well i guess since other people are posting it now

3

my room right now.

the old post has almost 70,000 notes?? hard to believe that many people have seen it. anyways, my room has changed a lot since 2 years ago, some of the previous plants I moved out of my room and some moved on to plant heaven (aka the garbage) unfortunately. oh well, it happens I guess?

since then I have also acquired a few frogs/lizards, and my mom won’t let me keep them in any other part of the house, so they have to stay in here. I try to keep things minimalist but it’s kinda hard when you have animals to care for.

all the furniture is either from ikea (lamp, lamp holder thing, tables, stool) or made from stuff from home depot (shelves and nightstand)

please don’t remove my caption.

Soundtrack Series - FOUR - Night Changes

Harry:  It was usually him flying over to see you, not the other way around. But he had been by himself for a few days and you weren’t entirely sure how he was handling it. He had been very chatty with you over the phone, but nothing coming out of his mouth was of any substance. He was struggling and you knew it. That was all the reason you needed to get on a flight. You hadn’t told him of your plans. He never told you when he was showing up, so why would you do him any favors? You liked the idea of surprising him, knowing he wasn’t handling single life well. You take the familiar taxi ride from the airport to his house. It had been a while since you had been over here, but you never forgot the scenery. “Cheers,” you say as you get out of the taxi in front of Harry’s house. You pull your bag from the back and pull it onto your shoulder as you close the trunk. The taxi drives away, and you stare through the gate. There weren’t any lights on in the windows so it was probably pointless to try and buzz in. You walk up to the security keypad to open the gate yourself. First try. Your memory surprised you sometimes. As the gate opens you slip through and walk to the door, fumbling through your bag to get the key. You had a key to his house; he had a key to yours. This was that sort of friendship. You let yourself into the dark house, the unfamiliar silence keeping you on edge. You had already assumed he wouldn’t be home when you arrived, he almost never was. And the fact that he never keeps any lights on while he was away irks you. You take your phone out of your pocket, using the light from the screen to make it up the stairs to the bedroom. It was rather late and sleep would be needed soon. However, you wanted to wait up on him. As you begin to unpack, you hear the front door open. Guess you wouldn’t be waiting up long. “Fucking light,” you hear him complain as you step into the hallway to find him using his phone to get up the steps, just as you had. You walk closer to him, still going unnoticed. His attention is fully on not missing a step. You’re at the edge of the stairs when he places one foot at the top, but slowly begins to fall backwards. “No you don’t,” you say as you grab his arms, pulling him forward. He immediately looks up from his feet to see you. His eyes were glossed over. Completely pissed. You sigh as you help stabilize him. “Nice to see you,” he greets with a smile. You nod and escort him to the bedroom. So much for a surprise. You sit him down on the bed and move back over to your bag to continue unpacking. “Have fun tonight?” You question him, as you pull your shoes out and sit them by the door beside his. “Oh, it was a great time,” he begins, lying back against the pillows. “You would have loved it.” “Doubt that.” You were never one to enjoy his party scene. “No, you would have.” He was so sure of himself though. “Everyone was there. Everyone I’ve been wanting you to meet for the past four years.” You were sure you had met most of them already. “Where did you go?” “Lily’s, she’s great.” You were certain you wouldn’t have enjoyed yourself now. “You two would get along so well.” “No we wouldn’t,” you answer quickly, as you hang your shirts up in his closet. “You don’t know that.” “Yes, I do.” Petty arguing, his number one objective while drunk. “How? You’ve never even met her.” “Yes I have, Harry.” You were trying your best to be patient with him. You wanted to tell him to shut up and go to bed, but you knew he wouldn’t have it. “When was the last time you were home?” You question as you walk into the en-suite to find the clothes he had worn home from seeing you still in the floor. “Uhhhh.” That’s all the answer you need, really. He has been out partying every night since he had broken up with her, you are sure of it. “Where are you going?” He asks as you walk back through the bedroom and into the hallway. “Don’t you worry.” You walk to the kitchen, knowing the layout of this house as if it were your own. You return to his side with a glass of water and aspirin. This isn’t him. You know he’s only acting like this to fill the void of the relationship he just ended, but surely there is a better way than this.

