welcome rio

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“Welcome Home” by Coheed And Cambria

Good Apollo, I’m Burning Star IV, Volume One: From Fear Through the Eyes of Madness (2005)

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“How could you live in a world without gay people? i mean there’d be no movies, there’d be no theatre, there’d be no fashion. i mean honestly.”
EXACTLY. Think about THAT straight vote-no people.

Shade: The Rusical, ACT I by Lucian Piane

Shady Queen: In the city of drag queens, there is a fine line between being shady and being a lady. This is Penny, which will she choose? 

[Enter Penny, stage center, exit Shady Queen]

Penny: I just got off the bus, I don’t eat, drink, or cuss! 

[Enter Pageant Queens, stage left]

Pageant Queen 1: You’re new, in town? 

Pageant Queen 2: Its time to knuckle down. 

Both Pageant Queens: Start swimming to the top before you drown. 

Penny: Who are you? 

Both Pageant Queens: We are the Pageant Queens. 

Penny: Oh, fancy! 

Both Pageant Queens: We’re elegant machines. In gowns, we strut. We don’t need corny smut. 

[Enter Comedy Queens, stage right]

Both Comedy Queens: What?! 

Both Pageant Queens: Lets hold back, see which way she leans! 

Penny: Who are you? 

Both Comedy Queens: We are the comedy queens. 

Penny: Oh, cute! 

Both Comedy Queens: Humor always justifies the means!

Comedy Queen 1: While she stands there telling a joke. 

Comedy Queen 2: Ugh!

Comedy Queen 1: I’m right behind you, poke! 

Penny: Oh! 

Both Comedy Queens: Don’t listen to them ‘cause they’re all full of beans. 

Comedy Queen 1: Literally! 

[Re-enter Shady Queen from stage left] 

Penny: Who’s that?

Pageant Queen 1: Wait! She’s the the Shady Queen, horrid queen, no one wants to see her!

Pageant Queen 2: On her own, all alone, no one wants to be her!

Comedy Queen 1: Listen up, pretty pup, she’s on her way…

Both Comedy Queens: To six feet, underground! 

Pageant Queen 1: Yes and nothing nice, nothing good ever goes her way so miss off a bus. 

Pageant Queen 2: Even Ru would say so! 

Penny: Who? 

Everyone but Penny: Gasp. RuPaul! 

Penny: Oh! 

Pageant Queens with Comedy Queens: Turn around!

 We are the better queens, the safer queens, the lighter queens, the brighter queens, the wiser queens, adviser queens, the ones who you should stick with

Shady Queen: Penny, you really want to be a star? 

Penny: Yeah, I do! 

Pageant Queens and Comedy Queens: No! Don’t do it! Don’t go! 

Pageant Queen 1: She’s a man with one eye! 

Shady Queen: There’s a hole in your heart, there’s a place in your soul, a passion so strong it makes your blood boil! All your dreams come alive! All your wishes will grow, if you take a swig of this fish oil! Drink for me! 

Penny: Oh, I’d really like to! But I shouldn’t I- 

Shady Queen: Drink for me! 

Penny: I do want to be a big, big star. 

Shady Queen: Drink for me!

Pageant Queens and Comedy Queens: Don’t do it, don’t do it! 

Shady Queens: Drink for me! 

Pageant Queens and Comedy Queens: You’ll lose it, you’ll lose it! 

Penny: Well, I’m gonna be the greatest star and nothing and no one’s gonna keep me down! And you and you, and all of you, I’ll make you  love me! 

Pageant Queens and Comedy Queens: Don’t do it, don’t do it!

Penny: Oh, I can’t get it open! 

Shady Queen: Here! [Opens the bottle]

Pageant Queens and Comedy Queens: Don’t do it, don’t do it!

Penny: Watch me be your star! 

Pageant Queens, Comedy Queens and Shady Queen: No T, No shade! 

[End Act I]