well if no one else is gonna post it i will

you know what would have been great? if ron got sorted into slytherin.

imagine– we have this kid on the train, the first friend harry meets, with his corned beef sandwiches and smudged nose. ron is eleven years old and he wants gryffindor, because he’s a weasley and that’s what always happens. but it doesn’t happen.

what a way to redeem slytherin house– or, god, at least complicate it. because ron is petty. he is mean and sharp and ambitious and jealous– and he is loyal to the ends of the earth. he is all those things, and he is and always has been good.

potter becomes before weasley in the alphabet, so harry says not slytherin please and gets told might as well be gryffindor. percy and fred and george are all sitting there in red and gold, ruffling the already-ruffled hair of the boy who lived, smug, and then ron sits down and the hat spits out slytherin!

c'mon it’d be fun. just imagine–

  • the weasleys freaking out– but even that first christmas molly sends him a sweater in beautiful green and silver.

  • snape taking points from gryffindor when ron breaks rules or mouths off. “i’m in your house.” “hm, couldn’t tell which weasley it was…” /drifts away

  • sitting with harry in potions and in flying– whatever classes they happen to share. meeting up to study. scarfing down their breakfasts at separate tables so they can go hang out in the empty classrooms before the day starts. hermione reads while they play exploding snap.
    • the trio signing up for all the same electives third year. this friendship being something they earn and work for; not just the one that looked easiest. (not to bash canon ron&harry, the bros to end all bros, but by putting this very obvious obstacle between them– it makes it that much clearer to the reader that this is a love worth fighting for, because they’re fighting for it).
    • ron being jealous that harry and hermione get to share this house, this home, these hours, while he’s stuck with malfoy and parkinson and goyle– because that would eat him up some days, some months, this insecure kid who’s been the last at everything all his life. this kid who always leaves and always comes back.

  • ron, who constantly compares himself to his brothers– not as smart, not as popular, not as good. one more nail in that coffin, here, yeah? he’s not a prefect, not a quidditch star, not a troublemaker– and even when he becomes those things, someone else has always gotten there first
    • well, i guess he got to this house first at least

  • ron still snaps at snape in potions, after hermione’s been ignored three times, “you know, sir, i think hermione might know the answer.” he still pulls the bars off harry’s window with a stolen, flying car. he still shows harry around the burrow shyly, not knowing what a wonder a warm home is. he still stands up in the shrieking shack as best as he can with a broken leg and tells a mass murderer that if he wants harry he’ll have to go through him first. 
    • ron weasley is a lot of things, but one of them is absolutely a true friend.

  • in their second year:
    • when everyone calls harry the heir, they eye ron at his side and sniff.
    • when hermione lays petrified in the medical ward, ron sits at her side and reads her homework assignments aloud and thinks my house this was my house
    • when ron hugs ginny’s damp, shaking frame after the chamber, ron says sorry and sorry and are you okay and i’m so sorry and ginny calls him an idiot.

  • the trio spends more time in the library with hermione, since ron can’t come to gryffindor tower to study, and homework remains a thing that has to happen. fred and george constantly try to sneak him into the tower anyway. 
    • “c'mon, ronnykins, you belong here, you deserve it, no one’s gonna fuss, it’s your BIRTHRIGHT,” and ron fusses and rolls his eyes at them
    • and then in fourth year in one of those periods where he’s not talking to harry and harry’s not talking to him– he just snaps at the twins
      • because it’s not, alright?
      • not his birthright, not his house, and maybe no one would fuss if he snuck in, maybe no one would care, and that makes it worse not better, because then he’s just that weasley who should’ve been gryffindor
      • and isn’t
    • (and harry overhears this caterwauling, feels his heart fall to his toes, and goes and awkwardly asks ron if he wants to go a few laps on his firebolt). 
    • (because, god, harry-the-chosen-one, harry-in-the-cupboard-under-the-stairs, harry-who’ll-save-us-all– he knows what it’s like to have should have beens on your shoulders, and he knows what it’s like to not be wanted).

  • ron cheers for gryffindor during quidditch matches in those first few years, and sits with hagrid and hermione and neville. harry’s seeker, and fred and george are beaters, and ginny becomes chaser eventually, and honestly screw the slytherin team. they have each and every one of them said disparaging things about ron’s mother.
    • harry and hermione badger ron into trying out for keeper fourth year; he and harry have been practicing on the quidditch pitch because its a non-library-shaped place to hang out where both of them are allowed. ron makes the slytherin roster, and malfoy grudgingly provides ron a team broom after the captain chews him out for a bit.
      • “he may be a weasley, but he’s our keeper, don’t you want to win, draco”
    • but the sort of things they spit in the locker room, the words the players hiss or snigger, the slurs that come easy to their tongues– ron would like to say that he considered just walking out of the cesspit, but instead he snipes and sasses and shouts and sometimes tries to spell slugs at the worst of them. 
      • it doesn’t do much, that one irritated voice of protest– except that it does. and he’s got a new (hand-me-down) wand, after the gilderoy fiasco, so the slugs even come out the right end.
    • fred gives him a black eye with a bludger one time (though ron does manage to block the quaffle) and molly sends a howler to gryffindor table with the morning post. (“RON DID YOU TATTLE”) (“IT WAS CLEARLY PERCY, FRED, SIT DOWN”)
      • (the weasleys often have family conversations across the great hall, with hufflepuffs and ravenclaws covering their ears long-sufferingly between them)

  • in the lake, it’s still ron hanging there in the water, still and bloated. it’s still harry’s heart that stutters in his chest, for all it’s just a game, just a game, just a game, right?

  • ron listens hard and tries to talk himself out of fist fights, all that next year in the slytherin common room as they read aloud rita skeeter articles.

  • when hermione calls dumbledore’s army to its first session in that pub, there are green scarves in that crowd– ron and one of the beaters who ron’s gotten to help glare to rest of the slytherin quidditch team into submission.

  • ron beats draco to being prefect (i think i remember it was dumbledore and not mcgonagall who seemed to award prefect status– snape doesn ’t get a say).
    • percy is SO PROUD, as usual, but so are fred and george. “did you see the little malfoy git? green with shame, my god.”

  • when harry has the dream about sirius, ron isn’t there to wake. but when draco’s pulled out of bed to be a professional bully– er, i mean inquisitorial squad member– ron follows at a careful distance and curses draco from behind. 
    • they ride thestrals over london. harry finds the prophecy and ron thinks about the sorts of things that get decided at your birth.  
    • sirius black was a son of slytherin who had a lion living in his chest that he couldn’t hide away. 
    • ron was meant to be gryffindor, and through a haze of injury and fear he watches sirius die just out of harry’s reach.

  • just imagine: ron with his temper and his sharp words and his fierce loyalty. ron who looks into the mirror of erised and sees house cups and prefect badges and ambitions earned– he could belong in slytherin. there is nothing wrong with wanting things, and he wants them so bad.

  • there are so many reasons to fight a war, and so many ways. harry and his sacrifices, his loving resignation. hermione’s good right hook and bottomless bag of supplies. luna, brilliant and a bit batty. lee jordan’s radio and mcgonagall’s burning patience and brittle, certain bones.

  • just imagine: when the last battle comes, there is a slytherin on the field who is not snape.

  • when draco and his parents walk away, in that last battle, ron–
    • who slept in the same dormitory as the boy for six years
    • who heard draco’s nightmares and saw him paling and desperate all sixth year
    • who is as pureblooded as lucius’s spoiled whelp
    • who remembers grimacing at the thought of squibs
    • who has known magic all his life
    • who spotted draco penning letters home to his mother every sunday and hiding them when the other boys could see–
    • ron sees them going.
      • he sounds no alarms. he says no farewells.
      • he turns back to his friends, and his fight, and lets them be.

  • just imagine: when harry kneels on the train platform and his second son asks him “but what if i get sorted slytherin, dad?” harry can say, “the bravest man i ever knew was in slytherin house. whatever you are, wherever you go, we’re going to be so proud of you." 
    • and they can both gaze over to where ron is squawking beside his daughter’s trolley of luggage because crookshanks (who will live to be forty eight million years old) has latched onto his shins with a violent fondness.
The Seventh Wheel: A Case for Black Lion Lance

Alternatively titled: Lance Deserves The World Because He is My Son and I Love Him

Okay, so Shiro’s gone and someone’s gotta fill his big ass shoes. In the toss-up between him, Allura, and Keith, I’m going to be arguing in this post that Lance could be the guy to do it. And, fair warning, this is going to be ridiculously (like, ridiculously) long lmao so here’s the TL;DR right now: I think that a) Lance already shows the character traits of a good leader, and b) there’s a good chance of him becoming one, given his impending character arc. 

It also has a chance of not happening, of course, but who cares?? I already started writing this thing, so:

Alright, let’s begin at the beginning, because that’s always a good place to start.

Lance is first introduced to the audience as the classic loud, arrogant, goofy flirt. The perfect comic relief character. He rescues a guy because his “rival” was gonna do it first and he can’t have that, the first thing he does in the giant robot cat is fart, and he hits on a girl who just fell out of a pod in a magic castle. He’s there to make you laugh.

I can’t imagine anyone looking at a character like that and “You know what? This guy could be a leader.” Allura says it herself in episode 1. The black lion is supposed to be the decisive head of Voltron, a person who’s a natural born leader, who’s in control, and,

Basically, calm, collected, and respected. “A natural born leader.” So, definitely not Lance. Case closed.

But, not really. Because Lance actually is calm and collected. He’s just not respected. He has all the leadership traits– the problem is that he’s not treated as someone who could be a leader.

Keep reading

(for @yoituuri and @starryfeathers. I accidentally deleted this whole thing once so hopefully it doesn’t happen again/ it’s not rushed. I hope you enjoy you two, and anybody else who reads this!)

I made a post about my favorite boy Victor not too long ago, and I mentioned a shot in passing that I really loved, but because it wasn’t the focus of the post, I didn’t go into it. I would like to now. Here it is:

This is the first glimpse of Victor we get within canon. Well, beyond the opening sequence with Yuuri watching Victor skate as they grow up but I think we can all agree that was outside of canon and can be discarded here.

Anyway.

It’s a damn good first glimpse. As you’ve probably already noticed, Victor’s eyes are covered. Deliberately. Dude fuckin does a twirl and the camera is framed in such a way that we don’t get to see his eyes until he looks up for the cameras. That’s an interesting touch, for several reasons. 

First, when a character’s eyes are not visible, it implies something is hidden within them. A trait, motivation, true emotions, etc etc. 

