well cheeky

Snake’s Snakes: A Guide

As someone who loves snakes, I really love Snake. Of course that also means I really love his snakes, and as someone who’s always been kind of a biology nerd, I thought to try my hand at classifying them. This was honestly really fun to do, and I hope some of you enjoy it!

…. says Keats.


Starting with my personal favorite, Emily is without a doubt a kingsnake, and if we want to go further she’s most likely a red milk snake. The distinctive pattern, bands of yellow and black on red, are actually a trademark of many kingsnake species. This clever disguise is used to mimic the venomous coral snake, keeping predators away.

Some fun kingsnake lore, these constrictors got their name because they hunt and consume other snakes when given the opportunity. They even hunt rattlesnakes, and have a high immunity to their venom.


Next we have Oscar, who is most definitely a red-tailed green ratsnake. Don’t be fooled by the name, their tails are typically not red, but a light brown. Oscar was also very easy to identify, the tail and the cute blue tongue really gave it away.

Interestingly, this species is known for having quite the attitude when kept in captivity, which I find translates well into Oscar’s cheeky personality. These snakes are also exceptional hunters, waiting in treetops to strike birds in mid-flight.


My second favorite noodle, Donne, is a tiny little thing called a blind snake. At first I thought he might be a worm snake, but the length and lack of eyes made me reconsider (blind snakes have very small rudimentary eyes that are barely visible, especially from a distance). These little cuties are harmless, and indeed small enough to sit on the human ear, at only 8 cm long (they can grow up to 16 cm, but not usually).


This dazzling noodle here is a corn snake, but not just a corn snake. Goethe is partially albino! If the striking fluorescent orange coloring and pretty pink eyes weren’t enough, he’s got a lovely pattern that certainly screams “creamsicle” to me.

Unlike Oscar, corn snakes make lovely pets with even temperaments, second only to ball pythons (though I guess I’m a little biased).  


Unlike Goethe, Keats is completely albino… which made pinpointing him a little difficult. It also doesn’t help that he has no patterning whatsoever. So, going by the shape of his face and his total size, I’d say Keats is most likely an albino gopher snake.


This one was a little tricky, despite his pattern it was difficult to pinpoint what Wordsworth could possibly be. After mulling it over, I realized he’s a corn snake. Though the pattern might look a little different, it follows the same rule, and the head and pupil shape match.

A good rule of thumb, if the pupil is round and the head is small, it’s most likely a constrictor. Venomous snakes tend to have slit pupils and skinny necks (and big fat heads). This helps identifying to some degree.


Wilde is a big ol’ snake most people know, a boa constrictor. As far as they go, he’s certainly tiny, but his face and body shape are near identical (the pear shaped head is pretty indicative of large constrictors).

Despite being fairly small for a boa, Wilde is still a hefty snake, and would probably weigh upwards of 20-27 kg. That’s a lot to hold on your shoulders! 


Unlike the rest of Snake’s snakes, Webster stands out in that he’s the only venomous one here. His pattern, bright yellow eyes, and slit pupils all indicate that he’s a copperhead. Another difference between venomous and non-venomous snakes, the fangs are only prominent in venomous snakes (non-venomous snakes don’t need to pump venom, so their teeth are smaller and hook-shaped). Despite being a pit viper, copperhead’s venom has a low potency, and the snake themselves are considered none aggressive.


Despite searching through almost every arc and skimming through the ovas, the only panels I’ve found of Bronte were of absolutely no help… I can’t even fathom what he might be. He is… a mystery.


Inspired by this beauty.

@malfoysscarhead Not sure if this is what you had in mind, but… it just kinda happened? 😂

“WHAT in Merlin’s name is THAT?”

Harry pokes his head out of the kitchen to see what caused Ron to shriek like that. Ah, of course. He should have known this would happen.

“That,” Harry begins amusedly, “is a picture of my fiance, thanks for noticing.”

“How could anybody NOT notice it? It’s a bloody poster! Hanging over your dining table.” Ron sounds almost outraged. Harry can’t help but snicker.

Ron keeps staring at it, open mouthed. Hermione pokes him in the ribs, giving him a sharp look.

“It’s a lovely picture, Harry,” she smiles, “I assume you took it?”

“As if I’d let anyone else see him like that,” Harry snorts.

“You’re letting US see him like that! Why, Harry? Why? I could have died happy without seeing his bum once,” Ron whines.

Harry leans against the doorframe, grinning.

He remembers the day he took that picture vividly…

It was the third day of their trip to Hawaii. Draco wasn’t as excited as Harry at first and complained about the heat. A lot. But as soon as he somewhat adapted to it, Harry often had to drag Draco out of the water and remind him to put on some sunscreen.

“Can we move here? I love it here,” Draco asked Harry excitedly between kisses, while he was carrying Draco out of the water.

“What about our jobs?” Harry laughed.

“Sod our jobs!”

Draco managed to sit beside Harry for five minutes, before he jumped up and ran towards the water again. Harry watched him as he stretched out his arms, as if welcoming the waves. His swim trunks were sitting low on his hips, revealing just the tiniest bit of that glorious arse.

Harry quickly grabbed his phone and took a picture, smiling to himself. His fiance was just too gorgeous for his own good.

Just as Harry decided to take a few more pictures, Draco turned around saw Harry with his phone. Grinning cheekily, he turned his head back to the water and hooked his thumbs into the waistband of his swim trunks. Harry’s eyes widened as he watched Draco pull them down to his ankles. Sweet Merlin, he was wiggling his bum!

Draco looked over his shoulder and winked at Harry.

