well if there were people left in this world who didnt know who you were... they do now

Gladio, Iggy and Noct are on their roadtrip when they come across a bunch of cars spread across the road
Battered and smoking
Some have been flipped over the barrier, people littering the ground as well as bodies of beasts and the black sludge that’s a telltale sign of demons

All the devastation converges on one car somewhat down the incline so they decided to check it out

Theyre almost on the car when a shot rings out and only Gladio’s quick reflexes saves them as he gets his shield out and up

‘W-who goes there??’

(Full story under the cut)

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A really really long night vale theory part 2

so a bit ago after episode 108 was released i finally put a theory that i had been juggling around in my mind for a while onto paper and i got a shocking amount of positive feedback on it now that episode 109 is out i would like to make a follow up and take a look at what i got right, what i got wrong, and how to proceed from there.

what i got right

1983 was destroyed by a cold war era nuclear bomb

  • my initial claim was based on how cecil spoke about the impending end of the world in episode 76 [Best Of?], that he spoke of it urgently, like there wasnt enough time to escape their inevitable future but enough time to speak to his listeners one last time. It was not an instantaneous apocalypse, as he was able to broadcast his goodbyes, and it wasnt a slow apocalypse as he spoke like he was already out of time.
  • In episode 109 huntokar says “I could see it as it was about to happen, i could see the flash and the tower of fire, the heat that transforms a body into only its shadow. The slow sickness and the dying of crops, I could see starvation and a winter thst would not end”.
  • Heres some technical stuff about the effects post bomb:
  • the flash and tower of fire refers to the moment of impact when the bomb goes off and the mushroom cloud left behind it.
  • a nuclear shadow refers to the imprint left in a persons shadow after being hit with a nuclear bomb. A nuclear bomb can vaporize a person nearly instantly, but the impact doesnt bend around them. Look at your shadow, its there because the sun cant pass through you. A nuclear bomb emits thermal radiation that bleaches anything it comes in contact with, since the human body absorbs those rays the shadow behind them is left completely untouched. The only remnants of the victim is the very shadow they left at the time of their demise. Terrible, isnt it?
  • the slow sickness and dying of crops is radiation poisoning. The symptoms cal showed in 108 were vomiting, spontaneous bleeding, hair loss, and severe fatigue. All of these symptoms are commonly associated with radiation poisoning.
  • post nuclear fallout there is something known as nuclear winter, which was a term coined in 1982 in fact. The fire inevitably left behind from a nuclear bomb would produce smoke that would rise into thr upper stratosphere and be heated by the sun and blanket the earth. This blocks out the sun causing the surface temperature of earth to drop drastically.
  • although huntokar never explicitly SAYS nuclear bomb… Its a nuclear bomb.

the relationship between the distant prince, the woman from italy, and huntokar

  • granted, i just said they ARE related, not how
  • but now we know that theyre all gods older than time
night vale is in a separate reality from the rest of the world
  • admittedly im super excited about this one, the rest of the theory had come up as a result of episode 108 but ive believed night vale to exist in a different reality since the strex arc so it feels super good to be proven right.
  • my previous theory stated mt belief that night vale isnt in the same reality as the rest of us foe a handful of reasons
  • most notably, night vale is just weird. But thats not news
  • after the events of a certain valentines day the people of night vale had reached out to the american government for help, but the government brushed it off as some kind of prank calling their distress cry “creative”. Additionally as its been shown many times before, although they exist, cecil doesnt know states. In episode 106 filings he sees a map of america that the new intern brought in. He said it was america but it was wrong somehow, the states were wrong. This displays a disconnect between night vale and the rest of the world, while they can communicate and acknowledge one another neither is fully aware of the other at any given time.
  • time is weird in night vale, starting with cecil broadcasting the actual founding of night vale on night vale community radio before the radio existed, broadcasting the story of his fling with marconi while he was still inventing the radio, the both slow and inconsistent rate at which cecil ages, carlos said it himself. Time just doesnt work in night vale. In episode 55 university of what it is a representative from the college comes to night vale looking for carlos saying hes been missing for decades. At that point carlos had only been in night vale for, what, three years? And yet hes been missing for forty to the rest of the world.
  • in this episode however im proven correct, in an attempt to save night vale huntokar removed in from the reality in which the world was about to end and put it somewhere else,in a different reality entirely. Not only do we know for certain that night vale isnt in our reality but we even know WHY its not! Thats so much more than i could have possibly hoped for

i couldnt be happier. Finally after four years my disconnected reality theory is confirmed. Im proud but im also terrified of the implications.

This theory is about the state of night vale and maybe, just maybe, somewhere else.

A misunderstanding during the cold war when a test bomb drop was mistaken for a real one leading to america and the ussr to launch their arsenal of nuclear weapons at one another. This is the bomb that approached night vale to obliterate it. Huntokar was a merciful god and decided to save her town from it on impulse, pulling night vale from reality a (our reality) and putting it into reality b (night vales reality). The consequence of this however was that the reality among all possible night vales cracked and merged. All of the realities merging together is likely the reason for all the weird stuff that happens in night vale, they arent blended together smoothly, chances are certain realities are more profound in certain places than others. For instance, the house that doesnt exist. The reality is mixed in that though visible its less prevalent than the reality in which it doesnt exist. (In my initial theory I had proposed that huntokar, the woman from italy, and the distant prince were trying to merge the realities, while im not wrong in the fact that theyre combining it seems that it wasn’t an intentional thing.)

While some realities assimilated entirely into others, SOME didnt mix in that way. Some are still defined travel between is possible but ill advised. While some night vales remained night vale i believe its possible that some, a certain one in particular, didnt.

The peace among the gods is a delicate treaty, other more malicious gods are fascinated by night vale, in order to protect her true night vale huntokar offered them certain versions of night vale for them to play out their sadistic fantasies. I want you to consider the following very carefully: desert bluffs.

Desert bluffs is obviously invariably linked to night vale, mirror roles, mirror events… Remember who ruled desert bluffs, who ruled strex.

A smiling god.

We havent heard from kevin or thought about desert bluffs in a while but remember him? The smiling god, regardless of his smile he was clearly malicious manipulating the residents into joining strex and enslaving themselves to its violence and it’s evil. He then tried to take night vale as well.

I think its possible, likely even, that desert bluffs was once another night vale, given to the smiling god to appease him and stop him from harming huntokars night vale. He used it as his canvas to play out the strex arc watching the residents futile resistance against an inevitable future.

mysticmessofcrap  asked:

This is just a thought but it would be a great oneshot or reaction or something. What if Jumin had to put down Elizabeth 3rd because she got sick (I cried when I thought about this I want to know how you feel about this)

This legit triggered me so much because I love my dog so much that I spent a week crying thinking about that one day I need to say goodbye…. well here we go T_T WARNING: This may be OOC because I know Jumin just sees Elizabeth as a cat after he puts his emotional stability on MC but whatever just enjoy (Jumin POV) (for my animal lovers please listen to this fucking song so we can die together ) * ill let y'all know when to play the song* 


Ugh. Each and every single day I recieve more and more paperwork. No matter how many hours I put into my job, I will always need more. I picked up the 649 page proposal that Assistant Kang left on my desk so I can look over it. I gave a deep sigh knowing I was going to be late going home again. Well there is nothing I can do. I must do what I can so I can support my family.

I was already on page 443 before I heard a knock on the door. I perked my head up “Who is it? Im busy. It better be important for it to demand my attention” I scowled.  The door slowly opened and Assistant Kang popped her head out. I motioned for her to come in “What is it Assistant Kang? Do I need to over look more papers? If so, just leave it on that chair” I sighed pointing at the chair with four piles of paperwork. She walked closer to me and cleared her through “Have you checked your phone Mr. Han? (Y/N) just called the office” she said with a bit of shakiness in her voice. I reached into my pocket to see that my phone was left on silent. I put the volume on high and I was shock to see I had 23 missed calls from (y/n), 12 missed called from Yoosung, and 3 missed calls from Saeyoung. Hmm. I was getting ready to go through my voice mail to see what the fuss was about before Assistant Kang interrupted my thoughts “Mr. Han you need to leave. Now.” she commanded. I gave her a puzzled look but then my wife barged into my office screaming. She panted and caught her breath “Jumin, Elizabeth is dying!” she shouted. My heart stopped and I got up and ran to my wife “What did you say!” I shouted back. My wife looked me into my eyes and I notice she had tear stains on her cheek. She grabbed my hand and dragged me outside to where Saeyoung was. She pushed me inside and Saeyoung drove to the speed of light to Yoosungs hospital. 

I ran helplessly through the hospital doors and went to the second floor. I noticed Yoosung outside of room 8 looking down at his clipboard. I ran to him and kneeled down in front of “What happened! I thought removing the tumor would guarantee Elizabeth 3rd life! What the fuck did you do! What did you do to my Elizabeth” I screeched while I shook his shoulders. He looked into my eyes and then pull me in for a hug “Im sorry Jumin okay I’m sorry! I warned you that with her age she might not make a full recovery. It’s even a miracle that she’s been alive for this long. She’s been bleeding internally and she doesn’t want to let go yet. She’s waiting for you Jumin. Im sorry… but its time..” he whimpered. I got up from the floor and started to pull on my hair trying to focus on a different pain “IM NOT READY FUCK IM NOT!! HOW CAN I SAY GOODBYE TO SOMEONE WHO SAVED ME HUH!! HOW CAN I LET HER DIE WHEN SHE HELPED ME LIVE!”I shouted while kicking a nearby trashcan. I couldn’t breath and I just fell on the floor screaming Elizabeths name. My wife and Saeyoung helped me back up to my feet and they gave me a drink of water. I breathed in heavily and then went to Yoosung to take me to Elizabeth. I told my wife and Saeyoung that I want to say goodbye by myself and they respected my wishes. 