Secondly, the fact that we can’t see Victor’s eyes until he turns to the cameras with that fake-ass media smile. In this scene, we’re being treated as the public. Victor is immediately hiding from us and the rest of the world. You know, something he does all the goddamn time.

Victor is scarily good at masking. For those who don’t know what I mean, masking is the act of hiding one’s true personality, desires, and/or emotions to conform to society. I mask due to past trauma. Victor masks to meet public expectation. 

You’ve probably guessed already that masking is incredibly unhealthy–it’s repression, after all. If it gets bad enough, you’ll stop knowing where masking ends and you begin. Sometimes it takes me months to figure out how I feel about something because I need to sort through so many layers of masking and anxiety and doubt. It’s really difficult sometimes. 

We see tons of lovely examples of Victor masking throughout the show. Here are a few off the top of my head: 

(^absolutely terrified vitya trying to be smooth)

(^living up to his press image)

(^so incredibly upset on so many levels but he doesn’t dare show it)

(^pissed enough that yuuri picks up on it. and then acts dishonestly w/ yuuri by trying to come off as pleasant)

(i love that yuuri is comfortable enough by this point to call victor out on his bs. if you’re gonna get mad, get mad) 

(you can actually see Victor’s hand shake if you watch the scene. boy is so pissed and he’s holding it in)

etc etc. 

Victor is actually incredibly reserved in all the emotions he shows, especially if it’s anger or sadness. For most of the series, he only lets himself go in front of Yuuri or alone. Victor hides from himself, he hides from Yuuri, and it helps no one in the end. 

The beach sequence, actually, is important to this idea too. As we know, Victor asks Yuuri what he wants them to be. 

And then he lists off all these options before essentially asking to go out with him, but in a way that says he’s too scared to do it outright.

Now, this is partially to gauge Yuuri’s feelings towards him, but it’s also highly revealing of Victor’s self-worth. He’s willing to put on any mask, any persona to be with Yuuri. Yuuri, of course, doesn’t want this at all. 

🚨 HEALTHY RELATIONSHIP ALERT!🚨

And looking at Victor’s reaction (guarded surprise)

This may be the first time Victor has been asked to just be himself. 

So if Victor was a world champion at 16

(boy is 15-16 in that article)

He must have been skating for a while beforehand. We can probably approximate by saying he started competitions around the time Yuri did, which I estimate to be about 12-13. However, Victor does say this 

And if we’re to believe him, 27-20=7, and therefore something happened at the age of 7 to force Victor into backing away from others and working himself to the bone. Uhm, wow. I don’t know how accurate it is to say that, but regardless, he’s been in the public eye for a long fuckin time. 

Victor has spent this long fuckin time building an image: elegance, confidence, charming yet untouchable. The perfect playboy, in a way. This is the person he presents to the public. I think he’s been masking like this for so long he forgot that this isn’t who he is–Victor has the ability to be all those things, but it’s not who he is. Victor is excitable, bubbly, caring, vulnerable, depressed, lonely, hardworking…Yuuri, by asking Victor to be himself, released a metaphorical floodgate on Victor’s emotions. He’s broken that carefully crafted persona. 

Victor is now publicly goofy and affectionate

(i love how he hides his face a little here…how cute and shy while showing off that he’s yuuri’s)

And can drop his composure comfortably 

(also vitya always wears gloves to competitions until they get the rings and then victor keeps the gloves off completely :v) 

I love that Victor’s relationship with Yuuri has allowed him to find himself again, and peel away those masks to live and breathe and love as he was always meant to. 

This one actually required a lil bit of guts to post because while this works for me, I’m just starting to branch out of the research phase of witchcraft and starting to do my own practice, but I’m still petrified of doing things “wrong.” That disclaimer aside, I’m gonna explain what I’ve been working on and experimenting with.

So I’ve been making spell jars with candles on top lately. The idea here is that the spell jar is harnessing the energy of its contents when the candle is burning. That’s my intention for it anyway, and it seems to be working quite well.

This particular one I made today for the purpose of cleansing residual energy after I’ve helped a spirit cross over. I’ve had some issues with spirits in my apartment lately so that’s the reason for this.

It contains:
💧Stream Water (for cleansing)
💧Swamp Water (for banishing)
🌱Juniper leaves + berries (for cleansing and protection against malignant forces)
🍃 Violet Leaves (protection against evil)

(Also I’m totally aware that the ingredients list in my grimoire includes sage. I just forgot to add the sage before I sealed it lol).

I tried it out and it works pretty well. After I helped this one spirit cross over, I left it burning where she was standing for a few minutes and the residual energy was lessened but not gone. I’d imagine I’d need to let it burn for longer.

Anyway this was a little insight into my current practice. Maybe it could serve as an idea for someone else, or maybe I’m about to get roasted. I don’t really know.

Either way, thanks for reading ☺️

My kid does 13K in damage to studio equip, we handle it like lunatics.

[Part 1]

Some background:

I’m an audio engineer and score arranger full time in my self-owned business. It’s how I provide for myself, my fiancée (also CF), and my mother. I record, mix, and master for bands, voice-overs for local commercials, and write music for people’s weddings, college films, indie games, etc.. It was my passion since I was a child and every day I ask myself why I get paid to do what I do.

You know, until today.

I had a woman schedule to come in because she wanted me to record her monologue for an acting class. I thought it was going to be easy enough. I set up a mic and a music stand in the sound booth and got my workstation prepped for tracking. She was supposed to show up at 3:30, so when 4:00 came around, I called her to ask her if she was still coming. It was my last contract for the day and I was wanting to get home to my fiancée, dogs, and dinner.

“Oh, sorry sweetie, I’m going to be there soon. I just had to get my son from ex-boyfriend.”

Uh oh.

4:12, she showed up with her child.

To preface, I’ve never really wanted kids, and don’t really hate them either. But I’ve been childfree of mind for a decade now in league of several bad child experiences in public.

Anyway, I sat her down at the conference table and tried to talk to her about the contract and billing, etc., and just couldn’t because of the six-years-old pile of ovary droppings next to her.

“Mommy it’s cold in here.” “Mommy, I’m bored.” “Mommy, that guy has girl hair.” “Mommy, I want to play on the phone.”

The incessant whining went on for the entirety of the discussion. She did nothing about it. I had an ache in my stomach that this might be a rough session.

I was right.

I showed her to the sound booth, positioned the mic at face level, told her the basics of mic use, and then she floored me with a question.

“Can my son stay in there with you while I do this?” I insisted that he wait in the conference room (across the hall from the control room) because the control room wasn’t a very kid-friendly place considering the 120K of equipment at arms reach.

“But he’s a little angel.”

I shouldn’t have taken her word for it. I SHOULD NOT have taken her word for it. This kid was ANYTHING but. I let him in, told him to sit in one of the office chairs and don’t touch anything. Needless to say, he touched. I queued the recording arm and signaled her to start. She got three lines into her take before I hear a deafening screech and crash.

That little shit machine had just knocked over a $4,000 Korg into a rack with $9,500 of equipment. Completely shattered the touchscreen on the Korg, busted the dials off of half of the effects, and totaled my distressor that I use for almost all the vocals I track.

All of this, by the way, was the room’s length apart from where I told the crotch goblin to stay.

The kid, because of the loud noise, started full-lung screaming. Not crying. Not yelling. Screaming.

The mother, with no hesitation, ran over to the control room and DEMANDED to know what I did to her child. She cussed at me and accused me of hurting her little snot monster. Threatened to sue and even swung at me. When I told her that her precious angel had just racked up at least twelve grand of damages, she said “good”, spit on me, then stormed out, slamming every door on the way. So I pulled the security camera footage and had filed a police report. Grand total: $13,504.25. I also mailed her the bill for her session for good measure.

Of six years in the studio, this is my only truly terrible experience. Fuck mombies. Fuck having children. Thanks for making my vasectomy decision that much easier on me.

[Part 2]

Keep reading

I’ve been toying with the idea for a long time that some of the things Yuuri says, especially in the first couple episodes, are not exactly the truth and should be looked into farther. Honestly, we knew Yuuri was unreliable the moment the show opened–he referred to himself as “dime-a-dozen,” when he is literally the only male skater certified by the JSF within canonverse. 

And he made it to the GPF, you know? He’s one of the top 6 skaters in the world, right off the bat! It took us a few episodes to understand Yuuri’s character to realize the context of these statements, but we figured out pretty early on that Yuuri is the embodiment of Unreliable Narrator™. Especially after ep10, jfc. 

Anyway, why I’m bringing this up is because Kubo seemed to confirm a little theory of mine I’ve had stewing for a while and I wanted to share it with you.

So. Episode 1. The commemorative photo scene. 

I wanna first establish that this scene took place before the banquet. During the series run, sometime just afterwards, and occasionally even now there’s debate over when that scene took place. It wouldn’t make sense to happen after the banquet because they’re not only still wearing the team jackets, but they’re also wearing passes

The outside sign has information about the competition 

and Victor is talking to Yuri about his routines

which he probably wouldn’t do if it was up to a day later. 

We know how the rest of the scene goes. Victor seems to not recognize Yuuri at all, mistakes him for a fan, asks if he wants a photo, and then Yuuri leaves, thoroughly humiliated. Or, at least, that’s Yuuri’s version of what happened. I think generally everything that was said got said, all the movements and series of events were the same, but the implications of the offer were different. 

I have multiple anxiety disorders. When I remember something that I felt was a misstep or caused embarrassment, I always remember it slightly off. A person’s tone is more mocking or condescending, my reaction is worse than it was. There’s a lot of shame when it comes to anxiety and your mind immediately assumes you’re viewed to be–and are–on a lower pedestal than everyone else. Yuuri, clearly, has severe anxiety, so I don’t think it’s much of a stretch to think that, since this is from his perspective, maybe reality is a bit different than what he is able to give us. 

Anyway, my thoughts had no basis, so I’ve kept them to myself, but then Kubo came out and said this:

and then the fanbase lit up in flames because Victor know Yuuri was a fan before the banquet. But this also implies one thing I got super excited about: Victor has seen him skate, before the commemorative photo scene. 

meaning that everyone’s preconception that Victor mistook Yuuri for a fan has been completely blown out of the water. 

So, why would Victor ask him about a photo then? 

I think it’s important to keep in mind that Victor likes to make people feel good about their abilities. He likes teaching others, and he likes motivating them too. He gets pleasure out of seeing people rise to their potential. 