“You coming?” he called, before running into the water. Harry didn’t need to be told twice! Thank Merlin this was a secluded beach…

Remembering this still sends heat through Harry and he clears his throat. He turns his attention back to Ron, smirking.

“Just be thankful it isn’t a magical picture. I doubt you’d want to see what happened after I took that picture.”

“Harryyyy,” Ron whines, his cheeks reddening. “I really don’t need to know what you do with that… arse.”

Harry bursts out laughing.

“Come on, sit down. That arse will be home soon and dinner’s almost ready.”

anonymous asked:

Here's another prompt: fell sans react to meeting his hot next door neighbor on the surface?

(oh boi howdy do i have a weak spot for Red and him getting the hots for his potential/future s/o. bless you, sweet anon, for giving me the chance to indulge a little further in that ;) <3 )

Red decidedly did not have a death wish.

Even with Edge out for the day - no doubt chasing Undyne down or accidentally terrorizing parents when he walked up wordlessly with a lost child he found wandering in the park as he trained - Edge’s sense of smell was uncanny for a being without a nose, and would happily shout Red’s skull into the next century if he caught a whiff of smoke clinging to anything inside.

So without bothering to properly walk out of his room, Red tucked his box of cigarettes and his lighter in his shorts and teleported to the balcony.

Their apartment was a pretty nice one, all things considered - decent area too, now that monsters could legally integrate with society. He and Edge had been in agreement on holding onto an apartment for at least a little bit before deciding to set up permanently anywhere - the world was big up here, absurdly so, and even if they’d both feel more comfortable closer to the mountain, there were a lot of areas around the city to choose from. So here he was, leaning against the railing of their top-floor corner apartment balcony, with a view of the balconies in the building adjacent to them accompanying the view of the enormous wooded park they lived next to. It was a view that made him feel a little more at ease when his anxiety was acting up - he could grab a smoke, stare up at the sky, or do a little people watching alongside the next apartment building or in the shade of the park.

As he slipped his cigarette between his teeth and lit it , enjoying the late afternoon sun on his bones and the decent breeze picking up, he noticed that his foot started instinctively tapping - huh, he could hear a song now actually, coming from the next apartment building over, pretty loudly…

“All that I want
Is to wake up fine
Tell me that I’m alright -
That I ain’t gonna die.”

The cigarette almost dropped out of Red’s mouth.

“All that I want
Is a hole in the ground.
You can tell me when it’s alright
For me to come out.”

You were on the balcony closest to him in the next building over - top floor, corner apartment, probably a mere 50 feet away. You had a series of small clotheslines strung out towards one side of your balcony and had clipped up several shirts and what seemed to be a set of sheets for a bed. Next to you buzzed a small speaker, surprisingly loud for it’s clearly travel-intended size, and it played the song on as you shifted and swayed, tapping out the energetic beat of the song while you sang along and clipped up a pair of jeans and took down a few dry pieces of clothing to make further room.

“Hard times
Gonna make you wonder why you even try
Hard times
Gonna take you down and laugh when you cry
These lives-”

Your back was mostly towards Red, and stars was he grateful. He felt a bead of magic forming on his skull, and knew a bit of a flush had picked up on his face- because by Asgore’s shitty beard, he couldn’t tear his gaze away from the figure you cut as you finished hanging up your laundry and spun around, your hips hitting side to side in perfect time, a mischievous grin on your face as your eyes closed and you sang along to the deceptively upbeat song.

“And I still don’t know how I even survive
Hard times,
Hard times -
And I gotta get to rock bottom-!”

Your foot stamped against the balcony floor, your arms thrown wide as you crowed the line to the sky.

Red’s soul jumped in his chest at the sight -

You were attractive as hell.

And then you made eye contact.

(continued below the cut… <3 / / mobile link)

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Close as Strangers: Chapter 11

Close as Strangers: Chapter 11

Word count: 6.2k

Genre: High School au, angst, smut  

This is dedicated to one of my best friends, thank you for being my friend and putting up with my weird ass. Thank you for reading my works and helping me want to keep writing even when I feel overwhelmed. Love you to death @kae-popx have a wonderful birthday, you deserve it! 

Chapters: one | two | three | four | five | six | seven | eight | nine | ten

Originally posted by sugutie

You and Yoongi were bringing your stuff down to the foyer when the doorbell rang. You had woken up only about fifteen minutes ago. You were so tired but you lazily went and opened it to a sleepy looking Jungkook. He smiled and walked in, giving you a kiss and brushing hair from your face.

“Morning, Jungkook.“ you rubbed the sleep from one eye.

“Hi, love. Do you want some help with your bags?” He asked. He became very smiley all the sudden. His hand suddenly slid down your back and cupped your ass, squeezing it quickly. All you could do was gasp and he was out the door with one of your bags. Yoongi had already taken his but came back for his pillow and backpack.

“You okay, Y/N?” Yoongi asked.

“Yeah,” you unfroze, you were definitely awake now. You grabbed your backpack and blanket. Then you and Yoongi said goodbye to your parents and his parents.

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For the anon whom I promised Niall fluff to the other day: this is my gift to you. ❤️

“But Niall, look at her!

You were cradling your newborn baby girl in your arms as you looked at your husband, distress coloring your features. Your baby was fast asleep in your arms—she had your lips and Niall’s nose, and a mixture of both your stubbornness.

She was a tough baby, in the sense that it had been incredibly difficult to get her used to any kind of sleep schedule. She cried at all hours of the night and had a very difficult temperament at that time, so you took the whole “when baby’s sleeping mom should be sleeping” thing very seriously.

