welcome come to nightvale

Podcasts I Can't Recommend Enough

Welcome To Nightvale: Come for the creepy, stay for the gay (and to meet literal satan). KING PODCAST, always reliable for an engaging story with great humor and emotion.

The Bright Sessions: Starts as therapy, then wrecks you with existential monologues. Also there’s superpowers.

Mabel: An elderly woman, her mysterious living house, and a very long voicemail.

Terms: A Donald Trump impeachment fantasy, lots of politics and shady practices. A nice escape from our real life hell.

The Strange Case of the Starship Iris: A gang of ragtag, gay, sweet space criminals travel the galaxy. Try to pick a fave, go ahead. Very relaxing and enthralling.

Alice Isn’t Dead: A truck driver searches for her missing wife across the country, while also dodging rabid, demon creatures.

Last Name Basis (non-fiction): Discussion of race, class, recent news, and more from a black woman and her white husband. Very funny, often thought provoking.


RECENT LISTENS:

Lesser Gods: The last 20 year olds in the world party and are treated as gods until one is mysteriously murdered.

Homecoming: Piece together the mysterious background of our main character through snippets of audio from her past, and present.

Ars Paradoxica: A time traveler stuck in the past, a shady government. Great sound design.

HAPPENING NOW AT DASHCON

Reports are still coming in but here are the facts we’ve verified at FIJMU:

  • Welcome to Nightvale has cancelled.
  • The game room only has one video game system and one television.
  • The two are not connected.
  • Under 500 people showed up.
  • The hotel does not have wi-fi.
  • People playing in the ball pit have complained of itching.
  • The $17,000 raised at the last minute has been spent on cocaine.
  • Nash Grier is filling in for Welcome to Nightvale.
  • Former supporters are protesting and picketing the entrance.
  • Two cosplayers have died of boredom, several other hospitalized.
  • Nash Grier has been shot.
  • Two more Nash Griers have grown back in his place, and they’re terrorizing the game room.
  • People who played in the ball pit have reported growing new appendages.
  • There are now four Nash Griers. Participants have been asked to stop shooting them but more and more keep coming.
  • George Lucas has cancelled.
  • Water quality is low, more itching is reported.
  • Germany has defeated Brazil 7-1.
  • Those complaining of itching are now quarantined.
  • The quarantine zone does not have wi-fi.
  • Reports of theft are at a record high for the USA since the Great Thieving of 1807.
  • The MRA table has been burned to the ground, there are smouldering fedoras everywhere.
  • The band “The Smouldering Fedoras” has cancelled.
  • Welcome to Nightvale has been caught in bad weather exiting the convention.
  • The “Dash” in DashCon has been stolen.
  • There are now over 128 Nash Griers stampeding in the game room.
  • The itching has become a burning. Heat upon Heat. But the Gom Jabbar is at our necks we cannot withdraw!
  • Jessica Alba has cancelled.
  • The ball pit was apparently filled with the eggs of the giant tse-tse fly.
  • A horde of Griers is now fighting the hatched giant flies.
  • Yet the convention is still boring as watching paint dry.
  • The drying paint has cancelled.
  • The convention has been declared the best in tumblr history.

More news as it comes. And now the weather.

Update:

  • Welcome to Nightvale is now suing FIJMU.
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*thinks about the fact that carlos is the only person who brings authentic opinions out of kevin that A) aren’t just fake-pleasant comments mixed with passive aggressiveness B) can be authentically negative, starting with him calling carlos ugly to him straight up telling carlos he didn’t want to eat carlos’ disgusting pasta salad*

mmm i really wish we got to hear more of them in the desert otherword =,__=,

The Current State Of Podcast Advertising Is Not Ideal

another fucking long blog folks

been feeling sort of torn lately. about where I’m at and what I’m doing. largely as I was editing in my underwear at 5 a.m last night and a cockroach crawled into my drink as I was about to drink it. Then knocking another one into the toilet and pissing it around the bowl while I watched it drown, like a sociopath.

3 years of staring down at my laptop as my belly gradually expands closer and closer to it. Closing in on 30 means staying up until dawn to produce free content gets harder and harder to do and it sucks that I’m SO good at it. Like the best on the planet. Listen, this is uncharismatic to say but I’m probably a genius. A genius at a thing anyone can do out of their basement if they just barely tried. So be it, I’ll take it.

Because I love podcasting and want to preserve it at its purest, I never cut corners and throw everyfuckingthing I have at it. I’m also at whim to how hard breaking into podcasting at this level really is. It’s always been brutal and terrifying. The amount of work would make lesser comedy nerds crumble. I probably already peaked. How sad will it be when a 40 year old man is in the back of Meltdown Comics with a Zoom recorder getting yelled at by college students on Twitter because a podcast is late. I dread the day.

