well done champ

BTS as a family

Request: ‘ bts as 1 big family? I know u get the stuff w/ jin as the mom all the time but I wanna c what u think their roles are’

Headcanon Masterlist

Thanks for requesting! Check out my other HCs in the link above!


Rap Monster / Namjoon

Originally posted by bangtannoonas

  • The Older Brother 
  • Joon
  • who thinks he can act like the father figure when dad is away, 
  • but really, it’s them who need to protect him
  • Somehow has more accidents than his dongsaengs
  • But he’s a really good tutor
  • So dad doesn’t have to always help with the kids’ homework
  • encourages Taehyung 
  • every time he thinks he’s found his dream occupation
  • even though it changes like 8473299 times a week
  • has a soft spot for the mysterious child that is Jeongguk
  • House is getting cramped
  • but they can share a room
  • Lets anyone share a bed with him if they’ve had a nightmare
  • cuddle monster
  • baby sits occasionally
  • plays peekaboo with the tots
  • and it’s all nice and fun
  • until he covers his eyes one minute
  • and then HOLY CRAP WHERE HAS THE CHILD GONE
  • has to fish Taehyung down from a shelf
  • and pull Jimin out of the fridge
  • then Jeongguk’s crying because he’s due a nappy change
  • and then holy fuck why do safety pins exist when they make your finger bleed?
  • thinks his brothers are some sort of curse on him for a solid year
  • because the accidents only happen when they’re around
  • but then catches dad burning his hand on the stove like
  • oh
  • probably shouldn’t have held those rituals to rid the curse
  • has to study at friend’s houses a lot though
  • so he’s not always at home
  • very independent as a result
  • because as much as he loves his brothers
  • they get so goddamn noisy
  • I guess that’s why they can come sleep in his room
  • because many study nights turn into sleep overs
  • probably only sleeps in his own bed about 3 days a week during high school years
  • the most trustworthy child

Jin /Seokjin

Originally posted by jungkookiescookies

  • The single parent
  • with A LOT on his hands!
  • Don’t ask how he acquired so many children
  • He just did
  • “You’re adopted!”
  • when one of his kids just won’t shut the f*ck up!
  • But then goes soft when they cry
  • Even though it was their own stupid fault
  • “Goddammit, I suppose I should take you out shopping or something then”
  • Still puts notes in the kids packed lunches
  • he has to be both parents 
  • but somehow to the kids, it feels like he’s three or four parents 
  • because he puts in 150-200% effort in everyday
  • Gets distressed at every milestone
  • he doesn’t want them to grow up
  • Starts crying in the middle of the clothes store
  • because he was only here last week
  • for the same child
  • how tf did Tae go up 2 shoe sizes this week?
  • why do Jeongguk’s shirts keep tearing so easily?
  • when did Jimin’s voice break?!
  • no recollection of Namjoon being a child, help
  • Slipping Through My Fingers by ABBA on repeat
  • He does have a tendency to over do the whole protective thing
  • there’s going to be a lesson to be learned from this
  • but I’m just going to tell it to you now 
  • so you don’t have to go through all that upset and heart-break
  • but he gets some help along the way to let go a little
  • “Seokjin, why does Taehyung’s wallpaper now have a… rubbery theme to it?”
  • “Harry Potter is a bad influence and I will not have my baby having five thousand head injuries!”
  • “Jin, I know the kid can do some dumb things, but do you honestly think he’s going to try that many times?”
  • Makes the other parents jealous 
  • he doesn’t mean to though
  • he can’t help if he invites the kids’ friends round for tea, that his cooking happens to be better….
  • the other half of the parents of the kids at school however are single and all have a thing for him
  • Will buy everything his child needs for a project
  • perhaps a bit gullible at times
  • “a skateboard?”
  • “for science. gravity.”
  • “oh, okay”
  • Waves with a little hanky when the kids go on school trips
  • “have you got your bag?”
  • “have you got the lunch I packed you?”
  • “Yes dad, all 6 boxes of it”
  • Has some quirks that he won’t admit he has
  • or that the kids have picked up from him
  • “Why does Jeongguk make racing car sounds when he runs still?”
  • *shrugs*
  • “I have no idea”
  • *goes to put something on the shelf making a swanee whistle sound*
  • “Why does Taehyung still believe in unicorns?”
  • “Shut up! They’re totally real!”
  • Cliches
  • eat your crusts to get stronger
  • carrots to see in the dark
  • beauty sleep
  • the early bird gets the worm
  • *goddammit now the kids are waking up at 5am to take all the contents of the fridge*
  • err, too much chocolate milk makes you sad
  • “but it tastes so good Dad!”
  • “Goddammit children we should be endorsed for chocolate milk!!!”
  • Wants to hear all about your day
  • “Dad, I’m 27 now”
  • “I don’t care Namjoon. Tell me about your day.”
  • “Daaaad”
  • “and I made you hot chocolate and cookie, come snuggle on the couch with me”
  • Family photos at xmas with matching sweaters
  • From the
  • “Look at this piece of art that Jeonggukkie made for me today!”
  • *sticks it on the fridge but it’s made of pasta and lolly sticks so it keeps sliding down*
  • to the
  • “Oh my life my ChimChim has graduated uni!”
  • even the
  • “You just burped the alphabet? My son is so talented!”
  • “You made a rap about breakfast? Genius!”
  • Everything the kids do is amazing and a big achievement

