well done sirius

  • Sirius: Awww babe, you had a crush on me? That's embarrassing.
  • Remus: We're married.
  • Sirius: Still.
2

Messrs Prongs, Wormtail, Padfoot and Moony  🎶

“ p.s. keep an eye out for a good gift for Remus from the lot of us!! xo ”

Who should YOU fight? Harry Potter edition
  • Harry Potter: Very bad idea. Self-sacrificing as fuck and defeated the Dark Lord AS A BABY. You can't fight a baby.
  • Ron Weasley: You probably could fight Ron bc he has insecurity issues you can easily exploit. You won't feel good about winning though.
  • Hermione Granger: Do you have a death wish?? Don't do it. Don't try. Just... don't.
  • Luna Lovegood: Doesn't give two fucks. Will probably forget about the fight halfway through and start talking to you about Bramblehorns or something.
  • Ginny Weasley: If she doesn't hit you over the head with a broom she'll make literal BATS grow out of your FACE.
  • Draco Malfoy: You can totally win this fight. Bring up his dad for extra points.
  • Severus Snape: FIGHT SNAPE. He'll be hard to beat but everyone wants you to. Literally everyone wants to kick his slimy ass. Fight him.
  • Molly Weasley: Do not be fooled by the knitted jumpers. She is the most deadly of all the Weasleys.
  • Albus Dumbledore: I mean it's probably a bad idea. He'll kill you without giving a fuck. Then seem all sad & apologise because The Greater Good. Before you know it your grandkids are named after him.
  • Rubeus Hagrid: WHY would you fight this man he has a HEART OF GOLD. Plus he's a literal half-giant. Have tea with him instead.
  • Nymphadora Tonks: Nah. She'd probably transform into your mum or someone like that. You can't fight your mum.
  • Sirius Black: Too awesome to fight, befriend instead.
  • Bellatrix Lestrange: I wouldn't fucking attempt this. Unless you're Molly Weasley. But lbr you're probably not as tough as her.
  • Remus Lupin: Why would you want to fight Remus Lupin? WHY? What is wrong with you? Think about your life and choices to work out where you went wrong.
  • Dolores Umbridge: FIGHT HER. DESTROY HER.
  • Lord Voldemort: This might seem like a bad idea but remember how he couldn't kill Harry as a baby? Or an eleven year old? Or a twelve year old? Yeah.
  • Remus Lupin: Have you done anything bad recently? Anything wrong?
  • Sirius Black: Wrong?
  • Remus: Yes, Sirius, wrong. You remember right and wrong, the difference between the two?
  • Sirius:
  • Remus: Honestly, Sirius! This is very basic stuff. What is wrong? Give me an example of something that's wrong.
  • Sirius: Just give me a second, Moony. I, uh—
  • Remus: Arson - there's one. Murder. Stealing.
  • Sirius: Stealing, yeah.
  • Remus: Anything else?
  • Sirius:
  • Sirius:
  • Sirius: Hexing people?
  • Remus: Well done! Yes!
  • Sirius: Thanks, Remus.
Sirius Black's Birthday Books
  • From the Black Family:
  • Year 1: The Complete History of Slytherin
  • -------------------------------------------------------
  • From the Potter Family:
  • Year 2: How to Prank your Enemies
  • Year 3: Lycanthropy: Myth and Truth
  • Year 4: The Methodical Guide to Animagi
  • Year 5: How to Converse with your Fluffy Friends
  • Year 6: A scribbled note - Happy Birthday, Black.
  • Year 7: Auror Training: A Beginner's Guide

anonymous asked:

Wolfstar alone at Hogwarts during Christmas, sledding, snow ball fights, and giving each other cute gifts

yes this is great


“What do you mean you’re staying for Christmas?”

“What do you think it means, Moony? It’s not like my family wants me at home,” Sirius said bitterly.

“Pads…you can come to mine,” Remus offered.

“No!” Sirius snapped. Talking about his family was always a touchy subject. “I’m not going to intrude on anyone else’s holiday!”

“You wouldn’t be in-”

“No, Remus!” He shouted and left the common room, slamming the door behind him.

Remus sighed. He knew there was no getting through to Sirius when he was angry.

He pulled out a piece of parchment and a quill and quickly wrote a letter to his parents, telling them he’d be staying at Hogwarts for the holidays.

He was on his way to the Owlery when he ran into Sirius.

“Moony I’m sorry about before, it’s just-”

“It’s fine, Sirius, really.” Remus smiled at him.

“Okay. Where are you going?”

“Sending a letter.” 

Sirius nodded and then they parted ways again. Remus got to the Owlery and tied the letter to one of the school owl’s leg’s.


A week later, when everyone had left, Sirius was up in his dorm, alone. Someone then burst through the door, making him jump up from his bed.

“Moony! What the hell are you doing here?”

“Oh, didn’t I tell you? That letter I sent last week was to my parents, letting them know I’d be staying for the holidays.”

“Remus, you didn’t have to…” He trailed off.

Remus shrugged and plopped down onto Sirius’s bed.

“Well, it’s already done.”

Sirius grinned and sat down next to him.

The two of them stayed up late talking, and fell asleep together on Sirius’s bed. They woke up the next morning and saw that it had snowed over night.

Sirius gasped.

“Moony we have to go sledding…please!”

Remus chuckled.

“Yes, we can go sledding, but we have to go eat breakfast first.”

Sirius was already up and pulling Remus down to the Great Hall.

Remus looked around, seeing that no one else but the professors were there.

“We’re the only ones here,” Remus said, sitting down.

Sirius looked down at his hands.

“It’s always just me,” he mumbled.

“Always? But you don’t normally stay, though, Pads.”

“I, um, always stay. I just tell you guys that I’m going home. Students can’t actually go home via portkey like I said. I just told you that so you wouldn’t wonder why I wasn’t on the train.”

“Sirius…”

“I’m sorry for lying to you, Moony! Please don’t be mad!” He burst out, looking up at his friend.

This was his first Christmas not alone, he didn’t want to spend it with Remus mad at him.

“No, no, Sirius! It’s okay, I’m not mad,” Remus reassured.

Sirius smiled at this and then quickly shoveled some food down so they could go outside.