Liam: You weren’t sure if you were glad to be back in the UK, or if Australia had been such a bust it didn’t matter where you had flown to. Nothing about Australia had worked. Maybe you hadn’t planned it out well enough. But regardless, you were back to square one. Maybe this Mark guy was legitimate. Maybe that is the reason why she has been so stuck on him. So stuck that you aren’t sure where you stand with her anymore. Yes, she had somewhat apologized to you back in Oz, but an apology isn’t really what you want. You want things to go back to the way they were before she let herself get distracted. You’ve been back in the UK for nearly a week and she’s barely said two sentences to you; that’s a distraction she didn’t need to have. Surely there is still something you can do. They aren’t together. Nothing has been made official. You still have time. But time for what? What are you actually trying to accomplish here? You want things between you and her to go back to the way they were. What does that even mean? You want to go back to before the band, yes? No? Go back to where you got to spend time with her? But that was before the band. You left her for your career. But you didn’t think it would turn into all of this. How could you? But she was so accepting of you and the life you have made for yourself, she always has been. So if you don’t want to go back to before the band, where do you want to go? Back to before you had to worry about someone taking her away? Yes, that’s it. You were just being selfish, wanting her all to yourself. That isn’t possible though, and you have been told that several times. The rest of the guys tell you all of the time that if you aren’t going to date her, you can’t keep a hold of her when someone else wants to. That isn’t your place. You hate when they say that. Of course you can keep a hold of her. She is your friend; she has been for as long as you can remember. Why wouldn’t she choose you over another guy? She always had. She had spoiled you there. But you had done the same with her and your girlfriends. She hadn’t had a boyfriend in the last four years, something you were silently thankful for. You wouldn’t know how to act. Well, you would act like this, apparently. Selfish and bitter. Someone else is trying to keep her from you. That’s what your head is telling you. But you aren’t around enough to matter, are you? Your thoughts are driving you mad right now. That’s what you get for sitting in the house by yourself. You made the decision to stay in London, while she traveled back up to Wolverhampton with her sister. Probably not a smart move on your part. You should have told her to stay here. Maybe staying with you in London would keep her mind off of Mark. But if taking her to Australia didn’t do that, what was going to? Why was this so complicated? Were you making this more difficult than it needed to be? Yes, of course you were. You aren’t happy with how things between the two of you have shifted and that needs to be fixed, at least that’s what your mind is telling you. You run your hands through your hair. You need to clear out your thoughts, this isn’t healthy. You sigh deeply, getting off of the couch, having not even realized you had been sitting in front of a black television screen for the last two hours. What are you doing to yourself? You pick your phone up from the kitchen counter, unlocking it and opening your contacts. You stare at her name. You haven’t properly talked to her in days. Something that only happens when you’re out on tour, never when you’re home. You have to talk to her. But what are you going to say? Are you going to tell her how you feel? That she can’t be with Mark, but that she can’t be with you either? What are you going to say? You continue to stare at her name, your thumb hovering over the screen as your mind again begins to wander. You could tell her that you are a bitter jerk that doesn’t want to see anyone else make her happy but yourself. Yeah, that will surely go over well. It’s the truth though, and you’ve always been about truth with her, haven’t you? Not lately. That was another thing that had changed between the two of you. You had never kept things between one another up until Mark came along. Fucking Mark. Why don’t you talk about Mark more? How you hate the way he makes her laugh and smile just the way you do, except all he has to do is text her? Or how you will never give him a chance, no matter how much she wants you to? All great options for conversation. You slam the phone back down on the counter and walk away. You weren’t telling her any of that.