Although he’s flighty and kind of an airhead, and tends to ignore what he doesn’t find interesting, I don’t think Victor would ignore the scorings or the competitors landing below 3rd place. Victor clearly knew that Yuuri fell to last place, hard. This is just speculation, but maybe Yuri mentioned to Victor the incident with Yuuri crying in the bathroom. Or, perhaps Victor had already seen the press about Yuuri: he’s notorious for losing his nerve during competitions and failing to meet his potential. When Yuuri goes down, he tends to crash and burn. 

(also honda’s words imply yuuri usually performs very well)

Victor likes making people happy and better versions of themselves. Now he’s faced with the competitor who fell to last place, staring at him a few feet away. A competitor who is known for his anxiety and tendency to shy away from others. A competitor who just so happens to be a fan. So, what is Victor to do to help Yuuri feel better, or even open up a bit?

Initiate conversation. Try to reel him in to interacting with an open, non-threatening question and a tried-and-true welcoming smile. 

“Commemorative Photo?”

Victor didn’t mistake Yuuri for a non-competing fan, he knew who Yuuri was and was just trying his best to make Yuuri feel better. Victor, as we’ve seen throughout the series, resorts to giving comfort through action rather than words first and foremost. Unfortunately for him, this is not what Yuuri needs. 

It backfired. But I think Victor had good intentions. They were strangers so it’s not like Victor could just walk up and start a motivating speech. He tried to invite Yuuri to talk to him, someone Yuuri looked up to, and maybe they could talk and Victor could brighten his day? 

Victor wasn’t very tactile, and Yuuri didn’t stand his ground and identify himself, so they got nowhere with that. 

I’m so glad Kubo said this. This face looks like a combination of surprise and disappointment, perhaps not only in Yuuri rejecting him but also in himself for not being able to help.

and this face 

looks more concerned and surprised that Yuuri showed rather than like “oh shit, he’s a competitor.”

Poor Yuuri. Poor Victor. They really need to communicate better. 

Energy Tethers 101

Updated (again): 04.28.17

*this post is fueled by angst*

Okay, no, seriously though, it really does make me sad that so many people seemed to have no idea what I was talking about when it comes to connecting things for energy transfer.


So, what even is an energy tether?

I personally use the term “energy tether” to describe this type of energy work, but they could be called anything - energy cords, energy feeds, etc. Basically, it’s a metaphysical connection to allow a direct and continuous flow of energy from a source into a target. And I say target, because it doesn’t need to be an inanimate object - it’s possible to do this with yourself too.

That sounds a little convoluted, Richtor; can you break it down a bit more?

Yes, I know, I’m fancy with my words. You’re creating an energetic line between two things, one thing to be used as a battery, to allow energy to constantly flow from the battery into the second thing, keeping it charged / powered forever.

Are you serious?

Yes.

Why don’t we do this for everything in magic?

Honestly, I don’t know. If you’ve got an understanding of energy work and visualization, it really isn’t even that hard to create one. It can even be done with representational magic if you really wanna go that far, but it’s not that complex when you get down to it. 

I’m assuming it’s just a case of, people don’t think about it like that, or, it wasn’t as widespread a thing as I thought it was.

Can’t we just do this with passive charging, like how we charge things in moonlight?

Yes, but objects only hold a limited amount of energy before they become full; once you’ve used up the energy, you need to recharge it again. Creating an energy tether allows a constant flow of energy, so as it is being used up by your intent or goal, it just refills itself.

To me, passive charging is no guarantee that the energy will stick or be absorbed by the object, and that is also why I prefer things that require focusing on the energy yourself (direct channeling), or this method.

What *can* you use energy tethers for, anyway?

Basically anything you want to keep charged for extended periods of time. Optimal for sigils, any sort of charms - hell, you can even connect thoughtforms / servitors this way. But, seriously, anything you want to keep constantly charged with minimal effort, this is a way to do it.

What can you use for “batteries” or power sources?

Anything that produces an almost endless amount of energy. The sun is the first and most obvious one I think of. You can use anything else that produces a lot of energy, though. If you live near a dam, or those electricity windmills, those would work. Power lines and electric generators are awesome, and a great way to incorporate different feels of energy (and tech magic) into your practice. Space, even; like, the entire damn thing. If it produces energy, it can be tethered.

What do you mean about different feels of energy?

This isn’t specific to tethers - all things that have and produce energy have different “feels” to them. The sun is more hot and energetic than the moon, which is cool and calming. Rose quartz is a bit more gentle than, say, jasper, which is hot and fire-y. Tiger’s eye is more solid and stable than clear quartz, which is fluid and mold-able to almost any intent. 

We all experience feels of energy differently, however; these are just how I “energetically feel” those things.

(You also don’t need to “feel” anything to still do energy work, but that’s like a  whole ‘nother post.)

Can you tether to something that doesn’t have unlimited energy?

Sure, yeah, but you’ll drain it, and then it won’t be fulfilling its purpose anymore.

So, you could use yourself as a power source?

You could, but it’s super draining and I wouldn’t recommend it. That object would constantly be taking your energy away from you, and it could have bad consequences, including physical ones - physical exhaustion is a side effect that can occur when you use too much of your energy, and I see it happen often to people who are not careful about their energy expenditure.

However.

You can create switches for your tethers. As in, you can cinch them, close them off, to stop the flow of energy. Like you can turn on a pipe to get water flowing, then shut it off just as easily - you could create a “modification” for a tether similar in that manner.

Can these energy lines be broken?

Yep, absolutely. You can do it yourself if you no longer want them, someone else could do it if they could sense them, or they can naturally fade over time if you don’t give them proper upkeep and care.

Wait, upkeep? What happened to endless energy?

Yes, upkeep. You’re creating something to funnel energy, with energy. Energy needs to constantly be molded and kept in shape, or else it tends to just drift away. It really isn’t that hard to upkeep, though.

How do you keep your energy tethers safe from other people? 

Just program that into them when you make them.

Any disadvantages to using an energy tether?

It depends on how you view the term disadvantage. 

I think the thing that energy tethers lack is that bit of personalization that we often talk about being important in witchcraft. For example, you can keep a thoughtform powered by the sun, but it won’t contain your energy, won’t be as personally tied to you as if you charged it with your own energies. That can lose a lot of impact, when you really think about it, especially considering the nature of thoughtforms and the like.

Not to mention, you can overwhelm yourself with energy if you use a tether to connect yourself to an external source that produces more than your body can handle. You know how you can be overwhelmed by external energies, just by walking around? Yeah, now imagine that pumping straight into your body without a natural exit channel. Not fun.

Are there any other applications for energy tethers?

Fuck yeah. Use them to draw energy out of a target, in the form of a curse - literally sap their energies away so they have none left for their daily lives.

You can even connect yourself and another person with energy tethers, if you want to be able to share energy more freely and with more ease. (This is basically what I did with @ashesforeverashes​, in a sense.) 

Some people don’t like their energies taken without consent, though, and certain witchy protections can even prevent these sorts of tethers from forming in the first place, so keep that in mind.

Okay, all this talk about tethers, are you gonna show us how to make them?

Only if you ask nicely.

Please?

Okay that’s better. 

It is essentially just a combination of energy work, intent, and visualization.

The first thing you need to do, is have an object you want charged.

Now, pick an energy source. You don’t need to be able to see it, but it can help.

Relax yourself, clear your mind if you can. Hold onto your object in your hands. 

If you can, look at your energy source; this is clearly not applicable with the sun, so close your eyes and have your face turned toward it. If you can’t see your energy source, picture it in your mind as clearly as you can. Try to get a feel for its energy as well as you can, too. 

Once you are confident with your source, imagine a cord connecting from it and to your object you want to keep charged. A nice visualization for this would be seeing the particles form together out of thin air to form your tether - literally materializing out of nothing and attaching to the source, creating a line that is slowly building down from the source and to your object. This can be done in whatever way you wish - just make it.

Take as long as you need to allow the cord to be build from your energy source to the target - it can take some time, depending on the distance and how experienced you are with energy work.

While you are creating it, focus on any attributes you want it to have - a thick cord that is hard to break, a shimmery appearance so no other magic users can see it, etc. Keep in mind the purpose of the cord, what you want it to do, how you want it to behave, and fuse that into it as it is being formed. If you wish to incorporate a switch, in order to turn on and off the flow of energy, now would be the time to do so - more visualization and intent, and declarations of “I can halt this flow of energy whenever I desire” should do the trick.

Once the cord is in place, you want to draw energy from your source and into the object, through the tether. Make it clear that energy only flows one way through this particular tether. Continue to draw from the energy source and down into the target, until you begin to feel the energy flowing through the tether naturally. Once energy is accumulating into the object on its own, you know the tether is complete.

For the upkeep; about once a week or so, focus on the tether and visualize it still being strong, without any gaps for energy to sift through. See a smooth, clean flow of energy from your energy source and into the target. If there are any obstructions, break them down and funnel them out.

What was this “representational magic” method you mentioned?

Oh yeah. 

As a boost, you can have a representation of your energy source physically attached to the object or target, if you can. So, for example, you could have a tiny model of the sun, connected to the physical vessel for a thoughtform, by a piece of string. This can help keep the energy tether strengthened in a “physical” aspect, especially if you bind the physical to the energetic. Not to mention, just looking at it, you are reaffirmed that the tether is there and the object is charged, and that can assist with the upkeep.

Are there any “modifications” for energy tethers?

Totally. You can change the “material” you make the tether out of. Think of how people can put spikes onto personal shields, or make them have reflective surfaces - it’s sort of like that, but moreso changing the tether itself into something besides a beam of light. It can be a black cord like the ones electronics use; it can be made out of natural rope or hemp; it can be just a metal pipe that the energy slides through. Try to think about how each “material” might impact the flow and/or feel of energy.

You can also have one tether break off and charge many items at once - you don’t need a separate tether for each thing. Just focus on your tether and how it can fork, and imagine another branch coming from it naturally. Or, if you’re adding a separate line after the original tether has been “installed,” imagine a separate line growing or being molded from the first and down to the new object.


And there you have it - my post on energy tethers. Obviously this isn’t complete or all encompassing. This is just my view on these energetic cords, what they are, and how they can be made and used. I wrote this off the seat of my pants, but I think I covered everything I intended to. (And it feels hardcore like the old windvexer posts to me, which I’m not bothered by lol.)

I hope this helps you guys, or inspires you, or whatever. If you have any more questions, I… guess I can open my ask box, as long as y’all behave. Good luck, and have fun!

“Prom was invented just to make girls starve so they can fit in a dress and compete over a stupid title.”

“Uh –” Derek blinks, eyes his sister dubiously, “I’m not a girl?”

Cora huffs. “Whatever.”

In the kitchen Laura bursts out laughing. “Don’t worry.” She yells. “Cora is just jealous she will have to wait five years to go to her own prom.”

