in it? 2/4

Same with Maggie. A huge segment of fandom decided Floriana is white (even tho hollywood clearly won’t cast her in roles for white women) so they use that as an excuse to exclusively stan the very light skinned white wlw. And the way it carries over to the characters, like, okay Flo is white? but Maggie is absolutely treated like a woc in how parts of fandom aggressively ignore her & find ways to demonize her character while overtly supporting lighter skinned characters ¾

And that same part of the fandom doesn’t ever seem to create content for Lucy or Vasquez either. IDK this isn’t something u can probably explore with stats but ur post really got me thinking and it just feels really gross now bc I see all these posts condemning racism but there’s still this extreme perpetuation of privileging white characters at the same time? & I haven’t seen this particular trend in fandom b4 4/4

Oh, anon, this made my day. I have a bunch of notes waiting in a doc to address the whole Mon-El thing with regard to the racist undertones and the rhetoric used by the show to frame his storyline, and I will do my best to write it before the season comes back again, because I genuinely think they tried to aim high and just … missed completely. (But I make no promises because my thesis defense is on Tuesday.)

To your first point re: fandom attitudes – I was surprised in the early half of S2 when so many people came out of the woodwork making posts in the main tag like “wait, why did they get rid of Kara/James??” because, oh right, nobody acted like they cared for almost twelve straight months. If y’all were so okay with this ship, where were you to acknowledge its social significance when it was canon? Where are you now? Why hasn’t there been an outpouring of tweets week after week at the execs and the writers for sidelining an interracial couple in favor of what we’re getting, especially since the storyline literally handwaved away human trafficking and slavery as minor plot points?

Not only that, when there’s unrealized potential for a non-canon ship there is typically an outpouring of fic in response, and while there’s been a statistically significant amount of new Karolsen fic in S2 because it’s pretty easy to top zero percent, the writing there is not keeping pace with any of the other dude-involved pairings. 

And you’re right, anon: it is not possible to prove anything with stats. HOWEVER, thanks to the addition of these new characters for S2, I *am* at the point now where it’s possible to see correlation between character race and fan engagement with different pairing choices. And the bias is there, whether it’s in the het pairings, the femslash, or even the m/m pairings. The whole reason I started tracking fic outputs in the first place was that any attempt to have this conversation last year devolved into yelling and finger-pointing because “you have no proof!” that racial bias is a thing. Except, yanno, all the POC who live with it daily saying that it’s a thing. Well, congratulations y’all: your choices leave digital footprints behind that are pretty easy to follow and chart for everyone to see.

This isn’t actually a new problem, by the way – racism and preferencing of white pairing happens a lot, in almost every fandom. The only difference maybe is that I’ve experimented with quantifying it, which is not something that people usually do when they study fandoms or fan behavior.

It pains me to no end that M’gann has been so overlooked, because her story has just as many dark character beats to it as Lena’s, if not more, plus the added bonus of her sharing a sense of “otherness” with Kara in a way that few other people can. And there is no way the disinterest in that pairing isn’t about race, because there are a whole bunch of ships from S1 between white women who’d never even met each other in canon that have more romantic fics than M’gann/anyone.

And the nonsense about Floriana, which I’ll remind everyone again was started by a white girl, had a demonstrable chilling effect on interest in Sanvers as a pairing. Like. I can actually show that on paper. And you’re absolutely right with what you said above, which bears repeating: Maggie is absolutely treated like a woc in how parts of fandom aggressively ignore her & find ways to demonize her character.

There’s also a treatment of Floriana herself that reminds me uncomfortably of how people went out of their way to demonize Naya Rivera’s personal life whenever she reminded the world she was black instead of just “very tan.” And a lot of the rhetoric people are using to talk about Floriana’s racial heritage is almost verbatim the same as what you’ll find on white supremacist discussion boards about Italian people. I’d love to think this is an accident, but I’ve made some people pretty angry for pointing this out in the past, so I suspect it’s at least partially deliberate.

Lucy was another case that drove me insane, for two reasons:

  1. The vast majority of femslash fans flat-out ignored her as a romantic choice even though there were a whole lot of good reasons to ship her with either Kara or Alex, and a whole lot less negative reasons not to. (And it’s not like Supercat was already dominating the scene before Lucy’s character was introduced. That ship only became popular after the movie Carol came out during the winter hiatus of S1.)
  2. People had the same fight last year about whether or not Lucy counted as a WOC and ultimately insisted that the answer was no. But then people kept on ignoring her anyway like somehow dubiously legal boss/employee relationships, potential treason, and incest were more logical bases for attraction.

Also, to the people who have been like “oh yay we could’ve had Dichen as Maggie, a real WOC” like somehow this would have made the fandom love her more – you’re full of shit. If you mean that, why has there been so little fic about Dichen as Roulette? Like, last year there were a whole bunch of shipfics featuring Livewire. There was Kara/Siobhan. And yet … no dark scenarios of Supergirl/Roulette? No Alex ones? There were even a bucketload of those for each Danvers sister + Max Lord, and this fandom isn’t even that into dudes. You’re telling me no one is interested in this kind of hero/villain dynamic with the Asian chick and somehow that’s not also about race?

tl;dr I suspect that a decent chunk of this problem is the result of subconscious bias, but some of it’s not. And what’s really sad about it is that, for all the talk on Tumblr about representation being important, we’re really doing no better as media producers than Hollywood when it comes to race. If anything, we might actually be doing worse.

The key to love, my father told me, was to never love someone more than they love you. So when, after dating for five months, Christopher Moore was the first to say “I Love You”, I thought I had hit the “Love Jackpot”. I say this because, prior to him saying it at that very moment, I had never given thought to the possibility that I could love him in return. Standing in front of my apartment building, nervous and excited, facing him and his smile, I questioned whether love was the word to describe what I was feeling. High school love, after all, is quite trivial with it’s ins and outs. Nevertheless after weighing the theoretical pros and cons of love, I decided that I was in love, at least in some respects. He was handsome, smart, sweet, and I enjoyed his company. This is what I believed love boiled down to; four factors. Honesty, clearly, was something I overlooked. About a year and 7 months into our blissful love affair, after graduation had passed and we had spent the summer taking all the cliché couple pictures, Chris decided that he “just couldn’t go on lying to me anymore. “Jenine” he told me “this guilt is eating me alive!”. I imagine there wasn’t much of him left, as it had been “eating away at him” for 6 months. This is when I learned that there is no “key” to love; no guide, no tips, no 101 course, because love is lived and learned; never taught. Try as you may, to forgo the pain of love, you’ll find joy in knowing that it’s survive-able and moreover, sometimes the good outweighs the bad. No, Chris wasn’t the love of my life, but he gave life to my ability to love.

“Never” my father said “let love override your faculty of reason.” Easier said, than done. My next love was Jeremy Bishop. Before you ask, of course there were others between Chris and Jeremy. But this is a story about love; not “almost loves”,“semi loves”, and “could’ve beens”. Jeremy’s love was the worst kind of love. The kind that doesn’t have a reason to exist but somehow it does and you’re glad. Its sole purpose is to debilitate your mind, forcing you to follow only your emotions. While Jeremy was dreamy, I learned that the man of your dreams can sometimes be the root of your nightmares.

I met Jeremy my junior year at _________ University. It was a Sunday and I had been studying in the library for an anthropology midterm and decided that I would take a break. Putting my highlighter down & flexing my hand I stood up & headed towards the bathroom. As I walked through the stacks, passing my hand across the rows of books I’d never read, my friend Denise spotted me and waved me over. Walking swiftly I made my way to the table she was stationed it & gathered that she had been studying all day as all. Splayed papers, open textbooks, two highlighters, & her laptop with several window open screamed “cram session” to me. After having sat & talked for some time about school & it’s “scammagry”, I noticed that someone had taken a seat at the end of the table. You know those typical movies where two people look up at the same time & smile coyly at one another? Well that’s what happened with us…….minus the smiling. When Jeremy & I caught eyes it was more of an inquisitive stare down. I relented because who really stares at a stranger for lengths at a time? Apparently Jeremy does because every time I looked up he was looking at me or perhaps through me. Whatever the case was I asked Denise if she could “Excuse me for one second?” as I got up from my seat and sauntered over to Jeremy, running my fingernails along the wooden table that both separated and joined us.

He was brown skinned but it was a rich brown that I often found myself lost in. He had brown hair that was cut low to avoid maintenance & also to spite his mother who so much loved it longer. His eyes were almost black they were so dark, yet you never asked someone to hit the lights when staring into them. He had a slight dimple on the right side of face that only presented itself in the presence of his mother, its creator.

“I know you or something?” I said, to which he looked up & responded “No you don’t. But since you’re already here, I’m Jeremy. Nice to meet you….” he said moving his hand in that circular waiting motion “this is usually the part where you tell me your name”. He was sarcastic & forthcoming and I liked it. “This is usually the part when I’d say Jenine. My name is Jenine. Though I’m not sure it’s nice to meet you.” “Well Jenine, do you have HIST 256 on Mondays & Thursdays? I think that’s where I’ve seen you before.” “Well Jeremy, had I known you were a stalker I would’ve stayed at the other end of the table” “A stalker Jenine? Really? I think you’re mistaking my keen eye for details.” “I stand corrected then. I just had no idea I was noticeable to your "keen eye”, I said, making air quotes. He leaned in & said, “Maybe Jenine, just maybe there’s a lot of things you don’t know. I’d be happy to fill you in though. If you were ever free.” “Correct me if I’m wrong, but it seems to me, Jeremy, that you’re asking me out.” “It seems that way, because it is that way. But enough with this, would you be interested in going out?” “I’ll contemplate it.”

A week later Jeremy picked me up in his beat up silver 2010 Toyota Corolla. Got out & offered to close the door for me not because he was a gentleman but because I literally couldn’t close it myself. He told me he wanted to show me his favorite place in all of Brooklyn. We drove for about 15 mins and parked in DUMBO; my favorite place. As we walked to the pier he barraged me with every menial question from favorite color to top five movies. I stopped his questioning because I realized I knew nothing about him. “What about you?” I said. “Tell me something I don’t know about you.” “I’m a Taurus. Now back to you.” “Your sign. You gave me the third degree and in return you tell me your astrological sign??” “I’m really not that interesting. I kind of just go with the flow nothing special really.” “I could say the same about myself but you don’t see me spewing monotonous facts about myself” “That’s just it though. You’re very interesting. I see you twice a week & you never look the same to me. Always a different hairstyle, new lipstick, different outfit. You keep me guessing & well…I like that.” “Different outfit…Did you expect me to have the same clothes on like a cartoon character?”

Jeremy took my clothes off the way he took down my walls; slowly & intently. I never felt exposed or vulnerable. It was easy with him & who doesn’t like easy? The first time we had sex he kissed every scar and stretch mark on my body while he whispered beautiful and for the first time I believed it. This is when I knew I loved him; this is when I knew he loved me. We fell into a routine & inevitably, that’s how we fell apart. We saw each other four-five times a week in between work, school & our respective friends. I’d meet him after work or he’d meet me after class, we’d get some food or I’d cook, we’d talk, then go back to his dorm room or my house & somewhere in between there we’d fuck once or twice & that would be that. Talk, Eat, Fuck, Repeat. This, I should inform you, was the foundation for our dismantling. Jeremy grew tired of our monotony, I suppose, & because of that he started talking to a female customer who had “just so happened” to frequent his job. In talking they “just so happened” to find they had “so much in common” & somehow Jeremy’s dick “just so happened” to be in her mouth when I walked into his dorm room to get the spare phone charger I left there just in case. “Oh Mahh Gahhhh” is what Celeste said with his dick slighty tucked to the left side of her mouth because it wouldn’t have been polite to pull it out all together; though I’m sure there was no God she could ever call her own. Startled yet surprisingly indifferent I found my charger in the first drawer of his night stand now decoratively arrayed with ripped condom wrappers and I closed the door behind me.

Walking out of the apartment I didn’t feel anything but when I reached the stairs it hit me and when Jeremy came running out of his room, pulling his boxers up I looked up at him from the top stair I was sitting on & hit him right in the groin. “Shit! Ahh! Damn, J! Come on!” he winced . “Come on?? Excuse me?!? You’re such a fucking dickhead. Like what the fuck?” “I know. I know. I’m sorry babe. You gotta believe me! I swear it’ll never happen again.” & that’s what I wanted to believe after all; that this was just a bump along our road; that we could get through this because we could get through anything. So when Jeremy crouched down in front of me, put his hand under my chin, looked me right in the eye and told me he was “so sorry”, that he “really loved me”, that he was “mad stupid for doing that” I believed him & gave us another chance because I wasn’t ready to admit failure.

Celeste Soto was the average full figured broad who just “couldn’t help” falling for other women’s boyfriends, husbands, fiancés, you name it. Walking back into his room, I found her putting her left shoe on with one hand on his desk for balance. “You gotta believe mama” she said “I didn’t know he even had a girl. You feel me? I wouldn’t have done anything with him. Thas crazy disrespectful. My bad.” as she adjusted her bra strap and pulled her hair into a messy bun. Turning slighty towards Jeremy, I looked at him as if to say “really?!? THIS was the best you could do??” and he lowered his head, and stared at this one spot on the carpet that he could never get out. Not only had Jeremy cheated but he chose the lowest of women to do it with. “First of all, I’m not one of your friends so I don’t know why you’re calling me "mama” & no I don’t “feel” you nor do I intend to. Get your shit and get out!“ When she was gone I searched the apartment for remnants of her presence, prior to that days visit. An earring, a hair tie, maybe a lip balm. I found nothing or maybe I wasn’t really looking.

For eight months straight Jeremy was on his BEST behavior. He’d let me know where he was at all times as to ensure that he wasn’t out cheating; send pictures as proof on some occasions. I have to admit, though I was secure in his whereabouts, I was also sure that this was not how healthy relationships works. Nevertheless I looked forward to each notification because afterall "once a cheater……"you know the rest. One night I went over to his place to cook dinner, partially to ensure he wouldn’t be feeding Celeste or any other girl his penis but also because this is what I missed most about us. I had become so preoccupied with deciding whether or not I could trust him that I wasn’t concerned with trying to make us seem normal. After dinner we were in his bed tearing at each other’s clothes & after switching positions five times he looked down at me & said "I can’t do this”. Looking back at him I said “it’s cool I wasn’t feeling it either honestly”. “Not this” he said falling to my side, facing the ceiling “I mean like this….us”. Somehow though I knew that was what he had meant. This ball of something akin to both fear & anger welled up in my throat & grew until finally all I could say was “oh”. One tear fell from my eye & couldn’t allow myself to shed another. “This whole time” he said getting up from the bed “I wasn’t with you because I wanted to be. I was with you because I didn’t want to let you down.” He was pacing back & front at the foot of the bed, lifting his hands to his head then retracting them, looking over at me occasionally for assurance of my understanding. So he continued "I couldn’t let your last image of me be somebody who betrayed you. I had to prove you wrong & that’s selfish. I’m sorry. I don’t want to be in a relationship I’m not fully committed to. It isn’t fair to either of us J & you can hate me but I’d rather you hate me for being honest.” “Is this a joke? Please tell me you’re kidding right now” I said, half laughing half crying. “Let me get this straight” I said, sitting upright in his bed, pulling my shirt over my head “You cheated…..You lied…..YOU fucked up….You begged for another chance!…and my stupid ass gave you one. I’m just so lost right now.” This is when I realized I never should have sat on those steps & cried. I should’ve ran out of that building like it was on fire because guys like him will always burn you.

