well done buddy!


I woulda given you the news but, y’know, you kinda made it clear you didn’t want to hear from me, so . . . 


“Jes, I’ve thought about this—“
"Thought of me? Late at night? What was I wearing?”
“I’ve thought about your powers,” Wylan said, cheeks flushing pinker.

                                           ♡ happy birthday @daenerysjon

When we realised we were horrible people...

We stumbled on a sleeping (enemy) Minotaur and our sorcerer decided to charm it, so we could get him to assist in fighting through the dungeon and so he wouldn’t kill us.

Our horrifically violent shunned Gnome monk decided we could eat him if that didn’t work out.

3 dungeon rooms in, I suddenly name him Mike, as he’s helped us and is now injured in the line of duty.

Cleric: “Should I heal Mike?”
Group: “Uhh…”
*DM rolls dice, looks up and grins silently*
Me (woodland based druid): “I think Mike is becoming slightly, uhh…disenchanted(?) with us.”
Sorcerer: “I pat Mike on the shoulder, say ‘Good fight buddy, thanks!’…then cast shocking grasp”
DM: “He’s stunned.”
Ranger: “I’m going to put him out of his misery before he kills us. I’ll roll to slit his throat.”
*rolls nat20, doing 48 damage*
DM: “You completely sever his head. Well done, you killed your buddy, Mike.”
Me: “A moment of silence for Mike’s friendship and sacrifice.”
*Silence, some giggling*
Gnome Monk: “Did the electrocution cook him, at all?”
Me: “Don’t be so dishonourable, he’s barely fallen to the floor! I’ll pour one out for you, Mike.”
Me:“Wait, can we use Mike’s skull as a helmet for Goat*?!”

*Goat is a…well, super healed goat with slightly vague supernatural intelligence and a full set of armour. This is what happened when you have the rule “If you can make the story good enough, you can do it.”