“I’m not going!” Cora yells back. “Prom is stupid, I don’t even know why you’re going,” she tells Derek, “it’s not like you know how to have fun.”

Derek raises an eyebrow while Laura just laughs harder. “Oh my god.” Their older sister says. “I stay away for six months and Cora turns into a sassy queen.” She walks into the living room, pretends to wipe at her eyes. “I’m so proud.”

“You two are ridiculous.” Derek says, turning around. “And I’m just going because Erica promised to pay me. With ice cream.” Then he gives Cora a wicked smile. “That I’m not going to share with either of you.”

“You are the worst brother!” Cora yells as he begins to climb the stairs. “And I hope you fall on your ass while trying to dance!”

“Can’t hear you!” Derek’s cell begins to ring. “Too busy getting ready to prom!”

Laura lets out a high-pitched laughter. “I love you two so much.”

Derek shakes his head fondly, closes his bedroom door behind himself just as Cora tells Laura to shut up. “Hey.” He answers the phone, collapsing on his bed. “What’s up?”

“Yo,” Stiles answers, “whatcha doing?”

“Listening to my sisters fight.” He says, snorting when he hears his dad start complaining about all the yelling and ‘no, Cora, I’m not letting you go to prom, you’re thirteen!’. “I’m gonna have to check the trunk of my car tomorrow night.”

Stiles laughs. “She’s not that good.”

“If you keep teaching her, she will be.” Derek blurts out, curses himself mentally when he realizes it came out harsher than he intended.

It’s just – sometimes he can’t help it. He’s known Stiles since they were four, Cora wasn’t even born then, but one day she turned eleven and Stiles became her new favorite person. Stiles couldn’t find it funnier and took Cora as his little apprentice. He even taught her how to cheat on Mario Kart.

He’s never taught Derek that.

Derek rolls his eyes, thinks about his little sister still downstairs pouting and trying to convince their dad that she’s old enough to go out. He shouldn’t be jealous of her, but the thing is – he grew up with two sisters, he knows how to share toys and food, but he doesn’t know how to share Stiles.

Because Stiles is his.

Keep reading

Closet Softie

Or, How Bucky Barnes Nearly Ruined His Tough-Guy Rep

(On AO3)


The trail mix was gone. 

The nice, expensive trail mix, with twelve kinds of nuts and the big sunflower seeds and dried fruits, the kind Tony only rarely left sitting on the common floors for everyone to get at, was gone. 

Clint had been looking forward to that stuff all morning

All the way through a hellish morning “jog” with Steve, all through Nat handing him his ass on the training mats, all through firing the same batch of misweighted arrows over and over so Tony could take scans and fix the design, he’d been thinking, when this is done I get to go upstairs and hang out on the couch and watch Dog Cops and eat the good trail mix, guilt-free. 

And it was gone.

Clint was gonna shoot somebody.

Just as soon as he figured out who’d taken the trail mix.


kingofmemes posted:

yesterday i saw a sad duck in the park who kept getting picked on by the other ducks so today i brought some trail mix and we had a nice lunch together. also i think he might be the duck who pooped on sam last week. if so, he is officially my new best friend. 

Posted at 3:29 PM, 24379 notes

(Read More Below)


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Some Strings Attached

Ugh so there was a post going around that I’ve now long since misplaced but it was like “I just saw you go upstairs with someone else and I know we’re only fuck buddies but I’m gonna go punch them in the face” and I was HERE FOR IT. If somebody remembers the post, link me. In the meantime, have some Sterek getting together fluff.

“Just tell Derek you want to date him,” Scott says, as if it’s the simplest thing in the world.

Stiles bugs his eyes and flails his hands in wordless frustration, because the correct response to this patently ludicrous advice eludes him. He had come for sympathy, not pie-in-the-sky delusions. “Scott. Bro,” he finally gasps. “How could you even suggest that in good faith? No way! Bad plan!” He slashes his arms in a demonstrative X. “The only reason we’re even hooking up is that I made it super clear I was down to fuck, no strings attached! I’m not ruining a good thing by announcing to Derek Hale that I’m 85% in love with him.”

“Why?” Scott genuinely seems confused, the sweet summer child. After falling into a happy triad with Allison and Isaac after their first semester at UCLA, he doesn’t really understand the definition of “unrequited.”

Stiles turns his attention to a hanging thread on his t-shirt, sourly tugging it loose. “He’s out of my league. I mean, with the baseball, and the smarts, and the sarcasm, and those eyes…” he breaks off with a sigh. The last thing he needs to do is remind himself of how gone he is on Derek. “Just, he’s popular. Dictionary definition of too cool for school. And the three people he actually deigns to hang out with here are all just as cool and good looking as he is. Do I need to remind you I’m not? I’m a gawky, nerdy Sophomore. I’m lucky to even be his fuck-buddy.”

Scott makes a face, incredulous. “I dunno, he must like you well enough if he’s still sleeping with you after all this time. What’s it been, six months? And you guys hang out, too, you’re always telling me about how easy it is to chat with him after you bone. So it’s not just sex.”

Stiles grimaces. “Yeah, but it’s not…”


“… a real relationship,” Derek says into the phone, hearing full well the heavy dejection in his voice. So sue him; the admission is more than a little depressing. “He just wants to be fuck buddies.”

“How do you know?” Laura asks reasonably. “Maybe this Stiles person would be interested in dating you, too. No offence, but you’re not great at reading people. I mean, he’s interested in chilling with you even after you hook up, and clearly he enjoys the physical aspect. Did he actually ever say he wasn’t looking for more?”

Derek heaves a sigh, rolling his eyes even though she can’t see over the phone. “Yep. About two minutes after the first time we slept together he said, ‘no strings attached, obviously.’ So, you know, pretty safe bet that it’s no strings attached.”

“Oh,” Laura says. For once she doesn’t have a snappy comeback.

“Oh,” Derek agrees. Dejectedly.

She gives him a sympathetic little hum, and then asks, “and he’ll definitely be at the sorority barbecue?”

“Yeah.” Stiles and his broad shoulders and his long fingers are definitely going to be at the party.

“Maybe you shouldn’t go,” his sister says softly. “If you really like him, and he’s just looking to get laid…”

Derek groans. Not go, and give up a chance to hook up with Stiles? Smart, maybe, but not something he’s capable of doing.

The problem is, he’s liked Stiles forever. Or at least since he first saw him, laughing uproariously and running around with his friends with an actually broom between his legs, playing “Quidditch.” Derek would have been way too embarrassed to do something like that on the front lawn, but Stiles made it seem like the most effortlessly awesome thing a person could get up to.

No, compared to Stiles, Derek is practically a social recluse, an awkward jock with only about three people who he gets along with at all. Stiles definitely doesn’t want to get saddled with a boyfriend like him. He’s lucky they’re even hooking up after all this time.

“Derek, I mean it,” Laura says. “Look out for yourself for once.”

“I know, I know,” Derek grumbles. “But it’s not my fault he’s…”

Keep reading

Ok so what if a Langst spy au??? Just hear me out……
•Shiro is still missing, everyone is expecting Keith to take over until they find Shiro
• they hear about prince lotor, but don’t have any information about him, so Allura and the blade of mamora are planning on sending in an undercover operative to have intel on him.
•lance accidentally walks in on the meeting, and over hears them talking about it.
• lance volunteers to go, thinking that this could be his chance to be able to lift his weight and not feel so much as the 7th wheel.
• Allura is not amused, refusing to send Lance in, cause she does care for him on some level, not that he knows this
• but Lance makes some really good points that it’s not exactly a secret that Lance and Keith don’t get along, that if Lance were to make a big enough argument with Keith, that it could get the Galra to be interested in trying to recruit him
• Allura concedes, cause it’s the best plan that she’s heard through the entire meeting. But she only lets him go on one condition: once they find Shiro, Lance has to come back as soon as possible.
•they all agree that the team shouldn’t know about the plan until after Lance has successfully infiltrated the Galra.
• the plan works great. And Lance is successfully apart of the Galra. And lotor is especially interested in Lance, which is good for the mission, not for Lance though.
•ALOT of creepy one-sided flirting. Lance promises to himself to apologize to Allura for all of his incessant flirting.
•bad news, is the team takes it HARD. First the lost Shiro and now Lance!
• hunk is just begging whatever god are out there that this is just some sort of nightmare and that he’ll wake up from it at any moment. He still believes that Lance will come back to the team.
• Pidge is pretty upset, and thinks that if they got Shiro back, then maybe he can talk some sense into Lance and bring him back.
•Keith is LIVID. He can’t believe that Lance betrayed them, that he had said all those things about him, and just turn his back on the team. Keith believes that Lance has completely turned his back on them, that he isn’t coming back.
• Allura can’t figure out how to tell the team that Lance didn’t actually betray them.
• fast forward to a week or two after the ‘betrayal’ they face off against lotor again, and lance as well.
• somehow Lance and Keith are fighting on a catwalk, about 5-6 stories high. And Keith isn’t holding back. He goes on and on about how lance is a traitor, and how he didn’t deserve to be apart of Voltron
• it definitely hurts lance, but lance has pretty much figured out that Allura hasn’t been able to tell the team yet. But he can’t tell Keith, or else his cover is blown.
•Keith takes swing at lance with his bayard, and puts a huge gash in his face.
• Keith kicks lance into the railing, only for it and lance to fall. But lance is able to catch himself barely on the catwalk, but his hand is too slippery, cover in his blood.
•lance calls for Keith, to help him. Lance knows Keith would let him fall.
•Keith lets him fall.
•it’s either, Keith was in a sort of angry frenzy that he didn’t realize lance was calling for him until it was too late, or something else.
•either way, Keith is sure that Lance is dead, and leaves. Not able to look at the dead body.
•but lance isn’t dead. He’s close to it, but not there yet.
•Lotor finds him and has haggar save his life. Of course, lance doesn’t come out of it whole.
• he had to have his complete spine replaced with one of haggar’s prosthetics. He has a scar on his face from Keith, and his arm had to be replaced as well. But he’s alive.
• to say that Allura is relieved when she gets communication from Lance is an understatement. Especially after Keith told them all that Lance was dead.
• lance still sends information and warnings about certain attacks and plans that the Galra have for months.
• then finally the others find Shiro, and Allura is so glad because that means that not only is Shiro back, but that Lance will come back as well.
• Lance sneaks back on to the castle during a battle between Lotor and the team. (Carrying a flash drive with as much information about lotor and the Galra as it can hold)
• Allura calls a retreat and the other paladins go to the bridge once they have successfully wormholed out of there. You can definitely say that they are surprised to see her talking to some random guy who looks a lot like…oh my god it’s Lance!
•you can definitely say that there are some mixed emotions.
•hunk is so happy! He knew it! Lance was alive! He’s back! He’s going to be okay!
•pidge is kind of weary of it. She’s not sure what to think, he might be back, or it might be a trick.
• Shiro is just confused. the others didn’t tell him about Lance ‘betraying’ them, or that they thought he died. He’s just trying to figure out where Lance came from.
• Keith is drawing his bayard and putting himself in between lance and the others, ready to strike.
•of course NOW is when Allura finally tells them all that Lance was undercover and spying on the Galra. Of course their pissed that they didn’t tell them, mostly at Allura cause she was suppose to as soon as Lance was in.
• Keith now feels like he is the biggest screw up in the room, cause he sees the scar on lance’s face. He realizes that he left his friend to die, even if he was under he idea that he betrayed them. He sees how lance’s eyes go stone cold when he looks at him. He knows that he lost Lance’s trust.