You had to admit, caring for a baby was difficult. You and Niall had never felt exhaustion like it before—you had been sleeping in no more than three hour increments for the past two months, and it was all catching up to you. You had bags under your eyes like never before, and sometimes it took everything you had inside of you to keep up a simple conversation. Sometimes you would walk into the kitchen, baby in your arms, and catch your husband half-asleep as he brewed the coffee.

It took it’s toll on the both of you, but it was completely worth it.

“C’mon babe, give’er to me,” Niall reached for the baby in your arms, causing you to huff stubbornly.

“Don’t wanna,” you complained, cradling her closer to your chest and nuzzling your nose against the top of her sleeping baby head.

You had been cooped up in the house ever since your daughter had been born. It had been two months since you stepped foot out of your home—you gave your one hundred percent into motherhood, and you were getting the hang of taking care of your baby for sure. But there were times when Niall would have to kindly remind you to shower, or make you eat something before going to sleep because you hadn’t eaten anything all day.

You were drained, and it had been so long since you’d done something for yourself. Which is why Niall had scheduled this brunch with one of your best friends.

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((OOC: Someone asked me a while back if I had any writing prompts? Here’s a fic idea I’d like to see.

Soulmates are born with their fated partner’s FIRST. WORDS.

8,000,000 people looking for the one who said “Ma-ma!” with the right inflection. People from different countries daydreaming about their dreamy foreign soulmate who rolled, drooling, on a fine rug and burbled “PAPA!” to a room of delighted relatives.


The one individual with the word “Benadryl” stamped on her forearm. Who was that child? Where is her grown up precocious baby? Do they still have allergies to this day?

This is the thought that woke me up at midnight. Have at it, kiddies.))

Tease - Simon Minter (Smut)

Originally posted by sidemen-gifs

Pairing: Simon Minter (Miniminter) & Y/N
Words: 3.5k+
Warning(s): smut
Request/Summary: I had a lot of requests for a Simon smut and also a Truth or Dare Simon imagine so here you go
A/N: This is my first collab and it is with the beautiful @whateverbabeslove (please go follow her, shes the nicest person on the planet), but yeah, we really hope you like it!
Sophie’s Masterlist
My Masterlist

You didn’t know what to expect, arriving at the Sidemen house ready to go to the club.
You wouldn’t say you were dressed to impress, but you definitely wanted to make an impression on Simon. You were wearing tight black jeans that made your ass look great with a plain white crop top that really made your boobs stand out.
You had been friends with the Sidemen for around 2 years now. It was innocent at first until Simon started making moves on you which ended up with you lying naked in his bed. You’d been friends with benefits with Simon for about 4 months now.
It had been a while since the last time you spent time with him alone. You’d had no sexual contact with him for about 2 weeks, and to say you missed it was an understatement.
“You look nice,” Simon told you as you sat on his bed.
When you arrived at the house he answered the door, not ready to go out so you decided that you would sit in his room and wait for him to get ready.
“Fuckable,” he smirked laughing at you, changing from a sidemen shirt into a plain black t-shirt matched with black jeans. Simon always looked hot in all black.
“Ah, so do you.” You stood up and walked over to him, his hands immediately gripping your waist, pulling you towards him while your hands wrapped behind his neck.
“Well I’m glad we are on the same page here” he spoke before kissing you, pulling you closer to him before letting his hands slide down to squeeze your ass making you gasp and laugh into the kiss. Before pulling away from him and his grip and going back to sit on the bed.
"Well it’s been a while babe,” he walked towards you, sitting next to you on the bed. He moved your hair to the side and placed a few kisses on your neck before staying in one placing and sucking lightly.
“I know, but we are going out remember? Or has that slipped your mind?” You asked, laughing as he pulled away.
“Of course it hasn’t, but I’m sure they wouldn’t mind us staying back.”
“But I’ve got all dressed up for the club now, I’m not staying behind. I’m going babe.” You stood up, walking towards the door, hearing him get up behind you.
He spun you around before you could open the door, pinning you against it by your waist.
“Fine,” he whispered, so close that you could feel his breath, hot against your neck, “but I hope that means you’re coming back with me later, because I don’t know how much longer I can wait.“
With that, he left the room. Leaving you leaning against the door, breathing heavily.

Once you sorted yourself out, you went downstairs to be greeted by the others.
"Ready to go?” Josh asked and you nodded, walking outside, and getting into the uber.
Simon was facing you, not taking his eyes off you for the majority of the ride, completely zoned out from anyone else. You couldn’t tell if he was focused more on your face or your boobs.
He was turned on. You were killing him and you didn’t even know it.
When you arrived at the house he wanted to just take you then and there, but he couldn’t. So here he was, in an uber with his friends and you sitting across from him, your boobs standing out because of your crop top. Frankly, he couldn’t wait for the night to be over so he could take you back to his and finally have his way with you.

Arriving at the club, you all got drinks and sat down at a table, chatting away about the nonsense going on in your lives until Freya dragged you and Sarah up to dance. So, you danced for a while, moving your hips to the beat of the music, not really paying any attention to any of your surroundings.
Simon sat watching you intensely, he began to think you were teasing him on purpose although he wasn’t too sure, his thoughts were dragging off. He couldn’t help it, he was in too deep of a thought for anything to distract him, well other than CalFreezy shouting in his face.
He barely heard any of it though.
“Sorry what?” He asked back.
“I said you good bro? You seem really zoned out.”
“I’m fine,” he spoke, his gaze still on you.
Cal followed Simons eyes and saw you. Smirking, he looked towards Simon.
“Y/N, yeahhhhhhhh,” he spoke laughing, extending the yeah just showing how intoxicated he really was.
“What you mean?” Simon asked, his gaze finally leaving you and landing on Cal.
“I am not going to pretend I didn’t see you gawking at her not even 2 minutes ago. I can hook you up if you want? Maybe she’ll go home with you tonight.” he said laughing at his own words.
Simon laughed with him, for a different reason though. He appreciated his friend trying to help but he already knew you’d end up in his bed either way.
“When the girls come back I’ll hook you up with something bro,” Cal said once again to Simon who was laughing and shaking his head at his words.