Dream boat

Part 4:
Shiro kept running until he reached a wall of palm trees that he hadn’t previously been aware of. He didn’t question why the bark was the colour of ash or where this seemingly large Forrest came from.
Trees meant cover, and that was something they needed desperately.
Shiro weaved throughout the trees as the creaking sounds became quieter as he enlarged the distance between them and the things.
By time they came to a small clearing Shiro was gasping for breath and it had seemed that for now at least they were safe. He slowly slid down the tree he was leaning against until he was sitting on the sandy floor wincing when his back came in contact with the rough bark.
He knew he need to treat his wounds, but first things first.
Shiro looked down at the quivering bundle in his arms, his sobs quiet but desperate.
“Hey Lance it’s ok.” He tried yo run his hand through the boys hair only for him to flinch away and bury himself further into Shiro’s chest.
Shiro sighed “I’m sorry”
At this Lance looked up slightly. His blue eyes red and swollen from so much crying.
“I’m no good with making people feel better. I’m too used to soldiers that sometimes I forget some aren’t and can’t always handle what’s going on. I can’t stop Hunks anxiety , Keith’s rage, Pidge’s grief…I didn’t even ask if Lance was ok. My friend Lance. He always puts on this happy face, always watching out for others, but I could it was an act. That he hurting just as much as everyone else. But I kept telling myself that he’s a soldier, and as long as he can keep going and keep the others moving that his feelings don’t matter. That’s the job of a soldier after all.”
Again Shiro stroked Lance’s hair allowing himself a small smile at his the boy moved towards his touch this time.
“He’d know how to make you feel better. He’s amazing in that way I guess. He always know what to say to cheer someone up. Something I could never do. I just wish I had taken a moment tell him that. To tell him just how irreplaceable he truly is not just as a paladin but also as friend.”
Lance sniffed lifting his head properly. “Why don’t you tell him?” He asked so quietly his voice was almost lost by the howling wind and relentless rain.
“Everyone else problems tend to scream in you face… I guess he just got lost in the noise.” Shiro admitted shamefully.
“That happens to me as well. I have five older sisters and one brother, they all are so noisy that mama sometimes forgets I’m there and forgets to give me dinner or tell me when their going on a family walk.” Lance looked around like he expected his mother to materialise and tell his off. “But I’m not supposed to tell anyone because Mama could get in trouble.” He whispered.
Shiro felt his heart clench. How the boy admitted to being over looked and forgotten it reminded him of how he treated his Lance. How he often ignored him in favour of helping another team member out.
“I promise I won’t tell anyone.”
“Really?” Lance asked with guarded eyes.
Shiro held out his little finger “really.”
Lance smiled slightly wrapping his tiny finger around Shiro’s much larger one.
“Ok then I trust you.”
“Dying what do you mean!” Allura asked alarmed.
“Well you see Shiro must be making some head way.” Corran explained looking down at Lance who seemed to be sleeping a little more peacefully, his brow less creased in pain and his whimpers quieter. “The spell is trying to get rid of Shiro because he’s making progress towards waking Lance up. The closer he gets.”
“The greater the danger to Shiro.” Allura sighed running a hand through Shiro’s hair. His heart rate had spiked alarmingly high but since then had thankfully dropped down to normal.
“All we can do is wait and pray that Shiro can get through to Lance before the spell gets to Shiro” Corran frowned wishing that it were as simple as Allura had put it.
Shiro hissed in pain. With the adrenaline quickly leaving his system, the pain was hitting him full force.
He wished he was in his paladin armour. It may of protected him from the blow, and the belt was stocked with better first aid then what he carried in his normal clothes.
“Did one of the monsters get you?” Lance asked.
Shiro was about to answer no when Lance crawled out of his arms going round to his back. The sharp intake of breath told him just how bad it was.
“Lance don’t loo-”
“I need disinfectant, a needle, thread and some bandages.” The boy stated simply like it were the most normal request in the world. Fumbling for a moment Shiro handed over his kit and without hesitation Lance began to tend to his wound with a disturbing amount of professionalism.
“How?” Shiro found was the only thing he could say.
“My brother would sometimes come home with injuries. He couldn’t tell mama because he got them fighting in this club to get extra money. So he taught me so I could take care of the ones he couldn’t reach. One time he came came with knife marks all over his back and I had to see them up.”
Shiro swallowed the lump in his throat as Lance cleaned and patched up his wounds. It just sounded so wrong hearing a little kid taking about serious injuries so casually.
After a few minutes Lance had put a layer of gauze on the wounds and hopped done with a chipper “done.”
He sounded so proud of himself that Shiro found himself smiling despite the pain. “Well done buddy, your amazing.”
Lance beamed at the praise.
However their happy moment was short lived as the forest suddenly burst into flames around them and the creatures appeared through the smoke having the two completely surrounded.

Blue Soda Water?

(warning: long story)

Working as a bouncer in a quiet gaming room tonight whilst struggling with my fifth day of being off cigarettes so I’m pretty edgy. A young hipster chick comes up to the bar and asks me;

what goes with a Liquorice liqueur?

I’m a Single Malt Scotch man, so I’m not too sure. I reply with,

‘Not sure, when in doubt try soda water I suppose.’

She then turns around and orders a pint of the cheapest beer for her equally cheap looking friend, and a soda water. at this point I’m thinking to myself, nah, she can’t be THAT stupid! Well sure enough, her friend with the beer goes to the table whilst Soda Hipster (Man, I gotta trade mark that, good indie band name) goes directly to the toilets, returning a minute later with that murky blue Soda Water / Black Sambuca combo.

How stupid do you think I am girl, really?

So, I hover close enough to glean snippets of the conversation they were having; plans of where to go from there, involving going to get refills at the bottle shop and hitting a club, both of which are nearby, and happen to be guarded by good friends of mine in the Security Industry. I duck into the adjacent smoking room and snap a pic of them, plan forming.

I then 'clean up’ around their table, when I accidentally (air quotes) bump her drink, sending it flying over her white cloth bag and phone. I immediately apologise, and offer a replacement. Part one in action.

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Imagine: You and Kylo introducing your son to General Hux

Requested By: Anon

Originally posted by sterkiller

“Daddy!” Your son ran up to Kylo excitedly as he entered the meeting room. 

“Oliver I told you not to bother Daddy when he’s working!” You scolded as you trailed in behind him.  