Sirius dragged Remus back up to the dorms so they could change. Remus only put on a sweater and scarf, and Sirius looked at him, disbelieving.

“You have to wear more than that, Remus! You’ll freeze to death!”

Remus blushed slightly. Sirius always acted really protective and worried about him. Remus secretly loved it.

“I’ll be fine, Sirius,” he mumbled.

“No, Moony. You need to at least put on a coat. And gloves. And a hat.”

Remus sighed and did as Sirius asked so they could just go down already, knowing Sirius wouldn’t allow it until Remus was dressed warm enough for his likings.

Sirius somehow had a sled, and brought it down with them. They walked over to where a big hill was, and by the time they got there, Sirius was absolutely giddy. Remus couldn’t help but smile at him.

Sirius threw the sled down and sat down on it. He then spread his legs and gestured for Remus to sit down between them. Remus blushed, again, but did it.

They went down the hill over and over again, until they got too tired to climb back up.

When they got up off the sled, Sirius picked up a handful of snow and threw it at Remus.

“Oh, you’re on!” Remus shouted and then retaliated with his own snowball. This went on until Sirius finally just tackled Remus to the ground. They both laughed, and Sirius smiled down at him. Remus smiled back, but then got flustered when he realized the position they were in. 

“Thank you for staying with me, Moony,” Sirius whispered, his breath tickling Remus’s face and sending a shiver down his body.

Sirius noticed the shiver and smirked.

“Moony, are you cold? Did I not tell you to bundle up for that exact reason?”

Remus was happy to play his shiver off on being cold, rather than admitting to the way Sirius affects him, even if it meant listening to Sirius say “I told you so” for the rest of the night.

“Y-Yeah…freezing,” he whispered.

Sirius smiled.

“C’mon, let’s go get you warmed up, then.”

They headed back to the castle, and stopped at the kitchen for some hot cocoa before going up to Gryffindor tower.

They stripped off their snow-soaked clothes and put on their pajamas.

Remus yawned and laid down in his bed, and Sirius was quick to join him, laying so that their foreheads were almost touching, and wrapping an arm around Remus, who, of course, blushed. They quickly fell asleep, wrapped up together.

They woke up the same way, on Christmas morning.

“Merry Christmas, Moony,” Sirius said groggily.

“Merry Christmas, Sirius.”

They then both got up to open their gifts.

Remus opened the gifts from his parents, and then the gifts from James and Peter. He then realized that all the gifts he had left were from Sirius. He unwrapped them all. Sirius had gotten him several bars of Honeydukes Finest Chocolate, two new sweaters, and several books. He blushed when he realized Sirius had gotten him all of this, and he had only been able to afford one thing for Sirius.

“I-I’m sorry that I couldn’t get you…a lot. I can’t really afford-”

“Shut up, Moony. I love it,” Sirius said in awe as he unwrapped the gift and held up the leather jacket that was inside.

“A-Are you sure?”

Sirius sighed and set the jacket down to look at Remus.

“Yes, Remus. You don’t need to get me a million things. You don’t need to get me anything at all. But this is one of the best gifts I’ve ever gotten. So thank you very much.” 

He got up to hug Remus.

“Thank you for everything you got me, too. I love it, all of it,” Remus mumbled into the hug.

Sirius tilted Remus’s chin up, forcing him to look at him.

“This has been the best Christmas ever, thank you.”

Sirius then leaned down and pressed a light kiss to Remus’s lips, quickly pulling away to see a blushing Remus.

“Thank you…I-I mean you’re welcome. I mean-”

Sirius cut him off with another kiss. Remus kissed him back this time.

“This has been the best Christmas ever for me too, Sirius.” 

Snow white and the Four Marauders

i’m really loving the whole marauders-find-out-muggle-based-stuff. Read my last one here if ya like! 

* * *

You often wondered what the point was in having a door when the Marauders waltzed in around three to five times a day. ‘You know,’ You said, as they all piled in, ‘One day I’m going to be completely naked and you’re all going to just walk in.’ 
‘And that’s  a bad thing?’ Sirius laughed, getting a pillow to the face. 
‘She’s got that weird thing out again.’ Peter said, as if you couldn’t hear him. 
‘Oh yeah.’ James said, cocking his head to one side as he looked at it. ‘It’s so weird.’ 
‘It’s a laptop, James.’ You rolled your eyes. The marauders looked to one another, very confused. ‘I’ve shown you guys before.’ You groaned, ‘I really cannot be bothered trying to explain it again.’ 
‘It just doesn’t make sense.’ Sirius shrugged, sitting on the egde of Marlene’s empty bed, ‘You use it but you don’t even know how it works.’ 
‘I know how it works!’ You protested. 
‘Oh yeah?’ Sirius raised his eyebrows, grinning. ‘How?’ 
‘Well it…’ You stopped, and sighed, ‘Okay fine I don’t know how exactly it works. But I don’t need to. As long as it does what I want it to do, I don’t care.’ 
‘Weird. If it were me I’d want to know how everything works.’ Remus said.
‘Yeah well it’s not you.’ You said impatiently. ‘Can you guys go away, I’m trying to watch a movie.’
‘A movie?!’ James exclaimed, jumping from Lily’s bed onto yours, making you almost fall off. ‘What movie?’ He said. The way he said movie made it sound like you had just captured some rare and fantastic beast. ‘Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs.’ You said, knowing full well they were going to erupt in a storm of questions. Which they did. 
‘What’s that?’ 
‘What is a “Snow White”?’ 
‘That’s a lot of dwarfs.’ 
‘Can we watch too?’ You closed your eyes as the boys shouted the questions at you. Yet, as calmly as you could you answered. 
‘It’s a Walt Disney animation about a princess living with some dwarfs so she doesn’t get killed by the Evil Queen.’ You said looking at James. You turned to Peter, ‘Snow White is the princesses name.’ Peter nodded, still not quite understanding. ‘Yes that’s a lot of Dwarfs, well done Sirius.’ You said flatly. ‘And…’ You paused, ‘Okay fine you can watch as well but you have to be quiet and not talk during the whole thing.’ You placed your laptop on your bed and the five of you sat on the floor, leaning against Marlene’s bed, which was beside yours. As you predicted the boys made quite a few comments throughout the film but on the whole you didn’t actually mind. 
‘Woah they fell in love just by singing to each other. I wish that worked for me.’ 
‘That Evil Queen is such a bitch. Why can’t she just accept that she’s ugly.’ 
‘Peter is totally Dopey.’ 