Some nights I could still hear his footsteps pacing the floor & I’d wonder when in the hell it would be over. When I’d stop crying; when I’d realize I was better off without him. But there’s this moment & I know it sounds cliche but you just wake up & you feel different you feel like you can begin again. One morning I woke up and knew Jeremy would never have a hold on me the way he did before, but more importantly I didn’t want him to.

The thing about baggage is that you never realize how much of it you carry around. In fact you assume that more often than not you don’t carry any at all because you’re “over it” or you’ve “moved on”. You’ll find yourself compromising because you just want someone to call at night; that wants only you. “Trust me.” my mother said “There will be others and don’t think that you have to look for them or that you have to settle.” My mother had a way with words. I’m not sure if that’s necessarily a good thing but the fact remains that when she said those words to me I wished she had kept her opinion to herself. I would never settle…..or at least I didn’t think I would.

I knew I didn’t love Benjamin the first time he came inside me & I wished I had never come to his apartment, let alone into his room splayed with dirty laundry that he was “gonna get to”. More importantly I knew I couldn’t love Benjamin, not the way I wanted to at least, when he told me I’m just like my mother. This sounds stupid I know, but let me explain.

After a week of working overtime, my best friend Selene dragged me out of my apartment for a night of bar hopping. Upon walking into our third stop, Benjamin grabbed my hand & told me I was pretty. That was it. There was no drawn out conversation, no playing hard to get, it was very low stakes. I gave him my number & before I got to the next bar he had called & asked when he could see me again. “Tomorrow” I said.

The next evening Benjamin showed up at my apartment with no plan other than to show up. We decided to see a movie.

The movie we saw doesn’t matter. Neither does the fact that we went to the movies. What matters is that after we left the movies, Benjamin grabbed both my hands & kissed me. When he stopped & I looked up at him he said “You taste like stale popcorn”. I thought “what the fuck?” & then he reminded me that we shared a popcorn. Our entirely relationship was like this; constant reminders of things I should have been aware of.

Ben was different from Jeremy because he never lied to me. That doesn’t necessarily mean that’s a good thing though. His honesty was one that I had to grow accustomed to. We had been dating for about two months, when I called him asking if he wanted to get dinner later & he simply replied “no”. No explanation, no rain check, no apology; he just hung up. Later he’d text me & say that we should get breakfast instead the next day because he liked being the first person I talked to in the morning. He never hid anything from me. Girls would text him, telling him how much they “missed him” how much “fun” they used to have & he’d show me his phone while laughing & ask what I thought he should say in his reply. It was almost inconceivable, how much he included me in his decisions when it came to other women. Co-workers would invite him out to dinner & drinks after work, over to their apartments, concerts & he would ask me, not if he could go (because he was going to do what he wanted regardless) or if I wanted to come with, but how I’d feel if he went it with them. We’d be waiting for our heart rates to drop back to normal after sex; our skin still dewy and tingling and he’d say “the last time was better” or “you faked it, but that’s cool” as he got up and ambled to the bathroom & I’d wonder if he had to be so honest with me all the time.

I woke up one day to him sitting at my kitchen table in just some sweatpants, signing a card. Next to him there was a huge bouquet of sunflowers. I walked over to him, fixing my bed hair into a bed bun & when I sat down he was startled. “I didn’t think you’d be up this early” he said & I looked over at the clock on microwave. “It’s after 11……does that even count as early?” I said. He looked up at me, then at the clock, then back at me & shrugged “I guess not”. I asked “Who’s the card for?” & as he sealed it, he handed to me & said “Happy Anniversary Sweetness” with no inflection. My face dropped to the floor, along with the card. “An anniversary?” I thought “have we really been dating a year? Maybe it’s like a six month anniversary? But that’s not even an anniversary!” After a few mental “Fuck!!”’s, I pulled myself together, awkwardly smiled as I picked up the card & opened it. It had been a year since I moved into my own place. In the card he wrote about how happy he was for me; that he knew how big of a deal it was for me to live on my own & he wanted me to know that it was just as important to him. I cried out of relief. He thought I was overwhelmed by his thoughtfulness, primarily because as I closed the card, hugged him, wiped my tears and sniffled into his neck, I whispered “Thank you. This means a lot.”. One year of independence; something I should have been aware of.

The first time he told me he loved me, I opened my mouth to respond & he placed his index finger on my parted lips. “Stop” he said. “Not everything I say deserves or should be met with a response Jenine. I love you. That’s it.” I of course flew into defense. “So I can’t say it back? I can’t love you in return? What kind of bullshit is that Ben? You can’t just say something like that & expect me not to say anything back.” “I never said you can’t say anything back. But think about it baby, I said I love you & your first instinct was to respond. You didn’t even really take the moment in. That’s what I’m saying. I don’t want you to love me back because I love you. I want you to love me because you actually love me.” I felt little, like a child, like I had been put in my place, handled, dealt with, but I wouldn’t let him know. “You’re such an asshole sometimes” I said “but that Benjamin, for your information, is why I love you. Because you’re only an asshole sometimes”.

There are two important things I remember from when I broke up with Ben:

1. It was raining.
2. He told me I should’ve ended us a long time ago.

I came back to the apartment from the gym. As I shook my umbrella walking through the door, Ben sauntered by in his usual attire, house sweats and no shirt, saying “You must love mopping.” in a condescending tone. I happily returned the tone saying “Definitely. I just love it! Can’t get enough.” as I rolled my eyes and the umbrella up, fastening it shut. I walked over to the kitchen & checked the fridge. All that was left was this chicken Parmesan “thing” I had attempted to make three days earlier & it looked like a big pile of mush at that point. I chucked it & decided that take out sounded good. I had a taste for some pad thai so the choice was easy. Picking up my phone & dialing the number I thought it might be a good idea to ask Ben what he wanted but I figured he’d eat whatever I ordered him. So I made the call, ordered Chicken Pad Thai and another peanut sauce dish with shrimp, and hung up. As soon as my phone had ended the call, Benjamin started an argument. “Why would you order food without asking me what I wanted?” he asked me walking out of the bedroom and I replied “I ordered food for us both. No need to say thank you”. He walked towards the window to look out but really it was all dramatics because our window looks directly at the alley behind our building that holds nothing but two dumpsters and a few forgotten cats. “Why would I say thank you to you for doing something I never asked you to do?” he said with his back turned to me “Sometimes” he scoffed, almost laughing, as he looked at the rain collect in the window sill. “Sometimes I don’t get you. Like after all this time you still do shit that irritates me and I wonder why the fuck I still want to lay next to you at night or wake up with you in the morning.” I was sitting on the sofa, absentmindedly playing with the tag on this pillow I bought two years before when he & I had just started dating. He told me the pattern on it reminded him of us; that the lines never intersected. They just changed direction. “Nobody is holding you here Ben. You can leave anytime you’d like.” I said as I picked up the remote & turned on the television.

Thirty-five minutes later I was annoyed that the food hadn’t arrived but also because Ben never left the window. He just stayed there staring at the rain while it sheeted down the window screen and when thunder roared he’d just sigh. “What could be taking this food so long? The place isn’t even that far.” I complained. “It’s the rain Jenine. Everything slows when it rains. People, cars, buses, trains, bikes, they all slow.” He paused “You also might want to factor in the idea that a bunch of people order take out on a night like this.” I answered back “I knew that!……why are you always telling me things as if I don’t know them? As if I’m not aware? It’s just annoying. You’re annoying.” Ben walked away from the window & towards the kitchen counter. He planted his two hands palm down on the counter, hoisted himself up to sit on it, looked at me & said “Maybe it’s not me that annoys you Jenine. Maybe you can’t admit that I’m ever fucking right! I can’t ever make a point without you saying “I knew that!”. If you knew it Jenine…..then why would you say half the shit you say or do half the shit you do.“ I paused the lifetime movie I had been somehow become invested in and pressed a metaphorical "play” on the scene that was unfolding in our living room. “I don’t know Ben. Maybe you’re right” I replied as I sat up, crossed my legs and interlaced my fingers over my knee. “Maybe I can’t handle the fact that you make valid points. Or perhaps it’s the fact that you can’t ever let me be wrong without making me look like a complete ass. You’re always so philosophical. "Oh thee "all knowing Ben!” Ohh he who knows more than anyone!“ I mocked. "It’s insulting. For someone who is just so wise you damn sure don’t know how to do your own fucking laundry, or wash a dish, or aim your penis directly into the bowl when you pee. Stop with the bullshit. We both have our faults.” My phone rang. The food was downstairs.

I threw on my worn out flip flops and shuffled down the 3 flights of stairs. Walking back into the apartment with food in hand, I saw that Ben had returned to the window. He walked over to the kitchen counter where I was standing, taking the food out of the brown paper bag & said “You said your ordered me food.” “I just ordered two things off the menu. I figured we’d just share.” I reasoned. “Right I get that but I don’t like peanuts. You know that. Don’t you? I’ve told you this. I’m sure I have as we’ve been together give or take I don’t know 2 & half years!” “Dammit! I whispered to myself. "I’m sorry. I wasn’t thinking & I was hungry & I’m…..sorry. I’m just sorry.” “It’s fine” he said. “I should’ve just picked something up on the way home. It isn’t the first time you’ve done something like this. You’re like your mother in that way.” “Like my mother? All of this over some take out? Listen, good luck with dinner.” I said as I grabbed a plastic fork at the bottom of the bag & headed back to the sofa. “Yeah, like your mother.” he continued, following me. “You’re always complaining that she never listens to you; that you have to remind her of things you’ve already told her. Yet, here you are never listening to me. It’s not even about the apology. It’s that I just don’t think you’re really sorry at all.” he retorted. “Fair enough.” I said, putting my food down on the coffee table. “You wanna know what I’m really sorry about Ben? Huh? Fine. I’m sorry I moved in with you. I’m sorry I’ve been in this relationship for this long because we’ll never be good enough for one another. You know that right? We’re always going to be like this Ben.” I said, pointing at the pace between with both hands. “It’s never going to be enough that we love each other. There’s gotta be more to love than whatever the fuck we’re doing. I just don’t think this is healthy. I don’t think we’re growing here. Do you?”. “Now that J…that’s the most honest thing you’ve said to me. You’re always saying what you think I want to hear and that’s my problem with you. You never say what the hell you want because you think too much about it. We are growing, it’s just apart from one another.” He sighed, finally saying “Look, I’m tired.” as he walked exhaustedly back towards the bedroom, on an empty stomach & closed the door behind him. I couldn’t figure out if he meant he was tired of us, of the arguing, of never really getting back to how we were or if he was honestly tired.

I slept on the sofa & I use the term “slept” very lightly. What I really did was stare at the ceiling, trying to figure out if this was really it for Ben & I. If that was our last real conversation; if that even counted as a conversation. I planned out what I’d say in the morning after we’d both had time to think & reflect. I’d tell him I was sorry about going off & that it’s not that I don’t want to try to make it work but that I don’t even think trying is worth an actual try. I thought about it & felt like the whole relationship was a perpetual “try”. We’d just kept getting up, dusting each other off, & holding hands until we’d fall again thinking it didn’t matter because we’d fallen together. How many times do you have to fall before you realize that perhaps it isn’t the ground that’s tripping you up? That it might just be you. Do you have to scrape your knees a few times or fall flat on your face? How do you know when you’ve had enough?

I laid there falling in & out of sleep. I had this weird dream that I was baking a cake. I kept checking on it. Ben was there but he didn’t really say much. Finally I took it out of the oven & it was burnt around the edges. He shuffled over to the stovetop & looked at the cake with a somber face. “I told you it was done 10 minutes ago. You should’ve taken it out.” he said & I just stared at him blankly because he was right. I turned the pan over and the cake popped out. I let it cool, frosted it and cut a piece. Jeremy hunched over the counter top and watched me put the cake on a plate with confusion. “You’re just going to eat a burnt cake?” he questioned me. I had just taken my first bite and was going in for a second when I looked up at him and said “It still tastes good so what’s the difference?”. “The difference, Jenine, is that you know the whole cake doesn’t taste good. Only certain parts do. Why don’t you just throw it out and make another one?” he said walking over to the cake, lifting the plate up at different points and angles to get a good look at it. It was as though he was wondering how the frosting did anything but make the cake look even sadder. I licked the last bit of frosting off my fork and said “Because, burnt or not burnt, I still love cake.”

I woke up to a sliver of sunlight shining through the living room across the floor & stopping right at the front door. I sat up & checked the time. It was 7:06. I decided I’d go to the bedroom and get some real rest. I stood up & stumbled towards the bedroom. As soon as I reached the door, Ben was coming out of the room. He was dressed & had 2 bags with him not including the backpack he’d never leave the house without. All of the things I had planned on saying were forgotten. I could barely see straight, let alone gather the words I wanted to say. He looked at me then said “Sorry. Can I just get by?”. “Sure!” I blurted out as I moved to the left, almost jumping. He walked towards the front door & I asked “Umm can at least ask where you’re going?”. He stopped moving and turned, telling me “I thought about what you said J. About us not being enough for one another. I guess I just always thought it would work itself out. But I see what you mean. I don’t know the exact moment when you came to that conclusion, or maybe you decided it, but you should’ve ended us then instead of now. So I’m leaving. I guess I’ll pick up the rest of my stuff over the next couple of weeks.”. That’s it. He was gone. Whatever he had left, the “stuff” he mentioned, was never picked up. They were minuscule items really; a toothbrush, some body wash, a value pack of razors. Things that made you think of him, even though they were all replaceable. It didn’t take long for me to realize that much like the burnt cake, I still loved Ben.

To be continued or whatever…….