I entered the little room and I heard painful meows coming from my sweet Elizabeth. It hurt like hell seeing her in agony. I am her owner and I will forever be her owner. I am the one that holds the power to ease her from pain. However, it meant that I must go through life without having Elizabeth 3rd greeting me at the door. I breathed in heavily and nodded at Yoosung so he can get everything ready. I signed my heart away and the assistants and Yoosung were gracious enough to give me one last time alone with her. I got the nearest chair and I sat down right by her side.  *play the song so we both can die*

I took her paw into my hand and I already felt my tears escaping my eyes “I knew this day would eventually come but I always hoped it would be many years from now. I remember the first time I settled you into my home. I was a bit distant with you because I didnt know how to take care of a cat. So I just bought you high end pet food and hoped for the best. You were really patient with me because it did took me a while to know how to properly raise you. Its funny to say but we sure did get into many fights but at the end of the day I couldn’t get mad at you. You were always there meowing happily when I got home. It felt nice having someone excited to see me. You know something my sweet Elizabeth, I really cherish the time we had together. I just wished I could of spent so many more hours with you. I wish I could repay you for everything that you have done for me. You gave me a feeling of having a home and you always listened to me when I rabbled on so many idiotic nonsense. You gave me a chance to learn to express my emotions. You were there when my own blood wasn’t. It just kills me that I need to say goodbye to you Elizabeth. You are my hardest goodbye because I know people see you as a cat, but I saw you as my child. You brought life to my dull life. It kills me seeing you in pain Elizabeth. You don’t deserve to leave this world like this but just know ill be here till your last breath. I know life will be hard without having someone to welcome me home but you can let go now Elizabeth. Im ready to do this on my own and I’m going to miss you so much. I love you so much Elizabeth. You can let go now” I whispered. I leaned down and kissed her paw gently. I got up and hugged her and I notice she raised her head gently and licked some of my tears away. She purred and she laid her back down. I continue holding her paw till I noticed she stopped breathing. More tears were falling down my face and it was so hard to breathe. 

Wait for me at the rainbow bridge Elizabeth 3rd. 

I’ll be there to find you soon. 

Have fun with V. 

Landslide: Part One

                                             SUMMARY:

Dayton White (Logan Lucky) x Reader

When a tragic accident happens in the heart of your hometown - you’re forced to go back to the countryside you’d sworn to forget. In the midst of your world turning upside down you find yourself in a state of panic when the familiar face returns in your life, Dayton White. From the time you were young he was labeled in your mind as the man who got under your skin, with the past brimming to the surface - will you be able to fight off the landslide of love?

Word count: 3,804

Notes: Cursing, Character Death, Funeral

Let me know what you think! :) if this gets to 100 I’ll maybe do a part two. :)

Keep reading

Rika’s back and MC gets left P. 3

Rika is back and MC gets sick at the same time she feels abandoned. Part 1 (x) | Part 2 (x) | Part 3 (x) | Part 4 (x)Part 5 (x)

  • Initially you don’t trust Unknown he did lure you to an apartment that put you in harms way
  • But because of Unknown you met some of the best people before they felt like you werent good enough for them
  • At first you didn’t think his idea would work
  • But the first “trial” made you feel like dying would not only be heaven, it would feel like you were on cloud 9 even if you ended up in hell
  • Plus, Unknown really took to Paco and both got along
  • After a few visits  turned into a few weeks, you no longer had hope that you would ever attend another rfa event with everyone
  • You didn’t pay attention to how close you were to tasting the last lingering lifeline you had
  • All you cared about was that Paco was taken good care of
  • And that you were not feeling anything anymore
  • Whatever Unknown has been giving you, you wanted more…

– Jumin –

  • Jumin was not stupid
  • Emotions were all that clouded what was happening
  • He knew that everyone tended to be more sentimental than rational and that he may be seen as heartless and cold
  • But he was not stupid
  • At first Jumin didn’t find it off that Rika wasn’t the slightest concerned with MC bc maybe they have been talking in private
  • But after Jahee brought it up to him that she was concerned, he had to verify
  • He checked on the CCTV that showed MC’S apartment hallway when he showed her the building he didn’t tell her it was owned by him and that’s why it was cheaper for her and convenient for him to look after her which he hasn’t since Rika came back
  • He didn’t notice anything odd
  • It just looked like MC was a creature of habit; every day taking her dog out walking early and in the afternoon, leaving daily for work, and most of all
  • MC looked healthy
  • But something didn’t feel right

Jumin has entered the chatroom.
Jumin: MC When you see this, please call me.
Rika has entered the chatroom.
Rika: Is something the matter?
Jumin: No, I just needed to ask MC for her opinion on something.
Rika: Well, since I now handle emails and the party, why don’t you ask me? ^^
Jumin: It’s for something else, I’m sorry Rika.
Rika: Oh. I see. Well, hopefully MC logs in soon! I haven’t heard from them in a while.
Jumin: I thought you said you talked to her recently when Assistant Kang interrupted us during lunch?
Rika: Oh yes! I did, I forgot. Sorry~!;;
Jumin: I see. I must go now. Enjoy the rest of your day Rika.
Rika: Thank you, you too! ^^
Jumin has left the chatroom.

  • Jumin wasn’t convinced anymore
  • He would have to ask Seven to look into this when he came back from wherever he went
  • For now he’d have to do this alone
  • Jumin left the office, telling Assistant Kang to reschedule the days meetings for another day
  • He had Driver Kim take him to the apartment building MC was living in
  • He walked past the bellhop boy and made his way to MC’s door: 606
  • He knocked repeatedly with no response
  • Was she at work? No, too early… Did she take that animal for a walk?
  • He got tired of waiting and went to see the building manager and requested for the room access code to 606

But sir; no one lives there anymore. I thought you knew?
-What do you mean no one lives there? Where is MC?
Please, calm down sir. We only did what was said
-What was said? By whom?
By you. You were the one who requested that it be vacated as soon as possible. The previous owner left about a month ago…

  • Had it really been that long since MC last spoke to any of us? Why didn’t I notice?
  • Jumin panicked; if MC wasnt there, where was she?

– Unknown –

  • Unknown was only doing what he was told to do
  • He didn’t harbor any resentment towards MC, well not anymore
  • Maybe it was watching someone so sick slowly deteriorate that Unknown became more sympathetic towards her
  • Or maybe it was the dog
  • His Savior told him that by getting rid of MC, everything else would fall into place
  • Since he was sure the Savior would let MC go to Paradise first, he didn’t feel all too guilty
  • So of course, Unknown did it all for Paradise

– 707 –

707 has entered the chatroom.
Rika: Hello Seven, how was your trip? ^^
707: I didn’t even get to go and play in the ocean. Vanderwood had me on a tight leash ;;
Rika: At least she’s looking out for you! You should really listen to her~
707: …but I wanted to swim until I couldn’t! There’s no water in space. Well, not a lot like the ocean. Ah, Vanderwood caught me slacking off.
Rika: Focus on your work Seven, but also relax every once in awhile ^^
707: 707 will take your words into consideration..  MAYBE I SHOULD TAKE ANOTHER VACATION LOLOL! byyyyeee
707 has left the chatroom.

  • It felt strange and lonely without MC
  • Seven didn’t know if he should consult V and Rika with what Jumin told him
  • He should though because V was supposed to be the one person he could count on
  • But when Jumin asked for no one to know about this, not even V or Rika, he became concerned
  • What if MC really is in danger? But Rika said she was fine… unless she lied…
  • Seven got the videos from the apartment building and found that the videos had been tampered
  • He went back to when the tampering began taking him back to 2 months ago
  • Had I been gone that long trying to get into Russia?
  • The last two videos that didn’t look tampered with happened to be the video of MC going for a run
  • After that all later videos were edited
  • Looking at the time stamp Seven tried to find the GPS history of her phone
  • But she left it in the apartment
  • Seven looked through the GPS history and only one time did something not follow her normal schedule
  • She went to the hospital a day after the video of MC going for a run
  • Did she get hurt?
  • Seven tried to see if there was any way to see where MC was
  • But she was gone
  • her phone was gone, the GPS wasn’t there; MC was no longer in the technological world where Seven could find her
  • Dammit!
  • Seven looked at the robot cat he worked on for MC
  • “Master doesn’t seem happy meow~ why aren’t you happy? Master is scared~”

– Unknown –

  • It was almost too easy for MC to disappear
  • The doctor she saw was a member of Mystic Eye
  • on orders by the Savior, he gave his files and anything with MC to Unknown who would be sure to destroy all traces of her
  • Unknown cleared his computer files that belonged to MC and all records of her visiting this hospital
  • Unknown cleared all videos of the doctor going into stores to buy things for MC and Paco
  • But looking at how MC still smiled at Unknown despite his intentions, his heart swelled
  • Don’t look at me like that!
  • “Is something the matter Unknown?”
  • No; he couldn’t get mad at her
  • towards the RFA he could
  • They were to blame for her getting so sick
  • they left her alone, tossing her to the side as if she were a used toy that everyone got bored of
  • they didnt even seem to care that she had been missing for over a month now 
  • they dont deserve her 
  • they never did
  • Call me Saeran, we should be on first name bases now
  • “If you say so Saeran” MC smiled, then coughed, leaning over the side of the bed to dry heave into the bucket Saeran left for her
  • Paco whimpered, expressing what Saeran felt

– 707 –

  • When he looked into the computer files of the hospital MC was at, he didn’t find anything
  • He even looked for people that would fit MC’S description and still, nada
  • Seven second guessed himself, maybe MC didn’t go to the hospital but probably took someone?
  • He almost gave up until he found a backdoor that had one message:

She’s terminally ill. You all should have looked after her better. -Unknown

– Jumin –

  • Jumin felt guilty, shame, and resentment
  • Guilty that they pushed MC away when she probably needed them the most
  • Shame that he promised he’d look after her breaking the promise when Rika came back
  • Resentment that MC didn’t try harder to get help
  • Jumin knew he had to tell the other RFA members
  • But because how much it revolves around Rika’s return, he didn’t want her to feel at fault …

Maybe she had something to do with this?
Don’t be impossible, it’s Rika were talking about
She did fake her death though and had us mourning
It was all for RFA’s safety!
From what?