Kylo looked up from his conversation with Hux and quickly removed his helmet before he caught your son in his arms.

“What are you both doing here?” He asked, visibly relieved that someone had interrupted his conversation with the General.

You walked towards the table in the centre of the room and gave your husband an apologetic look, “Someone decided to run away from me to come and visit you.”

Kylo kissed Oliver’s cheek, “Have you been giving your mother trouble?”

“No,” he giggled in response.

Hux cleared his throat and you all turned to him, suddenly remembering that he was also in the room.

Kylo sighed, “Oliver, this is General Hux,” he gestured towards the man. Oliver stayed silent as Hux looked at him confusedly. 

“Go on then, darling, say hello,” you urged your son.

He shook his head, “I don’t like that man.”

“Oliver, you haven’t met General Hux before,” you whispered harshly.

“But Daddy said General Hux is an idiot!” He announced, crossing his arms.

Hux scowled as Kylo did his best to hide a smirk.

Your eyes widened in surprise, “Alright, young man, I think it’s time we let Daddy and the General get back to their work.”

Kylo quickly gave you a reassuring look. You knew how he felt about the General, but you didn’t expect him to be passing on those sentiments to your child. Especially not when he was only four years old. He stood up with Oliver still in his arms and walked you both to the door.

“Well done, buddy,” Kylo said quietly to Oliver before setting him down.

“I heard that Ren,” Hux snapped.

You heard a low chuckle from beneath Kylo’s helmet as you quickly ushered your son out of the room.  

14:01: Did you do good today? How are you? Is it raining? I miss you.

15:32: It’s strange, whenever I go to the bathroom, I can smell you between my thighs.

15:34: Is that normal? How am I supposed to get over something when you are everywhere with it?

17:15: Mum asked where the mark on my throat came from and I had to tell her I bumped into a door. I am not sure she bought it, you sick fuck.

17:17: I don’t mind, honestly. I keep running my fingers over the skin there and it hurts and it feels warm at the same time and I kinda never want it to fade.

20:43: God, it’s the aching kind of missing. I think I’m in mourning for you.

20:43: Do you? I dunno, think about me or something? I hope you’re okay. I hope tender things are kissing your knuckles.

20:45: Speaking of aches, you sure did a number on me. I can feel you everywhere. Well done, buddy.

21:05: I wish that someone had told me that you can’t use love to fix everything. Isn’t that awful? Someone should put that in the children’s books.

22:57: It’s just that two nights ago we were twisted around each other at this time and I can’t get it out of my head. I want to always be naked with you. I want to kiss you until my heart is sore.

00:09: Goodnight, I don’t know how to say this, I want the empty space in your bed to hurt you. I love you, I love you.

—  Azra.T “Texts I never sent" 

This is the second part to “Hidden Truth”, I’m posting it now because I am leaving tonight to celebrate Christmas with my family until tomorrow night, so I won’t be able to post. I decided I wouldn’t make you wait on this one and give you the second part immediatly since there will be no imagines tomorrow! I wish you all an early merry Christmas! You have probably been the best thing that happened to me this year, including Joe and the buttercream squad. Thank you for all your love xx

Part 2 of Hidden Truth


It had been now over a week since I’ve been staying at Joe’s house. He had been an absolute sweetheart to me, I mean, he always have but ever since I showed up at his house in tears,he was treating me like a princess and it meant the world to me. I had to admit that for the past few months, where things were completely out of control with Tyler and I only developed hate towards him, I’ve felt something I’ve never felt before. Maybe something called love towards my best friend and it was scaring me to death because whenever our hands would accidentally touch, I would feel shivers all over my body. And this never happened with Tyler or anyone else before. 

As I was sitting on a chair next to the pool watching my friends having their own fun and hearing their beautiful laughs, I was writing in what teenagers would have called a diary but it was not exactly that. After he broke my heart,I began writing a lot. I wrote and wrote and I’ve described him as a hurricane, a drug. Now that I’ve started to move on,I don’t see him that way anymore. He wasn’t anything above ordinary,he was just a boy. A boy who abused my kindness and love and that was that. 