This idea of artistic, intellectual integrity and freedom so far I’ve only achieved at the expense of my quality of life and other people’s dollars. A fair, transparent and ethical code of conduct in podcasting, comedy and beyond. Friends, family, hosts and our remarkable cult following pay for me to do this. I’ve taken a lot and I’m not sure I’m giving back enough.

Podcasting is now a multi-million dollar a year industry, so I hear. And that’s largely due to advertising. Rigorous, redundant, stuffed into your favorite show advertisements.

I’ve mostly managed to avoid this for 2 years now and somehow survive. Freelancing, launching a failed Zine, paying my webmaster for hours of free labor with some t-shirt sales, selling a few live shows. But as we expand costs to run everything go way up. And I pay all of it out pocket so I’m depleting in resources meaning a lot of what I want to do, I can’t simply because the funding isn’t there.

We tried a few advertisements on FeralAudio.com here and there to get people used to it, but the products and the relationships just aren’t there. We just don’t have the numbers. We are still the rag-tag Sandlot kids doing our own thing in our run down diamond and the big ass dog who’s got my Babe Ruth autographed baseball is bankruptcy. “barkruptcy”. Ugh.

There’s only a handful of companies willing to advertise on podcasts. Stamps and dildos and websites and audiobooks etc. And they pay next to nothing. It is all so played out and when you get these dribble down offers, our shows don’t perform like other shows do because A) it takes time to build an audience, a long time (unless you have a built in one) and B) all of these companies have been advertising for years on other shows. We all share audiences, all the networks, all the people who are going to subscribe to Audible have dude, which is why its completely fucking stupid anyone is competing with each other at all.

The shows in the top ten on iTunes, those shows with hundreds of thousands of listeners an episode, they get better offers. Podcast advertisers pay per impression. Usually its $10-$25 bucks per 1,000 downloads. Problem is the iTunes rating system is wonky. It’s not how popular your show is, its a myriad of other equations that equal one algorithm like; how fast people subscribe in a short time period or how many people visit the iTunes podcast page and click what. All those actions are worth “points.”

So all the advertisers look at the top ten podcasts and reach out to them. Problem is because of this wonky system, all the top ten podcasts are shows that have purely been around longer and accumulated points with their system. So anyone who started in 2009 or 2010 now has a permanent home in the top ten. Unless you are Welcome To Nightvale, but who saw that shit coming.

The major podcast networks are more run by business types than creatives. A couple of networks tried starting their own advertising firms. Idea being, they’ll sell blocks of advertising across other networks shows and take a cut. Rather than defeat the enemy, slow bleed them of money and make them your livestock. It’s like when vampires take in a concubine and don’t kill them, but they are like a party of favor if you want a quick snack at the Dracula mixer. Here’s a big public fuck that from me.

Anybody can advertise on a podcast. There’s dozens of creative ways to do it. Problem is, it pays next to nothing and getting paid is like pulling teeth. The last two ad runs we did, it took 6 months to get paid! 6 MONTHS! I was a completely different person when the check came in. I started talking to my Dad more, the economy was on the way up, Bob Hoskins died…

Our show The Duncan Trussell Family Hour is a huuuge advertising success. Duncan’s the real podcast genius. He’s a shadow producer of Feral and enlightened Chris Hardwick on what a podcast was. Want to know how to advertise on a podcast? Listen to Duncan.

Duncan only finds advertisers that will let him perform insane vulgar spoken word as his advertisements for them. The craziest shit in the entire podcast is within the advertisements. You’d be insane to skip over the first 30 minutes, you are on the edge of your seat wondering what he’ll say next. And his audience loves him so much (because he’s a Saint and truly deserves it) they jump at every offer which makes him human gold. More than he already is. Love you Duncan, wouldn’t be standing here without you.

Advertising WORKS! SMART advertising. Healthy advertising. Advertising that isn’t lying to you. Advertising supports art and entertainment. But when advertisers get their say in content and censor the medium they are advertising in, that is corporate fascism my friends and it is stand up, balls out, middle fingers in the air evil.

It is so rampant in our society its unusual to be a podcaster and not have to manipulate your language to appeal to William fucking Morris who owns Kraft who owns Interscope records who owns General Mills who owns Mr. Bubble and so on and so on. Until it all goes back to the 6 big evil oil companies that own everything. And we’re aimlessly moving around digits and increments from a piece of plastic to a screen and at this point like, IS MONEY EVEN REAL? OH I’LL GO TO JAIL IF I DON’T HAVE ANY? OK I’LL TAKE PART IN CAPITALISM.