  • Jumin needed wine no something stronger than wine
  • He was doing what he hated and that was letting his feelings cloud his judgment

– 707 –

  • Seven knew
  • He knew MC was still alive with Unknown, he didn’t however know was that she was seriously sick like almost seconds away from forever ceasing to exist 
  • Not until he traced the IP address from that message
  • He hacked into the security cameras in the building where MC was and his heart broke
  • There
  • lying in a bed with a dog, was a thin and sick MC
  • her face hollow and her body weak and feeble
  • But she still smiled
  • She was petting her dog and smiling towards the person who had their back to the camera
  • If that’s Unknown, why is she smiling at him?
  • Oh no
  • Seven looked in horror as MC doubled over, coughing what looked like blood into a bucket while Unknown rubbed her back as if he was supporting her 
  • What did we do to you MC? What did I do to you?  
  • Seven closed his eyes, conjuring the last time he spoke with MC and hearing her smile through the phone as they talked about the moon and space
  • What did we do to you?

Finally Singing A Requiem

A short, random little drabble;

What if Evan did know Connor better before he took his own life? What if that scene where Heidi asks him about Connor Murphy had gone differently?

~

Evan stared at his laptop screen. He willed himself not to cry anymore. He’d spent the last few days on the verge of tears and it was exhausting. Of course, not nearly as exhausting as the dull, constant pressure on his chest.

His laptop had been opened on a picture of Connor for the past 30 minutes. The picture of Connor. The only picture of him he had, the only picture he took of him.

The only picture he could ever take of him.

Evan’s head was aching from the days of crying. All he could think about, was the last time he saw Connor. If only he could’ve been able to tell Connor was in so much pain… If only he knew about how he was treated at home… If only he hadn’t been too blinded by his ‘I love you’ to ask more questions… If only he hadn’t let him walk away from him that day…

Great, here come the tears again.

Suddenly Evan heard his mother’s footsteps approaching his door. Evan quickly wiped his face on his shirt collar and cleared his throat.

His mother came in carrying a pile of papers. College scholarship essay contests, it turned out. His mother was so excited about what college could be for Evan, but he couldn’t focus on anything other than Connor, let alone college.

After making plans for a taco tuesday and essay subject brainstorming session with his mother, she went quiet for a minute before speaking up again.

“Hey. I, um, I got an email from your school today. About a boy who killed himself? Connor Murphy? I didn’t, I had no idea.” She carefully explained.

Evan felt his heart stop. He was not prepared to talk about this with anyone. He was not expecting for his mother to bring it up. To bring him up.

“Oh. Yeah. Well… I didn’t really know him.” Evan lied, trying to end the conversation where it started.

“You know that… if you ever, if you want to talk about anything… I realize that lately it must feel like, I’m always working or I’m in class…” His mother explained guiltily.

“It’s fine.” Evan assured her.

“Well, I’m here. And if I’m not here here, I’m a phone call away. Or text. Email. Whatever.” His mother said, giving him a warm, sympathetic look.

“Thanks.” Evan replied, really hoping this was the end of the conversation.

Yet, his mother still stood in the middle of his room. She still had something to say.

“All right. It says 'Connor.’” Heidi finally said, pointing at Evan’s cast.

Evan froze for a moment. He’d completely forgotten the signature on the cast. Even though Connor had made it enourmous. 'I like to mark my territory.’ He’d said.

“Oh. Yeah. No.” Evan tried to deny it, but he felt hot tears behind his eyes. No, not now.

“You said you didn’t know him.” His mother questioned.

“No. I didnt. This is…” Evan began, but couldn’t think of a single thing to say. His brain felt numb. His whole body felt numb. He’d managed to hide Connor from his mother, but this… This was too much. He could barely get himself out of bed, and now his mother had straight up confronted him about it. There was no way he could lie his way out of this.

Suddenly he burst into tears.

Heidi stood still, shocked, for a second before flying to her son’s side, wrapping her arms around him.

“Oh honey.” She said, brushing Evan’s short blond hair as he cried. “Why didn’t you tell me?” She asked.

Evan needed time to catch his breath. After some deep inhales followed by slow exhales, he was finally able to get some words out between sobs.

“I don’t- he- we weren’t… No one knew we were… friends.” He tried to explain.

“Why not?” Heidi questioned softly.

“We- we’re… We were-” Evan hiccuped, “so different. A-and people… People don’t understand.” He explained.

“Oh sweetie… I’m so sorry.” Heidi said, her heart breaking at the sight of her son so devastated. “I can’t imagine what losing a friend feels like.”

“I-I loved h-him.” Evan sobbed.

“I know, honey, I’m so sorry.” She continued to brush his hair in an attempt to comfort him.

“No, I r-really lo-loved him.” Evan tried to explain, sobs completely taking over his body now.

And Heidi understood. She had no idea Evan had anyone he spent his time with, let alone someone he loved. Suddenly she felt such anger. How could his poor son, who had been lonely for years, lose the person he loved, having finally found them? The world was a cruel place and she wanted nothing more than to protect her son, but now all she could do was hold him as he cried his heart out.

“I’m so sorry.” She kept repeating as Evan cried and cried.

For a long while, Heidi just held Evan and let him cry. It had been a long time since Evan let her this close, let her see how he felt.

After Evan finally calmed down, Heidi sat and listened to him talk about Connor Murphy. Evan had a million stories about how he was intimidated by Connor when they first met and how they’d go on rides in Connor’s car and how he’d drawn pictures of Evan even though he protested. How he helped Evan through anxiety attacks and how Evan helped him through withdrawals. How he told Evan he loved him and how even though it lead to Evan having an anxiety attack, it was the best day of Evan’s life. How everyone saw him as a bad guy but how Evan thought he was the most caring person he’d met.

She never got the chance to meet him, but through Evan’s stories and the small smile that graced his features when he did, Heidi got to love Connor Murphy too.

As unbelievably painful as losing the person you love is, she was glad Evan had these memories, these moments with Connor. She’d never seen him with such spark in his eyes than when he talked about Connor.

That night, when she went to bed, Heidi looked up at the night sky and silently thanked Connor Murphy and wished he was no longer in pain.

In another room of the house, Evan dug up the note Connor had left for him, held it tight and did the very same thing.

~

If you have any ideas for deh fics, do send them my way, I’d love to write your prompts. My inbox is open! x

Okay antis, read the whole thing

So, I joined TCC like week ago (Ive been stalking yall for way longer tho lmaoo) and I decided to make my own post to antis. 

Ok so, first of all, this ain’t a serial killer fandom, thank you. TCC ain’t a fandom, bless you. 

Anyway, I’ll start with a little background alright ? So, I have been on tumblr maybe like 3 years, with different blogs. When I joined tumblr, I had an eating disorder and I used to have just a regular beauty blog, I saw pictures of other beautiful, skinny, anorectic, girls and compared myself to them daily. I posted my face there, my body, just everything, and I got a lot of compliments, mostly from men, adult men(I was a minor) and I started to feel like I need their acceptance and I need to be skinny and pretty in order to get it. I was well liked, I seemed happy and I made myself seem perfect, I was skinny, I took pictures with tons of makeup and filters. But in order to maintain that, I didn’t eat, I was really depressed, I had suicidal thoughts and shit. But I kept it going, really, those skinny girls you see on tumblr, they haven’t eaten in days to get those ribs showing, and in order to look so perfect they took tons of pictures, pushing their body in the weirdest positions, that are not normal, and it hurts to take those pictures. But that was all that I had, I thought I needed to be pretty, in order to be liked and happy. I thought I needed to be skinny or all the people would leave. 

Then, one day I was listening to one song from Roope, he rapped about Jokela’s school massacre, I was really depressed back then, I had never been interested in any fictional characters, shows and such, I had always loved to read real stories and news about violent crimes, murders, etc since I was a little, I don’t know why, they excited me, but I just thought I was weird and that there weren’t any other people like me. Well, I went to read about the massacre, and there I found my way to read about columbine as well, I got really interested in it. I read everything about it and on some page the word “columbiners” catched my eye. I was like “omg, school shooter fandom, so gross, terrible, sick kids omg lolol they prolly planning a school shooting!!!!!111!! CALL THE POLICE !!!111!”, yea, just like you anti guys, I was one of yall too.

But I couldn’t help myself, and I went to tumblr and hit the search. I was shocked, I found people just like me, I found people who were also interested in violent crimes and murderers, I found people who didn’t say I was sick or weird for finding interest in those things. I found TCC. I felt like here I can talk about everything that fascinates me.

Then I joined TCC, people werent throwing their skinny bodies and makeup caked faces everywhere, I didn’t need to stress, everyone was just being themselves, making memes and jokes about dylann roof forgetting his damn age, no one was planning a fucking mass murder, I didnt need to be skinny, pretty and perfect, I didn’t need to fake anymore. I was able to openly talk about my interests and not just keep all my thoughts inside, because if I had kept all them inside, I would’ve definitely exploded at some point. Before TCC I thought I didnt belong, I thought no one understood me, I thought I was sick and something was wrong with me and everyone else was normal. But here, if I feel suicidal I can just hit someone up and they will talk me through it, I need advice? Literally anyones ready to help you. Violent thoughts ? EVERYONES READY TO TALK WITH YOU AND HELP YOU TO GET RID OF THEM, NO ONE IS COURAGING YOU TO SHOOT UP A SCHOOL U FUCKING DUMB CORNDOGS. 

 Theres much higher chance for those people with violent thoughts and interest in this kind of stuff to commit something if they feel like there is no one like them and they are left outside. But if you actually find people like you, community like TCC, you feel like you are not alone, there are people who understand you, you feel accepted somewhere. The fact TCC doesnt fail to also put a little fun in the mix w all the serious stuff also, is really amazing too. Now your thoughts must be that “you need therapy u sick fuck, kill yourself” thank you for your concern love, I do go to therapy ! And many people in the TCC do ! Telling us to kill ourselves will definitely not help us, or make us want to leave TCC, the community, that actually supports us and doesnt want us to go and take our life. It just makes us to feel more like outsiders and that we dont belong anywhere but TCC, so jot that down.

Next point, is that the ones here interested in Columbine ARE NOT FUCKING HAPPY ABOUT THE SHOOTING, THEY WISH THEY COULDVE BEEN THERE FOR THE BOYS AND SHOWED THEM THAT THERE ARE PEOPLE LIKE THEM, AND THAT THEY DONT NEED TO DO IT. There are people out there just like Dylan and Eric, some of them have found TCC, and have found people who accept them, bullied kids have found a safe place where they can talk about their thoughts and dont have to keep them inside. The teenagers, interested in Columbine, have found friends here that get them up in the morning when the bullies are trying to push them down.