‘What did you do this time?’ Lily asked, walking over to you upon seeing the cheeky grin on your face. ‘I only showed them a movie.’ You said, laughing. Lily followed your gaze which landed upon James lying on his back, a bouquet of flowers in his hands, eyes closed and very still. Remus, Peter and five of their other friends stood around Snow White A.K.A James, crying - Peter taking the part of Dopey. A few seconds later, Sirius turned up, shouting something about his declaration of love for the princess before kissing his square on the lips, making everyone around them, erupt in laughter. ‘I really need to keep them away from you.’ Lily said, exasperated. 

She Said Yes!
  • James: She said yes! I have a date with Lily!
  • Peter: Congratulations!
  • Remus: Well done.
  • Sirius: I was wondering when our bet would come to an end.
  • James: You made a bet?
  • Remus: Yes, about whether you'd acquire a date with Lily before the end of school.
  • Sirius: Or, ever.
  • James: You'd bet against me succeeding?!
  • Sirius: Of course not my deer-est friend. Who do you think I am?
  • James: I knew I could count on you, Padfoot. Shame on the rest of you.
  • Remus:
  • Peter:
  • James: Right, I will let you off for now as I need to go and sort out a few things for my date. I'll see you all later.
  • Sirius:
  • Remus: Ahem.
  • Sirius: Yes, yes, I'll pay you after dinner. Don't you owe Remus anything, Pete?
  • Peter: Oh, no, I'm not stupid enough to bet against Remus.
  • Sirius:
  • Sirius: Good to know.
start of something new

That’s right - I wrote a High School Musical/Jily fic. Happy New Year everyone, I hope you have a better year than last year and remember to stay safe and :))

In case (for some unfathomable reason) you haven’t seen the musical masterpiece which is HSM, here’s the song.

(PS It’s more just an au jily fic with a new year’s eve party and karaoke. So no war au + kind of hsm.) 

Anyway, once again - Happy New Year!

“James, for fuck’s sake, it’s New Years Eve, why are you practicing now?” Sirius Black is drunk, frustrated and 100% certain that his best mate is a prat. The party - that both of them are hosting, not just him - is in full swing inside and here James is, mucking about on his broom. “Twat.” Sirius mutters to himself.

Up in the air James sighs and slows to a halt, hovering twenty feet above the ground as he stares down at his plastered mate. He knows Sirius has a point but in two days he has try outs for the Puddlemere United team and if he doesn’t perfect the Triple Arrow Head Attack, he’s fucked. However James also knows that if he doesn’t come inside in the next five minutes, Sirius will hex him out of the air. So he descends - agonizingly slowly, thinks Sirius - to the grass and dismounts, slinging his broom across his shoulders and hooking his hands over the wood. 

“Why are you so determined for me to botch the tryouts?”

“I’m not. I’m determined for you to fucking interact with your mates.” Sirius kicks James in the shin gently and turns towards the house, not checking to see if James is following. 

“We haven’t seen most of them in two years, I’d hardly call them my mates.” James jogs to catch up with him and knocks the end of his broom against Sirius’ shoulder.

“Not that bunch of rowdy gits - us! You know, your best mates since First Year. The purveyors of mischief and all that bollocks. We’ve seen you once this evening and that was two hours ago. Your failing in your duty of mother hen. Petey’s already fallen over eight times.” Sirius gesticulates wildly as he speaks and James has to dodge his flapping hand. 

“Well I’m coming in now aren’t I, you can stop squawking.” Sirius shoots him an outraged glare and pushes open the back door, shoving James in before him. 

An hour later and James has lost track of how many drinks he’s had and he’s not sure if Peter is singing the Hokey-Cokey or a Sex Pistols song. The karaoke machine Remus had nicked from a muggle pub - he’d left some muggle money and a note promising to return it, much to Sirius’ chagrin - has proved popular and as Peter’s song comes to a close, he’s cheered of the make-shift stage as if he hadn’t just defiled the lyrics of John Lydon.

“Well done Wormy!” Sirius cheers, clapping him on the back.

“Your turn next Prongs.” Remus nudges James’ arm and nods towards the stage. The small machine is hovering in the air and shuffling through a list of songs. 

“No way am I singing.” He shakes his head, laughing at the idea. 

“You have to you tit. I’ve done it, Wormy’s done it, Moony’s done it. You have to.” Sirius leans casually against the wall, emphasizing his words with a jab of his forefinger in James’ general direction. Before he can make any more protests he’s being jostled up onto the stage by his supposed mates to the sounds of whooping and whistling.

“Fuck off! No - gett off, off, Padfoot. Moony what the hell - oi, oi stop -” He’s ignored and by the time he’s been pushed into the centre of the stage he’s realised there’s someone else up there with him. Fuck. It’s Lily Evans and, if it’s possible, James doesn’t know how it’s possible, she’s gotten hotter. Fuckity fuck fuck fuck. He thinks, running a hand through his hair as Lily flips one of her friends of - Mary, James assumes - in the crowd. Obviously she’s been forced up as well.

“So much for a fun reunion.” Lily says as she turns towards him, a flicker of something passing over her face when she realises who it is.

“Alright, Evans?” He offers her a grin and she returns it, which makes butterflies erupt in James’ stomach. Merlin’s soggy prostate, you’re 20 years old and blushing over your school crushGet your head in the game

“Never better. I don’t think there’s anywhere else in the world I’d rather be than on stage with James Potter.” It’s sarcastic but there’s no malice behind her words and James grins even wider.

“Should have told me that two years ago. We could’ve set up our own theatre company. I’m sure people would have come from all over the world to see us recite Shakespeare.” She laughs but her reply is drowned out by the sudden chorus of “Sing! Sing! Sing! Sing!" that starts, surely led by his traitorous friends. Someone pushes microphones into their hands and music starts, quietening the people in the room. James recognises nearly all of them and he labels them all traitors as lyrics appear on the screen. 