Suga / Yoongi

Originally posted by yoongiyi

  • Grandad by blood to one of the kids
  • Pop-pops to all the kids anyways
  • No one is quite sure which kid is his grandchild though
  • Tbh he’s just here for some peace and quiet
  • (Chance would be a fine thing though…)
  • Owns that one chair in the living area
  • over the years, the general room design and furniture cahnges
  • but that chair stays
  • Just watches the kids do stupid shit
  • Guk’s about to put a crayon up his nose
  • and Tae is about to walk through a wall
  • but he ain’t gonna stop them
  • “Let the idiots learn from their own mistakes”
  • *crash!* *bang!* 
  • *crying*
  • “You raised morons.”
  • Makes less gestures 
  • but when he does, they’re huge
  • kinda like how some people pay for things weekly, and some monthly
  • One of the few grandparents that doesn’t constantly share their war stories
  • he just shares his own experiences when relevant
  • Though Taehyung is always asking for him to tell another story
  • “Tae, it’s 10pm”
  • “Just one more story pop-pops, please?”
  • He has more impact on the kids than he realizes
  • they adore him so much
  • and he wonders why the parents that helped create these kids don’t want to be around to raise them with Jin
  • but he wouldn’t have this family any other way
  • Gives the most heart-warming, tear-jerking toasts
  • everyone thought they were gonna cry at Jimin’s wedding because of the vows and love is beautiful and all the rest
  • but instead, everyone ends up being lame for the story of how pop-pops met his one true love
  • and the ending makes you emo for weeks
  • No one quite knows why he acts so indifferent
  • because he has such soft stories
  • Namjoon wonders for a while in his childhood
  • and then when he’s grown up
  • one day when he’s no longer living at home and drops in to say hello
  • Pop-pops is in his chair
  • watching the kids shooting each other with nerf guns
  • whites socks sliding on the kitchen lino
  • and sound effects
  • and then Namjoon sees it;
  • Pop-pops likes to just watch the kids progress day by day
  • watching them learn from their mistakes
  • watching them develop as people
  • that’s why he’d never step in when there was a recipe for disaster about to happen
  • He encourages Jin 
  • to make sure they grow up into well-rounded people
  • rather than put them in bubblewrap
  • and he couldn’t have done a better job.

J-Hope / Hoseok

Originally posted by gotjhope

  • That cool uncle
  • Uncle Hobi
  • That everyone adores, especially the youngest 
  • because he comes back with a gift every visit
  • Puts up with a lot of shit from the younger kids
  • because he can go home at the end of the day
  • Proudest uncle in the world
  • goes to all the kids events with Jin
  • although it’s a problem when he’s watching a match and two of the kids are on opposite teams like
  • “go on you reds! you can do i—”
  • “oh nice tackle blues! sock it to them!”
  • “I love both teams!”
  • all the other adults are confused
  • “Everyone’s a winner; go purple!!!”
  • Owns so much cool stuff
  • sometimes the kids sleep round at his
  • they’re fighting over the arcade machine
  • challenging each other to snooker or darts matches
  • arguing about the artwork on the wall
  • uncle hobi just smiles
  • Takes them out every weekend
  • so many fond memories
  • Spends all his money on the kids
  • there’s that one game Jeongguk’s not so good at at the arcade
  • but he’s addicted to it
  • so cool uncle hobi keeps giving him quarters
  • *2 days later”
  • “Look! Uncle Hobi! I finally won!”
  • “Well done, champ!”
  • Yeah, and it only cost him 200 dollars…
  • and guess who feeds Taehyung’s taste for Gucci?
  • or rather, guess who started it?
  • Jimin doesn’t ask for much
  • but uncle Hobi is always showering him with gift baskets when the others aren’t around
  • Namjoon sometimes joins them on their little outings
  • and he tells uncle Hobi all about the the new things he’s learned in school
  • and then Hobi find himself writing a cheque mid conversation
  • “Uh, Uncle Hobi, what are you doing?”
  • “Just take my money and go change the world!!”
  • It’s impossible to be prouder than Jin
  • but he’s pretty close

