well i guess i know how

What has been your worst "nice guy" experience?

So, possibly one of the coolest things I’ve ever seen. I mean you know how you hear the “women want him, men want to *be* him” stuff in old movies? Well I’m a man and by *god* I wanted to be this guy. Anyway!

I’m having dinner with my girlfriend at the time, and behind us are a couple on a date. It is.. not going well. Guy was being rather creepy and making some pretty inappropriate comments, the girl doesn’t look at all comfortable.

The girl finishes her appetiser really quickly, my guess is she wanted to get it over with. Guy proceeds to comment on it and says “well, least I know you can swallow right?”. Loudly.

Girl goes red and tells him that isn’t appropriate, he literally waves his hand in a “shoo” type motion and says “oh calm down I was going to find out in a few hours anyway”.

I missed her exact reply as she moved to a hushed tone, but it was fairly obvious what was being said - fuck no, fuck off, fuck this. He responded with “sweetheart I picked you up, I know where you live”. She lost the colour in her face and said nothing.

No. No. Fuck no. I’m one of those “get involved” type of people and there is no way I’m sitting here watching this go down. I get up. I don’t know what I’m going to do, but I’m 23, fighting fit and happy to put that motherfucker through a wall. I may have had a slight temper in my youth. But anyway.

I was halfway out of my chair when a hand came down on my shoulder and I look up to this mid-50s but super fit guy who says “Easy.. I’ve got this one son”. Absolute, total confidence in his voice.. so seeing as my current plan amounted to “stab him in the neck” and I’m already thinking maybe that’s not the best idea, I sit down.

He walks over, grabs a nearby chair, flips it around and sits down with the couple. Then.. he pulls out his police ID and puts it on the table. Now the guy doesn’t have any colour in his face.

Cop: “So, I’m quietly celebrating my daughters birthday with my family when I distinctly hear you threaten this young lady, would you care to explain yourself?”

Guy: “I, ah, well, um, you see..”

Cop: “That’s what I thought. Now see, we take a *very* dim view of that kind of thing, so right now I’m deciding if I want to have some of my buddies come pick you up.”

Guy: “oh no well that…”

Cop: “But that would disrupt everyone’s dinner, so how about you hand me your ID, because I wouldn’t want you running off on me, then you go see one of the staff here and settle your bill.. the full bill now, this young lady shouldn’t go hungry on account of your poor behaviour. Or we can go with the first option, I’ll leave it up to you.”

Guy: “No no! That’s perfectly fine!” \*hands over ID, gets up and walks very quickly in the direction of the counter\*

Cop: \*while writing down the guys details\* “Sorry about that miss, I hope I’m not intruding it just seemed like you could use some help. Oh and don’t worry, if you want to pursue this further I’ll have some of the boys pick him up on his way home, we can definitely take this further.”

Girl: “No, thank you so much, I wanted to run out 30 minutes ago but he drove me here”.

Cop: \*shifts from hardarse cop to comforting father figure in about half a second\* “Well I’m here with my daughter, she’s about your age, perhaps you’d like to finish your meal with us? We can run you home afterwards if you’d like, unless you’d prefer to call someone else?”

Girl: “Oh.. that would be really nice.. thankyou so much!”

\*guy returns, so does the hardarse cop\*

Guy: “Uh so, I’ve paid the bill, if I could have my ID back..”.

Cop: “There you go.. now I have your details right here so I *highly* recommend you don’t go near or contact this young lady ever again.”

Guy: “Yes yes of course, I’m so sorry!”

The guy pretty much fled the restaurant, the girl went and sat with the cop and his family and by the time we left they were still sitting around talking and laughing about random crap.

It was hands down the best way I have ever seen anybody handle any situation, ever. That cop is my hero.


It’s never been about trying to look well-behaved. It’s just how I am. I guess it’s a weird thing to be 19 and not ever have been drunk, but for me, it just feels normal because I don’t really know any other way. I don’t know if I’d be comfortable getting wasted and not knowing what I’ve said. That doesn’t mean when I’m older I won’t have a glass of wine. I just don’t think it’s such a strange thing for me not to be wasted all the time.

jenniferjuni-per  asked:

"I wish I met you sooner." Fluffy, please 😊

@blackroselovesyou also requested this one!

