welcome to night vales

Warm Weather

It’s summer, and everything is better.

The air smells sweeter, the sun shines brighter, and, though your worries are still present, there is a comforting sense of ease that accompanies you that wasn’t there before. Summer, you would argue, is contentment in the form of a season.

On one particular summer day, you are relaxing inside your home while laying on your couch. You have a popsicle in hand and the windows are open wide behind you; a cool breeze makes the curtains dance. Distantly, you register the sound of a lawnmower and an ice cream truck’s jingle. You’ve missed this. You haven’t had the chance to relax in awhile. Someone’s grilling - you can smell it - and you muse about the barbecues you might attend. 

The ice cream truck is getting closer and by the sound of it it’s just turned down your street. The song it plays is one you’d normally find annoying, but today it only makes you grin with all that it implies. Summer. Relaxation. Freedom. You might get ice cream later on, but for now you have your popsicle and you don’t really want to get up anyways. 

You should probably call your friends and see if they want to get together. You had all promised to stay in touch over the summer, but you know you’re not that great at reaching out. Through your window behind you, you hear the jingle grow louder. The ice cream truck must be right outside your house now. 

Maybe you’ll even do a bit of cleaning. You sure hadn’t gotten around to “spring cleaning,” but better late than never. It’s-it’s really loud now, isn’t it? Why is the ice cream truck’s music so loud? You can barely hear yourself think. In fact, it sounds like it’s coming from inside your house now. But that’s ridiculous.

The window is still at your back and the song only grows louder. You don’t want to move. Why should you? It’s crazy. There’s no way it’s inside your house-

An icy cold hand wraps itself around your shoulder.

It screams. You scream.

W e  a l l  s c r e a m  f o r  i c e  c r e a m .

inspirobot is amazing

Me ^^^

“Life” ;)

Reddit in a nutshell ^^^

Ominous ^

Inspirobot is an asshole ^

…ok then 

Cruelty right there ^

Suddenly serial killers ^

ME ^^^

Happiness is folly

Feels Night Vale ^

Also feels Night Vale ^

…I mean some people are into that shit but WHAT??? ^

My genetic disposition to struggle with my weight? ^

Cynical fucker, this bot ^

That’s just what the USSR wanted us to think ^

villains night vale has had
  • season 1: a tiny city under a bowling alley
  • season 2: capitalism
  • season 3: several eldritch-horror monsters in an anti-government conspiracy alliance (addendum: also physical distance as a thing that exists and separates people)
  • season 4: actual satan
  • season 5: denial
here’s what we know.

our cecil:

  • doesn’t have a brother
  • has evidence of a brother in his home
  • has a sister
  • is openly gay
  • lives in night vale, in which lgbt people are completely accepted

cecil from cal’s timeline:

  • grew up in a homophobic environment 
  •  has a brother (cal)
  • abby does not exist
  • janice does not exist

cecil from the cassette timeline:

  • dies at fifteen
  • at the age of fifteen, has a brother
  • this brother has “hollow eyes”
  • this brother believes radio voices should be high
  • would recreationally vandalize things alongside cal as a teenager

kevin:

  • has “dark black eyes”
  • radio personality 
  • high voice
  • lives in a town more conservative than night vale (desert bluffs)
  • during the strex invasion, was physically handicapped
  • shown to enjoy dark, twisted things
  • often described as having a gruesome smile
  • has a fascination with teeth, gore and blood
  • decorates using the above

cal:

  • is cecil’s brother from an alternate timeline in which cecil never came out as gay
  • coughs up teeth
  • is bleeding throughout his episode 
  • leaves a bloodstain on cecil’s rug

abby:

  • is cecil’s sister from the timeline in which the show takes place

 “ash beach”:

  • similarly to how in “cal”, cecil hears crunching eggshells, the figures are describes as sounding like cracking egg shells
  • it was an episode in which people experienced false memories
  • in the episode, john peters (you know, the farmer?) experienced false memories of his long-lost brother

here’s what we don’t know.

  • e v e r y t h i n g

AND THIS IS ALL WITHOUT FUCKING MENTIONING HUNTOKAR, THE BLOOD-SPACE-WAR, THE END OF THE WORLD, OR THE RUSSIAN STUFF.

night vale inspired horoscope, brought to you by musterni!


aries: quiet reflexion is next to impossible if your mental landscape is one long scream.
taurus: you inspire me to be better! a better “what” is up for interpretation. (person? arsonist? alien?)
gemini:  we don’t know where you came from, but we need you to go back.
cancer: gratuitous violence: unnecessary, satisfying, heartbreaking, and so like everything else you love. 
leo: I lived better when I was ignorant of the sun, tucked away in your chest. 
virgo: there is a variety of sadness that makes a home in your guts and never quite leaves. 
libra: if only it were easy! to wish and want for nothing. if only you weren’t less human for it - wishing and wanting for nothing. 
scorpio: you’ve long seen your downfall spelled out in another’s bone. 
sagittarius: love to distraction, die due to carelessness. 
capricorn: your ego cannot afford cremation or caskets. 
aquarius: you’re dazzling and terrifying - those words are not as removed from one another as you may think. 
pisces: flirt with death, tease the inevitable, give the void a saucy wink.