recommended reading~

while you’re waiting for me to post or just looking for suggestions, i hope this helps! it took me ages to compile and i’ll update as i come across new pieces, so i hope that both readers and writers alike appreciate this’=) as a reader i know how satisfying it is to read quality fics, and as a writer i know how gratifying it is when someone acknowledges your work. i’ll be honest, it’s mostly smut and lots of fantasy!au because i am a mermaid princess, so of course i’m always thirsty; BUT it’s not all that this list is, i assure you there’s a nice mix of everything~

love always, 토끼 언니

my mobile master list.

last edited may 16 ′17 (top three are new)

*i edit this post constantly, so be sure to check it often for updates! i used to keep authors together, but now i just put the newest pieces at the top. i’m always looking for new material, so don’t hesitate to dm me some or drop me suggestions in my ask!

**if you have written or read any scenarios/fics of any genre for SF9, IKON, VARSITY, B.A.P, PENTAGON, VAV, or NCT please send them to me!! these groups need more love!!!


professor turned call boy (smut) || @aegyotrashcan

i can SO see taeyong as a strict prof omg, and this just in time for finals too ;)

lightweight two (smut) || @btssmutgalore

okay this was a lot angstier than i thought it was going to be but the storyline is good i enjoyed it. this one is for you jungkook noonas~

my teddy bear (smut) || @hyungjooki

points for creativity, wow this opened my eyes to a new world. didn’t exactly match changkyun but this deserved a spot on the list~

rhythm (smut) || @onlylovekpop

I AM SCREAMING SO MUCH CAN THIS BE MY LIFE PLEASE wow i’m not sure i’ve felt SO in tune with Y/N before lol. she actually felt like me this time. i’m always down for jooheon and you should be too.

nude two (smut) || @btssmutgalore

okay i’m not into sexting nor did i ever think i would be, but this scenario has changed my life!! accidentally sending taehyung a nude is actually the best thing ever, wow. I HIGHLY RECOMMEND THIS PIECE. it’s so well written, 10s all around. the dialogue is A+++++++

forbidden (smut) || @btssmutgalore

hoseok is one of your brother’s (taehyung) best friends and it’s hard to deny each other when you’re both around each other so often..

a secret || @stormae

MAE NEVER DISAPPOINTS!! college!nct and some sicheng yes please! technically there is slight smut but truthfully i think it’s the build up that makes it feel so intense so if you’re not in the mood for heavy stuff you should definitely read this.

control (smut) || @jungblue

i usually steer clear from dom!reader pieces because it’s not me at all BUT if i ever did venture out to try myself as a switch this is exactly how i think it would go down, realistically. i really really enjoyed this jimin one~

taste (smut) || @jungblue

poly!taegi help loosen you up while studying so ya know, so you can uh,, think better..:.

step-brother (smut) || @idolimagines

i actually read this one a long time ago but i lost it, but i found it!! so much angst and tension with soon-to-be stepbrother!jaebum oh my eff. it’s a mini series and markson have notable characters throughout! i cried a lot, i loved this so much.

arrangement (smut) || @the-goddesswrites

call boy!hyunwoo is already a yes please BUT this storyline makes it 10,000x better oh my gosh please read this. the appreciation i have for this piece is through the roof.

daddy devil one two (smut) || @dom-joonie

i am such a power sub and this gives me life!!! devil!namjoon ruler of all 7 levels of hell? how can you not be intrigued by this one. (i’m not super into “daddy” but i like the dynamics i just personally prefer another name haha)

the boy next door (smut) || @hansolmates

ROOMMATE!HANSOL!!! this one is so well written with such a good storyline and character development ah. jeonghan+jisoo have active parts in this as well. i cried too but what’s new lol.

misunderstandings (smut) || @hallyuwriters

if you’re new here, know now that i am SO into fantasy au. especially werewolf!! so here’s a mildly angst-ish vampire!you and werewolf!taehyung.

call boy (smut) || @caliboyjaeffrey

rylee and these nct call boy fics are gonna be the death of me. sicheng is such a sweetie, my gosh.

bonus round (smut) || @bxebxee

if i harbored feelings for hoseok this long i too would also give in at the stairwell *insert upside down smiley*

impatient (smut) || @bxebxee

royalty!au and prince taehyung, oh gosh. you’re betrothed to each other and he writes you private letters and ahh i am a mess already please read just read

wait for it (smut) || @workofteaguk

i am such a sucker for royalty!au and with  prince jungkook? hell yeah i’m going to love it. you’re also a princess, how can you not enjoy this one! there’s mild angst but hang tight because it all works out in the end!

call boy two (smut) || @caliboyjaeffrey

so this one was actually on the list AGES ago but sweetheart went and added a second part AND I LOVE IT EVERY BIT AS THE FIRST!! you need to read it!!1! but i do need to warn you that taeyong AND yuta are in this so you will have to wear your seatbelts okay bbies~

face riding (smut) || @17mounteens

there is so much more than just face riding lol but this minghao one shot is well written (as with everything else admin scooter writes – quality). i feel like minghao deserves more writers.. but yeah hehe

thin walls (smut) || @chokemewithjaehyunschoker

neighbor!jaehyun (i might have a thing for neighbor!jaehyun idk this is like the second one haha). this one was very different from the usuals, really really recommend~

jailbreak two || @jooheonster

criminal!jooheon. security guard!you (but you quit after the first, js). this two parter actually takes place like a year a part but that makes it even better? so much tension and feels my gosh.

on a dare (smut) || @badgirlfanfics

this wasn’t even supposed to be angst but i cried?? kihyun being an ass is amusing as always but this felt so real? ANYWAY the storyline is ridiculously good, the smut is amazing, and wah it’s just perfect in every way ok.

shotgun under the blood moon two (smut) || @2badseoulsad

okay i was so conflicted on whether or not to put my own writing but if you only ever read one thing by me LET THIS BE IT. smoker!taehyung but of all the other boys make notable appearances. it’s smut, but it’s funny too, and ah please just read this i promise you’ll enjoy it ok. probably the peak of my writing career.

say his name || @haeng-syo-peace

this fic is the reason i opened this blog to start writing again i kid you not. a must read. it has EVERYTHING in it, and copious amounts of angst and smut. jiho and namjoon!

sins and virtues (smut) || @blackpearl-scenarios

demon!namjoon, i’m kinda emo over this one.

passion (smut) || @deathbyyoongi

hobi angst-fluff-smut done proper!! realistic but dreamy, ah, i love it.

until we meet again || @alienpikachu

this ghost!taehyung piece will rip your heart out and piece it all together again and you’ll be crying and you’ll love it ok.

i don’t bite || @alienpikachu

eeeee vampire!yoongi and guess who delivers his packages..

tinder 2.0 (smut) || @tayegi

a fabulous concept with some angst and jungkook!!

adoration (smut) || @pleaseseokjin

werewolf!seokjin is your boyfriend but watch out for namjoon bc he’s in heat…

time of the month (smut) || @no-more-cream

werewolf!jimin yessss. also appearances by the other two rotten maknae.

why not? two (smut) || @monbebeaf

best friend!changkyun is so comforting and i need him in my life ahh.

territory (smut) || @imaginethisbts

dogboy!taehyung is such a cute concept ugh.

talk dirty to me (smut) || @idolized-scenarios

kiseok(simon d) and that low voice comE ON.

with love and money (smut) || @jaebumgotme

sugar daddy!yoongi realness. it’s got a good storyline, and yonni paints beautiful pictures in your head i’m tellin’ u~

blue bloods (smut) || @jaebumgotme

why do i love when jimin is abrasive but not? tbh pretty sad.

i’m not a kid, two (smut) || @drquinzelharleen

businessman!jungkook as your boss’ son with an actual storyline yay!!

scent, sweat, heat (smut) || @itsyvvngis

werewolf!jungkook dramaaaaa. chimchim makes an appearance too~

feelings || @tenpioca

this soulmate!donghyuck(haechan) is next level, really love the concept!

not to be || @tenpioca

ah soulmate!jaehyun for when things seem bleak but you just gotta make things happen.

soon, two, three ,four || @blubeeny

this novella should be published my gosh it’s flawless! romance, heartache, smut, fluff, it’s got everything. probably the truest piece to minhyuk as fiction can get~

from dust to dust || @jungkxook

warlock!jimin has my heart torn. there’s some smut in here but it’s light.

claimed (smut) || @ellieljade

tbh jimin is a real brat and gets jealous bc of how flirty hobi is around you but of course my heart is still fluttering after finishing this so..

elevator rides and expert tongues (smut) || @mystikimagines

a classic. oh yoongi…

roommates? two (smut) || @keurimnsuga

THIS ICONIC TWO PARTER WAS THE BEGINNING OF A BEAUTIFUL FRIENDSHIP. it holds a very dear place in my heart. also, who doesn’t want taehyung as a roommate.

princess (smut) || @daddyjooheon

jooheon is my ult so of course this is in here.

color you mine (smut) || @noir0neko

teacher!jimin oh be still my beating heart!

below zero (smut) || @noir0neko

in a world where you’re both rich but of course you’re still not enough (to everyone but taehyung). super angsty but i love hurting myself so

void, two, three || @ncttrashaf

if you like dying here’s a johnny trilogy. eloquently written though, bless~

just one day (smut) || @t-o-p-madam

I HAVE NEVER CRIED MORE AND LOVED IT SO MUCH. i’m not trying to shove this one down your throat but it’s perfect and you’re missing out. boyfriend!hyunwoo is so realistic and maybe that’s why it kills me.. (also, this deserves SO many more notes than it has?? wtf i don’t understand)

holier than thou || @stormae

tattoo artist!ten needs soo much more appreciation ahh a true work of art~

hellion (smut) || @stormae

demon!ten sounds hot (and it is wow) but tbh i cried at the ending.