Jimin 

Originally posted by urnotnamjoon

  • The middle brother
  • Chim
  • Who gets to order Tae and Guk around
  • as they get older, he’ll double dare them to some stupid shit
  • and they’ll do it
  • Younger brothers are just there for his amusement.
  • It’s the only reason they were born 
  • Like remember that one time it was snowing and he triple dared them to lick that frozen pole…?…
  • Takes more influence from pop-pops than he realizes
  • “It’s not my fault they were stupid enough to do it”
  • Doesn’t like it when Jungkook grows up
  • Yesterday, he was at Jimin’s shoulder level
  • but today, Jungkook is patting his head 
  • Probably because of all those times Jungkook took the last of the chocolate milk
  • “JEON JUNGKOOK!!!”
  • and
  • “Stop copying me Jeongguk; I did it first!”
  • but nawh, he does adore the youngest bro
  • back up older brother
  • you know that mem
  • the one where it’s like
  • *someone is sad*
  • and then
  • Jimin: [that picture of him peaking round the corner being a cute lil mochi]
  • He’s mostly like that for Tae
  • but when Joon leaves home
  • he’s there for Guk too in this way
  • He’s a good listener
  • which he gets from Dad Jin and brother Joon
  • bonds more with Tae as time goes by
  • mainly because the other brothers move out first
  • Falls for the best friend of the girl Taehyung is dating
  • oh look at that, it turns out she’s his soulmate
  • double dates with his bro
  • embarrassing childhood stories
  • but the girls just find it charming, really
  • so many family get together events because of these two brothers alone
  • 21st birthday parties
  • they could have had a combined celebration
  • but why do that when you can have twice the fun?
  • Taehyung’s friends are Jimin’s friends
  • and vice versa
  • Jin watches them on movie night from the kitchen for a moment being proud
  • and then makes them extra popcorn
  • “Dad, we’ll get fat!”
  • “Good; I like my children to have chubby cheeks”
  • what other life events? oh yeah
  • engagement parties
  • weddings
  • emotional toasts 
  • about how they’ve gotten closer these recent years
  • followed by a baby story
  • “Tae, I can’t believe you told them that!”
  • “What? You showed everyone my baby pictures at my last birthday party!”
  • It’s kinda weird when Jimin and Taehyung fall out
  • because when they fall out
  • it’s not even a proper argument
  • like they don’t even know how to argue
  • “Dammit Jimin! Did you have to dress better than me tonight?!… Like seriously, where did you get that sweater?”
  • “Kim Taehyung! Did you steal that hair dye I bought?!… Oh wait never mind, that really suits you”
  • Secrets that make them even closer
  • they don’t always like to burden Dad
  • so they tell each other instead
  • Tae helps Jimin come out of his shell
  • and in return, Jimin helps Taehyung understand people better
  • Very capable of living independent lives
  • but feel empty without one another for too long