Songbird-Ch. 5

Mystic Messenger Mafia AU 

ch1║║ch2║║ch3║║ch4

Word Count: 2,407

[Violence/Murder]

~A/N: I was going to add the smut in this chapter but I decided I would separate it into it’s own, that way people that don’t want to read the NSFW can just skip it! Sorry it’s been soooo long, guys! My life is just hectic so it’s hard for me rn but I hope you enjoy this chapter! 


     "I heard you the first time, Saeyoung,” V spoke softly, his hand gripping the head of his cane as he sat unmoving in the chair.

     “Y’know, a good way to indicate you’ve heard someone is to actually reply. Just a tip,” Saeyoung snapped. “You’re being alarmingly calm about this, considering the shit storm that’s decided to roll it’s way through us.”

     V sighed, though his vacant gaze was unwavering. “I’m anything but calm. However… acting out in hysterics isn’t going to solve our problem. Talking like adults…deciding our next course of action. That’s what gets things done. Point a finger at me again, Saeyoung, and I’ll pop you in the mouth myself.”

     Though they both knew he would never, but still Saeyoung slumped down in the nearest chair with a sour face. V could barely make it out, but he knew the expression well. It had been the same since he was a child. The corners of his mouth pulled down and his brow pinched together with fury, like it’s the last face he’ll ever make, and V tried to hold back a fond smile.

     “Do you have any inkling on who it might be?” Jumin finally spoke up.

     “If I did, I wouldn’t be here talking to you, now, would I?” Saeyoung huffed, not bothering to hide his annoyance.

     “Sorry to interrupt,” an unexpected voice found its way into the room.

     “Jaehee, what is it?” Jumin straightened up as she closed the door behind her.

     Her face held hesitancy and she cleared her throat before finally speaking.

     “It’s about the latest bootleg shipment. Apparently, it’s gone missing,” she reported.

     “What the fuck do you mean, missing?” Saeyoung sat up from his chair.

     “I don’t know how to make it any more clear…” she made a quick glance at Saeyoung before returning her eyes to V. “The truck never made it to the drop point. No one has seen it or heard from the driver.”

     “This is not good,” Jumin hinted.

     “No shit,” Saeyoung said, the look on his face making it clear that his gears were turning.

     The room was silent as a church, everyones eyes on each other as if thinking the same thoughts. They were in good standing with the neighboring families. Everyone knew their territories and happily stuck to them. Plenty of police force names lined their payroll…so why now?

     “It could be the coppers,” Saeyoung said with a serious face.

     “It could,” said V, “it could be a number of things.” Jumin nodded in agreement. “ First things first. Jaehee, bring me more info on this missing shipment. I don’t care if you have to knock down the drivers’ mothers’ door, I want info. Find Frank, see if he’s heard of any recent booze busts.”

     “Of course,” Jaehee nodded and left the room as quickly as she could.

     “Saeyoung,” V continued, “you know what to do. I have my hands full as it is with this wedding situation.”

     “Oh yeah,” Saeyoung peeked through the blinds onto the courtyard. A crew of men were still setting up tents and tables in preparation. “Is this really the best time for this?”

     “It’s Marcos daughter, of course it’s a good time. When things get rough…that’s when we need celebration. There’s no better time to boost morale. Besides, he’s one of our best, and I seem to remember him saving your ass from a pinch more than a few times,” V smiled.

     Jumin decided to chime in. “Like his first soup job?” Both V and Jumin gave a hearty laugh. “Driving around the whole damned city with the safe in the struggle buggy,” Jumin continued, “before Marco showed up to save your ass. And how much did you end up cracking for, again?”

     “You know damn well how much,” Saeyoung sneered.

     “Then there’s no reason you can’t say it. Go ahead, hot shot. Remind us how much you swiped.”

     Saeyoung’s face turned sour, like the words were bile in his throat. “…Ten dollars,” he finally barked.

     Both of the men roared with laughter for a moment at the memory, so much so that Jumin seemed to wipe a tear from his eye.

     “Okay, okay,” V breathed in deeply when he stood from his chair, “leave the poor kid alone. Come on, let’s get some dinner.”

     He began to trail behind Jumin but paused for a moment, placing his hand firmly on the shoulder of Saeyoung and squeezing just once. His body was stiff and serious.

     “I’m trusting in you, Saeyoung. Find that son of a bitch,” V’s voice was almost a whisper, and as quickly as he had faced him he was now turned around, satisfied with his message.

     Saeyoung watched as they left, taking note of the fact that V seemed to be favoring his cane a lot more in the last few days. The weight of what that could mean fixed heavily on his shoulders, but his body remained stiff and strong with his resolve.

****

     There were joyous smiles all around as the sound of Zen’s singing filled the tent. Suddenly everyone was a hoofer, even the tough burly men could be found rolling up their sleeves and dancing with their gals to the music. It was strange to see the cities most dangerous criminals laughing and jabber-jawing, seemingly carefree. You had to admit, even you couldn’t help but get out there, taking Yoosung for a time as your partner. Now you took a break, fondly overlooking the bride with her done-up chestnut hair, her and her groom with goofy smiles as he spun her around.

     “How about that food,” Jaehee walked up beside you.

     “Look at you, all dolled up!” you smiled as you grabbed at the lace of her dress, “is it because…” you gestured with your eyes to Zen.

     “It’s a wedding,” she huffed but a pink tint spread on her face, “last I heard, you were supposed to dress nice,” she said matter-of-factly. “Besides, you don’t look half bad yourself.”

     You gave her a shy thanks before she thrust a bottle into your hands.

     “Say, do me a favor and bring that bottle to my table? They’re dry but…I wanna sit and listen to the rest of this song,” she mused.

     “Whatever you say, boss.”

     The table was half empty, two women you didn’t recognize and a guy you’d seen before on various jobs. He was portly with a kind face, practically jumping for joy when you placed the bottle on the table.

     “Join us, have a drink!” he shouted and poured you a glass quickly, sliding it in front of you as you sat.

     “I’m Betty,” the blonde girl to your left produced a perfect smile. “Isn’t this party just swanky? I’d love to get a look inside that house,” she sighed, sloshing the liquid in her glass before taking a sip.

     “She means inside the bedroom, particularly,” the brunette piped up. She had quite a bit of rouge on, or perhaps she was just that drunk, you couldn’t quite tell. The waves of her hair pressed neatly against her oval face.

     “Will you quit razzing me, already,” the blonde stuck her tongue out.

     “Anthony!”

     The source of the voice was none other than Saeyoung. He and two other men approached the table in earnest.

     “Boss,” Anthony stood from his seat at once.

     Saeyoung gave him a few enthusiastic taps on the cheek as a greeting.

     “You haven’t come to say hi! Now I see why,” he laughed and winked at the ladies sitting in their seats, their bodies leaning in interest at the exchange.

     Saeyoung snatched the glass from Anthony’s hand, draining the contents into his mouth with one solid gulp. He gave an immediate look of disgust, shaking his head as he placed the cup on the table.

     “How can you drink this foot juice,” he pat the man’s broad back, “come on. I got the good stuff inside. You don’t mind if I steal him away, do you, ladies?”

     “Rhatz! No…go ahead,” they both nodded despite their pouty expressions. They were clearly hoping to be invited.  

     “Excuse me, then,” Anthony remarked before being led off by the men.

     Saeyoung tipped his hat to you before joining the other three in a laugh about something you hadn’t quite heard, their voices trailing as they made their way to the house. Something about the way that went made you feel cold. You’d never seen them interact much before. So, while everyone got lined up, occupied with giving their gifts to the happy couple, you decided to sneak off and see what they were up to. You couldn’t miss and opportunity to hear important information, and if anyone caught you, you’d just say you were looking for the powder room.

     Sure you had seen them go around this exact corner, but the grounds among the house were vast and confusing. You’d been here less than a handful of times, and never were you allowed to just wander around V’s house. The sounds of the music and chatter faded more and more, until you found a door slightly ajar.

     Your chest tightened with adrenaline and you stilled your breathing before peeking in the crack. The first thing you saw was Anthony, bloody faced and curled over on the floor, followed by a low hum of voices. A swift kick landed on his chest, the foot belonging to none other than Saeyoung.

     “It’s just like I said,” Antony hacked between his words, “the c-cop is my neighbor…our…our daughters play together…that’s all,” his hand gripped at his chest and his large frame began to shiver with pain. “I don’t know n-nothin about-“

     Saeyoung cut him off, bending down and grabbing Anthony by the collar.

     “You know what I think? I think you’re a fucking liar. I think you know a lot of things, things you might have told that cop friend of yours. And I just can’t have that,” he puffed a heavy breath of air before bringing his fist down thrice on the side of the mans face. “You fucked with my money.”

     It was a pain like no other creeping inside of you. Watching another person get beat, knowing it could be…should be you, instead. The guilt of it all was too much to handle. This man had a wife…a daughter. Sickness threatened to rise up and spill from your mouth.

     Saeyoung pulled a gun, his fingers readying it with a harsh click. Piss soiled the front of Anthony’s pants, streams of pleading words jumbled together through tears. However, the gun pointed swiftly towards the door. Towards you. All you could manage was a gasp before the trigger was pulled.

     The bullet blast through the door just above your head, raining shards of wood into your hair. After taking a moment to remember how to breathe, you kicked the door open, letting your rage take over.

     “Did you seriously just fucking shoot at me?!” you let out an exasperated scream.

     “Depends,” he stood up, dropping a now passed out Anthony back onto the floor and facing you with a calm expression, “did you seriously just fucking eavesdrop.”

     “Are you out of your fucking mind?” you said shakily.

     “Relax,” he drew the word out in a joking manner, “it’s not like I hit you,” he said casually, shrugging his shoulders.

     “She’s right,” another man spoke up, “what if V heard…we’d be in a shit load of-“

     “Ugh,” Saeyoung groaned, “you guys are too serious. No one heard, the music is too loud and they’re all drunk anyway.”

     He nudged at Anthony with his foot, the body still limp and unmoving.

     “Get him out of here and finish him, he smells like piss,” Saeyoung said.

     The two men each carried an end, hastily removing him from the room. And then it was silent for a moment.

     “Are you gunna keep staring at me or you gunna say what you wanna say?” Saeyoung broke the silence.

     “You have blood on your sleeves,” you quietly pointed out.

     Saeyoung inspected his arms. “So I do,” he rolled them up to conceal the stains before grabbing a towel to wipe his knuckles.

     More silence hung heavy in the room.

     “What if you’re wrong?”

     “About?” Saeyoung replied curtly.

     “Anthony. What if you’re wrong…won’t you feel bad?”

     “Now why would I go and feel something like that?” he smiled quizzically.

     “You can’t possibly be that cruel.”

     “And how do you know what I’m like,” he threw the towel before turning to you. “One mans life means nothing in comparison to what we have built. I’ll do what I have to to keep us alive.”

     “Even if that means killing the innocent?”

     “Doll, none of us are innocent.”

     That may be true, but it didn’t mean someone deserved to die. Laws are in place for a reason. The way they operated was barbaric, but of course you couldn’t say that. Not unless you wanted to end up in the same body bag as Anthony.

     “You’re too trusting. That’s how you end up dead, don’t forget that. Why do you care so much how I feel, anyway?” Saeyoung asked, stepping a bit closer to you.

     “I…I don’t know,” you admitted.

     Why did you care? You had a desperate need to know he had some good in him. Something about his character drew you in. Sometimes, when you were together, you could even forget that you both were on opposing sides.

     “Why are you here?” his voice was bold, his feet carrying him even closer to you.

     “I don’t know,” you said once again.

     His hand brushed the soft skin of your cheek, wiping at the rouge. “Are you stuck on me?”

     His face softened and the corners of his mouth formed a small smile. He held still, waiting for you to say something, anything. As much as you wanted to deny it, you couldn’t ignore the rapid beating of your heart at his touch. The look on your face must have said it all.

     Ever so slowly he pressed his lips against yours into a surprisingly gentle kiss. When you didn’t pull away, each kiss became rougher, all the built up tension releasing into this single act. He pressed himself against you and you moaned softly, realizing you had wrapped your hands around his neck at some point and pulled him closer.

Have you seen this gif? I was tagged in a post with this gif (and have since lost that post somewhere in my hoards of likes, oops) and let me tell you, my life was enriched for having seen it.

So here’s an AU:

Graves is a celebrity with everything that entails: tv appearances, photoshoots, even just going up on stage to receive an award. He has a whole team dedicated to managing his life and his appearance including this one guy on the makeup team, this young guy with the curly hair who’s just starting out and is terrified of doing something wrong and getting fired from his first big job.

And honestly, Newt doesn’t mean to get things wrong. But. One of the dogs was sick, and he had to clean it up and stay long enough to make sure she was ok, he couldn’t just leave her until he knew she was alright - but work - but dog - in the end he sneaks Niffler the dog into the back room and hopes no one notices and stammers his way through an apology for being late. And his budgie, little blue and yellow guy called Pickett, he has attachment issues - birds are really intelligent, you know? Much more so than we give them credit for. So Newt sneaks him in and he’s usually so good about staying out of the way, but sometimes he sits on Newt’s ear and preens his tousled mop and that’s just a thing. And the cats, Newt has a lot of cats - to be honest he doesn’t even mean to have a lot of cats but somehow he keeps adopting strays - and do you know how hard it is to get cat hair off your clothes? Hard.

So there’s Newt, stumbling over his words with a bird on his shoulder and cat hair over his clothes and a cocker spaniel hiding in the back room and he’s only meant to be sweeping up and handing people things, that’s all he’s meant to do.

Except Graves points at him and asks him if he’s new. And then, because Newt blushes scarlet and he really is far too cute to overlook, Graves waves him over.

“Show me what you’ve got,” he says with a challenging smirk and Newt kind of just dies? because? Percival fucking Graves is god’s gift to mankind and Newt gets to style his actual hair that’s it, he’s reached nirvana, goodbye budgie-Pickett Newt has ascended to a higher plain.

He doesn’t actually remember much of the experience because he was too busy floating on a cloud of happy (interspersed by random bouts of fear because what if Graves doesn’t like it and Newt gets fired and never gets to touch this amazing man again what will he do) but somehow he ends up waiting in the wings with Niffler the spaniel sitting on his feet and Pickett the budgie on his shoulder and somehow Niffler’s stolen not one but three of the makeup brushes and is chewing on them which probably isn’t good, but Graves is on stage now and that’s all that matters.

“Looking good,” the presenter compliments him, and Graves responds by staring out to the audience and running his tongue over his lip jesus christ Newt has been revived from death-by-hair only to die again how much more can he take.

Except. Except then. Just at the end Graves flicks his gaze to the side and looks Newt straight in the eyes. He finishes with this satisfied little smirk and Newt actually crouches on the floor and hides behind Niffler because holy fucking hell wHAT.