They sing and James knows he’s awful but he also knows that Lily is brilliant and more than it is embarrassing it’s fun. At one point she grabs his hand and he twirls her around the stage as they sing the chorus - he doesn’t know the song but it’s stupid and happy and definitely muggle - and it makes all the butterflies in his stomach explode in ecstasy. It’s better even then when she hugged him goodbye two years ago and kissed him, quickly and softly, before disappearing among a crowd of people.

The start of something new…“ The song finishes and they sing the final note together, grinning. The room erupts in cheers and James takes Lily’s hand, drawing her to the front of the stage where he gives an elaborate bow and she curtsies exaggeratedly. This earns them even more clapping and James wonders if trying to crowd surf would be pushing it. Sirius had succeeded but Sirius generally did when it came to things like crowd surfing and, y'know, being cool.

"Merlin’s beard,” Lily laughs jumping off the stage and turning to look up at James. He jumps down next to her and shakes his head, running a hand through his hair. 

“That was something. Never knew you could sing Evans.”

“Never knew you could dance, Potter.” She shoots back and James feels his cheek’s heating up. He really shouldn’t have tried that arm wiggle thing Remus had attempted to teach him a few summers ago. Lily says something else but he can’t hear a word she’s saying. Someone has informed the room that the fireworks - shit, he was meant to supervise them with Peter - will be starting soon and people are pushing towards the doors. He’s sure they didn’t invite this many people; word had definitely leaked through the Hogwarts community that there was a reunion party happening on New Year’s Eve. James supposes it’s his fault for not making sure to inform people that it was for the seventh years from 1977 only.

“C'mon.” Taking Lily’s hand again they make their way outside and stand away from the crowd of ex-students on the lawn. Someone turns the music off and in the next second people are counting down from ten. James hadn’t realised it was almost midnight. A golden ribbon, ten foot in the air, forms the numbers as people count down and Lily hasn’t let go of his hand and he’s not paying attention to the ribbon - - anymore because her eyes are so fucking bright and he’d forgotten just how beautiful she is.

Lily steps closer to him, her chest brushing against hi, and smiles. She’s wanted to kiss James Potter again since their last day of school but - for some unfathomable reason - two years had passed without them seeing each other. Now she has the perfect excuse. 

“3…” She whispers, raising herself up on her tiptoes. “2…”

“1…” He murmurs, hands resting on her hips.

“Happy New Year!” People yell out as fireworks erupt but Lily’s too busy kissing James to notice. Her fingers knot in his hair - after five years of thinking about it, the reality is better, and softer - as his tongue nudges her mouth open and she presses her hips against his and his fingers dig into her skin. When he pulls away he’s grinning just like he did when Gryffindor won the house cup in their last year and Lily bites her lip, trying not to laugh at the happiness on his face.

“Happy New Year.” She says, letting her hands drop from his head to his shoulders. 

“Merlin's beard, Evans, that was fantastic. You're fantastic. Did that just happen? Am I hallucinating - did Padfoot spike my drink? Are you even real? That was fantastic, -”

Potter.” She’d forgotten how he used to ramble when he was nervous or excited. Gosh, why did she fancy such a nerd. “How about a date then?”

“As long as it’s not karaoke, I’m there.” He grins and before she can roll her eyes, he’s kissing her again and, Merlin, it really is fantastic.

sassisaluxury  asked:

James finding out what Lily's patronus is :~)

Thank you for asking! I’ve been thinking about this idea for a multi-chapter fic I’ve been writing, so it’s been good to practice. Sorry if it gets shaky at the end, my writer’s block is really quite terrible lately. :/

Request a Jily/Blackinnon/Marauders one-shot here!

Lily Evans particularly enjoyed mornings.

She had always been something of a morning person, and often rose before the rest of her dorm mates, meaning there was a peaceful ten minutes or so in the morning where the Great Hall was filled with no-one but herself and other like-minded people, sipping mugs of coffee and tea, relishing in the silence that came with being in the Great Hall at its opening for breakfast at 7:30.

Lily knew that the alarm in her dorm went off at 7:45, and at approximately 2 minutes past 8, Marlene McKinnon would join her, followed by Mary Macdonald, Dorcas Meadowes, and Hestia Jones. If Lily was lucky, no one else would bother her before then. If she was unlucky, someone else (most likely James Potter) would interrupt her morning cup of strongly brewed coffee.

However, this was not one of those mornings, and Lily’s friends appeared right on cue, as the tables of the Great Hall were starting to fill out. Marlene flung a flimsy magazine onto the space of table in front of her best friend, and then flung herself down next to Lily.

‘Witch Weekly is the biggest pile of dung I’ve ever read.’ She lamented, tucking her blonde hair behind one of her ears.

‘Says the girl who forks out for a monthly subscription to it.’ Mary Macdonald takes her usual seat across from Lily, taking a sip from the redhead’s mug.

‘Why, what’s in it?’ Lily asked.

Dorcas Meadowes, who had dark purple rings under her eyes and hair that looked like it had seen only a pillow for eight hours, snatched the mug from Mary with as much strength as she could muster and gulped some of the of the bitter liquid inside down.

‘That’s my coffee, Doe!’ Lily complained.

‘I need it more than you, ginger, trust me.’ The brunette told her plainly, and preceded to take a nap on the breakfast table. Mary preceded to take the aforementioned coffee and continue to drink it.

Lily was about to repeat her question about the problem with Witch Weekly when they were interrupted by Hestia Jones.

‘Has anyone seen Professor Rydell?’ She asked.

‘Is she not at the teacher’s table?’ Marlene asked, glancing over her shoulder.

Hestia shook her head, pointing towards the empty chair where the Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher usually sat.

‘I need to give her my homework assignment from last week… why would she ask us to write about our happiest memory? This isn’t primary school.’ Hestia motioned to a sheet of parchment she held.

The rest of the girls shrugged, sharing her confusion.

‘I’m going to go look in her office. I’ll see you after breakfast.’ Hestia said, and, plucking Lily’s mug out of Mary’s hand, rushed out of the Great Hall.

‘Alright, well now my coffee’s gone. So could someone tell me the problem with Witch Weekly?’ Lily asked the table again.

‘Marlene has an inkling what Professor Rydell is doing with this whole ‘happiest memory’ kick.’ Mary said, picking at a piece of toast.

‘What’s that then?’ Lily poured herself another mug of coffee.