The donation model WORKS. You vote with your dollar. The dollar has become the only democratic thing left! That’s why Kickstarter works. If every person who listened to Feral Audio in one week donated $5 just ONCE, I could run Feral into the next century. By then I’ll be brain in a jar but I’ll have an automaton to do my Pro Tools bidding. And I’d be FREE. FREEEEEEEE. And I would have BEAT THE SYSTEM. Folk hero shit. If I had 3 million dollars, I’d throw it right back into the community and makes tons of radical content for free. Give me 3 million dollars, I swear to God you can trust me.

It’s hard to get someone to donate to something they get for free. Or to inspire them I guess. To realize we have cut out the middleman and are making history together. Every time you put our podcasts in your device and pitch us a dollar, we are collaborating. A new model that’s really dangerous to all the companies that have power over us.

Advertisers make it seem so effortless and easy to hand over your dollar to them. What if you are in line at the grocery store and you wanna taste the rainbow? Boom, skittles. But if we ask for a dollar for an hour of free entertainment there’s 3% that love nothing more (my favorite percent) and the other 97% who are indignant we even asked.

I have a different vision of what we are doing is. It’s not TV, its not radio, you can’t run it like that. The medium doesn’t behave like anything you’ve seen before. It is in constant flux and its all in real time and there’s a way to use existing technology and just give people the thing they want that they didn’t even know they wanted. A way to do it independently, and fair, and transparent and beautiful. And then SHARE IT WITH EVERYONE. We intend to.

I let every podcaster decide what goes in their show. I don’t force them to advertise for anyone. I love advertising, I wish we were doing it more and I made like, $15,000 a month or whatever from the podcasts by taking the easy way out. I’d pour that money right into Feral Audio and the incredible people around me.

I think there is a different way to make money though. A lot of money. Completely independently without the tyranny of kneeling to studios or advertising executives. Which is why come July, we are testing the waters. It will take time. It will be new. It will be intimate. But if it works, it is really going to work.

This whole dress thing feels like a “Welcome to Nightvale” episode come to life.

“Listeners, stay calm… remember, the dress is blue and black. If you begin to perceive the dress as white and gold, please proceed in an orderly manner in the direction of Grove Park.”

Dashcon: Abridged Explanation

Okay so dashcon is a con made by a few select tumblr users

If anyones curious the website is here –> X

Its started yesterday, 7/11/14, anyway all was pretty smooth to my understanding until around 8 or 9 they called all the atendees into the main ballroom to tell them the hotel was threatening to shut down the con and kick everyone out that didnt have a hotelroom if they didnt get $17,000 american dollars by 10

Now everyone lit flips shit and starts giving cash to the admins (I read somewhere someone payed $360 out of pocket) and then they set up a paypal for people to pay online. One admin tweeted a picture of her crying to show how “real” all this was. (I use real loosely) [X] Now they reach this goal in about less then an hour and woohoo the con is saved!

Well no, this is where the trouble starts.

Some people contacted the hotel to ask about this and they hotel claims they never asked for that amount of money in a short amount of time and were trying to hold negotiations with the admins. This leaves the question where the fuck did $17k go?

Admins then posted on their tumblr that everyone that would be recieving refunds for donations. but then this leaves the question where are they gonna get the money to refund all this.

Im sure you are thinking “oh man this is a huge scam!’ well yes especially when someone pointed out paypal takes 2-3 days to process, so the hotel wouldnt of been able to get that money that quickly.

Now thats where day 1 about ended for information, so onto day 2:

7/12/14 aka today. The con began decent, but quickly went downhill. The hit podcast, Welcome to Nightvale, was scheduled to come down. Now usually, big conventions pay for guests room and flights to come down, along with paying them for the panel, however the cast of WTNV payed for their room and flight, but when it came time for their panel, Dashcon admins could not pay them, and so they walked.

This wouldnt be /that/ horrible, if people didnt pay extra for special seating, so to compensate, the admins posted on their tumblr that those who paid for the special seats could get an extra hour in the ball pit. Yeah. Also there was a bouncy castle too. $17k people. (They arent even worth talking about both are dinky as hell)

Heres a source to the above: X

Theres also the contraversy over the panals being shown, specifically "Homoerotic subtext”, which many say fetishize those that are gay. Also a “BDSM 101” panel which is not 18+, even tho a Kill la Kill panel is.

Also to top things off I guess, a weekend pass was $65.

Thats all that happend I think feel free to send more information (this want abridged at all lol)

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Okay also im not going to give my opinion on here but if you /REALLY/ want it, PM me and ill send you my personal so you can see.

my dash is pretty average since everything’s on hiatus but at the beginning and middle of the month, they come 

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