While you were dancing Freya had turned to you.
“I swear Simon’s been staring at you for the past 10 minutes.”
“What?” You asked laughing while Sarah nodded.
“He has, he’s not even trying to hide it,” She said while laughing.
“Come on let’s go back to them,“ Freya spoke, pulling us back towards the guys, pushing you into the booth next to Simon.
"Hi” you giggled as you landed on him, making him laugh back.
You noticed the look he received from Cal when you spoke.
“Alright Y/N, odds on for a body shot off of Simon. If we get the same number you do it, if we get different numbers then you don’t,” Cal spoke, looking over at you making everyone ‘Ohhhh’.
“Alright,” you laughed, not knowing what to expect, “1-4.”
Getting a countdown from JJ you both spoke,
“3-“ you both said, making you mentally curse.
“AYYYYYY” JJ shouts, laughing at your reaction.
“GET THE SALT AND LIMES OUT LADS ITS TIME!” Cal shouted once again, way too excited, making everyone laugh.
They decided to put the salt on Simons neck and then the lime in his mouth, and the shot of tequila on the table.
“On the count of three you need to lick the salt off of Simons neck, take the shot, then get the lime from his mouth,” Cal spoke up winking at Simon, “and remember to take your time, we don’t need you to rush.”
Simon put his hand onto your inner thigh before you started, lightly massaging it, making you chuckle.
"Three, two, one go.”
After that you started, leaning into Simons neck and placed your lips there, sucking at the salt, his hand gripped your thigh tightly, making you smile against his neck. Pulling away, you licked one last strip up his neck before pulling back and taking the shot then turning his head to you and taking the lime out of his mouth, your lips touching for a brief moment. Sucking on the line then putting it in the glass, Simons eyes were on your lips the whole time.
“AYYYYY!” They shouted once you finished.
“Seemed like you were into that Simon,” Harry joked, making the others laugh, Simon telling him to shut up.

The rest of the time was spent drinking and laughing at stupid jokes, Simons hand still gripping your thigh, every now and then sliding it up, eventually making you push his hand off you when he got too close to your heat.
“How about we all go back to The Sidemen house?” Josh asked making everyone nod.
The uber back to the house was the same, Simon sitting next to you this time, once again his hand gripping your thigh, massaging it softly through your jeans.
“Had a good time?” He asks, turning his head to face you.
“Yeah it’s been alright,” you responded, looking back at him smiling softly.
“Good. I’m glad, but just know the night is nowhere near over yet baby.” he whispered, smirking, and squeezing your thigh harder making you jump a bit and lean into him. What a dick.

Arriving back at the Sidemen house was a dream come true, you were sure that if you were in the car any longer with Simon you would’ve jumped him.
It seemed like you couldn’t catch a break with Simon, hoping you could go upstairs and let him have his way with you. But obviously that’s not what happened as JJ thought a good old game of truth or dare would’ve been a better way to end the night.
So you all sat in a circle in the living room, you being pulled down in between Freya and Sarah while Simon was in between JJ and Cal, typical.
The game started off pretty standard, the usual drunk truth or dare questions, Harry was dared to run around the street naked for 2 minutes, Ethan had to lick JJs toe and Josh had to answer a question.
You simply sat and waited for your turn to come around and soon enough it did, JJ was the one who got to ask,
“Y/N truth or dare?”
“I dare you to make out with the person you find most attractive in the room,” he spoke and nudged Simon, laughing slightly while smirking.
You stood up, walked over and kneeled down in front of Simon, placing your lips on his, continuing the kiss for a while before pulling back, going back to your spot and sitting down breathless.
The game continued like that for a while until people started getting bored and decided it would be a good time to leave.
The people who didn’t live in the sidemen house left, leaving you, Simon, Josh, JJ, Freya, and Vik. But lucky for you they decided to go to bed, leaving you and Simon alone.
“I think I might head home,” you teased and stood up.
“Excuse me?” He asked, standing up and walking towards you.
“I don’t think you’re going anywhere baby,” he whispered once he was close enough to you, grabbing your waist and pulling you into him.
“And whys that?” You asked as he pushed you up against the nearest wall and began to kiss along your neck.
“Because, I think you’ve teased me a bit too much tonight and I didn’t deserve it” he spoke, smirking into your neck when you let out a light moan at the feeling of his lips against you.
“Wh-what are you talking about,” you questioned, your breath quickening as his kisses got more intense on your neck, sucking and biting in one certain place that drove you wild.
“I saw the way you were dancing tonight, the way you’ve dressed and even the way you kissed me earlier, you’ve been driving me crazy all night and I think I’ve been good enough to get something off of you.” He whispered once again, kissing up your neck and on your jaw, hovering over your lips but not pressing against them, just letting his hot breath fan over them as he spoke.
“So what do you say, what do you think about joining me upstairs tonight?”

You nodded and began to walk up the stairs, Simon following behind. You felt Simon close behind you as you went up the stairs, a light smack being placed on your ass, followed by a light tipsy giggle. You chuckled, turning to him, and trying to tell him to be quiet.
“I couldn’t help it love, it was in my face, what did you expect me to do?”