 And if you are gonna say now that u aim your shit at the kids who say they condone, then just think about yourself, or some of your friends, when you were 13, I was a fucking edgy emo kid too, they get over it okay ? Dont tell them to kill themselves for it, they will understand it eventually, they are rebelling teenagers, just chill the fuck out. If you need to do something, try to calmly talk to them about it and tell that you understand how they feel right now, but things get better and why its not okay to say that. Just, calm, the, fuck, down. Jesus.

 Also if you are gon say “u sick fucks serial killer worshippers omg”, then you are on the wrong lane honey. On the serial killer side of the TCC people are mostly just writing down facts, traits to spot a serial killer, how abusive parents and such are usually related to these things, how to avoid these things from happening again, or making jokes and editing pictures to make the killers look dumb as fuck. And then about that some people find the killers attractive? So fucking what? Pretty sure that doesnt affect your fucking day in any way, and also, Richard Ramirez had really nice cheeckbones no matter is he a murderer or not, thats a fucking fact, amen. 

 If you are mad about that kid who said that tcc should be part of the pride: THE WHOLE FUCKING TCC IS DISAGREEING WITH THEM, LIKE LITERALLY ONE PERSON DOESNT REPRESENT THE WHOLE COMMUNITY, IT DOESNT WORK LIKE THAT, YOU CANT JUST PICK SOME DUMB KID AND SAY THAT EVERYONE IN THE WHOLE FUCKING WORLD IS LIKE THEM.

Then last, may I ask, dont you ever get tired of being so angry? Like do yall eat salt for breakfast? Jesus.

Avengers discussing the game plan : Infinity War

Nat: thanos is comming and you put a kid in a suit with instant kill mode

Ganora: Do you have no consideration for anyones safety at all what if he would have gotten hurt

Falcon: Look at that Parker .. the ladies are all over you

Gamora: Shut it Bird boy

Parker: *giggling*

Falcon: You already have problems with birds .. I dont think you want another

Parker: O-OH *shifting uncomfortably*

Tony: Look ok I did what i thought would protect him

Strange: You put a 12 year old in a supersuit

Parker: Im 15 a-actually sir

Bucky: at least its a suit all you got are rags a cape and a shiny necklace..

Strange: yeah a shiny necklace and magic powers that can blast your arm off …. OH WAIT -

Bucky: Someone say the words im putting this guy down-

Strange: And its NOT a cape

Falcon: Its a cape dude .. it flaps in the wind its a cape

Strange: cloak

Clint: Its a cape bro

Strange: And if i use my powers to snap all of your arrows in half then what

Clint: Id have to set my buddy black panther on you

Tchalla: We are not friends…. i still dislike all of you equally but we have a bigger matter at hand

AntMan: Yeah guys shouldnt we be more worried about Big purple guy

Groot: I am -

Cap: Groot .. Yes .. We know

Thor: I do not think he understands

Rocket: well yeah no Shit Sherlock

Tony/Strange: *Raised eyebrow*

Cap: You guys now is not the time to be fighting eachother … We have our differences yes … some of us no longer see eye to eye .. But that shouldnt stop us from working together to save the innocent people .. even if that means holding hands with an enemy *looks to Loki*

Star Lord: Im just saying maybe if your buddy in the green spandex and unicorn helmet wouldnt have-

Loki: there are two horns you imbecile ..

Tony: Hush up Rudolf Hitler its your fault we are really in this mess

Thor: I still do believe Captain America has got this right. We must fight for honour. We are warriors this world depends upon us to keep it safe .. then we shall do just that.

Parker: *vlogging* first week in the avengers and there have been 17 arguments like this … who would have thought the worlds greatest heroes -

Bucky: Who let this twerp bring a video camera in here are you serious

Vision: If I were you I would not start a conflict with the amount of tension in this room at the moment .. If my calculations are correct Mr.Strange and I are the two most powerful beings and we would not hesitate to keep you at bay

Strange: DOCTOR

War Machine: yeah lets NOT let vision do anything I dont feel like getting hit with a mind blast that could leave me paralyzed from the waist down VISION

Falcon: OooooOH

Cap: The man has a valid point

Vision: You were putting wandas life at risk

Wanda: I made my choice vision you cant keep hovering over me

Vision: But-

Hawkeye: HA .. bet you didnt see that coming

Wanda: *magically choke clint*

Hawkeye: *gasping* too soon ??

Tchalla: You are all disorganised .. we have got bigger problems to deal with than your petty fudes with eachother

Hulk: Tchalla is right .. We all had a part in this mayham .. Unltron giving vison his powers Loki and the tesseract the Sakovia accords everything we have done has led to this moment .. we cant pin the blame on any one person

*silence*

Nat: ……You werent even here You hopped on a plane and left you asshole

War Machine: Whos this guy ? Tony You know this guy?

Tony: Yeah who the hell are you we were supposed to be science bros for life

Ant Man: Oh for christ sakes BIG FLOATING PURPLE GUY IN THE SKY WITH THE ABILITY TO DICENTIGRATE THE PLANET

Rocket: Hey youve got one more time to yell about the big purple what ever the hell in my ear before i literally eat you alive

Cap: We go in …. we do what we do best …. We go about our lives …… We dont have time for this anymore
Avengers -……

Groot: I AM GROOT

Tony: …….. Last one there pays for the damage!!

Top five worst Sonic Archie issues

So a while back me and @greenyvertekins​ talked a bit about our favorite Sonic Archie moments, I was thinking of doing a TOp five/top ten favorite Sonic archie issues but honestly the moments I and Greenyvertekis mentioned were pretty much my favorite/best issues. So if you want to read here! most of them are also from the best written arcs so …..

Then I thought, wouldn’t it be fun to do a top five WORST Sonic arche issues instead? :) (warning Im from the Netherlands so my English is bad, feel free to spell correct me!)

Number 05 Issue 172

Going pretty low in the list because despite this being one of  my least favorite issues it should be noted that this was the start from the comic getting better and better at this point, this ugly-face just was the blacksheep from that collection.

Not only was the cover a bad reminder that the comic was seen as bad-furry-romance-drama which I really hoped the comic wanted to distant itself from it, the entire issue is a sadlyalso  bad-furry-drama. It starts off with Amy Rose confronting Fiona Fox about the rumors that she heard from Tails that she is cheating on Sonic with Scourge, (the Green Edgy Sonic recolor) Now the story of Fiona Fox is a pretty sad one, she never had much of a character to begin with. She was first introduced as a robot in her child form to lure Tails into a trap. It turns out that Eggman based her off a real person: Fiona Fox who someway or another was left behind by Mighty and Sonic in Eggman’s prison and she manage to escape but stil holding a grudge and got angry at them for it, That is mostly what I remember her from in the past issues. From then on she would just be background character number 55 a freedom fighter with no dialog, the only times I sort of remember her was that she liked the idea of using guns, and that Sonic was afraid for Tails to be rejected by the too-old-for-you girl Fiona.Sonic wanted to talk to FIona about this issue and she mentions she still thinks SOnic is selfish for leaving her behind but that his sacrifice in issue 125 made her change her mind somewhat, That’s it. Now the weird story behind Fiona is that Karl Boilers planned to use her as a second-love interest for Sonic after Sonic broke up with Sally. Sonic was supposed to enter a relationship with Amy Rose shortly after the Sonic/Sally break up. (Keep in ind that Amy Rose back then was still 10 years old mentally at that time YIKES.) and Fiona for whatever reason was to become a rival to Amy for Sonic’s affections. Now Ken Penders apparently interfered with this idea and Karl and Ken changed it into…Fiona Fox becoming Sonic’s girlfriend instead…out of the blue….out of nowhere. At least with Amy you knew she had a crush on Sonic but with Fiona? why would Sonic ever enter a relationship with a girl he hardly interacted with and with a girl his best friend was crushing on? ..moving on various issues later and writer Karl Boilers and Ken Penders were no longer on board and new writer Ian Flyn entered into the picture it was by then far too late to clean up this mess and I could tell from the comic’s writing that Ian wasn’t sure what to do with Fiona, he tried to give her a more Sally-personality with a bad history but that felt tripped and forced. He knew he had to break the two characters off and he thought the best way to do that was to reveal that Fiona Fox became a bad-girl who fell in love with Scourge due to the events off Sonic 150 (dont worry that issue will be brought up later)

Not only did this came out of no where, it felt forced even if Fiona had no character it felt like she really was just a pawn of a writer not sure what to do with her. It also didnt help that the issue ends in a weird anticlimatic way  and in the next issue most of the characters dont even talk or seem to be phazed with Fiona’s betrayel and  Sonic would be slightly flirtatious with Sally and Amy in the next issue too, (Really Sonic you just got dumped.) The issues saving grace is a cute side story with Amy Rose and Julie Su training together and some decent/good art overall.

Number 04 Knuckles the Echidna issue 32

Yes Knuckles does count as part of the Sonic series, and if the list would be Knuckles comic focused this would have been number one. Not only was this the last issue of probably the most boring arc I ever read It also nailed the coffin on the Knuckles series as it was canned after this issue. It introduced two very uncreative very Un-SegaSonic like characters: Monk and Hunter whose design and motivations are as generic as you can imagine. Ken Penders tries to make you feel for the Monk-character but I dont think anyone was convinced. I own this issue as well and HONESTLY I forgot I even read this issue as a child it was that forgettable, even in my Knucklesfangirl phase as soon as I finished reading the last 3 issues I forgot about it, It also doesnt help that the covers while nicely drawn by Galan were cluttered and too busy, Ken Penders did the book’s art and while he did a perfect job drawing Hunter his cartoon characters were always off-model and the way he draws large mangaeyes didn’t look well. In other words the art wasnt good either.

I only remember these issues  because of @hedgehogscantswim​ review, which I suggest you guys read into as they go into much greater depth on their blog on the flaws of the art, the character designs of Monk and Hunter and the overall big problem the last issue has.  