‘Well, I can’t be sure… I mean, I was doing some research for Charms the other day, and looking through some spell book… and, well, just for fun, I decided to look at the charms ranked as ‘Extremely Difficult’…’ Marlene said.

‘Only you would do that for fun.’ Hestia, who had since woken up, added.

‘… And I came across one that really caught my interest.’ Marlene continued, glaring at Hestia. ‘There’s something called a Patronus charm… apparently only very, VERY advanced wizards can produce one. It’s a defense against dementors, according to this book.’

‘And what does that have to do with happiness?’ Lily asked, stirring cream and sugar into her coffee.

‘Well, to produce a patronus charm, you have to think of the happiest moment of you life. And I’m not talking about  ‘6 O’s on your N.E.W.T’s’ happiness. I’m talking ‘wedding-day-birth-of-your-first-child’ happiness. You think about your happiest moment, cast the charm, and a glowing animal will come out from the end of your wand- the animal is a reflection of your soul.’

‘This spell book sounds like it was written by a teenage girl.’ Hestia said, piling bacons onto her plate.

‘The whole happiness assignment makes sense then… do you think we’ll be doing it in class?’ Lily clutched her mug.

‘Oh, absolutely not.’ Marlene said, spooning fried potatoes onto a plate. ‘It’s extremely difficult- far too difficult for us. It’s beyond N.E.W.T level- some Aurors can’t even do it.’

‘So what does Witch Weekly have to do with this?’ Lily picked up the offending magazine and flicked through it.

‘This issue just so happened to have a quiz that tells you what animal you are… so I decided to take it. And guess what I got?’ Marlene grabbed the magazine from Lily and flipped to the quiz page. The charmed page quivered with the answer Marlene had been given- a donkey.

Lily stifled a laugh. ‘A donkey?’

‘Apparently I have a ‘good sense of curiosity’ and am ‘slightly stubborn in my ways, which makes me a donkey. A donkey!’ The blonde’s voice raised dangerously.

‘Marlene, I promise you’re not a donkey. You’re not that much of an ass.’ Mary said. Hestia laughed heartily, her mouth full of bacon.

‘Some kind of friends you are!’ Marlene said, snapping the magazine shut.

‘Mar, why are you worried about this? I thought you said Rydell wouldn’t teach us the Patronus charm?’ Lily placed a reassuring hand on her friend’s shoulder.

‘Well, she is quite liberal in her ways, isn’t she? She was in the Freedom for Giants in Bars Protests in 1954. Apparently she was quite a leader in the politics of letting giants have a pint.’ Mary told them.

‘And she’s a Muggleborn.’ Marlene said.

‘So?’ Lily asked.

‘Well, she knows about the stuff that’s being said about Muggleborns currently.’ Marlene shifted uncomfortably in her seat. The whole group remembered how only a few weeks earlier, anti-Muggleborn posters had pitched up all over the school and three Muggleborn Aurors were killed mysteriously on a mission.

‘So you think she’ll teach us the charm in case Death Eaters send dementors after every Muggleborn in school?’ Lily asked, her eyebrows raising.

‘Just as a precaution! You know how things are right now- the Ministry is a mess, Muggleborns are disappearing all over… we won’t be safe in Hogwarts forever.’ Marlene said. Her voice seemed to get quieter as she finished her sentence. She was a Muggleborn, same as Lily, and both Mary and Hestia were half bloods.

‘Merlin, Mar, don’t be so depressing and existential. You get any trouble from anyone, you come to me. The name ‘Hestia Jones’ strikes fear into pureblood hearts across the land.’ Hestia said, wielding her fork like a sword.

‘What, are they worried you might exhibit bad table manners or refuse an arranged marriage?’ Mary joked, referencing to the many escapades Hestia had recounted from the multiple occasions her pureblood family forced her to go to. Hestia kicked her under the table.

‘Marlene, even if we do the Patronus charm, which we won’t… I doubt a donkey will come out of your wand. What does some stupid magazine know anyway?’ Lily said, picking up the magazine and shoving it in her bag.

‘You’re right, you’re right. Anyway, we should get going. It’s nearly class time.’ The blonde stood, glancing at her watch. The other girls followed suit, and the four of them exited the Great Hall, with Lily snapping her back shut on the issue of Witch Weekly that had caused so much strife.

*

A few hours later, the Defense Against the Dark Arts 7th year class was in full swing. Professor Rydell had told the class they were to do something rather unorthodox that day, and requested that they push the tables and chairs to the sides of the room to make space. The students obliged, and the teacher proceeded to explain the intricacies of the Patronus charm, referencing to their ‘happiest moment’ assignment as an introduction to the subject.

Marlene gave a knowing, pointed look to Lily, Mary and Hestia.

Immediately after finishing her explanation, Professor Rydell was berated with questions.

‘Is this in the syllabus?’

‘Well, no-’

‘Why are we learning it?’

‘I think it would be a very effective-’

‘Does Dumbledore know about this?’

The teacher smiled. ‘He does, actually. In fact, he put the idea of you all learning it forward.’

The students exchanged looks, either of amusement, excitement, or disgust.

‘So, shall we get to it?’

*

Within fifteen minutes, the students were scattered around the room in small groups, attempting to produce a Patronus.

Professor Rydell circled the groups. ‘Don’t be disappointed if you can’t get it. This is an extremely hard piece of magic, and some older wizards can’t even produce one. Your memory has to be very potent, and you may be took young to have a memory like that.’

‘Expecto patronum!’ Just as soon as the Professor had finished speaking, Sirius Black’s wand erupted. Out the end of it bounded a silver wolf, which dashed around above the heads of teenagers, until eventually curling up on a windowsill and disappearing into thin air.

The whole room erupted into applause. The Marauders all exchanged a look. James Potter pretending to be cleaning his glasses to prevent himself from laughing out loud.

‘Well done, Sirius!’ proclaimed Professor Rydell. ‘I can’t seem to recall your essay. What was your happiest memory?’

‘My first shag.’ The 17-year-old said. The rest of the class burst into laughter.

‘Alright, alright! Everyone calm down. Very funny, Mr. Black. See me for a detention after class.’ The teacher attempted to harness control over the group. ‘Back to work.’ She said.