You eventually got up to his room, you both not able to keep your hands off each other.
The door closed with a click behind you as you made your way to his large bed.
“You haven’t been very nice tonight. You’ve been teasing me since I answered the door earlier,” he whispered in your ear, his voice raspy and rough.
You pull back slightly so that you could look into his eyes, “Is there any way that I could make it up to you?”
He nods lightly, taking a seat on the edge of the bed, hands splayed behind him, his legs spread apart slightly.
You took the hint, stepping between his legs, leaning down to capture his lips with yours. Your hands made their way down to the hem of his t-shirt, pulling it up slowly, breaking apart to throw it somewhere in his room. You kissed him deeply before you sank to your knees between his parted ones, undoing his belt and removing his jeans.
You moved your hand up his thigh, skimming over the edge of his boxers, up to cover his clothed cock. You rubbed your hand along it, circling his tip lightly with your thumb through them.
You hear him bite back a moan as you remove your hand, replacing it with your lips, pressing kisses up and down it.
You hear a whine leave his lips, shallow breaths leaving his lips.
“You’ve teased me enough,” he whines, his eyes closed at the brief pleasure you were giving him.
You  lean back and let out a breathy laugh, “You’re so needy tonight.”
You move your hands to the waistband of his boxers, pulling them down and placing them with the rest of his clothes.
You graze your fingers over the inside of his thighs, feeling him shiver at the contact, before you ghost the tip of one finger along his length.  You hear Simon’s breath snag in his throat as you remove your hands to kiss and lick around the tip of his cock, your tongue teasing at the slit he finds there.
Simon can’t hold back a moan as he watches you slowly sink your lips down over his cock, cheeks hollowed from sucking, eyes closing with the effort. His hands dig into the sheets below him at the sight of your flushed face and reddened lips.
You pull off, placing small kitten licks on the head, letting your tongue swirl around the top and all the way down to the base. Simon is breathing erratically, trying his hardest not to buck his hips up.
You suck at the head, letting go to see pre-come drizzle down his cock.
You look up, meeting his desperate eyes. He throws his head back and groans, feeling so close to the edge already.
You feel him reach out with one of his hands, resting it on the back of your head, but not pushing down.
“Fuck, I- I’m gonna come…” he moaned, bucking his hips into your mouth slightly.
You pulled off of him, hearing a loud whine leave his lips as he was so close to coming but wasn’t able to.
Looking down at your smirking face he reaches down and grabs you by the waist and pulls you down so that you’re laying on the bed, him hovering over you with his knee between your thighs. He presses heated kisses to your lips, slowly making their way down your neck, sucking lightly when he got to your collar bones, grazing over the marks he had made earlier with his tongue.
You felt his rough fingertips dig into the dips of your hipbones, holding your body close to his. You felt his body move downwards. He let out a breathy sigh while pressing his lips to your exposed stomach, his hand gripping at the hem of your shirt and dragging it slowly off you, a heated trail of kisses following closely behind.
When your shirt was taken off, you connected your lips with Simons, feeling his hands wander from surrounding your waist to your back, unclasping your bra easily from the amount of times he’s done it.
He throws it somewhere in the room once it was taken off. His hands roaming to graze the side of your breast as they make their way down to the button on your jeans.
Once they’re off, he captures your lips in his and deepens the kiss, letting your tongues meet. You immediately feel his hard length pressing against your thigh and you can tell that the kisses are getting more and more desperate.
You feel his hand move down to your panties, sliding light teasing touches to your heat. He moves his thumb over your clit, making small circles to it, making your breath hitch in your throat.
Your moans are caught by Simons mouth, your hands roaming from his hair at the back of his neck to down his back.
He ends your kiss, leaning back to remove your panties, making delicate touches to your centre.
He inserts a finger slowly, beginning to pump it in and out of you in a steady pace. He then withdraws his hand and brings it up to his mouth, sucking his finger into his mouth, a moan of pleasure following it. Simon quickly pushes his finger back inside of you, inserting a second one too. You tighten your grip on his arm as he starts to curl his fingers, a loud moan escaping your lips as your fingernails scratching lightly down his back when he finally hits that spot within you.
You can feel yourself coming close to the edge, moans and gasps leaving your lips, and just as you feel like you could go over the edge, Simon removes his fingers.
A high whine leaves your lips at your frustration. You open your eyes to see a cocky smirk on his face.
“You’re such a dickhead,” you whisper, a light chuckle following.
He interrupts your laugh by connecting your lips, tongues swirling, fighting for dominance. His hands moved from your jaw to your breasts down to your legs where he parts them more so that he can comfortably lay between them.
“Are you ready?” He asks as he lines himself up with your core, biting his lower lip in anticipation. 
You nod and he presses in, biting down gently on your exposed collar bone at the feeling of your walls clenching around him.
He lets out a soft whimpering moan in your ear as he finally sinks into you, stretching your walls in a way that his fingers couldn’t.
He pulled your wrists up above your head, pinning them there gently with one hand, the other helping him keep his balance as he rocked his hips into yours.
He lets out a groan in your ear, a quiet question of “Would you ride me?”
You nod eagerly, your teasing mood had not died down.
Simon pulled out, lying down next to you as you sat up, straddling Simons hips. You hovered above his rock-solid cock, running a finger up the underside of it, hearing a hiss leave his mouth. You pick it up and run it along your slit, teasing him with the feeling.
“Please y/n,” he almost begged, just wanting to get what he’s been craving all night.
A satisfying moan came from the both of you as you sank down onto his cock.
You hear him let out a string of curse words when you started moving, his fingers gripping onto your hips for dear life.
He pulled your hips down harder as you both were nearing climax, the steady rhythm that was once there, no longer present.
As Simon felt the overwhelming urge to come he moved one of his hands to rub tight circles on your exposed clit, wanting you to come as well.
When his climax hit he pulled your hips down hard so that he was buried deep within you, his body going tense as you rocked your hips slowly back and forth, riding out your shattering climax.
You fall forward in exhaustion as both of you had come, small pants leaving your mouths. You rolled off him, relaxing into the bed. You feel the bed move as Simon gets up, but you took no knowledge of it until he brought back a cloth to help clean up.
After you were both adequately clean you collapsed into bed together, your head resting on Simons chest as his arm wrapped around your shoulders.