salt and iron || @i-would-rather-be-queen

bodyguard!jooheon is something you didn’t know you wanted until now.

inbetween (smut) || @bangtanboysboo

i am literally mega heart eyes for every fantasy!au this fairy dumpling(i hope you take that as a compliment?) writes. nymph!taehyung on this piece, eek!

instinct (smut) || @bangtanboysboo

it’s mating season and both you and your mate werewolf!jungkook are going crazy. werewolf!jimin is your brother. i’ve read this one so many times you’d think i’d have it memorized by now but nope.

strangers (smut) || @the95liner

wealthy and sophisticated jimin yes please. also, you’re in art curator, go you! i thoroughly enjoyed this one.

the switch (smut) || @kookingtae

IF UR INTO SCI-FI AND STAN BTS THEN DIS 4 YOU B

the equation of love || @kookingtae 

professor!yoongi gosh this series has dragged my heart over the whole damn creation, i love death.

la douleur exquise (smut) || @kookingtae

okay i’m really not one for “the other woman” type scenarios but frick man, this one got me crying on my knees. taehyung angst ouch.

triplicity (smut) || @kainks

poly!yoonseok, honestly i’d probably make a deal out of something dumb like this too so #relatable.

just like honey (smut) || @taehyugme

a proper sugar daddy!seokjin

mine (smut) || @whoistaehyung

super intense alpha werewolf!namjoon. i really enjoyed the detail of character rank, it added to the story a lot. werewolf!jaebum is in here too but it’s not about him.

a sip from the grail (smut) || @asexpectedofthestork

being a donor to vampire!jungkook just got a little more exciting..:.

delicacy || @failaise

very unique vampire!jooheon, really beautifully written~

internet fiend || @thedreadedsweaterinyourcloset 

neighbor!jaehyun steals your wifi to watch porn, giving you viruses lol. v entertaining!

It’s finally finished! I wanted to make this comic for the snap election, but if the Tories win I feel like it’s gonna be relevant for the next few years. 

I messaged a few of the spoonie blogs I follow to see if they would be okay with me tagging them in this. I got responses from @spooniediaries and @heyatleastitsnotcancer but I didn’t want to tag anyone else who hadn’t given me their consent.

Caption/script under the cut - please reblog and share. (Note: the captioning is reaaaaally long - it might crash your phone if you’re on mobile).

Keep reading

Church Boys Moan Louder

THIS WAS A PROMPT BUT I FUCKED UP AND ACCIDENTALLY POSTED IT EARLY SO NOW ITS GONE FOREVER IM SORRY ANON BUT I STILL WANTED TO FINISH IT SO YE the prompt was basically innocent religious dan and phil like pines after him ; ending in sex in church bathroom and yes, you are going to hell

it’s also really long oops

~

Phil was fucking screwed. Never had he wanted someone so bad as he wanted Dan Howell. That boy fucked with his head and his body and his life. And he wasn’t even TRYING.

If he was trying, he was doing a damn good job at hiding it. Dan seemed completely oblivious to Phil’s attempts to win him over. The light blush on his cheeks said otherwise, but Dan ignored it completely. Dan was the goddamn priests son, but Phil liked a challenge. And this definitely was one.

Phil took another sip of the dumb nonalcoholic punch they were serving, scowling at the plastic cup. He shouldn’t be here, at this dumb church party, he didn’t have to be. It was optional, unlike the weekly services he was required to attend due to his parents getting pissed that he had defiled the school with graffiti yet again. It wasn’t that bad, he got to see Dan at least. But the only reason he was here was for him.

“Hey,” a girl spoke, interrupting Phil’s thoughts. He turned to look at her, scanning her blonde hair and plaid school uniform. Who wears a uniform to a party? Church kids, Phil figured.

“Uh, hey,” Phil responded, sounding completely uninterested, but she didn’t take a hint.

“Fun party, huh?”

Phil raised his eyebrows at her, chuckling, pulling a flask out of his leather jacket pocket and tipping the clear liquid into the cup.

“No, not particularly.”

She seemed a bit put off by that, but bounced back quickly.

“So, do you know anyone here?” She asked, her voice light and Phil swore he heard a hint of flirtiness in her tone

Phil chuckled, his eyes glinting.

“Look, sorry honey, but if you’re trying to get in my pants you might as well give up now. I like cock, dunno if your tiny brain can wrap itself around that, but the only reason I’m here is that I want to fuck Dan Howell.” He casually picked at a black nail, flashing her a tight lipped smile. “So, if you still want to bother me after that, feel free. But I’m gay as hell. Just saying.”

The girl stared at him, her eyes wide and her jaw practically hitting the ground. Phil chuckled. He loved doing that.

She let out a small squeak, whirling on her heel and rushing off. Phil shook his head.

Phil cursed under his breath as he watched her beeline straight to Dan and his group of friends at the other side of the room. Phil couldn’t hear what she was saying, but she pointed at him less than subtly. A blush appeared immediately on Dan’s face, a hand going to cover his mouth automatically. He said something, and glanced over at Phil. Phil winked, waving. Might as well commit.

Dan blushed harder, looking away immediately and pressing his hands to his clearly heated cheeks. Phil smirked. He loved how much of an affect this had on him. He was so responsive.

Phil would just have to wait until he was alone.


~


It was about half an hour of boredom and wanting to leave later when Dan’s friends started to leave one by one, and Phil watched them almost hungrily until the only one left was the girl who had talked to him.

Phil moved along the wall a little closer, straining to hear their conversation. He couldn’t hear her but he heard Dan say “Silvia, I’m fine, I’m just gonna help clean up. I can take care of myself.”

“Are you sure you’re okay with walking home alone?”

“Of course. It’s just a few blocks over.” He offered her a soft smile, touching her shoulder, and Phil’s heart swelled. Damn it. “It’ll be fine. I’ll see you at school, alright?”

“Alright…” she agreed hesitantly, going on her toes to give him a kiss on the cheek, rushing out of the room.

And then it was only them.

Dan cleared his throat, his cheeks beginning to redden again. “So, um, do you want to help clean up, or…”

Phil recognized the opportunity he was offering, and took it. “Yeah, sure. I’d say you’ll probably need a hand.”

Phil helped Dan fold chairs, watching him the whole time while Dan avoided his eyes.

“You look nice,” Dan commented, just being polite, but Phil snorted.

“Are you kidding? I’m wearing rags compared to you. Seriously, who wears a tie to a party in a church basement?”

Dan blushed even harder, glancing down at the black tie fastened neatly around his neck.

“Me, I guess,” he muttered, laughing awkwardly.

“Was that your girlfriend?” Phil blurted.

Dan looked at him then, eyes wide. “Who, Silvia?”

Phil nodded, and Dan laughed. Like, really laughed.

“No!” He exclaimed, shaking his head. “She’s my cousin!”

Now Phil laughed too, pushing his hair back until it sat in a quiff above his forehead.

“Oh Jesus,” he muttered. “Well, thank god.”

He expected Dan to just brush off his comment like he always did, change the subject, look away, something. He didn’t.

“Why’s that?” He asked softly, pressing his lips together and searching Phil’s face. “Why are you relieved?”

Phil shrugged, tossing a plastic cup at the trash and making it. “Because if you were with anyone else, I’d be upset.”

He glanced at Dan, smirking at the way his eyes had widened and his mouth had fallen open just slightly.

“W-Why?” Dan asked again, biting his lip and turning back to the plates he was stacking.

“Because I like you.” He shrugged, casual. “I wanna make you mine, and if people are interfering, that’s a problem, isn’t it baby boy?”

A small gasp escaped Dan’s mouth at the nickname, and Phil smirked.

“Silvia… Silvia said you…” he trailed off, chewing on his lip, his eyebrows furrowed. Phil took this opportunity to step closer.

“That I want to fuck you?” Phil asked, finishing the sentence, and Dan tensed up.

“Yeah…” he muttered, practically a whisper.

“Well, it’s not a lie.” Phil glanced at him, searching his face before turning back to the chair he was folding up. “I’ve been hitting on you for the last month, you didn’t notice?”

Dan shook his head, avoiding his gaze, and they were quiet for a moment.

“You ever kissed a boy?”

“What?!” Dan spluttered, his cheeks redder than Phil had thought possible. “N-No, of course not, I… I couldn’t.”

Phil turned to look at him, frowning, turning his whole body this time so he was facing him.

“Why not?”

Dan faced him too, at a loss for words, his mouth opening and closing.

“I mean, I s-suppose I could but… I CAN’T. That… that’s…” he trailed off, and Phil stepped forward so he was only inches away. Dan froze, but didn’t move away.

He trailed a finger up Dan’s jaw slowly and Dan swallowed, shivering, watching its progress. “You never know if you like something until you try it, right?”

“Well I suppose, but…” Dan gasped as Phil grabbed his tie, wrapping it around his hand and pulling Dan closer.

“But?”

“But…” Dan looked like his mind was going fuzzy, glancing down at the tie that Phil was holding him by and back up at Phil’s eyes, and then his lips. “I’m not gay,” he practically squeaked, his voice small.

“You never know if you like something unless you try it,” Phil repeated, slowly touching Dan’s waist with the hand that wasn’t gripping his tie. Dan didn’t move an inch as Phil leaned over, pressing his lips against Dan’s.

Phil waited a second to make sure Dan wasn’t going to pull away before reaching up to touch Dan’s chin, really kissing him. He dragged his tongue along Dan’s bottom lip, asking for entrance, rather surprised when he actually opened his mouth.

He could feel Dan’s hands shaking as they moved up Phil’s chest, sliding over his shoulders and wrapping around his neck. Phil gripped his waist, pulling him as close as possible. With one hand he tangled his fingers in Dan’s hair, kissing him deeper. He tasted like awful punch and fruit gum, and Phil was sure he tasted like cigarettes, but Dan didn’t seem to mind.

Phil backed him against the wall, kissing him hotly and letting his hands roam Dan’s body. He moved his mouth to Dan’s jaw, kissing down to his neck and nipping at the pale skin. Dan whimpered, moaning softly and tangling his fingers in Phil’s hair.

“Ah-” Dan gasped, letting his head fall back against the wall. “Phil…”

Phil pulled back, pressing his forehead against Dan’s and breathing heavily.

“Is there somewhere we could go?” Phil breathed, and he promised himself if Dan said no, or didn’t get the hint, he would give up. Dan’s brown eyes blinked at him.