Number 3 Sonic issue 134

Oh Yeah let’s talk about the big one, let’s talk about the issue that caused many Sonic fans to drop the comic, lets talk about the issue that split the fanbase in half and what made the Sonic-Archie comics the laughing stock of Sonic spin offs for years to come until Ian Flyn joined and the much later soft-Reboot. If the Sally/Sonic/Mina love drama didn’t convince people that the comic had badfurryromance drama this issue sure did.

Sonic sacrificed himself in issue 125 to save the world,  but was transported to a different planet cause science, he survived and had space adventures with Aliens, met up with Tails parents somehow…(Really those issues are all a blur too me at this point.) he came back to Mobuis only to discover a year has passed since then, he reunites with his nowwithlonghair girlfriend Sally and by issue 125, Sally makes it clear to Sonic that she wants him by his side as she is sort-of forced by her parents to no longer be on the battle field. However Sonic cant possibly do that, he is the hero after all, he cant be tied down Sally clearry suffering from trauma after Sonic’s death begs him to stay by her side, Sonic  tearfully tells her he can’t and Sally takes Sonic’s rejection pretty well and says that she knows being a hero is in Sonic’s blood and decides to reject her parents wishes and join her boyfriend and the rest of her friends on the battle field.

No wait Never mind, she SLAPS him across the face and calls him Selfish and breaks up with him afterwards.

Not only did this issue came in the worst possible time when the Sonally/Sonamy ship wars was rampant in the Online Sonic fandom communities. The motivation and reason for Karl Boilers to do this was in such a bad taste as well. Karl who MOST Likely was aware of the growing popularity of the Sonamy ship and the hatred the sonamy fanbase had for Sally, from people calling her a marry sue, a slut because her lack of pants, ugly due to her brown color sceme, and other funny-horrible things because shipping is serious business, Probably wanted to win and be favored by a part of the Sonic fan base and had outlined plans to have Sonic and Amy Rose become an official couple in the comics. (Even if Karl wrote Amy Rose as a 10 year old mentally girl with a body of a 12 year old together with a 17 year old teen Sonic.) They had to become a couple. How to do this you ask? by breaking Sonic/Sally up and portraying  Sally out to be a selfish cunt of a woman, not only was this so disgustingly out of character and a slap to the face to the sonally and Sally fans, it was all to make the fans to transaction to the idea of Sonamy instead. It didnt help Sally’s position in the fanbase and she along with Chris and Elise would be among the list of the most hated characters where extreme Sonamy fanbrats now had valid proof on their side.It would take years for Sally to recover. To add insult to injury the only nice thing about the issue is the introduction of new artist John Gray (whose animish-cartoondisneyish style was colorful, pleasant and very pleasing to the eye! was more then needed at that time since the art quality standards was low back then. )John has stated he did NOT like working on this issue either due to the content and story. I am so thankful that Sally has been much better written for years now.

Number 02 Sonic Super Special issue 07 Crossover with Image Comics

Where to start with this, oh boy oh boy. I put this very high on the list because this has to be one of the worst crossovers spin ofss I have ever had the pleasure of reading. and I mean that the Powerrangers/TMNT crossover was more enjoybale that this mess. This is also very high on the list not only because the art was below average and many characters were off models but Mister Ken Penders used this crossover special to shoehorn his own ‘’characters’ from his comic book series the Lost Ones. (who btw got canned after only volume 01) his characters got the most attention out of everyone else. A image-comics with Sonic crossover already sounds sort of weird and silly but hey I am Spawn fangirl, I am intrigued. But I dont even get that.

(oh wait, this is fucking it, Spawn appears for about a page to say no to Sonic and then leaves thats it??) FOR FUCK SAKE….

Honestly @robotnikholmescomicblog​ gave this comic a great review and I suggest going to their tag of Ken-Penders-Why as they bring out most of the flaws of Ken Penders writing and they said it better then I ever will.

Overall the issue is just a mess, with shallowcheap cameos of image characters, Sonic and the freedom fighters being DICKS to most of the human characters for no reason, a very anti climatic ending and a giant commercial for Ken Penders doomed and boring characters that nobody gave a dam about) characters that he planned to use in ‘’The Lost ones’’ and Knuckles 20 years later. With a character hinting to become Knuckles’s greatest enemy yet with a very ugly boring design that could rivals Hunter. (btw none of these concepts go anywhere, Lost Ones was canned, and Knuckles 20 years later didnt come in fruition the way Ken Penders wanted.)

and number 5, worst issue Sonic issue 150


This is my most least favorite issues up to date and why you might ask

well for one thing the art is okay, I give it that but it doesnt even start with Sonic,

no we get a quick-reveal  of AntiSonic pretending to be the real Sonic flirting with all the girls in knothole

We get uncomfortable panels of Mina Mongoose almost cheating on her boyfriend with Sonic, Sonic and Bunnie making out and falling asleep next together, Sonic being creepy at Amy ect and none of the girls seem to realize that this is obvious not the real Sonic but ANti-Sonic. Everbody fails to notice that Sonic is  trying to flirt with all the girls he gets his eyes on. Only Tails seems to quistion it. Shows how much his own friends seem to know him. Or his own freaking family. The real Sonic is stuck in anti-mobuis and is busy trying to convince them that he is not AntiSonic, it’s very boring and dull. Also since the real Ant was stuck in anti Mobuis couldn’t he have tried to come back to his own world with Sonic? I dont know that just confused the heck out of me, The extra side story also doesn’t help, Its the conclusion to TailS ‘’the Chosen One’’ which was,,,pretty lame too with bland-art, and has the unfortunate of introducing the fanbase to the still-hilarious Titan Tails


(OHfuckmethat’sstupid.)

So the stories are stupid, the art is okay and lame. Why is it so high on the list?

It’s THE 150 anniversary issue and this is how Karl and Ken apparently wanted to celebrate it? It also doesn’t help that the cover is really underwhelming and boring compared to the 125th issue but that’s it’s least of its problems. A short while later Ian Flyn and Tracey joined the team and Ken and Karl left. For the better. But talk about a lame way to celebrate a 150th milestone. What a waste. 

Helpless, Homeless (Josh Dun) Part 1

A/N

Heyo guys this is going to be a short multipart series if thats alright as I didnt want to squeeze it all into one update I hope you enjoy it 

Words: 1,500+

triggers: Mentions of physical abuse, homelessness and stealing

if you find any of these triggers sensitive to you then please don’t read as I would much rather someone stays safe than read one of my fics.

If anyone would like to talk to me about any of the triggers in this fic or anything else my inbox is always open if you want someone to talk to or if you want someone to listen. 

***

Abandoned, stranded, homeless. Those are all terms that could be used to describe my current situation as a pleading beggar, who lies helpless on the cold concrete slabs hoping and praying for the smallest morsel of food to survive on, if i find any I am lucky it means that I got there before the pigeons did. I sit alone hoping that a generous commuter would chuck me a few pence on their way to work which would be enough for me to do the walk of shame to the nearest convenience store, there I would be able to look longingly and hungrily through the shelves as I see what I am able to buy with my precious pennies. This isnt the life I dreamed of as a small girl playing with my dolls, I dreamed of being a princess living in a magnificent castle with my knight in shining armour there by my side to protect me. However the results of me getting older meant that the dream life i had planned for myself had become unrealistic and impossible. If I could show 7 year old Y/N where she was currently at the age of 25 she would be scared stiff. At the age of 17 I then knew that my young and ignorant dreams of becoming royalty and living in an elegant ancient castle were not what I wanted. I wanted to have a home, a safe home for me and my family no prince with shining armor, just me and a man I love and our little family, I wanted to have a stable job that meant I was able to take my dream family on tropical holidays. Was that to much to ask? It seems as though it was. 

I retreat back the small home that I had made for myself in a back alley away from the unsafe streets. I would sit on the hard pavement during the day begging for food and money or anything that would help me get back on my feet however in the evenings I hide away as best as I can trying my hardest not to be to exposed to the unfair world we live in. Its not safe for a young girl to alone on the streets at night, especially a young girl who has no where to go and is in a vulnerable position like myself. my trembling fingers pick apart at the sandwich I had purchased quickly eating it so I could sleep and rest for the night. It was a cold night a freezing one in fact, and it is on night like these I truly wonder to myself what is even the point of living if this is what I am living for? I lie down on the cardboard that I had placed down for me to sleep on, I shudder as my back collides with the cold solid surface. It was my mattress, and I was very careful with it as it is the only thing that is separating me from the concrete slabs.

As soon as I shut my eyes the sounds of the clustered streets around me are heightened dramatically, it feels as though the fast cars are heading straight towards me even though I am safe. Well, as safe as you can be when you are a poor young girl living on the city streets.

Unfortunately, my mind whizzes back to night that I ended up on the streets for the first time. My parents had split up when i was 16 and I was still living at home with my mum and my dad had moved out, i never pressured my parents into telling me why they broke up, the last thing i wanted to do was start a heated argument over something that isn’t that important. However I do know that they didnt end on good terms, they stayed away from each other and couldn’t bare to look each other in the eyes. My mother was lonely and angry I can understand why, but what I will never understand is why she decided to take out her loneliness and anger on me. She stopped me from seeing my beloved father, she believed that if she wasn’t going to be able to see my dad then she didnt want me to be able to see him either. From then on it proceeded to get worse. She would come home every night get drunk, sleep for a while, wake up, the beat me. She would beat me when I would go to check on her and make sure she was all right, consequently she would lash out on me out of pure spite and jealousy.

It got to the point where I couldn’t handle it anymore and I wanted to leave and never see her again, I packed up all my belongings and left, I didnt have much I didnt care because all my sights were set on getting out of there and as far away as possible. I walked and walked nd walked and then I ended up in a city in Columbus, Ohio. Here I am, helpless and alone.

I have just woken up to the sound of the commuters going to work in the early hours. This is usually how I am woken up on a weekday, I am used to it. I pack up a few of most valuable things and take them with me. The las time i forgot to do this all my personal belonging were stolen and it was terrible. I can never understand why someone would steal off of a homeless person. Haven’t they lost enough?

7 hours, that’s how long i have been sitting here and I haven’t even raised enough for a sandwich. I was desperate, it never usually gets to this point where I even consider stealing however today is different, and I don’t really know why.