Niffler, the traitor, trots out onto the stage and presents a well chewed brush to Graves while Newt attempts to hide behind a lighting rig and pretend he doesn’t exist.

“A new admirer?” the presenter jokes. “She’s a cutie, isn’t she?”

And Graves, clearly not content with the extent to which Newt’s brain has been scrambled, smiles this beatific, conspiratorial smile as he kneels down and scratches Niffler behind the ear, does he have any idea how much Newt loves people who love his dogs, because it’s a lot, ok, a lot, and says:

“You should see her master, he’s adorable.”

And that. Just. Cannot cope.

Newt out.

Winter Anime Final Impressions

I was supposed to do this like two weeks ago but with Gundam ending so late and me getting swept up with many things, I didn’t have the time, but here’s a quick rundown of the best and worst of the Winter season. I’m gong from best to worst and also since I watched very few shows this season, I ‘m not gonna break them down in best/meh/worst

Showa Genroku Rakugo Shinjuu: Sukeroku Futatabi-hen

A masterpiece to the very end, as heartbreaking as it was full of joy and love. There was this weird insinuation at the end that didn’t sit well with me at all and I’m not sure why they felt the need to do it, but I can overlook it because the rest of the picture is so wonderful and special and heart-wrenching. When Konatsu asked Yakumo to make her his apprentice, I actually cried. What a beautiful show. Don’t let the obscure antique Japanese art keep you from experiencing one of the best anime of this decade.

Ao no Exorcist: Kyoto-hen

I was a bit worried about this one because lately, when an “old” show gets a sequel many years after it last aired, said sequel turns out underwhelming and poorly done. See D.Grayman HALLOW (which also adapted my favorite arc from that manga) and Berserk (production values aside, the decline of this is due to Miura’s gross storytelling, so I guess it was inevitable). But I was more than surprised and ecstatic to see this rendition of the Kyoto arc did justice on the source material, with excellent production values, a good pace and wonderful emotional and action scenes alike. AoEx is one of the finest examples of the battle shonen genre and that translated wonderfully to this new iteration of the anime. I can only hope we’ll see Izumo’s and Shura’s arc eventually too.

ACCA-13-ku Kansatsuka

I was a Little on the fence on this one at the start, but once they laid down all the cards and tied all the loose threads, it became absolutely amazing. I’m sorry I ever doubted you Natsume Ono, your ability to craft smart and fascinating adult stories shall never be questioned again. Definitely worth checking out if you want to try something different to your usual anime genres. Helps that the visuals are really interesting and that Mauve is such a bae. I still feel Jean was the weakest link with his absolute nonchalance, but even that somehow worked at the end. Definitely worth going through the somewhat slow initial episodes.

Yowamushi Pedal: New Generation

NGL i’m not a fan of Kaburagi, he’s so much like Naruko I don’t feel he adds anything to the team. But this is now officially the Teshima show and that compensates for the snooze that is Kaburagi because Teshima has become so fabulous and cool I’m just excited every week to see what he’ll do next. Also the First-year race was a true highlight and I’m very disappointed Sugimoto didn’t make the cut, they did a fantastic job in making him likable, so it was sad to see him lose. Hopefully he’ll get to assist Imaizumi when they’re 3rd years.

Originally posted by animagamefan

Little Witch Academia

This show’s a lot of fun, with really sweet animation and it also sports the Best Girl of the season, Sucy Manbavaaran, although I gotta say there were a bit too many fillerish episodes and it was frustrating to see them take so long to get the plot going. I’m not hating on the show, it is in fact extremely entertaining, but it’s a little lacking on the plot department. Hopefully we’ll get more of that on the second cour.

Classicaloid

I’ve never been happier of not quitting a show as I am about Classicaloid. By episode 3 I was on the verge of giving up because it wasn’t what I had expected, but I kept going and I ended falling so hard in love with this show I’m ecstatic it’s getting a second season. Once I embraced the absurdity, it became the best comedy of the season, and I honestly would watch Schubert’s fishy misadventures for 52 weeks a year. It’s an acquired taste for sure and not easy to recommend, but if you’re willing to let go of all reason, you’re sure to have a good time.

Originally posted by mimimochi

All Out!!

I have a lot of love for this show and its characters (and Sekizan’s ridiculous hair), but I’m afraid the pacing they chose basically doomed them because with the abysmal sales, it seems unlikely we’ll ever see a second season and therefore we’ll never get to see if Jinko does get to Hanazono. It’s a perfectly competent sports series, that does a really good job of developing its huge cast, definitely much better than the likes of Prince of Stride or DAYS, but its inconclusive ending is quite frustrating. I really do hope we get to see more of these boys, but Madhouse’s never been all that good with the whole getting-sequels-done so…

Originally posted by dexicon

Kuzu no Honkai

In spite of its low ranking, this is actually a really good show and a unique take on teenage female sexuality that you wouldn’t normally see in this mostly sexist medium. Hanabi made for a truly interesting protagonist and I liked seeing her explore herself and her relationships. I was however quite disappointed by how little focus we actually had for Hanabi and Mugi’s relationship. I felt there was more telling than showing in that regard, especially in the latter half of the show. The ending was pretty good and mature in spite of everything, and as always, I’m just really fond of all the vaginal imagery in the ED animation. Could’ve done without Moca though.

Originally posted by jyoshikausei

Gundam: Tekketsu Orphans

At the end of the Fall season, I expressed my concern about pointless, meaningless deaths. Clearly the Gundam writers thought I wasn’t concerned enough because the amount of characters that died pointless deaths went on to, I think, the double digits. I wouldn’t have minded the carnage if there had been some sort of payoff to the sacrifices. For example, if Shino hadn’t stupidly and conveniently missed his one shot because the show couldn’t afford to kill Rustal yet. I always felt Orga, Mika and Akihiro had a ton of death flags looming over their heads, but I certainly didn’t expect all three of them to get to the chopping block. Orga’s death was particularly random and pointless, but then again, what they did with Orga in general was very confusing. That he agreed to McGillis’s sketchy propositions to become “king of Mars” never made a whole lot of sense to me and that’s the result we got. I’ll also never get over how creepy and weird the whole Atra giving Mika a baby thing was. In short, I have very mixed feelings about it.

Originally posted by shokugekis

Hand Shakers

I could write thousands of words for everything that was wrong with this series but I think it wouldn’t make justice to the absolute experience that is watching this amazing trainwreck. Go watch it to see a masterclass of how not to anime. Honestly I had such a good time hating this show, it was so horrible in every possible way. Good job GoHands, even animate, who sponsored this show, won’t give it any publicity.

Super Lovers

I’m not sure of how this production team managed to put out 20 episodes of nothing actually happen. Like you just have to give kudos to the writers for managing to simply not do anything over the course of 6~ hours of content. No drama, no decent comedy, no character development, not even relationship development in a BL romance. It’s kind of amazing how pointless the whole thing is. The dog’s still cute and the relationship is still creepy and gross and that’s about all there is to say about this.

Although most of the shows I watched turned out great, it did feel like a weaker season because there wasn’t that much that was interesting (my Wednesdays were literally empty). Or maybe everything looks lackluster in this post-Yuri on Ice world D: But there was Rakugo and rakugo is good and I’m glad we live in an age in which such a niche, quiet and adult artistic show could be made and tell a complete story.

Stop the press!

Forget everything you’ve ever learned about the tale of how the propane bombs were planted at Columbine High. We all know how slick and cool REB and VoDkA  came across in the famous scene of Zero Hour. They strolled into the Commons with fierce purpose shrouded in their uber school shooter dark aesthetic: black trench coats, combat boots and shades carrying their pièce de résistance bombs in their “bags of terrorism” (yes, they referred to them as that).  Casually kneeling down and setting their instruments of terror with ease right in front of their peers. 

But in reality?  

Well, reality paints a very different picture demonstrating how banal the entire thing looked. Amazingly ordinary and casual..yet as we’ll later learn, they almost look a little too slow pokey considering their very tight schedule.

I lightened these images up and sharpened them as well.

‘Eric’ approaching the column from the left
wobbling a bit with his orange gym bag held in his right hand

A wild ‘Dylan’ lopes forth approaching the column from the left
carrying his navy blue gym bag in his left hand

slowed down…

Here be some ordinary looking dudes hauling their heavy but lethal gym bags near the columns in the cafeteria. ‘Eric’s’ small frame is struggling a slight bit barely managing to prevent the bag from coming into contact with objects or people walking by. The two are having no trouble being themselves, looking effortlessly awkward yet casual af while ironically implementing something deadly.. 

Of course, we didn’t really expect that level of dramatic professionalism from Eric and Dylan now did we?  Nah.. Not really.  

This is going to be long. so read on under the cut. :)   

Keep reading

Ease - Part 14

Genreangst/fluff

Pairingreader/taehyung

Length: 5.4k

SummaryYou and your best friend Taehyung have recently got into the same university in the capital of Seoul. Hoping that this was your year to finally admit your romantic feelings towards your said best friend, uni seems an exciting prospect. But of course, the future never really goes according to plan.

1 ♡ 2 3 4 5 ♡ 6 7 ♡ 8 ♡ 9 ♡ 10 11 ♡ 12 ♡ 13 ♡ 14 ♡ 15 ♡16 ♡ 17 ♡ 18 ♡ 19 - End ♡ Moodboard     

Jin had taken you to a hill. Granted, it had great views over the city, but when the small car pulled up by the grass, you began wondering if Jin had actually gone mad. The night was slightly cloudy, but every now and then the moon would appear through the mist, outlining the shapes of trees and bushes that framed the hills.

“Why have you brought us here?” Jungkook asked, jumping out the car and pulling his jacket tighter around him.

“Clear our headspace,” was all Jin said, before hopping round to the back to pull out blankets and cushions that he’d stored away. “Come on, help me get this lot out.”

As a group, you heaved mounds of blankets to an even spot that overlooked the city, not too far from the sloping edges of the hill that ran down into the trees. You had to admit, the night was colder than you’d anticipated. Settling down, you felt the grass tickle the exposed skin that wasn’t on the blanket, and the chill of the air nipped at your nose and ears.

“It’s so cold,” Taehyung complained, “I’m going to get sick! Do you want me to pass on a bug around our house? I’m all for sharing.”

You didn’t need to look at Taehyung to know he was deliberately stirring for trouble, as despite his moaning and grumbling, it wasn’t cold enough to freeze. However, Jin seemed well aware of Taehyung’s tactics and bluntly ignored him, sitting next to Jungkook with his back turned.

“If anyone wants to get anything off their chest, now’s the time,” beamed Jin, looking around at the rest of you in satisfaction. Although he was trying his best to get you all to open up, you didn’t feel like questioning Taehyung about the note you’d found in front of everyone.

“I have something,” perked up Taehyung, his soft voice carrying clearly through the quiet air.

Jin looked slightly surprised, but he tried not to let it show as he encouraged Taehyung on. “Go on then, Taehyungie. What’s bothering you?”

“You promise you won’t get annoyed with me?”

“Of course not.”

“Well, what’s really bothering me is… I’m cold.”

It took a few moments for it to sink in, but after Jin realised that there was no real problem, he leapt to his feet in anger. “Taehyung!

Taehyung was up like a shot and bolting it down the hill, with Jin hot on his heels. The yells from the younger boy could be heard for a while afterwards as he was chased around the grass, creating good entertainment for you, Namjoon, and Jungkook while you sat peacefully swathed in blankets.

“Why are you still chasing me?” you heard Taehyung bellow from somewhere out of sight.

“It’s making me feel better!” came Jin’s reply.

There was a gentle silence after the yelling stopped, where everything was still. The small wind toyed with the trees, letting them whisper. Namjoon sighed as he fidgeted around, getting comfortable on the ground and sucking in air through his teeth, staring wistfully at the horizon.

“What are you thinking about?” you asked curiously.

He shook his head, blinking his eyes quickly. “Nothing. Just… I said something today to someone.” He laughed briefly, as if he realised how silly the situation was. “Had a little argument about it, actually. I told him he was wrong, but thinking back on it, I shouldn’t have gotten so annoyed.”

“Was that your argument with Taehyung?” Jungkook interjected.

“Yeah,” he muttered regretfully. When he spotted your concerned gaze, he patted your arm. “Don’t worry, it wasn’t anything serious, I promise. Taehyung’s one of those people that doesn’t change their mind once it’s set, which I’m sure you’re aware of. I tried telling him that he wasn’t right, and it didn’t go down very well. Obviously, to him, he couldn’t understand my point of view, and I’m starting to realise why.”

“Why? Was he right, in the end?” you questioned.

“He was very wrong.”

“Still not understanding.”

“I think it’s because the way he perceives something isn’t the way I perceive it,” he explained slowly, trying to display his thoughts in a logical manner. “He’s experienced different things in his life, and learnt different things because of it. So, the way I see things is different to how he sees things. Make sense? Take Jin, for example,” he pointed, as the older boy flopped onto the grass from exhaustion, lying with Taehyung a little way in front of where you sat. “Most people see him as the leader because he’s the oldest, whilst we see him as more of a child because we’ve lived with him, so we perceive him differently. Due to experience, we have an alternate window of knowledge. When Taehyung said something untrue, I didn’t listen to him, but to him, it was true. It’s just… perception.”

You nodded along to what Namjoon was saying, while Jungkook remained unmoving, biting at the inside of his lip with his eyes focused on the grass. He was listening, but like usual, you couldn’t tell what he was thinking.

“That’s very wise of you, Namjoon,” you commented, picking at the fraying edges of the blanket.

He just shrugged in modesty, a mischievous smile on his lips. “But let me just get this clear: he’s wrong, I’m right. He just doesn’t know it yet.”

Something about the night air, the sprawling, tranquil city below, and Namjoon’s words created a strong sense of being within you. There was a complacency that wasn’t there before, and you finally understood why Jin thought a midnight view was a good idea. You understood Jin’s perception, you thought with a laugh. You shook your head, clearing your head. You never thought you’d see the day where you understood Namjoon’s existential speeches, and you weren’t about to start then.

“What did you argue about?” Jungkook asked flatly. You turned to look at him as you heard the uninterested tone, and as anticipated, his expression was vacant. Jungkook was a mystery; some things never affected him, and you were glad of his company when your life took a turn for the worse, but other times there was no way of reaching out to him. He hid behind an indifferent mask and retreated into his shell. Discomforted, you looked away.

Namjoon, however, didn’t reply, and you weren’t sure whether it was because he didn’t want to answer, or the fact that Jin was making his way up the hill, puffing slightly from the excursion.

“Taehyung’s tired and he’s given up somewhere over there,” he reported, “but he’s now warm, thank goodness. I suggest someone bring him blankets, though, before he cools down again.”