V / Taehyung

Originally posted by kimthwriter

  • That child you cannot leave alone for 2 seconds
  • Bwi / TaeTae as a child, then
  • Tae as he gets older
  • “Okay, Tae Tae, I’m just going upstairs for something, so don’t touch anything”
  • “WTF KIM TAEHYUNG WHY AND HOW IS THE FRIDGE ON FIRE!?!”
  • Gets ice cream all over his face after one lick
  • Takes ‘the floor is lava’ game very seriously
  • creates the most laundry for Jin to do
  • because he’s always climbing and skidding 
  • and just being a boy really
  • Wants to pet everything, and
  • Wants a pet everything
  • “Dad! Can we get a dog?”
  • “How about a bunny?”
  • “How about a unicorn?”
  • “…Unicorns don’t exist Tae; they’re made up”
  • “Shut up! They’re totally real!”
  • (Like father, like son…)
  • Usually a carrier when there’s illness going round at school
  • “Look TaeTae, I know you don’t feel ill, but just be careful not to…”
  • *Tae sneezes really loudly without covering his face*
  • Lives for bedtime stories
  • loves fairytales
  • but comes to love underrated literature even more
  • so he really appreciates where those tales derived from
  • like old folklores and myths, etc
  • but also the more modern pieces that follow
  • and he knows all the pre-Brothers Grimm versions
  • but still somehow remains pure
  • santa is always real, no matter what you tell him
  • and the tooth fairy
  • and the easter bunny
  • Everyone knows Taehyung is a unique child
  • he just has a different perspective to most of the children
  • no one knows where it came from 
  • and not even Jin can credit himself for that
  • and he’s either going to grow up to be really smart
  • or a solitary eccentric
  • Has like a million teddy bears
  • they all get equal cuddles
  • one for each day of the week month year
  • Wants to try everything when he grows up
  • “Daddy, I want to be a surgeon!”
  • and it’s like a new occupation each day
  • “Lawyer!”
  • “Archaeologist!”
  • “Dentist!”
  • you never knew there were so many jobs in the world
  • “Shoplifter!”
  • “Shoplifter? What? Tae, you can’t steal things!”
  • Looking back, you wouldn’t believe that stupid shit came out of his mouth
  • he grows up so intelligent
  • and becomes a writer for children’s books
  • Defends any family member no matter what
  • even if there’s a chance they’re in the wrong
  • but that don’t matter because they’ve raised him so right
  • Jin cries when he leaves home because he’s raised
  • husband material
  • Ends up extending the family by 60%
  • adorable little puppies for children
  • and then adorable children as cute as puppies
  • and because he’s forever a child by spirit
  • he raises them to believe and be happy and have a little faith
  • It’s so hard to pick godparents
  • but he picks Jimin eventually
  • Fathers of a new generation of kids
  • Wow, they grow up so fast

Jungkook

Originally posted by eolljjung

  • Another child that needs constant supervision
  • ‘Guk / Jeonggukie / Gukkie
  • Puts everything in his mouth
  • “No Jeonggukie! You can’t eat uncle Hobi!”
  • With baby Bwi he’s a 
  • LITTLE MONSTER
  • Not even sure he’s Jin’s kid
  • or just a friend Bwi brought into the house one day
  • No one realizes until he’s like 11 years old
  • that he’s one of Pop-pops’ grandkids
  • “How could you not tell us something like that Yoongs?”
  • “What? You never asked…
  • “…also, he’s a moron”
  • but pop-pop Yoongs doesn’t mean it
  • He just doesn’t want to give Jungkook special treatment
  • back to Guk
  • Gets way too hyper before his teens 
  • then one day Jin is the garage trying to fix the car and Jeongguk won’t leave him alone
  • and in a panic he sees some weights like
  • “Here have a go on these”
  • and that’s why Jeongguk grows up to be a 
  • muscle pig
  • becomes stronger than all his older siblings 
  • they actually get low key scared of him in adulthood
  • also becomes like really good at fixing stuff
  • so when Namjoon moves out
  • Guk follows not long after to share an apartment with him
  • and it saves a bit of money on repairs
  • so it’s kinda cute
  • because in childhood, Namjoon would fix Gukkie’s broken heart with his wisdom and wise advice
  • and in adulthood, Jeongguk fixes Namjoon’s broken furniture with his more practical skills
  • Won’t admit it but
  • copies Jimin
  • on purpose
  • but like I say, he won’t admit it
  • “Jeongguk!! I had muscles first!”
  • “Whaaat?” 
  • *crushes a walnut with his bare fist*
  • he just smiles
  • because he’s finally as strong as his great older bro
  • Gathers a lot of hobbies and interests
  • he has something he can share with each family member
  • If he wants to talk about something, all he has to do is
  • ask Jimin if he wants a video game night or
  • ask Dad to bake Gukkie Cookies with him or
  • sorry
  • ask Tae to meet at the book store or
  • ask Joon for an anime marathon or
  • ask uncle Hobi to come bowling or
  • ask pop-pops if he’s interested in a spot of golf
  • fortunately, he doesn’t even have to say something’s up
  • everyone knows that’s his go to move if he needs advice
  • Some people would say that all the things he has are down to luck
  • but he knows he wouldn’t be where he is without his family
  • and that’s the lucky part
The Signs as Pop Punk Bands
  • Aries: Man Overboard
  • Taurus: Real Friends
  • Gemini: Modern Baseball
  • Cancer: Citizen
  • Leo: The Wonder Years
  • Virgo: Neck Deep
  • Libra: State Champs
  • Scorpio: Seaway
  • Sagittarius: The Story So Far
  • Capricorn: Knuckle Puck
  • Aquarius: Moose Blood
  • Pisces: La Dispute

congratulations! it’s friday and you are still alive and functioning. job well done, champ.

now go buy yourself some flowers and wine. take care of yourself.