Not gunna lie, glad you specified “fluffy” because this one really could have gone in a very different direction…

Words: 298 (I was cutting it close there)

“Captain Andor?”

Cassian looked up from his table in the mess to see one of the new recruits approaching where he sat. He racked his brain for her name as she approached – Sella? Or was she Jun? Too many of the troops in his morning training sessions blended together in his mind.

“Private,” Cassian nodded rather than guess her name. “How can I help you?”

“Well,” she began, blushing, and Cassian knew he wouldn’t like the way this conversation was going. “My friends and I couldn’t help but notice you were sitting alone over here, and we wanted to invite you to join us. You know, for dinner. And maybe later, if you wanted.” Her blush deepened as she stammered out the end of her sentence.

Cassian paused, wondering how best to remind her of his rank without sending her running from morning training. He’d had this conversation – all with fresh eyed, young recruits – many times, yet he’d never discovered the best solution.

“No, you see…”

“He was just waiting for me,” a new voice behind them popped up.

“Yes,” Cassian continued without looking over his shoulder. He knew Jyn’s voice without visual confirmation. “I was waiting on Sergeant Erso.”

“Yes, sir. Of course, sir,” the girl stammered, saluting before hurrying away.

I wish I met you sooner,” Cassian said to Jyn, now seated beside him, after the girl was out of earshot. “You could have saved me from this exact situation so many times.”

“I should hope you wish you’ met me sooner for a lot more reasons than just scaring away teenage girls for you, Captain,” Jyn snorted as she stole the piece of bread off his plate.

“Oh, I wouldn’t have time to list them all,” Cassian assured her, pressing a kiss to her cheek.

Send Me a Prompt, and I’ll Respond in 300 Words or Less!

Dex: Thank you for the practice, Zoe. I guess, at least I don’t step on your feet anymore?

Zoe: That’s already an achievement, I must say. Now, let’s aim for Prom King and Queen!

Dex: Zoe… You know very well, I’ve never been quite the type…

Zoe: You told me a family legend once, about how your great-great-grandpa became Prom King. If he did, you certainly should not doubt yourself.

Dex: Guess so.

Different reactions to Joseph

Me the day DD was announced: Joseph looks like that rich arrogant douchebag. Who would want to date him.
Me the day they introduced Joseph: I take every bad thing I said about you back omg. What a cinnamon roll™. He loves baking with his children, what a darling ;;
Me when I played DD: I love him so much omg look at him. He gave us cookies oh dear. How can you hate him.
Me seeing stuff about the cult end: Wow you know what? Fuck you. I trusted you and you fucking asshole just omg this is the worst, I got played by a white man. Now he wants me dead jfc would you look at that.
Me after his canon route:….. I mean…. I didn’t… I well… Okay I fucking guess
Me now: Joseph Christiansen is a complex and human character, who’s not a demon cause that cult ending is scrapped apparently. Of course he’s not good and innocent like we all thought but he also isn’t a bad person. It’s stupid to assume that he’s abusive or that Mary is abusive, when they both are bad in their own way but also have good traits. It is human to have flaws, which makes characters interesting and I hope that we will get a good ending, where he and Mary end their marriage and try to work out all their problems and maybe become good friends after this. Still it doesn’t change the fact that I love you.


Sheppard: I’ll be damned. Never expected to see you back here. How have you been Nova?

Nova: I’ve been, surprisingly well? I guess.  

Sheppard: Well, I’m glad to see you, this place wasn’t the same without our best analyst here.

Nova: *smiles*

Sheppard: The back lab is empty, feel free to carry on as you feel so fit, I know you know what you’re doing so I’ll leave you to it.

“Notice: I have bad handwriting. A child’s perspective on depression.