JJ needed to ask Simon a technical question. A genuine question that couldn’t wait until Simon woke up himself. So, JJ did what he thought was the most logical answer. He barged in like the good friend he was, however he was shocked at what he found. He only expected to find a hungover, slightly grumpy Simon. Instead he found the two of you naked cuddled in his bed, marks and bruises littering both your bodies.
You opened your eyes at the slight movements from beneath you, seeing a shocked JJ standing at the foot of Simons bed, his mouth hung wide open. When you made eye contact JJ ran from the room screaming to the whole house.

“I told you they were fucking!


request: “Hi! Could you maybe write an imagine with cedric x reader when you are in the lake for the task in the tournament where he has to save you and he’s getting worried bc you were supposed to meet him before the task to wish him luck and no one’s seen you and he like freaks out but he can’t go looking for you because of the task?? Idk some fluff! Thaaanks xx” — by anon

a/n: loved this idea so much! thanks for requesting 💘 (also, keep in mind that i mostly base my writing from what i’ve read in the hp books and not in the movies, but i often mix both lol)


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So with this "cheeky nandos" meme thing going around, I decided to make a list of Irish memes.

-“what would you say to a cup of tea?”

-“feck, drink, girls”

- “sure be grand”

-“feck, shite, arse”

-jumbo breakfast roll

-“ahh gowan”

-“bye bye bye bye bye bye bye”


-“I caaaaaannnnttt do it”

-a three in one

-“I will yea”

-“go way outa that”

-“you know your wan? You do, with the hair?!”

-love hate

-fair city

-*breathes in while saying “yeah”*


“Slow down tommy!!”


- *sings* 1890 222222

-curry chips

-sucking diesel

-€1 corneto

-“ya muppet”

-Kilkenny v Tipperary

‘i always seem to smile and people ask how?’ is literally the boys asking trini how she’s smiling, really big and all because of kimberly hart, who is her girlfriend



Teasing, smut

Fandom: Divergent

Request: “Okay I haven’t read the request rules because I couldn’t find them. Sorry. Anyway here’s the request: could you write one about Divergent? Where the reader is a transfer and she’s a bit late for breakfast, so she thinks that the bedroom will be empty and after taking a shower she returns in only her towel to find there Four who’s looking for her. Then he sort of gets excited from her half-naked body and then they have sex? Thanks 💗💖💘 Btw your stories are always amazing 💕💞💓”

Word count: 832

gif is not mine.

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Tyler Joseph X Reader

Request: could you do one where a creepy guy starts hitting on y/n and being really pervy and you get really scared and then Tyler or Josh sWOOPS IN AND SAVES THE DAY cause that would be amazing. thanks (I love your writing so much !!)

A/N: SO THIS CAN BE A BIT TRIGGERING SO BE WARNED. THIS IS NOT A SMUT. IT DOES HAVE SOME SEXUAL CONTENT HOWEVER. I’ll list the warnings down below!!! I apologize for the lack of content recently, I’ve been very discouraged about writing and I just haven’t really had much time to write either. I hope you guys enjoy this one, however. I promise I’ll try to be more consistent with my writing, but please bear with me if I’m not. You guys are the absolute best! Thank you for sticking with me.

WARNINGS: sexual harassment, language, some mild violence, uncomfortable situations

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hoplessly-devoted-to-you  asked:

I need part 3 to "Write In The Dark" PLEEEEASE it's so amazing!!!!❤️

Harry took the mic, it’s his time to speak.

He looked at you that’s seated beside his stood figure, still in adoration that you’re wearing a wedding dress and he gets the privilege to be the man at the other end of the aisle.

“Just so you know, when I saw her walking, yes, I was crying.”

He chuckled, grinning before he saw James in one of those tables that he made himself remember, pointing at him.

“But in a cool way.”

The guests laughed, making you do as well since that encounter with Harry and James is something he’s still talking to you and laughing about.

“I’d like to thank God. Everyone; my family, Y/N’s family but I wouldn’t like to call it my family just yet because that would be too cocky.”

Harry almost drank his champagne but he remembered that he isn’t supposed to not unless his speech is done, looking at the people that are happy which are all of them.

“My friends, the boys — Niall, Louis, Liam and yeah, Zayn too. The fans, the caterers and the planner — that’s actually Gemma and free of charge because she wants me to get married already.”

“I guess people too that signed the certificates and those that didn’t object our marriage?”

He asked in an unsure tone, the internet being divided once they knew that he’s getting married to you.

“And last but not the least, to my wife. Y/N Styles.”

He paused, roaring claps and cheers making way as he told you to stand beside him, his arm around your waist.

“I have so much to say but I’ll keep it simple.”

He carried a knowing smirk as he sneaked a look to you that knows it very well, his cheekiness going unnoticed.

“To my best friend, my love, my future and my wife, thank you. I love you.”

