well not exactly me

Because abortions aren't the only way the patriarchy wants to control your junk

OBGYN: Yeah, you are exhibiting all the signs of Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome. I’m so sorry.

Me: Huh? Oh, yeah. Insulin resistance, impossible weight loss, pre-disposition to type II diabetes, painful AF periods. Likelihood of bleed outs. Crap. That blows.

OBGYN: Yeah, well that too.

Me: *blinks* What?

OBGYN: Well, PCOS makes it very difficult for a woman to conceive and carry.

Me: BWHAHAHAHA. Yeah. No. No babies. Ever. Never wanted them. At all. Maternal instinct is not strong with this one. Only upside today.

OBGYN: Well then. Not exactly problem solved, but we’ll run with it.

Me: So about the MIND-SEARING PAIN and occasional HEAVY AF BLEEDING. When can we deal with that.

OBGYN: Not until you are 35.

Me: Dah fuq?

OBGYN: Not my rules. Hospitalization won’t even consider any treatment unless it’s life or death until you’re 35.

Me: Why?

OBGYN: Because you might want to have a baby.

Me: I’m 31. I didn’t want kids when I was 11, I didn’t want them at 21, and I sure as shit don’t want them now. Can’t I just sign a form that says “I don’t ever want a baby take it out, take it out now”?

OBGYN: Nope.

Me: Why?

OBGYN: Government rules. No removal of baby making parts before 35 unless your life is in immediate jeopardy.

TL;DR: The government knows better about your baby making parts than you do.

9

An Aesthetic: EmButt + Assmell “grinding” “it” “out” in matching workout gear😩

A successful novel should erase the boundary-line between writer and reader, so they can unite.
When that happens, the novel becomes a part of life – the main course, not the dessert.
A successful novel should interrupt the reader’s life, make him or her miss appointments, skip meals, forget to walk the dog.
In the best novels, the writer’s imagination becomes the reader’s reality. It glows, incandescent and furious.
—  Stephen King, preface to The Lord Of The Flies
PayPal Commissions

Hey! So I’m opening Paypal commissions.
My terms :
- No NSFW content
- I will send you a sketch of the initial commission prior to completion, that way I can change things you don’t like.
- Payment is needed prior to the completion of the commission.
- Be descriptive of what you want. It helps me create exactly what you want. Send me references as well.
- write to me in a note about what you would like as it’ll help me organise things.
- I will send you my email for my Paypal through a note once we’ve discussed the terms of what you want for the commission.
- Unless specified, I will add my watermark on the commission to copyright the work. 

- If you wish to enquire, let me know ^^

Pidge ft this really cute outfit I saw on my dash (plus the model was cute too)

Yoongi @ Jungkook probably
  • Jungkook: Yoongi-hyung.
  • Yoongi: I'm hoping, for your sake, there's another Yoongi sitting right behind me.
  • Jungkook: I feel stupid, but, sending me to Namjoon-hyung like that—well, I'm not sure, exactly, what you were trying to teach me.
  • Yoongi: The value - and this is important - of leaving me alone.
HOW MANY RIDERS DOES IT TAKE TO CHANGE A LIGHT BULB?

HUNTER RIDER:
Well, I’m waiting for my trainer to tell me exactly how but he’s changing light bulbs somewhere else right now.

DRESSAGE QUEEN:
Change a light bulb? Are you joking? I couldn’t possibly be expected to subject myself to such a menial task. Change it yourself. Oh, wash your hands when you are finished. The very thought!

CLASSICAL DRESSAGE QUEEN:
These things cannot be rushed, but must be approached slowly, with great patience, and adherence to the principles laid down by the classical masters, otherwise the light bulb will not attain its true potential, but will forever just be a shadow of its true self. Never, ever use any type of gadget when changing the light bulb. That is an offence to the principles of classical light bulb changing.

EVENTER:
Wuss! As soon as my arm is out of this sling, broken after falling off at that large stone wall while riding Hell Bent for Leather cross-country, I’ll change it. Until then, deal with the dark. It’ll put hair on your chest. Only dressage riders require lights, anyway.