Hi, you don’t know me. Well, of course you don’t! I guess I’m pretty young to be talking about this topic considering I’m twelve. I apologize in advance for my errors in this story. I kinda SUCK at writing. Well anyways, here’s my personal story of depression. It started in 4th grade I think. (I’m going into 7th now). I didn’t have much friends. I was quite quirky. I rebel from the teachers and would fight back and argue. They hated me and called me things and I have no clue how and when it started but I became very tired (side effects of depression). I found out in 5th grade and started to take "happy medicine” as my mother called it. Then something terrible happened. I got diagnosed with type 1 diabetes. It’s NOT what you think it is. Look it up. You will be surprised. Everyone treated me differently and I had no friends for 5 months. Then I had a cancer scare because the doctors thought I had brain cancer. I’m ok, it turned out they were wrong. I moved with my family to Galveston, Texas. I don’t have a lot of friends but I try. I’m going into 7th grade now and am NOT ready. But I’ll get through it. I’m in NYC for fun now. But I got a Omnipod (insulin pump) and I can eat whenever and WHATEVER I want. I hope you enjoyed my story and have a nice day.“

anonymous asked:

You've changed. I liked the old you better.

Well, this is not at all cryptic.

Originally posted by sam2119931

Sorry to… disappoint? I don’t even know what to say to this, but lol.

thatdudethatships  asked:

You know how Trump fricken banned trans people from the military? Well, being in the Air Force was my DREAM! I'm not old enough to join yet, but I so wanted to when I was old enough. Guess thats not gonna happen =/

Aw jeez :/ I’m so sorry hun. Trump is a goddamn asshole. Seriously.

I want to punch the Cheeto with a wig.

@joestrummershowl tagged me in this, thank you so much!! (also I’m really sorry to everyone who’s tagged me over the past two weeks or so, I’ve skipped quite a few of these because I just couldn’t bring myself to do any)

Rules: Go to the largest playlist you have, put on shuffle and answer the questions with the songs you get

1. This song describes your personality:
“Isolation” by Joy Division (spot-on)

2. This song describes what you want/wish from your life:
“Koka Kola” by The Clash (definitely wouldn’t mind that)

3. This song describes how other people perceive you:
“Nothing” by Depeche Mode (oh how true)

4. This song describes the love of your life:
“It Must Be Love” by Madness (well I guess??)

5. This song describes your life at this moment:
“You Need Loving” by Small Faces (my playlist knows me better than I do)

6. The song you make love to:
“Slave to Love” by Bryan Ferry (perfect!)

7. The song to dance your heart out to:
“Miss Gradenko” by The Police (happens all the time, the bass is just too damn catchy)

8. The song that will make you cry:
“Road to Nowhere” by Talking Heads (spot-on again, it’s heartbreaking)

9. The song about your future:
“Nerves” by Bauhaus (well, I do have exams coming up)

10. The last song you will ever hear in your life:
“Famous Last Words” by Tears for Fears (how symbolic)

11. This song describes who you will be in your next life:
“Clash City Rockers” by The Clash (I am so ready for this)

12. The song that makes you feel better:
“But Not Tonight” by Depeche Mode (very soothing and reassuring indeed)

13. You end up listening to just one song for the rest of your life, and this is it:
“Hyacinth House” by The Doors (well, nothing to complain about!)

I tag @mikki-not-the-mouse, @suckmycoxon, @wilderdevotee, @rhapsodicroses, @disappointed-diamond, @call-me-lightning, @jam778, @davidgayhan, @britishsixtiesbeat, @davidbowiesfushigiballs and of course everyone who feels like doing this!

anonymous asked:

You must be so proud for finishing palo alto. I dont even know you but when i saw ju finished on schedual I honestly felt happy for you! And for me.. bc now I get to read it!!

Thank you so much! I’m very excited (and relieved!) to be done. It was a challenge to write something so long on a tight timeframe, but it was such fun to write as well. I’m really happy with how it turned out, and I hope you enjoy reading it. Thanks again for such a sweet comment!