*

Lily was losing faith in herself. The class was nearly over, and she had been trying in vain for over an hour to produce anything more than few wisps from the end of her wand. Mary had supplied a swan sometime after Sirius demonstrated his own Patronus. Hestia’s silver lioness had scared the various animals the rest of the class had produced, shaking its large mane and dissipating. Marlene, who’s earlier fear of a silver donkey clomping its way out of her wand, was instead gifted with fox, which slunk around the room before running into Sirius’ own Patronus (which he had recast in order the impress the various girls in the class fawning over him) and chasing it around the room, much to Marlene’s amusement. Lily turned away from the commotion.

‘Screw you, McKinnon!’ The boy had shouted from across the room.

‘It’s not my fault your Patronus is scared of mine.’ Marlene replied, grinning triumphantly.

‘It’s not surprising that it’s a fox. You always were a bit of a vixen.’ The boy countered.

‘Jealousy doesn’t suit you, Black.’ Marlene said, twirling her wand.

‘Alright, alright, enough.’ Professor Rydell silenced the two with a raise of her palms. ‘Now, class, some interesting facts about the Patronus charm…’

James was losing faith in himself. He’d been trying for almost the entire class to create something – anything- out the end of his wand. His predicted stag had yet to appear- Remus had gone incredibly pale as a giant wolf appeared above him, snarling at the rabbit to his left and horse to his right. Peter was still making a feeble attempt at producing something as well, but James would be damned if he would be the last in the Marauders to conjure up a Patronus. This was meant to be one his best classes. James turned away from the commotion.

‘… seeing as a Patronus is a reflection of your soul in form of an animal, legendary ‘soulmates’, who share the male and female counterparts of an animal have existed. Lance and Mary Crockerman each had the Patronus of a stallion and a mare, respectively. Other examples include…’ Professor Rydell told the students.

Lily closed her eyes. Happiest thought, she told herself.

James closed his eyes. Happiest thought, he told himself.

Images flashed before Lily’s eyes. Her stomach flip-flopped as she remembered her first day at Hogwarts, how her 12-year-old self had hardly kept it together as the magnificent castle came into view for the first time, as the floppy hat atop her head shouted, ‘GRYFFINDOR!’, as she had encountered ghosts and moving painting and owls, and as she finally felt at home. She smiled despite herself.

Images flashed before James’ eyes. Although he had told the rest of the Marauders that his happiest memory was being appointed Quidditch captain, it really lay with the family holiday he had taken with his parents when he was eight. The seaside, endless ice cream, and time with his usually-busy parents was heaven for young James Potter, and he involuntarily grinned at the image of his parents lifting him off the ground as they strolled along the beach.

‘Expecto patronum.’ They said in unison, from opposite sides of the room.

‘… boars and sows, roosters and hens, and…’ Professor Rydell continued to orate to the room.

From James’ wand came a proud stag, it’s antlers presiding high above its head. It galloped in a circle above James’ head, then seemed to have been distracted from something across the room, and rushed towards it. James turned.

From Lily’s own wand came a doe, it’s large eyes unblinking as it circled her, then caught sight of something over Lily’s shoulder and moved towards it. She whipped round.

The two silvery animals met in the middle of the room, circled each other, and then nestled together, suspended many feet above the rest of the class and the unassuming teenagers who had cast them.

‘… a stag and doe.’ Professor Rydell finished, smiling at James and Lily in turn.

There were a few moments of silence. Lily’s mouth fell open in shock as she looked from her Patronus to James, then back to her Patronus, over and over.

Finally, James cracked a smile. ‘Soulmates.’ He said. ‘How about that, Evans?’

In Lily’s green eyes were a mix of anger, astonishment, and something James couldn’t quite place. For a moment, he could’ve mistaken it for fondness. Suddenly the school bell rang, and, in a flash, it was gone.

‘Absolutely ridiculous.’ Lily said, turning on her heel and stalking away from the discourse happening above her head.

‘Class dismissed!’ Professor Rydell called, and the group broke apart. Lily’s friends followed her out of the classroom. As soon as she was out of sight, her Patronus disappeared. James’ stag, seemingly now lost, looked for his companion. When he was unable to find her, he bowed his antlered head and disappeared as well.

The last of the students trickled out of the classroom and into the busy halls. The Marauders lagged behind, waiting for James as he packed up his wand.

‘Boys,’ he addressed them, ‘I hope you won’t be insulted, but I have to choose only one of you to be my best man, unfortunately.’ He said, running his hand through his hair.

‘Is it me?’ Sirius asked, leading the rest of them out into the hall.

‘Of course, Padfoot. Though, I’ll need all of you at my side at my wedding to Lily.’ He told Remus and Peter.

Lily and her group, who weren’t far ahead due to the business of the halls, heard this conversation unfolding.

‘Shut up, Potter, I am NOT marrying you!’ The redhead shouted above the commotion.

‘We’ll see, Evans.’ James replied cheekily.

‘Oh no, we won’t.’ She turned to face him. The rest of the students in the hall passed by them.

‘Soulmates, Lily, remember?’ James tapped his temple knowingly.

‘That doesn’t mean anything.’ She said, turning to walk away from him. The halls were starting to empty as the ringing of the school bell neared.

‘Oh, I beg to differ!’ James called after her as she continued down the hall. ‘I’m thinking a deer theme for the wedding. You know, the stag and the doe and all. And yellow for the bridesmaids’ dresses. Do you think that’ll clash with you hair?’

‘Screw you, Potter!’ She turned for a moment, and James caught the fondness in her eyes again, before she turned the corner and was out of sight.