My upper body was covered with one of Joe’s sweatshirt that I bought him a long while ago and I wore a short since the bruises on my legs were all gone unlike the ones on my stomach,arms and back. That was the secret I haven’t told anyone. I haven’t seen my brothers in a while and I missed them a lot but if they knew that I’ve been hit and abused by Tyler since the last 4 months, they would lose their minds.


Oli and I were fighting in the pool and laughing like crazy as Caspar was vlogging us. I looked over to see Y/N  standing next to the pool, writing something. I noticed her outfit and I couldn’t understand why the hell she was wearing a sweatshirt when it was 40°© outside. I took a minute to admire her beauty. She was so focused on her writing. She had her hair in a messy bun and it was my favourite haircut of hers. I had to admit that having her around for the past week was amazing. Having the company of your best friend felt great, plus I could easily picture the two of us living in the house for the rest of my life. 

I felt Caspar hit me in the arm and I break out from my stare. “When are you going to make a move on her? Look at you,staring at her like a creepy stalker.” Caspar exclaimed and they both laughed. “Shut up.” I rolled my eyes and made my way towards her,swimming. I threw a bit of water towards her and she stopped writing. “Hey!” She whined with a smile. Oh my god, her smile made me bubble up on the inside. “Come on and join us. It’s like boiling hot, right now.” I laughed and her expression completely changed, she just looked down, not glancing at me or even giving me a small smile. She got up. “I’m fine,I’m just,um, going to get something to drink.” She said and walked off quickly into the house. I frowned at her reaction. Something was wrong. “Well done,buddy.” Oli said and they laughed. 

I just ignored them and got out of the pool. I noticed that there wasn’t any towel. I made my way towards the glass door and Y/N stood there. “Would you mind giving me a towel?” I gently asked and she smiled and bend down to the couch to take the towel. As she bend down,my eyes got wide as I noticed something that looked like a bruise on the small of her back. I felt myself filled with worry and anger. I truly hoped it wasn’t what I thought it was. “What’s that on your back?” I asked,frowning and her face turned pale. “There’s nothing on my back.” She answered but her voice cracked and I knew her all too well, she was nervous. She handed me the towel and I put it around my shoulders. She was about to leave but I grabbed her wrist. “Please, don’t lie to me.” I said dryly, still holding her arm. “Joe,it’s nothing.” She said, her eyes not meeting mine and I knew she was lying when she avoided my glance. I let her go and she walked towards the couch. “Y/N, please.” I said, still staring at her upper body. “I’m not lying to you.” She almost yelled at me and I couldn’t stand her lying like that. 

I quickly walked towards her and pulled up the jumper she was wearing. She tried to stop me but she knew I was a lot stronger and I felt my heart shrink as my eyes felt on the marks on her stomach. “What the bloody hell is this?” I snapped at her and I was sure that the boys heard but I didn’t even care. She took a step back by surprise and I could see that she was panicking but I was so pissed. I took a deep breath trying to calm myself down and got closer to her slowly. “Take it off.” I ordered and she wasn’t saying anything. She just looked down. I knew she was wearing her swimsuit,I could see the lace of it on the back of her neck. “Joe-” She tried to speak but I cut her off. “Just take it off.” I snapped again and she just sighed and pulled the jumper off. My jaw dropped as I saw more and more bruises on her arms and her back. I could feel the blood getting hot through my veins from anger and shock. As my eyes examined her body, she made a step back. “Who did that to you?” I asked in a softer voice even though I wanted to scream at her for not telling me. She kept looking down and it was getting on my last nerve. “Y/N, look at me and tell me who the hell did that to you?” I snapped and she suddenly looked up to me and when our glances met, I swear I could read her mind. “It’s him,isn’t it? It’s this fucking prick?” I snapped again and she nodded. I just let my hands go above my head and I was so fucking pissed. Not at her but at him. “How long has he been hitting you?” I asked, not yelling this time. “4 months.” She answered and her voice cracked. “Why didn’t you tell me? I would have kicked his ass!” I snapped again and it seemed like it was all I could do. “Why? Am I not supposed to be your best friend? We’ve known each other for years! How could you not tell me about this?” I yelled and it was clear that my words were hurting her but that’s not what I wanted. She didn’t answer, she just kept looking at me. I could see some tears coming out of her eyes and I felt bad for reacting this way.