Namjoon moved across so that he was sat next to Jin, leaving you alone with Jungkook. Slowly and cautiously, you laid your hand on his arm in an attempt to gain his attention. Fortunately, Jungkook snapped out of his expressionless state to give you a bewildered glance. You smiled in comfort as he did the same, but his was a fake smile, one that hid pain and hurt. It struck you hard in the chest, seeing him so fragile and timid.

“Jungkook, what’s the matter? You seem upset.” At your words, there was a brief flicker of surprise that crossed his features, but he quickly covered it up.

“Nothing, I’m just… tired,” he lied.

“You’re shutting me off,” you said quietly. “Obviously, if it’s bothering you, I want to help. You help me all the time, and now it’s my turn.”

Jungkook breathed in heavily through his nose, before expelling the air out of his mouth. Swallowing forcefully, he met your eyes, fixing you with a determined stare that you couldn’t tear away from. His body was still tense and rigid, but his throat bobbed up and down, preparing himself to speak.

“Do you think this is going to work between us?” he asked dubiously, carefully monitoring your face for your reaction. “I really, really, want this to work, but I get a feeling that it won’t.”

Your heart rate had picked up pace, and you could feel your legs beginning to go numb at the shock. Was Jungkook beginning to have doubts, too? Although you had many moments where you questioned whether you should’ve let Jungkook into your love life, the answer would invariably be yes. He wasn’t perfect for you in many ways, but it gave you time to think about your relationship with Taehyung and you enjoyed being in Jungkook’s company. But whether it was going to work? You had no idea. And that terrified you.

“What m-makes you ask that?” you asked, stuttering slightly. Jungkook’s arm was warm under your touch, but your palms began to burn.

He just sighed and shrugged his shoulders as a noncommittal reply, trailing his eyes down to your lap. “I guess it feels like I like you more than you could ever like me,” he breathed weakly. “I’ve been readying myself ever since I first started liking you, readying myself to move on at any given moment. I didn’t want to intrude on what you and Taehyung had, but I found myself doing it anyway. I couldn’t stop myself. Here I am, exactly where I hoped I wouldn’t be.” He laughed brightly, but his eyes didn’t turn into crescents like they usually did and he laughed for too long for it to be natural.

“The reason why I didn’t want to be an official couple is because I didn’t want to hurt you like this,” you said. The rock in your stomach grew heavy with every passing word. “Jungkook, I love Taehyung, you know that. And I swore I would try to get to know you better, to see if I could love you the same. I think you’re cute and generous and talented, and I’m certain that if Taehyung wasn’t in the picture, I would’ve fancied you straightaway.”

The sadness on his face was evident now, and if your eyes weren’t deceiving you, he looked regretful. “Let’s talk about this later. Taehyung looks like he wants to talk to you.”

Jungkook pointed towards the slope of the hill, and from the light of the city, you could just about make out Taehyung’s head popping out over the ridge. When he realised he’d been spotted, his eyes widened and he disappeared again, caught in the act. It was almost comical, and you would’ve laughed if your heart wasn’t slowly being crushed from the weight of guilt.

“He’s not avoiding you like I thought he’d be,” Jungkook stated, now looking at the hand that you’d laid across his arm. “He’s practically itching to say something to you.”

“Who says that I want to speak to him?” you said defensively, knowing full well that you were aching to do exactly that.

Jungkook nudged you with his elbow, which was enough to indicate that he knew better. “Come on, you always have that lost look on your face whenever Taehyung is mentioned.”

“But Guk, I do like you. You’ve been a wonderful friend to me. I just think you’re suppressing something, and you don’t want anyone to find out.” Biting your lip shyly, you added, “You close up.”

“I’m not used to being in a relationship, or even close to it, like whatever we have,” he muttered, almost inaudibly as Jin and Namjoon’s conversation lulled into silence. “I don’t talk to people about my feelings, I never have done, so it’s new for me. You’ve had Taehyung. I find it difficult to- well, you get the idea. I can’t open up. It’s always been that way until I met… you.”

A bubble of emotion welled up in your lungs, making it hard for you to keep your breathing even. It made sense why Jungkook was so unattached to his feelings, but you couldn’t believe it. Had he really only begun to open up because of you?

“I’m still discovering things about myself every day, so thank you,” he said with a sense of finality. With a heavy heart, you returned his smile, noticing how his had become more sincere. “Now, go talk to Taehyung, before he breaks his neck trying to watch us.”

“Jungkook,” you began seriously, “I’m sorry I haven’t been everything you’d hoped I’d be. I’ll try harder, I promise. We’ll work on it, I’ll work on it. I don’t want you to ever feel like you’re not important to me, because I swear you are.”

“Thanks,” he mumbled. “We’ll talk more about this later, okay? Because Taehyung is starting to creep me out.”

“I’m going, I’m going,” you laughed. “But I want you to know that you’re not intruding on anything. How I feel is not your fault.”

You squeezed his arm gratefully, refraining yourself from hugging him. Although you felt terrible for making him feel unwanted, he’d shared more than he’d done before in his life, and you didn’t want to overdo it by making it a big deal. Instead, you watched Taehyung’s mop of hair disappear over the brow of the hill as he hid from view again.

Grabbing the thickest blanket you could find from the pile leftover, you wandered down the hill, staggering slightly as you hit hidden rabbit holes in the dark. You sincerely wished Hoseok or Yoongi was there with you, as they always had the best advice for any of your Jungkook or Taehyung problems. What would they say in this situation? They’d probably tell you to be honest, and not lie to yourself to spare someone’s feelings. But you were being honest. As much as you loved Taehyung, you definitely had a soft spot for Jungkook and wanted to give things a go, no matter how many times you worried about making the wrong choice.

Pausing on your way down, you peered over your shoulder to get a glimpse of Jungkook. He’d moved over to Namjoon and was laughing along with Jin, as if your conversation never happened. However, he caught your eye as you stared in wonder, and he quickly motioned for you to continue walking. You studied his smile to see if he was only pretending to be okay, but it seemed authentic enough. Jungkook confused you, to say the least.

Plodding down the hill, you became worried that you’d twist your ankle before you found your friend. However, you finally caught Taehyung lying flat out on the grass, still as a statue as he pretended he wasn’t there. In one quick motion, you threw the blanket over his face, mainly just to annoy him.

“I do not deserve this mistreatment,” he said, his voice muffled, jumping slightly at your sudden arrival.

Laughing, you helped him sit up and organise the blanket so that you were both huddled underneath. It was big enough so that you didn’t have to squash together, but just small enough that you could feel his arm brushing against yours.

Ahh,” he breathed, his eyes twinkling from the lights. A soft smile played across his lips, and you couldn’t help watching, captivated. It felt so long since you’d last been near him, when in fact, it hadn’t been too long since you’d decided to keep your distance.

“Can’t take your eyes off me?” he asked cheekily, and you realised he’d been watching you out of the corner of his eye.

Blushing, you turned your attention back on the buildings. “I was just looking at the food hanging off your chin.”

He didn’t move at first, but as he grew more paranoid, he subtly wiped his chin with the back of his hand, just in case. You smiled smugly as he sighed in irritation after finding nothing there.

“Why did you suddenly decide to talk to me again?” he asked, not bothering to edge into the conversation, nor to keep the curiosity out of his voice. “You seemed so set on this ‘time apart’ thing. What changed your mind? Did Jungkook say anything?”

“I’m giving Jungkook a hard time at the moment,” you admitted. “He knew that I didn’t like not talking to you. Nothing I seem to be doing is making him happy. I don’t think relationships are meant to be like that, somehow.”

“You can’t please everybody.”

“I’ve been ‘seeing him’ for barely a month, and I don’t think it’s had the best of starts, either. It’s all because of me.”

Taehyung didn’t reply, but he looked saddened by your response. There was a tension between you that you’d never felt before, as if one wrong word would cause sparks to fly. It was a foreign experience, so you were unsure as to how to continue talking. Something told you that you shouldn’t have brought up Jungkook, but it was already plaguing your mind and you couldn’t help it.

Taehyung cleared his throat, amplifying the cutting atmosphere that you’d created. Luckily, however, he changed the subject, his voice deeper than usual. “I actually thought you were going to drop me completely. I came to your house one morning to talk it through, but you weren’t in. I wanted to say that it was stupid, and that you shouldn’t listen to everything Jungkook says. Even if you had been in, I probably wouldn’t have said those things anyway. I find it hard to be mad at you sometimes.” He laughed bitterly, trying to throw off the sincerity of his statement.

“If I had dropped you, you would’ve deserved it, you know,” you muttered. “You did leave me for Yeji several times.”

“Okay, okay,” he laughed, genuinely this time. “We’ll call it even?”

“Deal.”

Again, another silence fell that was too awkward for comfort. So much had changed between you, while everything had stayed the same. You were still Y/N and Taehyung, but you were also Y/N and Taehyung with confused feelings, heartbreak, and a whole lot of misunderstanding. The boy sitting next to you was the same one who made up fibs to the teacher as to why you were running late, gave you his drink when a fly landed in yours, and was the same boy who you’d fallen head over heels in love for. But he’d changed in many ways, and so had you.

Maybe that was why you sat there, neither of you speaking, trying to conjure up the right phrases to say. But nothing sounded right. Every thought that came into your head was either too childish, too dramatic, or too offhand. You both wanted this friendship, so why was it so hard to talk?

Instead, you decided to pull out the piece of paper stuck to the underside of a desk and give it to Taehyung, letting it flutter onto his lap. He watched it fall and then stared at it for a few seconds, as if he was trying to remember where he’d seen it before.

You had no choice but to pluck up the courage and ask him. “When did you write this? Why did you write this?”

Taehyung pulled the blanket up to his chin, letting the note slide onto the grass. Hastily, you picked it up, not wanting it to be caught up by the wind.

“I put it there before we had that argument at Cupcake Corner, and after I came around your house. I always knew you were thorough and like to get jobs done properly, so I put it there knowing you’d find it eventually. I can’t say nice things to your face, so I wrote it down. You’re too ugly, you see. I change my mind about compliments when I see your face.”

You pushed him backwards roughly so that he fell with a heavy thud. He let out a small yell at the abruptness, but he giggled contentedly while lying on his back. “Don’t make me bring out those photos of you with a balloon face,” you warned.

“Yah, I had an allergic reaction!”

Rolling your eyes, you looked into the distance and waited for his laughing to die down. When he sat back up again, you continued, finally finding the right words to say. “Taehyung, I want to say thank you for giving me space to think. I meant what I said in the text, because I realise now why I missed you. The actual reason why. It’s not just to do with romantic things; it’s so much more than that. I think Jungkook is beginning to understand he’s never going to have my full attention, because you’ll always be there at the back of my mind.”

“I messed up, too,” Taehyung admitted, falling serious. “I feel like I’m always messing up when it comes to you. From everything that happened to Yeji, to not trying hard enough to keep in contact. It’s all become so stressful because I think I should’ve done this or should’ve said that, but I’ve never wanted to be that selfish friend who only wants you to myself. I keep messing up.

It was rare to see such raw vulnerability coming from Taehyung, and it made you happy to know that he was able to be so open and honest.

“You can’t have gone too far wrong, because for some reason, I still keep coming back to you.” You lightheartedly poked his cheek, watching the familiar boxy grin spread across it as a result. “Even if you do go wrong somewhere, you can always turn things around. And I think you’ve worked pretty hard to try and do that.”

“Thanks,” he smiled proudly. “Although, it has got me wondering… what do you want from the future? For us? Because I know you still like me, but you’re with Jungkook now.”

You thought about it for a while, not expecting that question to come up. “Haven’t really thought about it,” you said truthfully. You liked Jungkook, but any feelings you had for Taehyung were ten times stronger. The images of Jungkook’s pain-stricken face flashed across your mind as he told you that he liked you more than you liked him. It gnawed at your mind, clawing at it. Perhaps you hadn’t done the right thing at all.

“Okay, an easier question: what do you regret, and how you want the future to be different?”

“Easy,” you nodded, relieved that you didn’t have to answer. “I wish I didn’t like you. Why couldn’t you’ve been an asshole?”

In indignation, Taehyung grabbed a handful of grass and yanked it out of the ground, pulling up lumps of dirt with it, and then proceeded to throw it over your head. Without a second thought, you copied him, decorating his pale orange hair with dots of green. It didn’t last long, as Taehyung began whining about grass going down his back.

“Oh, stop complaining,” you scolded, satisfied that you’d won. “Ooh, I’ve got an idea! To complete the nature look, flowers are a must.” Picking out a few daises from the smattering in the grass, you pushed the stems into his hair, adding a touch of yellow and white.

In fact, you were so pleased with your idea, you kept going, adding more and more daisies to Taehyung’s head. All the while, he gave you a sullen look, crossing his arms in a fake temper.

“They’re going to fall out,” he moaned. “It’s making me look silly.”

“Shh, let me finish my masterpiece.”

As you worked on his hair, you suddenly noticed that Taehyung had been staring at you for a few minutes, watching you stick your tongue out as you concentrated. Embarrassed, you closed your mouth, keeping your eyes off his. Your heart began beating a little faster, and your hands became slightly unsteady.

“Y/N,” he said softly, his warm breath tingling against your skin. You almost sat back as you realised how close the proximity was, but trying to act nonchalant, you continued planting more daisies. “I don’t want you to think I was shunning you.”

“What?”

“I understand what it meant to you to tell me that you like me. The whole Yeji situation disorientated me a little, so I haven’t got the right words to say to you right now. But I want you to know that I’m grateful that you told me, and we will talk about it properly sometime.”

You thought about Jungkook, and how you were unable to give him a straight answer when he asked you if you liked him back. Nothing was ever that straightforward, so you had learnt. “It doesn’t matter,” you replied, adding one last flower to the bouquet atop Taehyung’s head. “Things like that take time.”

“Thanks for understanding,” he said gratefully, blowing his fringe out of his eyes. “I meant what I said in that note. You make me a lot happier than I realise.”

You nodded in agreement, and for a while, you stayed like that, staring at each other underneath the moonlight. Your heart rate still hadn’t gone back to its usual pace, and looking into his shining brown eyes wasn’t helping. It wasn’t making you nervous or scared, but it created a fizzing inside your chest, telling you that you were utterly, completely, stupidly happy. Through the years, you’d been denying this feeling because it was too strong for you to handle. But even when you knew that this moment was nothing, you couldn’t get rid of that sickening hope rising in your heart.

“Y/N, there’s something important I was going to tell you in the cupcake shop, before-”

“We’re going home, guys!” Jin yells, cutting Taehyung off.