I take my personal belongings with me as I shuffle towards a convenience store to see what I was able to buy today. I go to the clearance section and with my measly coins i am unable to buy anything. I was stuck, what was I going to do? I am starving right now what am I going to be like in a few hours?

I reach out for the sandwich and hastily shove it in the inside of my jacket pocket just after i checked my surrounding area. I walk round the shop for a few more seconds wanting it to appear as though I was still browsing the items before I left. As I was about to complete a successful theft and leave the shop I felt a strong grip tight around my arm, I was expecting whoever it was who had a firm hold on me to be a worker or some type of security worker. Considering this, I concluded that if it was a worker or a security worker they would have made a scene out of this and would have made their actions more known to the people in the surrounding area. But this person was subtle and I wasn’t feeling any kind of aggression in their hold.  

I look up and see a man, not a worker, just a man. I catch myself thinking just a man however he his appearance doesn’t strike me ‘just’ a man. His salmon hair was attempting to escape from under his baseball cap, I was able to see that he has dark eyes that stared down at me with an emotion I can only describe as care, he had arms painted in ink of beautiful designs that had been carefully crafted. I found it difficult to look at this and not think him attractive as he was. However I will not allow myself to think such things as I am in such a position, it would be foolish.

This man pulls away from the exit of the shop and we hide in one of the aisle as to not be seen by any of the workers.

“Let me buy that for you” This man said, this man who I had only met a matter of seconds before hand was offering to buy me some food.

I dont say a word, I have leant not to trust people so easily over the years, and I hand over the food.

He takes it and walks over to get a bottle of water and a chocolate bar, which I could only assume that was what he actually came in for then he goes towards the till. He buys the items and gestures me out of the shop.

“Here you go” He says grinning, a flurry of emotions overwhelmed me I suddenly felt extremely embarrassed that I had let an attractive man see me in such a state.

“Thank you” I whisper and take the bag out of hands, I peer in, I see that the water and chocolate wasnt for him, it was for me along with the sandwich I had attempted to steal earlier.

“My name is Josh, what’s yours?” 

I look at the man who I now as Josh and see that he isn’t looking at me like I was a tramp, he is looking at me like I am an actual person and that is something that hasn’t happened to me in a long time. 

“Y/N”

Change of Fate

I seriously dont know what this is or where it came from. I started writing it for @maruthor ’s birthday and then it turned out like this….


Please give me some type of feedback in whether this is as shit as I think it is or not…

—————–

It was so funny, that you figured that if there were any guests, they wouldn’t stop talking about it. It felt as if the situation itself just mocking you, rubbing itself on your ace like a dirty old rag.But there weren’t any guests. Only his brothers, his father and his butler.

Jason had wanted a small wedding with no guests at all, but as he had said his family was necessary.

But this, this wasn’t right.

The moment Dick’s phone rang all heads turned to him. Nervously he decided to check the ID of the caller and realising he couldn’t recognize the number he gave it to Bruce. Unfortunately, the phone stopped ringing the moment Bruce got his hands on it, but came back to life a few seconds later. Dick stared at the screen, only to face the same unknown number once again, and by taking a quick look on your face he quickly picked up.

“Ahh, it’s him” he muttered. Dick’s ear was filled with words that came out of Jason as he watched your face fall apart. You couldn’t listen to what Dick was saying to Jason because the pending of your heart in your ears wouldn’t allow you to.

They all knew. They saw you as you fell apart the moment Dick asked whether Jason wanted to talk to you or not. The only people who had never looked at you as if you were less, were now staring at you with such pity, that made your gut want to burst and your insides feel like they’d crawl out any second later.

“I’m so sorry that had to happen” you quickly stopped Dick’s upcoming lecture with the plan of your hand. You wanted to throw up, to get that thing that was stuck in the back of your throat, out of your system, but you knew you could never force that. It would harm the only being that didn’t deserve to be hurt.


You looked down at your white clothed form, spotting that bump your belly was creating. It was faint, but it was still there, signaling the life who was slowly growing inside of you. The life who would be cursed to live swimming in filthy lies. They lies you’d have to say to cover Jason’s absence from your child’s life.


“IM FUCKING PREGNANT DICK! DIDNT HE EVEN THINK ABOUT THIS?” Your whole face was splattered with tears and run down make up and yet, some how, Dick didn’t hesitate to pull you in his chest, to slowly let you cry there. He was ashamed, and he felt so guilty on his own, because he knew Jason wasn’t going to feel this at the moment.


“I want to throw up”


____________

The next few months, were pure torture for you. You had decided to distant yourself from everyone in Jason’s family, change state and workplace, all the while having to live on your own.


You had no one to call all the nights you weren’t alright and there was no one to help you when you’d fall down. Your neighbors weren’t the best of people and didn’t exactly care that you were pregnant.


You even had to call an ambulance for your self the moment you went in labor.

And it was a mistake. Thinking that you could do everything in your own was a mistake. Thinking that you could get over Jason so quickly was a mistake, because the moment you stepped into the hospital you regretted even being alive. All the other women had their husbands or boyfriends with them, holding their hands and whispering reassuring words to them, while you were all alone, in a room with girls in the same condition as you. You were waiting patiently for the right moment for the baby to come, crying your eyes out at the thought of these girls. Just like you, they had to face their pregnancies alone and scared and one of them was crying more than you.

Your baby came sooner than any ones in the same room as you. They had been 6 hours of immense pain, but finally your little one had came into the world. Her cries, filling your ears, were the most relieving thing in the whole world. She was alive and well as you held her in her hands, feeding her her first ever meal.


But still it wasn’t fair. It was your last day st the hospital but when you woke up a very kind nurse had came to tell you that the father of your little daughter, had already taken her and was downstairs at the cafeteria.

After confirming that it was Jason the man she was talking about, you gathered all your strength and started running towards the direction she had given you. Your body felt like it would give up in less than seconds if you didn’t reach the cafeteria on time, but even when you did, you wished you had accidentally tripped over the stairs and died.


There wasn’t any power in your body left for you to scream at him, as you collapsed onto the floor and watched him go away with the little baby in his arms. Your eyes slowly closed as your body gave in to the pain in your limbs. You could never understand why Jason had taken everything away from your life and damaged you to end, but you wished to just die now, so he wouldn’t have to hurt you anymore.


Whether you could ever see your little daughter again, was another story though.

Wait Your Serious?

“Alright everyone people lets get back to the party!”

Everyone screamed and the lights cut back off and the party was in full swing again. Tony helped me off the stage and we made our way over to the bar. Tony got a whiskey and got me a martini. He started to talk to fury and Rodgers. I set my half-empty drink on the bar. I turned towards the back of Tony’s head and flicked it. He turned around shocked and I smiled. I walked over to the dance floor where Maria and Natasha was.

Buckys View:

Tony and Y/N came over to where we were and got them a drink. Tony started to talk to fury and Steve leaving Y/N alone. Why he would do that I dont know. She needs to be protected at all costs. Why do I care so much? I hardly even know the girl. While Tony was talking, Y/N flicked his head. He turned around with a look of betrayal and shock and Y/N just walked away smiling. I noticed she didnt point like she usually does or at least has been doing since I met her. When she was out of earshot we started to laugh at Tony. He turned back towards us and grumbled a shut up and then left. I turned back to the dance floor where Y/N was dancing with Romanoff and Hill. They turned her around and faced us. They then pointed at me and Y/N shrugged her shoulders and smiled. When she turned back around, I smiled.

"Hey Buck you listening?”
“Huh? Oh yeah. Yeah I’m listening.”
“Are you sure because it looks like your drooling over Y/N.”
“I am not”
”You are too Barnes. We all can see it.”
”I don’t know what your talking about.”
“Sure you don’t. Listen Barnes, Y/L/N is like a daughter to me, if you hurt her, she’ll kill you first and then I’ll bring you back and kill you again. Understood?”
“Yes “

I really hate Fury. I don’t like Y/N she just intrigues me. How can someone who is shy and I guess you would say mute, me a deadly badass assassin? She’s to sweet and innocent and pure for this world.

Reader’s View:

When they turned towards me they grabbed me and we started to dance together. It was sometime later when they started to giggle like they were teenagers. I shrugged my shoulders and tilted my head to the side. They turned me around and pointed towards the guys at the bar. Bucky was watching us. Well me, more less. I smiled and turned back around. The girls were still laughing and I just shook my head at them. It was after midnight and the party was now down to the avengers, fury, hill and a few S.H.I.E.L.D agents including Barnes. Now the only people dancing were the women. The men were sitting at the couches talking. Everyone was having fun and were relaxed for once. That was until one of the windows shattered and men dress in all black came in and started shooting. Everyone ducked and I lifted my dress to retrieve my guns. Me Natasha and Maria were behind a table and by the looks of it only me and Natasha had weapons on us. We shot until we had no more bullets and then we went to throwing our fists. We kicked the table we were behind and sneaked out from the sides. We were a well oiled machine and we managed to take them down. Lucky us we had at least 30 people we would get to interrogate. They were all taken down to the holding cells and we all left to change out of our formal clothes into out uniforms. The avengers fury and hill with Bucky standing in the corner were in the debriefing room. It was decided that me and Natasha would be the interrogators. We were trying to decide how many we would take.

“l’ll take 20 you take ten.”

I shook my head no and held up my fingers saying fifteen.

"Really? Fifteen? Can you do that?”

I shook my head yes and then I pointed towards Bucky.

“You want Barnes to do it with you?”

I shook my head yes and took a price paper and wrote down in Russian that he should know how I work since she does. Most people wonder how I could interrogate someone when I can’t talk. Natasha is the only one to know how I do it with the exception of fury and maybe hill. Everyone looked towards Barnes who looked back at me.

“Well Barnes? You willing to go with Y/N and see what she does?”
”Uhm, yes sure?”
“That doesn’t sound like your sure.”

I got up and walked in front of Barnes. I had to look up at Barnes since I came up to his chin. I pointed towards the door and he looked that way. He looked back at me and I pushed his shoulder and made him turn to the door. I pushed him towards the door and he started to walk. Everyone else was laughing and we could still hear them laughing when we were down the hall. He turned towards me and gave me a funny look. I signed to him asking if he understood. He shook his head yes. I smiled and told him it was time to have some fun. He shook his head but smiled nonetheless. He followed me down to the holding cells and we got to work. Time to have some fun. 