Niall: “I see you had fun last night,” he says as you settle in with your laptop resting on your legs. “You do?” You question. You hadn’t said anything to him about last night. “Yeah, there are pictures all over the place of you and Kati and a few other girls going out last night.” There are? “Are there really?” “Yeah, when was the last time you were on Twitter?” Well that was a stupid question; you hadn’t had time to go on Twitter in weeks. “It’s been a while. I don’t really have time for Twitter anymore.” “Well look at you, being the busy one.” It was true. The roles had practically reversed between the two of you now, especially since people were posting pictures of you. How strange. “I guess this is how I’m going to have to keep up with you now,” he only half teases. It shouldn’t be this way. You should be working harder to stay in contact with him. If you had time to go out with your coworkers, you had time to call him. You were just getting assimilated into the new lifestyle though, and he didn’t seem to mind.  But the weekly Skype dates wouldn’t last forever, and the both of you knew that. He would be back on the road soon. The timezones and schedules would not permit a free hour anywhere. You have to cherish these times because they were ending soon. “Hush,” you tell him, even though you knew the truth of his joking statement. You had used Twitter to keep up with him for years. It was all you had a lot of the time. You never could have imagined he would ever be on your end though. Searching update sites for any information about what he was getting into and who he was taking pictures with. You had made a life of that. It was his turn now, but he didn’t seem bothered by it. You were, though. This isn’t how relationships should be. Yes, Kati had given you that lecture a few days ago, but you were certain she never had to rely on a bunch of teenagers to be able to know what her husband was doing day to day. “How was it?” He questions and your thoughts move to the back of your mind. “What?” “How was last night? It looks like you all were enjoying yourselves.” “Oh, yeah. Yeah, we had a great time. Kati got three new clients last week, and Cara and Nadia both finished their residential renos.” “What about you?” He inquires. “What?” “What about you? What were you celebrating? Or did you just tag along?” “Oh. I picked up the Washington Square hotel for a full reno. So I guess I was celebrating that.” “When did this happen?!” He questions, excitedly. He was definitely more enthusiastic than you were tonight. “A few days ago.” “A few days ago? Why didn’t you tell me?!” You didn’t tell him? You were busier than you thought. “I guess, I didn’t think about it. I’m sorry.” You genuinely were sorry. He always shared his good news with you, so why couldn’t you keep to your end? “It’s alright. I’m sure the update accounts would have figured it out soon.” “Can you not?” You counter, not wanting to be reminded that they were now following you. “What? It’s the truth. There’s nothing wrong with them. Isn’t that how you keep up with me when I can’t call or Skype?” “Yeah, but that’s different. Your life is completely different from mine. You have a following; I don’t.” “Not anymore, and you better get used to it. Welcome to the update account life.” Update accounts. You hated them. Not really, you loved them. They always kept you informed. You didn’t want to be the subject of one though. You could update Niall on your life without their help, couldn’t you? 

Louis: You had to talk to him. You didn’t feel there were many other options. He had stayed with you for far too long, and you knew something was up. He needed to go back. You had to be the one to tell him. He clearly hadn’t listened to management or any of the other guys. You had to be the one to speak up. So you did. You told him everything that had been cluttering your mind these last few days. “I think we need to start over,” you had said to him. The look on his face was one you had never seen, and never want to see again. He wasn’t sure where you were coming from and was completely caught off guard by your request. “Why? What needs to be started over?” “This, everything between us. There are things you aren’t telling me and instead of trying to get it out of you, I think we just need to start over. You go back to London, and I stay here.” “So you’re basically just asking me to leave.” That wasn’t what you had been asking him. “No! For one, I know you’re missing things because you’re staying over here with me, and that really isn’t acceptable. You have responsibilities. Two, we had a really shitty start to this relationship. Everything that could go wrong did, and I think we need a fresh start.” He had stared at you blankly after your continued explanation. You hadn’t thought you had gotten through to him. “Okay.” That was all he had said in response. “Just okay?” “Yeah, just okay. If that’s what you think we need to do, then I am more than willing to do it. I will get on a plane tomorrow morning and go home.” He had followed through with his word, and here you are now at the airport, ready to send him off. He needed to go and the two of you needed the time apart. “I can handle things over here on my own,” you assure him, after his concerned eyes come back. You had been seeing a lot of them over the last twenty-four hours. “You promise?” He questions, bringing his arm in around you. “Yes, I promise.” The two of you were surrounded by watchful eyes. You weren’t going with him, so the security line was as far as you were allowed to be. “You can handle all of these people without me?” He asks, acknowledging everyone that was gathered around you. “Yes, I can handle them. I’ve dealt with them enough these last few months. Don’t you think I’ve got it covered by now?” “I don’t know; they’re pretty unpredictable.” He is trying his best to make you want him to stay, but you aren’t falling for it. He needs to go. He needs to be back home and with the other guys. They have been making that very clear for weeks now. You shake your head, and he sighs. “It was worth a shot,” he admits. He brings you in closer, pressing a long kiss to your lips, and you hear the crowd’s mumbles get louder. “I’ll let you know when I get to the house.” You press one last kiss to his lips before unlocking your arms from around him and letting him walk through security. He waves to you once he makes it on the other end and you smile back, sending him one last kiss before turning around to leave. “It’s about time you let him go home,” one of the girls in the group says, a glare in her eyes. You had just promised Louis that you could handle his fans. You had already been introduced to their wrath, and what a wrath it was. You are certain not having him by your side will make any difference in their actions and feelings towards you. Clearly you’re right because the moment he left your side, this one decided to speak up. You stare at her as she continues to glare. You only send a smile her way as you begin to walk out of the airport. You had wanted to start over, send him home, and be on your own. You can manage without him. You will just be smiling a lot more.