I Don’t Think I’ve Ever Played Spin the Bottle

Dan X Reader

Word count: 1,443 (sorry, I think it’s fair to say that i got a little bit too carried away)

Genre: Smut/Fluff

Happy birthday for yesterday Daniel!

I’ve had quite a few requests for these two prompts so I thought I’d merge them together! Sorry that it’s quite long but I promise that it’s worth reading!

Find my prompts here and submit them here   [REQUESTS OPEN]


The sight of Dan in his red checked shirt made you quiver. He sat peacefully on the sofa, sipping on a vodka and lemonade whilst laughing amongst his friends. You knew that Dan didn’t particularly enjoy his birthday, yet seeing him with that familiar grin on his face brought you peace. You were surprised when Phil even suggested throwing him a party but you would take any opportunity just to be in his presence. It pained you to observe his beauty; his thick brown curls tousled perfectly into place, the delicate wrinkles that appeared under his eyes when he smiled and those deep brown eyes that made you feel safe. But inside, you knew that you could never belong to him, you thought that he deserved so much more than you so you stayed away and admired from the distance despite the lonely nights that you spent thinking about him. Dan had been one of your best friends for about a year now and you knew that he didn’t want anything more than friends, you were willing to accept this out of fear of ruining the ever-growing relationship that you two shared. However, nothing could separate your gaze from him and the way that the top button of his shirt choked his neck, emphasising his manly physique.

Tonight was a special night, it was Dan’s night. Surrounded by familiar faces comforted you, Phil, PJ, Chris and Louise just to name a few. The evening grew dark and the stars lit up the lounge of Dan and Phil’s apartment.

“Hey everybody! I think we owe a special announcement to the one and only Mr Daniel Howell” announced a slightly intoxicated Chris, followed by supportive cheers and the occasional comment from those who had perhaps had slightly too much to drink. You looked up towards Chris before switching your attention to Dan who although was cringing with palm in hand, displayed the sweetest smile on his face. “As a tribute to our guest this evening, I suggest we play a little game that I like to call spin the bottle”

Fear struck your face, you had only seen this game in American films and quite honestly not knowing the fate of who your lips were about to kiss scared you slightly. You had never been the type of girl who drew attention from guys yet there was secretly a burning feeling inside of you that longed to be held by another and to simply have somebody who you could call yours. This somebody was Dan. Never had you met a more caring, considerate man who would do anything for you and on top of all that, fuck he was hot.

Dan must have sensed your fear as he came and perched next to you on the carpet, placing a hand on your shoulder before whispering “don’t worry Y/N, it’s just a bit of fun”. He threw you that familiar smirk before grabbing an empty bottle and placing it in the middle of the newly formed-circle.

A few turns had passed, and many shocked faces and jokes were shared amongst you and your peers. “Alright guys, I think it’s birthday boy’s turn” once again announced Chris. Hoping that nobody would see, Dan made stern eye contact with you and quickly gave you a wink as he grabbed the bottle and spun it. Eyes followed the twirling bottle in the middle of the floor with hearts racing to see who it landed on. Eventually, it began to slow down and a small part of you desperately hoped that it landed on you. Silence. The bottle was facing you. The room could sense your timidness yet your friends seemed nervously excited, you wondered why.

All of a sudden, Dan grew shy. He shifted his body towards you so that you were facing each other, legs crossed on his lounge carpet. You could feel his heavy breathing which somewhat distracted you from the countless eyes staring at you. Slowly, he moved in before whispering in your ear “I wanted to make sure that he first person you kiss, really loves you”. You had never felt your heart beat so fast, it almost felt as though it was going to fly out of your chest yet the only thing that you wanted was him, right there, in that moment. You gently closed your eyes, slowly leaning in.

Nothing felt as warm as this. The soft touch of his lips pressed against yours felt like a thousand tiny stars lit up within you and suddenly, everybody else disappeared. In your mind, you and Dan were the only two people in the room. He cupped your face in his hands and stroked your cheek carefully before reluctantly breaking the kiss. You so badly wanted to fuck him, his warmth was gripping you tightly but you knew that his love was one of friendship.

The whole room cheered louder than ever with people chanting our names. God it felt like some kind of football game, but you couldn’t help but let your cheeks grow red as a smile erupted on your face. However, quickly it all came crashing down; the realisation that this was probably the only time that you would ever experience such lust, the only time that you could feel his soft touch.

The night quickly came to an end with one drink too many and wrapping paper torn up on the floor amongst deflated balloons. Phil left the lounge, feeling the tension as you and Dan sat next to each other on the couch, staring at the empty room. “I should probably get going” you said, looking down at your watch. The awkwardness was unbearable, you wanted nothing more than to turn to him and confess your attraction. But instead, you grabbed your phone and stood up out of the seat. A tight grip abruptly pulled you back “please don’t go Y/N, I want you to stay with me” pleaded Dan.

As you sat back down on the sofa with a puzzled look in your eye, Dan pulled you closer and instantly that same tingle overcame your body. “we can’t do this Dan” you whimpered. A look of sadness overcame his face, hiding any glimpse of happiness. “w-why not Y/N I don’t understand”.

“Because I love you, you goof” You let out, feeling the tears well up in your eyes. Insensitively, a chuckle escaped Dan’s mouth. “I love you too”

Minutes flew by, and the tears turned into passionate moans of pleasure. Dan buried himself in your neck leaving purple bruises across your skin. “I’m just marking my territory” he said with a cheeky intonation. The two of you collided into each other, tangling your fingers in his curls and gripping onto the back of his muscular neck. He grabbed your hand and lead you into his bedroom before you jumped up, wrapping your legs around his torso, trying not to break the kiss.