(Read Palo Alto here!)

themissimmortal  asked:

Dia- I hear ya. I am absolutely shit at reaching out to people I am personally interested in. And I always pay the price- seeing them end up with someone else because I was too chicken shit to try anything 😢 Maybe just... be forward and honest? (But then again, it's so easy to say and fucking hard to do 😭💔) *Big hugs* I hope this situation gets better for you lovely 💜

Well, I am working myself up to it. Suffice to say, I did take a couple steps forward today with it despite nearly dying inside the whole time, lol. I guess it’s been so damn long since I had legit feelings for someone that I don’t know how to handle it without fear of rejection. Thank you for your words, Moosh. 💜

I guess i might as well put a LAPIDOT thing here.

Joseph Christiansen Secret/Cult Ending Manuscript

I went digging through the Level 18 gibberish and sorted out all the dialogue into a manageable manuscript if anyone is interested in reading this secret wild ride. None of the dialogue is labeled so I did my best to interpret who was saying what so any mistakes are my bad. It took a few hours to put together but I felt like some people would like more than just a summary so here is the full text:

MC will be short for Main Character or your player.

** edit 07/26/17: minor text fixes, better formatting, the insertion of more images (courtesy of purpledragon42) , and insert of a working readmore **

Level 18- Joseph Bad Ending or True Ending ( Who knows? )

This appears to take place after MC and Joseph Christiansen engage in sex in the yacht, except you don’t wake up to what you expect. This takes place in Cult_Dungeon1.

(Photo Credits: Game Grumps)

START: You’re A Monster


Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaawn. What time is it? Must have been asleep for ages. I wonder what will happen now that Mary is gone? What about Joseph’s kids? And how will Amanda feel about all this? That’s what matters… . Well, we all have each other. I guess time will tell, right? Better get up and greet the day.

Am I tied up?! What the hell?! How did I get here? What’s going on?! Joseph? Anybody?

You’re probably just dreaming. Why would there be a… Don’t panic… . a dungeon. An evil dungeon. Why would there be an evil dungeon here? This can’t be real. Maybe I had too much Twilight Rouge. I’m dreaming, or something.


Oh, I guarantee this is real.

Keep reading

I don’t play by the rules

Pairing: Peter parker x Stark! reader

Summary: Peter Parker falls hard for the new girl, and while he can’t do anything about it a certain masked hero might.

 word count: 2135

y/bf/n= Your best friend’s name

warnings: slight makeout? 

sorry in advance for any grammar mistakes, hope you enjoy it! Please tell me what you thought about it! :) 


Originally posted by tomshollandss

It happened on a Tuesday. A regular day you might say, however it was the day everything changed for Peter Parker. There he was on his chemistry class thinking it was just another boring class, another wasted hour, at least he thought that until the door opened, revealing the most beautiful girl he had ever seen.

Standing in front of the class was Y/n Stark. Everybody knew who you were, your dad was Iron man, for God sake! You came in the classroom with a designer outfit and bag that was probably more expensive than Peter’s whole wardrobe.

Peter continued to watch you as the teacher told you to seat right at the front of the class. Not only were you a really pretty girl, with the brightest smile and the kindest eyes, but you also had to be very intelligent, since this was the Chemistry AP class. Well of course she is intelligent dumbass! Her father is Tony Stark! She has obviously been in his labs before!

After that first time he saw you everything went downhill. He could never gather the courage to talk to you, let alone ask you out, so he settled for watching you from afar. She probably thinks I’m a creeper, Peter thought, however he couldn’t bring himself to care. He could watch as your smile got bigger when someone told you a joke, and how your eyes will get particularly bright whenever you got a good grade at math. He didn’t care about anything else.

Not long after your arrival to the school he got his so-called “stark internship”,  or his role as Spiderman. This didn’t change much for him. He was still a nerd loser and you were still  a popular girl that was way out of his league.

“Seriously dude! how come you’ve never even said a word to her?” Ned asked Peter as they made their way into the gym.

“Is not that easy Ned! She doesn’t even know I exist!”

“But you are like, totally in love with Y/!” Peter quickly muffled Ned’s mouth, stopping the boy from saying anything else.

“Geez Ned! Don’t you want to shout it to the world?!” Peter started lowering his hand and headed towards the group of people exercising. “You can’t just go around saying that! Someone might hear you!”