I sighed and got closer. “I’m sorry. It’s just..pissing me off.” I said, accentuating the word ‘pissing’. “Because I love you.” She whispered and I frowned. “What?” I whispered back and our glances met again. “I didn’t tell you because I love you.” She said with tears streaming down on her face just as fast as they were the day she showed up at my door. “That’s also why you’re the first person I went to when I ran away from his flat.” And this time I was the one being quiet. My anger suddenly took off and my heart started to race. “And that’s also why I lied to you about what happened. I didn’t want you to freak out like you just did.” She managed to say between her tears. Even when she cries she’s beautiful. I felt like my heart was going to explode. “It’s because I’m in love with you.” She said and my heart skipped a beat. She loved me too. I’ve never felt such an amazing and overwhelming feeling. I was still so pissed and shocked and freaked out about what I just found out but her words were soothing. She suddenly wrapped her arms around my chest and I was afraid to touch her just like she was made of glass but I slowly wrapped my arms around her as well. I sighed and kissed her forehead. “I love you too.” I whispered and her head looked up to me with a small smile. I smiled as well and I was just about to lean in when I heard the guys coming in and we both pulled away from our embrace.


{Later that day ; 10:30pm}

After Joe ‘invited’ my brothers over and I explained everything to them and our friends, I sat outside on the couch that Joe had put here. Conor was absolutely freaking out about Tyler, he wanted to beat the crap out of him when Jack was more concerned about how I was feeling and about the bruises. They all wanted me to go to the hospital but I didn’t. All I wanted was to forget about everything and just spend time with the people I love. I held a blanket over my shoulders because it was a bit cold at night. 

I suddenly heard someone joining me. I looked up and saw Joe smiling. He was wearing the jumper I borrowed to hide the bruises this afternoon. He sat down next to me. “Are you okay?” He nicely asked and I nodded. “Yeah. I’m just thinking.” I answered and flashed him a smile. “I’m sorry about earlier.” He said and looked down. I frowned,looking at him. “For what?” I asked and he sighed. “Yelling at you.” He answered, looking up to meet my eyes. “It’s fine. You don’t have to be sorry, Joe.” I admitted and he just shook his head. “Of course, I have to.” He said and smiled. 

He stared at me for a minute and I frowned with a smirk. “What are you looking at?” I asked and his eyes met mine again. “Just you.” He said and couldn’t keep his eyes off my face. His answer made me blush. “You’re so beautiful, Y/N.” He said and leaned in slowly,looking between my lips and eyes. “And I am so in love with you.” He added and I felt my chest tightened from his words. 

I closed my eyes and felt our lips collide. One of his hand made its way to my cheek and pulled me deeper in the kiss, which was slow, steady and magical. I felt this butterflies in my stomach and it was one of the best thing I’ve ever felt. Probably the best thing actually. After a long minute, we both pulled away to catch some breath. “Wow.” Joe breathed out and smiled. Our foreheads were touching. “I never thought our first kiss would be that intense.” He whispered and it made me laugh. “Me neither.” I whispered back and we both chuckled before we kissed again and all of the previous actions were forgotten for the best.

Talk Shit Get Hit Meme: Put a ✇ in my inbox and I'll tell you where/how my muse would hit yours, and the meaning behind it.

Special thanks to blackmondayblues for helping me compile this list! Reversal of this meme can be found here.

Back of the head: You are annoying me. “Stop goofing off.”

Side of the head / Ear: I am losing my patience with you. “Pay attention you idiot!”

Mouth Pop: I don’t want to listen to you anymore.  "Shut up.“

Tap/flick to the nose: I’m condescending towards you. Mild reprimand. "Bad boy/girl!” “Aren’t you just a cute little thing?”

Hand Slap: Moderate reprimand. “No Touching!” “Hands off!”

Shoulder Punch: Acknowledgement. “Good Job. Well Done.”

Arm Smack: We’re buddies/ I consider us friends. “Hey there, Buddy!”

Knee Smack: I’m supporting you. Don’t worry. “I’m right here for you.”