Thank you for requesting and reading! xx Mica

  • Bellatrix Lestrange: What's the punishment for regicide? Drawing and quartering? Hanging? Breaking at the wheel?
  • Sirius Black: Beheading.
  • Bellatrix Lestrange: Seems rather ordinary. And he was my nephew as well, so what is that? Fratricide is brothers. Filicide is sons. Nepoticide. That's the one. Matricide, patricide, infanticide, suicide. There's no kind of killing that doesn't have its own word.
  • Sirius Black: Cousins.
  • Bellatrix Lestrange: Cousins, you're right. There is no word for cousin killing. Well done.
  • Sirius: Well done.
  • James: Has the swelling gone down at all?
  • Sirius: Nope. Why do you talk to Lily when she has a wand in her hand? You're asking for trouble.
  • James: True love has its obstacles.
  • Remus: Perhaps you should work on what you say rather than when you say it?
  • James: What's wrong with what I say?
  • Sirius:
  • Remus:
  • Sirius: Give up now, Remus.
  • Remus: I already have.
  • James: What did I say?
Cupcakes (Sirius)

Can you do an imagine where the reader and Sirius have been dating for awhile and Harry’s first birthday is coming up so they decide to make cupcakes but they end up making a mess and flour gets everywhere and super fluffy? Thank you x

A/N honestly this request reminds me of that Halloween cooking video of zalfie omg 

* * *

‘Y/n.’ Sirius said one night as you both lay in bed. 
‘What?’ You replied, not opening your eyes. 
‘Today is July the 30th.’ He said slowly. You sighed to yourself, wishing that sometimes (especially when it’s 11 o’clock at night) he would just get to the point. ‘Well done Sirius.’ You said, still not opening your tired eyes, ‘You’ve finally learnt how the world works.’ 
‘Y/n.’ He said again. 
‘What Sirius?’ You groaned, sitting up and looking at him. 
‘That means tomorrow is the 31st…of July.’ He said. You stared blankly at him, 
‘Wow Sirius your pick up lines have really gone down…hill…’ You said, slowly realizing. ‘Oh shit.’ You said, ‘Tomorrow is-’ 
‘-Harry’s birthday.’ Sirius finished. 
‘Fuck.’ 

You both sprinted out of bed and down the stairs, walking aimlessly around. ‘How could we have forgotten Harry’s first birthday?’ You worried. 
‘Surely there is something we can put together for tomorrow.’ Sirius cried. 
You looked around and stopped as you spotted a carton of eggs sitting on the kitchen bench. ‘I’ve got it.’ You said. You walked into the kitchen and started pulling things out of the cupboards as Sirius watched you with his eyebrows furrowed. ‘What are you doing?’ 
‘Cupcakes.’ You simply said. Sirius nodded, 
‘Right! Good idea!’ He replied, joining you into the kitchen. ‘One problem though,’ He said, ‘I’ve never made cupcakes.’ 
‘Well lucky for you, I carry the smarts for the both of us.’ You winked. Sirius rolled his eyes, ‘Alright genius, what are we doing?’ You grabbed a bowl and started to throw in the right ingredients as Sirius stirred it all together. 
‘Hold on.’ Sirius said once you had finally created the mixture and were now pouring it into cute cupcake shells. ‘Why did we do this all without magic?’ 
‘The magic,’ You said smiling, ‘was creating these cupcakes.’ You winked. Sirius shook his head, ‘You’re a loser.’ He said. 
‘Right.’ You said, putting the tray of cupcakes into the oven. ‘Now we wait.’ You both started to pack up all of the ingredients when Sirius being Sirius dropped the bag of flour and it all poured out onto the counter. ‘Oops.’ 
‘Oh my gosh Sirius.’ You groaned, laughing slightly. You scooped up a handful of flour and threw it over him. ‘Hey!’ Sirius cried, looking at the white powder that now covered his top half. ‘Well it’s an improvement to say the least.’ You laughed. Sirius shook his head and before you could do anything he picked up a scoop of flour and threw it over you. ‘Sirius!’ You screamed, spitting into the sink as it had managed to get in your mouth. ‘Wow what an improvement.’ He said, mockingly. Without warning you picked up an egg and smashed it over his head, the yolk dripping down the back of his neck. ‘I really hate you.’ Sirius said before throwing more flour at you. Both laughing, you looked around the kitchen. ‘Bags not cleaning this up.’ You said, looking at the mess you had created. Sirius still had some flour in his hands and he blew it off, adding it to the rest of the mess. He put his arm around you and kissed the top of your head. ‘Well this is something I didn’t think we’d be doing at midnight.’ He laughed. ‘Aw it’s midnight which means it’s Harry’s birthday.’ You smiled, tiredly. ‘Happy birthday Harry.’ You whispered, Sirius arm still wrapped around you. ‘Happy birthday Harry.’ Sirius repeated.

wolfechildofslytherin  asked:

Could you do something where wolfstar babysits baby Harry, and they're just super cute together? And like, Sirius turns into Padfoot to entertain him?

OMG YASS @wolfechildofslytherin! I’ve been wanting to do something with one of my ships taking care of a baby, and u gave me the perfect opportunity. Hope you enjoy!

—-

“Are you sure this will work?” Lily whispers to James, eyeing the two men standing awkwardly at the front door.

“Absolutely.”

“Do we have to get Harry into this?” Lily asks, her voice full of so much doubt, she could drown someone in it.

“Well how else are we going to get them alone in a house together?” James whispers urgently behind his hand.

“Okay!” Lily says loudly with a clap of her hands. “You guys know what to do?” She asks. Sirius shakes his head no and Remus shakes his head yes.

“Alright. We’ll leave you two to it. Make sure Harry is in bed by 8 and keep a very close eye on him. I’m trusting you two.”

“Don’t worry Lily. We’ll take good care of him,” Remus says, gently bouncing the baby in his arms because it feels right. Really, he doesn’t know what the heck he is doing.

“Alright. Bye Padfoot! Bye Moony!” Lily calls, her and James taking out their wands. There is a loud crack and James and Lily disappear for their date.

When the door closes, they both turn to each other.

“Do you have any idea how to take care of a baby?” Sirius asks.

“Not the slightest idea. You?”

“James and Lily are going to kill us.” Remus nods his head in agreement, and that’s exactly when Baby Harry starts crying.

“Shit Sirius! He’s crying! What do we do?” Remus says, panicking.

“Oh! Um…. well let’s see…. that must mean that…. um….. he either needs a diaper change….. is hungry….. or…. sleepy?” Remus slaps Sirius’ shoulder with his free hand.

“Ow! What was that for?”

“For telling James and Lily we could babysit when we don’t even know what to do with a baby. And, god he’s heavy. Can you take him?” Sirius rolls his eyes and holds out his hands, letting Remus put the squirming baby in his arms. The baby stops crying.

“Oh c'mon!” Remus cries in frustration.

“Guess he doesn’t like werewolves, Moony.”