SHOW JUMPER:
Why on earth would I need to change a light bulb when the whole world knows that the sun shines out of my x*&%!? Why, when I release over a jump, the spectators are practically blinded.

WESTERN PLEASURE RIDER:
Oh, my God, someone fix that bulb, I have to have light so that my silver and spangles all glow their best and so that all the highlighter on Old Peanut Head makes his nose look so smooth and sparkly, and oh, my diamond studs have to flash in the light, you know, so oh, someone has to fix it—oh, maybe you without all the silver on your saddle, obviously you can’t ride, you can do it.

ENDURANCE RIDER:
Light bulb? Do you mind, I’m trying to get my horses pulse/respiration/hydration levels down to respectable levels. Once that is done, I have another 50 miles to go before I can even think about changing a light bulb. And besides, this neon green spandex is bright enough to see by.

NATURAL HORSEMAN:
You must instill respect in the light bulb, so that it sees you as the Alpha light bulb, using “light bulb dynamics” (video available at $179.99 on my website). Once you have done this, you will find that there is really no need to change the light bulb at all, but that the light bulb will, with very little coaxing from you (using “light bulb coaxer” $99.95 each, plus for extra $49.99 you get an intro video thrown in) behave, as all good light bulbs should.


This is not mine-it has been copy and pasted on Facebook several times. Looking for the original source!

the line where the sky meets the sea

Time is fluid, when you’re a demigod. Mortals are not. (inspired by @youkaiyume and @jackkellyssweetheart‘s tags on this post). 


Time is fluid for a demigod. You go off for a while, to have adventures, help the mortals with their problems, defeat a monster or two and it’s fine! It’s all good. And if you happen to leave behind a certain curly-haired, feisty, determined princess–oh, sorry, daughter of the village chief–well, things will probably be fine. She’s a bright kid, the first wayfarer in generations. Leading her people and all that. She’ll be alright.

And so off you go. You fight monsters. You sass gods. You help mortals. You do you, basically.

And when you come back to that certain curly-haired, feisty chief’s daughter–you’re brimming with things to tell her, that creature you defeated, the new tattoos you’ve earned, the myths you’ve begun. And she’ll have her own stories to tell, of course she will and you’ll listen. To all of them! You won’t even interrupt.

And when you come back, you’re in for unpleasant surprise.

Things have–changed.

She’s not a kid anymore. Her father has stepped down, she’s stepped up. She is the leader of Motunui. She’s–what, eighteen? Twenty? You’ve never been good with mortal ages–a woman and a beautiful woman at that, tall, strong, graceful. Already she has her own tattoos on her back, arms, shoulders, legs that signify her chief hood. But the blue shell locket still hangs around her neck, nestles comfortably in the hollow of her collarbones (not that you notice, you’re just using your, you know, demigod powers of observation). She is delighted, no, overjoyed to see you, and you’re shocked by how happy you are to see her. She presses her forehead to yours, laughs and breathes into your face and you think, …oh no. Oh NO.

You are in trouble.

Keep reading

(I’ve seen this in many blogs, so I wanted to do that too. There are so many of them I love in this community, but I can’t draw fan art for them all, so I will do around 10 illustrations for the ones that inspire me the most)

(The first one shown is, of course, @marshie-daily . Every time I am able to see their gorgeous art I, well, I can’t explain exactly how it makes me feel. It is so beautiful. But one thing is sure: that art is goals. The colors, the style (and mod is so nice and kind), I don’t know, I love everything about that blog. 

something i noticed while watching rick and morty

i fucking love little details animators put in

what do all of these images have in common?

rick never wears a seatbelt

i know what youre thinking. “but what if the drivers seat in his ship just doesnt have a working seatbelt?” well:

police car. probably working seatbelts

and look! morty is driving the ship. hes wearing a seatbelt. and the seatbelt on the other side definitely works; we see other characters use it constantly

in conclusion: i dont know. i just thought this detail was neat