Tagging Below Cut

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anonymous asked:

BTS reaction if their s/o gets worried bc she thinks his ex -gf Is better then her?

Kim Seokjin/Jin:

JIn would look at you with a concerned face before saying “You are my love therefore you are perfect in any way possible. We are such a good looking couple, everyone is jealous of us” He knew that sometimes you struggled with your self esteem. His hand gently caressed your cheek as he looked at you and smiled. He brushed the hair out of your face and kissed your temple gently.

“Love may come and go, but I know that our love is stronger than anything. The past may hurt and so on, but you are the ONE I was meant to share my life with, so please understand that you meant the world to me. Even when you burn the food or stumble because of your own feet, you are absolutely perfect and I wouldn’t change a thing about you” he hugged you tight. You could hear his heartbeat, he loved you from all his heart.

Kim Namjoon/Rapmonster:

It was raining and both of you had some time off work, you were happy to be with him as this was the perfect time to snuggle. Even though you should feel pure delight when you saw his smile, you just fell to the ground and your tears started rolling down your cheeks. He hurried over to you and asked with concer “y/n what is wrong?” he dried your tears away with his thumbs “Do you ever think about them” he looked confused “them?” you snuffled “your ex, the one who could do anything and more.

Do you ever miss them?” he scuffled and placed you in his arms “listen to me babe, love has a funny way of doing things. Sometimes it plays tricks on you only to break you down, and other times it makes your heart fly way into the sky knowing that you have finally found the ONE. You are the best, you are my champion so to say. Never doubt that”.

Min Yoongi/Suga:

“Hey babe would you come listen to this” you sat down next to him and put on the headset. Music was flowing through your ears, his words in a rap made to cause emotion, the only problem that you were already bubbling and brewing with tons of emotions. When he took a bathroom break he left this phone and when it *pling* you saw a text, a text you wish you never read. For now it was stuck in your head those four little words “I still love you”.

It was his ex, did he still think about them, your face became sadder by each thought passing by. He took of your headset “you saw the text didn’t you?” you nodded “y/n you cant be serious, I don’t feel the same way. They broke my heart and I thought for a split second that the world was going to end and the most amazing thing happend, I met you. Don’t worry, okay? You are the one mattes now and you are more perfect than anyone could ever ask for”.

Jung Hoseok/J-hope:

Hoseok loved to teach you dancing in the studio, you always adored his passion for teaching and dancing. You were both laughing and having a great time when you suddenly got the though that his passion could be inspired from somebody else. You were certainly not his first dance student, images of him with them dancing tight and sweaty made you feel jealous and empty, you felt a sudden sadness and your cheek became wet from the tears dripping on them.

“y/n whats wrong? You were dancing great, don’t mind that one part. I know it a little tricky but you did well” you stared at your feet, biting your lips “no, I just thought maybe it would be more fun dancing with someone better than me like maybe your ex” his face changed like a sudden ray of sunshine had just gone out the window “y/n look at me” you looked at him fearing the worst “I love you, do you realize that. Some people fall in love multiple times but it takes someone special to steal it. And you did just that, you stole it and I want you to keep it forever, you are amazing and I would never ever want to see you like this again. Being you was what made me love you”.

Park Jimin/Jimin:

You knew that when a heart is being broken it is difficult to fix, you wished you never knew of his ex. You had met them before and they were everything you weren’t or at least thought you weren’t, turns out this had been bugging you quit a bit. You didn’t understand why he loved you, the question lingered in your brain and you got the courage to tell him how you felt “I feel like a zero compared to them, all the achieved and so on” he stared at the ground “y/n” he said, he reached out for your hand and stroke them with his thumbs.

“you must never believe that you are a zero, you must never believe that you are not worth anything and you must never believe that you don’t deserve what you have. I didn’t choose you, you chose me, you wanted me and have stayed by my side even in the darkest of times, they didn’t. But believe in me when I say that no one can compare to you and how much I love you”.

Kim Taehyung/V :

“Youre not gonna win this time!” you yelled as you pushed the buttons with all your might, he tried to distract you by taking his arm and cover your sight, you would push them away and they on the screen it said “GAME OVER” you sighed “oh man, I totally had that if it weren’t for you” he laughed. The high score  came up and you noticed a name, you felt a hole in your stomach like someone had ripped out all your intestines, you wanted to puke.

The mood in the room changed “you two played this a lot together didnt you” he could see that it made you uncomfortable and turned of the tv, he sat down in front of you trying now to get your attention “We did, but that was only because I like this games. I play this with the other guys too, and well they too”. He held your hands and played with your fingers “ No one ever really tells you when you have found the one, that is something you know by heart. People have some much space in their hearts that they share their love with so many but there is only one who can really find the secret path all the way to ones heart. So please don’t worry and just be with me and let us be happy”.

Jeon Jeong Guk/Jungkook:

Jungkook really never talked about his ex, he had forgotten all about them it seemed. For some reason you very anxious over this, you would always feel like you were in a competition and were racing to win his heart and be his forever and always. You hated this feeling and wanted it to go away, so you decided it was time to ask him “Jungkook” he smiled “what is it y/n?” you shivered a little “Do you love me?” both stood frozen for a couple of second before he rushed to you and looked you deeply in your eyes.

“never ask such a question”. You were shocked at his sudden action and you body seemed to be stuck “I have always loved you, what kind of question is that. I love you and thats all you need to know. The ones who came before means nothing to me now, all that matters is you and me, here and now, forever and always together”.

We Weren’t Born To Follow

Written for @d-s-winchester‘s 4K Bon Jovi Challenge.  My song was “We Weren’t Born to Follow” as it has a very Winchester feel to it. Lyrics will be in italics. No pairing. 

Word Count 1047

Warnings: Winchesters (’nough said), Contains S12 spoilers from the finale


This one goes out to the man who mines for miracles

This one goes out to the ones in need

This one goes out to the sinner and the cynical

This ain’t about no apology

This road was paved by the hopeless and the hungry

This road was paved by the winds of change

Walking beside the guilty and the innocent

How will you raise your hand when they call your name?

 This was how Sam and Dean Winchester were raised by their father into the life of a Hunter. The Life. The Family Business; Saving People, Hunting Things. It was their motto since that fateful November night.

 There would always be someone in need, sometimes whole families. In the eyes of the law, yeah, they were sinners and thieves; they stole, they took what they needed, but they saved people along the way. People ‘the law’ couldn’t save, wouldn’t even know where to begin. They would still be the guilty, but there will always be innocents to save, no matter where they went or how many miles they traveled.

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Danger is my middle name - a Stiles x Reader imagine

Wow who is the worst, disappears forever, comes back to post something that literally no one asked for? Me. 

Sorry for being gone for so long, I’m not going to promise that I will be back for good or anything because we all know how that works out. But I do promise that I am working on a lot of different stories. and I am so happy to finally be getting back into the mood of writing. 

Originally posted by imagines-of-a-fangirl

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death note! au | donghyun

OKAYYYYYY YOU CAN ROAST ME OR WHATVER BUT,,,,,, I ACTUALLY FUCKING LIKED THE MOVIE

THE MOVIE WAS FINE TO ME, A PERSON WHO HAS WATCHED THE ANIME

IDK WHY PEOPLE HATE IT OTHER THAN THE WHITEWASHING PORTION THAT PART KIND OF SUCKED BUT OTHER THAN THAT IT WAS A GOOD MOVIE THE HECK MAN

also this will be a bit all over the place im high on some fucking medicine #thathighlife

  • donghyun was always kind of an outcast in school
  • no matter what he did or what he said
  • he was always the weird kid that looked like he was going to shoot up the school at any second
  • obviously… he had no friends and spent most of his time alone in his room doing other peoples homework
  • one eventful day he was just casually sitting outside looking at all of the cheerleaders practicing ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
  • and all of a sudden thE LITERAL FUCKING HEAVENS JUST OPEN UP
  • THE WIND WAS SO STRONg A BOOK LANDED BY HIS FOOT
  • LOOKEY THERE M8
  • he picked it up and shoved it into his backpack and he was going to return it to the owner once he found out who it was
  • the rain starts pelting down on him at a rapid pace so he decideds to peace the fuck out and go inside
  • he doesnt want to get sick
  • (lIKE ME FUCK I HATE BEING SICK)
  • he was about to pass by the gym doors but a body flies through them
  • ong seongwoo was being a fucKING BULLY AGAIN GOSH DARN IT SEONGWOO WHY CANT YOU JUS BE NICE
  • he was about to speak up™ but suddenly you were pushing seongwoo off of the poor kid
  • “jesus christ, seongwoo! why cant you be nice????” seongwoo scoffs at you because his frail masculinity was insulted
  • so he pushes you down making you plop on the ground
  • o no :(
  • donghyun was shooketh™™™™ bUT HE WASNT GOING TO STAND FOR THAT
  • “hey! dont push them!” donghyun puts on his bravest big boy pants and finally stands up
  • but seongwoo just scoffs
  • :(
  • “why is a school shooter fcking talking to me?” he goes to punch donghyun but donghyun blocks it bc he is secretly a ninja turtle
  • IM JUST KIDDING ADSJFKAH
  • he does block it tho
  • “you know, arent you like 22 years old?” donghyun hears you laugh from behind him
  • achivement unlocked: a girl laughed with him not @ him for once in his life
  • good job donghyun
  • heck yeAH
  • “if you punch me that could technacially be called CHILD ABUSE SO DONT FRICKIN HIT ME-”
  • he got hit
  • he blacked out bOI
  • the next moment he remembers is him in the principals office with an ice pack on his eyes
  • “dONGHYUN?! You have like 20 different papers here that is for other people???? this is cheating. detention son”
  • “but-”
  • “nOP DETENTION!” 
  • he got detention the hECK
  • at detention he was going to go to sleep but the teacher was like “wake the frick up mAN”
  • so he had to stay awake
  • the teacher left for some reason???? idk prob to get coffee or something she looked stressed
  • so donghyun was like, “well i dont have to do youngmin calculus homework anymore,,,, what should i do?????”
  • oH YES that book someone dropped
  • he digs in his backpack and pulls it out
  • “death note”
  • radical my brother
  • he opens it anD THE HEAVENS OPENED UP PT.2 
  • “what the heck?” the wind starts whipping his beautiful hair and he is shook™
  • but oh well he continues to read
  • “rule number 1: anyones name written in this book will die… but you have to have the face of the person in your mind”
  • he could end it all right now
  • ….. *writes down donald trump* 
  • SAFHSDFJKH
  • no but he is like “????” ok weird
  • AND THEN HE HEARS A LOUD
  • “whATS WEIRD SON”
  • he literally fucking screams when he sees ryuk behind him
  • i think anyone would

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My Recovery ∆  one   ∆

Originally posted by tapemachinesarerolling

(I don’t own the gif)

My Recovery

∆∆

   The beating sun was torturous, just drowning the electrolytes and water out of everyone’s system the instant they walked outside the cool air conditioning. Let’s also not forget the awesome humidity that follows around this time of the year in this god forgiving state. 41% of humidity. Yeah no.