Disappointment flooded your veins, but you disregarded it as you walked back up the hill to rejoin Jungkook. If it was that important, he would’ve told you already, you told yourself firmly.

In the car, everyone had swapped places so that Jungkook was now in the middle seat next to you, and Taehyung sat in the passenger seat in the front. It was dead on the way back, as Namjoon and Taehyung had fallen asleep, and Jin had stuck on a playlist with songs that neither you or Jungkook knew. Furthermore, you had a funny feeling that Jungkook had been watching you the whole time you were on the hill, and knew more than he let on.

Sighing quietly, you leant against the cool glass of the window, tired and slightly hungry. As Jin drove, you watched the wilting flowers fall out of Taehyung’s hair.


The next day, you’d arranged to meet Jungkook at the park, as he’d sent you an urgent message telling you that he needed to talk. If you were being honest with yourself, you weren’t worried as to what it could be, but that might have been because you were exhausted from your midnight rambles and you barely got any sleep due to overthinking the night’s events.

What Jungkook had said to you stuck with you all the way home, and was still bothering you the next morning. However, you were eager to talk it through, even if it was a painful conversation to have.

Walking down the stony path, you spotted Jungkook sitting on a bench overlooking a few boys playing with a football. He jumped up in alarm when he saw you, looking on edge and somewhat paler than usual.

“Jungkook!” you greeted happily, determined to make up for last night. “You wanted to talk?”

He wasted no time in jumping straight into it, looking you directly in the eye with a set confidence. “I’ve been thinking about what I said last night,” he began purposefully, ruffling the back of his hair with his hand. “Also, what you said as well. You said you wanted to make it work, too, but I saw you with Taehyung…”

You nodded, your suspicions confirmed. He had definitely been watching you.

“…and it made me think of what Namjoon said.”

“Let’s sit down,” you suggested, gesturing to the bench.

Your trivial interruption seemed to throw him off slightly, as he began hesitating and stumbling over his words. “Oh, erm… yeah, okay.”

You plonked down heavily, panic starting to settle in. Jungkook was usually very calm and self-assured, and only got this rattled when he talked about… love.

“Namjoon made me notice how you and I must see things differently. I’ve always seen your friendship with Taehyung as exactly that: a friendship. But when you were talking, it didn’t feel like I was watching two friends talking. There’s a vibe between you that I can’t quite put my finger on. So, that’s why I think it’s best if we quit while we’re ahead.”

“I’m sorry?” you spluttered.

Jungkook just smiled, a small blush creeping up his neck as he ploughed on. “Our personalities clash way too much, and I know you’ve noticed that as well. Plus, it’s not fair of me to pull you away from Taehyung. The way you look at him… it’s incomparable. We could push for something, could try harder to make things work, but I don’t think it’s meant to be.”

Although Jungkook’s words rang true, there was no denying the shattering feeling in your heart where hope had once lived. “But I thought you liked me,” you said quietly, not caring how childish you sounded. “I thought you wanted to be with me.”

“I do,” Jungkook swallowed, breathing heavily through his nose, “but it’s not fair to pull you away from Taehyung. I was wrong. I can’t force you to not like him; it’s just who you are. I thought maybe you could learn to love me, and things would work themselves out. What we have between us… it’s nothing to what you and Taehyung have. I see it. I chose to ignore it, and again, that’s my fault. I’m sorry for making you try to be someone you’re not. Besides, it feels weird to not have Taehyung come home and talk about you for fifteen minutes every day.”

“But you weren’t making me be someone else,” you argued, on the edge of tears now. “I need to move on from Taehyung, because otherwise, I’m just going to get hurt again when he finds some other person to love.” Your pitch was rising as you became more and more distraught, but Jungkook grabbed your hand tightly.

“This wasn’t the right way to go about it. Also, you haven’t even tried to get with Taehyung! He’s single, you’re single. And I’m more than happy to help you.”

He gave you a toothy grin, and you were surprised to see that there was no trace of a mask being put on. He seemed genuinely at ease, now that he’d got the hard words out of the way.

“Why do you still want to help me? Wouldn’t that hurt you?” you sniffed.

He chuckled, rubbing your hand with his thumb. “You’ve taught me a lot of things, Y/N,” he said softly. “One of those things is that you need to be honest with yourself if you want to be happy. Another thing is that you can’t avoid your feelings forever. I need to find peace in that.”

You didn’t understand what he meant at all, but you were too busy trying to keep tears from falling that you didn’t question it. Instead, you both stared at the boys playing football, and through your bleary vision, you recognised the pale orange hair bouncing alongside a shock of silver.

“Who’s Taehyung with again? We met him at the spring market,” asked Jungkook suddenly.

“Jimin,” you mumbled. “He’s been friends with Taehyung longer than I have.”

“That’s perfect, then,” he beamed, turning back to you. “I’m sure I can get Jimin to help us.”

“I need some time, Guk.” Even though you were aware that you and Jungkook weren’t well matched, the shock of the curt ending to your budding relationship stung a little. You weren’t ready to jump into pursuing another man, least of all the person you could only dream of being with.

“That’s fine,” he nodded. He lifted his arms uncertainly, unsure whether a hug was appropriate or not, but you buried your head into his chest gratefully. “You taught me a lot about love,” he murmured into your hair. “Even though you couldn’t give it to me.”

You weren’t wholly certain whether to be pleased or not. Either way, it didn’t matter, as the tears had eventually tumbled out, and you broke down entirely.

Help Me {Soulmate AU} {Part 2} [D.M.]

Character: Draco Malfoy
Word Count: 1267
Requested?: Yes/No
Summary: Soulmate AU where whatever Y/n writes on her skin also appears on her soulmate’s skin. Draco is determined to find the girl who is begging to be saved from herself.
WARNINGS: Do not read if you are triggered by depressive thoughts.
Other parts: Part 1 Part 2
Disclaimer: Gif isn’t mine, credit to whoever made it
Tags: @xoxoaudreymarie

+ + + + +

He swore to himself, glaring down at the ink covering his hand. His heart was pounding, but maybe that was just a side effect from finally finding out the identity of his soulmate.

Why did it have to be you?

He pulled his sleeve down, trying to hide the markings, hoping somehow this was all a misunderstanding, that it was a joke. He knew though, he knew it was real.

How could this be happening to him? A muggleborn as his soulmate, whoever heard of such a thing? His heart clenched at the idea.

What would his parents say?

He thought of you, and the way your hair fell, framing your face perfectly (though he’d never admit that out loud), and the way your eyes used to sparkle, but lately they’d looked dull.

He’d had an insight to your thoughts through the messaging back and forth, but never had he even dreamt that it would be you on the other side.

At least now he had an idea of why you hadn’t seemed like yourself for the past however many months. He had meant what he said - he wanted to help his soulmate out.

But now he knew his soulmate was you, did he still want to help?

***

Your thoughts swarmed around your head like wasps, shutting you away from the rest of the world. Each separate thought felt like a sting on the inside of your skull, a painful reminder of how awful the world really was.

You couldn’t focus on anything going on around you; it was as if there was no sound, and many distorted figures moving.

“Y/n!”

“Huh?” You looked up, suddenly aware of the fact you were sat in the Great Hall, surrounded by your housemates.

“Are you okay, you looked out of it there,” a girl asked, frowning a little. If you were more focused, maybe you’d be able to remember her name. You nodded, sighing under your breath before standing up and walking in an almost ghost-like manner to the exit.

What you weren’t expecting when you left the Hall was to see the platinum blonde that you had been trying to abstain from being in the company of. Your heart jolted as you ducked behind a pillar, hoping he hadn’t seen you.

“Y/n! Will you stop avoiding me? You can’t do this forever,” a voice said. You close your eyes and sighed, feeling defeated. “I can try,” you replied as you moved back out into the open.

“I don’t understand why you’re trying to stay away from me. Obviously you’re not happy about this, but neither am I! Do you know how this will affect me? You’re a mudblood! This isn’t fair at all! My soulmate is a mudblood, who has barely any friends! You don’t understand what this will do to my status!” Draco complained like a child, looking exceedingly irritated.

I don’t understand? You’re the one who doesn’t understand, Malfoy. You’ll never understand anything. So your soulmate is a muggleborn? So what? At least your soulmate isn’t a condescending git who doesn’t care about anyone but himself!” You grumbled, crossing your arms over your chest.

“Of all the people it could have been, why did it have to be you?” He asked, as if you knew the answer, “It’s not fair. This is by far the lowest point of my entire life.”

“Oh give me a break, you spoilt little rich boy! You’ll never know what it’s like to have a hard life! You’ve always had everything done for you, and you’ve ruined everybody else’s happiness. Do you know how excited I was when I first started Hogwarts? Imagine, you’ve spent your whole life thinking magic isn’t real, and then suddenly you’re told, ‘hey, you’re a witch!’ So you pack your bags, and you head to this giant castle, and you’re happy.

Then you arrive, and you realise there are people that actually think you’re not as good as them, because of something you can’t even control - who your parents are. And you get called a mudblood, and a blood traitor, and you have no idea what you ever did to deserve it, but apparently you’ve done something because the blonde boy who everyone seems to bow down to seems to hate you!

Fast forward a couple of years, and you’re close to a breakdown, you’re on the edge. You cling to the one good thing you have left, the last good thing - your soulmate - and they turn out to be the person you hate most in the world, that same blonde boy who encouraged everyone else to hate on you in your first year.

So no, no this isn’t fair. And I’m sorry I’m not who you wanted me to be, but you’re not the victim here, so stop acting like it,” your voice dropped to nearly a whisper by the end, as you turned around and began to walk off.

“Wait, Y/n!” You heard him shout after you, but you ignored him as your pace quickened to escape his company.

***

I’m sorry, okay?

You had been staring at your hand for almost 10 minutes now, your heart thumping hard as you read the three words over and over.

How were you supposed to reply to that?

The quill hovered over your hand as you contemplated the best response.

Doesn’t matter, it’s okay.

It was a lie, but it was the best you could come up with at this moment in time.

It’s not okay though

You didn’t respond, you just watched as the words suddenly disappeared, as if they were being wiped away.

Meet me in the Astronomy Tower. Properly, this time. I wa need to talk to you. In person.

You pursed your lips and sighed. There was no harm in going, right? With any luck, he’d apologise in person. You shook your head to yourself. Best not get your hopes up.

Fine.

***

The silence was almost overwhelming, and you wondered whether it was just a prank, that he wasn’t actually going to show up. You almost felt relieved when you saw the familiar head of blonde hair emerging from the darkness.

“You came,” he breathed out, sounding a little on the shocked side. “Yeah. Now what did you want to say?” You asked, trying to get straight to the point so you could go back to bed.

“Look, I know I was a git before, but please just overlook that. I was shocked, okay? I didn’t.. I mean I hadn’t accepted that you were soulmate yet. What I asked you here for.. was to ask you… well, can’t we work this out? It’s not going to be easy, I know, but we can do this. You’re my bloody soulmate, after all! The universe clearly wants us to be together, for whatever mixed-up reason. I’m willing to try, if you are. I know you hate me - I’m not exactly fond of you either - but we can make this work. What do you say?” Draco suggested, looking directly at you.

You looked away, bringing your bottom lip between your teeth as you debated the options in your head.

He had helped you out a lot in the past few weeks, though he didn’t know who you were. Was there a chance he’d be able to help more?

With that in mind, you looked up into his blue-grey eyes and nodded, “Okay. We can try and work it out.” He smiled at you - a real, genuine smile that almost - almost - made your heart flutter.

Maybe, against all odds, you could work this out after all.

I am making a separate post because I don’t want to reblog someone else’s post that is already pretty long and then add to it. So please don’t think that this post is passive aggressive. 

First let me start by saying that everyone and every couple in VK has at times paralleled in some way or another. So as I said before parallels abound in VK. They are all over the place. But the question is who is meant to parallel who the most? How are we meant to see it? How does Hino want us to see it?

There are some things that I personally think are obvious. But like I said there are still times when even Zero and Kaname have paralleled each other. So Hino has a thing for parallels in order to show how actions and beliefs change your outcome depending on how you deal with your lot in life.

Now to get to it.

Juuri and Yuuki represent light in VK. Their light was not able to save Rido or Kaname. But their light was special to Haruka and Zero.

Haruka and Zero both really did die. They both died smiling at the woman they spent their entire life with. They both told their loved one how happy they had been. Kaname did not die. He was a pureblood and was preserved in ice by Aidou. So Kaname has yet to actually truly die. Both Zero and Haruka’s deaths seemed more tragic simply because they both evaporated. One into dust because he was a regular vampire and one into glass shards because he was a pureblood. That is completely a parallel there. They both LEFT this earth. They both loved one woman all of their lives. They both stood by that said woman for all of their lives. They both found happiness through the only woman they ever loved. They both smiled and said calming things to the one they loved at the end of their lives. They didn’t have to use that time to try to set their loved one free from the emotional pain they had caused them. They didn’t need to explain their actions or try to atone for sins that they had committed. 

Haruka and Zero both had to wait for quite sometime to have their love fully returned. Haruka and Juuri and Yuuki and Zero had the same kind of friendly combative relationship. It was not the same for Yuuki towards Kaname. She worshiped him and rarely stood up to him.

Haruka and Juuri started the initial pacifism cause and may I say that Zero and Yuuki finished it. Kaname was the one who truly hated his own kind. He actually was not for pacifism. He went around trying to kill his own kind which in turn caused a small war between vampires and humans. That is not pacifism. Zero’s hatred was only born out of what Kaname set in motion to try to get Zero to become his weapon and kill all vampires but Zero was too kind and would never do such a thing. When we use the word kind, who else comes to mind? Haruka!!

Both Haruka and Zero tell their loved one that they were happy before they die. Haruka died knowing that Juuri would sacrifice her life shortly after to make their loved one, Yuuki, human. Zero died knowing that Yuuki would use her life shortly after to make her loved one, Kaname, human.

Haruka had one child of his own and raised Kaname, the ancestor, who was not his child and may I add was also the cause of the death of his real son. Although it was not ancestor Kaname’s fault, but still it took a whole lot of kindness to raise a child who was indirectly responsible for your loved one’s death. Zero had one child of his own and raised Ai, the daughter of the man who intentionally set out to ruin his life and turn him into a weapon and was directly related to not only his parents’ deaths but also Ichiru’s. That takes a whole lot of kindness, on a whole other level, to raise the child of the man responsible for your family’s deaths and your own suffering.

Kaname had hatred for his own kind and tried so very hard to get Zero to feel that way but in the end what Yuuki’s light couldn’t do for Kaname it did for Zero. Zero never hated vampires or purebloods until Kaname released Shizuka and Shizuka killed Zero’s family. So I would argue that the very light Kaname saw in Yuuki should have saved him from his hatred of vampires and purebloods but it didn’t. The same way Juuri’s light could not have saved Rido.