“Shut up, Sirius. He just likes playing with your hair.” Sirius looks down and notices that Harry has started playing with his long, dark curls, transfixed. Sirius rolls his eyes and gently caresses his finger on the baby’s soft skin. Harry giggles.

“Aww! Moony, did you hear that? Look at this adorable little monster.” Remus looks at Sirius straight in the eye.

“Okay… Who are you and what have you done with Padfoot?” he says.

“Adfoo?” Harry asks in question.

“That’s right, little pumpkin. It’s your Uncle Padfoot.”

—–

They do everything they’re supposed to do, everything going surprisingly well. Harry, Remus, and Sirius play with all the little trinkets James and Lily got for Harry and make sure he eats the food he needs. Sirius giggles the whole time and Remus soon joins in. He can’t help but be in awe of Sirius. He’s playing with Harry so well. It’s as if he babysat all the time. Maybe it’s just experience with a younger brother. Maybe he was meant to be a father.

Which isn’t at all what Remus can give him. Sirius is his own human being entirely and deserves to be happy with a family and 2.5 kids. Remus can almost picture it, but it somehow fills him with sorrow. Thinking of Sirius getting married and having children. It’s like cutting the last cord of childlife away. He’s worried that Sirius will forget him.

“Hey Moony! Look at this!” Sirius calls joyfully from the other room. Remus was just starting to prepare dinner for the adults. It consisted of the limited number of supplies they had available. Chicken nuggets.

Remus walks into the living room where Sirius and Harry are sitting face to face. Harry is staring blankly at nothing and Sirius looks like he’s gonna burst with pride.

“Okay. Sit down,” Sirius orders. Remus sits, a small smile starting to play across his lips.

“Okay, Harry. Who am I?” Sirius says.

“Pafoo!” Harry says eagerly.

“Good. Now who is this handsome devil right here?” Sirius says, pointing at Remus, who blushes a little.

“Oony!” Harry shrieks, pointing. Remus smiles a huge smile.

“That’s right, little one,” Remus says, tickling Harry’s neck. He giggles in delight and his small fingers wrap around Remus’ finger. He plays with Remus’ hand, slowly muttering “Oony” over and over.

—-

“Sirius? We have to get him to bed,” Remus says. It’s nine o'clock and way past Harry’s bedtime.

“Oh wow. Your right,” Sirius says, finally looking at the clock.

“Alright. C'mon you little monster. Time for bed.” Sirius and Remus go down to Harry’s room and lay him in his crib.

“Night Harry,” they both chorus, turning off the lights. They walk out into the bright hall and close the door. They both stand there with huge grins on their faces, inches apart. Sirius moves a little closer to Remus.

“This was fun, wasn’t it Moony?” Remus nods his head enthusiastically.

“You know what would be more fun?” Sirius whispers in his ear. Remus knows exactly where this is heading and closes his eyes and leans in.

Their faces are inches apart when they’re interrupted by a loud cry. They spring apart and open the door to Harry’s room, where Harry is sitting upright, crying.

“So much for a perfect night,” Remus whispers. They take the baby out of his crib, trying to rock him to sleep. No matter how many times they try, he keeps crying.

“Sirius,” Remus says with a yawn. “This isn’t going to work. We have to try something else.

“Like what?” Remus looks around the room for clues on what they should do. His eyes then settle on a stuff animal of a black dog.

“I know what you can do,” Remus says, his gaze never leaving the toy.

“Oh no. You did not–” Remus nods his head.

“Alright fine. Take the baby.” Remus does and sits down on the floor with Harry in his lap. They both look at Sirius with interest, even though Remus has seen Sirius change thousands of times. But something about the act of doing so was just… beautiful.

In a fluid motion, black hair started to sprout around his body and his nose lengthened into a snout. He started to shrink, getting down on all fours, until all that was there was a black dog with it’s tail wagging. Harry climbed out of Remus’ arms, no longer crying, to the black dog on front of him. He touched the feather soft fur that Remus knew like the back of his hand with interest. He then wraps his arms around Sirius’ neck, hugging him close.

“Pafoo,” he says, nuzzling his face into Sirius’ fur. Sirius’ tail thumps on the ground slowly in a rhythmic beat. They both end up laying down, Sirius’ warm fur wrapped around the baby, who falls asleep to the steady thump, thump of Sirius’ tail. Remus stands up when he thinks they’re both asleep, but Sirius’ eyes open.

He looks at Remus with a look that is almost daring, but holds a plea. A plea to stay. Remus rolls his eyes and obliges, laying down on the floor, his head resting on Sirius’ stomach. He pets him right in between the ears, right where he likes it. Sirius’ take thumps a little faster and he gives a little sigh. They all fall asleep like that. Remus’ head lying on Sirius’s stomach with Sirius’ body curved around Harry. They fall asleep perfectly. The best ending anyone can dream for.

—-

In the morning, Lily and James find them like they where the night before. Sirius still a dog and both Remus and Harry are clutching him tight. They turn on the light and Remus bolts up, causing Sirius to stir. Sirius maneuvers Harry off of him and then changed back into a normal person, looking at James and Lily with a smile.

“Well… he’s all in one piece. I say that’s a job well done,” Sirius says, stretching out his sore muscles.

“Thank you so much,” Lily says. Remus and Sirius both say that it was no problem and to call them if they ever need a babysitter. James then ushers them out the door. Before Sirius leaves, James whispers something in his ear.

“So…. did you two do any anything last night?” James says, waggling his eyebrows. Sirius smacks him upside the head.

“Bye Padfoot! Bye Moony!” James calls cheerfully, closing the door.

“What was that about?” Remus asks, nodding his head at the house.

“Just James being James,” Sirius says with a sigh.

“Yeah…” They walk down the steps to Sirius’ bike. Subconsciously, they hold hands, nimble fingers intertwining with scarred ones. In the house, Lily pays James twenty pounds with a roll of her eyes.

Suddenly, Remus stops and Sirius is pulled back as well, almost falling on Remus. It wasn’t really gracefully done, but all of the emotions where still conveyed as Remus closed his eyes, pressing his lips to Sirius’. Sirius reached up and grabbed both sides of Remus’ face, making him lean lower to meet him. They burn like a raging inferno, and Lily pays James another twenty pounds.