“Just one…”

They ended up in the boy’s bathroom, Phil roughly shoving him against the wall and kissing him possessively. Dan whined into the kiss, wrapping his arms around Phil’s neck and clinging to him desperately.

Phil grabbed Dan’s thigh, hooking his leg around his waist and Dan took the hint, hopping up and wrapping his legs around Phil’s waist. Phil went back to his neck, trailing sloppy kisses down to his collarbone.

He unbuttoned Dan’s shirt, loosening and removing his tie before kissing him again. He let Dan push off his leather jacket and tug his shirt over his head, tossing it aside.

Phil’s hands explored Dan’s chest, pinching one of his nipples, and Dan gasped.

“Phil…” he moaned, an indirect beg for more. Phil palmed at his bulge, feeling Dan grind against his hand desperately.

Phil picked him up, spinning them around and setting him down on the counter, tugging at the button of Dan’s black jeans. Once he got them off he flipped Dan over after pressing a kiss to his jaw, bending him over the counter.

“I’m guessing you’ve never done this with a guy before,” Phil muttered, smoothing his hand over the curve of Dan’s ass and squeezing roughly. Dan jumped.

“N-No…”

Phil kissed the nape of his neck, pressing himself against Dan’s body. “Are you sure you want to?”

Dan let out an almost desperate gasp, his voice breaking. “Yes, yesyesyes, god just please… p-please fuck me, Phil, want you.”

Phil grunted, slapping Dan’s thigh sharply. “Jesus, you have no idea how long I’ve waited to hear you say that.”

Phil took no time removing his jeans, tugging down Dan’s boxers as well, grinding his still clothed bulge against Dan’s ass. Dan moaned, reaching back and grabbing Phil’s hips, pulling him closer.

Phil’s boxers were off in a second as well, skin rubbing against skin. Dan pushed his ass back; he was a needy bottom and Phil fucking loved it.

Phil held two fingers to Dan’s mouth, motioning for him to open. Dan sucked on the fingers obediently, slicking them up with spit.

“This might hurt a little,” Phil muttered, rubbing Dan’s entrance with one finger. “Tell me to stop if you need to, alright?”

“Mhm,” Dan agreed, pushing his ass back again. Phil slapped it and Dan yelped, pulling forward again.

“Don’t be a needy bitch, Dan,” Phil growled, pushing the first finger into Dan slowly. Dan moaned.

“S-Sorry, sir-” he gasped.

Phil took his time stretching him; considering it was his first time he didn’t want it to hurt too bad. Dan flinched away at first but soon he was whining and grinding back on Phil’s digits. Phil moaned just at the sight, he never thought he’d have him like this.

Finally he pulled out, holding his hand up to Dan’s face again and instructing him to spit. Dan did as he said, and Phil slicked himself up with that as well as precum that was already forming on the head of his swollen cock.

“Ready?” He breathed, pressing his whole body against Dan’s and leaning over him to kiss his neck. Dan whined.

“Yes, yes sir, please, I’m ready, I need you.”

Phil hummed in approval; he loved how quickly Dan had changed from a good little church boy to a desperate slut with just a little kissing.

Phil pushed in slowly, taking his time in edging into Dan, which took an incredible amount of self control on his part. Finally he bottomed out, kneading Dan’s ass in his hands. Dan was a mess beneath him, whining and whimpering at every movement, conflicted between pushing back and pulling away.

Phil reached up, tangling his fingers in Dan’s hair, giving it a soft tug and driving a whimper out of Dan’s pretty mouth.

He began to thrust, pulling almost all the way out and pushing back in slowly, Dan gasping every time he did so. Phil snapped his hips roughly without warning, thrusting hard, and Dan cried out.

“Fuck!” He practically shrieked, a loud feminine moan falling from his mouth.

“You’re a loud little slut, aren’t you?” Phil panted, groaning as he thrust roughly again. Dan let out a high pitched whine.

“Fuckfuckfuck p-please, fuck, harder…”

Phil obliged, driving his cock deeper into the whimpering boy, skin slapping on skin echoing through the room. Phil tugged on Dan’s hair again, watching his face through the mirror, and fuck he could cum just from that.

Dan’s lips were swollen, his cheeks red and flushed, his hair messy and his eyes glazed over with need. Phil groaned, snapping his hips.

Phil knew he had hit Dan’s prostate when he screamed, a loud “FUCK, PHIL” bouncing off the walls. Phil smirked, angling his thrusts to hit that spot.

“This is a sin, you know,” Phil growled, reaching up to cover Dan’s mouth with his hand as he fucked into him harder. “Such a filthy fucking sinner for me, princess, ruined on my cock.”

Dan’s desperate muffled moans against his hand were pushing him to the edge, that and his tight heat encasing Phil’s cock. Phil smirked.

“Such a pretty fucking sinner too, isn’t that right? All for me. Your tight ass is all mine, yeah?”

Dan didn’t answer, continuous moaning falling from his mouth, muffled by Phil’s hand. He just nodded frantically, his moans sounding close to sobs.

Dan came after a few more thrusts all over his stomach, white streaking the counter under him and he whimpered, now sensitive to Phil’s cock pounding into his prostate every thrust.

Phil pulled out, quickly tugging Dan to his knees in front of him, guiding his cock to his lips. Dan took it obediently, lowering himself on Phil’s length. Phil groaned, tangling his fingers in Dan’s hair and fucking his throat as gently as he could. Dan gagged, digging his fingernails into Phil’s hips, and that was all it took. Phil came down his throat, keeping his cock still until he was sure Dan had swallowed all of it.

He helped Dan to his feet, holding him steady because it was clear he was close to falling over.

Dan just stared at him, stunned, watching as Phil casually got dressed. After he was clothed he cleaned Dan’s stomach and the counter with a paper towel, tossing it in the trash.

He grinned, kissing Dan’s cheek and backing towards the door, winking.

“See you next Sunday, Danny.”

Of Headbands and Hurt Feelings

based on this post by @fistatfirstklance + yours truly. also @wittyy-name asked me to tag her in this (haha im still screaming) so here we go

It starts as a one time thing.

Pidge had looked down one day, Lance’s older brother instinct had kicked in, and he’d ended up spending twenty minutes trying to string a pretty green stone he’d picked up on a piece of string. Any normal person would’ve just given it to Pidge directly, but Lance thought it’d be more fun to hide it somewhere and wait for Pidge to find it. She’d walked out of Green’s hangar the next morning with the stone around her neck and a smile on her face, and well. It spiraled from there.

Keep reading

Oh Deer God.

Little backstory: I’m playing a game with my boyfriend and a few others who have been really wanting to play D&D for a while. My boyfriend is DM'ing so I’m playing a dragonborn paladin, and on the team is also a half-elf ranger, and a tiefling warlock. Well, after waking up from being dead (long story), we are now in a time when the world is ending, the gods have left, and everything is going to hell in a handbasket. We are led to the last bastion of civilization and we all go our own ways to do our own things. My paladin joins the guard because she just wants to help people, the ranger joins a group that goes out of the safe haven’s walls and scavenges for anything useful, and the warlock decides to do his own thing. This is the story of him doing his own thing.

Warlock: *heads to the druids tower to speak with the head druid who is a plant person* Hey, anything interesting going on here?

Plant person: Actually, I have this potion that I made that I’d be willing to pay you to test out. I have no idea what it does, but I’m fairly certain it’s safe.

Warlock: Works for me. *drinks the potion*

Plant Person: …

Warlock: …

Plant Person: … Well … how do you feel?

Warlock: Well … everything is tinged green … *turns into a deer and has to fight to keep his mental stats*

Plant person: Oh … huh. *takes notes* Um, can you understand me?

Warlock (OOC): I’m gonna fuck with him and pretend I can’t and- are there any plants in here?

DM: You’re in a druid’s tower. Of course there’s plants.

Warlock (OOC): Cool. I’m gonna start eating one.

Plant Person: Oh dear. Well … it should wear off in a few hours …

Warlock (OOC): Okay, now I’m gonna head outside and make my way to the infirmary.

DM: Okay, you make your way down the stairs and head outside, anything else you wanna do?

Warlock (OOC): I’m gonna strut my stuff.

DM (laughing): Roll a charisma check.

Warlock (OOC): *rolls a natural 20*

DM: The people believe that the gods have returned and that you are one of them walking among them. They throw money at your feet and start singing the praises of ‘Deer God’.

Me, the Warlock, and the Ranger (OOC): *laughing uncontrollably*

TL;DR: The warlock, in deer form, was so full of charisma, people started worshiping him as a god and it is now a running joke in our campaign whenever anyone says ‘dear god’ that we are now reminded of 'Deer God’.

Post-Kerberos! Matt HC

★ When the rebellion group helped him escape, he just ended up sticking with them and eventually became one of the best fighters there???

★ He doesn’t have any idea where his dad is, but scavenges through old Galran tech to hopefully find out.

★ The group is pretty much amazed by humans and low-key terrified of them bc of Matt 

★ He dislocated his shoulder once and the group was like, “it’s horrible to see another one go,,,,” and Matt was just like “???? i can put it back in place????” 

  • Matt: Guys,,,,stop crying,,,,this can be fixed,,,,,
  • Rebellion leader: i saw a dear friend die bc of that, there is no survival
  • Matt: *silently puts in back in place*

★ He has a scar over his right eye bc of the Galra

★ The Galra also found out he needed glasses and basically went, “well we can’t have The Champions friend like this!” and injected some weird shit into his eyes. Matt no longer needs glasses, but his eyes change colors depending on his mood and who he’s talking too

★ Matt, talking to keith as his eyes turn red: And so– why the fuck are you pulling out your sword?

Keith, seeing Matt’s eyes turning yellow as he talks to Hunk: “Uhm guys? Are we sure that Matt isn’t Galra?”