   Last Monday Night Raw before the first ever Paper per view Great Balls of Fire on Sunday. Today also was the young woman’s first day back to work in over a month. Her sparkling blue green eyes scanned over the Talking Stick Resort Arena, downtown Phoenix.

   Monday night raw and Tuesday night Smackdown were here in Phoenix, Arizona. It’d give the woman a couple of hours to let loose in town, and she couldn’t wait. With a deep breath, her anxiety settled in realizing all eyes would be on her.

   ‘Gotta go in sooner or later.’ She told herself before she extended her suitcase holding it in her right hand as her left stroke her wheelchair wheel and pushed it forward to the back of the resort arena gain access backstage.

   On her way there, her hands and arms grew tired, indicting how much she wasn’t use to being in a wheel chair and how weak her upper body strength was. It was very frustrating for her, she wasn’t use to any of it, and was just learning as she went.

   “Ma'am, ID please.“ The two security guards were posted at the back door of the stadium where the talent and WWE staff would enter through.

  Pulling the backpack that was squished between her back and her seat, pulling out her employee ID from her wallet getting the okay as they opened the door for her, and quietly tell her to have a goodnight. Sliding her ID back in her wallet, she entered backstage wondering who’d she run into.

   “Is that Miss Carter I’m seeing?!” She could recongize that voice from anywhere. WWE Veteran wrestler R-Truth (real name Ronnie Killings), who had this excited smile on his face seeing it was indeed one of favorite people I’m the company “It is you Miss Carter! My god girl! Look at you! I’m digging this.“

   He moved his hand up and down refering to her wheelchair making her smile tug at the corner of her lips. R-Truth was the best making even the most sad and negative things, and bringing the positive out of it. Isabella knew her accident could have been worse, so why making it all depressing and a sob story?

   “I do too. At least I can bump into people with my wheelchair and pull the innocent card.”

   The male wrestler burst out in laughter relieved she could joke a bit with everything right now.

   “See! A blessin’!“ Um, she guessed. “Where you headin’? Creative meeting?”

   Giving him a nod, he said “I’ll take you there,” Hooking her suitcase on her handles behind her seat, he gently pushed her as he was heading to the direction of catering. “I’m meeting up with Gold and the Hardy Boyz in catering. Just admire the dessert, torture ourselves.“

   A small smile was on her lips as they appeared in front of the door with a piece of paper that posted CREATIVE TEAM, indicting the two needed to say goodbye, for now. “Well, tell them I said hello, and thank you for accompanying me.”

  “Don’t thank me! See you later girl!”

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Millard falling in love with a normal

(Author’s Note: request by @cra-zy-mi-nd //sorry i didnt really exactly follow what you wanted cause it was pretty hard but i tried, love//enjoy tho!//)

Your POV

I wonder how my heart took how broken it already is.

I head to the beach. My grandfather had always been so much like me. I put up the bookstore he had always loved to have. I pet every animal I passed by, unless driving. Now, I go to the beach alone.

He always did this because he was thinking. And I think my heart needed a break after he passed away, just to let go from all the strength I’ve been trying to have, and maybe just sit down… and think.

⚫ ⚫ ⚫

The sand kissed my feet as I crouched down my mat. The mat was thin enough for me to feel the slight scratching of nature; as if it needs attention. I lay down, bathing in the calming sun’s light as land breeze approached.

I loved places like this. They seemed to connect me with my grandfather and somehow make me forget about whatever worries I have. They’re not something new, not extraordinary… but they are something altogether.

The shore was beginning to empty as families and couples or maybe people who just wanted to think left and I remained, to talk with my grandfather. I couldn’t help but allow my heart to fall apart all over again.

“Grandpa… I-… know you’re listening.”, I muttered to myself. I almost sounded crazy. But crazy was worth way less than what he meant to me. “I miss you so much.”, I say, my voice wavering a little as I squeezed a tiny tear out of my eye.

The wind blew as if he really was there. I wrapped the mat around me.

“The world seems just so lonelier
Without you in it… and I’ll never, ever forget
How you taught me to
To
Laugh at the people who
Laughed at me
And made me feel…
So invisible.”, I weeped, my knees and forehead meeting. The wind’s moans chorused with my whimpers.

I felt a presence behind me, instantly assuming it was him, but of course it wasn’t. I turned around to see a very, very white boy, a powdered boy in a hoodie over a shirt and tight jeans he never seemed to have worn before.

Instead of asking who he was, or what he was doing here, I asked, “Why are you powdered?”. He crouched beside me and threw a flat rock through the calming waters as it skidded to a sink.

“So people could see me.”, he said. “Oh… I feel invisible, too, sometimes.”, I shrug, looking at him. The powder on his face was so thin, it revealed a rare face, something that wasn’t of this generation. He had long lashes and messy hair, his eyes were light brown and he had little freckles strewn around his cheeks and across his nose. He sighs after looking back at me.

“Is that why you’re here?”, he asks. I sigh. “Yes. That’s right. How’d you know?”, I ask, throwing a flat rock as well and watching it skip. I wondered how many rocks it would take or how strong I should throw for it to skip as far as the horizon. “I go to places alone to forget that nobody sees me.”, he smiles to himself, blinking away a little powder that fell from his eyelashes. He looked so innocent, so fragile, I couldn’t believe someone would break him.

“You don’t have to powder yourself, though, I can see you enough.”, I say. He looks at me, smiles, looks to the ground and his smile fades away. He had a gentle smile. One that reminded me of my grandfather. “But you don’t know what you’ll see once I wipe this powder away.”, he says and it’s just now I noticed his accent. He was broken. I felt pity.

“See?”, he says, lending me his hands for me to wipe. I hold them, rough. I squeeze them and his breath hitches, like he’s not used to any of these. I wipe a stripe away. Nothing. I blinked twice. Nothing. I wiped more. Nothing. I could see through him. I felt woozy until I saw his face again. “Y-you’re literally invisible, I… h-how?”, I stuttered, clutching his invisible hand. He looked away, ruffled his frost-white hair and peeled something off his eyes. They were contacts. “My friends tried their best to make me feel normal.”, he mutters, burying the contacts under the sand. “I just can’t ever be.”, he continues, exhaling heavily. I saddened. But that didn’t mean I felt this was anything less new.

“You don’t have to change to feel like you belong.”, I say, realizing I didn’t know his name yet. I wipe away powder off his face until I couldn’t see anything. I brushed the powder off his neck and hair and other hand until there was nothing. But it calmed me down. That I saw him as he is. “I’ll make you feel normal enough, I guess. It’s something someone special had let me learn. I’ll do it to you.”, I nod, looking at wherever his eyes may be. I wondered if they really were light brown. But I felt them look back at me intently, like he was mesmerizing the view of me. “Thank you.”, was all he uttered.

⚫ ⚫ ⚫

Days after, we met again and he finally told me his name as I told him mine. He was Millard and he stops by my bookstore at night to see me. I felt like he walked to me with a very slight grin and I was somehow excited to have seen him again.

I flipped the sign and turned down the lights so it was only Millard and I, sitting across each other from high chairs propped behind a marble counter. I settled my chin on my palm, listening to him as he talked so brilliantly about what being peculiar was, how peculiar his friends were, their motherly bird moms and monsters. He mentioned monsters only once and I didn’t bring it up. I could close my eyes and listen to his voice. It was so calming. Gentle.

“Y/N? Are you sleeping?”, he said softly and I laughed and shook my head no. “Oh, I reckoned you were. Closing your pretty eyes and all.”, he chuckled and I was already starting to grow an attachment to him. “Come closer, Mill.”, I say and he leaned in. I placed my hands and cupped his cheeks and felt his nose. Felt his brows and lashes. Felt his ears and hair. Felt his lips. I made our foreheads meet. I feel his breath meet my face. It calmed me down for some reason. I closed my eyes but still felt his open, looking at me.

“Wow, you’re really… really pretty.”, he says and I felt his fingers fiddling. I laugh a little. Millard was probably the only one after my grandfather who had made me feel human, who made me feel visible. I wish I made him feel the same.

I felt his hands this time, parting our foreheads. His breath hitched again like last time. I started sketching the little patterns and creases I felt from his hand to the paper I was scribbling on. My eyes transferred from the paper to my hand feeling his but I felt his eyes burning on me. Blood rushed to my face.

“Look.”, I say, pointing my sketch. “That’s your hand.”, I smiled and he chuckled, looking at the piece of paper. “I think this is right enough. Better even than I could do it.”, he laughs, pocketing the paper. This time, his fingers laced around mine and he slightly squeezed. We stayed silent, just knowing each others’ presence was good enough. I walked around the counter and sat on a chair next to him, so I could lean my head on his shoulder. He felt a little startled at first.

His arm snaked around me, combing and feeling my hair a little, traveling down, outlining my collarbones to my shoulders down my arm. He squeezed my arm and breathed then his hand rested around my waist. I felt his nose and lips meet the top of my head. He sniffed my hair and pecked me. I look at him, searching his eyes. I wanted to kiss him.

So I did and softly, passionately, just enough to take his breath away as much as he took away mine. It was love right away, true love that was pretty scarce.