“I’m sorry but, like, I still can’t believe it! Don’t you see her everyday? in the, you know, Stark Internship?”

Since Ned found out about Peter being Spider Man he had made questions non-stop, pretty ridiculous questions, if you asked Peter.

“Ned I don’t just hang out at the Avenger’s tower you know? I have to be on the streets! Besides, she is totally off limits I mean! She is Mr. Stark’s daughter! He would kill me if-”

“Shhh- SHhhhhh! Peter listen!”

This time he was the one to shut up as both boys listened to a conversation happening at the bleachers across them. It was Y/n, looking as beautiful as she always did, surrounded by her usual crowd.

“Sooo Y/n, you must be surrounded by all those superheroes at your house right? You know, because of your dad?

“Well not all the time, but yeah, they hang out pretty often” She responded, trying to sound chill about the topic. Not everybody noticed, but Peter knew just how tired she felt about having to talk about his dad and the avengers all the time. None of the people that followed her around really knew her. Yes they knew about her life and her family, but besides that no one seemed to take interest in getting to know her for real.

That was kind of the reason why he prefered to hide his identity. Well, that and the possibility of being kidnapped and killed.

“Are you friends with them?”  “Are they nice?” “Are they hot?” “Is Captain America a real blonde?”

A load of questions were asked at you, however one catched Peter’s attention again.

“Are you friends with spiderman? Do you know who he is?”

“I’ve actually never talked to him, he’s never at the tower when I’m there” she replied shrugging her shoulders. She really was clueless to the hero’s identity.

“Seriously Y/n? Weren’t you supposed to be Spiderman #1 fan?” Y/bf/n asked, as she wiggled her eyebrows at Y/n.

A blush spread to the girl’s cheeks as she smiled shyly. Of course she had a tiny crush with Spider Man (even though she didn’t have a clue of who he was), however he never seemed to hang around the tower as the other Avengers. Maybe he liked being alone.

The conversation was quickly dropped after the coach told them all to get back to work, however Ned was not done.

“Dude! She likes you!” You have to talk to her tonight!”

“She doesn’t like me! She likes Spider Man, not Peter, besides-”

“I swear to God that if you don’t make a move on her tonight I will stop being friends with you! You have to promise me you will try! Deal?


Could it be possible that the most beautiful girl he had ever laid his eyes on had a thing for him? Even if it was the suit she was in love with Peter couldn’t stop the smile that crept through his face all day and the knot he felt on his stomach every time he looked at Y/n.

And that is exactly why he found himself later that night ready to go talk to the girl of his dreams. He already knew the crew will be out with Mr Stark in some mission he was not allowed, so that cleared the way for him. And anyways he was always welcomed in the tower, at least that what they always told him.

“You can do this Peter, you got this”

Peter tried to give himself a little of motivation before knocking on your door,however he couldn’t find the strength to raise his hand and knock on it, he felt like a bundle of nerves! None of his previous fights or encounters had him feeling this way, he seriously needed to control himself! Peter tried once again to knock on the door only to be stopped when the door opened completely, revealing Y/n in her pj’s and her glasses, apparently ready to go to bed.

Both teenagers looked at each other with complete shook in the faces, one behind his mask of course. The girl was completely speechless, she couldn’t believe the Spider Man was in front of her! And had seen her in just some sweats! She blushed deeply as she realised her appearance.

Peter tried to think of something, anything to say to her, however he couldn’t seem to find the words. After a long silence Y/n finally broke the silence as she leaned against the door.

“I can’t believe Spider Man is at my door! To what do I owe the pleasure?”

The girl was trying to keep it together, however she was still freaking out, but she couldn’t let her stupid crush affect her! This was her chance to get to know him! She could feel her flirtier side creeping up, trying to smile wider and lean closer to the boy.

“Well- I umhh- I just wanted to- you know- visit my favorite Stark” Peter said as he tried to recover from his initial shook.

“Then I guess you are looking for my dad, however he is not around”

“I actually meant you, I’ve been waiting to meet you for a long time now”

The girl was surprised by what the boy had just said. Did he know her? How come they had never met before?