Right cheek / Bitchslap: I’m furious with you. “You hurt me so I’m hurting you back.”

Left cheek / Backhand: You mean nothing to me. “I despise you.”

Butt Smack: I’m attracted to you. “I’d tap that.”

Throat Punch: I hate you. “I want to kill you.”

anonymous asked:

Imagine canon!virgin!Derek, still having been bad-touched and still having touch aversion except it's all worse because he was already a nervous, jumpy virgin before and now he just never wants to be touched, it makes him extremely upset, imagine Stiles finding out and working with him so slowly and patiently, explaining that it's ok if Derek never wants to have sex but he just wants Derek to be able to enjoy a hug you know? And so slowly he starts enjoying Stiles' touch and loving his touch 1

and after a long time of just working with this platonically Derek admits he wants something more (because don’t think for a second Stiles hasn’t been working on his self-worth and self-image issues too) and Stiles is so happy that Derek not only ASKED for something, but that he wants Stiles too, that he just forgets and for the first time he hugs Derek without asking permission and at first he panics and starts to pull away but then Derek HUGS HIM BACK and it isn’t stiff or rigid or scared it’s just a normal hug and Stiles is SO proud of him! He’s so gentle with every single first step too, their first kiss, their first time touching without clothes, or touching below the belt, and especially their first time going all the way, and throughout all this Stiles has been gently trying to get Derek to let the pack touch him too, little things, tiny things, but it’s working, Derek is happier, he feels better, he feels GOOD, and they’re both just so happy they could die ughh help.

ANON.Don’t do this too me! 

God, yes, I have so many thoughts about this.

Stiles clapping Derek on the back every so often, always making sure to say something positive as he does it, like “well done, buddy” or “thanks, I owe you one”. It’s not much, but Stiles sees the look in Derek’s eyes when Stiles does it to Scott and so he thinks, what the hell, I’ll try, and at first Derek tenses. In fact, he tenses the first hundred times Stiles does it, but slowly he learns to expect it, actually turning to Stiles as he comes over to him and smiling when he feels his hand between his shoulder blades.

The first time they hug they are saying goodbye after a pack meeting. Derek is looking particularly stressed. No-one was listening to his sugesstions, too busy arguing among one another. Eventually, Stiles suggested everybody leave and he lingers long after everyone is gone, watching Derek as he stares at the ground blankly. He doesn’t even think about it, walking over and gently pulling Derek to his feet, hovering for just a second before wrapping his arms around him and squeezing tightly. Derek doesn’t hug back, frozen, but after a minute or two he buries his face in Stiles’ neck and lets out a deep breath and that’s good enough for Stiles.

They don’t hug often after that, only when Stiles thinks Derek needs it, or that one time he just looked at Stiles and Stiles knew, knew he was trying to ask but couldn’t find the words, perhaps more afraid of what the hugs were starting to mean to him more than the possibility of rejection.

They kiss on a Thursday. Stiles is sitting on Derek’s lap, carding his long fingers through Derek’s hair and Derek…Derek just can’t stop looking at Stiles’ lips. When he used to look at Kate’s lips he saw something pretty, something to bite and lick and devour, but with Stiles all he sees there is safety, a sense of home and a belonging he hasn’t felt in years, even with Laura he never truly felt it. Stiles reminds him of everything good, and his lips? His lips look like peace, like sanctuary or something. Derek doesn’t ask to kiss him, but he doesn’t have to. Stiles has been searching his face for the past hour and slowly, so so slowly, Stiles leans in and presses his lips gently to Derek’s. It only lasts a few seconds, but Derek doesn’t think he has ever felt so happy.

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Gift of Life

I’m sorry this came so late, I hope the story’s good enough to make up for it.

This is kind of AU since there’s no mentions of them being in a band, but it also doesn’t describe them as anyone else. 

Warnings: slash (boyxboy) and mpreg.

Disclaimer: the characters mentioned in this do not belong to me. 

“Z?” Harry froze when he walked into the kitchen in his and his husband Louis’ house and saw one of his best friend’s and band mate sobbing into his hands at the island unit that was situated in the middle of the room.

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