He threw you down on the bed, admiring your beauty and biting his lip which made you tremble slightly. “Dan I-“ you began breathlessly “I’ve never done this before” Dan slowly climbed onto of you “it’s okay princess, I’ll take care of you”.

In a matter of seconds, your clothes were in a heap on the floor and Dan stood naked in front of you. You worshiped his body, gazing at his soft skin and his hard member which was pressed firmly against his stomach.

“Please, Y/N, I need you” he panted, waiting for your approval. Suddenly, you gasped as he thrusted into you, reaching places that had been untouched before. Adjusting to his size, his rhythm grew faster and steadier as you moaned his name and dug your fingernails into his back, causing him to whimper in pleasure. “Fuck you feel so good” you screamed, having waited for this moment for what seemed like an eternity.

You felt it building up inside of you “D-Dan” you cried “I’m gonna cum”. His hands gripped the sheets either side of you as he screamed your name “cum for me princess”. An immense pleasure took over your body as you felt him release inside of you, arching your back and throwing your head back

“fuck baby” Dan moaned, collapsing beside you, taking you in his arms and holding on tight. “Dan” you said, still breathless, “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you before but, I was scared that I was falling too fast for you” he shot you a cheeky smile, “well it was worth waiting for”


This is honestly absolutely rubbish and cringy af but who cares right, it’s cute so hopefully you guys will still like it ! I’m in a real lack of inspiration right now, I had a few productive weeks but now I’m really struggling so i’m counting on you to send me some requests, my loves xx

“Have a nice evening.” Y/N said, smiling over to the driver before hoping out of the Uber. As she stepped out of the car, she looked around for the restaurant and walked towards its entrance, stopping to wait for her friends. Her view was suddenly blocked by someone who had put their hands on her eyes and she smiled to herself, exactly knowing who it was. “Well that is really cheeky, Joseph.” She said before she was finally able to see again and she turned around to face a smiling Joe. “How did you know?” Joe chuckled before pulling her into a hug. “I know you all too well.” She teased, inhaling his warming scent and hug lasted for far too long. “You sure do.” Joe teased back, before pulling away to smile at her. The two best friends were snapped out of their stare as she spotted two of their other friends walking over to them. The fake blonde grinned at her and walked over to her, pulling into a tight hug. “You literally saw me two days ago, silly.” She laughed as Jack was still holding her and he kissed her cheek. “That was too long.” He said, pouting before Mikey leaned in to pull her in a hug as well. “Hey, LP.” Y/N said , smiling over at him and they all looked at each other before finally entering the restaurant.

The four friends walked over to a small table, Jack sat next to Y/N as Mikey was sitting next to Joe. And Y/N was happy with that because Joe was sitting in front of her and for a moment, she could picture this being a date with only the two of them but it wasn’t.

An hour later, the friendly dinner was going on as a normal night out but Y/N’s mind was somewhere else. Because throughout the whole dinner, the boys had been paying attention to the apparently really attractive girls sitting behind them and it felt as if she was invisible to them. But in fact, she wasn’t because Joe’s eyes were only focused on her. “I know why you wanted to sit there, you plonker.” Jack exclaimed , chuckling with Mikey. “What do you mean?” Joe frowned at his mate as he was getting annoyed by their tipsy attitude. He didn’t care about those girls, she was the only one. “Getting a better view on the pretty ladies, huh?” Mikey joked and Joe simply rolled his eyes at his comment but he quickly noticed how Y/N was so quiet and it worried him. “Is everything alright?” Joe asked, not even paying to his friends comments anymore. Y/N flinched at the question, her gaze on the plate in front of her. “Yeah.” She simply said, offering him a weak smile but she had been his best friends for ages, he knew she was lying. “You can tell me anything, you know.” Joe stated, his eyes meeting hers. “I’m fine. I just need some air.” Y/N said and before he could do anything, she was already walking out of the restaurant. It didn’t took long for Joe to get up but just as he was about to catch her up, a girl from the table was blocking his way. “Call me.” She said, sending him a wink and his eyes fell in the piece of paper in her hand and Joe looked over to Jack who send him a nod. Joe glanced over the girl’s shoulder, seeing Y/N stepping through the door. “My heart is taken.” Joe said firmly, brushing past the girl and running out of the restaurant.

“What’s wrong?” He said as soon as he stepped out of the restaurant and his eyes fell on her. “Are you all that blind?” Y/N scoffed before turning around to face her best friend properly and Joe simply frowned, stepping closer. “You’re all just fantasizing on those random beautiful girls and I’m just standing there, completely transparent.” She explained, watching Joe’s glare soften. “I’m not the girl people pay attention to. It’s selfish I know but it’s true.” She finished, eyes locked onto the ground. Joe knew her insecurities and had heard her say things like that before but if only she knew how wrong she was. Because in a room full of people, his eyes were always drawled back to her. Joe stepped closer until their bodies were only inches away and he grabbed hold of her hand. “It’s funny you say that because there’s actually this really beautiful girl that I can’t help but notice every time she walks in a room.” Joe said, his hand moving to her cheek and she smiled, feeling her cheeks flush red. “Who cares about the other girls, the only one I want is you.” He said and before she could reply, he had already pressed their lips together. Y/N snaked her arms around his neck, deepening the kiss. “It took you bloody ages to do that.” Y/N mumbled against his lips and Joe let out a laugh. 

Soon enough, they were both walking back into the restaurant, earning some confused looks from their friends and as they were walking by the table full of girls, Joe made sure that they would notice his fingers locked with Y/N’s before sitting down.