Y/n started moving inside her bedroom once again, looking over her shoulder to continue “Since I’ve got no plans for tonight you might want to hang for a while, you know, to get to know each other and stuff”

Peter did not need to be told twice before he followed her around and into her room. Well, bedroom was an understatement to what her place really looked liked. It seemed more like a apartment of her own, with a big tv are, followed by what appeared to be her studio with a shit ton of books and finally her actual bed. She went into the couch in front the TV as Peter followed her close behind. She finally seated down facing the boy.

“Why are you here with me right now and not saving the world as usual?”

“Can’t a man take a break every once in awhile? Besides, I’m pretty sure your dad is taking care of that at the moment”

“You are probably right, sooo anyways..You said you had wanted to meet me for a long time, so here I am, what is it that you wanna know?”

“Well nothing in particular- it’s just that- you are- you are a really beautiful girl”

The girl felt herself blush at the words of the boy behind the mask. He probably did have a thing for her then? There was only one way to find out the truth.

Y/n leaned closer to Peter, looking into what she supposed were his eyes and took him by the shoulder as she played with the curls in the back of his head.

“So you think I’m a beautiful girl?” She said with a teasing voice, trying to make the boy a little nervous, obviously succeeding.

“The most gorgeous I’ve meet”

Peter could say this without any hesitation. Right in front of him was the most beautiful girl on earth. Her big eyes were looking at him and she was even closer than before, he was getting kind of nervous, but her fingers in his hair kept him just in place, right where she wanted him.

“So if I’m so beautiful, how come you’ve never paid me a visit before?”

She had started talking in mere whispers, now moving her other hand into his chest, playing with the material of his suit.

“I wanted to!- I totally wanted to but- you know your dad’s rules right? I’m not really allowed to”

She started to lift his mask, revealing only his mouth before saying.

“Well Spider-boy, you should already know I don’t play by my father’s rules”

Right after she finished she crashed her lips into Peter’s making the boy let out a surprised gasp. He was kissing her! They were kissing! He couldn’t believe it!

Meanwhile the girl was feeling exactly the same. She didn’t knew where she got the guts to do it, but she was glad she did.

His fingers sanked  into her hair as they continued kissing, Peter finally out of his trance brought his other hand to the girl’s face and cupped it, deepening the kiss further.

He felt himself biting into the girl’s lips, as a quiet moan escaped her lips. Y/n pulled apart only to straddle his hips with her thighs and roll her hips along the way, giving them both a little of the friction they needed, but not enough.

Peter grabbed her waist trying to pull her closer to him, his hand making their way to her legs, touching and stroking her thighs. They were heavy breathing, kissing longer, harder, rougher. Both teenagers tried to take and taste as much as possible, urgent and desperately, fighting for dominance.

He pulled apart and went straight for her neck, sucking and biting, leaving what would sure become hickeys by the morning. His morning somewhat bored with her long legs moved to her hips once again, before sliding under her t-shirt and holding her closer, moving his hand right under her bra.

The soft whimpers that would leave her mouth every time he bite a specific part kept him going. Another movement yet another time they would feel that friction and that need to pull harder at the other.

Y/n as getting pretty tired of that stupid mask getting in the way, so she pulled apart ready to get it off him, however a noise down the kitchen distracted her. She heard her dad’s voice calling for her! The whole team was there already? How had they missed it?

Peter realised the situation as well  as he quickly pull stood up and headed towards the window.

“I really have to get going, I’m sorry!”

“Will I see you again?”

Peter pulled the girl close to him for one last kiss, a long lingering one. A kiss he had dreamed over and over again.

“Sooner than you think”

With this last words the boy pulled his mask down and disappeared through the window, swinging his way from building to building.

Man! He could not wait to tell Ned the good news!

Done… FINALLY … I don’t have to stare at this anymore… ohwait this is my business card design for the upcoming convention.. nvm….  눈‸눈

I.. I don’t even know if i should could translate this :D

He just kinda swears in Russian (meaning something like “Well that’s just great”, “What am i going to do with you now?”)