I always find it pretty funny when one of the main characters, in more ways than one, is compared to another dark character and yet people refuse to acknowledge that. Kaname himself realizes who he is most like and it’s NOT Haruka. Haruka did NOT have darkness in his soul. Rido did and so did Kaname.

We can’t use the Zero and Kaien because their both hunters parallel, simply because Zero is a special case. He is not only a hunter but also a real vampire at the same time. Kaien is not a vampire even if he has higher levels of the hooded woman’s genes. Kaien has never craved blood nor drank blood ever. He is totally human with more of the hooded woman’s genes than most hunters. Zero actually has fangs and drinks blood and is a vampire.

Both Zero and Haruka fell in love first. They had to wait for quite sometime for the object of their affection to look their way. That can not be said about Yuuki towards Kaname as she was quite smitten with him right from the start. Kaname never had to work at it for Yuuki’s love. 

Also may I add that by the time Kaien met Juuri she was already married to Haruka so we really can’t call it a love triangle, can we?!! Unless we think that Kaien would make a move on a married woman and that Juuri would even look that way. The answer is no. Juuri was already Happily married to Haruka when her and Kaien met. There was not an LT. It was Kaien being smitten by Juuri’s warmth, like the burning rays of the sun and also by seeing Haruka and Juuri together loving and laughing just like humans. He came to realize that vampires had feelings just like humans. Zero already knew this from the day he was born. Why do you think he tried to save Yagari’s fiance who was level e. Zero never was born hating anyone or anything. Zero and Yuuki and Haruka and Juuri represent pacifism. 

It always amazes me when people forget that Zero was kind by nature. That he never would have had any hatred at all to overcome had it not been for Kaname!!! Hino clearly showed us that Kaname hated himself and all of his kind. He wanted to rid the world of his kind and turn Yuuki human therefore ending his own life. He went against everything that Juuri and Haruka stood for. Kaname held hatred in his heart for his race. People overlook what Hino tried to show and that is sad. 

When Hino had Shizuka tell Kaname that by killing her and drinking her blood he had chosen darkness and would walk that path, what do you think that was for. It was to show that he had chosen not to follow the light. He had chosen to fall into darkness with no chance for a good outcome. That does not parallel Haruka but it does parallel Rido.

Kaien was left with both Yuuki and Zero. Kaname is left with both Ai and Ren. Yuuki and Zero gave a different type of meaning to Kaien’s life. Ren and Ai will do the same for Kaname. Yuuki and Zero were Kaien’s light. Ren and Ai are Kanme’s light.

Kaname and Rido both had an obsessive love that caused them to do horrible things to try to acquire that love for themselves. They could not escape the darkness that dwelled within them. Haruka and Zero had patience, kindness, and waited for their loved one to finally look their way. They were light.

Even though both Haruka and Zero had to wait for their love to be returned they both were always there beside the one they loved. Zero and Yuuki grew up together. Haruka and Juuri grew up together. They were always together until the very end of their lives.

I could go on but I am pressed for time right now. But I think the fact that Zeki parallels Haruka and Juuri can be summed up in Yuuki’s own words;

No matter how difficult a thing may be, they can surpass it for sure if they are together….these couples are nice. 

This statement fits Senri and Rima, Kain and Ruka, Aidou and Yori, the Kiryuus, Haruka and Juuri, and Zeki. Zeki parallels Haruka and Juuri most closely and all other couples in the story parallel zeki in one way or another. The only couple who when they were together could NOT overcome anything was yume. That is canon. That is the absolute truth. They could not possibly parallel Haruka and Juuri.

Haruka and Juuri is Hino’s gold standard for what couples are supposed to be like in VK. Who did Hino have parallel them in so many ways as well as some of her art work? Only zeki. 

Of course everyone is entitled to see the story as they choose to. But there are still some facts that are simply undeniable. 

Well that was my two cents worth :)

A Word To The Sherlock Fandom

Over the past two weeks I have read some truly angry pieces by a very upset Sherlock fandom. Usually, I would counter this with lots of Moffat praise and wait for the wave of anger to subside. But this time, it has become a matter of showing respect to the LGBT+ community. So for once, I am going to address the issue before I move on with my usual blogging routine. 

For Those Who Don’t Know What The Anger Is About…

In a nutshell, what it boils down to is that the episode The Final Problem gave its viewers the impression that the show might be over for good. And if that really were the case, it would mean the relationship between Sherlock and John would never have become canon. And the hints that were planted throughout the show would have been all in our heads. 

Now let me start by making my position on the matter clear: I firmly believe in a romantic relationship between Sherlock Holmes and John Watson. I believe in it when watching the BBC series, I believe in it when reading the original books, I believe in it even after having watched The Final Problem. I believe. 

Originally posted by violincameos

I also strongly believe that Gatiss and Moffat have actually read the books and that they cannot possibly have overlooked all the subtext that hints towards a John-Sherlock relationship. And finally, I firmly believe that the writers have every intention to include this relationship in the show, if they get the chance…

Keep reading

My Lover Smells Like Fish (4)

Part 1Part 2Part 3

Matthew’s looking between the two of them like a peeved parent.

“I don’t mind being a designated driver,” Alfred’s brother tells them, “but I don’t see the point when you’re already home.”

Alfred knows his brother well and he can see pretty clearly, despite the alcohol in his system, that Matthew’s obviously upset that they’re drunk at all. It’s going on seven now, so there are clear implications about when they started

“Sweetheart, you gotta help us,” Gilbert says, taking Matthew’s hand, seemingly not caring if this makes a scene in the parking lot. “We have to save Arthur’s balls—you don’t wanna see a good guy lose his nuts, do you?”

Matthew’s expression is one of perplexed disgust and he’s openly not buying into the needy ramblings of a man who reeks of beer.

“C'mon, honey, it’s important—,”

And then there’s some stuff Alfred doesn’t want to see, so he averts his eyes and just waits until they finish their negotiations. Looking into the back of the truck, he notes that it’s pretty filthy and coated with wood chippings.

“Get in, loser, we’re going shopping!” Gilbert hollers at him, now half-hanging out of the truck.

Alfred follows after him, pulling himself up and in on the passenger’s side. “Shopping?”

“We’re gonna get us a fish, dude,” he informs him.

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Date Downtown {NCT Mark Scenario}

MASTERLIST

Anon: Bonjour may i request a Mark fluff? he just dated like 1month so they r so shy and they got together bc his members pressured him to ask his crush out so they went on a date downtown & it was decorated for x mas and they kissed haha hope its pas mal

I’m so sorry that this is so late! You requested this before xmas and I’ve only just got to it - I’ve gotten rid of the xmas bit purely because it’s over, just I still hope that you like it! Please send in feedback! Bisous, Flo :-)

Word count: 1823

Originally posted by nakamotens


“Mark, you need to take her on a date”

“Like, an actual one. Not one in the dorms”

“Are you even dating? Because it certainly doesn’t look like it?”

“Have you kissed her yet? No? What are you doing with yourself?”


Mark, being one of the youngest, was used to the pressures of being an idol being laid upon him. Eventually he could manage them and keep them under control. Even at his age, he had a lot of experience of what being a famous boy group, could be like. He knew that the job demanded his utter devotion and time. It required him to practice his rapping, singing and dancing, all whilst attending school and having a social life.

But starting so young, meant he had little to no experience of girls. The word felt foreign to him, something he was unfamiliar with and frankly, scared of too. Despite having a fan base that consisted of majority girls, it didn’t stop him from feeling awkward and isolated around them. He didn’t know how to talk to them, or act around them. He didn’t know whether if he said one thing, they might think another. Or how to flirt with them. His busy schedule left him little time for a girlfriend.

Keep reading

I’m never over the fact that Juliet, though sunshiney, loving and in many ways naive, is actually a ridiculously morbid and very calculating person.  I love her for it, honestly, and I hate when people cut those lines or play it as though she isn’t these things.

Like, my love for Juliet Capulet knows no bounds as it is–she’s defiant, she’s passionate, she’s nonviolent, she’s loving, and basically  the coolest.  But I feel like the fact that she’s kind of a manipulative genius at times, and a somewhat creepy Gothic romantic at  others is so often overlooked, and I can’t imagine why, because that’s great!

I mean, it’s clear how intelligent she is, and how easily she manages to say what her parents want to hear, without even once letting on what she’s really saying, as the audience knows, most notable in Act III, Scene VL

Indeed, I never shall be satisfied
With Romeo, till I behold him—dead—
Is my poor heart for a kinsman vexed.

Where she basically knows how to simultaneously say that she’s grieving both for the loss of Tybalt and Romeo, while letting her mother hear that she wants Romeo dead, and then later in the same scene:

I pray you, tell my lord and father, madam
,I will not marry yet. And when I do, I swear
It shall be Romeo, whom you know I hate,
Rather than Paris. These are news indeed!

Where she manages to basically throw it all out on the table–she’d rather marry Romeo than Paris–and still words it just so they have no idea.  This is an extremely subtle and deft crafting of word and communication and how people hear things.  The girl is basically a genius and could probably have made a terrifyingly good con artist if she wanted.

But then I also love the fact that lots of her other lines are oddly morbid, and that she clearly loves and enjoys darker things, and isn’t quite the wilting, delicate flower people seem to portray her as.  I mean, one need mostly just look at her speech in Act III, Scene II, which I’ll do here, and then it becomes a wonder no one modernizes R&J and makes her an adorable Gothic princess, in a way. 

Gallop apace, you fiery-footed steeds,
Towards Phoebus’ lodging: such a wagoner 
As Phaethon would whip you to the west,
And bring in cloudy night immediately.
Spread thy close curtain, love-performing night,
That runaway’s eyes may wink and Romeo
Leap to these arms, untalk’d of and unseen. 

This part isn’t terribly dark, but it’s got the feeling of a battle  cry, in a way, invoking horses of the gods to go away, commanding the sun to set.  It’s intense stuff.

Lovers can see to do their amorous rites
By their own beauties; or, if love be blind,
It best agrees with night. Come, civil night,
Thou sober-suited matron, all in black,
And learn me how to lose a winning match, 
Play’d for a pair of stainless maidenhoods:

To me, at least, there’s something witchy about this: it reminds me, in a way, of Lady Macbeth’s “Come, thick night,” speech, where she’s powerful, literally calling evil spirits to do her bidding and change the course of what’s to be done.  Obviously, Juliet isn’t a witch and no spirits come to her aid, but the thought is there, as is her love for darkness, her disdain for light, her romanticization of the night and its cover and the color black.  It makes me want to picture a modern Juliet painting spider-webs on her fingernails and watching the starts for hours in the dark, and listening to The Cure.  

Hood my unmann’d blood, bating in my cheeks,
With thy black mantle; till strange love, grown bold,
Think true love acted simple modesty.
Come, night; come, Romeo; come, thou day in night; 
For thou wilt lie upon the wings of night
Whiter than new snow on a raven’s back. 

Again, this is something she very clearly loves and thinks is gorgeous, and it’s morbid and dark and rich.  And yet she’s so constantly written off as this silly little girl, foolish and flowery in the way people read her or perform her.

Come, gentle night, come, loving, black-brow’d night,
Give me my Romeo; and, when he shall die,
Take him and cut him out in little stars, 

Honestly, just to drive the point home, she’s thinking about her lover’s death making him scatter into the stars and literally becoming part of the night.  She wants to be Night’s lover, in an indirect kind of ways, and the fact that she twines darkness with Romeo in this image, indicates that she associates love and things she adores with darkness.  It’s certainly a love for the dark that I’d put into a Gothic Heroine of later literature.

And he will make the face of heaven so fine
That all the world will be in love with night
And pay no worship to the garish sun.

And finally, she concludes with calling the sun “garish,” which, if anything, makes me think of a line in a song from Phantom of the Opera–”Turn your face away/ from the Garish light of day”–which also associates romance with darkness, and a contempt for light.  But this isn’t meant to make her bad or wrong, simply private and rich and dark.

So basically, this all boils down to two things:  One is that Juliet Capulet should not be written off as stupid because she is literally too clever for anyone else.  The other is that I don’t get why people portray her wearing all white, or bright colors so often in modern adaptations, because there’s literally text-based justification for goth!Juliet if you wanted.

TL;DR Juliet Capulet is my cunning Goth Daughter who I love to hell and back and would kill someone for and I hate that people do not like her or put a lot of thought into her.  Also, if you’re ever thinking on it, consider goth!Juliet who loves spooky things and sneaking out at night. It could go very well with pastel!Romeo.

bakugou will end up being the one to save shigaraki while deku will defeat all for one

 in the panel of chapter 89 with all for one , shigaraki , bakugou, and midoriya , bothall for one is above bakugou and midoriya below Shigaraki

which shows that shigaraki is the one needed t obe saved while all for one needs to be beaten

foreshadowing bakugou and midoriyas respective villains they will face. and in the entrance exam bakugou scored the highest in villain defeating score with 0 in rescue area while midoriya got the highest in rescue while 0 in villain defeating

and this shows in their mindsets bakugou admired all might for his strength and focused on villain defeating while deku admired all might for the way he saved people

and this is shown by how bakugou talked about how he admired all might for the way he looked when he won while deku admired all might for him saving people and the grin on his face so it would be great character development for bakugou if he is the one who ends up saving a villain from darkness and all for ones grasp

there are parallels between Tomura Shigaraki and Izuku Midoriya (who are of the same generation)
Just as Midoriya is chosen to be All Might’s successor, Shigaraki is being groomed as the successor for All Might’s archnemesis all for one(AFO)) from all for ones control/ the darkness and help redeem him he will in a sense rescue shigaraki ( heck one of the things that were brought up by afo

and given bakugou and dekus relationship it would be symbolic for bakugou to end up saving someone who is evil deku and parallels dekus journey I mean overhaul is to shigaraki what  Mirio_Toogata is to deku someone who is more prepared and skilled than them who  kicked his and others asses and showed them that they needed to grow and gave advice to them.