Zayn: “You want to go out tonight?” The question was a simple one, but all you could do was sit across the room and stare at him in response. “Is that a no?” He finally questions after you continued to sit in silence. “Yes, I mean, no. No, it’s a yes.” You had no idea how to react. He was actually wanting to take you out. “Well go get ready, our reservations are at eight.” Cocky bastard. Of course he already knew the answer before he asked it. You get up from the arm chair, turning to head up the stairs. “Hey,” he says and you stop. “Come here.” His voice was soft, something you had not heard in a while. You walk over to him. He takes your hands and gently pulls you down to him. He presses a kiss to your forehead before leaving one on your lips. He hadn’t kissed you in weeks. You had barely been able to get him to hold your hand when you had to go out a few days back. Your eyes remain closed as he pulls back; you didn’t want it to end. Your heart is racing. The kind of racing you had experienced at the beginning of your relationship. What was happening? Your eyes slowly open, and you are inches from his smiling face. Another thing he had not done in weeks. “Go get ready,” he says softly, the smile not leaving his face. You nod slowly and get up from the couch, stunned at what he had just done. In the bedroom, you find yourself walking straight over to the bed. You needed to sit down. Your mind immediately goes back to a week ago, remembering word for word the horrible things he had said straight to your face. Here he is though, seeming to be a completely different person. Well not different, but transformed.  You had spent the last few days with silence between the two of you. But silence was not fighting. You hadn’t even noticed it though, so used to the silence you hadn’t even taken in the fact that the still of the house meant peace between you. You smile to yourself at this realization. You had stood up for him and your relationship while talking with Gwen a few days back. Maybe you were seeing the result of that, the positive result. You get up from the bed; you need to get ready. You have a date. You walk straight to the back of the closet where the special occasion clothes are hanging. You file through each option, really wanting to wow tonight. You want to make sure he knows he isn’t making a mistake in acting like this. Your finger stops on one of the forgotten dresses. You hadn’t been out in so long you didn’t even remember how it had ended up in your closet. It was Zac Posen, knee length black lace with a violet lining. There were no sleeves and the neckline plunged nicely. This was your winner. You were sure you hadn’t worn this before, so there was a good chance of surprising Zayn with this look. With the dress selected you move into the bathroom. Your hair would have to come down, it was far too cold outside to have your neck and ears exposed. You work for what seems like hours on the perfect look, starting and restarting to make sure you looked exactly the way you wanted before leaving the bathroom. You stand in front of the mirror. You had put every ounce of energy you had into the person staring back at you. You pray it’s enough. You leave the bathroom and walk back into the closet. You stare at the dress you had decided on over an hour ago. It was like you were going on your first date again. The nerves were that bad. He would love this dress though, and your look, you were sure of it. You keep assuring yourself of that as you bring the dress down off the hanger. You run your fingers over the material. You were going to get your Zayn back tonight. He had already stepped his foot in the door and you were going to pull out all of the stops to make sure he walked all the way in and closed the door behind him. You step into the dress, bringing your arms behind you to zip it up your back. You smooth it out along your legs and slip on the highest pair of black pumps in the closet. You walk over to the full length mirror in the corner, ready to see what you had put together. You take every detail of your look in. Again, it had to be perfect. This was not a normal night. This was a relationship saving night. You sigh deeply as you continue to stare at your reflection. This has to work. You grab a matching black clutch from the shelf and leave the closet. The sound of your heels on the hardwood signals to him that you are ready. You were sure he had gotten ready downstairs, most of his nicer clothes being stored in the downstairs closet. You carefully make your way down the steps to see him standing in front of the television, dress pants on and blazer lying over the back of the couch. He turns around once you reach the last step. You smile at him as he takes you in. This has to work.