  • “I am right here”

★ When he first heard of Voltron his main thought was, “Well that sounds lit” but when he hears that ‘The Champion’ aka Shiro is their leader, he immediately turns into that Mr.Krabs meme

★ Somehow some people find a picture of the paladins and everybody is just “???? the tiny one resembles matt”

★ Matt automatically realizes it’s Katie and that the red paladin is Keith and just,,,screams for roughly 5 hrs

★ Why is everyone he knows up in space? He has no fucking clue but w/e

★ Makes it a personal mission to track down Voltron for himself and the rebellion

★ They end up showing up eventually to make allies

★ The Paladins talk to some civilians first, so Allura and Coran meet up with the Rebellion leader

  • “Number 5?! How’d you get here so quickly??” “Funny story actually,,,”
  • The real Pidge shows up like 0.5 seconds later
  • Pidge//Katie, tearfully: “MATT”
  • Matt, nearly sobbing: Oh shit waddup

★ Keith screams at him for a solid 10 minutes before tearing up

  • “It’s okay. I know you’re gay and texan already, Keith”
  • “I fucking hate you”

★ There’s a tie between whether Pidge or Shiro cried more

★ Allura: I’m princess Allura and you are?
    Matt:
single and willing–i meAN MATT

 ★ **Takes in Katie’s appearance** “Well, one of us is going to have to change”

★ **Inspecting Shiro’s arm** “Yo, your weapon is just a bitch slap”

★ “,,,,,you guys do realize Allura just picked your lions off of your clothes right???” “No she–holy shit”

★ “whY DON’T YOUR LIONS HAVE SEAT BELTS?! YOU’RE GONNA DIE AT 6 SHIRO”

  • He essentially spends his time pointing out problems with basically everything tbh

★ “Why does Voltron represent the olympic rings??”

★ He realizes Keith has a crush on Lance in like a couple of days

  • “weLL I HEARD YOU GOT A SPECIAL SOMEONE ON THE SIDE, KEITH”
  • “Listen here, you piece of shit”

★ Slowly comes to the realization that he likes both Shiro and Allura

  • “Coran have you ever heard of a pickle?”

★ He helps Coran around the castle and stuff

  • “And this is the Teludav” “Y’all have fucking teletubbies here?”

★ Him and Hunk team up to annoy Shiro and Lance with puns

  • “I’m just over the moon with excitement”
  • “Aren’t you glad i’m not lion in the cold depths of space??”

★ Him and Slav get along pretty well

  • Shiro hates it

★ “In this timeline, there is a 42% chance of you getting together with the two of them.” “Thanks buddy”

★ “Why did you choose five kids to defend the universe there’s so many ways this could go wrong”

★ Him and Hunk set up the lions to play “What’s new pussycat?” 7 times with one “It’s not unusual” before resuming ‘What’s new pussycat?’

  • “For years, scientist have wondered if you can make 3 teens, 1 adult, and 3 aliens weep tears of joy by playing Tom Jones’ “It’s not unusual”.”

★ Lance is amazed by how smooth his skin is

  • Like, you’ve been in space for 2 years???? And majority of that was with the Galra??? Tell me your secret

★ Everyone figures out Matt’s crush on both Allura and Shiro and try to get them together

  • One plan consisted of a rock, 15 cups of nunvil, and a very upset bounty group.

★ Matt actually likes nunvil

★ The Lions all take a liking to him and everyone would be salty, but he looks adorable when he talks to them so they deal with it

★ Pidge voice: I’ve banned Hunk because he kept messing with my shit but now—
    Matt voice: yO I GOT MARIO KART RUNNING ON THIS

★ He appreciates the fact that Hunk points out all the weird shit that’s going on while everyone else just accepts it

★ “Do you think i could install the internet to my mind?”
★ **sees all the upgrades Pidge added to Green** “yO—YO!”

★ Anytime Shiro or Allura do anything remotely romantic to him, ‘What the heck i gotta do’ starts blasting from the Green Lion

★  Allura called his ears cute once, and nobody saw him for 6 hrs until Lance found him frantically grabbing Altean romance novels while whispering, “what does it mean?!”

★ They go to a planet where it’s considered normal to have more than one partner

  • Coran convinces the newly dubbed “Poly triangle” to pretend they’re actually dating for reasons unknown
  • They pull it off so well that the Aliens eventually ask when they’re gonna get married
  • Everyone had vastly different reactions

★ “You guys are fighting Zarkon right? Why don’t you just turn him Zarkoff?”

★ Hunk voice: Um, guys, what are those things?
    Obviously annoyed Matt voice: Aliens. 
    Different ranges of offended Allura, Coran and Keith voices: Excuse me?

★ “I’m fucking tired. beam me up, Scotty”

★ Keith, kneeling down on one knee: “Matt, Allura, will you do me the honor of marrying my stupid brother?”

★ “Voltron? More like Dabtron.”

  • “How do I return a brother?”

★ “caTCH THESE GAY HANDS ZARKON”

★ Tried to convince Shiro to let him Pidge and Hunk install a laser gun sound effect or the lightsaber noise to his arm

★ Once, he finally found the courage to tell Shiro and Allura that he liked them but they mistook it as him saying he enjoyed their company or smth along those lines

  • He tried to throw himself out the airlock afterwards

★ Lotor eventually shows up and everyone is tense bc he’s shown interest in the Blue Lion

★ Lotor sees Matt, and just pushes Lance out of the way: Hello there ;)

  • Everyone pretends not to notice Shiro’s eye twitch and Allura breaking the weapon she was holding
  • Lance was offended at first but seeing their reactions made it worth it

★ Matt is oblvious to Lotor’s attempts though

  • Everytime he gets close, Matt just assumes it’s some weird galra thing

★ “Raindrops on roses, Allura’s white hair, Shiro’s back muscles and Allura’s eyes. These two could probably kick his ass and they’re a few of Matt’s favorite things”

★ Obviously exasperated Pidge voice: You guys just need to bone
    Stern Matt voice: What did you say?
    Pleading Hunk voice: Please don’t say it again
    Not Caring Pidge voice: I said you guys need to bone
    Shocked, Furious Matt voice: B O N E!?

★ They visit a planet with very tall aliens and of course shenanigans ensure

★ Keith voice: Y’know Allura, Shiro, you should probably hold Matt’s hand, so he can’t get lost everyone around here is pretty tall

  • **Disappointed, obviously knows what you’re doing Shiro Glare**
  • Completely oblivious, already grabbing Matt’s hand Allura voice: Of course! We wouldn’t want that!”
  • **Undignified, silent squeal from Matt**

★ Hunk voice: The stars sure are beautiful tonight
    Lance voice: Y’know what else is beautiful?
    Pidge and Keith voices: A loving relationship between Matt, Shiro and Allura

★ Eventually, the time comes where there’s a serious fight that both Shiro and Allura have to go through alone, and Matt freaks tf out and terribly confesses to the both of them:

  • “Okay, listen tf up. I can’t do that dramatic thing where I pull you down and kiss you and say, ‘Come back to me’ since there’s two of you. But I will say that I love you both, and if you dont come back i’m taking out the entire Galran Empire myself”

★ Allura and Shiro are both shocked but Matt is already fast walking away so they can’t say anything

  • They come back and make a beeline for him
  • “LISTNE IVE KNOWN HIM LONGER PRINCESS”
  • “I QUIZNAKING SAVED YOUR BUTT BACK THERE I GET TO KISS HIM FIRST”
  • Allura makes it to him first

★ Keith cries, Pidge and Hunk pull out a confetti cannon they made for this occasion, Lance falls to his knees in victory, Coran pulls out a cake. Everything is good in the Universe.


[Read Part One// Pre! Kerberos! Matt HC here!]

anonymous asked:

dark rc would you please consider writing about how victor (and the rest of the Russian skate team) had a feud with the Russian hockey team bc of their constant flirting and attentions towards yuuri (who was completely oblivious at the war waging for his heart)??

This has been sitting in my inbox for over a month and I apologize for that, nonny! I wanted to try my hand at breaking through this writer’s block and this prompt was ripe for the taking. It’s not my best work by any stretch, but it’s something at least! I hope you enjoy.

+

There are few things that give Yuri pleasure—the taste of accomplishment like cinnamon sugar on the back of his tongue after landing a quad; having a comeback so cutting that he practically draws blood; that soft murrf a cat makes when it decides it trusts him; the little green screenshot arrow appearing next to Otabek’s name in Snapchat—but they all pale in comparison to whenever the Russian hockey team visits the rink.

Keep reading

My Favorite Songs for the Signs

Some of my personal favorites! Hopefully there will be a few in here that you guys haven’t heard yet 💁 

check your moon sign too! 

Aries: “Pursuit of Happiness” by Kid Cudi (ft. MGMT & Ratatat)

“I’m on the pursuit of happiness.
And I know everything that shine ain’t always gonna be gold.
I’ll be fine once I get it.
I’ll be good.”

Taurus: “Smooth” by Santana (ft. Rob Thomas)

“And it’s just like the ocean under the moon
Oh, it’s the same as the emotion that I get from you
You got the kind of lovin’ that can be so smooth, yeah
Give me your heart, make it real or else forget about it.”

Gemini: “D.A.N.C.E.” by Justice 

“The way you move is a mystery
Do the dance
You’re always there for music and me
Do the dance.”

Cancer: “Young Folks” by Peter Bjorn & John 

“Usually when things have gone this far, people tend to disappear
No one will surprise me unless you do
I can tell there’s something goin’ on, hours seems to disappear
Everyone is leaving, I’m still with you.”

Leo:Runaway (U & I)” by Galantis 

"Think I can fly, think I can fly when I’m with you
My arms are wide, catching fire as the wind blows
I know that I’m rich enough for pride,
I see a billion dollars in your eyes.”

Virgo: “Middle” by DJ Snake (ft. Bipolar Sunshine)

“Staring at two different views on your window ledge
Coffee is going cold, it’s like time froze
There you go wishing, floating down our wishing well
It’s like I’m always causing problems, causing hell.”

Libra: “Trndsttr” (ft. M. Maggie) [Lucian Remix]

"Fire when the strobe hits you
Bet you’re looking for something new
Staring off across the room
Bet I’m a trendsetter, too.”

Scorpio: “Stop the World I Wanna Get Off With You” by Arctic Monkeys

“Well I know that getting you alone isn’t easy to do.
With the exception of you I dislike everyone in the room.
And I don’t wanna lie, but I don’t wanna tell you the truth.
Get the sense that you’re on the move.”

Sagittarius: “Lost” by Frank Ocean

"Girl you know you’re lost
Lost in the thrill of it all
Miami, Amsterdam
Tokyo, Spain, lost.”

Capricorn: “The Less I Know the Better” by Tame Impala 

"Oh my love, can’t you see yourself by my side
No surprise when you’re on his shoulder like every night
Oh my love, can’t you see that you’re on my mind
Don’t suppose we could convince your lover to change his mind.”

Aquarius: “I’m Amazed” by My Morning Jacket

"I’m amazed at all that has been
I’m amazed at all that will be
I’m amazed at the tv stations
I’m amazed what they want me to believe.”

Pisces:Hong Kong” by Gorillaz 

“You swallow me
I’m a pill on your tongue
Here on the nineteenth floor
The neon lights make me come.”

-Admin L