Sensei’s little brother is a lot like Midoriya. He was thought quirk-less and had a strong sense of Justice. like how midoriyas quirkless and had a strong sense of justice where he was willing to go run and try to save bakugo from a villian in the first chapter putting his life on the line when he didnt have a quirk and bakugo had bullied him harshly for a while. and when midoriya saw bakugou bullying someone he was willing to stand up for the guy. despite being quirkless and not as physically fit as bakugou

 so in a sense as kids you could say there are a bit of parallels between bakugous relationship with deku in that sense and all for ones relationship with his brother so it would be ironic/fitting if bakugou in the end is the one to free shigaraki from afo’s grasp

plus shigaraki has shown interest in bakugou and has bellieved that he could get through to him so it would fit in a twist that bakugou ends up helping shigaraki by redeeming him etc

http://another-bnha-blog.tumblr.com/post/154053810014/afo-ofa-cont#notes

both of their quirks rely on their hands

and it would show how far bakugou has come in character development

It will fit the way that was established in Deku vs Kacchan 2.

edit:

http://saisai-chan.tumblr.com/post/153594484499/saisai-chan-cartoon-caity-saisai-chan

I mean as @saisai-chan said 



i really think that it’ll be Bakugou who’ll be the key to breaking down Shigaraki’s world view.

Shigaraki clearly thinks that he can use Bakugou. he thinks that he can relate to Bakugou and make him understand his side of the story; that heroes are the scum of society, etc, etc.

he thinks that, because Bakugou was shackled by society’s rules (literally, in this case), that they can see eye to eye on this issue. they have a lot in common, after all. they’ve both been oppressed by society.


he’s so invested in this idea, that he’s willing to overlook the fact that Bakugou just attacked, and could’ve very well destroyed, his father’s hand. Black Mist gets so worried about Shigaraki’s reaction to this that he even rushes towards Shigaraki to stop him from going on a rampage, but Shigaraki stops him.

that hand is incredibly precious to Shigaraki. but he views Bakugou as a valuable pawn and is willing to ignore what he did in order to move forward with his plans. (he’s learning, just like what All for One wants.)

however, Shigaraki miscalculated. because as much as he tries to relate to him, he just doesn’t understand Bakugou at all.

he tries to appeal to Bakugou’s desire to win. he tries to make himself relateable. he tries every trick in the book to win Bakugou’s trust and loyalty, but none of it works because he just doesn’t understand Bakugou.

he thinks Bakugou won’t attack. he doesn’t understand why Bakugou tries so hard to win. he uses these points as a way to relate to Bakugou, but he doesn’t actually understand them beyond their superficial nature. he doesn’t comprehend Bakugou’s motivations or their deeper meanings.


this entire scene illustrates just how much Shigaraki doesn’t understand Bakugou. it’s shown over and over again. Shigaraki tries to fish Bakugou in by offering him something he wants–winning–and a superficial understanding of his character, and none of it is working.

try as hard as Shigaraki might, Bakugou isn’t having any of his shit.

Bakugou calls Shigaraki out on his bullshit, and he is having absolutely none of it. Bakugou attacks him. Bakugou does want to win, but not because he just…. wants to win. No. He wants to become a hero, he wants to strike the same figure that All Might does when he wins. he wants to become the strongest hero.

he wants nothing that Shigaraki has to offer.

however, i think Bakugou will still be a key person in Shigaraki’s plans. Shigaraki was very focused on him, to the point where All for One even makes a point to comment on it.

i think Bakugou is still on Shigaraki’s mind. i think Shigaraki will try again to get to Bakugou, to bring him to their side. and i think Bakugou’s absolute refusal will baffle and confuse Shigaraki. he sees much of himself in Bakugou, and doesn’t understand why Bakugou refuses to join, despite their similarities.

Shigaraki doesn’t understand Bakugou. i think, when he finally does, that will be the start of his road to redemption.


plus shigarakis fascination could also parallel with  dekus old admiration for bakugou and how he admired him for a bit. 

https://hatefilledpoptarts.tumblr.com/post/156003065693/class-1-a-should-really-learn-to-stop-letting?is_related_post=1 “

He knows Bakugou is great and he wants to stand on that same field as him because, to Izuku most of all, it’s something worth matching, even going so far as surpassing. No one can bring down Bakugou and Izuku knows it’s the place he wants to go all out for, a place where he won’t falter no matter the challenge; a place you can stand your ground and do what needs to be done no matter the difficulty. For Izuku, it means standing firmer than anyone and never backing down or lose confidance in themselves when no one else believe he can do anything; ideals that can’t be shaken, knowing nothing or no one can make him lose his ground. Katsuki isn’t being viewed as only another bully or shitty person in Deku’s life, he’s an aspiration he wants to be himself. Izuku might just be as enamored with Katsuki’s talent as he himself is.


it emphasizes shigaraki being the evil counterpart to deku

@hatefilledpoptarts

@another-bnha-blog

@bnha-anime-trash

@thathilomgirl

@i-write-shit

Date Night

Fandom: Twilight

Word Count: 1291

Characters: Paul x reader

Warnings: None

Summary: A typical date night with Paul turns into an evening of a lifetime

 I rushed out of the house about an hour before sunset, down the driveway towards my old school white jeep, when I noticed the driver’s door was open. Eerily confused, I cautiously edged towards to the jeep to investigate further. Then I heard to radio softly playing a very familiar song and saw a pair of very large black Converse perched on my driver’s side dashboard. I knew immediately it was Paul.

 He heard the crunching of the rocky drive under my shoes and shot up. “I told you I would beat you! I finished patrol, showered, changed, and barely ran here, and I was still ready before you. I even had time to put our CD in and pick you some flowers!” He proudly declared this as he held up a bunch of delicate wildflowers. “ I will say the time waiting was worth it, don’t know how it is possible but you look more beautiful than usual.”

 I felt the blood rush to my cheeks and a sheepish smile spread across my face. “Alright,” I conceded, “you win. You get to drive.” I pretended sighed out of disappointment as he popped open the passenger door for me. I climbed in and pulled my hair into a ponytail in preparation of the wind from having the top off the jeep. “Well, what are we doing tonight?” I asked. “Well, I am sure glad you asked Y/N. Do I have a great night planned for us this evening. Ma'am, please buckle your seatbelt and place your tray in the upright position, as the Date Night Express takes off. Please also take note of all emergency exits at this time.” I laughed at his flight attendant impression and he winked at me as he pulled out of the driveway.

 As we listened to the CD he made me full of songs that reminded him of me, we sped down the windy road towards La Push. I moaned. He eyed me suspiciously but just kept driving. I secretly hoped we weren’t in for another evening of beach bonfire and wolf pack. Not that I didn’t love that and them, because I really did, I was just hoping for something different and more intimate. It seemed that I maybe getting my wish, we drove pass the turn for La Push. As we drove past it, Paul took my left hand and started absentmindedly bestowing soft warm kisses. Starting at the back of my hand moving to each one of my knuckles and then finger tips. He lightly kissed the palm of my hand and then placed it on his cheek. I paused there for a moment, and then worked my hand down to land where his rested on the gear shift. He smiled as he grasped onto my hand. I felt a rush of calm and warmth rush over me as his giant hand encompassed mine.

 We started to drive up biggest cliff set outside of town, up a winding and inclined path. I asked again “What are doing tonight?”, but this time much more excited. Clearly Paul had planned something. This was both shocking and thrilling. I was getting so excited I could hardly stand it.

 We drove for what seemed like a lifetime, but Paul assured me it was only about 20 more minutes. We finally leveled out some ontop of the cliff, and Paul put the car in park. He hopped out and came to get my door. He offered me his hand as I slid out of the jeep. “We walk from here, champ. You cool with that?”

 I shrugged and said “Try to keep up, yeah?”

“That doesn’t make any sense. You don’t even know where we are going. But by all means, try to find it. I would love to have you get us lost in the woods, so I then can heroicly save the day and then tell everyone what a terrible sense of direction you have and that you would literally be lost in more way than one without me. Your knight in shining armor.” I could see him puff out his already very large chest and strike what I assumed was a knightly pose.

 "FINE. Lead the way Sir Fluffy Tail.“

“IT ISN’T THAT FLUFFY Y/N. IT IS A NECESSARY ANATOMICAL TOOL. I NEED IT FOR BALANCE.”

“Awh, but it is so cute. My favorite thing about your wolf form. You are so fluffy and cute!”

“Stop talking. Like I cannot handle you.”

“Never! You will never silence me!“ 

Suddenly I felt myself being lift from the ground and everything got turned upside down as he threw me over his shoulder, laughing hysterically at my pathetic yelp of protest. "Who is cute and fluffy now, hmm?” he said gloating. “Still you.” I said, as I hung from his shoulder, pounding my fists into his back.

 Just a few seconds later, he flipped me over, put me down, and said “Ok, ok. We have to get moving or this epic date is going to get ruined.” He grabbed my hand and started leading me through the woods. I walked for a few moments with Paul, enjoying the dusk sounds of the forest. “Not much further” he said.

 Finally, he lead me into a clearing that was the top of a cliff that overlooked a part of the ocean inlet that I had never seen before. Just a few feet in front of me, I noticed a blanket, a picnic basket, a CD player, and what seemed like hundreds of lit candles spread out through the clearing. He released my hands and walked to turn on the CD player and soft sweet music began to play. I honestly stood there for a moment, breathless at this scene before me. Paul really had put a lot of work into this. I walked towards where Paul was staring back at me with a hand extended. I took his hand and reached up as far as I could to kiss him. “I can’t believe you did this. This is amazing. Thank you Paul.”

 “Well actually, Y/N, there is more.“ His voice sounded anxious and excited all at the same time. I stared at his soft brown eyes, noticing that the orange glow of the sunset reflected perfectly into them. He grabbed both of my hands in his and cleared his throat.

 "Before I met you, I was on edge all the time. Angry at everything and everyone. Despite the brothers connected to me, I was isolated and alone. You have changed all of that. The day I met you, I found my missing piece. You complete me.”

 Truly confused at this point, I opened my mouth to agree and ask why he was gushing, but he shook his head and kept going. “You are my best friend. You are the gravity that holds me to this Earth. Everyday you bring a light into my life I didn’t know was possible. You are kind, smart, strong, courageous, adventurous, funny, and beyond beautiful. Y/N you are more than I ever knew possible. You make me the happiest man there is, truly you do. There is only one thing I would change about you.”

 Even more confused, I asked “What would that be?”

 Paul sunk to one knee and fished a box out of his pocket, as he did this my heart raced a million miles an hour and my eyes started to fill with tears. 

“Your last name.” he said as he answered my question. “Y/N, will you marry me?” He opened the velvet blue box to show a gorgeous oval shaped diamond ring. Too breathless to speak, I nodded yes. I bent down to kiss him as he slipped the ring on my finger.

Okay Voltron fandom, can we talk about some guys that we’ve been overlooking?

Thace has friends.

This is the best shot we have of them- it’s the bottom-right corner of the official poster from season 2. They are very clearly talking and hanging out. The way they’re positioned and the fact that Thace is actually having a good time- when literally every face we’ve seen from him in canon is vaguely despondent or irritated-looking- tells us something interesting is going on here.

Here’s the first interesting thing: we’ve seen these guys in canon.

Keep reading

Great Members of the Community - 2

I apologise for the clearly not proof read beginning of the last post, and I hope no one was offended by it. I had a bit of writers block when putting it together, but overcame it as I continued and so the beginning was not at all at the standard I had expected of myself. Sorry again. I’ll endeavour to put more care into this as I continue

But one more thing. A lot of people have posted shout outs to just bloggers that they like or mutuals they’re close with and I’ll do all of those in one long list. As for the rest of it, I want to showcase blogs who create original MTG content and who can’t quite reach the audience they deserve. Cool, all that’s cleared up, let’s go.


Oracle of Kruphix ( @oracleofkruphix )

With a not yet fully realised series, Oracle of Kruphix boasts a unique insight into the story of magic as expressed through their plot analyses and reviews. Done mostly for their own sake, they state that with more readers will also come more in depth looks and critiques of the stories from a structural stand point, as well as by virtue of enjoyment.

Thrice X and VII ( @thricexandvii )

Thrice is nothing if not an opinionated individual, however their best work comes in the form of customised Set symbols, graphics and other such things, created in photoshop for the program Magic Set Editor. Through this, they enable a greater scope of creativity in custom magic cards. What’s more, they’re even happy to mock up some cards for you, if you wish.

Vorthos Jay ( @vorthosjay )

Vorthos Jay is incredible. With a seemly endless understanding of the ways of the multi-verse, especially in a pre-mending setting, they can answer any question you throw their way. Heck, if you’re not even sure what ‘pre-mending’ means, then they are absolutely your go to person. Even just spending an hour scrolling through their blog is like spending an hour in an MTG lore wiki. But, like, a good one. 

MTG Fan Set ( @mtgfanset )

Run by numerous members of the MTG tumblr community, MTG Fan Set is exactly what it says on the box. An MTG Set made entirely by fans of the game. You know what, each individual person people who is helping to organise it deserves their own shout out. They are @magicarasa as Project Lead, @conorace as Head Designer, @johannstrottman as Head Developer, @luckylooter as Rules Manager and @rosebuncat as Creative Manager. Each of them are incredible in their own right and it’s incredible to see them all come together like this. I’m sorry if I missed anyone.

Zomburai ( @zomburai

If you’re a huge fan of pre-mending MTG humour and good art, I highly recommend Zomburai because that is what they do and they do it well. They even have commissions open, so I can’t help but suggest you peruse their art and then ask for them to make you some, if you have the money. They absolutely should have a larger audience than they do.

Sharuum’s Puzzle Box ( @sharuums-puzzle-box )

There are few blogs that surprise me, quite like this, with their content. Not to rag on people, all your stuff it great, but everyone once in a while you’ll see something so incredibly unique and you’ll wonder how 1) you never thought of it first and 2) they manage to maintain the same quality of content over time. To put it briefly, Sharuum’s Puzzle Box is a blog that pumps out puzzles based on real world interactions one may expect to find in a game of magic. Using real cards and somewhat realistic scenarios, you’re tasked with solving the problem presented. Most of them are beyond me. I’m not that kind of thinker. But if you love tight plays and undoing troubling scenarios and improving you problem solving abilities, they’re absolutely someone you need to check out. The fact that this paragraph is easily twice the size of any other person in this list and I don’t wanna stop gushing out them is a testament to how great they are. 

Pepper Jaq ( @pepperjaq )

Packed to the brims with their minis Papper Jaq is never afraid to sprinkle them about their posts adding an hint of character to their blogging that one might not normally see. However, in the area of content made, Jaq is just as an amazing artist in their own right. Like, to both the degree in which the Minis are amazing but also their full scale art.

Talinthas ( @talinthas )

Now this one might be pushing the whole ‘smaller blog’ because I don’t personally know their metrics, but I see them more often than a lot of these other blogs so please forgive me if I underestimate. Their commentary on the community and the way that the game presents itself and how it’s evolved is something completely unique to them and really needs to be read to be understood. Their most recent piece on The Collector as an often overlooked archetype of player is something I had never ever thought about and so speaks to their unique perspective. Definitely worth a read.